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1
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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.
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PHONE RINGS
3
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:11,040
Hello?
4
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,480
Hi, yeah, this is Lara.
5
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,080
We have a viewing at 22 Wariday.
6
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,760
Are you nearby?
7
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:16,840
Uh, no.
8
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,720
I mean, yes.
9
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,240
Er... Wait one second.
10
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,520
PHONE BEEPS
11
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,280
Oh, my God. It's like they literally
don't know what their job is.
12
00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,320
Pricks.
13
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,440
Kelly, hello.
14
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:39,640
Bloody hell.
15
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,800
HE LAUGHS
16
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:46,280
Erm... Sorry I'm late. I got stuck
in the queue for the shops.
17
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,280
I just saw you come out of
the house.
18
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,960
Are the shops in there?
19
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,200
Probably not.
20
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,120
The thing about this flat is,
it's not filling me
21
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,600
with very nice things to look at.
22
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,320
That's done to keep you away
from the door.
23
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,600
Why they trying to perm a lampshade?
That's too hard.
24
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,840
This is a bit too thin
for my liking.
25
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,880
That's dirty.
Look at this drawer.
26
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,080
Oh, and it comes all the way out.
And it's full of wood.
27
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:16,400
Two of these. Look, two of those.
28
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:20,720
And bloody two weights on the floor.
What is it? Two o'clock?
29
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,080
You put that in the corner. Oh!
30
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,400
It's going knock that
against the bloody wall, isn't it?
31
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,040
And it goes where it wants. See,
it's knocked into your leg there.
32
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,960
I don't like it. Well, lucky you're
not going to be living here, so...
33
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,880
I'm not living here.
34
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,520
Yeah, that's a picture of me
and my sister cuddling in a field.
35
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,640
Why the hell do they want to put
that in here?
36
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,840
This place is damn caca.
37
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,000
I'm sorry it wasn't
for your liking anyway.
38
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,320
Are you all right? Oh, sorry,
why do you keep saying that?
39
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,720
We really like it and we need
somewhere to move quickly.
40
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,040
So, is it still available to move
today, tomorrow?
41
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,360
Oh, come off.
42
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,680
So, yes? Yeah, yeah.
43
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:02,560
Great. Let me just, er,
get my work bag.
44
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,880
You've signed that, yeah? Well done.
Yeah, great. Thank you.
45
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,320
Here's the keys. Thank you.
46
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,320
Hey! Oh, my God! God.
47
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,560
Jesus Christ.
48
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,000
That's... That's not on!
49
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:19,760
Oh, my God.
50
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,840
Do you want to not live here now?
51
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,160
Cos of that?
52
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,640
Trust me, yeah? You know in films
53
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,960
where, like, a thing explodes
with fire,
54
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,200
and a person, like, flies through
the air from it, yeah?
55
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,560
When I saw the sticks on fire,
56
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,800
I was so worried that was going
to happen to me.
57
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,840
But...it didn't.
58
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,280
Oh. Oh, oh, my God, that is... Yeah.
59
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:52,360
I mean, who the hell would go
around charring like that, you know?
60
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,520
I mean, you could have
burnt your head, your mouth.
61
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,840
I mean, it sounds like a...
62
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,640
Fine, it sounds fine.
63
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,040
Lovely speed, Sophie.
Watch her fly!
64
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,960
Oi! New life in my body.
Sorry, Carole.
65
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,080
You're replacing the signs.
That is brave work. Wow.
66
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,840
Yeah, Carole said I have to
fling water on the fire too,
67
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,880
but I swear that's not even
health or safe.
68
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,760
I couldn't do that alone.
I'd be terrified.
69
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,240
Sophie, can you stop flirting?
Do the signs.
70
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,840
Oh, bye, Al.
71
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,400
Is she going to be OK?
72
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,040
I mean, whoever has done this
could have more than fire.
73
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,240
A blade or brick.
74
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,880
A fire, blade or a brick.
75
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,440
Is it a computer game character?
76
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,280
It's probably just
some wrong 'un fat kids,
77
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,480
having a laugh with a Zippo.
78
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,720
Sorry. Did you see the sticks?
No, OK.
79
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,360
The fire was much higher than
children are. Read some science.
80
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,600
Oh, I beg you all, shut up.
It could have been anyone.
81
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,080
We're a shit lettings agency.
No-one doesn't hate us.
82
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,400
It could have been me. I hate us.
83
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,560
Why are we all still here?
We should be hiding, innit?
84
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,800
Let's go to Leicester Square,
catch a flick or something.
85
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:49,960
You're such a wuss.
86
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,360
You're actually very meagre for such
a bid wad, aren't you?
87
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,200
Oh, I'm sorry. Well, someone in this
office
88
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:55,960
is going to have be meagre, OK?
89
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,320
So, what, when your baby's born,
90
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,280
you're not even going to be scared
for it's life? Oh, charming, Al.
91
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,600
Oh, yeah, cos that's what everyone
looks for in a dad, isn't it, fear?
92
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,280
Not a problem for you though, is it?
93
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,960
Cos you're not going to be a dad
ever, cos you're a shame on legs.
94
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,960
How'd your viewing go today, Stath?
95
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,320
Oh, yeah. Excuse me. No, thank you.
96
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,440
Carole's pregnant, sir!
97
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,120
Shut up. Oi! You got rice
on my laptop, man!
98
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:22,800
Was that rice?
99
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,000
Oh, damn it.
100
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,560
Oh, my God, Sophie, are you OK?
101
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,480
Sophie's not here, you mad perv!
102
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,640
Who was that?
They took all the keys.
103
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,000
Rice, man, fuck!
104
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,440
I told you it wasn't children.
Look, he had a long hat on.
105
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,400
Does anybody know someone
who wears a long hat?
106
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,200
Does anybody recognise them,
their body?
107
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,400
God, I'm so bad with bodies.
108
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,440
I swear, man, if he'd just been,
like, very slow,
109
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,720
I'd have whacked him within length
of something.
110
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,880
He was slow. You did bugger all.
111
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,040
Yes, we did. Al did a lovely
little dig in there.
112
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,520
It was like watching a bloody dancer
in a bloody West End play.
113
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,080
I got a hand to him, but then he
pulled a move and then he escaped.
114
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,080
Right, can all the men be quiet now?
115
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,600
This is very murky.
116
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,080
He took the keys, it's got all
the addresses next to it.
117
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,680
We need to sort this out.
118
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,760
There's rice in the fucking
headphone thing.
119
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:04,800
Hello.
120
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:07,880
Oh, hi, Vasos.
121
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,960
How the hell...? How are you doing?
122
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,480
Oh.
123
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,760
All of the planks is burning, innit?
Hmm?
124
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,760
It's so bad. Someone done ours too.
125
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,400
Oh, my God, innit?
That one's burning, look.
126
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,840
Oh, dear.
127
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,640
You using sparkling water?
128
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,440
That's exclusive drink, man.
129
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,320
I got a big Lilt in my car.
130
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,520
Do you?
131
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,720
That's tropical style, innit?
132
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,080
You're quite posh, though.
133
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,600
How come you're doing the planks?
134
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,480
Planks? Do you mean, sticks?
135
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,240
Do you call them sticks?
136
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,600
I call them planks.
137
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,840
I just go sticks.
138
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,360
SHE GIGGLES
139
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,600
Are you from American Let's?
140
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,000
I love that name.
141
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,120
It always makes me think of,
like, cool.
142
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,960
Yeah, America's too sick, man.
143
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,480
I get too excited any time I hear
about America.
144
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,680
Last year, my brother, Stath, told
me some things about New York City
145
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:17,960
and I got a headache.
146
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,160
That's crazy, man, that's live.
147
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,320
Oh, is that guy Stath
your brother, yeah?
148
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:24,840
Oh, yeah.
149
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:26,720
I like that guy. A lot of respect.
150
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,520
Thanks.
151
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,200
What's your name, though?
152
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,360
Cos my name is called Sophie.
153
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,000
I'm called Cem.
154
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,960
Well, thanks for everything, Sophie.
155
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,560
Thanks, Cem.
156
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,320
Yes, bruv, rice at my laptop.
157
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,680
At the laptop, who's going
to throw a laptop at rice?
158
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,320
Hang on, what, you just did nothing?
Not even a little one-two?
159
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,960
Come, Stath, you need to one-two.
They stole the keys.
160
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,520
They had a mask hat on.
It could have been anyone.
161
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,960
What if it was, like, a old friend?
Why is this happening?
162
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,560
I was at home enjoying cooking
chickens with Stephen.
163
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,720
Well, stay home with bloody Steve
and chickens then.
164
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,640
We're calling the damn po-po...
Policemen.
165
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,120
All right, grass, telling teacher.
166
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,080
We're going to deal with
this ourselves, right?
167
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,000
Yes, Stathy, no police.
I have £75 hiding on the ceiling.
168
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,200
How is it hiding? Also,
it's just fucking Smethwicks.
169
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,800
They're still chewing me for
leaving. When I was with them,
170
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,080
we used to do this silly shit
to you lot all the time.
171
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,720
Which silly shits did he do with me?
172
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,680
You know, just chuck piss
in there, whatever.
173
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,840
Like a little tumbler of it.
Oh, ho-ho-ho.
174
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,880
Well, the carpet already
stank terribly
175
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,520
from when I spilt loads
and loads of milk on it, OK?
176
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,640
And don't be so proud.
177
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,320
If it's going to be another agency,
it's going to be a dirty tut one,
178
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:48,520
like American Let's.
179
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,240
Oh, my God, I bet it's
American Let's. Trust me...
180
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,480
No, not them. It's the smoky ones.
Smoky ones.
181
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,760
Stop shouting smoky ones.
182
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,600
Bloody smoky! I said on the phone.
183
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,240
Alistair? Oh, I think he means
Vape Estates.
184
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,560
Yeah, they're like a hybrid agency
and Vasos doesn't approve. Sorry.
185
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,520
How the hell did you
understand that?
186
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,920
Oh, Vasos calls me at night
sometimes, for a chat. It's nice.
187
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,600
I would love you to do that with me.
Oh, God.
188
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,520
Look, if the big man says
it's these Vape clowns
189
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,080
then that's what we're doing, OK?
190
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:17,000
Let's have a word with Vape Estates.
Is it, yeah? OK.
191
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,680
Well, they best lock up their
laptops cos I'm going to switch.
192
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,160
Ooh. Yes!
193
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,360
Oh, yeah, I might switch
too actually.
194
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,520
And I'm going to switch.
Are you, Alastair?
195
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,400
No, I don't think I'm going
to switch.
196
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,080
Yeah, I fancy it.
I love a vape, yeah.
197
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,040
You, railing, cancel this arvo's
viewings
198
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,160
and order me some Maki-Maki
for when I get back.
199
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,600
Make sure there's chopsticks.
Ask for big chopsticks.
200
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,840
Yeah. OK? OK. Right. Let's bounce!
201
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,760
♪ She said, baby boy,
why you lookin' grimy as shit?
202
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,160
♪ I make the wristwatch
full of diamond fill my sink
203
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,720
♪ If I got colours on my neck,
what would my mama think?
204
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:51,680
♪ We cut the record, took time,
let's make these boys extinct... ♪
205
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:55,400
OK, Dad, when we go in there,
I'm really going to smash them up.
206
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,760
Is that OK? Is that OK?
207
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,520
What, you're going to ask them that
before you smash them up, are you?
208
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,040
Why I would ask them that? Pathetic.
Ooh! You got some fire in you.
209
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,720
God, I hope your fella can hold
his own. Christ!
210
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,600
What, Clerk? Oh, you're joking,
aren't you? I call him a berk
211
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,840
and he just trots off to bed.
212
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,200
He can't handle nothing. That's a
shame. I can handle everything.
213
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,640
And so, when we get in there,
nobody do anything.
214
00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,720
Trust me, innit?
Watch, you won't even see me.
215
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,800
You'll just hear...
216
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,160
"What's... What's that?"
217
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,480
Kak!
218
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,960
And then you'll look
219
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,240
and everybody will be scrabbling
onto each other for dear life.
220
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,520
All right. I beg you lot drop me off
so I can get some rice.
221
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,240
As soon as I walk in I'm going
to push someone over, watch.
222
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:35,800
Oh, ow!
223
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,080
I nipped my trouser on the flap.
224
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,440
Go on, Stath.
225
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:40,480
I am going on.
226
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,200
Hi.
227
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,320
Are you lot here for a viewing
or vape?
228
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,440
Wouldn't you like to know...?
229
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,640
What? Viewing or what?
What is this shop?
230
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,040
We do vapes and we do flats.
231
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,320
I was busy selling vapes, and my
brother was doing lettings.
232
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,880
And we didn't really get to see
each other so...merging it.
233
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,040
I'm not interested in your story!
234
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,640
Just cos it's a nice story, you
think you can distract me with it?
235
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,000
Shut up!
236
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,200
Who are you?
237
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,000
I'm the big boy
that you stole my keys.
238
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:11,240
Give them to me back.
239
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,800
What, you lot got your keys jacked?
We just had our keys jacked.
240
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,720
My brother's gone out to find them
with a spike.
241
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,120
He's going to batter them with it.
242
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,400
With a spike? Yeah.
Why did you think it was us, sorry?
243
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,840
Huh? Yeah.
244
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,280
Well, because my dad, yeah,
245
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,840
actually had a very strong
feeling about something.
246
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,560
What was it?
Because of all the smoke.
247
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,760
That's not a reason though, is it?
I'm looking.
248
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,040
Right, off to Smethwick's then,
is it?
249
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,360
Suck 'em up!
250
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,600
Argh!
251
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,760
SOPHIE: Loving all over England.
252
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,600
♪ Loving all over Wales.
253
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,040
♪ Loving all over Scotland
and Wembley
254
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,120
♪ That's British love
255
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,640
♪ Love is gay and love is gay. ♪
256
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,440
Hello, again.
257
00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,360
You weren't singing last time
and you are this time.
258
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:57,480
Sometimes, I want to sing
and sometimes I just like talking.
259
00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,640
Well, you should always sing.
260
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:03,960
Cos you sound like a fucking,
er, bird.
261
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,360
Oh.
262
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:09,000
You finished with that plank?
What? Oh, sticks.
263
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,240
No. Have you done all your sticks?
264
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,960
What? No, I got to go now.
265
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,160
Bye.
266
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,160
What?
267
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,040
Don't. Oh, my God!
268
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,520
No!
269
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:34,000
What you doing, man?
That's someone's else's sticks.
270
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,960
Oh, my God, how am I lying? You are.
271
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,320
I didn't even say you were lying,
but you're lying.
272
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,200
I'm not. I'm saying I'm doing fire,
so I didn't ever lie to ya.
273
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,160
Sorry.
274
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,440
Hey!
275
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,400
So, my boss, Bits, yeah,
he wanted to do, like,
276
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,480
a scary fire joke with you lot.
277
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,280
He thinks it's so funny.
278
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,520
Fire's not even a funny joke,
though, is it?
279
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,200
That's risking my life.
I was gonna call 999.
280
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,920
It's not even my style of
humour, man.
281
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:05,520
I just like every day normal jokes,
knock-knock, doctor or whatever.
282
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,440
Is people annoyed? Yeah.
283
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,600
When my brother saw the fire, he
said he thought he was going to die.
284
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,440
That's so annoying.
285
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,760
Cos I think he's so, so sick.
286
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,280
I watched him driving around
in his car the other day,
287
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,600
and it made me smile, man.
288
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,320
Will you tell your brother
I'm sorry to God?
289
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,680
All right.
290
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,760
Yeah, but it's well naughty.
291
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,240
Knock-knock.
292
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,640
Who's there?
293
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:36,000
Fire.
294
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,280
Roar.
295
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,120
You sound like a fire as well.
296
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,760
Hey, Robbie.
297
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,560
Is that wee?
298
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,600
Yeah.
299
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,440
And we're going to throw it in
your office.
300
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,840
Can you open the door, please?
301
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:04,880
All right.
302
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,000
But don't.
303
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,880
All right, Dad.
304
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,640
Let's do this.
305
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:16,440
Oh, no, that's going to tear my
trouser if I pull it further.
306
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,240
Wait, wait, don't.
307
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,280
Robbie, mate.
308
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,800
This is it?
Right, Mackie, Mackie, chop sticks.
309
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:22,920
Still hitting the Mackie.
310
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,520
You better hope I don't take my
trousers off and come over there.
311
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,120
Dad, can you help me with
this, please?
312
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,160
Oh, my gosh.
313
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,840
This is my firm now, yeah?
314
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,480
You want to burn our signs,
you want to nick our keys,
315
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,760
chuck piss,
316
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,160
I'll happily touch your eyes
with these. Happily.
317
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,360
Do you know what? I can't be doing
with touching eyes.
318
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,640
Yeah, it gets me a bit burpy,
that sort of thing, yeah.
319
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:43,320
It's you guys that are nicking
the keys and burning all the signs.
320
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,760
That's why I was going to get you
with piss.
321
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,800
You're fucking lying.
322
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,280
I'm not.
323
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,600
I can't believe I wasn't involved
in that.
324
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,160
I really wanted to be part of that.
325
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:57,080
Oh, that is a long tear now.
326
00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,400
Stath, you know that big boy,
Cem, from American Let's?
327
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,400
What, that fool with a big drink?
328
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,440
Who's always smiling at me
when I'm in my car, why?
329
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,240
He told me to tell you that it's
them that's doing the nicking
330
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,720
and the burning.
331
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,400
He feels well bad.
332
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,640
But I said, "OK, then."
333
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:13,840
What, American Let's?
334
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,760
God.
335
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,000
OK, so it's not yous lot.
336
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,800
Who am I throwing rice at today?
337
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,440
Remember earlier,
when I said it was American Let's?
338
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,960
Well, guess who got it right?
339
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,160
Me.
340
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,000
No, I'm pointing for you to say
me, Stath.
341
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,720
Stath. Stath. American Let's.
My cousin works there.
342
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,080
How's he going throw grain at me?
343
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,080
All right, Caz. Phone the other
agencies, yeah?
344
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,160
We're all going to go down there.
They best buck up.
345
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,720
Right, on it. Who's got Chigby
Estates mob, then?
346
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,320
I'm going to switch on them.
347
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,920
Dad. Can everyone just remember that
I've got it right at the top.
348
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,920
For just a second, everybody say,
"We did it? We did it.
349
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,240
"Stath got it right."
350
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,040
"We did it, we did it."
351
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,160
Stath got it right.
No-one's joining in with that.
352
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,240
Can everyone join in with that?
353
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,680
Stath got it right.
354
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,360
Is this getting a bit crazy, Al?
355
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,400
Yeah, I actually just overheard
an agent say that
356
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,200
he was furious about the keys.
357
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,960
So, yeah, it's getting heavy.
358
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,560
Wait, wait, they are all agents?
359
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,080
Hi. Anthony Stappan.
360
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,080
Hi. Work for Anthony
Stappan Rentals.
361
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,560
Did they take your keys as well?
362
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,440
Oh, no, I'm good. I've got all
mine here.
363
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,000
Why are you touching my face
with it?
364
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,280
I thought I'd come down and see what
everyone's up to,
365
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,920
you know, just get
the lay of the land.
366
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,000
I hear that Michael and Eagle are
a furnishing...
367
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,520
Give us the keys back,
simple bollocks.
368
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,160
Come cuff me, innit? Come on, then.
369
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,960
What, what? You saying you got me?
You got me.
370
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,240
STATH: Care boys. Danger.
371
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,080
Think about it first a little bit.
372
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,120
Come outside.
373
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,640
Don't break the shop.
374
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,240
Bruv, I knew it was you!
375
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,040
Well, I'm going to smack your
teeth, bruv.
376
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,560
Come outside, bring your rice.
377
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:42,640
You didn't know it was me.
378
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,480
I was wearing a cover. Was good
though, yeah?
379
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,360
Bits, I told you they don't think
it's a laugh.
380
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,360
Shut up, Cem. Could you not get the
joke, man? It's fire, innit?
381
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,400
Gently, mate.
382
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,040
Act gently or they won't give us
the keys
383
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,280
if we're scratching the shop.
384
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,640
Sophie, tell your turkey boyfriend
give us the keys back.
385
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,200
Well, don't say turkey about people.
386
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,520
Go on, Robbie, do it, do it.
387
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,120
It's a coat.
388
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,280
It's not even chilly.
389
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,000
Oh, he's coming out.
He's coming out.
390
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,720
You lot actually don't get the joke?
391
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,120
What joke?
392
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,760
You lot are all rich and
stuff, innit?
393
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,360
And now you're, "Where are my keys?"
I can't find my keys!"
394
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,720
Is that an impression of us?
395
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,920
It doesn't sound like us.
396
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,680
Maybe just chuck the spike at them.
397
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,080
Dad, stop doing that.
398
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,640
You're going to break your shoe.
399
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,840
Smack the car, Sophia.
400
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:32,800
What's he kicking the car for?
401
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,080
Dad! It's rude, innit?
402
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,920
Dad, shut up smacking the car.
403
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,720
The keys are in the shop.
404
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,480
Oh, you off, you? Going to get
your trousers fixed or something?
405
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,200
No, I was just going to have a
think. I wasn't leaving.
406
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,240
Oh, yeah.
407
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,480
Can we focus on the shop?
408
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,040
It's lovely, lovely stuff.
409
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,280
Stath, stop everyone.
410
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,120
Say something. Kick!
411
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,160
What?
412
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,600
Sorry, I didn't know you'd be quiet
from that.
413
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,720
Thank you.
414
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,240
Look, it's just keys, innit?
415
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:04,440
I swear it's quite nice to have
a break from keys, isn't it?
416
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,840
All of us every bloody day,
our whole life, keys, keys, keys.
417
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,480
We all do the same thing, innit?
418
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:11,920
I don't even know any of you lot.
419
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,640
I swear that's got to be
silly, right?
420
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,720
I mean, glory lord, everyone else
doesn't like us.
421
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,000
So, isn't it that we should try to
get on or chat
422
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,640
or something or whatever?
423
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,560
I'm not setting out to
be your best friend,
424
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,800
but, like, I'm not going to be
calling you every night, every day.
425
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,600
I get enough of that from
the tenants.
426
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,520
I'm Anthony Stappan. Anthony
Stappan Rentals.
427
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,600
Oh, Carole, Carole Collins.
428
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,560
This is going to sound weird
but, right,
429
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,840
we all got our viewings cancelled
this afternoon.
430
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,360
Why don't we all go for a bloody
drink and relax,
431
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,360
maybe get a pint of the old
Irish beer?
432
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,680
I'll tell you what, we spend enough
time with each other,
433
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,480
we'll probably let each other
a flat.
434
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,720
Knowing us. Knowing us.
435
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,120
I'm sorry I lied to you.
436
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,040
Well, don't like us, just give us
the keys. Thank you very much.
437
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,320
Whose are these?
438
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,920
Sorry, why's everyone listening to
Stath for the first time?
439
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,080
They trashed all our shit.
440
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,440
What, everyone's just going to be
like, going for a drink?
441
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,040
Right, fair point, fair Point, Dean,
442
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,440
how about we allow to smash one
other thing of theirs.
443
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,360
And then that's even
and we can drink a drink.
444
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,400
Yeah.
445
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,920
No! No! I told them! I told them!
446
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,240
Actually, guys, guys,
Anthony Stappan Rentals.
447
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,880
I've got a viewing right near here.
448
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,280
Do you mind if we go en route?
449
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,280
That was a bit of a roller coaster,
wasn't it?
450
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:49,720
Yeah, it was so scary.
451
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,600
I thought I was going to
shit myself.
452
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,920
God, yeah. I thought I was going to
shit myself.
453
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,880
Did Stath say you had a...
454
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,200
This is Cem. He's very sorry.
455
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,760
And yeah.
456
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,640
Hi. I'm sorry about the fires.
457
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,680
That's all right. Are you OK?
458
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:07,960
Yeah.
459
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,040
Cos you look like one sick guy.
460
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:14,400
No, yeah, I mean, I...
Yes, I'm really sick and so are you.
461
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,360
Guys, sorry, no, he didn't want it.
462
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,520
Aw.
463
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:18,720
I know. I know.
464
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,360
Someone said, they didn't want
one from me once and all.
465
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,280
Let's just go, come on.
466
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,320
Mug.
467
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,520
Do we think we'll be up for that?
468
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,400
I'm Anthony Stappan.
469
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,800
Anthony Stappan Rentals.
470
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,200
You taking the piss?
471
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,240
Don't say that again.
472
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,480
Cem, am I still on it?
473
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,960
Course.
474
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,080
Might be hard if I tickle your feet,
though, innit?
475
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,880
No, don't tickle me, no.
476
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,680
Don't tickle me,
no, don't tickle me.
477
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,040
Dean-o, we're going to have some
poppers go on that slide,
478
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,400
do you want it? No, I'm a good guy.
479
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,840
I actually haven't had a sniff yet.
480
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,600
I don't have any friends.
481
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:04,840
Why am I at a funfair,
482
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,560
rolling deep with the biggest
dickheads in the UK?
483
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,080
They're a lot of fiddlers,
aren't they?
484
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,800
Fiddling around in our lives.
485
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,640
So, they can fiddle off.
486
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,200
Fuck off.
487
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,760
One Mississippi went to market.
488
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,120
No, Cem.
489
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,120
Come on, Anthony.
490
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,160
Come on, mate.
491
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,320
Oh, were you just on that too,
were you?
492
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,920
Did you hear me effing
and blinding?
493
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,600
I was shouting at a skeleton.
494
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,240
Oh, yeah.
495
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:36,520
Look, I just want to say I'm sorry
that I gave you shit earlier, OK?
496
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:40,840
You usually deserve it, but you've
actually been quite sweet today.
497
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,440
So, can you stop clicking?
498
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,480
Yeah, you made me feel good.
499
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,840
The truth is, I'm having a bit of a
murky time ATM with Clerk and...
500
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,080
Oh, poo, poo.
501
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:52,720
Yeah, I'm sad. So, you know.
502
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,040
I shouldn't have said you'd
be a crap dad.
503
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,800
I'm sure you'll be a loud, but
fine, dad.
504
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,280
Thank you.
505
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:05,640
What, to a son, yeah?
506
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,240
Maybe call him Vade.
507
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,280
I don't know, sorry.
508
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,400
Anyway, I'll see you later.
No, sorry, no, don't go.
509
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,040
Everyone's been saying
nice comments.
510
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,080
I don't how to...
511
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,280
..do you want to have a car crash?
512
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,600
♪ Across the evening sky
513
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:36,280
♪ All the birds are leaving
514
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,840
♪ But how can they know
515
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,800
♪ It's time for them to go?
516
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,400
♪ Before the winter fire... ♪
517
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,000
I swear to God, if you bump me.
518
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,080
Right. Bro, I swear to God.
519
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:04,400
Come back.
520
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:05,960
Get out your car.
521
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,520
Go away.
522
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:09,840
I'm not acting in any way.
523
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,400
If you're going to tell me off,
you've got to tell the child off.
524
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,280
Carole! I was fancying Carole!
525
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,840
I don't know why it's supposed to be
so hard.
526
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,600
You never come off if you just do it
my clinging anyway.
527
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,080
You were amazing.
528
00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:22,320
The queen of the cow.
529
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:23,560
Yeah, she was sick.
530
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:24,720
It's my turn now.
531
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,160
No, I'm going next, thank you.
532
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,640
Well, good luck, bro.
533
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,040
Woo, Al.
534
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,000
You have to take your hands
out of your pocket, bro.
535
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,280
I'm protecting them.
536
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,160
I organised this whole special
day, man,
537
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,640
and you're kicking me out of my day.
538
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,320
Al, tell him I'm not naughty, innit?
539
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:55,360
Whoa. Whoa.
540
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,280
Al, take your hands out of your
pockets, man.
541
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,840
You can look cool later. Be safe.
542
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,920
Whoa. There's a good girl,
there's a good girl.
543
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,960
There's a good girl.
544
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,720
Woo, Al.
545
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,280
You should get a photo of yourself
leaning against it.
546
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,440
Oh, no.
547
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,960
Do you think so? Yeah.
548
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,320
Oh, she was very kind to me.
549
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,680
Say, "Al".
550
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,560
Oh, my God, he landed on his eyes.
551
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,600
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
552
00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:43,200
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41214
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