All language subtitles for How.High.2.2019.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

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YTS.MX

[funk music playing]

[man] ♪ Whoo

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

♪ Whoo

♪ Yeah

♪ Whoo

♪ Whoo

♪ Yeah

♪ All right, here we go

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ Money on my mind
So I'm too paid ♪

♪ Real all the time
Never Kool-Aid ♪

♪ Sippin' on Duse, sike

♪ Come a long way from G'burg

♪ Puttin' in work like Ferg

♪ New York to LA
Hawaii and Japan ♪

♪ I'm the motherfu-- man
Least I'm feelin' like I am ♪

♪ Got the whole wide world
In the palm of my hand ♪

♪ But don't give a goddamn
I'm Sam I am ♪

♪ What that even mean?
I don't know
What you talkin' 'bout ♪

♪ Why nowadays
Everybody got a palm out? ♪

♪ PLP, yeah, that be me And
that be what I rhyme 'bout ♪

♪ I have arrived
All you rappers
Are in timeout ♪

♪ Rattpack, where you at?
Everywhere worldwide ♪

♪ I know you been waitin'
For this world to collide ♪

♪ B-O-double B-Y
It take LA and Folarin ♪

♪ 'Bout to take it back
Like Doc and Marty
Inside the DeLorean ♪

♪ I am no historian
But here to make
My predecessors proud ♪

♪ Oh, you bitch
Is not allowed? ♪

♪ I put it on everything
I really wanna cop-out ♪

♪ But I did good for a dropout

♪ Hop out the coupe
Chicken heads go crazy ♪

♪ Gotta sound swag
When the flow get lazy ♪

♪ What up? What's good?
Where you at?
What you been on? ♪

♪ Anybody step into me
I promise they get... on ♪

♪ Better hop up on the train
'Fore you miss your chance-- ♪

♪ Hop up on the train 'fore you
Miss your chance to get on ♪

♪ Mixtape Bobby
That's the type of...
I spit on ♪

♪ Whoo!

♪ And it's on now
Everybody know
That it's on now ♪

[DJ] One-oh-seven point nine.
Atlanta's home for hip hop.

Nighttracks is sponsored by Fye.

Get that futuristic high
with Fye.

Coming soon.

And coming up, we're dropping--

Okay, we got a Biggie Burger,
wings, two waters.

Y'all want sauce?

[Steffi] Boy, you know
we want that sauce.

Yeah. We wanna get it real wet.

[laughs]

Okay. Uh, ten forty-eight.
Drive on up.

♪ Come on in, come on in
Come on in ♪

♪ You gotta survive
I said you gotta survive ♪

Damn!

Yo, what you two li'l fine
rich girls doin' eatin' here?

Whole Foods outta kale,
or somethin'?

We in the mood
to get reckless tonight.

You wanna turn up with us?

Hell, yeah.

Let's go smoke out back.
Threeways.

Yo, where you get
your weed from?

Yo, it's been dry as hell
around here.

Everybody's down bad.

You have no idea what we
had to do to get this pack.

Come 'ere.

Whoa. Oh.

- Whoo!
- Whoo!

[Steffi]
Fire it up, baby, yeah!

So, look.

- I'm working on this company...
- Okay. Mm-hm.

...called Two Smacked.

- [laughs]
- It's like, a app,

like, that delivers snacks
to weedheads.

- Mm-hm.
- You know what I'm sayin'?

And it's called Two Smacked,
'cause like--

'Cause, like, you smacking
while you smacked.

- Oh, my God. [laughs]
- You get it?

Two Smacked.

Whoa.

[laughter]

Whoa. You all got me so high.

You ain't really high
until you hit this.

[Steffi] Mm-hm.

That looks like a Purgemask.

[Steffi] Come on, baby.

[Roger] Maybe a little bit.

[Meegan laughs]

- [Roger mumbles]
- Are you ready?

- [Meegan laughs]
- All right.

[inhaling]

[coughing]

[mumbles]

- Here's what's up.
- What the--

We're gonna go inside, and you're gonna
give us all the cash in the register.

Or we're gonna deep-fry
your meat.

- Cool?
- [groans]

Damn, man.

Why y'all gotta go all
Clermont Twins on me like that?

Our Xan dealer don't take
Daddy credit card no more.

[muffled grunts]

- [mumbling]
- [screams]

[mumbles] Get me outta here, man!
Please, man.

Boy, what in the sweet hell
do you got goin' on?

I got robbed.

- By who?
- Savages.

They was big
and there was a lot of 'em

and I fought 'em off
for as long as I could.

Boy, you know the first rule
of working the night shift is,

you can't leave the store
unattended, bro.

These people out here
are animals

and they will kill your mama
for a damn egg sandwich.

Now I gotta go back here and
see if we got the damn thugs

- on the videotape.
- Video?

Whoo!

Roger, man, let me impute you
on a little wisdom, man.

If you wanna be in charge,
you got to follow the rules, bro.

You gotta be a sheep,
but not a outside sheep.

You wanna be a inside sheep
'cause outside sheeps get ate.

A sheep!
Remember that at your next job.

Next job?

Yeah, 'cause I'm gonna have to
let you go, man. You fired.

And I need that shirt back.

Oh, no, no, you can't--
Yo, you can't take this shirt.

Yo, I got a meeting at the bank and I
need this shirt. I left my shirt at home.

The shirt is property of Zesto.
Need that shirt back, man.

Uh, fine, man. I'm gonna do my
own thing anyway. Keep the shirt.

Man, what the hell is this?

- Oh, I left that in the pocket...
- I guess you had a helluva night.

No, no, no. That's mine, dawg.

It was in the shirt,
so I guess it belong to Zesto's now.

That shirt is horrible.

Undershirt dirt.

- How you get ketchup on your nipple?
- Yes, but...

Bye!

[grunts]

Anybody else wanna get fired?

Not me.

♪ I'm-a do my thing
Coast to coast Coast to coast ♪

Good afternoon. I'm Calvin.
You Hayes?

My man.

Yeah, I'm Hayes.

Can I get you anything to make
your ride more comfortable?

AC? Bottle of water?

Forty bag of some loud?

Did you just offer me drugs?

I'm gonna have to take two stars
off your rating.

Wait. For real?

Nah. [laughs] I'm just playin'.

A-T-L is dry as dust.

Yeah, it is.

Why do you think I'm in
this sketch park right now?

Let's go to my office.

♪ We went back
Like flip phone Motorolas ♪

We are open for business.

This is that Sky High,
Mr. Hayes.

You hit this, you gonna be staring at
the sky for three hours, like this.

On the contrary,
that is bunk.

You just gonna
disrespect me like that?

I've seen pocket lint
that's better.

Well, go on and smoke
your pocket lint, then.

Go on and smoke your pocket
lint with your rude ass.

'Cause you ain't
hurtin' my hustle.

[sighs] Just my feelings.

Get out my car, Mr. Hayes.

Really?

No, I'm just playin'. [laughs]

You could've bought
some weed, though.

Late every time.

[clears throat]

[with British accent] Hello, sir.
May I borrow your shirt?

[speaks normally]
I'll give it right back, dawg!

Roger? Hey, it's--
It's Alicia from high school.

Yo! Shit, yeah.

Wow, yo, you look amazing,
like, Angela Rye amazing, like--

- Like Jemele Hill
amazing, like... -Okay.

You look good.

- Yeah.
- I was going for Taylor Rooks,

but I'll give you points
for trying.

She's good-- good-looking.

Uh, so, how have you been?
What're you doing here?

Trying to get a loan for my--
for my business.

In that shirt?

That raggedy-ass shirt?

You look like you did a little
army crawling to get here.

- It's--
- You got--

It's a long story.

Yeah?

- [phone vibrating]
- Wish I had time to hear it.

This is my boss.
I gotta go.

It was good seeing you.

- I mean, I'll see you later.
- Okay.

A'ight, Hot Shot Business Lady.

[whispers] Hot Shot Business--

Yo.

Where are you, cuz?

We got our meeting at the bank.

Oh, baby, that feels so good.

[moans]

Are you smashing right now?

No, boy,
I'm making mashed potatoes.

Yo, whatever, man.
Just hurry up, dawg!

Bitch, I told you
to get off the phone.

Your stroke
ain't even that good.

[clears throat]

So your company name
is Two Smacked?

Yup. It's an app where you
deliver snacks to stoners.

Do you have any collateral?

Something, you know, of value
that could guarantee the loan?

Oh. Yeah.

These are--

These are good as cash.

I got a Waffle House.
Man, this has, like, six-fifty.

I got a IHOP,
I got a Jiffy Lube.

I have like four or five on it.

That's good, right?
[chuckles]

Yeah.

Man, I can't never count on
you for nothing. Never, ever.

Listen, stop pressin' me, okay?
I told you I was cookin'.

Oh.

Green eggs and ham.

Man, shut up, man.

Yo, we missed out on the bank
loan 'cause of your dick.

You really need
to tighten up.

Yes, and just because we cuz,
that don't mean I got to help you.

You're staying in my mama
basement for free. What you mean?

You stay
in your mama basement!

It's my mama!

It's my auntie!

[grunting] Yeah!

Fool!

[laughs]

[Big Bang] Well, well, well.

The two brokest, mustiest boys I know.
[laughs]

The two here stinkin',
messin' up the community.

What's up, Cal,
you here for the re-up?

Hell, no. I can't even give
your dirt-ass weed away.

[Co-Sign] Whoa!

Count your blessings.
This the only weed in town.

Shit, I had to mix
that shit with oregano.

Basil and cilantro.

Talkin' 'bout my weed?
What's wrong with him?

You got me looking stupid.

Hey! Big Bang can't make
nobody look like nobody.

Big Bang only make Big Bang
look like Big Bang!

You got you lookin' stupid.
You know who I am?

You know who grass you on?
You know who almost-property this is?

If it weren't for the City owning
it, you know who would own this?

- Big Bang.
- Big Bang.

You know why
they call me Big Bang?

You know why? Do you remember
why they call me Big Bang?

[both] 'Cause you the spark
that started it all.

- Say it like it's the Pledge of Allegiance.
- [man] Louder, man.

'Cause you the spark that--

♪ 'Cause you the spark
That start it all-- ♪

Hey, hey, I ain't got
no record deals over here.

- Come on, man.
- You tryin' to get signed?

Only thing I sign
is death certificates.

You hear what I'm sayin'?

Man, everybody know I started all
this, invented this.

- [man] That's right. -This trap
house right here was a regular house.

And then I had 'em build it
into a trap house.

It was nice. And I say,
"Why it look so nice out here?

Tear it up. Break it down."

This trap house

is a monument.

Monument.

Commemorating
washed-up drug dealers.

- [Calvin] Let 'em take it.
- [Big Bang] Washed up?

Heard your bitch-ass
got fired.

- [laughter]
- Whoo!

- How you know that?
- I know everything.

I knew it before you got fired.

You wanna come work for me,
I got a grill right here.

I got a grill for him
to come work on.

I'ma fire you, too.

I'm gonna let you work half a
day, then you outta here.

All these rappers out here, talk like they
been trapping. They ain't been trapping.

Two Chainz. There wasn't no Two Chainz.
He had no chains on.

I gave him one chain one day, next day
I see him again, there go another one.

- He's like, "I'm Two Chainz
now." -[man] That's right.

I smoked out-- what that
dude name-- Mark Zuckerberg.

Smoked him out. He was like,
"Can't even feel my face." So what'd he do?

Make Facebook after that.

I introduced Jay-Z to Beyonce.

[all exclaim]

I introduced Whitney to Bobby.

- Oh.
- [Co-Sign] Damn.

It was-- but it was--

It was the time when they needed
each other, and then things went--

Man, we don't got time for this, man.
Come on, man.

What you got time for?

- Come on, bro.
- You wanna work?

[laughter]

- [man] Get out of here.
- Hey, uh, Roger.

- What?
- Remember Alby?

What you talkin' about?

I'll be at your mama house
later!

[laughter]

All right, look, right.
Check this out.

Nope. Nah. Mm-mm.

Look at her, cuz.
She built like Big Bird.

Are you body shaming, bro?

How you gon' be
broke and picky?

Look, let me show you
somethin'.

Mm-hm.

Show you how playa I am.
I'ma DM her, right?

[laughs]

So, she read it, but--

Uh, how she gon' leave me
on "read," man?

She ain't even that cute,
anyway.

She needs to stop skippin'
leg day, gon' look ugly.

[grunts] Hey.

[crash]

[mom] Roger! What was that?

[grunts] Nothin', Ma.

[mom] Do I have to get
out of my chair?

No, Mama, stay in your chair!

[mom] All right, then,
I'll stay in my chair.

What is that?

Hey, look at this!

Get back, fool.

Grab it.
All right, lessee.

What that?

Some kind of Weed Bible.

Look like instructions for growing
some kinda super weed or somethin'.

Yeah, that's good, but we need to smoke
the blunt that's on front of it, here.

Mm-hm.

We don't know what that do.

Who cares?
Roger, don't nobody care.

It's better than the twigs
we been smokin'.

That's true.

Here we go. 'Preciate.

[grunts]

[grunts] Huh?

Yo, what is happening?

[screaming]

Oh! One, two, three, four.

[screaming]

[groaning]

Shit.
I'm glad that's over with.

[screaming]

What the--

[yelling]

- The hell just happened, man?
- Man, I'm freaking out, man.

We must be back
on the West Side.

Whoa. Somebody's coming, man!

Oh, shit. Roger,
I forgot to tell you this.

I had a dream last week and
this is how we both die! Oh!

[raspy breathing]

Who the hell are you?

Yeah.
Identify yourselves right now.

Wait a minute. Are we supposed to
have helmets 'cause y'all got helmets?

[coughing]

Oh, shoot.

No. We just hotboxing.

They look fly, don't they?

- [laughs]
- [coughs] Not.

Where are we?

You just smoked yourself a
one-way ticket to a playa's party.

- Playa's party.
- [laughs]

Who are you?

- It don't matter who I am.
- [woman] That's right.

- It only matters what I know.
- Tell him!

That is the gas.

The loud pack!

- That loud pack, pack, pack, pack...
- Pack, pack, pack...

Oh, my God.

Y'all ain't never seen
nothin' like that

in them li'l projects
y'all hang in.

- [woman] Never.
- This is so beautiful.

I just need a minute, y'all.
I'll be back.

Is this Heaven?

Does this look like Heaven
to you, fool?

And y'all wouldn't
make it in anyway.

Why are we here?

- Y'all found the Weed Bible, right?
- [woman] Right?

Yeah, but,
what do we do with it?

- [grunts]
- Oh, my goodness.

Learn how to grow some weed!

Duh!

This book contains
human history,

and obviously,
you both been chose.

[woman] Both of you.

I knew I was special.
I knew it.

[groans]

Too soon. [laughs]
Way too soon.

Let me learn
you li'l fellas somethin'.

- Learn 'em somethin'.
- Marijuana's been around since BC.

- [woman] You know what that is?
- Before Crack! Sure has.

It's Before Christ, man!
Before Christ.

I got the "before" part right,
yo.

Now that shit
that y'all call "loud,"

we had another name for it.
It was called "Sensimilla."

[woman] Sensimilla.
Give 'em somethin' else.

Acapulco Gold.

- [woman] Give 'em somethin' else.
- Kush.

Give 'em another one.

- Da Purple.
- Mm-hm!

And this right here, my friend,
is the ultimate bud.

[Roger] It's gorgeous.

- Oh.
- What the--

It smells like angel farts.

Farts of an angel.

What's it called?

It's called--

I wonder how you spell that.

You smoke it,
you don't spell it.

Dummy.

Now, this weed right here will
give you supernatural ability

to fight off evil,
dangerous things.

[woman] Oh, yeah.

Make sure you protect
this Bible with your life.

Your life. You heard him.

- [Baby Powder] Come on.
- Come o'er here. Hit 'em one time.

The name is Baby Powder.

Have a nice flight home.
[grunts]

- [woman] Bah-bye!
- [mumbling]

[screams]

Hell!
What-- what year is it?

- Who am I?
- Bro.

I feel like the universe
just twerked on my face.

That weed is evil.

Let's hit it again.

I feel ya, bro. But wait.

That's how we can get our money,
cuz, with the weed.

I'm in.

Think about it.
We try and get loans,

ain't nobody gonna give
dudes like us a shot.

I'm in.

- Ain't no weed in town right now.
- I'm in.

And if we grow this,
we can sell it

and make enough money
to start our business.

Bitch, didn't I tell you,
I'm in!

And you're not listening.
I'm in! I am in, in.

Damn, cuz,
I've been selling weed.

I'm just bad at it.

Look, I'm tired of being broke. And I'm
tired of stayin' in your mama basement.

[mom]
What's wrong with my basement?

Ma-- Ma, stop listening!

- [mom] Then stop badmouthing
my basement! -Damn.

I'm sorry, Auntie!

Girl, you know I love your basement!
I love everything you do for me.

[mom] All right, then, Calvin.

Let's grow.

♪ Dance with my dogs
In the nighttime
Wroof ♪

♪ Trap with the chickens
like Popeye's
Popeye's ♪

♪ Money changin' colors
Like tie-dye
Tie-dye ♪

♪ I'm just tryna get it
I ain't tryna die
No ♪

♪ She got a big ol' onion
booty Make the world cry Cry ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ Hold them bands down
Hey ♪

♪ Hold your mans down
Hey ♪

♪ Who told you come around?
Who? ♪

♪ This that trap sound
Trap ♪

♪ Designer clothes
Clothes ♪

♪ Fashion shows
Shows ♪

♪ Trap, house
House ♪

♪ Made of gold
Gold ♪

♪ Control the bag now
Control it ♪

♪ No need to brag now
No need ♪

♪ Ay, put the mask down
Mask ♪

♪ We livin' fast now
Fast ♪

♪ Finest
Finest ♪

♪ Wrist froze

♪ We can go
We can ♪

♪ Coast to coast
Coast ♪

♪ Watchin' me whip up
Still be real and famous ♪

♪ Dance with my dogs
In the nighttime ♪

♪ Yeah
Woo, woo, woo, wroof ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ Keep watchin' me whip up
Still be real and famous ♪

♪ Dance with my dogs
In the nighttime ♪

♪ Wroof

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Whip it ♪

♪ In the kitchen
Wrist twistin' like a stir fry
Wroof ♪

Hell no, man!

All that work for nothin'.

Waste o' damn time, cuz.

[rumbling]

Man. What?

Oh, hell now.
[screams]

Oh, what's that?

What goin' on, cuz?

[whimpers]

[squeals]

- We gonna be rich.
- [screams]

We'd like another chance
to win your business, okay?

Now we done upgraded
our product line.

Roger, show him what we got.

Damn, man.

- [Roger] Exactly.
- [Hayes] That's what I'm talkin' about.

This ain't just any weed. We like to
think of ourselves as the Apple of weed.

- Mm-hm. -We're about to
be in everybody's pocket.

See this right here?

- It's all occasions.
- Mm-hm.

- When you're tryna turn up.
- Turn up.

- Turn down.
- Turn down.

- Turn your life around.
- [mimics tires squealing]

- Where you're tryna pull up.
- Pull up.

- Pull out!
- Pull out.

- [laughs]
- Or maybe pull over!

- Yeah!
- Stop!

- [screaming]
- [tires screech]

Oh, damn.

[grunts]

Oh, I think your "damn"
a little too early.

Okay, okay,
we gotta do this.

We gotta record this.
Gotta get this on World Star.

Landscape, fool.
You gotta catch everything.

Hey, man, y'all better
watch where y'all goin'.

We were at a stop sign.

Yeah, uh,
it was my homeboy fault.

What?
Lemme tell ya somethin'.

You never apologize, okay?
It's three rules to livin'.

- Rule Number One, never apologize.
- Yeah.

Rule Number Two,
you never give out your government name.

- [Roger] Yeah, yeah.
- [Calvin] Okay?

Rule Number Three, you never throw
out cups that get free refills.

What?

I'm gonna snap you in half,
you little punk.

My boss is gonna be really,
really upset about this.

Nobody give a damn
'bout your boss.

Your boss can kiss my ass.

♪ Hold up, hold up, hold up
hold up, hold up ♪

- Is that Lil Baby?
- That's Lil Baby!

- ♪ Wah-wah-wah--
- Hey, wha' goin' on, man?

You all see this big-ass boat
in front of y'all, man?

Wait, wait, wait. Uh...

Um, what if I offered you
a truce?

A truce?
Man, I don't even do truces.

No, we made it, man.
It's-- It's good shit.

I'll tell ya
if it good shit or not.

Let me see.

- What are you doing?
- I'm saving your ass kicks, man.

- It's our only blunt.
- Man, shut up. Look.

♪ Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah

- You see that? Look again.
- [grunts]

- All right.
- [Lil Baby grunts]

Hey, man, I ain't gonna lie, man.
That's some good shit.

That's mighty fine.

I told you.

Good shit, man. That shit--
That shit strong or what?

What the hell
we doin' right here, anyway?

- Y'all hit us, Lil Baby. You
wham-wham-wham and shit. -Hush! [grunts]

He whammed it.

Um, we hit your car.

- [Lil Baby] Hold up, hold up, hold up.
- Accident.

What-- So this, right here?

Accident.

Man, I ain't hate you.
Don't even worry 'bout it, man.

- For real?
- [man] Yeah.

It'd be a shame to be upset
on such a beautiful day.

We gonna get some fries, man.
Let's ride.

Well, I'll be damned.

I told you.

Now why you still recordin'?

Don't nobody wanna see no video
of some guys becoming friends.

Man, you don't get it,
do you?

Yeah, we supposed to fight those
dudes, but the weed made us get along.

That was incredible.

I-- I mean, I never seen
weed do that.

Stuff has superpowers.

Exactly.

You know what?
We 'bout to own this town.

Everybody finna be
a superhero.

♪ Business is boomin'
Money be movin' ♪

Let's go!

♪ Nobody got it like we got it
Who you foolin' ♪

My car won't start.
Goddamn it.

♪ Business is boomin'
Everyone want a portion ♪

♪ Now I can't fold my wallet
No more contortion ♪

♪ Can't tell me nothin'
I been makin' a fortune ♪

So, how can I help you?

I wanna enjoy my job,
but I hate kids.

I got the perfect thing
for you.

[laughs]

♪ Business is boomin'
Money be movin' ♪

♪ We don't be losin'

♪ What y'all be doin'

♪ Hey, business is boomin'

♪ Money be movin'

♪ Nobody sleepin' on the job
Y'all be snoozin' ♪

Come on! For real?

It's ridiculous! Come on.

- Yo, what's up, OG?
- [Jasper] What da deal?

I already got them people
going...

all about that there
smoke batch, on my grill, man,

goddamn runnin' crazy, boy!
You wan' come back?

I don't know what he said.
Just show him the weed, man.

♪ Hope you ready
For the boom now ♪

♪ All of my partners is busy

-♪ They with the jam
Like Jiffy ♪
-[cheering]

♪ You ain't involved
It's a pity ♪

Well, Roger, we are turning
the block up, baby.

Told you it were gonna work.

♪ We 'bout to get some money

♪ Hands in the bag
Like I'm holdin' both jokers ♪

♪ Hey, business is boomin'

No one talks to me.

I think it's because I'm the only white
kid at a historically black college.

- [Roger] Nah.
- [Calvin laughs]

- You just lame as hell.
- [laughs]

You gotta loosen up, bro.

I just want people to see the chill,
charismatic me, not this anxious mess.

Dude, if you so anxious, well, this is
the weed that's gonna calm you down.

♪ Nobody got it like we got it
Who you foolin' ♪

♪ Business is boomin'
Money be movin' ♪

♪ We don't be losin'

♪ What y'all be doin'
Hey, business is boomin' ♪

Over here, this is where
the rich people live.

- [man] Mm-mm. That's the secret.
- [woman] Who the hell gave him the key?

Now, Quenton,
you know I have to know,

how dreadful was that outfit
she had on?

Honey, it was ugly
and it was an outfit.

What did you say to Porsha?

None of your damn business.

- What do you mean, none of my business?
- [Quenton] What I said.

- What'd you say?
- Ladies--

[overlapping chatter]

Man, when I tell you these
bitches are wearing me out.

We got what you need.

- [Quenton] Sho 'nuff?
- Take a whiff of that.

Oh. Well, I'm gonna try it.

Let you know how this work out.
I'm gonna go live my best life with this.

Yeah.

♪ Blood, sweat and tears
Runnin' dry
Need a donor ♪

♪ Hands in the bag
Like I'm holdin' both jokers ♪

♪ Business is boomin'

- I don't give a damn who right or wrong.
- Oh, that smell... Ooh.

[Marlo] Get on over here,
Quenton. Get in here!

- Get your ass over here, boy.
- You know you're family for life.

- [Quenton] All right. I'll be your teapot.
- [overlapping chatter]

Oh, baby. Oh, cuz.

How much we got?

- 'Bout this much.
- Shit. A'ight.

I mean, this town's so dry,
we're finna be making all the money.

- Yeah. Oh, yeah. -I'm talkin' baby
wipes instead of toilet tissue money.

- Oh, yeah?
- I'm talkin' brand-new car money.

I'm talkin' gettin' yourself
out your mama basement money.

[mom]
What's wrong with my basement?

- Damn, she got some good ears.
- Man, 'cause you're so loud, man!

Come on, man. [grunts]

You know I love
your basement, Auntie!

♪ We been gettin'
All the money ♪

♪ All the money-ay

Oh, damn.

[Roger] Oh, damn.
Our super weed's gone.

They got the Bible too, cuz!

Shit.

Damn!

Yo, where's our shit?

Well, you better slow down,
run up on my side house like that.

You s'posed to come around the
front, you wanna address me properly.

Come up talkin' that brokanese,

- act like you havin' a crack
attack or something. -Yeah.

Man, did you see somebody
go in my house?

Did I see somebody what?

Do I look like
the house watcher?

Oh, oh,
"Big Bang the Watch Dog." [barks]

[as dog] Nobody go--
Nobody go in your house.

[speaking normally] No,
I don't watch no goddamn house.

I've just been sitting here with
Co-Sign and these beautiful ladies,

and this dude I don't know,

looking at that cloud up there
shaped like the booty.

It's amazing, too.

[grunts] Ain't nobody worry
about that, man.

Somebody went in my house
and stole our whole stash.

See? That's what happens.
Look at you.

Just decide you wanna sell weed
and start sellin' weed.

Can't just do that. You can't
just sit down at the dinner table

- and start eating without praying, boy.
- [all murmuring]

You probably got ghetto taxed.

Probably that ghetto tax real!

- [laughter]
- So you took it?

Did I say I knew
anything about it?

I'm just sayin' maybe things
like this wouldn't happen

if you showed Big Bang
some respect.

- Respect? Respect? Here you go,
talkin' 'bout respect again. -Yeah.

- Bro, that's all you ever talk about.
- Like Aretha!

Yo, we don't owe you
nothin', bro.

- This man act like he invented
selling weed. -I tell you.

Ain't nobody else
invent selling weed but me.

I've been trapping since before
trapping was trapping. A'ight?

That's what I do.

You-- you ever heard of Selma?

Yeah, I heard of Selma.

Yeah, yeah,
that's why they call it Selma.

- I used to "sell ma" weed down there!
- [laughter]

They was marchin' for that.
[laughs]

And other things important
in the black community.

But weed was part of it.

Yo, man, we get it. You old as hell, bro.
But where's our weed at?

- Oh. -Who you callin' old?
You see my outfit.

Boy, I'm fresher than Zest.

Boy, I'm so fresh, people don't
say, "Take a shower."

They say, "Take a Big Bang."

Let me tell ya
what ya ought to do.

If I was y'all,
which I'd never be y'all,

'cause I wouldn't be
standing down there

looking up at Big Bang like, "Please,
Big Bang, help us. Who stole our weed?"

If I was y'all,
this is what I'd do.

Search around.

You lookin' in the wrong place
right here.

- Go down there, ask the Asian
people down there. -You never...

- Asians next door, bro.
- [Big Bang] You ain't ask them?

The white people over there be...
Got all their windows blacked out.

- We didn't check the white people.
- [Big Bang] Yeah.

You ain't even see
they go in and out of the house.

They could be in there
murdering people.

I'm not saying that they stole
anything 'cause that would be racist.

I'm just sayin', check the--

What you do
is check the high school.

[woman]
Yup, check the high school.

Oh, them high boys down there,
they got no respect.

All they lookin' for,
somebody to get.

They got the face all day.
Maybe they got your shit.

Is that a booty cloud?

No, the booty--
Look more to the left.

[both] Damn. Booty cloud.

[Big Bang]
That's the booty cloud.

Whoo!

Yo, man, why you wearin'
that stupid-ass hat?

What's wrong with it?

I used to wear it
back in the day.

Uh, you gotta understand, cuz,
we got to blend in.

Come on, now.
Gotta trust me.

Come on, man.

- Get in there. Come on.
- Come on, cuz, in here.

[woman on PA] Students,
please report to the buses

for the Verdant Biokinetic
field trip.

All right, now, check this out.
We lookin' for kids with clean kicks.

'Cause that mean
they stole our stash.

Bet you they did.
I bet you they did.

Oh, snap, Mr. McMullen.

Yup. McMullen.

Oh. I did not know he was
still the principal here.

- He is.
- He can't see me.

Can't see me.

I know he's still mad at me.

You know why.

Bro, it was a senior prank.

Man, you smashed his wife.

On his desk.

- While the PA was on.
- While the PA was on.

- [Mrs. McMullen moaning]
- [Calvin] Mrs. Principal.

Ooh. I'm gonna be on the Honor Roll now.
[moaning]

- What the--
- [feedback screeching]

[screaming]

- I gave her the whole swirl.
- You got to give me--

It's a souvenir.

- I hate that hat.
- [door opens]

- [McMullen] Listen--
- Oh, shit!

The kid has gotta wear pants.
That's not up for debate.

[inhales]

Coochie King.

Oh, it's on.

Hey, man,
why is it so quiet?

Like, don't nobody wanna
skip class 'round--

- Yo, Wesley Snipes.
- [mumbling]

[indistinct]

Call 911.

[Roger] Oh, my God.

Damn, what happened, skirt?

Poor kid.

Oh, my God, on your face.

God damn, these kids.

Oh, shit.

Come on. Man.
We about to get robbed.

- We... -You don't wanna rob us.
We broke.

Would you mind
taking our picture, sir?

- Huh? -We just got a
A on a science project

and we wanna text our mom.

Take a picture?

[Roger] They kids, man.

Don't you ever reach for your damn jacket
like that. Put your phone in your pocket.

I almo' knocked y'all
the fuck out.

[camera clicks]

- "Sir"?
- Yup. He called me "sir."

It's the braids.
I done told ya. It's the--

[sniffing]

You smell that?

[Roger] Right here.

Locked, man.

We gonna connect through,
and we're gonna get them punks. Come on.

- We got 'em now, man.
- Mm-hm.

Yo! Mr. Crandall!

- Yo!
- Jesus!

- You been gettin' high?
- [laughter]

You guys scared
the piss outta me.

Why are you not
on the field trip?

Buddy boy high as hell.
You don't remember me?

- It's Calvin.
- Roger.

Hold on. Let me do the move.

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- [grunting]

Calvin. Yes, I remember you.

- [Calvin] What's up?
- You graduated?

- I mean, you know, I walked across the
stage. -You walked, that's for sure.

- I was there, you know.
- Mm-hm.

So what's up?

We-- We got a, um,

a little neighborhood business
that, you know,

me and my cousin
done started up, right.

You know, 'cause we trying
to change our life around.

- [chuckles] 'Cause I graduated.
Right? -Got it.

Some of our business supplies
have been misplaced

and, um, it was brought to--
to our attention

that some of the people
who might have misplaced 'em,

they probably go to this school.

So, we just wanted to say hey,
you know, [laughs] speak to 'em.

Oh, so you guys are dealers.

Somebody copped your product.

The whole stash.
Man, they took the whole thing.

And this smells
rather familiar.

We was wondering
if you could help us

- find out where you got it, 'cause,
you know... -Yeah. You know.

...it's kinda hard
to come by now, you know?

You're telling me.

Dealers all over town
are completely sold out.

It's like somebody's
buying in bulk.

Open a friggin' chronic Costco.

Found this, uh, this canister
earlier in the cafeteria.

I haven't seen it before,
but, um, I tell you,

this is dank as fudge.

I smell it. [laughs]

- What he say?
- He-- I don't know.

Man, this smell like angel farts.
This is our stuff.

Looks like Russians.

Talk to Ivanov.

They're in the Magic Kitty,
strip club, downtown.

Russians steal everything. They done stole
our election, and they stole our weed.

- [feedback screeches]
- [McMullen on PA] Calvin.

I know you're in the building.

I found your hat.

If I find you, my friend,
you're going down, hard.

Told you not to wear
that stupid hat, man!

It's my favorite hat, cuz.

Damn!

Sounds like you guys
need this more than I do.

- I do, 'cause I'm going down.
- [banging on window]

You home wrecker!

- Come on, man!
- Oh! Here you go.

[grunts]

Yeah, I'm-a get down.

[Roger] Come on, man!
Grab me some!

Come on.
McMullen gonna kill me.

Go! Go! The gym! Gym!

Oh, no, not again.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, man!

[rattling]

Damn.

I told you,

if you ever stepped foot
in this school again,

I'd beat you senseless.

How's our wife?

[grunts]

[growls]

[screams]

That super weed
made you fly, cuz! [laughs]

[grunts]

[screams]

Dunked on your ass!

- [laughs]
- Uh-oh, what goin' on?

[grunts] Oh!

[groaning]

- Come on, man.
- What happened?

What happened to my power?

[door opens]

[growls]

Out of the way! Move!
Move, move!

Calvin!

Damn it!

[Roger] That was crazy.

And we got us [indistinct].

[squeals]

You always gotta be doin' some stupid
shit, man. [grunts]

I can't believe
we're alive, cuz.

- Man, get your ass up, man.
- Time to go to the strip club.

[Alicia]
Hi. Welcome to Verdant--

I can't believe
I lost my hat again.

And over here.

Perfect.

A-- Alicia?

Yo!

Roger?

What's up?

Hey.

[hawking]

[spits]

- This is my, um... -Sorry,
I got bugs in my mouth. My name Calvin.

- ...cousin Calvin.
- [Calvin] Mm-hm.

Okay. [spits]

Anyways, uh,
this where you work?

Yeah.

It's dope.

So are you guys
with the kids?

We, um, volunteer chaperone

- at school, sometimes.
- Parents. Mm-hm.

Oh, people left their kids
with you guys?

Yeah.

What's wrong with that?

I'm just playing. All right,
you guys are gonna get the full tour.

And don't fall asleep
like you used to in class.

All right, guys. My name's Alicia
Harmon, and this is Verdant Biokinetics.

So let's start with
my favorite part of the tour.

Employee lounge where there's
free soda and snacks. Come on.

What is you doin'?

We ain't got no time
for no fool tour.

We ain't got time for no drinks, Roger.
You forgot?

We need to go to the strip club.
The Russian?

Yo, the booty club
gonna be there.

You see that lady up there?

Yo, just let me finesse this real
quick and it's gonna be all good.

Plus, she said it's free soda.
So we are goin' to be good.

Don't nobody give a damn
about no drinks, Roger.

You know what?
They better have liters in there,

'cause you sound
thirsty as hell.

Eh, shut up.

Founded in 2013,

Verdant Biokinetics
makes everything

from rocket biofuel
to nutrient-dense baby formula.

Well, I hope they don't mix up the
baby formula and the rocket fuel.

Babies gonna be blowin' up
all over town.

[imitates explosion]

[imitates baby crying]

- Shut up, man.
- We're working to improve the mind,

the body, and the world.

[Ana] Hello.

Oh. And look, there's our CEO,
Ms. Ana Cheever.

Hey, everyone.
Sorry to interrupt.

I just wanna say how happy I am

that you're all here today to be part of
our inner city youth outreach program.

Alicia is helping us to be
a fully-woke corporation.

- [sighs]
- [both] "Woke"?

You're all so brave,
and so beautiful.

You have such bright, bright
futures ahead of you.

And just remember,
don't do drugs.

Unless, of course,
they're one of ours. [laughs]

I'm kidding.
I am kidding. Okay.

Oh, thank you for that,
Ms. Cheever.

[laughs]
Let's give it up for her.

This lady is whack.

I think I'll find me
a place to smoke. I'm out.

Why don't we head
into our VR room,

where you guys can fly with bees
through real honeycombs. Yeah?

[beeps]

[female voice] Access granted.

[laughs]

You figure it out?

Oh, yeah, you know. I'm chill.
I'm math as hell.

[laughs]

Yo, so, yo,
what happened to the tour?

I left them in the auditorium
with a science movie.

So, you know, they're probably
all diddling each other by now.

I like science movies.

I bet you do.

What's up with your boss, like,
cryin' 'bout the inner city kids,

dressing like Erykah Badu?

Is she like, serious?

Yeah.

She means well,
but she can just be a real line-crosser.

That woman stresses me out.

Word. Yo, when I get like that,
yo, I get high.

Yo, I actually got some
if you wanna smoke.

I stopped smoking
in college.

For real?

- Yeah.
- Like, you never smoke?

Well, I guess, I don't know,
I just started focusing on my career.

Yeah, I'm all about my paper,
too, but yo, I gotta smoke.

Like, I gots to stay high.

Well, you're cute,
so you can do that.

[phone vibrates]

See, this is what I'm talking about.
The CEO needs me.

I'll be here
if you change your mind.

Shouldn't you be
with the kids?

Kids? Kids!

Roger, it's this way.

- I knew that.
- Uh-huh.

Nobody in here.

Time to smoke my blunt.

Ooh. Mustn't get too hard.

Nobody.

- What am I gonna do?
- [screaming]

[Calvin screams]

- Help me. Help me. Help me.
Help me. -Want me to help you?

- Oh, please-- [screams]
- Let me take a picture.

- [man] Now come on, man. -Man,
why you so strong? Get off... I can walk.

Yo-- Yo, what's goin' on?

Ain't none of your business,
sir.

It is my business.
He's with me.

Well, then,
you need to come with me, too.

- [grunts]
- Come on, now.

- You snitched. You're stupid.
- Damn, man! Damn!

[man] Fye is causing
some side effects.

This is very, very bad.
These results are horrendous.

Well, should we delay
the launch?

No. Absolutely not.
Our stock price would plummet.

- [Calvin] Ow!
- [Roger] Quiet, man.

- Sorry to interrupt.
- What is it?

I found these two
wandering around the halls

and this gentleman
was in a restricted area.

Who you callin' a gentleman?
I am not no gentleman. I am a grown man.

[laughs] What--
What's going on?

Uh, these two claim to be
with the high school,

but none of the other chaperones
have ever heard of 'em.

They say they're with you?

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Yup. I'm taking them
to lunch today.

They're actually
community leaders.

Oh! Community leaders.
Wonderful.

Calvin, Roger.

Yeah. It's Officer Community
Leader Calvin, at that.

- And Obama was a community leader.
- [Roger] Uh-huh.

I miss Obama.

- He was a deacon at his church.
- Hello there. Thank you so much.

We're gonna go.

Take them to Chez Jane.

It's the best soul food
in Atlanta. It's on us.

He only like brown M&Ms,
did you know?

Thank you so much.

Love you, brothas.

Yo, thanks for helping us out,
and all that, you know what I'm saying,

giving us a ride back
to the whip, and all that.

Are you kidding me? You just gave me
an excuse to get out of the office.

Let's go get that lunch
I just lied about.

Uh-uh, uh-uh,
I don't think we--

Uh-uh, we ain't got time, ma'am.
We're kinda in a rush.

Uh, have you ever eaten
at Magic Kitty?

- Huh?
- Yo, yo, yo. [laughs]

Yo, he's kidding.
We should go to Zaxby's or something.

Well, if you want the best
wings, you go to Magic Kitty.

Let's go see some booty.

Okay, but look.
There's a reason we gotta go, okay?

We gotta go see
some Russian gangsters, okay?

They stole our weed.
And we ain't really got a plan.

And you could die.

Okay. Well as long as I'm not eating
a boring-ass salad bowl at the mall,

I'm down for whatever,
Calvin.

Let's go.

Shit. You said you wanted
a ride or die.

So that's what we into,
people that just wanna die?

♪ If you a bad chick
Let me hear you say
Yeah ♪

♪ Little booty, big booty
Don't care
Yeah ♪

♪ You got your own car
Or your own crib
Yeah ♪

♪ He steady callin'
But you leave him on read ♪

♪ Just sway wid it
Sway wid it ♪

♪ Sway wid it

♪ Kinda geeked up
Sway wid it ♪

Oh!

♪ Just sway wid it
Sway wid it
Sway wid it ♪

♪ I met a dude named Wes Said
he checkin' for the best ♪

What's up, baby?
You wanna dance?

No. I won't-- We don't want no dance
right now. Maybe-- maybe laters.

But I know what you can
help me with, though.

Um, you know where
I can find Ivanov?

Sorry, I'm working.

You working?
Oh, but you can't find Ivanov?

- [man] Hey.
- Hey.

I know what
you're lookin' for.

So, you-- You--
Where the hell my weed at?

I got no need for your weed,
'cause I got so much money, it's funny.

I Got Money.

I'm a li'l popcorn player.

That nigga
just made it rain on me!

These wings are so good.

These breasts and thighs
are good, too.

Whoo! Go, girl.

Ooh.

Now that ain't corporate,
right there.

- A heap of hundreds, cuz!
- Hey, buddy.

Uh-uh. I told you
I ain't want no dance.

I heard you're looking
for Ivanov.

Yes. And tell him, when you see
him, I need to talk to him.

The boss is here. [barks]

He is not a he.

What you talkin' 'bout,
blondie?

I am Ivanov. Irena Ivanov.

Let's go.

Yeah, you all heard
The Terminator.

We gotta get the hell up
outta here.

Let's go see
what she's talkin' 'bout.

[Irena] Okay, let's hear it.

Why are you coming in here
and disrespecting my business?

No. What's disrespectful is,

you stealin' our weed and passin'
it off like it's your own.

- [Roger] Calm down, Calvin.
- No. Ain't no calm down, cuz.

I'ma calm down when you
all give us our weed back.

We don't steal weed.
You are wasting my time.

Bogdan, get rid of them.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We're not here to cause any trouble.

No, Alicia, ain't nobody scared
of Thieven Seagal. You hear me?

I'm about to go left and right like a
carnival game, only ugly-- [screams]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What if I offered you guys
a truce?

You all like smokin' weed,
right?

[Calvin whimpers]

[speaking Russian]

[laughter]

Okay.

Okay. Okay.
Now we do business.

[speaking Russian]

[laughing]

Hey, this, uh,
this is my design.

Your design?

[laughs] This college kid,
he come into my tattoo shop.

He said, "I want
cool Russian tattoo."

But fuck this guy,
so I designed "Weak Dick."

He must like,
he put on weed jar.

And what's the name
of this kid?

I don't know, but, uh,

he have red-black sweatshirt,
uh, with pussy on it.

P-pussycat.

South Atlanta College, right?
Yeah.

I think we're going
to school, after all.

You're not going anywhere.

- Okay.
- Oh, shit.

- [bouncer speaks Russian]
- Whoa.

Shit. What's goin' on here?

We give you good information.
Now you give me something.

I want her.

Me?

You are classy-hot,
not like other girls.

I want to see you dance.

[Bogdan]
I would like to see her, too.

[Irena] You work for me now.

We need a plan.

We gotta get up outta here,
y'all.

Calm down. I got this.

[up-tempo music playing]

Your girl done did this before.
Yes, she have.

- [laughs]
- Shut up, dawg.

[Calvin] Go, Alicia!

[grunts]

Irena! Irena!

- [Bogdan speaks Russian]
- [both] Oh! Damn!

- Run!
- Go! [speaks Russian]

- Girl, you crazy! To hell wrong wit' you!
- [Bogdan speaks Russian]

- [Alicia grunts]
- [Bogdan speaks Russian]

- Come on, God, they crazy!
- [Alicia] Let's go!

- [grunts]
- [Roger] What is you doin'?

- Come on.
- Let's go!

[yelling]

[Calvin] Girl, what was you
doin' in there?

[Alicia]
You said we needed a plan.

[Roger] We didn't say
kick the Russian in the head.

[Bogdan speaks Russian]

[Bogdan] Fuck!

[speaks Russian]

[indistinct]

[Alicia laughs] Oops.

[Calvin] Damn, girl!

Yo, I just feel like

we bein' such a bad influence on you.
You know what I'm sayin'?

Like, if you need to get back to
work or whatever you was doin',

me and my cousin, really,
we got it from here on.

I can't go-- I literally can't go
back to work today. I'm high as hell.

Which one of these students
you think smoke weed?

All the' kids smoke weed.
You gotta know how to talk to 'em. Mm-hm.

Just gotta know what to say.
Watch out.

Football players.
Which one of y'all got that Weak Dick?

Damn.

I didn't name it that!

[grunts]

I didn't name it that.

[indistinct] Damn.

All right,
it can't be that hard to find a kid

who smokes weed
on a college campus.

I think I know somebody.

Uh-huh. Follow my cuz.

[camera clicking]

[laughs]

Well, well, well,
if it ain't Robbin' and Stealin'.

Nah, it's Meegan and Steffi.

Oh, hey! Zesto's!

- What's up?
- Oh. [laughs]

Sorry about what happened
the other night.

Hey, didn't you get
our apology joint?

Yeah, I got it.
And I got fired.

Mm-hm. But it don't even
matter right now.

I need you to tell me right
now, who sells this weed.

Right now.

We don't smoke weed.

Are you serious?

You gon' tell me that right
now, with a straight face,

after we just smoked a pound in the
back of your Benz the other night?

It was-- They made me do it.
It was weird.

Uh-huh.

Oh, you ain't got
to explain yourself!

- Stop actin' like that.
- [Roger] I know. I'm just--

He smoke weed. Listen here.

Chocolate, Vanilla,
stop playin'.

Where's our weed, 'cause if you
don't tell us where our weed at,

Alicia here gonna kick y'all ass.
Ain't that right?

Mm-hm.

Yup.

Yup. You don't wanna--
[laughs]

Don't test me.

Now I already drop-kicked
one little goofy bird today.

Just like that.

She don't look crazy.

Yeah, you ain't scaring nobody.

Those pants are from J.Crew.
I wore them to a Bar Mitzvah.

Oh. Okay. All right.

- Uh-oh.
- Oh, shit.

[Roger] Got somethin' now.

Oh. Here.

Okay. Okay! Okay.

This guy named Tobin,

he's got the best weed
these days.

It makes you feel like Beyonce
riding a horse, like bareback.

But I heard he's, like,
huge and scary,

so I wouldn't mess with him
if I were you guys.

Nobody care about that.
Okay?

I know Krav Maga.
You hear me?

- You hear me?
- Damn.

Listen here.
Y'all ain't ready for this crane.

So, uh,
where is this Tobin dude?

He's sponsoring a party at Theta
tonight, but y'all can't get in.

It's for frats only.

Plus, you guys, I really
wouldn't mess with him.

He's like the Soog Knight
of Atlanta.

- "Soog Knight."
- "Soog Knight."

You mean Suge?

Whatever.

Ooh, you all gotta stop
watchin' black movies. Okay?

'Cause you're fuckin' up
the culture.

It's like the same thing.

It's okay.

Come on, girl. Damn.

♪ The boy got a problem
Better figure it out ♪

♪ All you selfie-takin' nickin'
Gotta watch your mouth ♪

♪ I'm just a Midwest playa
With some bounce
From the South ♪

Whoo! Thi' thang lit!

Oh, they let everybody in here.
Okay, I see what's happenin'.

Yo. [laughs] Where you think
we gon' find the Tobin dude?

I don't know.
We gotta split up, baby.

[laughing]
I think I'm gonna go that way.

Ladies! Have you ever met a guy who
been to another dimension? Okay.

♪ Damn

♪ Bag just dropped
I'm about to go
Ham ♪

♪ Pretty girls flock
When they see me go
Ham ♪

♪ Shakin' too hard for the radio Damn ♪

♪ I'm about to go
Damn ♪

♪ Adios
Damn ♪

♪ Bag just dropped
I'm about to go
Ham ♪

♪ Pretty girls flock
When they see me go
Ham ♪

♪ I'm about to go--

Damn, I shoulda went to college.
Ooh-wee. What's up, baby?

Yes, yes. [laughs]

Ladies.

Can one of you ladies
help me find Tobin?

Tobin? No?

Ooh. Girl, that's why your wig stink.
Don't do that.

Hey, my man. Who you wi'?

Oh, uh, I'm lookin' for my boy Tobin.
You know where he at?

- Tobin!
- Who you with?

Hey, I ain't
ask you all that.

This is a private party.
Who you wi'?

- Oh, who I'm with.
- Yeah.

Um, I'm from another chapter.
Minnesota.

Mm-hm. Theta all day, baby!
Theta. All. Day.

[laughs] Hell, yeah.
Theta all day.

- Yeah.
- Theta all day, baby. Okay.

Look, look. We about to step.
We down a man. Hop in.

No. I got asthma.

- I can't really do that right now.
- Hey, hop in, bro.

- Let me go use the bathroom.
- Oh, yo, we got one!

Okay. Later-later.

So, do you got a man?

Roger, do you really think
I'd be here if I had a man?

- No, I'm just asking.
- [gasps]

[slow song plays]

I love this song.
Let's go dance.

Don't kick me in the head.

♪ Oh, you exotic

♪ Who told you you could
Walk in here like that ♪

♪ Who told you you could
Light up this room like that ♪

♪ Who told you you could kill
All these girls like that ♪

♪ And every time they hate You
know you got that kickback ♪

♪ 'Cause, oh, you somebody
Somebody ♪

♪ Oh, you somebody
Somebody ♪

♪ Oh, you somebody
Somebody ♪

♪ Must be somebody

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

[Calvin] Uh-uh! Man, what y'all doin'?
Uh-uh, get off me, brotha!

- I ain't come here for that!
I just came to talk to some... -What the...

- Come on.
- Yeah.

Hold your horses right now.
You mean right now?

- Oh--
- Right now.

- This is where you wanna go?
- Yes!

Yeah, man. Let's go.

Right here.
All right. Come on.

[music playing]

I got it! I got the move, bro.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Oo-oo!

All right.
Eyes over y'all back.

I'll be ready for ya.

Now beat 'em back.

[humming]

[grunting]

[squealing]

[cheering]

Oh, shit. You people are crazy.

[all chanting]
Theta flip! Theta flip!

Theta flip! Theta flip!

- [man] Go.
- Come on, bro.

Theta flip. Let's go! I got you!

I got asthma. Don't make me flip.
It ain't good for my heart.

[all chanting]
Theta flip! Theta flip!

Theta flip! Theta flip!
Theta flip!

[grunts] Oh!

- Oh!
- Ow!

Ooh!

I'm good.

- [grunts]
- Damn!

No harm, no foul. All right?
I'm 'kay.

[screams]

[all gasp]

- [groans]
- [Roger] Calvin!

That's our founding
brother's ashes!

[man groans]

You say this who?

Our founding brother's
ashes, man!

[grunts] Oh, shit.

I got dead people all over me!

Y'all, that ain't no damn Theta!
Stop that bitch!

[grunts]

- Let's go, let's go! -[Calvin] Oh,
they're trying to kick on me! Move!

Let's find somewhere to hide!

That's weird.

- This-- This look like trouble.
- Oh!

[Calvin] Oh, yeah,
let's hide in here.

Can I join y'all?

Come on! Aw!

[barking]

[all] Oh.

[Roger] That is wrong.

- You just need Jesus.
- Come on, Cal.

- Get that punk up!
- Yo, get back here, punk!

Let's go! Where he at?

- This way.
- Where they at?

Check all the rooms!

Man, I told you to stay low.
Now what we supposed to do?

Tell me how we're supposed
to find Tobin now.

Hey, yo, let's go see if Tobin got
any more of that killer weed, man.

See? I told you
we gonna be straight.

[grunts] Mm-hm.

[grunts]

[coughs]

Yup.

That's our weed.

[man] There's a security breach.

Some scrawny dude with no dance
skills, and his friends.

Scrawny dude?
I will fight that mother--

Wait, you can't just go in there,
all maniac-style like that.

We need to have a plan first.

What weed we got left?

We ain't got no damn weed,
Roger.

We ain't got nothin'
but shake.

Hold up. Remember we was
kids, we had no weed then.

We used to go in my mama room and take all the
little roaches and shake, put it together,

and make a super joint.

Sta- I see where you goin'--

[both] It's Captain Planet.

- Call on him.
- Let's do it.

Mr. Planet, sir,
we call on you today

because we need your help
more than ever.

We was wondering
if you could slide down

and help us up
with some of that good-good.

He ain't pick up.
Hang up the phone.

- Leave a message.
- Break.

Come on! Let's go!

Thank ya, brotha.

[coughs] That's it, bro.

[coughs]

- [grunts]
- Are you guys okay?

It's [coughs]
part of the process.

Trust me.

Ooh, Lord.

Goddamn it!

I'm okay. I'm all right.

Yeah, fool.

All right, now everybody be cool.
Don't nobody make a move.

You all didn't have to kick the door
in, man. It was open.

Well, if you don't get your Missy
Elliott body half an ass up,

well, I'm on your ah', bo--

- Get his ass.
- I'm talkin' 'bout Big Top Lilly.

- [Roger] Get his ass.
- [Calvin squeals]

Look at him. You shoulda joined
a sorority 'cause you know why?

♪ You got titties

Get his ass.

Well, look at you.
Why you got a check on your forehead?

I bet your tattoo artist was in the
third grade. Good, check, ugly butt.

- Get his ass.
- [squeals]

- I'm ju' gettin' started--
- We didn't come here to play.

- Right.
- Where's Tobin?

Whassup, bitches?

- Wait a minute.
- Oh, hell, no.

I know you ain't Tobin.

♪ Business is boomin'
Money be movin' ♪

Give us our weed back,
white boy.

No. No, I--
I'm not giving anything back.

'Cause I've learned
an important lesson.

- That lesson is,
when you have amazing weed... -[grunts]

Mm-hm.

...everybody's nice to you.

Even if you're
a nerdy white virgin.

No, no, I'm--
I'm not a virgin.

I've had so much sex.

No, no. I know another lesson
your ass about to learn today,

- li'l virgin white boy.
- Let him know.

When you steal people shit,
it's repercussion.

We comin' back to cap that ass.

- Alicia, whoop his ass!
- Wait!

Can we not go there again?

Hell, yeah! And another thing is,
that tattoo you got on your arm,

it actually says "weak dick."

- What? What?
- [laughs] Flimsy.

No, no, the tattoo artist said
it meant "cool sex guy."

Oh, sweetie.

Get the hell outta my party!

You know,
I'm king of this frat now!

- [man 1] What?
- [man 2] What?

- Yo, say, what did you--
- What the hell you just say?

Uh, [laughs] I'm just-- I'm playin'.
I'm pla-- It's a joke.

Wait a minute.
Everybody shut up!

Everybody pause! Theta, you know what?
I'm tired of y'all.

We superheroes.
And you know what?

When our superpowers kick in...

♪ Ain't no tellin'
What we gon' do ♪

You don't wanna see this.

Uh, Roger, what's your superpowers,
'cause I think mine died, real.

Oh.

[grunts]

What is he doing?

Holy shit.

- [gasps]
- What?

[exhales]

What happened?

[sniffs]

I smell dookie.

Oh, you ain't-- You ain't-- You
don't need to worry 'bout that.

Uh-huh, did y'all see that?

Did you see that?

Did you saw that masterpiece,
huh?

We ain't playin' no game. Ain't no tellin'
what we do when our powers kick in.

Yo, this ain't our Weed Bible.
Look at this.

[Calvin]
Kama Sutra For Small Men.

Hey, dude, give--
Give me my book back!

- Oh! -Oh!
She be hittin' you from the back.

- [Tobin] Not [indistinct].
That's... that's normal. -Oh!

Dude, what you got goin' on?
What kind of fraternity is this?

Shit.

Where's our Weed Bible?

I don't know what that is.

I just bought your weed.

You know, some dude
sold it to me for cheap.

What dude that were?

I don't know.
Some dude going on about a booty cloud.

- Big Bang.
- Big Bang.

You can have that.

Yeah, we smoke our founding
brother's ashes in his memory.

Thetas.

Oh, shit.

Uh, I guess smokin'
dead people really works.

What's up, negroes?

- [founder laughs]
- [squeals]

[DJ] Sixty-eight degrees and
partly cloudy in downtown Atlanta.

Brought to you by Fye.
It's the future of high.

It's Fye. Launching tomorrow.

[DJ 2] I know everybody's
excited about that.

Jimmy, you gonna go downtown--

Trap house,

there's so many wonderful things
I could say about ya.

- But I don't feel like it.
- Big Bang, where's our Weed Bible?

What?
What you talkin' 'bout?

We know you got it,
because Tobin told us.

So Tobin told you
I had the Bible.

So just 'cause Tobin told you
somethin', you believe Tobin?

Where the Bible at?

A'ight, okay, a'ight, yeah.
I got it.

A'ight, I sold him some weed and
I ain't got none of the rest,

and I ain't got your Bible no more either.
Sold that, too.

To who?

I don't know. Some white people. White
people wanna buy stuff, you sell it to 'em.

Some company called, uh,
uh, Vit-- Vit--

Ver-- Verdant Biokinetics?

That. Say it again.

Verdant Biokinetics.

Yeah, that's them,
right there, man.

They were all
in a panic to get it.

They almost ripped
my arm apart.

Someone was, "We all need it!
We all need it!"

And they paid me
a lot of money.

And that's how
I'm retiring.

Big Bang outta here.
[laughs] Bang!

What would a big tech lab
want with our weed?

I don't know. They said they gon'
make some, like, smart blunt.

That's what it was called.
Fye.

And it was Fye, too.
They let me try.

It was amazing.
Nice, clean burn.

Fruity flavors.
I think it's the future.

Although the come-down,
it's a little bad, little shaky.

But, hey, more weed better than no weed.
You know what I'm sayin'?

And they white people.
Why not trust 'em?

And you ain't know
nothin' about this?

No-- I know they've been developing
something for a while now,

but I don't know what that has
to do with your Weed Bible.

Grow house.

The Weed Bible.

How you even know
about all that?

Man, I've been bangin'
your mama for months now.

[gasps]

I saw everything.

[mama screams]

Bro, who up there
smashing your mama, bro?

- I don't know, and I don't wanna know, man.
- [mom] Ooh, baby.

- Turn this up.
- [mama] Ooh, baby!

- Look at this.
- We need to turn this up.

- Turn up the TV, man.
- Do something.

- Come on.
- I don't wanna hear that.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

- Bang!
- That was you?

And don't act so surprised.
I done told you a million times.

I thought that was just
"yo mama" jokes!

- Wait, so, you taught me
how to ride a bike. -Mm-hm.

You was at
my fifth birthday party.

Are you my daddy?

Hell no,
I ain't your daddy, boy!

- Oh.
- I look like it? Look at me.

He got a point.
He have light skin and you black as hell.

[Big Bang]
I was just being nice to you.

That's what you do, you be nice to
the kid to get close to the mom.

And she let me hit!

[mama] I heard that.

- Damn. Your mama got some ears on her.
- [door opens]

[both] We know.

There she is, baby.
[laughs]

- [laughs] Ooh! -[Big Bang] So
fine, walkin' down those stairs.

- Hi, baby.
- Hey, baby.

- Mm, you smell good.
- [laughs] I know.

Roger, listen. I told Bang to
get your butt out that game.

Had to do it.

And you...

- Ooh...
- Did I do good?

- Did I do--
- You did good, baby!

- Did I do good?
- [moaning]

- Ooh!
- Oh, my God!

- Mom, I can't unsee stuff like that.
- [Big Bang] She made me...

- Unsee this, too. And this.
And this. -Oh!

- Oh!
- [Big Bang moaning]

- [moaning]
- Oh. Ew.

- You wanna see it again?
- No, I don't wanna see it ever!

I got tapes.
You should see the other stuff.

Bang, why am I still carrying
this darn suitcase?

I don't know, baby.
Shouldn't carry nothin' but my heart.

And where's that whip at of
yours you keep tellin' me about?

It's quarter past.

Bang, there it is right there.
Look at that.

[mom] Ooh! We done came up,
baby! [moans]

Bang play no games.
Gotta go.

- Open my door for me, honey.
Come on. -I will.

I'll be back in two weeks.

Don't you drink up
all my Fanta, boy. [squeals]

- Daddy-daddy, honey.
- Get in there, sweetness.

- Oh, let me get in here. Ooh!
- Yeah!

- [mom] Get in, baby!
- [engine starts]

Work that thing, babe.

- Bye, bitches. And we's rollin'.
- [laughs]

[mama] Ooh!

Wow. So that's that?

So, um, this is where
you guys live?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Okay.

If Big Bang took our Bible,
and sold it to the tech company,

I'm thinking,
let's just go get it back.

I mean, Alicia,
you work there, right?

So I'm sure there's no problem with
getting the CEO to hear us out. Right?

Well, hold on.
Guys, today's been--

I don't even know what today's been.
I can't do that.

We're talking about my job here,
my whole career.

- No.
- So now you're a corporate girl.

Thought that place
stressed you out.

Roger, no offense,

but you wouldn't know the first
thing about holding down a job.

- Yeah, I wouldn't know the first
thing... -I worked my ass off

to get to where I am, and I put
it all on the line for you today.

Just 'cause you work
at some big, fancy job,

that don't mean
you better than anybody.

I ain't no bum.

Okay, well, why don't you just
say what you really mean, then.

What I'm saying is,

you look real strange working for
them people that stole our stuff.

I'm just trying to figure out what
side you're on, 'cause right now,

you're looking like the Feds.

Okay.

What I'm not gonna do
is this.

So, bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- [both] Bye!

- Bye.
- ♪ Bye-bye, bye, bye-bye!

Hell she sayin'? Shit.

Talkin' 'bout it.

Where you goin', cuz?

We gotta fix this, cuz.
You know that.

Goddamn!

♪ Hey! Hey!

♪ Hey! Hey!

♪ Hey! Hey!

[echoes] ♪ Hey! Hey!

- Uh-huh, that smells real
familiar, ma'am. -Hah.

- Why aren't you smokin'
your little Fye? -Hm.

I'm sorry. Can I help you?

Oh, you're Alicia's
community guys.

Supposedly.

Yeah. And that's our weed.

Oh. Well, congratulations.
My compliments to the chef.

This is the best weed
I've ever had.

You're doing a service
to your community.

My assistant got this
off the streets.

He got your little
cookbook, too.

So there won't be
any more of this.

So you got our Weed Bible!

Through a subcontractor,
so, it's all legit.

Big Bang is not
no damn subcontractor, okay?

He stole that from us.
It's not legit.

Oh. That sounds like
a "you" problem.

- [horn honks]
- Sorry, my ride is here.

My assistant, Hayes.

Hayes?

How could you
do this to us, bro?

Sorry, bro,
I'm up for a promotion.

- I shoulda dropped your ass off.
- We should have [indistinct] his ass.

Oh, uh, we didn't just buy
your weed.

We bought everybody's weed.
And what we couldn't buy, we just took.

So the town is thirsty now.

And guess who has
the cool, refreshing answer?

Fye.

Man, what you know about Fye?

Oh, well, according to
the Urban Dictionary,

Fye is slang for fire,
as in "Fye is on fire."

Yeah, I knew all that
"woke" shit was fake!

Who, me fake?
Oh, believe me, I am 100% woke.

You should be thanking me.
I did you people a favor.

"You people"?

Fye has all the benefits
of marijuana,

while speaking
to the modern consumer.

Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, syncs all your
contacts, and it's legal.

There isn't gonna be a stoner
in Atlanta without one.

And then
the rest of the country.

Dealers go to jail,
but I'm gonna be rich.

I knew you was a snake, woman.
I knew it!

Damn braids, man.

Oh. Sorry, not sorry.

I have a launch
to get ready for.

"Fye is the future
of relaxation."

Here, gentlemen, try some.

Much love, brothers.

[speaking gibberish]

- That's what we shoulda did.
- Fye her ass up, man.

- Shoulda said... [speaking
gibberish] -[Ana] Let's go, Hayes.

Yo, man,
I just can't catch a break.

It don't make no sense.

Man, to be honest, cuz,
forget the weed, forget the Bible.

We might as well just start
over, get a brand-new hustle.

[sighs] Nah, man.

I'm tired of starting over
with you. It-- it don't work.

Y'all wouldn't even
be selling weed

if you woulda just showed up
at the bank, dawg.

Man, I been hustling
to help you with your dreams.

I don't give a damn
'bout no snacks.

I'm just tryin' to be
a good cousin, bro.

And you know what?
You gonna stop blamin' me

for all your problems
that go wrong in your life, man.

I know you're not gonna
smoke that.

Oh, this gettin' smoked.

[snoring]

Ooh, shoot.
My wig 'bout damn came off.

Boy, you need to
clean this room up.

[snoring]

Yo, look at Roger over here,
sleepin'.

- Waste our time. Let's get 'im.
- [laughs]

Baby Powder,
what the hell you doin' here?

We heard about the Bible.

- Mm-hm.
- [laughs]

I did what you said, but...

[sighs] it's gone, now.
It's--

[woman] It's gone.

I let y'all down.

- You didn't let us down.
- Oh, no.

- You let the people down!
- The people!

- You screwed up.
- Mm.

- I oughta knock the green Now
and Later juice out... -No!

Thanks. That's helping me a lot,
making me feel better.

Let me explain
something to you.

- See, the Europeans...
- School him!

...they took the weed
and they gentrified it.

The saltine crackers.

They came in and mixed it up,

- put they own bells and whistles on
it, man. -You.

- And made it they own.
- You listening?

- And you gotta stop them.
- You.

How? The weed you gave me,
gave me superpowers, man.

Without that, I'm just
a broke-ass stoner, man.

[woman] Yeah. That's true.

Boy, that weed didn't give you
no superpowers.

Boy, you not a part
of The Avengers.

Ain't no Black Panther
up in you.

[growls]

But he right.

But how?

I don't understand.

You were just high.

None of that shit was real
to what you was thinkin'.

[woman]
Boy, just think about it.

[growls]

[grunts]

Ow.

- [grunts]
- [Roger] Shoot!

Goddamn!

[speaks Russian]

[speaking gibberish]

[speaks Russian]

[laughs]

[Baby Powder] Uh,
that weed didn't give you no superpowers.

What the hell's he doin'?

[coughs]

All that other shit
that you thought was happening,

- that wasn't real.
- Duh.

- Yes, you were just high.
- Just high.

The point is,
it's not the weed.

- It's you.
- It's you.

This is your destiny, boy.

It's your job, Kool-Aid head.

Save the weed. Yeah.

[both] Save the weed!

Save weed?

Wait. Hold up.

If the power wasn't real,
how am I talkin' to y'all two right now?

Oh.

You not talkin' to us.

It's all in your imagination.

You sittin' on the couch, high.

You smoked 30 blunts,
you bum!

[woman] You bum!

- Come on, where the... Come on.
- Yeah. We got it.

- Come on.
- Oh, yeah, it's time.

- Come on.
- It's time.

- Yeah.
- Get 'im.

Let it fly.

[laughs]

Damn.

Hey, cuz.

Did the gorilla in the cowboy
hat come talk to you, too?

What? No. Baby Powder did.

- What'd he say? -He said we need
to stop Ana and save the weed.

- Hm.
- What'd the gorilla say?

I don't know.
He was speaking Japanese.

But you know what?
Baby Powder is right.

We gotta stop her ASAP, cuz,
'cause I smoked that Fye.

What happened?

[screams]

My body's still actin' weird.

Yo, man,
we gotta stop that leech, cuz.

And there's only one way.

Assemble a team of potheads.

♪ Run wild

♪ I'm on a mission
And I won't stop ♪

Oh, kids!

Party's over.
My dealer needs me!

Scram!

Oh, I got a text.

Hell, no.
They tryna take our weed.

- The hell you got goin' on, man?
- Oh, uh-uh.

Look, I'm gonna holla at y'all later.
I gotta go. I'll be back, okay?

- Where are you going?
- How dare you?

Baby, be your own
gay best friend, here.

♪ Don't judge me
You only live once ♪

♪ Homies in the back
So we gotta live it up ♪

Shit! Boys in trouble.
What-- That weed need me! I be right back!

♪ I'm on a mission
And I won't stop ♪

♪ No destination
But it's worth a shot ♪

[laughing]

♪ You gotta let me go

♪ You gotta let me go

♪ You gotta let me go

Somebody actually needs me.

♪ You gotta let me go

♪ You gotta let me go

♪ Yeah, yeah
You gotta let me go ♪

[phone chimes]

Roger?

- [sighs] Thanks for comin' out.
- Mm-hm.

We really need your help getting
into the press event tonight.

Oh, so you just came here
to ask me for help?

You're not gonna apologize for
anything that you said the other day?

You called me a bum.

Actually,
you called yourself that.

But if the shoe fits,
sweetie, wear it.

- "If the shoe fits"?
- Uh-huh.

No, I'm sorry.

- Did you know your boss the one
who dried out Atlanta? -Shh!

Do you know how paranoid
you sound right now?

Maybe you should stop
smoking so much weed.

I'm serious!

She did it so she could sell a new
weed gadget without competition.

Yo. Fye is messing people up.

I got the pictures
to prove it.

Now, look. Calvin got these.
These are the Fye test subjects.

I-- I need your help.

[camera clicking]

[beeping]

Okay, okay, okay. And stop.
Stop, stop!

[Ana] Whether it's stress at
work, the bills piling up,

or the kids driving you
a little crazy,

there's lots of times you wish you
could get high, but you just can't.

Until now.

Introducing Fye,

the clean, safe, totally legal
alternative to weed.

Take it anywhere,
from the beach to the boardroom.

Fye does it all.
There's no more need for weed.

Now, there's Fye.

[cheering]

Hey. My name is Blac Youngsta.

And when I need a futuristic
high, I smoke the Fye.

Uh, C. King. Thank you.

D. Nuhz.

[grunts]

[man on PA] Now,
please welcome our founder and CEO,

Ana Cheever.

[cheering]

All right.

Thank you.

Yeah.

All right. All right. All right.

- Yeah, we did it.
- You're so great!

Do you like what you saw?

You liked it?

Okay, okay.

Marijuana is a problem
in our community.

And making weed legal
is not the solution.

But replacing it with something better,
cleaner, and safer is a solution.

And we've done just that.
And it is Fye.

[cheering]

All the weed in Atlanta is hidden
somewhere in this building,

and we gotta find it.

Don't even trip.
I already got somebody on it.

My cousin.

[grunts]

Attack, ass.

[Ana] You know, when I started
my company back in my dorm,

at my women's liberal arts
college where I studied--

[grunts]
Get your ass back down.

- [grunts]
- Shit.

[phone chimes]

Let's do this.

You got it, babe.

- [Ana] My vision...
- Babe? She called me "babe"!

- She called me "babe"! [laughs]
- I heard. I heard! I heard.

[Ana] ...little bird houses.
Other than that, my vision never--

[grunts]

And now let's bring
the world together.

Oh.

That is not part of the presentation.
Technical difficulties.

Can we get this fixed, please?

Thanks, Ana. [laughs]

Hi, everyone.

My name is Calvin,
and this here is my cousin, Roger.

[Ana] Oh, my mic--

Can you get my mic back on,
please?

And we came here today

to stop Verdant from destroying one
of the greatest American institutions.

Marijuana.

Can we get Security up here,
please?

- Chil', y'all like to see this!
- Yeah!

- Get it in there.
Oh, seriously. -Dude!

Chil', you oughta see
all the weed they got in there.

- Oh!
- That's at least a gram.

- Weed is not the problem.
- Talk to 'im, cuz.

The man is the problem.

- Actually, in this case, the woman...
- [gasps]

...y'all women.

Security, please.
Security, please--

Yo, we're dyin' out here.
We need that smoke.

Hey, Jasper, how much longer?

I got that [indistinct]
get it right.

The weed, gotta...
[indistinct]

Talkin' about? Feel me?

Uh, two-- two minutes?

Weed is natural. Okay?

It's not some machine that you
can just plug 'em into the wall

to get a charge-up. No. No.

This woman over here is turning
y'all into junkies for profit.

- [crowd murmuring]
- Fye is not fly.

Look what it did to me.

[all exclaiming]

- [Ana] I had nothing to do with it.
- [Calvin] Look at it.

Yes, weed coming from my nipple!
This is what Fye did!

I told you not to smoke
that shit!

Well, my nipples
be leaking, bro.

[squeals]

[speaking gibberish]

You got that smoke.
Gotta goddamn fill up

for the goddamn...
[indistinct]

Get sucked up and go in
the thing and come back.

[Calvin] Come on. "Real weed!"

- [all] Real weed!
- Come on, y'all!

[all] Real weed!

- [woman screams]
- Help!

- [Roger] Real weed!
- [Calvin screams]

- Real--
- [laughter]

[Roger] Go, bro!

[grunts]

Let's get back
to the presentation, shall we?

Hold up.

There's something very important I want
you guys to all know about my boss,

the wonderful, caring,
community-minded, super woke CEO.

Alicia, thank you.

Finally someone's talking
some sense around here.

My friend Calvin, there, he actually
recorded something that you guys should see,

so, let's just go 'head
and hit it. Okay.

Uh... Oh.

- Oh, no. Wait.
- [Calvin laughs]

[Alicia] No, no, no!

Okay, all right.

Oh, we didn't just buy your weed.

We bought everybody's weed. And what
we couldn't buy, well, we took that.

- [all gasping]
- Well, we took that.

- Took that. -[Alicia] Did you hear it?
You heard it?

And guess what the cool,
refreshing answer is?

Fye.

Me, a fake?
Oh, I assure you, I am 100% woke.

[all gasp]

Dealers go to jail,
but I'm gonna be rich.

- You should thank me.
I did you people a favor. -[all] Oh!

[slo-mo] Thank me.
I did you people a favor.

[all gasping]

Yup. You see? And my friends
Calvin and Roger here,

they're the ones
that tried to stop her.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

[booing]

Hey, man, get off me, and go arrest a
white woman for once! Get off of me!

You know what?
I'm just gonna go.

Why's you all waitin'?
You didn't wait on me.

Real weed.

[all chanting] Real weed!
Real weed! Real weed! Real weed!

[man on PA] Now,
to celebrate the return of weed,

- please welcome Blac Youngsta!
- [music playing]

[cheering]

Let's have a li'l party. Yeah.
What's up, guys?

♪ Twerk, twerk
Twerk ♪

♪ Girl, I wanna see you twerk

♪ I'll throw a li'l money
If you twerk ♪

♪ I don't really think
You could twerk ♪

♪ Twerk, twerk
Twerk ♪

♪ If you broke, go to work

♪ Make that big booty twerk

♪ Make that big booty twerk

♪ Twerk, twerk

♪ Pop it, stop it
Drop it, pop it ♪

♪ If I hit Alexis Skyy

♪ I'm a mother... rocket
Twerk, twerk ♪

♪ Shit
I ain't got no heart ♪

♪ I can't be loyal to you

♪ You weren't here
From the start ♪

♪ Twerk, twerk

♪ Twerk

♪ Girl, I wanna see you twerk

♪ I'll throw a li'l money
If you twerk ♪

♪ I don't really think
You could twerk ♪

♪ Twerk, twerk
Damn ♪

♪ Money don't walk
I gotta go and get it ♪

♪ Shake that booty
I'll come visit ♪

♪ If you thick, I might hit it

♪ Twerk, twerk

♪ Can I touch that booty?

♪ That booty
That big ol' booty ♪

♪ Shake that booty
Can I lay on the booty? ♪

♪ Mike Tyson on the booty

♪ Copyright that booty

- [cheering]
- [whistling]

♪ ...off the Xan
We might act up ♪

♪ Kamikaze, 'cause you know
We all strapped up ♪

♪ Your... she want me
'Cause she seen a nigga
Stacked up ♪

♪ But I can't keep her
I just want to beat her
Back up ♪

♪ Now I'm in the 'rari
Switching lanes ♪

♪ Pulled up to the strip
And they all know my name ♪

[squeals]

Yo, I'm sorry
I ever doubted you.

I shoulda always knew
you were ride or die.

Yeah, well,
this is the best time I've had in--

Actually, I don't even know.

Me, too. Yo, so, like,

when we goin' out?

Look at you,
being all assertive.

Well, you know,
we did just disrupt

a multi-million-dollar
corporation.

And we saved weed.
So, I'm feelin' kinda good.

I bet you I can make you
feel even better.

- Oh, you can make me feel better.
- Yeah?

Yeah.

- [Tobin] Go, dude!
- [cheering]

My man!

- I mean...
- Yeah!

Get a room!

♪ I feel good, I feel great

♪ I feel good, I feel great

♪ I feel good, I feel great

♪ Hope you feel the same way

[doorbell rings]

Yo, Two Smacked. Got a ravioli
nachos and a gumbo dog for ya.

Yeah.

Roger? That you?

Yo, Zesto's dude!

- What's up?
- What's happenin'?

Man, just sittin' here
starving, bro.

I see you still out here tryna scrounge
around and be a delivery boy, huh?

- No, man. Actually,
I own Two Smacked, bro. -Word!

Yeah, we just closed
another round of financing,

putting our value
over 150 million.

That's my whip,
right there.

- [man] That's you?
- [Roger] Yeah, man.

Wow. Why you out here
delivering the food?

Oh, I just like staying
connected to the customer.

You're the customer.
I'm staying connected.

You're my last job before
we go somewhere special.

My girl just got upgraded to
VP, so, she earned a rest.

Ain't that right, babe?

I'm waiting, babe.

Gotta go, man.
And enjoy that.

Damn.

I think I just got ate.

♪ All night
I've been watching you ♪

♪ So tonight
You're leaving with me ♪

♪ I've been waiting
My whole life
To give you it all ♪

Let's go.

♪ It's on now

♪ We forever young

[squeals]

[Roger] Let's go!

[Calvin] Hey!

[screams]
Where are we goin'?

[Alicia] Make this thing fly!

♪ But we could be together
Forever ♪

♪ But we could be together

♪ Forever and ever

♪ I wanna live life with you

♪ Forever and ever

♪ Together

♪ Forever young

♪ Forever young

♪ We forever young

♪ Shining bright
Under the shining sun ♪

♪ Like moonshine
You keep it 99% with me ♪

♪ I'm feeling all your energy

♪ I know you love
To vibe with me ♪

♪ I know you love
To ride with me ♪

♪ Your favorite thing
To say is ♪

♪ "Boy, I love when
You're inside of me" ♪

♪ Your love is like
A high to me ♪

♪ I love to go out of my way
To make sure you stay happy ♪

♪ We forever young

♪ The music's loud
And I'm feeling wild ♪

♪ Come dance along
With the golden child ♪

♪ I don't know much 'bout you
Let me check your file ♪

♪ Two technical
But you beautiful ♪

♪ You grew up
Six brothers in a cubicle ♪

♪ And they all bustin' for ya
If I make the wrong move ♪

♪ If I break your heart
Then I'm a dumb dude ♪

♪ You get what you give
And I'm the one who loses ♪

♪ But we could be together
Forever ♪

♪ We could be together

♪ I wanna live life with you

♪ Forever and ever

♪ Forever together

♪ Forever young

♪ Forever young

[up-tempo music plays]

[repeating]
♪ Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!