All language subtitles for Chomp-CMRG

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Where were you?
- I was at work.

You said you'd
be home at three.

No, I said four,
three is on my Tuesdays.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Mm.

Oh, hey, George quit today.

- Who?
- George Amora from Logidex.

- Oh, George.
- Never mind.

No, go on.

You're not...

Well, he quit today.

Said he's gonna go
be a swamp person.

What does that mean?

He wants to hunt alligators.

Eating a $350,000 annual income,

'cause, I mean,
he's high up in Logidex.

Leaving to go hunt alligators, I mean, that's,
I guess it's a whole lifestyle thing,

lifestyle change,
the life of a swamp person.

I guess there's all
sorts of other things

that go along with it,
but still, it just sounds so...

doesn't that seem just dangerous?
Stupid, I mean...

Sam, hon, I'm sorry,
I can't do this right now.

Yeah. Okay.

I'm just really busy.

That's... yeah, I sort of
figured.

Well, you reached me.

I'm Lotus, and yeah,

I guess I'm not around.

So just, yeah,
guess I'll call you back, bye.

Okay, bye.

- Hey, Mom, I need to ask...
- I can't talk right now.

Shit.

- Tony, hey.
- Hey, Jackson.

I got a new batch for you,
it's called Filipino...

Oh, sounds great,
but, um, actually

got a bunch of jungle snow left
from Casey.

Casey? No, no, you don't wanna...
he cuts with laundry detergent.

So if you want
a soapy nose, then...

Yeah, well, I've been
using it for about two weeks

and I haven't found any
soap bubbles up there yet,

still, but your stuff
is better, always is,

unfortunately I'm currently
pretty broke right now,

but if you wanted
to hang out tonight,

I'd be super down to smoke
in the park or something.

Weren't you
invited to the Chapel party?

- What?
- Yeah, the Chapel party,

Lotus says the cops
can't shut it down

if it's technically
a religious gathering, so.

Oh, right, the Chapel party.

Might go, need to check. Um...

Did you maybe want to smoke
before that, like earlier today?

- What, you wanna buy?
- Nah, just, just hang out, really.

Uh, we don't really have that
kind of relationship, Jackson.

- No, I know, you don't have to be such a dick about it.
- I wasn't...

Yeah, well that's how
you're coming off, so.

- Okay, I gotta go, so...
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Sam, what are we doing for dinner?

Oh, uh, I bought sandwiches.

- Sandwiches?
- Well, yeah.

- Why sandwiches?
- You didn't wanna go out.

Uh, no, I don't have time
to go out, but sandwiches?

Well, yeah 'cause last week
you wanted food and I forgot.

So, today I bought food
before you texted me about it.

That's not dinner food.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I guess you're right.

- What?
- I think it's one of those scammers,

like what happened with Marcus.

This girl is saying she's...

From work.

Uh...

No, this is real... this is real.

The, uh... There's a problem
with the computers.

I gotta go get water.

Oh, don't use the fridge water.
The dispenser's broken.

Okay.

Uh, I gotta head out to the...
the computers at work

are acting funny and Jed wants
me to have a look at them.

When are you gonna be back?

I don't know,
probably not too long,

depends on what the problem is.

What are you wearing?

- Boots.
- Boots, are those snake skin?

- Yeah, I wanted to change it up.
- A snake died for those?

That one's a little snug,
I gotta go.

You look ridiculous, Sam.

Thanks, Deborah.

You're Addy?

Yeah, I mostly go by Jackson.

Whoa.

Yeah.

So what is this?

Why are you saying
you're my daughter?

Because I'm your daughter.

Wait, is this a trick for money?

I just wanted to meet you.

Clarice would have
told me if she had a kid.

I don't know,
she said you two had

a pretty big fight
before she left school,

and I'm not defending her
for not contacting you,

just that's what she said
she did.

How long did you know
that I was your...

Oh, I mean, I knew
my whole life.

Yeah, I tracked you down
about six months ago

and it turns out we live
like half an hour away

and I was debating
on and off for awhile

whether or not I
should contact you,

'cause on the one hand
it was like,

"Oh, here's my dad,"

and on the other hand,
I don't know,

I thought it could be weird,
but then, you know,

I had sort of
a strange day today. so...

So, I figured why not?

Did you know that I existed or...

Not until your text.

Right, that's
what my mom said.

What else did she tell you?

You two dated for
a year in college,

and she dropped out before
she knew she was pregnant.

She never told you about it.

It was about three years,

but yeah, that's about right.

How's Clarice doing?

She's good, bit of a wreck,
we don't talk much anymore.

That's... I'm sorry.

It is what it is.

I like your jacket.

Thanks.

Who's that on your T-shirt?

Oh! Um, Lizzie Borden,
probably should've changed.

- Who's Lizzie...
- She murdered her family with an ax in the 1800s.

Oh!

Lizzie Borden took
an ax, gave her mother...

- 40 whacks.
- Yeah, it's a buddy of mine,

he has this stupid T-shirt...
murder tees.

He gave me a bunch for free, so I've just
got them lying around and I found Borden,

obviously, Bundy,
Manson, Dahmer,

and they're supposed to be for teens trying
to be edgy, but they're not selling too well.

You know, I just think they're
not recognizable enough.

You know, he needs to
label them or something.

Like, let's be honest,
if you saw Jeffrey Dahmer's face

- on a T-shirt, like, would you recognize it?
- No, I don't think I would.

See, Jeffrey Dahmer just isn't
an icon in today's popular culture.

I'm sorry, I don't think
I can do this.

- What?
- You seem great and I really wanna get to know you,

but I just don't think
I can do this right now.

I'm not asking to move in
with you or anything, I just...

I know, it's just I didn't
even know you existed,

and now all of a sudden...

I got to go.

What? So should I just not
contact you ever again or?

No, no. I'll contact you
when I'm...

- Seriously?
- Just please, I...

Okay, bye.

I just...

Please, I... I'm...

- Hey.
- Hey. What, uh...?

Oh, how'd it go?

- What?
- Did you get dinner?

Huh?

Oh, they had a pro...

there was a problem
with the... the m-meat.

Sam.

Danny, I'm so sorry,
I'm sorry, Danny.

What do you want?

Tell me what you want,
please, please, tell me.

Get back her right now, Danny.

Danny, Danny!

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

- You didn't answer your phone. Sam, we gotta go.
- Jackson?

- Yeah, yeah. Listen...
- What...

The man, the mouth man
who ate the girl...

- What?
- He showed up at my apartment 20 minutes ago...

Let me finish! He showed up at
my apartment 20 minutes ago

with his mouth all big
and chompy.

I figure if he's coming for me,
he's coming for you too.

- We gotta go!
- But what is he?

No clue, we're gonna go
find out.

I'm sorry, you want me to get...
no, no, no,

I'm not going with you
in the middle of the... no, no!

You're gonna get eaten!

Well, I...

Sam, what's going on?

- Who's this?
- This is...

- Oh, my God, Sam.
- Did you not tell her?

Deborah,
this it's not, it's not...

Oh, it's not, is it?

Excuse me, are you
fucking my husband?

You didn't tell her, okay. Um, no,
I'm his daughter, and Sam, we gotta go.

- I'm not going.
- What?

He had me in college, I just met him.
We have to go!

- Sam is this real?
- Well, it's not as simple...

- And you didn't tell me?
- Well, I just found out.

- When?
- Today.

- When today?
- At the...

Wait, is that what
you were texting about?

Oh, for fuck's sake,
will you two stop arguing

so we can leave
and not get eaten?!

You said it was
about computers!

- I don't want... no.
- What are you talking about?

Big mouth man ate a girl,
we gotta go.

- No!
- What?

- That's it!
- Oh, my God!

Sam, we're leaving now.

- No!
- I'm calling the police.

No! I will throw this knife
at your face,

and I'm a goddamn
circus freak at knife throwing.

I was in the army.

- Get your shoes on.
- No!

Get your shoes on.

Okay, okay, but I'm not going.

- Mm-hmm.
- Jackson, for crying out loud, you gotta stop.

Who is that?

Who is that?

Sam, he was after me and you,
not your wife.

You wanna keep her safe?
You come with me.

- Deborah, I'm... I'm...
- Sam, wait.

It's cold.

So, you, like, a cowboy?

- What?
- Boots?

Oh, no, they're just boots,
where are we going?

They're cool boots.
Uh, it's a house party.

Well, actually,
it's a Chapel party.

I don't really know
what that means, you know,

Chapel-themed,
Jews-themed, maybe.

- Are you a man of God, Sam?
- Why are we going there?

We're gonna go pick up
my buddy, Lotus.

Lotus is... he's the guy.

You know, the guy that you want
for shit like this,

you know, ghosts, and vortexes,
and magik,

you know, with a K where it's
supposed to be real

and he's got all the, uh,
magical... books.

He's got all sorts
of books and stuff,

you know, that can keep us safe.

Great father-daughter
bonding experience.

Hey, look, I really do
want to get to know you,

but you pulled a knife
on my wife.

That kind of sounds
like a Dr. Seuss rhyme.

Seriously, I'm sorry about that.

It was just... I had to
get you out of there,

and normal people don't
mess with crazy people.

So, you know,
if I act, like, ugh, crazy,

it's just so that normal people
won't mess with me,

because, you know,
I used to walk around LA

in the middle of the night,
just, like, muttering to myself.

Like, "It's not you, it's not you,
it's her, it's her, it's her,"

and nobody messed with me.

Like, I don't even know
how to throw knives.

I've never thrown a knife.

But yeah, yeah, I can see
how that might've been...

Ooh, don't answer it.

Can you just text her and tell
her everything's all right?

Everything's not all right.
There's a man with...

I know, but just tell her
that we're both safe and good,

and I don't want her
calling the cops.

I'm already dead.

Anyway, it's not her decision.

- What?
- Whether I go with you or not.

Not her decision to make.

Well, um...

So what's your deal, Sam?

What's my deal?

Yeah, you know,
what are you about?

Can you maybe
not smoke in here?

Come on.

Seriously?

I work in a marketing firm
called Logidex.

Yeah, is that
all you're about?

No, my wife,
I care about my wife.

But you didn't
tell her about me?

Well, you don't just
spring that on somebody.

I mean, you told her you were my
daughter and a man ate a girl.

Are you in a healthy
relationship?

- Yes.
- Really?

- Yes.
- Oh, really?

Well, any more
interview questions?

No.

I'm sure there'll be more
as the night goes on

and I think we are in for
quite an interesting night.

Sam, please answer.

I need you to talk to me.

I need to know where you are.

You know what? I'm sorry, no,
it doesn't matter where you are.

I just need to know
that you're safe.

Uh...
Please, please call me back.

I just wanna talk.

I wanna talk about all of this,
whatever's going on.

I wanna be there for you.

I'm not angry.

I love you.

You've reached
the maximum time

permitted for recording
your message.

If you are satisfied with
your message, press one.

To listen to your message,
press two.

You ever think about if/then
of this whole conundrum?

You know, like if it's true
that there's a magic man

that eats people,
like whatever wackiness numbers are true,

kind of offends science as we know
it, you know?

- Sam?
- I'll just wait in the car.

Um... No, there's a man with
a mouth, with a big mouth after us.

We need a name for it,
you cool with Chompy?

Yeah, yeah,
that's... yeah, okay.

So these are like
friends of yours, yeah?

Well, uh, we're gonna find out.

I think it's... yeah, this way.

- Lotus.
- Jackson.

This is certainly a surprise.

The old Jacky, Jack,
Jack, Jackson in town.

Hmm. And who's the...?

Yeah, I'll get to that.
Lotus, we have to talk.

Oh. Well, why don't you tell me what
you've been up to first, Jackson?

I mean, it's been, well,
it's certainly been awhile.

- Give me a life update.
- Later, Lotus, we gotta talk.

Mm, let's drink.
This is Genevieve.

Now her and our spirit animals
are like this.

It's also her house.

I'm sorry about the trash bag.
My shirt burned.

Yeah, yeah, lovely to meet you,
Guinevere.

Lotus, like now, okay?

Nice to...

Hey, man, I like your boots.

You left Genevieve back there.
She's there, she's alone.

This Chapel party sucks,
it's a mess.

Yeah, okay, okay, that's fine.

Listen, we need your help
with some like paranormal shit.

Oh, fuck, yeah,
that shit is my jam.

Okay, now you need to tell me,
is there a spook involved?

Yeah, so there was this girl,
right?

This little girl, she must be
like nine or something

- and she was standing there...
- Yeah, tell me this.

I imagine it was probably
something with her,

like a shadowy type of...
it's a Rixella, all right?

It's an interdimensional,
kind of parasite

attached to people,
you know what I'm talking about?

No? Okay, look guys, there's been
a manload, a report, a manload.

I thought it'd be like my new word.
It's a manload.

No, Lotus, it wasn't the girl.
There was a man who opened his mouth.

Okay, okay, okay,
keep talking about all that,

but Jackson, do you want
a little bit of the good stuff?

- No! H or coke?
- H!

No, this... why the fuck...
this is important, okay?

Okay, calm your crumpus
there, chump.

I don't do heroin.

Can we please just get back
to the man who ate a girl?

Oh, he ate her, did he,
mouth into...?

Right, so Sam and I were
just sitting on the park bench

and then we saw them across the
way, and then he opened his mouth,

like super wide, like way wide, and then...
and then he just swallows her,

like he goes up and then
he goes up and...

and like her feet are sticking
out, and then she's just gone.

- Lotus?
- That girl.

Ah!

- What the fuck, kid?
- There was a pill, okay?

There was a pill he put in there
and he wanted to give it to you.

And you! You were trying to...

- Fuck!
- Jesus Christ.

You! Son of a bitch!

He's a fucking rapist!

- What the fuck was that?
- Look there was a pill, okay,

he put a pill in her drink
when she was gone.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- What, so you drank it?
- What?

- You drank the pill.
- Yeah, he was gonna give it to her.

You couldn't just take
the drink or you could

have spilled it out or just tell her?

- Who the fuck are you?
- Get in.

Seat belts.

Lotus, we're going
to your place, okay?

You can barricade us in with some
sort of magic circle or something.

Hold on, I'm texting 911
about that guy.

- Is this really necessary?
- What?

What, the guy, yeah, it's 911,
fuck, yeah, it's necessary.

No, not that,
the whole magic circle.

Yeah, Lotus, can you
make a magic circle?

You're asking me about
magic circles, man.

Something like 90% of the stuff

that people run around here
talking about is magic.

It's not magic,
it's just bullshit.

That's just people walking
around with their own beliefs

their own religion,
their own politi-ti-ti-tics,

- and it just gets...
- Lotus, we don't need to talk about this.

No, no, no, wait...
mashes together, so what do you have?

You got this little, tiny,
tiny, little, little piece

of something that's real,
that's truthful.

And you gotta find it,
and sometimes that means listening

and communicating to people,
and that's what life's about.

That's what we're
here to do, Jackson,

do you know what I mean,
do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Lotus, can you
make a magic circle?

Yeah, why?

What's a magic circle?

Jackie, you running
around with this guy?

- It'll protect us.
- Really?

I got books,
I got tons of books.

Mouths and...

Hey, you all right, buddy?

Yeah, yeah. Mm.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Just a bit dizzy,
that's all, but it's okay.

Oh, oh, yo, Lotus,
did you just puke?

Mm-mm, done nothing
but a sporadic tooth,

but I'm gonna find it,
I'm gonna find it,

- 'cause the tooth fairy...
- Jackson, look.

- No, I've got...
- Look.

Okay, what?

That's the girl.

No.

- Hey, Lotus.
- Huh, what?

You see that little girl
up there?

You're kind of a dick, Jackson.

- You're like a Jack-dick.
- Jesus, Lotus.

No, that's why, that's why

I don't hang out
with you anymore.

That's why we
don't talk anymore.

I'm gonna go talk to her.

No, listen, Sam,
she's just standing there

on the side of the street
in the middle of the night.

That's not, that's not normal.

You're gonna have to come
with me.

Yeah, I'll come with you,
I'll come buddy, come on.

That's okay.

Uh, excuse me, um, no, no,
no, no, it's okay.

We're not gonna hurt you,
it's okay, it's okay.

Uh... What's your name?

- Birch.
- Birch.

- It's Birch.
- What you doing out here, Birch?

I need help.

My... my parents are gone.

- I need help.
- What happened to your parents?

Yeah, I'll help you,
but what are you doing

on the side of the street
at 3:15 in the morning?

- My mom was gonna get me.
- I think...

Your mom was gonna pick you up
in the middle of the night?

My mom.

- Jackson.
- What?

You're being kind of...

she's crying, you gotta stop.

You were the one who was
all suspicious of her be...

Okay, I'm sorry,
but you have to admit

that this is pretty f...
this is pretty weird.

We saw a little girl who looked
just like you in the park

when a man picked her up
and ate her.

- Jackson!
- So how do you explain that?

I don't know.

- Birch, Birch, it's okay.
- Yeah, yeah, it's okay, Birch.

Where were you
at four o'clock yesterday?

- I was in a lot of places.
- Such as?

I don't know,

a movie,
I was at a movie.

- What movie?
- Jackson.

- "Bananaman."
- What?

Here, tell me what
"Bananaman" is about, hmm?

It's about a man,
he's a banana man

and he lives in the jungle
with Strawberry Gerry,

and they have to go
to the puddles to get milk,

but Vegetable Soup
doesn't want them to

because it's her milk,
and there was a mouse

that eats them
and then they're okay,

and they get it out of the mouse
and then there's a tornado...

- Birch, it's okay, it's okay.
- Yeah, it's okay, it's okay.

- What happened next?
- Jackson, can I talk to you?

- Um, stop.
- I'm interrogating her.

Well, God, if her parents
are missing,

all we gotta do is call the
police and then we can go.

Sam, Sam, she's involved. She's
involved with Chompy one way or another,

- and the police are not going to be able to help her.
- I don't...

- Go, go!
- Oh, Birch, here, come with me.

Come with me,
come with me now, now, now

Come on, come on, come on,
get in the car, get in the car.

Get in!

- Get in the car, get in the car, get in the car!
- I know.

She doesn't need a seatbelt.
No, it doesn't matter, just get in the car!

Go, go, go, go, go!

Birch, do you have
any clue who that was?

- I don't... I don't know.
- No clue?

No.

Sam, do you have
any other kids?

No.

Only child.

Do you
love boats like I love boats?

Then you know you can't
boat without insurance.

What's the deal, get off me!

Okay, okay, I'm gonna
take Lotus in, but just... Sam...

- Whoa, whoa, Jackson.
- Give me one second, one second, okay?

Oh, Sam, this...

- What is this?
- Uh, benzoyl-methyl-ecgonine.

It's cocaine.

That's not nice!

I will not have you
putting us all at risk just to...

Oh, boy.

Nice boots, cowboy.

- Nope, nope, nope, just...
- Okay.

I always wondered
what a roofie was like.

Birch, you can come, too.
Why don't you want to come in?

- He's not right.
- No, the truth in the 1950s.

- Your breath smells bad.
- The government, they used chemical weapons.

Oh, he's on... he's just
kind of sick.

You don't have to worry about him.
He's not going to hurt you.

- Can we wait out here?
- No, no, no, we gotta go.

- No.
- Birch, it's not safe out here.

Birch, you know the man
who was chasing you?

If we stay out here,
he could come back.

It was a violation
of the Geneva...

- Are you guys coming?!
- Yeah.

- Okay, Birch, we gotta go.
- No, no.

- Come on. It's okay, you're all right.
- Stop, Please! Stop, stop!

- Stop! Stop! Okay, okay, okay.
- Come on.

Go.

I'm okay.

You all right, buddy?

Okay, where's the book
with the mouth man?

You're a mouth man.

- Hey, Birch, what time is it?
- What?

- What time is it?
- It's, uh, four...

Nope, it's rag time.

Mm-mm. No.

It's rag time
'cause of the...

Lotus, can you make a magic circle?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, okay, okay, come on,
buddy, it's time for bed.

- You go to bed.
- No, no, no, come on.

Hey, hey, hey, careful
with the merch index.

Birch, everything all right?

Birch?

You know, Jackson,

you still owe me 30 bucks
for the exorcism.

That wasn't
an exorcism, Lotus.

Where's the
book with the mouth man?

You know what, Jackson,
I don't like you very much.

That's great, thanks, Lotus.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean it it like that,

Jackson, I didn't mean
to hurt you like that.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it
like that, I'm sorry.

I'm an addict, Jackson.

Okay, okay, it's okay.
It's all right.

- I'm sorry, Jackson, I'm sorry.
- Come on.

I know. Yeah, just lay down.

Let's play the breathing game,
okay?

In, two, hold, two, out, two.

In, two, hold, two, out, two.

In, two, hold, two, out, two.

Come on.

Sleep on your side.

Sam?

Sam, Sam?

Sam?

Sam?

Come on.

God, oh, my God, oh, my God, Sam,
Sam, Sam, wake up, wake up, please.

Oh, my God, fucking son of a bitch.

Oh, my God. It's okay, okay.

How, how...
What just, uh...

Water,
I'll get you some water.

Birch was some sorta,
I don't know,

I didn't read the whole thing
of Lotus's book,

but she was on top of you and
it was like you were being eaten

or something and she ran off
and...

How long, how long
was I unconscious?

Seconds? Longer?
But you were just unconscious.

You were... I don't want to say
you were... you were dead,

but it kind of seemed that way,
so...

And there's some... Lotus,
he said, he said something

about "Recalla"... Rixella is
an interdimensional parasite.

Invisible in our reality,
it attaches to a host

it finds vulnerable,
yada, yada, yada.

This does not seem like it.

- Oh, whoa!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you all right?

Hold on.

It's just too fucking weird.

It's... oh, God.

F-f-foot, foot.

Uh...

I don't think there's anything
in here about... Sam, I...

- That does not happen.
- I know, I know.

No, no, you don't.
I... it's, it's, it's baby foot!

- Yeah.
- I have a baby foot!

Yeah, we can, um...

- I wanna go home.
- Sam, if you go home,

your foot stays this way
and you get eaten.

Were you really in the army?

Yeah, yeah, for like two weeks.

They, uh, kicked me out.

- Why'd you join?
- It seemed exciting,

save the country, get to die.

I texted Deborah.

She's on her way.

What?

- I just...
- God, Sam, no, no, why would you...

What's she gonna do?

I can't do this.

What, your foot or...

This?

- I just, I just... What?
- Seriously.

So I should just
not contact you again.

No, no, I want you to.

Okay, you were
being more of a dad

- to Birch than to me, okay?
- She was ten!

Oh, great, so I, I should've come
to you when I was 10. Got it.

Jackson, Jackson, come back.

- What?
- You got lucky.

- Chompy?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna go talk to him.

What?

I... You can't walk.

Jackson, I'm sorry.

Bad idea, bad idea,
bad idea why is this a bad idea?!

Hey, the girl, Birch,
the girl you ate.

Um, she attacked us.

She attacked me.

I got away, I mean,
she got away.

She ran off, um,
I think it was that w...

- Was it that way, Jackson?
- I didn't see.

You're after her, right?
You're after the girl?

Or you're after us?

I mean, she turned my
foot, it's a small foot.

I mean, maybe we can talk
about this, talk this through,

you know, work together,
share what we know.

I mean, can you talk?

Can you understand me?

He's gotta understand you 'cause he
stopped when you mentioned Birch.

Can you help us
or do you need our help?

You want us...
are we gonna be okay?

Okay.

Okay, well.

Jackson, you don't... oh.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Shit.

Oh.

- W-w-what...
- Jackson, Sam,

me Talon,
you are safe now.

I cannot speak in physical form.

So, I brought you here
to explain my actions.

Welcome to my mouth.

If you had revealed
my existence

after the incident in the park,

my work may
have been compromised.

I am in pursuit of a Rixella,
the shadow parasite,

attaching to those
who allow it in

and are vulnerable enough to
be affected by its presence.

In this case, the young girl,
Birch,

it is set on assimilating
every human being

into an exact
replication of her,

which brings us
to your foot, Sam,

an unfinished assimilation,
but I will swallow them.

I will heal them and I
will destroy the Rixella.

However, you must not alert
anyone of my presence.

Yeah.

Can you fix my foot?

When the shadow dies,
your foot will recover,

until then, it seems
your adventure is complete.

I will save your species
but need no thanks.

Sleep well tonight
knowing I am out there.

Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.
- So Chompy, you just...

And we just... Oh, boy.
Okay.

Yeah.

So, we just let you be

and you let us live and you save
the day?

All right, all right, yes, okay.

Great, holy shit.

Great.

What?

- Oh!
- Deborah?

Oh!

What is he?

Chompy, hey, Chompy.

He was gonna save us.

- H-he was gonna...
- And you killed him.

I got to... we need
to call the police.

- No, no!
- Deborah, Deborah, it's not like that.

- We need to move him.
- What?

We need to move him,
so Sam, grab his arms,

and Deborah,
just go park the car by the sidewalk.

- What?
- Sam, be useful, God damn it, Sam...

...and Deborah just leave, okay, leave!

Sam, just...

Baby foot!

No, out, out, out, you get out!

- Jackson.
- This... this is on you, buddy.

- Where are we going?
- We are going... we are going away.

We are driving...
we are driving away.

Okay.

Hey, Deb, where we going, hmm?

We're going to Peter's Pancakes.
We're going to Peter's Pancakes

because I... I have not eaten
in 12 hours and I am hungry.

Okay?

Okay.

Hi, welcome to Peter's
Pancakes, my name's Kakei.

Can I get you guys started
with something to drink?

I'll just have water.

- How's your coffee?
- Oh, I don't drink coffee, I'm Mormon.

Right, well, I'll have a coffee
and a cup

of half orange juice,
half pineapple juice.

Yum.

And for you, miss?

She's fine.

I'll have a toast.

Oh, are we ordering food now?

- Sure!
- Okay. I'll have a large stack

of chocolate chunk-o,
double stack pancakes. Sam?

I'm good with just a water.

Sam, you've been up
all fucking night.

You didn't eat shit.

You know what happens
when you don't eat,

your body shuts down,
I don't need you

fucking shutting down on me,
so just...

- I'll have bacon.
- Just a side of bacon?

- Yeah.
- Not very healthy.

Well, you're eating choc...
choco-chink.

Chocolate chunk, Sam,
what you just said is a racial slur.

I think that's all, thank you.

Why are you so hurt?

Hurt, I'm not hurt,
I'm not hurt.

I'm fucking worried because we're
all gonna be little girls now.

No, no, I don't...
I don't mean that.

I meant before,
before any of that.

Level with me, Jackson,
what's going on with you?

Sam, you're my father,
you're not my dad.

So stop trying to be,
you had that chance

at the park
and you fucking blew it.

And why did we leave Chompy at Lotus's?
That was a stupid thing to do.

Fuck, I'm gonna text him.

Who did I kill?

Little girls are trying
to assimilate humanity

and you killed the one thing
that could have stopped them.

- Jackson, you have to stop.
- Stop what?

Sam, you can't do this.

Deb, I know it doesn't
make sense.

Is this really your daughter?

Deborah, it's not...
the table's wet. Gross.

Yes, I am,
but we need a plan, okay?

Because if we don't have a plan, we just sit
here eating pancakes and then we all die.

Deb, look under the table.

- Why?
- Just look under the table.

- What did you do to him?
- Now, Deb, Deb, she didn't do anything.

It was a little girl.

I can't do this.

We could get a divorce.

- That's not what I meant.
- What if we set a trap?

Like, lure 'em into one place
and then and kill 'em.

- What if we talked to them?
- You want to talk to it?

- Sam, why?
- Yeah, I mean, 'cause we talked to the mouth man

and, you know what, that worked.

Yeah, until he died;
I'm not pointing fingers.

Well, no, it did, we thought
he was trying to kill us.

- We talked to him and it worked out okay.
- So we killed him instead.

That's not relevant.
Jackson, I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry,
I know I didn't handle

our relationship
the way I should have,

but you're right,
we have to do something.

So we're gonna to talk to Birch.

There's one close by.

There's a lot of 'em.

Uh. Jackson,
you're pouring syrup on the table.

Am I?

Yeah, I'm gonna
keep pouring the syrup

on the table until you come up
with a rational plan.

Just syrup city, syrup swamp,
syrup sea,

you know, S-E-A, sea, hmm,
no plan, we're all fucked.

- Girls win, that's all, folks.
- Oh, I'm sorry, you can't smoke in here, it's...

Why would you do that?

I have to clean this up now.

You wanna?

Yeah.

Excuse me, sorry.

Uh...

It's all I have, so.

I'm gonna talk to the girls.

Excuse me.

I need help.

What do you need help with?

Go straight, she's nearby.

How do you know?

Oh, uh, I think my foot
can feel it, I don't know.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I know, but I have to ask,
why did you spill the syrup?

I just did.

- You just did?
- Yeah.

- Well, that's not good enough.
- Sam, I'm sorry, okay, but I am not a happy person.

I like to tell myself it's
because I live in California

and I hate California,

and I like to tell myself
it's because my mom sucked

and I didn't know my dad,
and I really,

really like to tell myself it's
because I'm a heroin addict,

and if I move to some naturey
countryside, if I quit heroin cold turkey,

if I won the California
Lottery Mega-Millions,

I would be happy...

for a month
or two or three, max.

And then I would just be
right back where I started.

Do you still use heroin?

No. I don't,
you caught me with coke,

which is much healthier,
it's a lower LD50,

which means less chance of
ODing and lower addiction rates,

I mean, it's a bit
more expensive, but...

Is it difficult?

- What?
- Addiction?

You have no idea.

- You know, I think you're wrong.
- Yeah?

Not about addiction,
about your mindset.

Have you ever thought of
joining the Peace Corps?

No, I'll check that out.

I know it's not Christmastime,
but I like this song.

We're going to play it.

- ♪ Joy to the world The Lord has come ♪
- What are you doing?

I'm singing, Sam,
I sing when I'm stressed

and it's a stressful situation,
so...

♪ Let every heart
Prepare Him room ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪
Hey, Deb, you wanna join in?

♪ And heaven and nature ♪

- Sam! You're a psychic.
- A foot psychic.

Don't leave me.

I don't think I can
with my foot.

Hey, do you, uh...?

No, no, no.

Help!

- Oh!
- Help!

- No, no!
- Help her!

Okay, okay, I got 'em, I got 'em.

Trunk, trunk, trunk.

Okay. No. Legs.
Okay.

[Birch No!

Go!

If you act crazy,
normal people don't mess with you.

- Uh... Okay.
- We should probably go, though.

Oh.

Mm.

How are you
holding up, Deborah?

You want a divorce?

Uh... I... I...

- Can we talk about this later?
- I just need to know what to do with the rest of my life.

Look, if I said I wanted a
divorce, and I'm not saying I do,

it would be because I thought that
we both would be happier apart.

I just... I love you, Deb.

No, you don't.

Have you been wanting to
for awhile?

I've thought about it.

I just feel like you, we never,
you never communicate with me.

- I don't communicate?
- I mean, well, not, no, no, not, not like that.

I just, I mean,
when's the last time

we had a real conversation?

When's the last time
you asked me how my day was?

I try to talk to you.

Sam, you talk to me
about nothing.

We've been communicating
on small talk.

I think since before
we were married.

But we used to be friends.

Okay, okay.

This is all really good,
but we're here.

So I'm going to need help with the...

- Tape now. Now!
- I'm looking, Jackson, where's the tape?

- I don't know.
- Ah. Oh, baby foot!

Here, here.

It's okay, it's okay.

Got it, I got it, I got it.

Yes, Lotus replied,
he's found Chompy.

- Oh, God.
- Come here now.

- Okay, Birch, let's talk.
- Do we have tie her up?

Yes. Why do you want to
assimilate everyone, hmm?

Look Birch, we're not trying to hurt you,
we're just trying to figure this out.

Birch, Birch, listen to me. We just need your
help is all, so what's going on in your head?

Do you want everyone
to be like you?

Do you need to? Is this something
you need to do to survive...

Oh, no!

- Is the whole place locked?
- No, no, that's good, though, that's good.

Oh, fucking ass.

Bathroom window,
kitchen window.

Jackson, what window's open?

Oh, my God, bathroom
has no windows.

I have never felt this
distressed in my entire life.

Idea: so if you get this one to
insanity, they share a mind,

so they would all go insane,
we could torture it,

which I don't wanna do
'cause sounds really icky,

and regardless of the fact
that they are monsters,

they do look like little girls,
and it totally might not work.

It might make them all
super angry, and also

Sam has a baby foot and I don't
really like that,

we should not do that.

They're not angry,
they're scared.

Is your foot telling you that?

Are they dangerous?

The windows, we need
to check the windows.

Windows, okay, oh, great, oh, great.
That's not fucking terrifying.

- Mattress.
- Mattress. The mattress.

We can make a barricade.

- Stop.
- It's helping with adrenaline, you need to scream with me.

- Hey, hey, Lotus, you here?
- There's a lot of girls out here, lot of girls.

- There's no way I'm coming in.
- What's going on?

What, how I am supposed
to know what these are,

who these are,
I don't know what these are.

Shit, can you make
a magic circle?

No, I cannot draw
a magic circle.

I told you, I'm surrounded,
okay?

That is for non-corporations
only, and, oh, by the way,

I've got the dead mouth-angel
in my trunk.

By the way, how did you guys
kill a mouth-angel?

F... Can we do anything with it?

Can we feed them to the body?

No, maybe.

- Yeah.
- Where's Deborah?

- I don't know.
- No, that's it, put the girls in the corpse's mouth.

- The portal might still be open.
- Okay, okay, fine,

bring Chompy in, I will,
I will.

No, no, there's no way
that I'm coming in there.

You're gonna come out here,
no way.

- She's looking right at me.
- Jackson, where's Deborah?

Fuck, Sam, I gotta go.

- What?
- Jackson, Jackson? Jack...

Deb, Deborah, Deb.

What?

Deb, Deb.

I'm sorry.

Lotus, pop the trunk.

Okay.

Jackson!

Hey.

Hey.

How you doing?

Not good.

Your, uh... your hand is, uh...

Oh. Oh. Oh, God.

Why'd I buy these stupid boots?

Snake died for these.

I don't think we should have
gotten married.

Do you wanna end it?

If we live, yeah.

I'm glad you found Jackson.

Me too.

Birch.

Are you gonna hurt me?

Okay, okay, hey, hey, hey.

Just talk to me, okay?

What's...?

I don't want to hurt anyone.

Okay, okay, yeah,
you're good, you're good.

But, uh... What's that?

You need to go now.

Okay, I'll go, but just first,
just what is it, hmm?

It's making me do it.

I don't want to.

I made Susan me
and I made my parents me

and Ms. Hiyoshito me,
and I made a lot of people me.

- What is it?
- I can't tell you.

You need to go. Go. Go!

Please.

Okay, okay.

- Birch, do you wanna get it off you?
- I can't.

Why not?

I can't, it's part of me now.

It's part of you?

It's okay, it's okay.

No.

- I can deal with this.
- What, what?

Birch, just let it go,
just give it to me.

- But... No, no, no.
- Shh, shh, shh. Listen to me, okay?

You don't have to live
like this anymore.

You don't have to live
like this anymore, okay?

I can take it, okay? Okay? I'll take it.

- Thank you.
- Go.

Okay.

You're not taking over.

You're not taking over!

You are not assimilating
anyone else.

Sorry, buddy.

Help, help, please, help!

Get off my daughter!

Get off!

Come on.

It's okay.

We gotta get out of here, come on.

Come on, jump, get out.

Go again. Again.

It's okay, baby,
it's okay, it's okay.

Jackson, Jackson.

Oh, my God.

- Grab hold.
- Oh, my God.

Whoa! Jeez.

Hold on.

Oh! Someone get help, help,
somebody help, help, come here.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Mom, Dad.

So, you two doing okay?

Uh...

Uh...

I think we're... I think we're
getting a divorce.

Yeah.

Probably for the best.

Right.

Yeah.

Sorry about all this.

Not your fault

Yeah, but I didn't have
to be such a dick about it.

I'm... I'm sorry, too.

It's all right.

I think I need help.

So who are you?

This is my dad, Sam.

Oh. Okay, I don't think you
ever mentioned that part.

Hi.

So I guess that must mean
that you're her...

No, no, Deborah, hi.

Okay.

I'm really glad I reached out
to you.

Yeah, I'm really glad too.

You guys want to
get some breakfast?

Yeah, and then sleep.

I could eat an egg.

Me too.

- Let's do it, Deb.
- I'll drive.

Okay.

Yeah.

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull