All language subtitles for Mad About You S06E09 The Conversation.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.MLLCRK

♪ Tell me why

♪ I love you like I do

♪ Tell me who

♪ Can stop my
heart as much as you

♪ Let's take each other's hand

♪ As we jump into

♪ The final frontier ♪

So this is it?

This is it.

Really?

Honey, Mabel has to learn
to go to sleep on her own

without us there rocking
her, holding her and stuff.

But, already? Does she
have to do it already?

Well, we can wait
until she's a teenager,

but, it's gonna be much
tougher on our backs.

Okay. All right.

All right, so what happens now?

So now we wait and
see if she falls asleep,

and if she does, then
that's great, end of story.

And if she doesn't?

And if she doesn't, then we
wait till the end of the first interval.

Okay. How long
is the first interval?

Five Minutes.

Okay. And then what?

And then one of us can go
in and comfort her verbally.

Okay.

But, we can... we can
pick her up, though, right?

Verbally.

No, we... yeah, no.
We comfort her verbally,

But, we can pat
her a little bit...

Honey. Oh, okay, just verbally.

What, just one of us? One of us.

What if the other one is
like hanging way back...

Okay... Okay, just
one of us. One is good.

Which one?

Whichever we want.

That's not really an answer.

You know what?
You. There you go.

You may go in.

Okay. Okay, good.

And I'll go in after
the second interval.

Wait a second. Wait a second.

If she's still crying after we go
in, we gotta do a second interval?

Yep.

How long is that? Ten minutes.

Ah. Is there a third interval?

Fifteen minutes.

How many intervals
do they give you?

As many as we need,

until she falls asleep
or until morning comes,

in which case, we get her
dressed and start the day.

Yeah. Who's gonna
get us dressed?

Honey, I think this is
good for her. I really do.

Can't see how.

In the long run.

I don't see the long run.

She needs to learn
how to comfort herself.

Yeah, I know. Of
course she does.

Why? Why does she?

Otherwise, what's she
gonna do when she's three,

and some brat
steals her tricycle,

or she's 15 and some guy

says he likes her,
but, as a friend?

I don't know.

Or, when she's a
42-year-old executive,

and she has some great idea

and somebody else steals all the
credit, what's she gonna do then?

Cry.

Yes, but, when
she's done crying?

Jump on daddy's tummy.

Okay, you just, like, don't
want to grasp this, do you?

No, I do. I do.

Did Fran and Mark do this?

No, they ran in there
every 5 seconds.

Now Ryan's, like, 14.

He's eating the furniture.

I just...

I mean, to me, I think we should be
sending her the exact opposite message,

which is that if
something goes wrong,

she can come to us.

I mean, to me, that... that's
the purpose that parents serve.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, that and, you know, later,

we'll embarrass her
in front of her friends.

I explained to you exactly
what was going to happen.

I told you the whole
theory. You said okay.

No, I didn't say okay. I said...

Okay.

I see.

I mean, if it were up to me, I would
go in right now and just pick her up.

Well, it's up to you.

What do you mean?

It is. I'm not gonna do this if
you don't feel right about it.

Please don't make it up to me.

It's one night of bad

for, you know, I think,
a lifetime of good.

And you really believe
that in your guts?

With all my guts.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

How much time
in the first interval?

Uh, 30 seconds.

Hey, that wasn't so bad.

See? Okay.

Clearly it goes a lot
faster if you talk. Yeah.

Which... besides which, you know,
you and I, we haven't talked for ages.

That's true. Just the two of us.

Yeah, so this'll be good
for everybody. Yeah.

We'll have a nice
little talk. Yeah.

How much time? Time's up.

Nice talking to you. You, too.

How long do I have?

One minute. Okay.

And you have to leave
before she falls asleep.

Okay, now you're just
making it up, aren't you?

No, no, no. Go in.

I have... otherwise we
have to start all over.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Hi, hi, hi. Okay.

Hi, hi.

Hi, sweet girl. We love you.

We love you very much.

Listen, the only
reason we're outside

is that a sadistic man from Columbia
University said we have to be.

Yes, he's nuts. He's nuts.

But, we're right here.
We are right here...

Just over there.

We're here over there, okay?

There. Okay. Okay. That's
it, see? Nothing to it. Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

Okay, don't fall asleep
until I get out of the room,

because I'll be in big
trouble with mommy.

That was great.

Yeah? 'Cause I had
nothing prepared.

It was...

It was very, very sweet.

Did it work, though?

I bet it did.

Although, you never know.

- Oh, man.
- It's all right.

All right, set the clock.

- Honey, I'm...
- All right.

- What is it,
10 minutes now?
- Yep.

What do we do for 10 minutes,

watch TV or, something?

Hey! There's that
Knicks-Celtic game on.

Where's the remote, by the way?

I have not been able to find
the remote since we cleaned.

That remote just disappeared
off the face of the... what?

Gonna watch a basketball game?

On mute, I'm saying.

Okay.

What?

No, no, no. It's fine.

If my child is gonna
go through this,

I'm going through it
right along with her.

Seriously?

I'm not leaving this doorway.

To me, it's the least I
can do if my daughter

is going to go through
the most difficult night

of her young,
until-now-innocent life,

but, you go ahead.

Why don't I sit down?

- If you think
you should.
- Yeah.

- How much time now?
- 8 Minutes, 15 seconds.

Great.

I won 500 pounds
of rigatoni today.

I beg your pardon?

At D'agostino's.

They were doing this
sort of promotional thing.

They gave their 500th
customer of the day, me,

500 pounds of rigatoni.

It's coming next week.

500 pounds of rigatoni's
coming next week?

Yeah.

- Here?
- Yeah.

Did you tell them you
live in an apartment?

Uh-huh.

That's... how much
rigatoni is that?

I don't know. It seemed
ungracious to ask.

What are we gonna do
with 500 pounds of rigatoni?

We'll have a dinner.

For who, the 3 tenors?

How much time now?

Mm, six minutes.

I'm shrinking, you know.

I don't know what
you're saying to me.

You remember last
Wednesday I had that physical?

- Yes.
- Okay.

I'm half an inch shorter
than I was last year.

I was 5'11 ". I'm now 5'10 1/2".

I'm... I'm shrinking.

Really? Heh.

- Why would you
laugh at that?
- I'm sorry.

I'm shrinking! Half
an inch in one year.

I understand.

In 20 years, I'll
be like this tall.

Sweetie.

You know, I'll be able
to sleep in your pocket.

I'm sure there was
just some mistake.

No, no mistake. He
measured me 4 times.

He couldn't believe it himself.

He called everybody in.

He said, "Hey, everybody
look at the shrinking guy."

Is there something
wrong with you?

No. That's what I thought. No.

Perfect health. I'm
in perfect health.

Cholesterol... I have the
cholesterol of a fasting monk.

Blood pressure was... was, uh,
something good over something good.

I'm telling you, I'm perfect.

I'm just... I'm
shrinking is all.

So, okay.

How much time now?

Three and a half minutes.

Okay, you know what?
We gotta go in there.

- No, honey.
- This is stupid.

This is really...
this is so bad.

Paul, no, don't. No, no, no,
sweetie, you're doing so well.

Do you think I would be
putting us all through this

if I didn't think it were
incredibly important?

What kind of monster would I be?

Thank you.

Hmm.

That's... no.

That's just...
that's the worst...

Worst sound I've
ever heard in my life.

I know. Please don't make me
feel much worse than I already do.

I'm sorry.

Mmmph.

Wonder if my parents
ever did this to me.

Don't say it that way...

"Did this" to you.

I'm sorry.

By the way, your parents, I don't
think they ever did this to you.

What does that mean?

Come on. Your parents probably went in
your room if someone else's kid was crying.

I see. I see.

So your parents, they
were like the really...

The big disciplinarians,
your parents.

Yeah. They knew how to be tough.

Hey, so did mine.

What did they do, send you
to bed without your mallomars?

Now, you know what?
That's uncalled for.

Just would rather
we not spoil our child.

Oh, I see. So I'm...

I'm the one who's
going to spoil her.

They say we repeat our
parents' mistakes. Yeah.

So you were ready to run
in there one minute ago.

Yes, but, I didn't, did I?

- I stayed. Do you
see me sitting here?
- Yes.

Would you call this spoiling?
Am I spoiling her now?

No.

Good. You know
what? I'm going in.

No, Paul. Don't.

You'll undo all the good
that we've already done.

Where is the good?
Show me the good.

She's crying, I'm
going out of my mind,

And we're gonna kill each
other, so where is there good?

Piece of cake. Okay. All right.

One minute.

Hey. Hey, sweetie, it's me.

Hi. Here I am.

Don't cry, baby, please.

Yeah, I'm right here.

I know. I know this is
hard, but, we love you.

All you have to do is get
to tomorrow, just tomorrow,

and tomorrow we're gonna
hold you and kiss you enough

to make up for a thousand
nights like this one.

Yeah. There.

Hi, sweetie.

Yeah. That's right.

So just drift off.

That's it. Drift off slowly,

Not quite falling asleep

until mommy's out of the room.

Okay, sleep tight.

That was beautiful.

I think that did the trick.

I think you nailed it.

You think so? God, it
would be so gratifying.

You hungry?

You see? You see?

I see. I see.

What time is it?

It's time to set the clock.

Dear god.

Was it 15 minutes now?

Uh-huh.

All right. Come here.

It's like she's screaming
bloody murder.

Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

♪ K-K-K-Katie, beautiful Katie

♪ You're the only
g-g-g-girl that I adore

♪ When the m-moon
shines over the mountain

♪ I'll be waiting at
the k-k-kitchen door ♪

That's sweet. What is that?

My grandfather
used to sing that.

I always thought
he had a stutter.

Then one day, I was
listening to the radio,

Heard Rudy Vallee sing it
the exact s-s-s-same way.

I'm sorry I said
you would spoil her.

Accepted.

Look at that.

What?

We have a cabinet here?

Uh-huh.

Did I know that?

I just always believed you did.

I never even heard of this.

What do we...
yeesh! Look at this.

Licorice from,
like, the civil war.

Hey, here's the remote.

Oh... good for you.

Why would you hide it in
there? For what reason?

Architectural Digestl never saw.

Sylvester Stallone has
a house, apparently.

Hey, look at this, honey.

A picture of your other
boyfriend, Tom Brokaw.

I'll take that.

- Listen to her.
- I know.

- She's just wailing.
- I know.

And panting... And scratching?

- Oh, god.
- What are you doing?

- Where's Murray?
- What?

Where's Murray? He's
not in the living room.

He wasn't in the
kitchen before...

You gotta be kidding me.

Oh, no. That can't be...
No, no, no. It can't be.

- It is!
- Oh, Murray.

- Murray.
- Murray.

Oh, how could you do
this tonight of all nights?

He may not really understand
what we're doing tonight.

You have to get
him out of there.

Murray, Murray...

No, no. He's making that sound
he makes right before he barks.

You can't just walk in there.

She might hear you.
You have to crawl.

I'm not gonna crawl.

I'm just gonna grab the dog...

Mabel can't hear you or,
see you even for a second.

- I don't wanna...
- Get in there.

I actually said to myself, "One
child. How hard could that be?"

Okay, come here, Murray.
Come here. We gotta talk.

Come here.

Shh. Don't say a
word to anybody.

Go, that way. Let's go.

- Great job.
- Yeah.

Dig me, I'm a mop now.

How much time?

Nine Minutes.

Okay... You know what, though?

You know what I'm gonna do?

If you don't mind,
just very quickly,

I'm gonna grab a
basketball score real quick.

- Okay?
- Okay.

- But, from here.
- Okay.

You gotta teach me how to
do that. That's unbelievable.

Stallone... He puts
columns in his bathroom.

For what? Why would he do that?

Okay... Okay...

Here we go, here
we go. Look at this.

"Nyack, New York.
Charming 3-bedroom,

"3/4 of an acre, river views..."

Wow. Someday, huh?

Yeah.

- Let's go look at it
this weekend.
- What?

We'll drive up Saturday,
take a look at this house.

-Why? -Because... We should...

You know what
happened to me yesterday?

What?

I'm walking from our
room to the baby's room...

Honey, our room
isthe baby's room.

Yes.

How much time?

Seven and a half minutes.

You really wanna move?

I just really want it to be seven and a
half minutes from now. That's what I want.

Where would you go?

Just... To the suburbs.

But, where?

Connecticut.

Nuh-uh. Too close to my parents.

What, the entire
state of Connecticut?

All right, Westchester.

Honey, we can't
afford Westchester.

No, we could. Like, a
small, charming house.

"Charming" means broken.

"Rustic" means broken.

"Charming" is small.

You really wanna be
a suburban person?

All my life, I wanted to.

But, they're so dull and sedate.

No, no. That's not true.

Plus there's no culture.

You gotta drive miles
and miles for any culture.

You can drive
right into the city.

You think you do,
but, you never do.

- We would be different.
- No, we wouldn't.

Our brains would
addle to walnuts,

our pulses would deaden,

our lungs would get... and our
daughter would grow up sheltered

and knowing absolutely
nothing about the world.

Believe me, our daughter
will know about the world.

Do you want her
to only know people

with the same values
who are the same color?

No, of course not.

Do you want her to get her
education at the Paramus mall?

They got a bookstore.

A million books can't teach her
as much as one day in the city.

Sweetie, can I tell
you something?

I grew up in the city.

Here's what you do
from the time you're eight.

You run. You just run.

The minute you're in
it, you run and you run,

all the time because
anywhere you look,

there's somebody
who wants to hurt you.

There's a
manic-depressive cab driver,

there's a dog with a grudge.

There's a guy who just wants to
push people onto the subway tracks

so he can be on the news.

Well, I think it's worth it.

No, not to me.

Here's what you want. A
nice, old house somewhere...

Just for you and me

and our soon to be very
well-adjusted little daughter.

Uh-huh.

You know, it'd be
nice to have a house,

cook her rigatoni every
day for the rest of her life.

A nice house where she
can call over to me and say,

"Dad, would you like
to go out and play?"

Man, this is really...

This is worrisome.

It's half an inch. It's
not the worst thing.

- No... us.
- What?

It's like we're completely
incompatible as parents.

- Sweetie...
- Check the clock.

Six Minutes.

Hey, we're very close.
Don't go soft on me now.

We disagree on everything.

No, not everything.

Yes. How to discipline her,

Where to live, how to deal
with our feelings about it.

So what's left?

I betcha we both hate that rug.

What? Okay. So, you
know what? Maybe we are.

We're totally
incompatible as parents.

Heh. Well, I'm glad
we had this talk.

I don't feel so good.

Really?

I feel like I might be sick.

Oh, boy.

Why'd you let me eat that?

Can I just say something?

I think it may not
be the licorice.

Well, then what?

I don't think you're
actually such a big fan

of listening to your
daughter cry all night.

Come on, come on.

What is your gut telling
you to do right now?

It's telling me it's up to me

to teach her some self-reliance.

What is your gut telling you?

It's telling me it's up to me
to help her be independent.

Your gut. What about your gut?

What is your gut telling
you to do right now?

It's telling me to go in there
and pick her up and hold her...

Right now, before we hurt her
any more than we already have.

Thank you. Wait, wait, wait!

What?

Listen to that.

Oh, my god.

She's sleeping. She fell asleep.

It's over.

We did it. Huh?

Yeah.

Okay. That was not
bad. That was great.

Yeah. That was really great.

And you were right... it worked.

What?

We broke her heart.

Why?

Now she knows we won't
always be there for her.

Yeah, but,
that's... that's good.

Right?

I wanna go in.

No, no, no. You
could wake her up.

But, I wanna go in.

I... I don't think
we should do that.

Turn back the clock.

Oh, amazing.

This is unbelievable.

She's her daughter.

What?

They're mother and daughter.
They've never met in 35 years.

I know, but, do you
realize this is all one shot?

What?

This whole scene is one shot.

Camera hasn't moved
in, like, 20 minutes.

- So?
- So that's fantastic.

What's the big deal?

One shot for 20 minutes? Do
you know what that involves?

Oh, god, look. She's crying.

Sweetie, a 20-minute shot means
that there's no margin for error.

One little mistake, and
they gotta start all over.

Why would they make a mistake?

Well, not on purpose,
but, what if one of them

forgets a line or drops a fork?

See the guy in the background?

If he knocks over a cup of coffee,
they gotta throw the whole scene out.

What are you talking about?

It's just very risky.

For these actors,
that's a lot of work.

It's their job.

Sweetie, see, what happens...

You're ruining this
whole thing for me.