Original subtitles

LOVE IS IN THE AIR

Do you work for Niklas Ravn's band? - No, I'm stealing his amplifier.

What do you think? - I want to give him a CD of my songs.

Can you help me? - Give it to him yourself.

If you help me, I'm sure I can give you a hand with something.

Not on the mouth. I'm a diabetic.

Really? - Come.

Call Niklas. Call him!

Get my insulin. Hurry!

When is your next injection? - In a few hours.

I'll give this back when I've talked to Niklas. Damn, I have to go.

Lina! Lina! Don't do this! Lina!

Come back, Lina!

Daniel, you big wimp. This is for you.

Oh, Lina ...

Oh, Lina ...

It's occupied!

Daniel! Open up!

Did you spank the monkey? - No, no... I just had to piss.

Light my dick-cigar.

Hi. - What's up, honey?

Hi, sweetie pie.

Lina, help me. - Forget it!

Four cheers for the best friend in the whole universe -

the Milky Way and outer space.

Today is Therese's birthday hip, hip, hooray!

She is still a virgin hip, hip, hooray!

But tonight she'll find a guy with a huge boner

Who'll take her virginity hip, hip, hooray!

These are for you, my lovely princess.

They're beautiful.

Thank you.

Here.

No thanks. I've quit. - Why?

Because my mom died last Sunday. - Oh no.

Wasn't she getting chemo?

I'm off. - Already?

I'm going to hear Niklas' band. - Is this going to make you famous?

Lina's greatest tits ... I mean hits. - Where the hell did you get that?

Stefan! - Let's hear one of your masterpieces.

Do you think my song stinks too? - No. It'll be a smash hit.

Forget Stefan. He doesn't understand us artists.

You're sweet.

Niklas will be on in a minute. Hurry up!

But you don't like his band. - He might produce my CD.

We're meeting after the concert, and I'll make him fall in love with me.

It'll boost my career, if he's my lover.

Don't you think so?

What the hell are you doing? - We're in a hurry, right?

Help! Daniel, you fucking idiot!

Help! Daniel!

Stop!

You idiot!

Help!

Help!

Dance, bitch. - Only gay people dance.

I bet Niklas is a great dancer. - Then why is he sitting down?

Probably because he's shitting himself playing his shitty music!

We're going to have sex tonight. - Don't! He's fucked tons of groupies.

He probably has AIDS, gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis.

And cancer in his dick.

Child molester! Asshole drummer!

Shut the fuck up!

Fucking bastard.

Stay away from Lina!

Dirty old pervert! - You little shit!

No ... stop.

Don't. - Why not?

I just can't.

Hey, Danny boy. I'm making out with a chick.

Is she hot? - Huge tits. She's a model.

Where are you? - In the emergency room.

Niklas Ravn, we want you

Niklas Ravn, you're so fine

Niklas Ravn, you're hot stuff

Niklas Ravn, we can't get enough

Niklas Ravn, don't stop

Niklas Ravn, we want you

Calm down, ladies. It's just me.

Benny with the big ...

When is Niklas coming? - I need my insulin.

You'll get it. Where is Niklas? - He's doing interviews.

I'm not going to wait here like some whore. I'm an artist!

Shut the fuck up!

Lina, I need my insulin. - And I need a record deal.

Call me when Niklas is ready, and you'll get your damn insulin.

What's up, snotnose? - Fishface!

Did Lina beat you up? - No, I beat up Niklas.

He tried to rape Lina backstage. - You beat up a celebrity? Sweet!

Now Lina will give you a blowjob. - No, she thinks I'm stupid.

You're too desperate, that's your problem.

I'll show you how to get chicks to chase you.

Do you want it in the ass? - No, get on my back.

You won't get any pussy sitting in that retarded chair.

You have to pick out a chick. That's the secret.

Those two over there are pretty, but brain-dead.

The lights are on, but nobody's home. So you know which strategy to use.

Which strategy is that? - Nonchalant charm.

Watch this.

Want to dance, ladies?

Who's the man?!

Hi, it's Lina with the sweet smile. - Aren't you meeting Niklas?

They wouldn't let me in because you're such a dickhead.

His roadie will call me later. You want to get together?

You have one new message.

It's Mom. Why won't you play football anymore? Dad is furious.

Let's get some twin pussy! - No, I have to go talk to my dad.

He's depressed because of my mom.

See you later.

So ... are you coming home with us? - No, I don't fuck twins.

I'm done.

It can be the cover of your CD. - But I look like a porn star!

Are you stupid or what? All good singers have small tits.

But you need big lungs to sing. - Maybe it'll be good for my image.

And guys can jerk off to the cover of your CD.

Brilliant!

Give me your drawing. - Never sing that song for anybody.

It's the best thing I ever wrote. - But then it's not mine.

That's exactly why girls don't like you. You think too much!

I do not! Sometimes I'm brain-dead. I beat up Niklas.

No, you cried like a girl. - Fuck you!

I can jerk off here if you want. - That's disgusting!

Then tell me what to do. - Steal that car. Go on!

Damn Swedish car. - The Beetle has thinner windows.

Piece of Nazi crap. - Move. I'll do it. There!

Are you sure you're up for this? - Are you scared?

No, but you seem to be. - Shut up!

I'm more of a man than Niklas. Are you coming?

Look. I'm a star, motherfucker!

It's a dick sausage. - The same size as mine.

In your dreams. This is more like it. - That's when it's hard.

Say hi to my banana dick.

Come close to me

Look me in the eyes

Smile at me

Feel me near

Hold me

Before the night is over.

Touch me

Before morning comes.

Kiss me.

For ever and ever.

You and I

Belong together.

Kiss me. Please kiss me.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm not in love with you, and I never will be!

Niklas is the only one I want.

Damn, it stinks in here. - It's because you're full of shit.

You farted!

Did you fart in the car with her? - I'm such an idiot!

Now Lina hates me even more.

You know how to tell if your girlfriend really loves you?

If you fart in her face, and she still wants to be with you -

then it's true love. And if she farts in your face -

and you still love her, then you know she's the one.

I'll never find a girl like that.

He gets a giant hard-on whenever he sees a girl

He uses every pick-up line to get her on cloud nine

But every line that he picks is just a voice from his dick

"Blow my mind tonight, baby" won't score any lady

'Go away' says the girl of his dreams

'You're disgusting'

'and you turn me off'

So he has to spank his monkey 'cos he can't get any pussy!

No, he can't get any pussy!

Could you get Benny for me? - He left. I don't know where.

Can I go to the after-party with you? - Some other time.

I'm Niklas' cousin. Niklas, come here!

Damn, she's easy.

Niklas? Please let me in.

Let me in! That girl you're kissing has syphilis, gonorrhea and AIDS.

Don't do it! Please, Niklas! Niklas!

I've figured out a way to give myself a blowjob. It's a penis extension.

It makes your dick 10 cm longer. I just need another 5 cm to do it.

Then I can suck my own dick.

I'm ready.

I get half a centimeter closer every month.

If I keep this up, I can suck my dick next September.

Then I won't need girls anymore!

Let's go. I'll teach you how to dance. Come on. You want to.

Otherwise Lina will never fuck you.

Really?

Faggots! - Cocksuckers!

Fairies! - Fucking bimbos.

Come on. Bitches don't decide when real men can dance.

Won't Lina have sex with you? - No. And I don't care.

I can only get a hard-on when I'm alone.

Take a pill. You'll have a hard-on for five hours.

Look, a naked woman!

Spit it out! They cost a fortune!

Spit it out, dickhead!

Stop. Look at those boots. - I hate high heels.

Stefan would love them. - Really?

He'd screw your socks off if you wore them.

Stefan!

Here! Run!

Damn, you're hot, hot, hot damn, you're hot

Damn, you're hot, hot, hot damn, you're hot

Will Stefan have sex with me now? - Sure!

He'll get a hard-on the size of the Eiffel Tower. Need a condom?

This is so embarrassing. Lina will never screw me now.

Imagine this is a Harley. Repeat to yourself: I'm a pussy magnet.

It's a Harley for the handicapped. - You look like retards too.

H-h-hi. My name is D-d-d-aniel.

I've never k-k-kissed a g-g-girl.

What are we doing? - Emptying my dad's safe.

So we can get some more nose candy. Damn, you look fine in those heels!

You think so? - I'm getting a hard-on the size of ...

The Eiffel Tower. We know. - Shut up.

I'm a pussy magnet I'm a pussy ...

I'm a pussy magnet I'm a pussy magnet

Fuck! I bet he put it in the bank. - Maybe he hid it in a binder.

Hello, hello. This is your captain speaking.

How about a song?

Lina!

What was that? - The night watchman. Hurry.

No, I know what it is. Come on.

I think I'll write a protest song about the meat industry.

You're a genius. - Yes. "Animals are People too."

High five! Alright.

You know why I can't play football anymore?

Because I'm ewes-less.

That was a good one. - It was baa-d.

Diss, diss, diss. Why are you taking them off?

They're too big. - Let me try them on.

Sexy motherfucker! - I'm the hottest bitch in town, baby.

You were born to be a woman. - Or you've worn your mom's shoes.

Shut up. I'm not a cocksucker.

Stefan doesn't suck cock! Stefan doesn't suck cock!

Heroin is asinine but cocaine is mighty fine!

LSD makes me laugh!

And pot and speed are what we need!

Show Lina the straw you got at the bar.

Let me try it.

May I have this dance? - Yes.

Is that a gun in my pocket? Or am I just happy to see you?

Maybe you want to shoot my gun? - Maybe I do, baby.

Then come home with me. - Okay, darling.

Hi, Benny. Where are you? - At the hotel.

Is Niklas there? Okay, I'm on my way.

Walkin' with my chick gives me such a kick

So please, Therese take away your hand

I wanna see your pretty face, don't you understand?

This way.

Now you can look.

Ta-da!

Come.

You must. Come on now.

Here.

It's the World Cup final. Denmark vs. Brazil. The score is 0-0.

Stefan Larsen is brought in. He has the ball.

He shoots! Goal!

Why is your dad so mad at you? Why does he care if you play football?

Do you want to hear a secret?

There's nothing wrong with my knee.

If my dad knew the real reason why I won't play, he'd kill me.

Why don't you play football anymore?

Look, Stefan's got a boner. Nasty faggot.

Faggot! Faggot! Faggot!

Faggot! Faggot!

Are you gay?

You aren't, are you?

What if I were?

You're not.

No way. - Way.

You must take my virginity tonight. - I can't.

You have to.

You have to!

You're my best friend.

For a brief moment

I was allowed to hope

For the things that might happen

Before the night is over

For a brief moment

We were allowed to hope

For the things that might happen

Before life is over

Excuse me. This is Lina. - Hi.

I recorded some demos. - Cool.

I want you to produce my CD. - I'll listen to it later.

Or we could go to your room now ... - And listen to it in stereo! Sit down.

Do you want a drink? - Please.

Here. - Thank you.

Aren't you having one? - No, I have a stomach ache.

I'll take care of you. I'm experienced in that area.

Why did you come to me? - You're a great producer.

Your sound is perfect for my songs.

You're sweet. Thanks.

That makes me so happy.

Christ, it's that psycho. He's looking at you.

No, I don't hang out with losers. - I want to talk to him.

Didn't you attack me? - Eh ... Maybe.

Thanks! It's the wildest thing that's happened to me in ten years.

This guy is the coolest dude I've ever met.

Luna, come here. - My name is Lina!

I hate you! - So what if he finds me interesting?

I was going to seduce him. - You act like a whore too.

All I have is my pussy and my music. - But you're not like that.

Wake up!

I've used sex to get what I want since I was 13.

I've screwed 53 guys.

And I've screwed 153 girls, homos and transvestites.

You think I'm lying? Allan, Christian, David, Erik, Frank!

Wait, Daniel. Daniel!

Don't walk away when I'm talking about my lovers.

Got that? - I'm sorry.

You're the one that I want.

You're sweet.

Maybe you'll be my lover someday.

Do you think so?

I'm cold. - Let's go to my place and get warm.

If you know what I mean...

Your mom was beautiful. - Yes. Very.

When's the funeral? - Tomorrow. But I'm not going.

Why not? - I want to punish my dad.

He was really mean to Mom.

He never visited her in the hospital.

In the end, she just gave up.

Come here.

Are you looking for something? Are you?

Not anymore.

Daniel, what are you doing?

What the hell are you doing?

Lina, my dick is about to explode. - Stop it.

Otherwise I'll leave.

Jerk.

I'm sorry.

You look at me and my heart is in flames

I've never met anyone as beautiful as you

You're everything I've dreamed of

The look in your eyes

lights up my desire

You and I could easily get burnt

My heart is in flames

But don't put out the fire.

My head is spinning when you look at me

I'm falling head over heels in love with you

You're so beautiful, you're the one I want

The look in your eyes is hotter than any sun

Why is it so hot? What the hell is it?

What? - My back is on fire.

I mean it! What's going on? You have a huge boner.

Your dick burned me.

Down, boy! You should screw her, not burn her.

Who are you talking to? - The hose.

What hose? - The water hose.

It's exploding.

What are you doing? - Leaving.

But we're going to have sex. - In your dreams.

You can't leave now. It's the middle of the night.

You'll get raped.

You might as well let me screw you. - Stop begging!

Lina, I'll die if you leave.

Stay!

Die, Niklas, die!

What's up, snotnose? - Fishface. Find a girl for me.

The pill stops working in an hour. My dick is hard as a rock.

Try Therese. She's desperate.

Hotel Vista. - Room 509. A water pipe broke.

Please hurry.

Hi. - Who are you?

I want to talk to Niklas. I gave him my CD.

Did you listen to this girl's CD? - No.

Come in. Honestly, he'll probably never listen to it.

He's the world's laziest bastard!

Sing a song. He can't escape. - Camilla, for Christ's sake.

Tell her to leave. My stomach really hurts.

Open up, so you can hear her. Some people write their own songs.

But I'm sick! - But not too sick to listen.

Hi. - Hello.

Get her out of here! I hate her crappy music.

What are you doing? Stop it! No! No!

Lina, don't do it!

May I have this dance? - Si, señor.

Are you still a virgin?

Yes.

So am I. - Are you really?

Yes, Lina won't have sex with me.

Stefan won't have sex with me either.

It sucks. - Yes, it does.

I meant being a virgin. - Yes, that's what I meant too.

Do you want to go home with me?

Yes.

But I don't have handcuffs. And you're not getting anal sex.

Anal sex? I'm not gay.

I only watch porn with women in it.

Prove it.

Everything falls silent Suddenly I'm all alone

I'm lost in the darkness

My heart is broken into pieces

Can't we start over?

Can't our dreams come true?

We had so many good times

But now they're just memories

Goodbye

I'll never see you again

Never see you again

I'll never ever see you again

Goodbye

Two hearts are on fire

A boy and a girl are burning with desire

He asks for her hand

She says no But it's easy to see

These two hearts are on fire

They have fun dancing all night long

Then they stop something special is happening

They look at each other and they feel it too

Their young hearts are exploding with desire

Ready for liftoff?

On one condition. - What's that?

Go to your mother's funeral. - Not if my dad's there.

What was her favorite color? - Yellow.

Wear yellow for the funeral.

Then your dad will know you're only there for your mother's sake.

Do you promise?

Otherwise I won't have sex with you.

Okay.

Okay. I promise.

Now I'm ready for liftoff. Where are we going?

To paradise.

You'll feel a little sting. - Okay.

Does it hurt? - No, it's great!

Your dick is small. - No, it isn't.

It's just your hole that's too big!

Wow. That was amazing.

Yes. Unbelievable.

I hope you didn't mind ... - No, it was fine.

Vaginal farts are perfectly normal.

They're not real farts. They hardly smell.

You don't think so?

I have to go to the bathroom.

Daniel, you big wimp. This is for you.

How about some champagne? We're not virgins anymore.

Yeah ... Great idea.

Baby, let me pop it for you let me pop it for you!

Boing, boing, so fantastic I can hardly take it!

Earth to earth.

Ashes to ashes.

Dust to dust.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever and ever.

Amen.

Dad?

What's up, Stefan?

There's something I want to tell you.

Okay, but hurry up. I have to go to work.

The thing is ...

I'm a homosexual.

I'm a fag.

I mean I'm gay. Gay.

I always have been. - But you bring girls home constantly.

I can only have sex with them if I take a pill. That's why I gave up football.

I got an erection in the showers.

Have you had a man's penis in your mouth?

Not yet, but it's all I dream about.

I'm in love with Michael Laudrup. I think about him when I masturbate.

That's sick. And Michael Laudrup of all people!

Easy now. It's okay to be a bit gay. - I'm not 'a bit gay'.

I'm 100% homo. - You're not gay. You're my son!

It's a phase that boys go through.

When I was a teenager, I thought a man's penis was more arousing ...

Stop! I don't want to hear about it.

Can't we help your mother out a little?

Let's say your bisexual.

Dad, I'm gay. And that's that.

Come here.

I'm proud of you, son.

It takes balls to admit that you're a faggot. You're a real man.

Thanks, Dad. - You're welcome.

Hi. - What are you doing here?

I was waiting for you to come home.

Why?

Do you know what I've realized?

That I'm in love with you.

I'm sorry I've been such an idiot.

Really?

You are

The man of my dreams

You are

the best thing I've ever seen

You are

the one that makes my life worth living

My heart is all yours now

Please take care of it

'Cause I'm defenseless

This is what love is like

My heart is all yours now

Please take good care of it

'Cause I'm defenseless

What are you doing? - Testing your love.

Are you still in love with me?

Yes. Even more than ever.

Are you still in love with me?

Yes!

You're the one

Who brought me to my knees

You're the one

Who finally made me see

What a miracle you are

You're the one who makes me happy

Love is in the air

You drive me crazy

Can't you see?

You mean so much to me

Love is in the air

Be mine

Hold me tight

Until the end of time

Love is in the air

Subtitles: Dansk Video Tekst