Original subtitles

DISPATCHER: 1 William 13, please respond to a possible 187,

316 Flower, apartment 18.

Clear.

CHASE: Clear.

Ambulance?

Coroner.

Name's Clark Segal.

Why does that ring a bell?

Golden rope?

A lariat.

That's Lash Lamont.

Who?

Lash Lamont from the "Captain Crime Stoppers" show.

He was the Captain's arch enemy.

Unlike yourself, McDonald, I have

better things to do with my Saturday mornings

than watch kids show.

August, the show's been off the air for 20 years.

You don't remember the Royal Rascal of Rope,

the Crown Prince of Cord?

You never reached puberty, did you?

Strangled with the golden rope.

How's that for irony?

I'm going to call this is.

CHASE: I'm gonna take a look around.

Wow, a real Captain Crime Stopper cape.

August!

Not again.

There

Stupid parlor tricks.

Just like the captain.

That's how he used to get away on the show.

He used to fly.

He fell, Mac.

Well, he didn't have his cape.

All right, you got the cape, why

don't you fly after him, OK?

I'll meet you downstairs.

Mac!

[THEME MUSIC]

Cragmeyer said they found spandex fibers on the rope.

So somebody from that show finally

took the lariat down for good.

OK, so we start by getting a list of everyone that

was connected to the old show.

Then again, maybe it was some nut

case not connected to the show.

Well, the tag inside the cape said Hathaway

Designers of Santa Monica.

They used to provide all the costumes for the show,

but they've been out of business for about 10 years.

A-ha.

So that would mean that it's an original costume, which means

to me that I think we should start with Captain

Crimestopper himself.

What was his real name?

Wayne Barry? - No.

It's not Wayne Barry.

I mean, Wayne Barry isn't just some run

of the mill ordinary actor.

He is Captain Crimestopper.

Come on, Chase.

I'm not kidding, August.

He created the character.

He was a real life hero.

Yeah, well, maybe it went to his head, you know?

I mean, maybe he played that character for so long

he can not tell the difference between fiction and reality

anymore, and he's out there trying to take

down his old enemies for real.

It isn't the Captain.

It's all we have to go on.

Humor me, OK?

It isn't the Captain.

Detectives?

Hi, baby.

Hi, honey.

Hey, Chase.

Hey, Kendra.

What's up?

I just thought I would bring my two favorite guys

in the world a picnic lunch. - What a nice wife.

I ever tell you what a nice wife you have, August?

A guilty wife is more like it.

Honey, what did you do?

Can't a woman bring her husband lunch without him

looking for ulterior motives?

Honey, I know when I'm being buttered up, you know?

And right now, I'm being buttered on both sides,

and you are starting with the edges.

Now what did you do?

I didn't do anything.

Yet.

Okie dokie.

Here we go. - Don't worry, August.

It's not going to cost you a penny.

In fact, I might even make some extra money.

Go on.

Well, I've been asked to test for this year's

LA Babe Swimsuit calendar.

Can you believe it?

Well, what do you think?

What do you think, August?

LA Babes Swimsuit calendar?

I think there better be some caviar

in that basket, some prime rib, a bottle of Dom Perignon,

sweet potato pie, and collard greens.

Collard greens, I definitely think

there better be a lot of collard greens in that basket.

August, don't be like that.

Yeah, August, don't be like that.

Hey.

Come on, August, I really don't see where the harm is.

She's married now.

I mean, what does she need to be doing that stuff for?

Because she's married now.

What the hell does that mean?

I have no idea, but it sounded good.

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Uh-huh.

This is it, August, Captain Crimestopper headquarters,

the Crimestopper Castle.

Impressive.

Mr. Barry?

Police, we'd like to ask you a few questions.

What do you want?

Captain Crimestopper?

Do I look like an old washed up superhero to you?

This is Detective McDonald.

I'm Detective Brooks.

We'd like to ask Mr. Barry a few questions.

Did you try knocking?

Yes.

- Did he answer? - No.

I guess he's not home then.

Who are you?

Me?

I'm lord of the land, collector of overdue rents

for the rental company, and evictor

of those like Mr. Barry who are four months late in his rent.

Excuse me, sir.

Do you think we could take a look inside?

Make it quick.

My soaps are coming on soon.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wow.

You know, that guy Barry was a looney.

I came here to collect the rent, and he accused

me of being disguised as this--

Fat Man Tater, right?

It's a character from the show.

How'd I guess that?

Wow, just look at all this stuff.

Captain Crimestopper posters, mugs,

board games, action figures.

Oh, look at this.

The Captain Crimestopper crossbow.

This guy's got everything.

Yeah, except money to pay for the rent.

You know, it seems to me that this guy

is just a wee bit obsessed.

Oh, come on, August.

There's nothing wrong with keeping a few mementos

from your past triumphs.

Not unless you're trying to restage

all those triumphs for real.

There's a lot of bills here.

Old post-marks.

You know, this could be a motive, Mac.

If somehow killing Segal could benefit Barry financially.

August?

Yeah.

Can of gold spray paint.

Spray for the golden rope.

Like I said, this guy's obsessed.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

McDonald.

Richardson?

You're kidding.

Right.

OK, we're on our way.

They just found Kyle Batson dead in his apartment.

Who was Kyle Batson?

The Mad Millionaire.

From the show, you know?

The show.

Listen, don't touch anything in this house.

Lock this house up tight.

Yes, sir.

You do know who you're throwing out on the streets,

don't you?

My boyhood hero.

- How you doing, Jacobs? - Good.

Thanks a lot, David.

What have we got here, Richardson?

Kyle Batson.

You know, he played the Mad Millionaire on "The Captain

Crimestoppers Show?"

Captain Crimestopper?

Don't waste your time, Richardson.

August evidently never watched television when he was a kid.

Is everyone in this division turning into a 10-year-old?

He was stabbed to death with a dollar sign.

Talk about irony.

The Mad Millionaire, a dollar sign.

There weren't any witnesses.

All right, let's go inside, check it out, huh?

Captain Crimestopper.

He was an action hero.

Excuse me, Frick.

I think Frack needs me.

He was my favorite.

OK, let's get the paperwork over to forensics

and we'll follow this up.

CHASE: I'm telling you, August, he didn't do it.

AUGUST: And why do you think it's impossible that Wayne

Barry killed these people?

CHASE: Because Captain Crimestopper never killed

anybody, not even a bad guy.

He was the world's best crime fighter. he would run into--

Into what?

Into burning buildings, into heavy gunfire?

Who do I know that's just like that, hm?

Listen, Mac, you've got to separate the man

from the myth, all right?

Wayne Barry's just a man, and men crack.

I just know that there's another explanation.

Yeah, right.

There's your explanation.

Freeze.

Police.

All right, get up.

On your feet, very slowly.

Slowly.

Put your hands on your head.

Put your hands on your head.

Oh, not again.

CHASE: Watch the exits.

[COUGHING]

That's rather embarrassing.

It used to work much better than that.

Please tell me you're not the real Captain Crimestopper.

I am the one and only Captain Crimestopper.

Okie dokie, one and only Captain Crimestopper,

you have the right to remain silent.

If you give up that right, anything you say

can and will be used against you in a court of law.

You have the right to an attorney--

When I heard that somebody nut had stolen my costume

and killed Clark, I decided it was time for the real Captain

to take action.

So that's why you were snooping

around Kyle Batson's place?

I was not snooping.

I was investigating.

How did you know Mr. Batson was in trouble

In the first place?

I have a police radio in my house and in my car.

Mr. Barry, we found gold spray paint in your apartment,

much like--

My energy bill.

I've had it for 20 years.

It was tarnished and scarred.

It needed a touch up.

I say we go talk to Cragmeyer.

Officer Stevens, will you see that Mr. Barry

here gets back to his cell?

Hang in there, Captain.

Hang in there, Captain?

You know, this guy has turned you into some 9-year-old fan,

you know that?

August, you don't seriously think he did it?

I don't?

Well, the guy at Segal's was leaping tall buildings

in a single bound.

I mean, the Captain barely made it down three flights of stairs

before he fell.

Yeah, well, maybe that first run took everything out of him.

Or maybe, he sprained something or something, you know?

You just don't like him.

Well, what is there to like, Mac?

You know this guy's a nut.

I mean, he wears his underwear on the wrong side of his pants.

Well, Cragmeyer, was he there or not?

You're going to have to draw your own conclusions

on this one.

I'm not sticking my neck out.

Oh, great, leave it to Mr. Unbiased here.

The gold spray paint that you found at Mr. Barry's house,

not the same type used on the rope that killed Clark Segal.

Ha.

And there were scraps of Spandex

found in the victim's hands.

Ha ha.

No corresponding rips or tears in Mr. Barry's costume.

Ha ha ha.

God, what an outfit.

I mean, that thing could repel laser beams, fire balls--

Wild animal attacks.

Wild-- yeah, that was a great episode.

Do you remember the one where he was kidnapped by those Amazon?

Hey, hey, hey.

Can we concentrate here, guys?

OK, if there were no rips in the outfit, then

maybe that means that he was wearing a different costume.

I mean, they must have made dozens of those Captain

Crimestopper costumes.

Guys, don't look at me like that, OK?

I'm trying to do my job here.

There was blood all over the Batson crime scene,

none on Mr. Barry.

All right, Cragmeyer, so if I'm following correctly,

either Captain Crimestopper changed costumes

between the time he killed Batson

and the time we caught him, or there's another guy?

That's about the size of it.

There's no evidence at all that Mr. Barry

was ever in that apartment?

I can't say that he wasn't, but then again,

I can't say that he was either.

So I guess that means he walks.

Well, it's your call.

He walks.

Let's go tell The Purple One the good news.

What is this?

That, my friend, is 12 months of sheer bliss.

That's this year's edition of Babes of LA Swimsuit calendar.

12 of the most bodacious bimbo's that nature

or science can create, and they are wearing

the tiniest little bikinis.

You could fit them in a matchbox.

I tell you, August, it shivers my timber

just thinking about it.

Then don't think about them.

Hey.

Geez, what's eating him?

I don't know.

Detective, I want to thank you very

much for driving me to my car.

I really appreciate it.

Hey, my pleasure. It's been great talking.

In fact, if you're not out of stories,

maybe we can grab a bite somewhere.

Oh, well, there's no room in this thing for a wallet,

you know. I just--

Hey, my treat. I know just the place.

Oh, well, thank you.

That would be fine.

Captain Crimestopper on patrol.

Ta-da.

Itty bitty tiny bikinis.

Match box.

Honey.

Yeah?

Well, what do you think?

I think I've just been hit by Mike Tyson.

Are you gonna wear that?

It's, uh, it's a little little.

You really want to do this, huh?

Well, why not?

It'll be fun.

I can earn some extra cash, and I mean,

it's not like I haven't modeled before.

Yeah, but you said that you had to model before, you know,

to put yourself through college, and you've

already done that, Kendra.

I mean, you've got a great job helping the kids,

and I mean, isn't that enough?

Oh, you don't want me to do this.

No, no, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying.

Listen, Kendra, I'm trying to be an evolved man

of the 90s about this whole thing, but this is just so--

this is so sudden.

No, August, you're upset, and I should have thought about it.

And you know what?

I won't do it.

I'll call him up, and I'll counsel the whole thing.

No, no, no, you won't.

Listen, Kendra, we've always been two people, right?

You really want to do this, I won't stand in your way.

But it doesn't mean that much to me,

and if it's hurting you--

It's not hurting me.

Do it. - OK.

I will.

Nice going, August.

Ollie or Oliver King was a struggling producer back then,

and he saw my schtick, and he gave me a call.

And he said he thought I had potential, so I came down

and we got together with him and Clark and Kyle,

and we brainstormed a series and formed a partnership.

And we signed the papers, and wonder upon wonders,

it sold, the silly thing, to the network.

So Clark, Kyle, and King were all partners in this?

Yes, along with Gray Dixon, who was my sidekick Lightning.

Now, Clark and Kyle are dead.

Do you have a copy of these partnership papers?

Do you think maybe--

I don't know, but it's worth taking a look.

Geez, I haven't seen those papers

or looked at them in 20 years.

I don't even know where they--

all right, I tell you what.

I'm going to an autograph signing party

tomorrow on Venice Beach on the boardwalk,

now if you meet me there at 1 o'clock,

I'll give you the papers.

You've got it.

Now, tell me about the time Miss Feline scratched your back.

Oh.

RADIO ANNOUNCER: Good morning, Los Angeles.

This is Michael Horn with CRN, bringing you the latest

headlines for the Southland.

The LAPD is currently investigating

two related homicides that have taken

place in the last 24 hours.

Television stars Clark Segal and Kyle Batson

were found dead yesterday in their Hollywood apartments,

the strange connection between the two cases

is that both men played villains on the old "Captain

Crimestoppers Show."

Segal had played Lash Lamont, Batson

had played the Mad Millionaire for several seasons

back in the late 60s.

In addition, Wayne Barry.

The actor that played Captain Crimestopper

was questioned about the murders and released yesterday.

Sources at the LAPD insist he is not a suspect,

but if you would like a chance to question him yourself,

he'll be appearing at the Venice Boardwalk

this morning to sign autographs and greet fans.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Will you sign my picture?

Well, certainly, son.

What's your name?

Ricky Peppin.

What's this?

It's a new Captain Crimestopper.

A friend of mine got it from a guy who works at King Pictures.

King Pictures, huh?

Ollie did this.

Oh, I'm sorry, let me sign it for you.

Would you happen to have another one of these?

I'd like to study it.

Sure.

I made lots of copies.

Thank you, citizen.

You know, that show's been off the air for 20 years.

I mean, does anybody really still care?

Does that answer your question?

They're all here to see that old man?

See? I'm not the only one.

Thank you, citizen.

I know you two, The Larceny Brothers, Petty and Grand,

right? Episode 29.

Great costumes.

Why, thank you, Mr. Barry.

Ah, ah.

Come on, now, the Larceny Brothers always completed

each other's sentences.

OK.

You are--

Dead.

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha.

Very, very realistic looking guns.

Yeah, well, if he's so popular,

how come he's still so poor?

Well, apparently the original contract with the network

gave away the syndication rights,

so he doesn't get a dime in residuals from the reruns.

That's a bummer.

[GUNSHOT]

Police.

Freeze!

The Captain's been hit.

Captain, you all right?

Yeah, I got some purple thread at home.

Go get them.

I'll keep.

You know, the glamor of this job is wearing off real fast.

Let's go back and check on the Captain.

Did you catch them?

Not exactly, Captain, if only we had that Jalopy of Justice,

huh?

Well, looks like you cheated death once again, Captain.

Now, don't steal my lines, son.

Sorry.

Oh, by the way, this is the partnership papers.

I don't know if you'll find them any good, but you know.

All right, we'll take a look.

Now, you gotta get better.

You gotta be ready for that next episode, huh?

Right.

Oh.

I'm sorry, Captain.

That's all right.

It's all right.

Come on.

We need around the clock guards on the three remaining

partners.

Gray Dixon, Barry, and Oliver King.

You got it?

Right. Later.

Oliver King, the shlock movie producer?

He's a producer, that's all I know.

He's the schlocky.

They call him the King of the Z's.

I've seen all his pictures.

That guy's worth millions.

Has he ever played a villain in any of his movies?

Because right now, he's looking good for the role.

What do you got?

Well, this contract reads like a recipe for murder.

The rights of the Captain Crimestopper character

are held by all the partners together, but get this.

If any of them die, the rights revert

back to the remaining partners.

So one of the partners is executing

an extremely hostile takeover.

But how do we know it's King?

Well, he is the producer.

I mean, he's got the facility, the distribution,

and all that film stuff.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

Excuse me.

Yeah?

Brooks.

Oh, hi, babe.

Yeah.

Good news, huh?

You got the job?

Yeah. Yeah.

That's great news, hon.

Right.

I'll talk to you tonight when I get in.

Yeah. Bye.

So, Kendra got a job?

What's she going to be doing, August?

None of your business.

Let's go talk to King.

Yeah.

Oh, hey, hey, when you see King, tell him that I loved

"Satan's Sorority Sisters."

You know how many LA Babes calendars I counted hanging

at the station this morning?

Hm, 16.

17.

I must have missed one.

This thing's really bugging you, isn't it?

Of course, it's bugging me.

I mean, that thing is all over town.

I don't want to be driving around looking up

at the windows and wondering what dirty old man is getting

all sweaty over my wife.

Yeah, I see your point.

Well, have you talked to Kendra about it?

Absolutely.

I talked her into it.

Really?

Well, you know, I didn't want her to think that I was one

of those guys that couldn't handle his wife

attracting attention, you know?

Yeah.

I don't know why she'd ever get an idea like that.

You think this is funny, don't ya, Mac?

Yeah.

Well one of the partners is doing OK.

I hear the producer always does OK.

Look, don't worry about everything, Oscar.

We'll just cut in a couple of explosions

from "Cyber Chicks, Number 2" and nobody

will know the difference.

Relax.

Ah, detectives, come on in.

Come in, gentlemen.

Come in.

Please, take a seat. Be seated.

Mitzy, hold all my calls.

Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet my VP in charge of development,

and the brightest kid this company has, Oscar Tinge.

Don't believe a word of it.

Detective Brooks.

Detective McDonald.

Well, this is all about Clark, isn't it?

Poor bastard.

Died on welfare.

What a fate.

And Kyle Batson.

He's dead as well.

Kyle Batson?

Well, good God, man, what's going on?

Actually, Mr. King, we were hoping you could tell us.

Perhaps shed some light on why everyone in this contract

is dying.

Except for you.

Are you accusing Mr. King of something, Detective?

Because if you are, you'd better be able to back

it up with hard evidence--

You bet.

He is accusing him.

Captain.

Captain, what are you doing here?

You're supposed to be in the hospital.

Your arm.

Your suit.

I always carry a spare.

You'll never get away with this, Oliver.

Oh, for Pete's sakes, Wayne, will you stop it?

You're embarrassing yourself.

What are you talking about, Captain.

This.

This atrocity.

The partners have talked for years

about a Captain Crimestopper movie,

but we could never agree on a concept.

King always wanted to make a meaner, tougher, a dark hero

for a dark time, ha.

Yeah, and you wanted to be Mr. Rogers in tights.

Well, it doesn't work anymore.

You gotta change with the time.

Yeah, and you certainly have.

See, he knew we would never agree to his changes,

but with the Captain writing a nostalgic comeback,

he had to act fast.

So bang, bang, bang.

Suddenly, he's the only surviving partner.

The movie gets made, King Pictures

finally gets some respect, and Oliver is set for life.

You disgust me.

Look, I promised you that I would never

make a Crimestopper movie against your wishes,

and I never will.

Then explain this.

I asked Oliver to play with the character in my spare time,

work up a pitch.

It was just an exercise.

We would have come to you with it before we did anything.

Just an exercise?

And Clark and Kyle died because it was just an exercise.

You are a pathetic liar.

And you're a lunatic.

Mr. King has been better to you than you deserve,

you washed up has been.

Excuse me.

Gentlemen, can we just calm down?

Mr. King, why don't we return and talk with you

when it's more convenient.

Captain, if you don't mind, we'll

be getting you back to the hospital where you belong.

But you've got the murderer right here.

What is the matter with you? - Captain.

But, but--

You're letting him get away.

You know, maybe that's the way you fought crime on your show,

but in the real world here, we have

a little thing called evidence, which we have none of.

August is right, Captain.

I mean, King might be behind all this, but we do need evidence.

And you need your rest.

Where'd you park your car?

My car is not here.

I came here from the hospital by bus.

In that outfit?

And why not?

I was sitting between a man in a dress

and a woman in a garbage bag and nobody said a thing.

I know, I know, we need to give him a ride now.

Come on.

Oh.

Chase, it's Richardson, I'm at Gray Dixon's.

Captain Crimestopper just showed up.

I'm going in.

Right.

OK, we're on our way.

That was Richardson.

Someone dressed up like Captain Crimestopper

just entered Gray Dixon's apartment building.

All right.

We need to drop him off.

Oh, no, I'm going with you.

Ray is my sidekick, Lightning.

Mr. Barry, I don't think that--

I don't think we have time to think or to argue.

Now, go.

Damn.

Mac, Mac.

Mr. Barry, you're going to have to get out.

Oh, no, I'm going with you.

Captain, why don't you go check

on the Lightning, all right?

Right.

LD 4, LD 4, this is 1 William 13.

Right, right, there he goes.

I see him.

This is 1 William 13, we're in pursuit of a suspect,

silver grey late model Chrysler Le Baron.

Headed west on 4th.

Police, freeze.

No, no, no, no.

I'm the real Captain Crimestopper.

The nut you want went that way.

Captain?

Lightning?

Lightning?

Oh my God.

What have they done to you?

Lightning?

Lightning, you gotta hang in there, buddy.

You got to hang in there.

Who did this thing to you?

Who did this to you?

Why, that little son of a--

I gotta go.

i gotta go.

What's so funny?

If that's what's known as the Captain Crimestopper Cruiser,

I am very impressed.

Oh, yeah.

Collector's item if I ever saw one.

CHASE: That is not the Captain Crimestopper Cruiser, August.

The Captain Crimestopper Cruiser was cool.

It was better than the Batmobile.

It could do all sorts of things.

It could fly.

Hey, hey, Mac.

Just forget I mentioned it, all right?

I'm gonna pull up alongside here.

Pull over!

Pull over!

Uh-oh.

August.

Hang on.

August?

Yeah?

We landed right side up for a change.

That's good, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Shall we?

Yeah.

Won't start.

Simon, I need a lift back to the station.

You know, Richardson said Captain Crimestopper was

pretty upset when he took off.

You'd be upset too if you lost your partner.

Some people would.

CAPTAIN CRIMESTOPPER: Detective McDonald and Brooks, come in.

This is 1 Williams 7, who's this?

CAPTAIN CRIMESTOPPER: Captain Crimestopper.

Captain, it's illegal for private citizens

to use the police band.

CAPTAIN CRIMESTOPPER: Did you catch him?

No, not exactly.

CAPTAIN CRIMESTOPPER: Well, I'll be ready for him.

Detectives, if you want to be in on the kill,

you come to Crimestopper Castle.

Adieu.

Captain?

Captain?

To the fortress, I presume?

We need the car.

OK.

At last, the showdown.

This is an $800 gun, you moron.

The real Captain never used a gun.

He was a real idiot.

Oh.

Freeze.

Police.

You gentlemen here for the cleanup?

While I appreciate your assistance,

but I have everything pretty much in control.

All right, detectives, all right.

You're going to back away, and I'm

going to walk out of here into the sunset,

and you're never going to see me again.

Just put the gun away.

You're not going to get away with this.

Sure, I am.

You don't know who I am.

That's the wonderful thing about masks.

I'm surprised more criminals don't use them.

Now, back off.

We're backing off.

Ah, geez.

I really hate this smoke thing.

The old right cross, as reliable as mother's love.

Captain saves the day.

Okie dokie, but who do we have under foot here?

See for yourself.

Oscar Tinge.

Oliver King's Wonderboy.

Huh.

Way to go, Captain.

So, Mr. King, Oscar had the perfect plan.

By killing the partners and framed you for the murders,

the rights to Captain Crimestopper would go to you.

Yep.

But you'd be in prison for life,

leaving him to run King Pictures,

and take all the profits from the new Captain Crimestopper

movie and merchandise.

Yeah, and dressing like Captain Crimestopper

and hiring those two thuds to play The Larceny

Brothers, that was all for the publicity,

give the movie a boost.

Oh, I trusted Oscar.

I just can't--

Wayne, I can't tell you how sorry I feel about all this.

I can't believe that Oscar did this to all of us, but he did.

And the least I can do is just take care of my friends.

King Pictures are going to take care

of all of your hospital bills.

Oh, look, I really appreciate that, but I don't need charity.

Oh, what kind of charity?

You're going to work for this.

Hey, we got a movie to make. - What?

Well, because of recent events,

I've had a change of heart.

You know, the world doesn't need a more

violent or darker anything.

So with your permission, I'm going to put into production

a new Crimestopper movie, and I'm

going to need your critical input from start to finish.

You got a salary check starting this week.

Well, I don't know what to say.

Well, gentlemen, I think we know what to say.

We're going to say goodbye.

It sounds like you two guys have got a lot to talk about.

Well, detectives, thank you so much.

I really appreciate it.

Thank you.

Oh, uh, Captain, no more real life adventures, right?

Right.

- Mr. King. - Yeah.

Bye bye.

Bye.

Bye, detectives.

Come on, we got a lot to talk about.

Right.

August, you want to try fighting

crime in tights and a cape?

I don't think so, my man.

I'm not really into spandex.

Besides which, I could never figure out

how those super types kept from getting their capes caught

on everything.

I think I'll just stick to my casual wear,

thank you very much.

That's too bad, because I had this great idea,

we'd put fins on the back of the detective car,

and we'd paint it purple.

A-ha.

Captain Malibu.

And his faithful sidekick Auggie.

Hey, hey, hey, how'd I get to be a sidekick?

OK, OK, fine.

You can be The Dark Avenger.

Uh-huh.

And you will be Sqiggy, the Surfer Boy.

Squiggy, the Surfer Boy?

Yeah.

I don't think so.

OK, then maybe we're not cut out to be superheroes.

Speak for yourself.

Kendra, here are your final proofs for your approval.

Call me.

Honey.

Oh, Kendra, these came in.

I am one lucky SOB.

You are an outstanding woman.

These are beautiful.

Well, you're going to be the only one who sees them.

No, no, Kendra.

I mean, you wanted to do this, sweetheart, and, um, I mean,

I really meant what I said when I told you--

No, no, I had my fun.

Plus, I mean, I don't want to make you miserable,

so I can stroke my vanity.

I made the final cut.

I don't need the whole city looking

at me to make me feel good.

You do just fine.

[THEME MUSIC]

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