All language subtitles for Escape To The Chateau DIY S02E13.720p.HDTV.x264-LiNKLE.English

and along with my wife Angel and our
two children, we've spent the

and along with my wife Angel and our
two children, we've spent the

last four years turning an abandoned
chateau into our dream home.

last four years turning an abandoned
chateau into our dream home.

last four years turning an abandoned
chateau into our dream home.

No way!

No way!

It's not just where we live.

And you're in charge of the kitchen!

It's where we work.

We're in business!

We're in business!

And it turns out, we're not the only
Brits who've crossed

And it turns out, we're not the only
Brits who've crossed

the Channel for the chateau life.

Dinner time!

Now Angel and I are back,

Now Angel and I are back,

guiding more owners
on their chateau adventure.

guiding more owners
on their chateau adventure.

How big is your pot of gold?

Not big enough, I'm afraid!

If you stand where I'm standing,
I think it looks quite lovely.

If you stand where I'm standing,
I think it looks quite lovely.

Go, go, go!

We'll work with some
familiar faces...

We'll work with some
familiar faces...

Welcome!

..and some who are new to
chateau life,

..and some who are new to
chateau life,

as they battle to
renovate their homes...

as they battle to
renovate their homes...

Come the next nuclear holocaust,
this will be what's left!

Come the next nuclear holocaust,
this will be what's left!

..and make them work as businesses.

..and make them work as businesses.

Have you got everything
done on the list? No.

Have you got everything
done on the list? No.

Ta-dah!

There will be ups

and downs.

If this glass breaks, there's going
to be more euros in my swear jar.

If this glass breaks, there's going
to be more euros in my swear jar.

GLASS CRACKS

But however hard the going gets,

But however hard the going gets,

for these plucky Brits,

their homes really
are their castles.

their homes really
are their castles.

Today, Mum doesn't always know best.

Today, Mum doesn't always know best.

You know what, this is a bad idea,
cos if we drop it,

You know what, this is a bad idea,
cos if we drop it,

it's going to dent the floor.

Abbie, we're not going to drop it.

That's your fault.

Angel lends a helpful hand.

Oh, this is great, this
is where the creativeness is

Oh, this is great, this
is where the creativeness is

and I am just the
technical part, OK?

and I am just the
technical part, OK?

One chateau buyer's property
plans hit a problem.

One chateau buyer's property
plans hit a problem.

It still has a big hole
in the ceiling!

It still has a big hole
in the ceiling!

Voila, it still has to be fixed.

It has been ordered, but, you know,
the builders are very busy.

It has been ordered, but, you know,
the builders are very busy.

And it's all hands to the deck,
clearing a lake.

And it's all hands to the deck,
clearing a lake.

It's now four idiots with no clue,
and a ratchet strap!

It's now four idiots with no clue,
and a ratchet strap!

It's now four idiots with no clue,
and a ratchet strap!

But we do have high-vis!

The 17th-century Chateau Domaine
de La Salle sits in 52 acres.

The 17th-century Chateau Domaine
de La Salle sits in 52 acres.

The 17th-century Chateau Domaine
de La Salle sits in 52 acres.

It has 12 bedrooms,
two gites and its own forest.

It has 12 bedrooms,
two gites and its own forest.

It has 12 bedrooms,
two gites and its own forest.

Johnno and wife Mariam bought it two
years ago for £315,000.

Johnno and wife Mariam bought it two
years ago for £315,000.

Johnno and wife Mariam bought it two
years ago for £315,000.

The estate agent had described it as
a sleeping beauty needing awakening.

The estate agent had described it as
a sleeping beauty needing awakening.

The estate agent had described it as
a sleeping beauty needing awakening.

We did fall in love with it,
I have to say.

We did fall in love with it,
I have to say.

It's located 70 miles north
of Bordeaux, on the west coast.

It's located 70 miles north
of Bordeaux, on the west coast.

Mariam was a fashion designer
and Johnno a bespoke tailor,

Mariam was a fashion designer
and Johnno a bespoke tailor,

and they've lived all over
the world, most recently Dubai.

and they've lived all over
the world, most recently Dubai.

and they've lived all over
the world, most recently Dubai.

Now they want to settle in France
and run the chateau as a B&B.

Now they want to settle in France
and run the chateau as a B&B.

We're very excited about this
new venture.

It's so completely different to
what we've done before.

It's so completely different to
what we've done before.

We like challenges.
Adversity!

Let's put it like that!

Let's put it like that!

Local builders have been working
on the chateau for four months,

Local builders have been working
on the chateau for four months,

and it's used
up their renovation funds.

and it's used
up their renovation funds.

We had a budget, which has now gone.

We had a budget, which has now gone.

It's sort of finished.

I don't exactly know when we're
going to run out of money.

I don't exactly know when we're
going to run out of money.

But that's why we need to get
our B&B up and running ASAP, so we

But that's why we need to get
our B&B up and running ASAP, so we

But that's why we need to get
our B&B up and running ASAP, so we

don't have that moment between not
having money and having an income.

don't have that moment between not
having money and having an income.

I don't know what you call that
period - bankruptcy!

I don't know what you call that
period - bankruptcy!

Today, the couple,
their 16-year-old son Monty

Today, the couple,
their 16-year-old son Monty

and three cats are finally
moving into the chateau.

and three cats are finally
moving into the chateau.

I really have no idea what we're
going to find!

I really have no idea what we're
going to find!

We are completely
crazy for taking this on.

We are completely
crazy for taking this on.

There's no doubt about that.

Right, here we are.

La Salle.

I'm suddenly not tired again,
having arrived.

I'm suddenly not tired again,
having arrived.

I don't know,
just excited to see it.

I don't know,
just excited to see it.

Voila!

Oh, my God - there are so
many cars, there's

so many people still working.
There's a lot going on.

so many people still working.
There's a lot going on.

Wheeeee!

It's the first time
Mariam and Johnno

It's the first time
Mariam and Johnno

will see the builders' progress.

will see the builders' progress.

Ca va? You all right? Ca va?
Tres bien!

Ca va? You all right? Ca va?
Tres bien!

Jean Jacques is the project manager.

Salut, Jean Jacques. Ca va?

Salut, Jean Jacques. Ca va?

Ooh!
Wow!

Ooh!
Wow!

Looks good, works well.

On the ground floor, the walls have
been insulated and plastered,

On the ground floor, the walls have
been insulated and plastered,

floors installed
and new plumbing put in.

floors installed
and new plumbing put in.

Oi, oi, oi! He said don't touch!

Oi, oi, oi! He said don't touch!

Yeah, but I had to touch,
all the same.

No!

I forgot how wide it was -
it's really cool, actually.

I forgot how wide it was -
it's really cool, actually.

Much nicer than what I had imagined

Much nicer than what I had imagined

and I'd forgot
that the walls are wide.

and I'd forgot
that the walls are wide.

It just looks so different,
I don't know why.

Yeah, it looks smaller.

Yeah, it looks smaller.

Some of the ceilings have been
lowered to accommodate new

Some of the ceilings have been
lowered to accommodate new

pipes for the upstairs bathrooms.

pipes for the upstairs bathrooms.

It's not the effect Mariam
was hoping for.

It's not the effect Mariam
was hoping for.

I feel like this ceiling is even
lower than everywhere else.

I feel like this ceiling is even
lower than everywhere else.

You think it's too low as
well, Mariam?

You think it's too low as
well, Mariam?

Yes!

What?

Yeah, I think I made a big mistake.

Oh, my God - you made a big mistake?

Because I'm not terribly
experienced in plumbing,

Because I'm not terribly
experienced in plumbing,

I didn't think that you needed some
pipes at the bottom of the bathroom!

I didn't think that you needed some
pipes at the bottom of the bathroom!

And that's why it's
come down so low.

It's a bit hard to change it now,
isn't it?

I know.

It's so hard to communicate exactly
what you want from a distance

It's so hard to communicate exactly
what you want from a distance

and understand
the impact of your decisions.

and understand
the impact of your decisions.

It's manic and there are
so many people here.

It's manic and there are
so many people here.

Uhhh. Yeah, it's quite nice, really.

It's quite nice, cos you
feel that it's justifying

It's quite nice, cos you
feel that it's justifying

the bills we've been getting.

You know it's actually happening!
Maybe.

You know it's actually happening!
Maybe.

But it is cool,
seeing it come together,

But it is cool,
seeing it come together,

but, oh, my God - there is
still so much work.

This is not going to be
a bed and breakfast

This is not going to be
a bed and breakfast

room for the summer, which is
what I was thinking.

Looks like it's going to be a while
until the chateau starts

Looks like it's going to be a while
until the chateau starts

making that much-needed income.

making that much-needed income.

This, here?

Ooh!

Oh!

SHE LAUGHS

They've mowed some
words into the grass.

They've mowed some
words into the grass.

"Welcome La Salle." Ah!

"Welcome La Salle." Ah!

No!

A lovely welcome.

And it helps soften the next blow.

We were told that a bathroom was
going to be ready.

We were told that a bathroom was
going to be ready.

Our facilities tonight are a loo
that one can use

Our facilities tonight are a loo
that one can use

and a bucket of water next to it!

and a bucket of water next to it!

Cos there's actually no
flowing water yet.

If I can stay awake,
we're going to have some cold beers!

If I can stay awake,
we're going to have some cold beers!

It's been a long voyage pour la
maison ici, et ca va continuer.

It's been a long voyage pour la
maison ici, et ca va continuer.

It's been a long voyage pour la
maison ici, et ca va continuer.

It's going to carry on some more,
but anyway, here's to it!

It's going to carry on some more,
but anyway, here's to it!

Yeah. Cheers.

150 miles away,
the 36-bedroomed Chateau du Doux

150 miles away,
the 36-bedroomed Chateau du Doux

lies in the spectacular
Dordogne Valley.

lies in the spectacular
Dordogne Valley.

IT consultant Clive bought

this former hotel ten years ago, for
his wife Karen and three children.

this former hotel ten years ago, for
his wife Karen and three children.

this former hotel ten years ago, for
his wife Karen and three children.

We all have very strong ideas
of how things should be done.

We all have very strong ideas
of how things should be done.

They just argue all day long.

They just argue all day long.

This is my daily life and why
I love working with my parents!

This is my daily life and why
I love working with my parents!

As Clive and Karen divide their time
between here and the UK,

As Clive and Karen divide their time
between here and the UK,

they've handed over
the reins of running the chateau

they've handed over
the reins of running the chateau

to 20-year-old daughter Abbie.

to 20-year-old daughter Abbie.

To make the chateau pay its way,
they host weddings.

To make the chateau pay its way,
they host weddings.

I mean we were pretty silly to
purchase a building of this

I mean we were pretty silly to
purchase a building of this

I mean we were pretty silly to
purchase a building of this

size and think we wouldn't have to
make it work to pay for itself.

size and think we wouldn't have to
make it work to pay for itself.

They've recently refurbished
some guest rooms

They've recently refurbished
some guest rooms

and renovated some bathrooms.

With their largest wedding
of the season coming up in just

With their largest wedding
of the season coming up in just

under a month, there's a big
decision to make about wallpaper

under a month, there's a big
decision to make about wallpaper

for one of the rooms.

Do you want to go first?

I'm just doing it gently,
so not to ruin the edges.

I'm just doing it gently,
so not to ruin the edges.

Do you want to put yours down?

I was going to say that,
cos I'll hold yours.

I was going to say that,
cos I'll hold yours.

I was going to say that,
cos I'll hold yours.

It's really pretty, actually, Abs.

I just thought, if the room was
quite plain... Hmm.

I just thought, if the room was
quite plain... Hmm.

It looks quite wedding-y - this
isn't the bridal suite.

It looks quite wedding-y - this
isn't the bridal suite.

No, but all the guests
are associated with the wedding,

No, but all the guests
are associated with the wedding,

so I thought it might be nice to
reflect that in the paper.

so I thought it might be nice to
reflect that in the paper.

Let's hold it up against the wall
and see what do you think.

Let's hold it up against the wall
and see what do you think.

Because I did wonder at first
whether it might be a bit busy,

Because I did wonder at first
whether it might be a bit busy,

but then I thought, no,
it offers some

but then I thought, no,
it offers some

depth and interest.

Mmmm. I'm not sure.

Mmmm. I'm not sure.

I think it's too many colours,

because we've picked blue,
soft furnishings.

All right.

I prefer just one colour,
it's a bit too much for me.

I prefer just one colour,
it's a bit too much for me.

Sometimes it can be frustrating,
cos you all have different ideas

Sometimes it can be frustrating,
cos you all have different ideas

and you have to compromise or go
with somebody else's idea,

and you have to compromise or go
with somebody else's idea,

and you have to compromise or go
with somebody else's idea,

but it's...

Yeah, I guess
it's part of it -

part of sharing a family business
and all being part of it.

part of sharing a family business
and all being part of it.

Which do you prefer? This one.

No, I like this one more,
definitely.

You stand back and I'll hold it.

You got it?

Sorry, yes - you go and have a look.

Sorry, yes - you go and have a look.

Definitely that one, 100% that one.

Definitely that one, 100% that one.

Yeah, no - that one looks
so much better.

Does it?
Yeah.

That's what I envisaged.

I agree with you.
Yes.

Look, you go have a look.

It's not too much.

I like the other one,
but this is more sophisticated,

I like the other one,
but this is more sophisticated,

I think. Whoops!

Look, that's definitely.

Look, that's definitely.

No, I prefer that.
Definitely this one.

No, I prefer that.
Definitely this one.

We're going this one.
Right you are.

We're going this one.
Right you are.

There we go, we both agree -
that's fantastic.

There we go, we both agree -
that's fantastic.

For once!

Decision made -
the next job will be to put it up

Decision made -
the next job will be to put it up

and then sort out the other
rooms in time for the wedding.

and then sort out the other
rooms in time for the wedding.

Coming up.

Mariam visits Angel at our place.

Mariam visits Angel at our place.

Don't worry about making it
perfect around the edge,

Don't worry about making it
perfect around the edge,

because the white isn't going to
transfer onto the white.

because the white isn't going to
transfer onto the white.

You can't tell a Virgoan
not to make it perfect!

You can't tell a Virgoan
not to make it perfect!

Oh, I know, sorry!

Oh, I know, sorry!

Voila. Elle est jolie, celle-la.

Elle est tres jolie.
Trois euros.

One chateau owner unearths
her culinary roots.

One chateau owner unearths
her culinary roots.

I remembered I had my grandma's
cookery book.

I remembered I had my grandma's
cookery book.

I found something that's
called boeuf mode.

I found something that's
called boeuf mode.

And at Chateau du Doux...

Oh, my God,
do you know how heavy that is?

Oh, my God,
do you know how heavy that is?

..baby beds are a cause for concern.

..baby beds are a cause for concern.

It's not going to go in.

You actually are flipping joking me.

This isn't actually funny.

The 19th-century Chateau de
Montvason lies in Normandy

The 19th-century Chateau de
Montvason lies in Normandy

and has 30 rooms spread over
two wings.

and has 30 rooms spread over
two wings.

It's now home to Emma and her
partner, Paul,

It's now home to Emma and her
partner, Paul,

who bought it two years ago

for £278,000.

for £278,000.

They've renovated the east wing

and have even welcomed some guests.

You guys have done a great job!

Thank you! Well hopefully
you'll like the bedrooms too.

Thank you! Well hopefully
you'll like the bedrooms too.

It's been a year and a
half of hard slog!

It's been a year and a
half of hard slog!

They've now started doing up
the west wing.

They've now started doing up
the west wing.

We both love old things, that's why
we like each other!

We both love old things, that's why
we like each other!

And, um...we love the features
and the light.

And, um...we love the features
and the light.

We've, together, renovated about six
or seven places before here.

We've, together, renovated about six
or seven places before here.

Just never this big.

So, we work really well
together as a team.

That's just as well...

That's just as well...

..as they've still got a lot of
renovation left to do.

..as they've still got a lot of
renovation left to do.

The last year and a half has been

getting up at five o'clock in
the morning,

getting up at five o'clock in
the morning,

having dinner at six

and working through till ten.

and working through till ten.

It's been a hard, harsh slog.

It's been a hard, harsh slog.

Seven days a week. Yeah.

Seven days a week. Yeah.

No holiday.

Today, Emma and Paul can take
a break from DIY,

Today, Emma and Paul can take
a break from DIY,

as they're hosting a 60th birthday
party

as they're hosting a 60th birthday
party

for one of their close friends.

for one of their close friends.

I am preparing, um, a
three-course meal

I am preparing, um, a
three-course meal

for our friend Jim.

It's his 60th birthday and he's
chosen to spend it here,

It's his 60th birthday and he's
chosen to spend it here,

which is fantastic.

which is fantastic.

So, I'm going to do something
traditionally quite French

So, I'm going to do something
traditionally quite French

as the main course - I was thinking
of doing a Boeuf Bourguignon,

as the main course - I was thinking
of doing a Boeuf Bourguignon,

and I remembered I had my grandma's
cookery book.

and I remembered I had my grandma's
cookery book.

It's Granny's...cooking Bible.

It's Granny's...cooking Bible.

So, I had a look through it, hoping
to find a Boeuf Bourguignon,

So, I had a look through it, hoping
to find a Boeuf Bourguignon,

which she used to make for my dad,
it was his favourite,

which she used to make for my dad,
it was his favourite,

and I couldn't find one!

So, I was like, "Oh, no! What
am I going to do?"

So, I was like, "Oh, no! What
am I going to do?"

But I found something that's quite
similar, which is called Boeuf Mode.

But I found something that's quite
similar, which is called Boeuf Mode.

And Boeuf Mode is actually made with
white wine and Madeira,

And Boeuf Mode is actually made with
white wine and Madeira,

so I'm not sure how this is
going to pan out.

so I'm not sure how this is
going to pan out.

I'm pretty sure she switched the
white wine for red,

I'm pretty sure she switched the
white wine for red,

but I'm going to try and do it,

stay faithful to this original
recipe, and see how we go.

stay faithful to this original
recipe, and see how we go.

So, it's off to the market for some
fresh ingredients

So, it's off to the market for some
fresh ingredients

and any advice about Grandma's
recipe Emma can get.

and any advice about Grandma's
recipe Emma can get.

I'm actually French.

I don't have an accent, but
I was born in Paris.

It feels like home, it's where
all my family are.

It feels like home, it's where
all my family are.

So, it's fantastic to...

So, it's fantastic to...

..be back here.

So, I asked him if I could use red
instead of white wine,

So, I asked him if I could use red
instead of white wine,

he said yes, but normally this
recipe is with white.

he said yes, but normally this
recipe is with white.

So, I think I might try it
with white.

So, I think I might try it
with white.

Bonne journee. Au revoir!

Now it's back to the chateau to
start cooking

Now it's back to the chateau to
start cooking

before the six guests arrive in
a couple of hours' time.

before the six guests arrive in
a couple of hours' time.

Back at Chateau du Doux,

Clive, Karen and 20-year-old
daughter Abbie

Clive, Karen and 20-year-old
daughter Abbie

are renovating their guest rooms.

are renovating their guest rooms.

Having chosen the wallpaper for
one of the rooms,

Having chosen the wallpaper for
one of the rooms,

they now need to sort the furniture,

ready for their biggest wedding
of the summer, in three weeks.

ready for their biggest wedding
of the summer, in three weeks.

With babies to accommodate, mum
Karen has ordered three new cots.

With babies to accommodate, mum
Karen has ordered three new cots.

With babies to accommodate, mum
Karen has ordered three new cots.

Mum's favourite cots!

Ow! At the bottom... Ow!

Could you pull it off?

Oh, yes!

That actually hurt!

You know what, this is a bad idea.

Cos if we drop it, it's going to
dent the floor, whereas on the

Cos if we drop it, it's going to
dent the floor, whereas on the

stone it's not going to dent the
stone.

Abbie, we're not going to drop it.

Abbie, we're not going to drop it.

Seems like Abbie's warning is
falling on deaf ears -

Seems like Abbie's warning is
falling on deaf ears -

but that's an original
parquet floor.

but that's an original
parquet floor.

If I lift it, can you pull the
bubble wrap off? If you -

If I lift it, can you pull the
bubble wrap off? If you -

oh, is that a good idea?

oh, is that a good idea?

As long as you don't touch it.

Was that your toe?

Let's hope that's not as bad
as it sounded.

Let's hope that's not as bad
as it sounded.

That's paint, that'll come off.

No, it's dented.

Oh, dear. And the cot is dented.

Oh, dear. And the cot is dented.

Oh... That's your fault.

Oh... That's your fault.

There's a big gouge in that.

Yes, but you can easily get that off
with Jif, Abbie. No, you can't, Mum.

Yes, but you can easily get that off
with Jif, Abbie. No, you can't, Mum.

This is why we don't need
more baby cots.

Abbie usually uses travel cots,
which fold away after use.

Abbie usually uses travel cots,
which fold away after use.

And they're much easier to
move around.

Oh, my God, do you know
how heavy that is?

Oh, my God, do you know
how heavy that is?

Shall we just try it, make sure it
goes through the doorway?

Shall we just try it, make sure it
goes through the doorway?

Are you OK? Um...

Yes, or no? I guess.

Yes, or no? I guess.

Let me know...if you have a problem.

Let me know...if you have a problem.

It's not going to go in.

You actually are flipping joking me.

You actually are flipping joking me.

This isn't actually funny.

This isn't actually funny.

How about the doorway...? So we're
going to have to take it apart

How about the doorway...? So we're
going to have to take it apart

and assemble it in the rooms.

and assemble it in the rooms.

No - well, yes, we will.

No - well, yes, we will.

We're not using them.

I'm not doing that every wedding.

That's really irritating.

For me, it's stupid having a cot
if you can only use it for one room.

For me, it's stupid having a cot
if you can only use it for one room.

For me, it's stupid having a cot
if you can only use it for one room.

I want one that I can put in any
room and move quickly and easily.

I want one that I can put in any
room and move quickly and easily.

So they see if they have better
luck with another door.

So they see if they have better
luck with another door.

It won't go in here, Ab.

Perhaps not.

Mum, the cot's rubbish.

It's not rubbish, don't be silly.

You're going to have to buy
a different baby cot,

You're going to have to buy
a different baby cot,

or we just use the travel cots,
which is what we've got.

or we just use the travel cots,
which is what we've got.

So, shall I put this one on eBay?

So, shall I put this one on eBay?

No! Absolutely not.

Karen's not giving up that easily.

Karen's not giving up that easily.

Big brother Ross joins them to try
another of the new cots

Big brother Ross joins them to try
another of the new cots

in an outbuilding apartment.

in an outbuilding apartment.

Er, I can't see.

Ow!

But that's hardly child's play,
either!

But that's hardly child's play,
either!

Oh, you are joking me....

Will it come in? No.

Will it come in? No.

Aargh!

There's no way that's going
through there!

There's no way that's going
through there!

For me, it's irritating, cos we've
just spent a load of money

For me, it's irritating, cos we've
just spent a load of money

on the cots, and now we're not even
going to be able to use them.

on the cots, and now we're not even
going to be able to use them.

So, either we resell them...

..or they just sit there,
doing nothing.

..or they just sit there,
doing nothing.

So...I'll have to argue that
one with my mum!

So...I'll have to argue that
one with my mum!

Will it even fit in the bedroom?

I guess if we pull this...

I guess if we pull this...

..that way, it'll go in.

Why don't we just put a travel cot
in here? How old's the baby in

Why don't we just put a travel cot
in here? How old's the baby in

here? Are you joking? You want to
use the travel cots

here? Are you joking? You want to
use the travel cots

after all of that? Yeah,
but some are better than others.

after all of that? Yeah,
but some are better than others.

I really wanted...

I didn't want to use the one with a
hole in it, cos it looks so poor.

I didn't want to use the one with a
hole in it, cos it looks so poor.

None of them have holes in, I don't
get your fascination

None of them have holes in, I don't
get your fascination

with wooden baby cots.

Cos it's backfired on you.

Fair enough, then. That's it.

It must be gin and tonic time!

It must be gin and tonic time!

Now, that sounds like a jolly
good idea to me.

Now, that sounds like a jolly
good idea to me.

At Chateau Domaine de la
Salle in south-west France,

At Chateau Domaine de la
Salle in south-west France,

Mariam, Johnno and 16-year-old son
Monty

Mariam, Johnno and 16-year-old son
Monty

are waking up for their first day of
chateau life,

are waking up for their first day of
chateau life,

after moving in yesterday.

after moving in yesterday.

Delays to the renovations means
they're living in a building site.

Delays to the renovations means
they're living in a building site.

This is our kitchen, for the time
being - this is all we have.

This is our kitchen, for the time
being - this is all we have.

We're using the builders' cafetiere.

We're using the builders' cafetiere.

I did actually buy our own coffee,
but that's about it, really.

I did actually buy our own coffee,
but that's about it, really.

That's how we live. We don't even
have a teaspoon for the time being.

That's how we live. We don't even
have a teaspoon for the time being.

Cos I forgot to buy it at
Carrefour!

The chateau doesn't have
any running water,

The chateau doesn't have
any running water,

so Monty has to use an outside tap.

so Monty has to use an outside tap.

As the sinks are all out, I'm just
doing a bit of washing up.

As the sinks are all out, I'm just
doing a bit of washing up.

I don't really mind roughing it,
really.

I don't really mind roughing it,
really.

They said the rooms would be done in
a couple of days,

They said the rooms would be done in
a couple of days,

so I think it'll probably be about a
week or two at the most.

so I think it'll probably be about a
week or two at the most.

And Mariam is on latrine duty.

And Mariam is on latrine duty.

It's for our loo!
SHE GIGGLES

It's for our loo!
SHE GIGGLES

Um, there's no flush, so if
we want to go to the loo,

Um, there's no flush, so if
we want to go to the loo,

we need to carry a bucket of
water ourselves!

we need to carry a bucket of
water ourselves!

I thought the plumbing was going to
be sorted yesterday.

I thought the plumbing was going to
be sorted yesterday.

I hope we'll have running water
tonight.

I hope we'll have running water
tonight.

It would be really nice, cos it's
very hot at the moment.

It would be really nice, cos it's
very hot at the moment.

We went to shower at the project
manager's house yesterday.

We went to shower at the project
manager's house yesterday.

he very kindly let us shower there.

Without running water, there
will be no B&B,

Without running water, there
will be no B&B,

so the pressure's on.

so the pressure's on.

While the building carries on inside
the chateau,

While the building carries on inside
the chateau,

Johnno and Monty get to work on
an old tractor in the barn.

Johnno and Monty get to work on
an old tractor in the barn.

It's been laid up over winter, we
haven't...turned it over since then

It's been laid up over winter, we
haven't...turned it over since then

and we're going to try and see
if we can get it going, basically.

and we're going to try and see
if we can get it going, basically.

It's a beauty - an old 1950s Fergie.

It's a beauty - an old 1950s Fergie.

They're still used by farmers all
over the region

They're still used by farmers all
over the region

and it could be handy for them, too.

We're going to use the tractor
for general work around the farm.

We're going to use the tractor
for general work around the farm.

We're going to use the tractor
for general work around the farm.

Something to cut the grass,
a plough.

Something to cut the grass,
a plough.

That's if Monty can work his magic
and get it started.

That's if Monty can work his magic
and get it started.

I love cars, and well, yeah,
old vehicles in general.

I love cars, and well, yeah,
old vehicles in general.

Not modern ones, they're all boring,
it's just computers,

Not modern ones, they're all boring,
it's just computers,

but older ones, I really enjoy.
I'm just...

but older ones, I really enjoy.
I'm just...

..working on an old Land Rover
at the moment, as well,

..working on an old Land Rover
at the moment, as well,

that we're restoring, so...

From the same year as this one.
Yeah, actually, 1958.

From the same year as this one.
Yeah, actually, 1958.

Although I'm no great mechanic,
and he is, so he's basically, um...

Although I'm no great mechanic,
and he is, so he's basically, um...

..learnt a lot more than I have,
really, but I know the basics.

..learnt a lot more than I have,
really, but I know the basics.

Pump the lift pump... Pump the lift
pump, yeah. ..the little knob on
the injection.

Pump the lift pump... Pump the lift
pump, yeah. ..the little knob on
the injection.

The moment of truth.

OK, ready?

Yeah. OK.

TRACTOR SPLUTTERS

JOHNNO CHUCKLES

OK, that's a flat battery.

OK, that's a flat battery.

Well, it wouldn't be any fun
if it started first time!

Well, it wouldn't be any fun
if it started first time!

Mariam's having some fun of her own.

She's designing tiles for
a boot room.

I'm trying to sketch out roughly
the tiles that I might like.

I'm trying to sketch out roughly
the tiles that I might like.

Or just one tile that I might like.

I sketch around and see what looks
good and at the end of it,

I sketch around and see what looks
good and at the end of it,

hopefully there'll be something
there.

hopefully there'll be something
there.

The tiles will be used as a surround
for a butler's sink

The tiles will be used as a surround
for a butler's sink

they want to put in.

they want to put in.

Mariam's struggling to find a local
tile maker to help her.

Mariam's struggling to find a local
tile maker to help her.

But you know who's a dab
hand at that?

But you know who's a dab
hand at that?

I think Angel is probably much
better at all the modern processes

I think Angel is probably much
better at all the modern processes

I think Angel is probably much
better at all the modern processes

and technologies than I am,
being a little bit younger than me!

and technologies than I am,
being a little bit younger than me!

Um, and so, with her knowledge,

Um, and so, with her knowledge,

some of the ideas I have might
actually be put into reality.

some of the ideas I have might
actually be put into reality.

It'll be really, really fun to see
what comes out of it.

It'll be really, really fun to see
what comes out of it.

So Mariam is visiting Angel
at our chateau,

So Mariam is visiting Angel
at our chateau,

to get some help turning her
designs into tiles.

to get some help turning her
designs into tiles.

Hi! Hello!

Welcome!

How are you?

Very good. Yeah?

I'm not good at travelling! Oh!

In the four years since we bought
our place,

In the four years since we bought
our place,

Angel has made lots of bespoke tiles

Angel has made lots of bespoke tiles

and saved us a fortune in the
process.

and saved us a fortune in the
process.

That's the bridge and the canal.

That's the bridge and the canal.

Gorgeous! Where we wanted to have
a little drink in the evenings.

Gorgeous! Where we wanted to have
a little drink in the evenings.

Oh, lovely.

That's the house. Oh!

That's the house. Oh!

Mariam has sketched three
different tile designs.

Mariam has sketched three
different tile designs.

Oh, this is great.

This is where the creativeness is,

and I am just the technical part,
OK?

and I am just the technical part,
OK?

Angel makes the tiles by first
scanning the design into a computer.

Angel makes the tiles by first
scanning the design into a computer.

Angel makes the tiles by first
scanning the design into a computer.

A template is then printed with
a special ink, that reacts to heat.

A template is then printed with
a special ink, that reacts to heat.

A template is then printed with
a special ink, that reacts to heat.

Then she cuts the template to size

Then she cuts the template to size

before it goes into a heat transfer
machine, on top of a blank tile.

before it goes into a heat transfer
machine, on top of a blank tile.

before it goes into a heat transfer
machine, on top of a blank tile.

Don't worry about making it
perfect around the edge,

Don't worry about making it
perfect around the edge,

because the white isn't going to
transfer onto the white.

because the white isn't going to
transfer onto the white.

And then we can whack that on there.

And then we can whack that on there.

You can't tell a Virgoan not
to make it perfect.

You can't tell a Virgoan not
to make it perfect.

Oh, I know! Sorry!

Oh, I know! Sorry!

The artisans are all
going mad with me

The artisans are all
going mad with me

because I'm wanting everything
symmetrical.

I'm feeling a bit of pressure, now!
No, no, no!

I'm feeling a bit of pressure, now!
No, no, no!

Next job will be the exciting bit -

Next job will be the exciting bit -

to actually start pressing
the tiles.

Coming up -

it's time for one chateau-shopper
to make a decision...

it's time for one chateau-shopper
to make a decision...

I'm so excited to be
here for the second time.

I'm so excited to be
here for the second time.

I want to see everything.

I want to go over everything again
and just really

I want to go over everything again
and just really

check everything out.

My heart's going already.

..it's a testing time at
Chateau du Doux...

..it's a testing time at
Chateau du Doux...

Oh, no - it's going.

FIRE ALARM BLARES

..Johnno and Monty try a
jump-start...

..Johnno and Monty try a
jump-start...

No.

..and the party's under way
at Emma and Paul's.

..and the party's under way
at Emma and Paul's.

Let's celebrate being here with this
strange green cocktail!

Let's celebrate being here with this
strange green cocktail!

Chateau Domaine de la
Salle's owner, Mariam,

Chateau Domaine de la
Salle's owner, Mariam,

is visiting Angel to learn how to
turn her tile design into reality.

is visiting Angel to learn how to
turn her tile design into reality.

is visiting Angel to learn how to
turn her tile design into reality.

After a few minutes in the heat
transfer, the first tile is ready.

After a few minutes in the heat
transfer, the first tile is ready.

After a few minutes in the heat
transfer, the first tile is ready.

There's something about doing a tile
for someone else that's quite...

There's something about doing a tile
for someone else that's quite...

SHE GASPS
..nerve-racking! Ahhh!

SHE GASPS
..nerve-racking! Ahhh!

Right, I am a tiny, little
bit out, but you what?

Right, I am a tiny, little
bit out, but you what?

You won't really know that.
So all you can...

You won't really know that.
So all you can...

Ooh, that's fantastic!
Or you could use it as a trivet.

Ooh, that's fantastic!
Or you could use it as a trivet.

There we go.
Absolutely fantastic.

When I initially investigated
to do the kitchen,

When I initially investigated
to do the kitchen,

When I initially investigated
to do the kitchen,

I was being quoted £10 a tile,

I was being quoted £10 a tile,

and the saving from me
just buying the system

and the saving from me
just buying the system

and the saving from me
just buying the system

and the saving from me
just buying the system

was thousands, and it's been great.

Every time I think, "Ooh, a little
tile area would work,"

Every time I think, "Ooh, a little
tile area would work,"

I can do it, I haven't got... That's
brilliant. ..to pay a fortune.

I can do it, I haven't got... That's
brilliant. ..to pay a fortune.

I just do it myself,
I like having that control.

I just do it myself,
I like having that control.

As Mariam and her husband Johnno
have already spent their renovation

As Mariam and her husband Johnno
have already spent their renovation

budget, a tip like this is a useful
way for them to save money.

budget, a tip like this is a useful
way for them to save money.

You're quite an intelligent,
creative lady,

You're quite an intelligent,
creative lady,

it's just where you
learn your new skills.

it's just where you
learn your new skills.

Don't be scared of this side of it.

Yeah, I know.
It's very exciting, actually,

thinking of what I can do with it.

Another one, hot off the press.

Oh, yeah - looking good.

Oh, yeah - looking good.

It's only looking good
cos of your artwork, by the way!

It's only looking good
cos of your artwork, by the way!

Yeah, yeah - right!
Well, well, it is!

Yeah, yeah - right!
Well, well, it is!

There we go, we're
getting somewhere.

There we go, we're
getting somewhere.

That's really cool.

Oh, that looks wicked.

Before you know it,
you've got a whole set.

Before you know it,
you've got a whole set.

Last but not least,
your little kitty-catties.

Last but not least,
your little kitty-catties.

Ahh!

There you go. Brilliant!

I think it looks nice! Well done.

I think it looks nice! Well done.

Yeah! Well, thank you, well done
you, I think that's very clever,

Yeah! Well, thank you, well done
you, I think that's very clever,

the way you've done that.

Well, I just facilitated your lovely
artwork, so, um...

Well, I just facilitated your lovely
artwork, so, um...

Well, I couldn't do it, could I?

Well, I couldn't do it, could I?

So... You could! The difference
is that I truly, truly believe

So... You could! The difference
is that I truly, truly believe

that anyone could. That's the thing.

I can't draw, so...

Oh, I think everyone can draw!

Oh, I think everyone can draw!

Shall we go and let these cool...
Yeah, OK. ..and have another cup of

Shall we go and let these cool...
Yeah, OK. ..and have another cup of

tea before we say goodbye? Yeah!
Lovely.

tea before we say goodbye? Yeah!
Lovely.

For you! Thank you! Thank you,
that's really brilliant.

For you! Thank you! Thank you,
that's really brilliant.

Best of luck with the tiles,
but best of luck with everything.

Best of luck with the tiles,
but best of luck with everything.

Yeah, thank you!

And stay in touch. I'll send you
a photo. I'd love to see one.

And stay in touch. I'll send you
a photo. I'd love to see one.

Angel's very encouraging, she's
inspired me to get one of those

Angel's very encouraging, she's
inspired me to get one of those

machines and hopefully, I'll be able
to do something with it.

machines and hopefully, I'll be able
to do something with it.

I reckon it would be worth
every penny.

I reckon it would be worth
every penny.

Back home, at Chateau Domaine
de la Salle, hubby Johnno

Back home, at Chateau Domaine
de la Salle, hubby Johnno

and son Monty are trying to
get the old tractor working.

and son Monty are trying to
get the old tractor working.

After reconnecting,
the battery failed.

They've roped in a neighbour
to give them a jump-start.

They've roped in a neighbour
to give them a jump-start.

Salut, Dom.

The positive's going on.

The positive's going on.

Positive is on.

Ah, that's more like it.

Glow plug is on, we'll just
wait for it to warm up again.

Glow plug is on, we'll just
wait for it to warm up again.

Je pense que c'est pret.
OK, I think it's ready.

OK.

OK, maintenant, on va essayer.

Ah. Aha. It's, it's...

Ah. Aha. It's, it's...

Nothing? No, there was a bit,
I could hear it a bit.

Nothing? No, there was a bit,
I could hear it a bit.

Je vais... Oh, OK.

No.

OK, merci pour avoir... Merci.

OK, merci pour avoir... Merci.

So, basically, we're still not
getting enough power with the van,

So, basically, we're still not
getting enough power with the van,

so we're just going to have to
recharge the battery overnight

so we're just going to have to
recharge the battery overnight

and take it from there.

and take it from there.

A few days later and
with the battery charged,

A few days later and
with the battery charged,

Monty and his friends
try the tractor again.

Monty and his friends
try the tractor again.

OK. Let's just check if the
manifold's hot enough - yep.

OK. Let's just check if the
manifold's hot enough - yep.

OK, should be good.

ENGINE STALLS

ENGINE STALLS

Hmm.

Why don't you try a bit of
Start Pilot, Mont,

because otherwise you'll flatten the
battery before you have a chance.

because otherwise you'll flatten the
battery before you have a chance.

Yeah, you're right.

Monty sprays a little magic into the
engine that should help it start.

Monty sprays a little magic into the
engine that should help it start.

And let's go.

ENGINE STARTS
Yay!

Success at last.

Success at last.

This old faithful will be
a godsend around the grounds.

This old faithful will be
a godsend around the grounds.

85 miles south-east, Julia is
looking for her perfect chateau,

85 miles south-east, Julia is
looking for her perfect chateau,

so she can move back to Europe.

so she can move back to Europe.

It's been a dream of my sisters'
and myself since we were children,

It's been a dream of my sisters'
and myself since we were children,

It's been a dream of my sisters'
and myself since we were children,

to have a chateau in France.

to have a chateau in France.

She moved to Australia as a
teenager, but now is back with

She moved to Australia as a
teenager, but now is back with

sisters Melissa and Sarah, who are
helping Julia with her tough choice.

sisters Melissa and Sarah, who are
helping Julia with her tough choice.

sisters Melissa and Sarah, who are
helping Julia with her tough choice.

It's very daunting. It's daunting
cos you can't make a wrong decision

It's very daunting. It's daunting
cos you can't make a wrong decision

It's very daunting. It's daunting
cos you can't make a wrong decision

with the property, you've
got to pick the right one.

with the property, you've
got to pick the right one.

So that's hard.

Since being here, the sisters have
viewed four very diverse chateauxs.

Since being here, the sisters have
viewed four very diverse chateauxs.

Since being here, the sisters have
viewed four very diverse chateauxs.

Some hit the mark.

Really love this room - that
fireplace is absolutely gorgeous.

Really love this room - that
fireplace is absolutely gorgeous.

Really love this room - that
fireplace is absolutely gorgeous.

And others didn't quite.

And others didn't quite.

The building is exceptional, but
it's a very different proposition.

The building is exceptional, but
it's a very different proposition.

The building is exceptional, but
it's a very different proposition.

However, the one Julia
has really fallen for

However, the one Julia
has really fallen for

is this five-bedroomed, elegant
manor house, 60 miles from Bordeaux,

is this five-bedroomed, elegant
manor house, 60 miles from Bordeaux,

is this five-bedroomed, elegant
manor house, 60 miles from Bordeaux,

which sits in six acres of land
and has outbuildings.

which sits in six acres of land
and has outbuildings.

At £420,000, it's well under
Julia's £530k budget.

At £420,000, it's well under
Julia's £530k budget.

At £420,000, it's well under
Julia's £530k budget.

We wanted beautiful,
original floors, which we have,

We wanted beautiful,
original floors, which we have,

we wanted the fireplaces,
which we have.

Staircase - it's ticking
a lot of boxes, this one.

Staircase - it's ticking
a lot of boxes, this one.

Oh, my goodness! Oh, heaven!

Oh, my goodness! Oh, heaven!

Oh, my goodness! Oh, heaven!

I don't want to admit it in front
of the agent, but I love it!

I don't want to admit it in front
of the agent, but I love it!

After four weeks of searching,
her sisters have returned home,

After four weeks of searching,
her sisters have returned home,

leaving Julia on her own.

So today she's decided to revisit
her favourite property,

So today she's decided to revisit
her favourite property,

Chateau de Crognac,
for a second viewing.

Chateau de Crognac,
for a second viewing.

The facade of the building,
actually,

The facade of the building,
actually,

is in really good condition.

It is, actually.

It's just the shutters that make it
look a bit shabby.

It's just the shutters that make it
look a bit shabby.

But once they're fixed up,
it's going to look very smart.

But once they're fixed up,
it's going to look very smart.

I'm so excited to be
here for the second time!

I want to see everything -
I want to go over everything again

I want to see everything -
I want to go over everything again

and just really check everything out

and just really check everything out

and see how I feel after seeing all
the other chateaux in between.

and see how I feel after seeing all
the other chateaux in between.

OK, perfect.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Given it's hundreds of years old,
the chateau is in good nick,

Given it's hundreds of years old,
the chateau is in good nick,

but there's one issue Julia
wants to double-check.

but there's one issue Julia
wants to double-check.

It still has a big hole
in the ceiling!

It still has a big hole
in the ceiling!

Voila, it has to be fixed.
So when is that going to be done?

Voila, it has to be fixed.
So when is that going to be done?

It has to be done this year -
it has been ordered, but you know,

It has to be done this year -
it has been ordered, but you know,

builders are very busy. OK.

builders are very busy. OK.

So it will be done?

It will, it will. Yes.

It will, it will. Yes.

Keep the pressure on, Julia.

It's important to make sure
any building work that's been

It's important to make sure
any building work that's been

promised is done before
you sign contracts.

promised is done before
you sign contracts.

Julia will need to
keep an eye on this

if she does decide to make an offer.

And you have a very
nice wooden floor.

And you have a very
nice wooden floor.

The floors in this
house are all fantastic.

The floors in this
house are all fantastic.

I'm really, really happy
with the floors.

I'm really, really happy
with the floors.

And they're so wide,
the boards are fantastic.

And they're so wide,
the boards are fantastic.

So the electrics are all working,
as we can see,

So the electrics are all working,
as we can see,

but we're not sure
if they're up to, um...regulation.

but we're not sure
if they're up to, um...regulation.

but we're not sure
if they're up to, um...regulation.

It's working, but it
has to be updated.

It's working, but it
has to be updated.

Updated, yes.

Which might just be the fuse box?

Huh, I think the cables as well.

Huh, I think the cables as well.

The cables through the whole place?

Because it has to
have a special section.

Because it has to
have a special section.

Uh-huh. OK.

So that could be an expense.

So that could be an expense.

You have to plan to, uh...voila.

Yeah. OK.

Yeah. OK.

Sensible questions.

It's important to know if you're
going to be

lumbered with any costly jobs.

On with the tour.

See, this is a lovely bedroom.

See, this is a lovely bedroom.

It's nice and light,
beautiful floors, fireplace,

It's nice and light,
beautiful floors, fireplace,

It's nice and light,
beautiful floors, fireplace,

hidden away behind that cabinet.

And the Grand Salon.

Again, we've got our
beautiful floors, huge fireplace.

Again, we've got our
beautiful floors, huge fireplace.

Again, we've got our
beautiful floors, huge fireplace.

I just think it's a really light,
gorgeous room.

I just think it's a really light,
gorgeous room.

Looking around the chateau
for the second time,

Looking around the chateau
for the second time,

I still really love it,
it's still my number one on my list.

I still really love it,
it's still my number one on my list.

I can really see myself living here.

I can really see myself living here.

It's a beautiful, beautiful place
and I think I could really

It's a beautiful, beautiful place
and I think I could really

make it into a wonderful
home for the family.

make it into a wonderful
home for the family.

Now she's seen everything again,
it's decision time.

Now she's seen everything again,
it's decision time.

I still have to work out all
the expenses

I still have to work out all
the expenses

I feel it's going to require,

I feel it's going to require,

but I'm confident that in the
near future,

but I'm confident that in the
near future,

but I'm confident that in the
near future,

there will be an offer.

I honestly don't know if I'm going
to get the result I want,

I honestly don't know if I'm going
to get the result I want,

but I hope so, so fingers crossed.

Fingers crossed indeed -
hopefully the sums add up

Fingers crossed indeed -
hopefully the sums add up

and Julia can put an offer in
on the chateau she loves.

and Julia can put an offer in
on the chateau she loves.

At Chateau du Doux, there's still
a lot to do as they're getting

At Chateau du Doux, there's still
a lot to do as they're getting

ready to host their most ambitious
wedding yet, in three weeks' time.

ready to host their most ambitious
wedding yet, in three weeks' time.

ready to host their most ambitious
wedding yet, in three weeks' time.

Although Karen and Clive bought
the chateau as a private home ten

Although Karen and Clive bought
the chateau as a private home ten

years ago,
now they're using it for guests,

years ago,
now they're using it for guests,

it means meeting lots of
safety requirements.

it means meeting lots of
safety requirements.

In keeping with our
Commission de Securite,

In keeping with our
Commission de Securite,

we have to test the fire
alarm every month.

we have to test the fire
alarm every month.

So you go Menu - so this is all
the logs of fires that we've had.

So you go Menu - so this is all
the logs of fires that we've had.

We're going to try testing
one of the sensors, which are on the

We're going to try testing
one of the sensors, which are on the

ceilings in the rooms.

I've exited that and in a minute,
it'll go off.

I've exited that and in a minute,
it'll go off.

And we're going to spray it with
a special smoke that you buy to

And we're going to spray it with
a special smoke that you buy to

test them, and then hopefully,
fingers crossed,

test them, and then hopefully,
fingers crossed,

if it all works, it should go off.

if it all works, it should go off.

Right, so where are we going to
set the alarm off?

Why don't we do room 110,
because that's one we've recently

renovated and we can double-check
that the electrics are all working?

Perfect.

It's vital they stay on top of
fire safety.

It's vital they stay on top of
fire safety.

If they fall foul of regulations,

they could risk being closed down.

Nervous already,
I just hate the noise.

I have to say, it's not my favourite
job, it's incredibly loud

I have to say, it's not my favourite
job, it's incredibly loud

and it always just...

I just don't like it,

it's so loud and it always sends me
into panic mode!

it's so loud and it always sends me
into panic mode!

Right.

Let's put it to the test.

We will spray it for three seconds,

We will spray it for three seconds,

and then there will be a slight
delay, for the sensor to pick

and then there will be a slight
delay, for the sensor to pick

up the smoke, and then the whole
alarm should go off.

up the smoke, and then the whole
alarm should go off.

My heart's going already.

SHE SPRAYS

Shall I go again?
I might not be close enough.

You need longer arms.

Oh, no - it's going!

ALARM BLARES

Right, let's go!

Normally, I operate the fire alarm
with my dad, so it's nice

Normally, I operate the fire alarm
with my dad, so it's nice

that my mum knows exactly what she's
got to do if it goes off.

that my mum knows exactly what she's
got to do if it goes off.

So, it's worked, cos it says
"first-floor bedroom,

So, it's worked, cos it says
"first-floor bedroom,

"110, fire."

"110, fire."

ALARM STOPS

Whoo! Thank you!

MUM LAUGHS

My ears are ringing!

It's that loud.
Yay!

It's that loud.
Yay!

Well done.

So that's one down,
just another 183 to go!

So that's one down,
just another 183 to go!

Over in Normandy,
at Chateau de Montvason,

Over in Normandy,
at Chateau de Montvason,

Emma and Paul are getting ready to
host a 60th birthday party

Emma and Paul are getting ready to
host a 60th birthday party

for one of their close friends.

for one of their close friends.

Emma's cooking a classic from her
grandma's old recipe book.

Emma's cooking a classic from her
grandma's old recipe book.

Emma's cooking a classic from her
grandma's old recipe book.

They didn't say which type of wine,
so I got Sauvignon,

They didn't say which type of wine,
so I got Sauvignon,

because then I can have
a sneaky glass of it.

because then I can have
a sneaky glass of it.

It just says a few carrots, a "clou"
of onions, so like a handful

It just says a few carrots, a "clou"
of onions, so like a handful

It just says a few carrots, a "clou"
of onions, so like a handful

of onions and that's how I like to
cook - I just like to grab stuff,

of onions and that's how I like to
cook - I just like to grab stuff,

of onions and that's how I like to
cook - I just like to grab stuff,

shove it in, not Cordon Bleu,

shove it in, not Cordon Bleu,

just good old French farmhouse
type cooking.

just good old French farmhouse
type cooking.

Ooh, crying!

Ooh, crying!

Emma's hoping her grandma's recipe
will wow their guests.

Emma's hoping her grandma's recipe
will wow their guests.

So the birthday boy today is Jim.

So the birthday boy today is Jim.

He's a very good friend of ours

and he's been a real supporter
since the beginning.

and he's been a real supporter
since the beginning.

and he's been a real supporter
since the beginning.

So Jim has helped with plastering,
fixed the oven...

So Jim has helped with plastering,
fixed the oven...

So Jim has helped with plastering,
fixed the oven...

You need your friends on
a project like this,

You need your friends on
a project like this,

you can't do it on your own.

you can't do it on your own.

Oh, yes!

Boeuf mode is a 17th-century
French recipe -

Boeuf mode is a 17th-century
French recipe -

but to you and me, it's beef stew.

but to you and me, it's beef stew.

Shove it in there.

# Da-dah! #

The birthday boy - Jim -
has arrived from the UK.

The birthday boy - Jim -
has arrived from the UK.

Why can't I get in?
It's my birthday!

Why can't I get in?
It's my birthday!

And...

And...

Fantastic! Woohoo!

Fantastic! Woohoo!

GREETINGS

GREETINGS

Jim! How are you buddy, all right?

Jim! How are you buddy, all right?

Birthday boy!

With all the guests here,
the party can get started!

With all the guests here,
the party can get started!

That's boy, girl.

Yeah, girl, girl, boy.

Sorry, I couldn't help it!

Sorry, I couldn't help it!

CHEERING

CHEERING

Thank you to Emma and Paul, for
allowing us to have this birthday.

Thank you to Emma and Paul, for
allowing us to have this birthday.

Oh, thank you!

Oh, thank you!

Let's celebrate being here with this
strange green cocktail!

Let's celebrate being here with this
strange green cocktail!

CHEERS
Ah, well done, baby!

Why is it green?!

Watch yourselves. Wow!

Watch yourselves. Wow!

That's what you've been
smelling all day,

I hope it's as good as it smells.

I hope it's as good as it smells.

It seems Emma's old recipe is going
to be a hit, and it might be

It seems Emma's old recipe is going
to be a hit, and it might be

a way of enticing the chaps to give
a helping hand around the chateau.

a way of enticing the chaps to give
a helping hand around the chateau.

a way of enticing the chaps to give
a helping hand around the chateau.

Bon appetit!

Bon appetit!

Cheers!

Thank you! Yum.

Give this a go.

Coming up...

Abbie and Mum fight over
furnishings...

Abbie and Mum fight over
furnishings...

This is just hideous.

It's royal blue!

And what is that pattern?

It's for...old people!

..and Paul puts his pals to work.

..and Paul puts his pals to work.

Whoops-a-daisy!

Whoops-a-daisies?

Whoops-a-daisies?

I nearly lost a boot!

And a sock!

At Chateau du Doux,
it's countdown to their biggest

At Chateau du Doux,
it's countdown to their biggest

wedding of the season,
now just two weeks away.

wedding of the season,
now just two weeks away.

There you go, I'll pass it to you.

Abbie has spent months painting old
furniture for the apartments,

Abbie has spent months painting old
furniture for the apartments,

so today they can get those bedrooms
ready.

so today they can get those bedrooms
ready.

A brand-new painted bed.

Now we just need to make the bed
and then we're nearly there.

Now we just need to make the bed
and then we're nearly there.

Oh, dear - what's that?
Oh, yeah, that was, um...

Oh, dear - what's that?
Oh, yeah, that was, um...

Was that you?

Yeah.

I turned it over too quickly.

And it didn't dry in time, and...

And it didn't dry in time, and...

I wouldn't employ you as
my full-time painter.

I wouldn't employ you as
my full-time painter.

It's OK, you don't see it when all
the bedding will be on it.

It's OK, you don't see it when all
the bedding will be on it.

Not the right attitude, Abbie.

It's my attitude - what you don't
see doesn't hurt you.

It's my attitude - what you don't
see doesn't hurt you.

Oh, ha...

It seems like they've found
something else to disagree on.

It seems like they've found
something else to disagree on.

This is just hideous!

This is just hideous!

Well... It's disgusting!
..I think it's quite pretty.

Well... It's disgusting!
..I think it's quite pretty.

What is that? The...

What is that? The...

It's like "death blue".

It's royal blue!

It's not royal, it looks
like...

It's not royal, it looks
like...

..blue that's died.

It's royal blue. The only problem...

And what is that pattern?
It's for...old...people...

And what is that pattern?
It's for...old...people...

Now you're treading on dangerous
territory, my girl!

Now you're treading on dangerous
territory, my girl!

And then you've got cushions
that are way too big!

And then you've got cushions
that are way too big!

No, you did, you plonker!

No, you did, you plonker!

You told me to order the big ones.

No, I didn't - I think you weren't
paying attention to me at all.

No, I didn't - I think you weren't
paying attention to me at all.

Look at the size of that!

Well, Mum asked me to buy
some cushions online.

Well, Mum asked me to buy
some cushions online.

And she nagged me and nagged me,
I said, "OK, I'll do it."

And she nagged me and nagged me,
I said, "OK, I'll do it."

So, I clicked on the first one
she sent me and I clicked "order".

So, I clicked on the first one
she sent me and I clicked "order".

The perils of online shopping.

I like it, but I think those
cushions are a little too big.

I like it, but I think those
cushions are a little too big.

The cushions are too big.

You should have ordered them
when I asked you to

You should have ordered them
when I asked you to

and then the order would have
been correct.

and then the order would have
been correct.

I'm a bloke, I don't understand
cushions.

I'm a bloke, I don't understand
cushions.

Job done! Painted, finished.
It will do.

Job done! Painted, finished.
It will do.

For this season, it's good,
I'm happy.

It's good enough.

Back in the main chateau, it's all
coming together, too.

Back in the main chateau, it's all
coming together, too.

Ah!

Yes, that's rather comfortable!

Yes, that's rather comfortable!

So, time for a few finishing
touches.

So, time for a few finishing
touches.

I'm absolutely delighted,
because these tiles, normally,

I'm absolutely delighted,
because these tiles, normally,

for a 30cm length of it,
you pay about...

for a 30cm length of it,
you pay about...

for a 30cm length of it,
you pay about...

..10, 15 euros.

And I went into a shop and it
was end of stock, buy now,

And I went into a shop and it
was end of stock, buy now,

one euro a strip.

I like saving money. Dad wanted
the expensive ones,

I like saving money. Dad wanted
the expensive ones,

but I put my foot down and said no.

So, he has 15 times the amount
for the same price.

So, he has 15 times the amount
for the same price.

So, I was quite happy with that.

Abbie's persistence has paid off.

Abbie's persistence has paid off.

The family has managed to transform
two bathrooms.

The family has managed to transform
two bathrooms.

They've completely retiled and
replaced the bathroom suites.

They've completely retiled and
replaced the bathroom suites.

Yeah, they've come out really well.
Fantastic, in fact.

Yeah, they've come out really well.
Fantastic, in fact.

At one point I was wondering
about the tiles,

At one point I was wondering
about the tiles,

but when the white suites went in,
um...

but when the white suites went in,
um...

..actually it's quite a nice
contrast.

..actually it's quite a nice
contrast.

With the wallpaper and furnishings
done in the extra guest bedroom,

With the wallpaper and furnishings
done in the extra guest bedroom,

they're one step closer to being
ready for the wedding.

they're one step closer to being
ready for the wedding.

We are delighted that the
renovation is done.

We are delighted that the
renovation is done.

It was a little bit stressful - we
had to work all through the weekend,

It was a little bit stressful - we
had to work all through the weekend,

we've had builders here doing
overtime, but...

we've had builders here doing
overtime, but...

..we've got there and it's done.
A successful result, I think.

..we've got there and it's done.
A successful result, I think.

Success, yes.

I think they can all give themselves
a big pat on the back,

I think they can all give themselves
a big pat on the back,

but let's not forget -

there's still a lot to do before
the wedding!

there's still a lot to do before
the wedding!

Back at Chateau de Montvason,
in Normandy,

Back at Chateau de Montvason,
in Normandy,

it's the morning after the big
birthday bash.

it's the morning after the big
birthday bash.

Paul's taking the opportunity

of having some extra labour

and puts the chaps to work.

That's a big tree! That's a big
bugger, isn't it?

That's a big tree! That's a big
bugger, isn't it?

Paul and Emma want to host
a variety of events.

Paul and Emma want to host
a variety of events.

They have an artists' retreat
booked in six weeks' time

They have an artists' retreat
booked in six weeks' time

and want to use the lake for
one of the art classes.

and want to use the lake for
one of the art classes.

We're going to chuck a young lady in
the watery end of the lake

We're going to chuck a young lady in
the watery end of the lake

We're going to chuck a young lady in
the watery end of the lake

and they're going to do some
special drawings.

and they're going to do some
special drawings.

I think it's Ophelia in the lake,

I think it's Ophelia in the lake,

but at the moment it's Ophelia in
the bog!

When you come out, you don't come
out just to have a holiday.

When you come out, you don't come
out just to have a holiday.

You come out and work. You got it?
Yeah.

You come out and work. You got it?
Yeah.

Right, Gary, don't...

..do yourself.

It's now four idiots with no clue
and a ratchet strap!

It's now four idiots with no clue
and a ratchet strap!

Yeah, yeah.

But we do have high-vis!

But we do have high-vis!

What could go wrong?

What could go wrong?

I can think of quite a lot
of things.

All right?

Whoops-a-daisy!

Stay there... Whoops-a-daisies?!

Nearly lost a boot!

And a sock.

Whoa, you blighter!

This has been brilliant, because,
you know, doing it with just

This has been brilliant, because,
you know, doing it with just

one or two of you is not really
that possible.

one or two of you is not really
that possible.

You know, you can, but it's going
to take a lot of time.

You know, you can, but it's going
to take a lot of time.

But these guys have been absolutely
sterling, you know?

But these guys have been absolutely
sterling, you know?

Where do you want it, Paul?
Oh, uh, by the fire.

Where do you want it, Paul?
Oh, uh, by the fire.

It's looking nice and tidy now.

It's looking nice and tidy now.

Time to celebrate another
achievement.

Time to celebrate another
achievement.

While there's still a lot of work
to do in the chateau,

While there's still a lot of work
to do in the chateau,

the lake is ready for their next
event - the artists' retreat.

the lake is ready for their next
event - the artists' retreat.

the lake is ready for their next
event - the artists' retreat.

EXPLOSIONS

CHEERING

Next time... They're not going to
notice that there's not a door

Next time... They're not going to
notice that there's not a door

until they go to bed!

..one couple are behind schedule...

..one couple are behind schedule...

I don't think that we're ready to
host a Mad Hatter's tea party,

I don't think that we're ready to
host a Mad Hatter's tea party,

let alone a selection of guests,
but anyway, there we are.

let alone a selection of guests,
but anyway, there we are.

..there's a breakfast blip at
Du Doux...

..there's a breakfast blip at
Du Doux...

Cafetiere time - we're
out of coffee.

..as Abbie comes to the rescue...

Dad only filled it up halfway.

What'd he do that for?
Well, it's Dad, isn't it?

What'd he do that for?
Well, it's Dad, isn't it?

..and things aren't going so well
for Paul and Emma...

..and things aren't going so well
for Paul and Emma...

Oh, my word.

What, what, what, what, what?

Just horrible.

..as they tackle a watery problem.

..as they tackle a watery problem.

SHE SCREAMS

Subtitles by Red Bee Media

Subtitles by Red Bee Media