Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

There is no way they shut down the airlines for some flu.

Yeah, babe, I told you.

I'm gonna be on the plane at nine AM.

I'll be home by seven.

No, you have nothing to worry about. I'm not even drinking.

Okay.

Yeah.

Like we talked about.

You know what? Work is calling.

Let me call you back.

Great.

Do you need a fresh towel?

Yeah, is that all I can get?

Can I take this one?

Please.

How about a drink?

Mr. Caustin, can I get you anything?

Uh, yeah.

I'll take a whisky.

And one of those?

One whisky coming up.

Ah.

Oh, my god!

Help!

From New York we go to California now,

the nation's most populous state.

It is a strange Saturday, indeed.

Half the state's population, 22 million,

could become infected with coronavirus

within the next eight weeks.

The Golden State is in shutdown mode.

Normally bustling retail areas

look like ghost towns as Californians

spend their first weekend on social distancing lockdown.

The impact of people staying at home

is being felt in Hollywood.

We need to flatten the curve

in the state of California.

Another day in paradise.

You know, I think my roots are gonna be dark

by the end of the week.

That is, if they're not already gray

from all the stir-craziness.

Life inside is for hermits, not for me.

Not for us.

But then I started thinking about all the first responders

and the medical people and what they would give

to be in my shoes right now, so,

I know I've said it 100 times before but I'll say it again.

Being grateful is everything.

I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful for this place.

And of course, all of you guys.

Fuck.

And all of you guys.

And all of you.

You guys.

Just another day in paradise.

You know, I think my roots will be dark by the end of the...

Oh, Ty!

John.

- Impressive swim. - Thank you.

You know what was impressive? That margarita.

Why, thank you. Fresh lime juice.

Yeah? Like I said, makes a big difference.

You were right.

Can I get you another drink?

We are great, thank you.

I just gotta fix this quarantine hair.

It's getting out of control.

I do not have that problem.

Oh, thank you.

You're welcome.

Does she not like us?

No, no. She just keeps to herself.

- It's not just me, right? - No, no, it's...

- Hey, baby. - Hey.

I'm tired.

Oh, you're tired? You wanna lay in the sun?

No, I don't.

I'm just stressed.

Yeah, I know. I can feel it.

I'm serious, John. How long are we gonna stay here?

I don't know. Until it's over?

I can't fly with the corons. There's no flights anywhere.

They're telling everyone to stay put,

and I don't know what else...

What is that sound?

That's momma getting paid.

Oh, when's daddy get his cut?

Maybe daddy'll get a tip 'cause this has been pretty good.

- It is pretty good, right? - Yeah.

You should quit your day job.

- Do you like that? - I love that joke.

- What time is it? - I don't know.

Do you have somewhere you have to be?

No, I just forgot to take my pills.

Mind getting them for me? They're just over there.

The service here is great.

Take your happy pills.

I've been meaning to get off of these anyway.

Yeah?

This pandemic is so weird.

All these empty hallways, the red lights.

It gives me the creeps.

Just a tiny staff and us in this huge place?

I mean, how are we gonna pay for all of it?

Hm.

Credit.

That's not the answer.

Just relax.

We have moved on to the aromatherapy portion of the massage.

That's hand sanitizer.

Oh.

Well, now it's back sanitizer.

- Okay. - Mm-hm!

- Doesn't have any words yet. - It doesn't have any?

Oh, wine.

Right on time.

- Thank you, sir. - Absolutely.

I present to you this bottle of wine,

from the lower rack of the last available

- closet in the kitchen. - My favorite!

How did you know?

I just, you know, I took a gamble.

Did you organize all of this?

- I had some help from Ty. - It's my favorite.

I know.

- It smells like France. - Yeah, like the sand, right?

Yeah.

Cheers.

I love you.

- Do you now, Mr. Burke? - Yes, I do, Mrs. Burke.

I love you too.

What? No.

Wait, it's 10 o'clock already?

Yeah, I guess.

- Okay, well... - Okay.

Here's to the strangest honeymoon ever.

To the best honeymoon ever.

- That's I meant. - Yeah.

Cheers.

Mm.

Mm! Speaking of strangest.

This room is where they had the 1929 Academy Awards.

The very first Academy Awards.

And you know how they got everyone

to leave at the end of the night?

- No? Tell me. - It's very strange.

- They turn off all the lights. - Okay?

And then this big red scary light came on

and then everyone just very quietly filed out.

- You're so full of shit. - It's true!

- No. - They were all wearing masks.

- Not pandemic masks, like- - No, of course not.

Horny, horny masks.

Yeah, what else were they wearing?

1929 shit.

Okay?

- But not for long. - No.

Before they just started...

Oh, my god, John.

Somebody just offered me $600 to take photos of my feet.

Do you think I should do it?

Yeah. Yeah, do it.

- Yeah? - Yeah!

But send pictures of my feet.

- Those beauties. - Eww.

Come on, look at those babies.

Yes?

Hi!

Thank you, great.

- Same? - Yes.

Oh!

- Lucky us. - I don't wanna eat it.

- I know. - Don't make me eat it.

I won't make you eat it.

Do you think the vending machine on five

still has food in it?

Mm!

Well, if it does, it won't for very long.

- Bye! - Bye.

Are you lost?

I'm sorry, I, um... I'm sorry.

Should you be doing that?

I...

I'm sorry.

I was looking for celebrities.

Did you find any?

Charlie Sheen?

- He counts! - Yeah, right!

Yeah, yeah!

Don't worry about it. 12 days will make anybody stir-crazy.

- Is that it? - 12 days, yeah.

It feels like it's been forever.

Mm. Tell me about it.

Hey, Ty. I thought that we were the only people here?

Oh, we are. Look, I just wear a lot of hats.

So I've let a few things slip through the cracks, but uh,

- I'm gonna go fix that now. - Okay.

Yes?

- Hi. - Hi.

- Is it okay if I clean now? - Yes, sure.

- Do you need me to leave? - No, no, you're fine.

Okay, thanks.

Will you tell me your name again?

- Uh, it's Adela. - Adela, right.

Where are you from?

Poland.

Got it.

Um, maybe I should clean the upstairs first.

Sure.

You know, I've never been to Poland. What town are you from?

So this building is from 1927

and Ty said that this ceiling is original.

Do you think they ever clean it?

I don't know.

It's probably pretty dusty.

Have you been cooking the food?

- Yeah, is it good? - It's, yeah, good.

- Thank you. - Oh, that's my mustache comb.

Sara likes the warm. I don't like...

You get it.

Sometimes food gets caught in the mustache

and you can get it out this way.

It's also just kind of calming.

Did you write this?

Uh, I'm just noodling.

Is there a word in Polish for noodling?

- Um, yeah. - It's.

It's...

- Oh, I'm not done with that. - Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's okay. It's okay.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- See you later. - See ya.

Oh, fuck.

- Housekeeping. - Hello.

I was wondering if I could have a broom.

Great, thank you.

Damn, that was fast.

I'm so sorry. I'm such a klutz.

Um, so...

Is your family still in Poland?

No.

Do you miss it?

There's nothing for me there.

Ty!

- John. - How are ya?

Not too bad.

Ty... What is Ty short for?

Ty is short for Ty.

Got it.

You know I could've brought this to you, right?

Yes, but I wanted to have the bartender-patron experience.

Across the bar, I tell you all my troubles and, uh,

and you listen.

I miss that.

Well, here you go.

Oh!

- Okay. - I'm sorry, man.

I did not know that was gonna happen.

Ah, thought you wanted the full bar experience.

Uh, yeah! Sorry about that, I, uh...

I haven't been to the Old West lately.

You know, man, actually, that was our last beer, too,

but I can give you a bourbon or...

Bourbon on the rocks. That's what I want anyway.

All right.

Mm-hm!

You know, I bet this bar is just usually so well polished,

though, that you could actually just

perfectly execute the slide.

Well, you know, you gotta do the best with what you got.

That's right. Cheers, sir, thank you.

Yeah, you're welcome. Cheers, sir.

My wife is upstairs having one of her 45-minute,

90-minute showers.

Right, right.

Well, you know, time doesn't seem to matter anymore, so,

might as well make the best of it.

That's true.

Nobody's doing anything right now.

Nobody's got a job.

I don't have a job to get back to, so...

What were you doing before all this?

Uh...

Just kinda moving money around from one place to the other.

Very boring. Very boring to talk about.

You would be bored if I tried explaining it to you.

Well, I mean, come on.

Got all the time in the world. I'm a pretty bright guy.

Oh, you're definitely bright. I just...

You know what, I would be bored,

if tried explaining it to you, I think.

But you know, it was time to move on.

Hm.

You know what it's like.

Well, actually, I've been here for 15 years.

- You've been here 15 years? - Yeah.

Congrats, nice work. Good for you.

Thanks, man.

I have never been anywhere 15 years.

I get restless, Ty.

- Oh. - You know?

Well, you know, if you put a little hard work in

and some dedication, you might find it fulfilling.

That's not, it's... I work hard, I have discipline.

It's just I, uh... I just get restless, that's all.

Yeah, well, I started as a bellman but now I'm a-

- A bartender. Yeah, I know, that's great.

The General Manager.

And I worked hard to get here.

Uh-huh.

Thank you for the drink, Ty.

That's not that hard.

Oh!

Did you see that?

- Mm-hm. - You didn't see it?

- Okay, so it was a strike. - I saw it.

- It was a strike. - Well done.

- Okay. - It was a strike, you know.

- Oh! Hold on. - Most people, you know-

- Hello? - Watch the person that's-

- Hi! No, it's so nice to hear from you.

When they're having a game with them.

- They tend to watch them. - Of course.

No, that's amazing.

Mm-hm?

Great.

Okay.

Um, why don't you just send me the details,

and I'll have a look through them?

Okay.

Thank you so much.

Baby.

So you're not playing anymore, so this is my ball now.

- Guess what! - What!

That was Bellingham.

- Who's he? - Bellingham Industries.

Bellingham Industries?

You mean like the hand drier people?

They do lots of other stuff.

Oh, okay.

They do toasters, coffee machines.

You love their coffee machines.

Toasters?

Do the toasters blow air back up in your face

when you're trying to dry your bread?

This is a big deal for me. Can you just be happy?

I am so happy for you.

You're getting 500 bucks to take a picture of a toaster.

I think it's great.

Oh, it's like a $20,000 picture.

Wait, what?

What's that?

They're gonna give me $20,000.

For one picture?

I'm a big deal! Why are you surprised by this?

People like me, John.

I know they like you. I like you too.

That's great, um, that's awesome.

Well, I'm glad to hear it.

Oh!

No!

So what'd you get?

Come on!

Did you break the machine?

No, I didn't break the machine.

But I will fix the machine.

- I'm telling Ty. - Don't tell Ty.

Dear Ty.

You don't hae Ty's number, you're full of shit!

It's vintage.

It breaks down all the time.

Uh-huh.

No!

- No, no! - Four minutes straight.

You would die if that happened!

It happened.

It wasn't me it happened to, it happened to some-

- Oh, sure. A friend of yours.

Who looked a lot like me.

- That's disgusting. - Sorry.

It happened.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Hey, hey, hey.

Let's count down from 10.

Come on, 10.

Hey.

Ten.

Nine.

I...

Seven.

Six.

Five.

I'm here.

Four.

- And three. - Three.

- Two. - Two.

Breathe.

And one.

One.

Okay?

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Did you take your meds today

or do you have any left?

I don't...

I don't wanna take them anymore.

You have to take them.

Hey, you have to-

- Fuck off!

We don't know how this is all gonna end,

but I'm here for you, okay?

I'm here for you right now.

That counts for something, right?

What's out there is scarier than what's in here.

Just take a deep breath.

We're gonna be out of here before we know it.

Hey.

Hey, sleepy head.

Starting with squats?

Uh...

Actually, I'm almost done.

What do you mean?

I mean I'm finished. Sorry.

I thought you wanted... Weren't we gonna do this together?

I figured you didn't want to.

Okay.

- Well, tomorrow! - Yep.

Woo!

All right.

Ice machine's broken.

Oh, hi.

Hey.

Look what I got.

Ah.

Productive day.

It was, really. Actually, very.

- Do you want one? - An apple?

A drink.

Um, no, I'm good.

It's a little early for me, but you go for it.

Oh, I did.

I know.

Don't sulk!

I'm not sulking.

Oh!

Sputnik.

- Hey, John. - Hm?

Do you think that sometime soon you're gonna,

I don't know, start looking for a job or something?

Hm. Well, I was thinking about that today, actually.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Never?

Came to mind.

What do you mean?

No one's working. There's no jobs to be had anyway, so-

- That's not true, John. People are working.

I'm working. I work every day.

Well, I mean, you post online,

and then you get an income from that.

That's a different way from-

- Oh, right, because my job isn't a real job.

I'm not saying it's not working, it's different from

what you're talking about with regards to my kind of work.

Right because yours is a real job and mine isn't.

I didn't say it was real.

No, you don't have to say it. You're insinuating it.

No, look, it's not real.

My job is no more real than yours.

My job takes a lot of work.

I have to build relationships, I have strategies!

I have to look at analytics, I have to, you know,

reach out to sponsors and get package...

What isn't real about that to you?

I'm not shitting on it, I'm telling you...

This is gonna blow your fuckin' mind.

Here's what I actually wanna do.

Okay.

- Are you ready? - Yeah!

Stand up for this.

I am gonna take a video of myself playing guitar,

playing my songs, and I'm gonna post that online

and we will be a power-influencing couple.

Oh, okay, cool, so you're just gonna play your guitar

and then when you get bored of that and you leave me,

you're gonna do what, go travel?

But like, what's next, John?

Who fucking cares!

- I don't know. - I care!

You have no motivation, you have no ambition.

It's just like so boring living with you!

You just wake up and just exist.

- I'm boring you? - Yes!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

You've been in those sweatpants

for the last, what, three weeks?

You haven't shaved off this fucking mustache!

What is your problem with the mustache?

- I hate it! - It's an homage!

To what?

It's stupid!

Here's the thing.

I don't understand why you give a shit

what I do on a day-to-day basis when you know

that you're gonna be taken care of, no matter what.

That's my fucking job is taking care of you, emotionally,

and digging you out of your fuckin' sad hole

that you bury yourself in and then you come out,

because I took care of you that entire time,

and then you get to take a video and pretend to be

little princess fuckin' happy pants.

So you can lie to them and fuckin' prostitute yourself

for like 600 bucks here and 700 bucks here,

and pretend to be the happy-go-lucky little

queen of fuckin' curated narcissism!

But, uh, I know who you really are. Yep, see?

You're the sad girl who goes and stares out of windows.

Am I gonna have to dig you out of your little hole now?

It looks familiar.

I'm going to bed.

Isn't it a little early for that?

Okay.

Housekeeping!

Hey, guys. Happy Gratitude Tuesday.

We've spent our day here, of course,

at the pool and John, he's...

What was that?

Twice a day.

Three times if it's windy.

It used to drive me mad!

I would scrub and scrub and scrub.

But the dust would always return.

Transported by some sinister gale.

At what moment is it that clean becomes dirty?

Nothing's ever really dirty, if you think about it.

I mean, the clean is still there,

it's just underneath it all.

The dirt just covers it.

People are the opposite.

People have the dirt on the inside.

Try to cover it up when they're clean.

Um, is this your room?

You think I sleep on the floor? I'm not an animal.

No, sorry, I didn't mean that. I just meant-

- No, no, no! I get it, I'm the creepy maid.

I quietly roam the halls, clean the sheets,

can't cook to save my life.

I know what you say about me.

But the reason why I'm here is to make you feel like guests,

to take care of you, to serve you,

and most importantly, to help get you out of your sad hole.

- So just because I keep- - What did you just say?

You heard me.

Have you been watching us?

Who's been watching who, Sara?

What the fuck?

Sorry, can I have that?

Okay, thanks.

So why are you sleeping here?

Um...

My wife is, uh, mad at me. I've been kind of an asshole.

I should probably get dressed.

Hey, guys. Happy Gratitude Tuesday.

We spent the day here, of course,

and John, well, he's been, um, he's been good!

He's been great, we've been great.

Fuck.

This is the honeymoon from hell.

And I'm pretty much stuck here

because John's a piece of shit and we won't let me leave

and now I'm talking to the phone like...

Fuck this.

600 bucks here and 700 bucks here

and pretend to be the happy-go-lucky little

queen of fucking curated narcissism!

Am I gonna have to dig you out of your little hole now?

It looks familiar.

Do you wanna talk about it?

It's okay.

I don't know what I was trying to do there, Ty.

I'm really sorry.

You don't have to apologize.

Sometimes we all need a little break.

God.

A little while ago...

I...

Things weren't going very well for me.

And, um...

John was really there for me when nobody else was.

You know? He...

He helped me through a really, really rough time.

And now I feel like he's falling apart and,

and I don't know what to do.

And...

Do you ever feel like you could just

wish that you could turn back time?

Like a do-over?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

All the time.

You know, my grandmother used to say this thing to me.

"In this moment, you have everything you need.

And life is just a serious of moments.

You can't go back, you can't stay where you are.

You have to just move forward."

- Can I tell you a secret? - Of course.

- You can't judge me. - No judgements here.

Sometimes I really don't like John.

Can I tell you a secret?

Sometimes I don't like him, either.

That bed's really uncomfortable.

Well, I guess you could come back, then.

Really?

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I missed you.

I missed you.

Did you get your workout in?

Mm-hm.

Did you wanna join me?

No.

Hey.

I don't want Adela coming in here anymore.

Why?

I saw her do something really weird.

What?

In the kitchen.

Why were you in the kitchen?

I was stealing food.

You were? Stealing food?

Yeah.

Well, it was your idea.

That was my idea like a month ago.

Well, anyway, she was in the kitchen,

and she was staring at the phone.

Right.

- And then the phone rang. - Mm-hm.

And she answered it.

Okay? Right.

Doesn't sound that weird to me.

And then with her cart, she just ran past me.

Like shot past me.

I mean, that just sounds like none of our business?

It was four o'clock in the morning.

Still?

- It's really strange. - Okay, it's...

Maybe she's really strange.

Look, if she doesn't come in here,

how is this place gonna get cleaned?

We could do it.

I am not cleaning a suite on my vacation.

This is not a vacation, it's a pandemic!

All right, we're trying to make the best of it, right?

Right.

Look, I think that you have a tendency,

when you get restless or bored,

to create dramas and adventures for yourself

and I think it would be better if you just relaxed.

Mm-hm.

If you could just enjoy yourself?

What can I do? How can I help you?

John, why don't you just stay here and do nothing,

because that's what you're good at,

and I'll just see you later.

Where are you goin'?

To harass the staff.

What did you want to happen?

I mean, what did you think was gonna happen?

I saw what was happenin'.

I know what you're doin' and this has gone too far!

You don't even know him.

What does it matter if I know him?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on?

Look, John, there's a lot you don't know,

and I don't have time to explain it to you.

Okay, look, I'm sure it's none of my business,

but maybe you should take a minute and cool off.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.

- Thank you so much. - Okay.

I think I may have just locked myself out of my room.

Oh. Well, I can help you with that.

Thanks.

No, no, no, no, no.

John, John, John.

Hey.

Come on, come on.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Let's go, let's go. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.

Okay, close. Close, close, fucking close, close!

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

Fucking come on!

One.

Help me! Help me, please!

Help!

- What's wrong? - John's dead!

John's dead, he's dead. He's dead!

What's going on?

Oh! Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Mr. Burke.

Hey.

- What's the matter? - I just...

What happened to you?

I was napping.

What is she doing here?

- What are you doing here? - I don't know.

I'm cleaning.

Oh, really? She's cleaning.

Uh, we need some privacy, thanks.

Oh, yeah. Of course.

I'm glad you're okay.

Are you okay?

Hey, guys, so we just wanted to stop by and check on you.

Make sure you're okay and offer you this,

compliments of the house.

Oh, thank you.

Um, well...

There's no way we're gonna finish this all by ourselves, so-

- No, no. This is for you, this is for you guys to enjoy.

- We really should be going. - No, please.

Great.

Okay.

Okay.

Great.

Great.

Look, guys, I'm...

I'm really sorry about before.

You know, sometimes, what my eyes see

and what my mind perceives

are two completely different things.

I think that this time I just let my imagination

run away with it, so I'm really sorry.

It's okay.

Um, I'm gonna go get the wine.

Okay.

Think we're all under a lot of stress

for pretty obvious, understandable reasons, but,

it's hard not to be when you're reading the news.

Thank you.

I was just reading today about...

Haven't you heard about the thing with the fingernails where

apparently fingernails can just fall off?

That's a new symptom, they could just snap

and they could fly across the room.

Are you serious?

That and there was another one, too. It was, um...

Just like extreme annoyance with people

that you're living with, that's another one.

Oh, that's funny. That's a good joke.

No, it was a bad joke.

Well, no, no. It was a good joke.

Tell me another.

I'm just kept away from my family, but you got jokes.

Yeah, I'm sorry. That was inconsiderate.

How is your family?

I'm sorry. How is my family?

Do you care how my family is, really? Honestly, truly?

How is my family?

Oh, that's funny.

You know what? I'm sorry, let's start again.

Hey, how is the cheese?

- It's good. - It's good? Okay.

Hm.

Sorry Ty, I was just trying to make friendly conversation.

I know, I just don't understand why,

'cause we're not friends, you know?

We're not boys, we're not bros.

I'm working here, in service of you.

I'm actually working here trying to protect you,

but your head is so far up your ass,

you don't even know what old girl's up to.

But I was trying to warn you, you see,

but now I'm just the angry black man,

yelling in the hotel room!

Do you need any help over there?

Yeah, no, no. She needs some help.

She need all the help she can get.

Ain't that right? You need major help.

You know what? I don't care.

Do whatever you want to. Whatever you wanna do.

You wanna eat him? You wanna bleed him like a pony?

Or whatever the fuck you do in that room?

Go ahead, be my guest.

Look, I'm sorry, I just, I...

I can't go to jail, I have a family.

I have a wife.

I have responsibilities.

And now look at me.

Trying to protect you, trying to save your ass.

Who's gonna protect me?

Who's gonna save me?

I think you should go now?

Oh, it's time to go? You're ready to go now?

You're done with all of this?

Yeah, I think it's time to go. We should go, let's go.

Come on, let's go.

Well, eat the fucking cheese!

Okay.

Jesus Christ!

God damn it!

Ty, are you okay?

Shit.

Fuck!

Shit!

Here, put...

Sorry, sorry!

- Here, stay with him. - Where are you going?

Call an ambulance, I'm gonna go get her.

- And lock the door behind you. - No, please don't leave me!

Lock the door.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no.

Hey!

Adela!

She's leading him down there.

She's gonna kill him.

You've gotta stop him.

Where?

The basement.

You gotta get your husband,

and you gotta get outta here.

Go.

Go.

I'm sorry.

I'll be okay.

I needed the money, so I played along, but now,

I realize I'm not in control.

Maybe I never was.

Am I a bad person?

No, Adela, you're not a bad person.

I think you just need a little help.

You wanna come out?

No, John. I think you need help.

What do I need help with?

Come to me.

Adela, where are you?

John.

Why don't you stay?

Look, I'm not gonna hurt you, okay?

No one's gonna hurt you, we just wanna help.

Adela.

Damn it!

Adela.

All that I have is yours.

Let your body rest and slip away.

Become nothing so your mind can travel.

I'll hear for you.

Your eyes go blank.

I'll see for you.

Your hands are almost there.

I'll grasp it for you.

I'll bleed for you.

Why?

She hates when our guests check out.

There's nothing more noble than dedicating your life

to serving another.

You are my guest now.

And I am here to serve you.

Do you like it?

I made it for you.

He didn't resist me.

He needed me.

And so do you.

Do you like the way I cut you?

Fuck. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck.

Sorry. I'm sorry, baby.

Messy boy.

Eat up, sweetie.

Sara?

Would you like to stay as well?

He was the perfect guest.

He grew to love me.

Just like John will.

And just like you will.

There is nothing else you need to know.

Help us!

Please!

Quiet down.

No.

Peekaboo, bitch.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Hey, hey.

I'm sorry.

You're okay, just focus on me.

Ten, nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Help!

Help me!

Help!

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull