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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,862 --> 00:00:10,965 [?] 2 00:00:11,263 --> 00:00:13,451 Hey, watch where you're going, man. 3 00:00:13,586 --> 00:00:14,827 Oh, your ass. 4 00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:17,966 [?] 5 00:00:18,344 --> 00:00:21,034 [indistinct mumbling] 6 00:00:21,442 --> 00:00:22,482 [knocking at door] 7 00:00:23,067 --> 00:00:27,793 [?] 8 00:00:28,263 --> 00:00:29,333 Edmund. 9 00:00:29,418 --> 00:00:33,213 [crying] E-e-e-e-e-e. 10 00:00:33,646 --> 00:00:35,209 Can you cry with any other vowel, please? 11 00:00:35,294 --> 00:00:37,459 - [sobs] O-o-o-o-o-o. - No, no, no, no. 12 00:00:37,653 --> 00:00:42,517 [?] 13 00:00:42,661 --> 00:00:44,575 *AWKWAFINA IS NORA FROM QUEENS* 14 00:00:44,659 --> 00:00:45,538 Season 02 Episode 04 15 00:00:45,622 --> 00:00:48,387 Okay, alright. Look, I'm sorry, let me get this straight. 16 00:00:48,919 --> 00:00:50,781 You got fired because of what? 17 00:00:53,099 --> 00:00:54,544 A court summons? 18 00:00:56,375 --> 00:00:58,349 Oh, shit. Is this... 19 00:00:58,466 --> 00:01:02,271 Yes, my mother has been indicted in the college 20 00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:06,995 admissions scandal for extortion and bribery. 21 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:07,747 What? 22 00:01:07,832 --> 00:01:11,123 I got into Stanford solely because she bribed the fencing 23 00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:14,616 coach into admitting me on "an athletic scholarship." 24 00:01:14,719 --> 00:01:15,719 For what sport? 25 00:01:15,823 --> 00:01:17,340 - Fencing, I said! - Oh. 26 00:01:17,443 --> 00:01:20,616 And I was actually passionate and good at it for 11 years. 27 00:01:20,719 --> 00:01:23,099 Okay, but you still went to Stanford, right? 28 00:01:23,202 --> 00:01:24,892 You still got a Stanford education. 29 00:01:24,995 --> 00:01:30,202 Nora, I can show my face in Silicon Valley again. 30 00:01:30,306 --> 00:01:33,030 My life is meaningless. 31 00:01:33,133 --> 00:01:34,685 [sobs] 32 00:01:35,685 --> 00:01:37,340 Are you smiling right now? 33 00:01:37,443 --> 00:01:38,788 No, this is not a smile. 34 00:01:38,892 --> 00:01:40,823 I'm just airing my teeth out. 35 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,788 It's just that I've always been a little jealous of you. 36 00:01:45,892 --> 00:01:49,202 Not jealous of the tail, which, you know, I have gripped. 37 00:01:49,306 --> 00:01:50,616 I have done one of those. 38 00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:55,030 But then you became such an accomplished, awesome person. 39 00:01:55,133 --> 00:02:00,375 And now seeing just how shit you are and everything is for you, 40 00:02:00,478 --> 00:02:01,650 it's comforting. 41 00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:05,788 I'm glad that my demise and anatomy 42 00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:08,030 bring you inner peace, Nora. 43 00:02:08,133 --> 00:02:09,375 Yeah. 44 00:02:09,478 --> 00:02:11,547 My mind went to some dark places. 45 00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:14,995 I thought about all the bullshit and all the posturing. 46 00:02:15,099 --> 00:02:18,168 Like nothing I did in tech actually benefited humanity. 47 00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:19,237 Yeah. 48 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,739 I mean, maybe this is my wakeup call, 49 00:02:20,823 --> 00:02:22,256 maybe this is the universe telling me, "Edmund, 50 00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:26,995 "give back to the world you took so much from. 51 00:02:27,099 --> 00:02:28,271 Give back!" 52 00:02:28,375 --> 00:02:31,237 I know it'll be hard, but it's what I have to do. 53 00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:33,719 - Ah, man, that's so beautiful. - I'm so proud of you. 54 00:02:33,823 --> 00:02:35,532 What are we talking about? Like nonprofit work? 55 00:02:35,616 --> 00:02:36,547 Charity work? 56 00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:38,237 Acting. 57 00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:39,547 Ooh. 58 00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:41,961 [?] 59 00:02:42,064 --> 00:02:44,478 [grunting] 60 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,650 - [phone ringing] - Huh? 61 00:02:46,754 --> 00:02:49,547 [heavy breathing] 62 00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:53,961 [ringing continues] 63 00:02:54,459 --> 00:02:55,769 [groans] 64 00:02:58,581 --> 00:02:59,788 Damon, what is it? 65 00:02:59,892 --> 00:03:02,995 Wally man, hey. Listen, I got some bad news. 66 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,359 I'm not sure if I should tell you this, 67 00:03:04,443 --> 00:03:06,650 but it felt like the right thing to do, you know? 68 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,409 Are you familiar with the dating app? 69 00:03:08,512 --> 00:03:10,409 - Friiiingr? - What? Finger? 70 00:03:10,512 --> 00:03:12,030 Fr-iiiingr. Friiiingr. 71 00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:13,512 Although it's ironic you say that, 72 00:03:13,616 --> 00:03:15,635 because it's how my last date ended, if you know what I mean. 73 00:03:15,719 --> 00:03:17,202 Damon, what's up? 74 00:03:17,306 --> 00:03:19,133 Well, long story short, bucareeno, 75 00:03:19,237 --> 00:03:22,754 I was swiping through yesterday and, uh... well, 76 00:03:22,857 --> 00:03:25,099 why don't you take a look for yourself? Hmm? 77 00:03:25,202 --> 00:03:26,512 What the fuck? 78 00:03:26,616 --> 00:03:28,168 Yeah, I'm sorry, Wall Man. 79 00:03:28,271 --> 00:03:30,064 - But I took some screenshots. - No! 80 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:32,581 - I'm gonna send them to you. - I gotta go, Damon, bye. 81 00:03:32,685 --> 00:03:34,650 [sighs] 82 00:03:34,754 --> 00:03:36,443 [phone dings] 83 00:03:36,547 --> 00:03:42,237 [?] 84 00:03:43,443 --> 00:03:46,443 [heavy breathing] 85 00:03:46,547 --> 00:03:47,581 [crash] 86 00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:51,099 [grunting] 87 00:03:51,202 --> 00:03:53,719 Urgh! My back! 88 00:03:55,306 --> 00:03:56,478 Ow! 89 00:03:56,581 --> 00:04:00,099 [?] 90 00:04:00,202 --> 00:04:02,547 Acting? I mean, in this economy? 91 00:04:02,650 --> 00:04:04,512 Not now, then when? 92 00:04:04,616 --> 00:04:07,306 Maybe after you secure a stable day job? I don't know. 93 00:04:07,409 --> 00:04:09,823 Oh God. I sound like everyone talking to me. 94 00:04:09,926 --> 00:04:10,926 [phone ringing] 95 00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:12,823 Oh, here we go, my mom is calling. 96 00:04:12,926 --> 00:04:14,306 Hello, Mother. Barry? 97 00:04:14,409 --> 00:04:16,512 Hey, kiddo, you're looking good. 98 00:04:16,616 --> 00:04:17,961 You too, Barry. 99 00:04:18,064 --> 00:04:21,754 I see the Cialis has yet to give you stroke number two. 100 00:04:21,857 --> 00:04:23,892 Edmund, why are you in New York? 101 00:04:23,995 --> 00:04:25,823 - You need to get back here now. - Why? 102 00:04:25,926 --> 00:04:29,547 So I can testify at your bribery and extortion trial, 103 00:04:29,650 --> 00:04:31,443 you demon woman? 104 00:04:31,547 --> 00:04:33,409 Edmund, I know you're upset. 105 00:04:33,512 --> 00:04:36,443 - I never meant to hurt you. - No, Mother, I'm done. 106 00:04:36,547 --> 00:04:40,788 I've had no control over my life from the second I was born. 107 00:04:40,892 --> 00:04:42,271 Do you know what that's like? 108 00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:45,099 For the first time, I'm doing something that I want to do. 109 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:48,237 If I could just cut in, I fully support you on your acting 110 00:04:48,340 --> 00:04:49,375 journey, son. 111 00:04:49,478 --> 00:04:51,823 Can you shut the fuck up for once Barry? 112 00:04:51,926 --> 00:04:53,547 Yes, Barry, please stop. 113 00:04:53,650 --> 00:04:54,739 BARRY: I'm just trying to help. 114 00:04:54,823 --> 00:04:55,926 Where's Dad? 115 00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:57,222 KIM: He's still on business in the Macau, 116 00:04:57,306 --> 00:04:58,823 but I've emailed him several times. 117 00:04:58,926 --> 00:05:01,064 On business, great. 118 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,926 Well, goodbye, Mother. 119 00:05:03,030 --> 00:05:06,961 - Edmund! - [phone beeps] 120 00:05:07,064 --> 00:05:08,547 - That went so good, I think. - Yeah. 121 00:05:08,650 --> 00:05:09,961 Yeah. You know what? 122 00:05:10,064 --> 00:05:12,685 While I don't think it's the best alternative, Edmund, 123 00:05:12,788 --> 00:05:14,961 I-I will support you on your journey. 124 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:16,995 Thanks, Nora. 125 00:05:17,099 --> 00:05:19,271 Because I think I may need to crash here for a bit. 126 00:05:19,375 --> 00:05:21,895 Yeah, I think Grandma's fully prepared to make that downstairs 127 00:05:21,995 --> 00:05:24,478 couch all for you. 128 00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:29,961 I thought maybe we could bunk up together in your room. 129 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,237 Probably not. 130 00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:33,719 Because we can tell nighttime stories, 131 00:05:33,823 --> 00:05:35,581 - or sings songs. - No. 132 00:05:35,685 --> 00:05:38,133 Or, um, when it's cold, we can sneak hot cocoa together. 133 00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:41,892 - Or we could get a bunkbed. - I masturbate so loud. 134 00:05:41,995 --> 00:05:47,306 Oooh. Yeah. 135 00:05:47,409 --> 00:05:50,306 [phone ringing] 136 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:53,719 Decline. 137 00:05:53,823 --> 00:05:55,306 Oh no, here... 138 00:05:55,409 --> 00:05:57,892 - Wally, where have you been? - I've been texting. 139 00:05:57,995 --> 00:05:59,616 You know, I'm kind of busy right now. 140 00:05:59,719 --> 00:06:01,443 Is someone walking on your back? 141 00:06:01,547 --> 00:06:03,133 I gotta go. Bye. 142 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:04,581 - Oh... - [phone beeps] 143 00:06:04,685 --> 00:06:07,581 You should talk to Brenda first before freaking out. 144 00:06:07,685 --> 00:06:10,133 Maybe there's a reason she was on a dating app. 145 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,443 What reason could there be except for the... 146 00:06:12,547 --> 00:06:14,754 - Uh! - [groaning] 147 00:06:14,857 --> 00:06:16,271 Okay, enough. 148 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:20,168 I can't walk any further or I'll compromise your pubis. 149 00:06:20,271 --> 00:06:21,685 You know who you should see? 150 00:06:21,788 --> 00:06:23,306 Susan Lee. 151 00:06:23,409 --> 00:06:26,271 I don't need an acupuncturist. 152 00:06:26,375 --> 00:06:29,719 Listen to me, my friend Mei went to her 153 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,685 because of stomach problems. 154 00:06:31,788 --> 00:06:34,754 Turns out, at 72, she was pregnant. 155 00:06:34,857 --> 00:06:36,409 Pregnant with a tumor. 156 00:06:36,512 --> 00:06:41,271 And today, Mei is still here in Cedar Grove Cemetery. 157 00:06:41,375 --> 00:06:42,409 She died? 158 00:06:42,512 --> 00:06:45,375 Yeah, but Susan is still very good. 159 00:06:45,478 --> 00:06:49,375 [?] 160 00:06:50,719 --> 00:06:52,719 [groan] 161 00:06:52,823 --> 00:06:57,926 [soothing music plays] 162 00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:59,995 - SUSAN ON INTERCOM: Wally Lin? - Huh? 163 00:07:00,099 --> 00:07:03,133 Uh, yes, it's me. 164 00:07:03,237 --> 00:07:05,478 SUSAN: You may enter. 165 00:07:05,581 --> 00:07:08,133 [groans] 166 00:07:10,064 --> 00:07:11,616 Oh, whoa. 167 00:07:11,719 --> 00:07:14,443 I'm not used to having such gorgeous patients come in. 168 00:07:14,547 --> 00:07:17,788 Oh, ow. Thanks. 169 00:07:17,892 --> 00:07:20,892 - Please disrobe. - Okay. 170 00:07:20,995 --> 00:07:22,650 I'll leave the room. 171 00:07:26,857 --> 00:07:28,616 Even though I don't want to. 172 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:36,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 173 00:07:39,478 --> 00:07:41,133 I can see the problem is in your back. 174 00:07:41,237 --> 00:07:43,788 Yeah, I tweaked it earlier. 175 00:07:43,892 --> 00:07:47,202 Oh, Wally, you haven't changed a bit. 176 00:07:47,306 --> 00:07:48,754 You're still working out, I see. 177 00:07:48,857 --> 00:07:50,168 Yeah. 178 00:07:50,271 --> 00:07:51,685 Do we know each other? 179 00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:53,443 We went to high school together. 180 00:07:53,547 --> 00:07:55,064 You may not remember me. 181 00:07:55,168 --> 00:07:56,616 I wasn't "normal." 182 00:07:56,719 --> 00:07:57,961 What? 183 00:07:58,064 --> 00:07:59,864 The problem with your back isn't structural. 184 00:07:59,961 --> 00:08:01,547 Your chakras are off. 185 00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:02,788 No kidding. 186 00:08:02,892 --> 00:08:04,187 Just like when you broke up with Monica Santos 187 00:08:04,271 --> 00:08:05,547 in tenth grade. 188 00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:07,616 There's trouble in your love life. 189 00:08:07,719 --> 00:08:09,512 What's her name? 190 00:08:09,616 --> 00:08:11,685 Oh. 191 00:08:11,788 --> 00:08:14,237 - Brenda. - Okay. 192 00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:19,650 I need you to close your eyes and think about Brenda. 193 00:08:19,754 --> 00:08:21,892 [heavy breathing] 194 00:08:21,995 --> 00:08:23,719 [banging] 195 00:08:23,823 --> 00:08:25,547 Alright, okay. 196 00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:27,168 - It's secure. - Okay. 197 00:08:27,271 --> 00:08:29,133 What are we doing? What even is a self-tape? 198 00:08:29,237 --> 00:08:31,306 It's like an audition, but you do it from home. 199 00:08:31,409 --> 00:08:33,547 And instead of doing 1 take, you do like 26. 200 00:08:33,650 --> 00:08:35,187 And then after you're done, you send in your favorite one. 201 00:08:35,271 --> 00:08:37,099 And then, "Hello, the CW." 202 00:08:37,202 --> 00:08:39,547 Yeah, but these rules are super intense, dude. 203 00:08:39,650 --> 00:08:41,926 - They wanna shoot you horizontal? - Yeah. 204 00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:44,030 - What's that mean? - Landscape mode. 205 00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:45,693 - I don't think we should do it. - Nora. 206 00:08:45,788 --> 00:08:47,306 A monkey could do this. 207 00:08:47,409 --> 00:08:52,202 [?] 208 00:08:52,306 --> 00:08:54,237 - Am I in? - You're so on that side. 209 00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:55,202 - Frame up that way. - Okay. 210 00:08:55,306 --> 00:08:57,030 - Yup, you ready? - Yeah. 211 00:08:57,133 --> 00:08:58,256 'Cause you need to go left more. 212 00:08:58,340 --> 00:08:59,271 - I'm out? - You're totally out. 213 00:08:59,375 --> 00:09:00,394 - I'm in? - Yeah, you're in. 214 00:09:00,478 --> 00:09:01,670 - What's my range of motion? - That. 215 00:09:01,754 --> 00:09:06,616 If you can't control that... [screams] 216 00:09:06,719 --> 00:09:07,650 Yeah. 217 00:09:07,754 --> 00:09:12,685 [?] 218 00:09:12,788 --> 00:09:15,271 - If you can't handle that... - No, sorry, I was on photo. 219 00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:17,064 Alright, here we go. 220 00:09:17,168 --> 00:09:18,222 If you can't control that... 221 00:09:18,306 --> 00:09:20,857 Oh my, it looks so bad on video now. 222 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,719 It's like a whole different lens. 223 00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:23,823 What do you mean? 224 00:09:23,926 --> 00:09:25,547 [?] 225 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:29,099 If you can't control that bitch, I will. 226 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,601 [in Australian accent] If you can't handle the bitch, I will. 227 00:09:31,685 --> 00:09:34,237 [in Scottish accent] If you can't control the bitch, I will. 228 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:37,306 If you can't control that bitch, I will. 229 00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:40,547 If you can't control that bitch, I will. 230 00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:41,685 I felt that. 231 00:09:41,788 --> 00:09:45,409 If you can't control that bitch... I will. 232 00:09:45,512 --> 00:09:48,168 Mm-hmm. Cut on rehearsal, that was so good. 233 00:09:48,271 --> 00:09:49,788 - You weren't recording? - No. 234 00:09:49,892 --> 00:09:50,823 No, I wasn't recording those. 235 00:09:50,926 --> 00:09:52,409 [screams] 236 00:09:52,512 --> 00:09:56,133 [?] 237 00:09:56,237 --> 00:09:58,926 Just breathe and let me do all the work. 238 00:09:59,030 --> 00:10:00,099 Okay. 239 00:10:00,202 --> 00:10:02,719 SUSAN: I'm gonna put it in now, Wally. 240 00:10:02,823 --> 00:10:04,030 Oooh. 241 00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:08,616 [?] 242 00:10:18,547 --> 00:10:23,306 [?] 243 00:10:23,409 --> 00:10:27,961 - We're done. - We're done. 244 00:10:28,064 --> 00:10:30,650 Huh? What? 245 00:10:30,754 --> 00:10:33,788 You're gonna feel a lot better today. 246 00:10:33,892 --> 00:10:36,306 Whoa. Wow. 247 00:10:38,409 --> 00:10:41,926 Oh, what... I already do. 248 00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:43,306 Thanks. 249 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:47,030 [?] 250 00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:48,719 Okay, we are really doing this. 251 00:10:48,823 --> 00:10:51,512 We are really doing this. An open audition. 252 00:10:51,616 --> 00:10:53,153 That's alright, here, have some Vitamin Water. 253 00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:55,409 It's got vitamins and Emergen-C in it. 254 00:10:55,512 --> 00:10:57,168 This is not Vitamin Water, Nora. 255 00:10:57,271 --> 00:10:59,099 It's Mountain Dew. Duh. 256 00:10:59,202 --> 00:11:01,202 What else would I put in a thermos? 257 00:11:01,306 --> 00:11:04,340 What did I do to die today to make it to two 'til two. 258 00:11:04,443 --> 00:11:07,202 - Things... - NORA: Oh man. 259 00:11:07,306 --> 00:11:09,788 There are three actors that look just like you. 260 00:11:09,892 --> 00:11:11,030 And they're all hot. 261 00:11:11,133 --> 00:11:13,271 EDMUND: Oh God, oh God, oh God! 262 00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:15,030 NORA: Yeah. 263 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,823 No, drink normal. 264 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,202 - Ed Lin? - Present! 265 00:11:19,306 --> 00:11:20,532 - Ed? - Yeah, it's my stage name. 266 00:11:20,616 --> 00:11:21,980 Doesn't it make me sound more mature? 267 00:11:22,064 --> 00:11:24,222 - Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. - It sounds like shit, Edmund. 268 00:11:24,306 --> 00:11:25,478 Shit name, dude. 269 00:11:25,581 --> 00:11:27,719 Okay, please state your name. 270 00:11:27,823 --> 00:11:32,064 Ed Lin, 5'8", 5'9" in the mornings. 271 00:11:32,168 --> 00:11:33,754 I am reading for Jonathan. 272 00:11:33,857 --> 00:11:35,650 Great, ready when you are. 273 00:11:35,754 --> 00:11:37,616 I'm ready. 274 00:11:37,719 --> 00:11:41,547 Connor: Ah, man, there you go, smack talking us again. 275 00:11:41,650 --> 00:11:45,030 Chloe: Don't be afraid to take home your second place trophy, 276 00:11:45,133 --> 00:11:49,478 boys. Didn't you leave them here last time? 277 00:11:49,581 --> 00:11:53,340 Yeah. Pft, like in my aa-ss. 278 00:11:55,202 --> 00:11:57,788 That was great, Ed, but this time, 279 00:11:57,892 --> 00:12:00,857 can you do that with a little less crescendo 280 00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:03,340 - on the "aa" part of ass? - Yes. 281 00:12:03,443 --> 00:12:04,754 "Aa" -absolutely. 282 00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:05,719 Thanks. 283 00:12:05,823 --> 00:12:08,168 And... action. 284 00:12:08,271 --> 00:12:09,857 [farts] 285 00:12:12,823 --> 00:12:13,616 That was a cloud. 286 00:12:13,719 --> 00:12:15,685 That was... that was the weather. 287 00:12:15,788 --> 00:12:18,616 [?] 288 00:12:20,237 --> 00:12:22,581 [laughing] 289 00:12:25,616 --> 00:12:28,375 Excuse me, you know Brenda is a dumbass bitch? 290 00:12:28,478 --> 00:12:30,306 [chimes sounding] 291 00:12:30,409 --> 00:12:33,099 [laughs] Sorry, what? 292 00:12:33,202 --> 00:12:35,375 Do you know where the seven stop is? 293 00:12:38,099 --> 00:12:39,719 Thanks. 294 00:12:43,306 --> 00:12:44,926 [laughs] 295 00:12:46,375 --> 00:12:48,892 The best piece in the chicken, this right here. 296 00:12:48,995 --> 00:12:51,030 Can't be the right place. 297 00:12:51,133 --> 00:12:52,099 It's the right place. 298 00:12:52,202 --> 00:12:53,409 You want some chicken? 299 00:12:53,512 --> 00:12:54,823 Ew no-oh, I'll take a little. 300 00:12:54,926 --> 00:12:57,340 Take a little bit... skin while it's hot. 301 00:13:02,271 --> 00:13:03,754 Hey. 302 00:13:03,857 --> 00:13:05,099 Hi. 303 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:06,547 Is this for the audition? 304 00:13:06,650 --> 00:13:09,823 Yeah, it's for Jurassic Park, internally. 305 00:13:09,926 --> 00:13:12,754 [laughs] You still in? 306 00:13:12,857 --> 00:13:13,926 Yeah. 307 00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:15,823 - Yeah. - [laughs] 308 00:13:15,926 --> 00:13:17,187 I'll be right here, I'm not moving. 309 00:13:17,271 --> 00:13:18,616 I will not leave your side. 310 00:13:19,926 --> 00:13:25,547 [?] 311 00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:28,581 Come on over here, hit your mark. 312 00:13:28,685 --> 00:13:32,443 Okay, so there's, uh, something in front of you. 313 00:13:32,547 --> 00:13:34,237 I think it's an egg. 314 00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:36,478 You're gonna pick it up. 315 00:13:36,581 --> 00:13:38,375 You're gonna kiss it. 316 00:13:38,478 --> 00:13:40,237 And then roll it off stage left. 317 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:41,616 Perfect, perfect. 318 00:13:41,719 --> 00:13:44,099 Oh, and now there's a little Limusaurus Rex standing 319 00:13:44,202 --> 00:13:46,340 directly in front of you. 320 00:13:46,443 --> 00:13:49,306 You approach it in wonder. 321 00:13:49,409 --> 00:13:51,271 Pick it up. 322 00:13:51,375 --> 00:13:53,650 Hold it. Hold it. 323 00:13:53,754 --> 00:13:55,237 Hold it. 324 00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:57,030 Now you're gonna fuck it. 325 00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,719 Sorry, excuse me? 326 00:13:58,823 --> 00:14:02,443 I mean, you're gonna kiss it on the cheek. 327 00:14:02,547 --> 00:14:04,857 - [watch dings] - Oh, sorry. 328 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,547 Oh my God, I just got a callback! 329 00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:11,547 Wait, you still wanna fuck it? 330 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,237 So I'm gonna go. 331 00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:16,443 [knocking at door] 332 00:14:17,995 --> 00:14:19,788 [knocking continues] 333 00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,857 Oh, yeah. 334 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,271 Alright! 335 00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:26,306 [knocking continues] 336 00:14:26,409 --> 00:14:27,581 Hey! 337 00:14:27,685 --> 00:14:29,291 I've been calling, and no one's answering, 338 00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:32,133 so I wanted to make sure everything was okay. 339 00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:35,375 Oh yeah, everything's swell. 340 00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:38,064 What's going on? 341 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:41,168 Is there something you're not telling me? 342 00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:45,443 That's funny, because I was thinking that there was 343 00:14:45,547 --> 00:14:47,478 something you're not telling me. 344 00:14:48,961 --> 00:14:52,443 Damon found your Friiiingr profile. 345 00:14:52,547 --> 00:14:55,064 Oh my gosh. [laughs] 346 00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:57,288 What was I thinking with those highlights, am I right? 347 00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:58,271 [laughs] 348 00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:00,099 So this is funny to you? 349 00:15:00,202 --> 00:15:03,099 Oh, come on, Wally, I haven't been on that app in months. 350 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:06,581 So why does it say "status active," huh? 351 00:15:06,685 --> 00:15:07,857 I don't know. 352 00:15:07,961 --> 00:15:10,306 I must have deleted the app but not my account. 353 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:14,099 I'm just saying... 354 00:15:14,202 --> 00:15:16,719 if you wanna go out with other people, that's fine. 355 00:15:16,823 --> 00:15:18,099 I don't. 356 00:15:18,202 --> 00:15:20,650 Do you? 357 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,857 Is that what this is all about? 358 00:15:22,961 --> 00:15:24,961 Why would you even ask me that? 359 00:15:25,064 --> 00:15:28,340 I'm not the one trawling the internet for guys. 360 00:15:28,443 --> 00:15:30,030 - Trawling? - Mm. 361 00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:31,271 Like a shrimp boat? 362 00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:32,788 You're saying I'm a shrimp boat? 363 00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:35,306 If the shoe fits, Bubba Gump. 364 00:15:35,409 --> 00:15:36,788 You know what? 365 00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:39,168 I'm gonna go. 366 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,237 Good, yeah. 367 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,099 Go. 368 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,202 Fine. 369 00:15:44,306 --> 00:15:46,512 - Goodby... - [back cracks] 370 00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:50,512 Oh, no, fuck. 371 00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:58,926 [groans] 372 00:15:59,030 --> 00:16:00,995 [sighs] 373 00:16:01,099 --> 00:16:02,892 Who needs Brenda? 374 00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:12,512 [?] 375 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,926 Oh! 376 00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:21,443 [?] 377 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:22,995 Hi, Wally. 378 00:16:23,099 --> 00:16:24,306 [?] 379 00:16:24,409 --> 00:16:26,892 [heavy breathing] 380 00:16:30,409 --> 00:16:32,064 It isn't even on. 381 00:16:32,168 --> 00:16:36,099 What the fuck did that acupuncturist do to me? 382 00:16:36,202 --> 00:16:37,547 Ahh! 383 00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:40,306 Oh-ho-ho, for me? 384 00:16:40,409 --> 00:16:41,271 Free? 385 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:45,168 Wow, yes, take that. 386 00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:46,995 Legit, dude. [sniffs] Yeah. 387 00:16:47,099 --> 00:16:48,409 I know, right? 388 00:16:48,512 --> 00:16:49,911 I don't even know what audition I booked this from. 389 00:16:49,995 --> 00:16:52,099 - I did so many. - It's your time, dude. 390 00:16:52,202 --> 00:16:54,497 - Break a leg. I'll be in the car. - Okay, thanks for doing this. 391 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,306 Couldn't have done it without you. 392 00:16:56,409 --> 00:16:57,877 - Hey, are you Edmund Lin? - Yes, that's me. 393 00:16:57,961 --> 00:17:00,237 - Right this way. - Wait a minute. 394 00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:03,340 I've only been auditioning under Ed Lin. 395 00:17:03,443 --> 00:17:05,409 How do you know my name is Edmund? 396 00:17:05,512 --> 00:17:07,271 Oh, uh, I don't know. 397 00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,512 It says here Edmund Lin. 398 00:17:09,616 --> 00:17:11,961 And in the notes it says, "Favor hire for mother. 399 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,823 Don't tell him." 400 00:17:13,926 --> 00:17:17,719 Are you F-ing kidding me! 401 00:17:18,892 --> 00:17:22,788 [?] 402 00:17:22,892 --> 00:17:25,064 KIM: Edmund, what's the big deal? 403 00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:26,340 I just made a few calls. 404 00:17:26,443 --> 00:17:30,375 No, I said I wanted to make it without your help! 405 00:17:30,478 --> 00:17:32,926 - KIM: Honey, I'm your mother. - No, mother! 406 00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:36,754 I finally realized that I would rather get a wine opener stuck 407 00:17:36,857 --> 00:17:41,547 in my butthole than ever depend on you again. 408 00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:44,857 From this day forward, I am cutting myself 409 00:17:44,961 --> 00:17:49,168 off of your money... effective immediately. 410 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,443 - Goodbye. - [phone beeps] 411 00:17:52,547 --> 00:17:53,980 You gotta call her back, tell her you think 412 00:17:54,064 --> 00:17:55,271 that's a lot of money. 413 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,739 Continue getting the money and just send it to me! 414 00:17:56,823 --> 00:18:00,064 No! I am going to do this for myself 415 00:18:00,168 --> 00:18:02,995 without her or any help. 416 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:10,995 Oh my God, did I just make a huge mistake? 417 00:18:11,099 --> 00:18:13,995 Definitely, because nepotism is a big way into Hollywood. 418 00:18:14,099 --> 00:18:17,271 But then also, starting over no money, connections, 419 00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:18,616 no prospects. 420 00:18:18,719 --> 00:18:20,547 It's bold and admirable. 421 00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:22,099 Thank you. 422 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,926 Even if it means I have to do a million sketchy auditions, 423 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:30,306 at least I'll know I made it... on my own. 424 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,719 - [singing] - No. 425 00:18:32,823 --> 00:18:33,995 Yeah, I'll work on it. 426 00:18:35,857 --> 00:18:39,926 [groaning] Oh God, it's you. 427 00:18:40,030 --> 00:18:42,478 Your mom called and said your back seized up. 428 00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:44,133 I just came to check on you. 429 00:18:44,237 --> 00:18:47,340 I know you roofied me with your devil needles to make me 430 00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:49,719 have weird fantasies about you. 431 00:18:49,823 --> 00:18:51,030 But it won't work. 432 00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:52,271 I know what I want now. 433 00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:53,616 - Oh, you do? - Mm-hmm. 434 00:18:53,719 --> 00:18:55,443 What do you want? 435 00:18:55,547 --> 00:18:57,099 I want Brenda. 436 00:18:57,202 --> 00:19:00,064 [?] 437 00:19:00,168 --> 00:19:02,512 - Brenda? - Wally, have you been du-du-du? 438 00:19:02,616 --> 00:19:04,375 What are you doing here? 439 00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:05,719 I just told you. 440 00:19:05,823 --> 00:19:07,650 Your mom called, told me your back seized up, 441 00:19:07,754 --> 00:19:10,271 and I came by to check on you. 442 00:19:11,754 --> 00:19:14,133 Oh God, I'm sorry. 443 00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:16,926 I freaked out about you being on Friiiingr. 444 00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:22,512 I just got so jealous. 445 00:19:22,616 --> 00:19:25,719 [sighs] Well, I get it. 446 00:19:25,823 --> 00:19:29,099 - Because I'm awesome. - [scoffs] 447 00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,857 Yeah, you are. 448 00:19:32,478 --> 00:19:33,857 You're alright, dollface. 449 00:19:33,961 --> 00:19:35,961 You're alright, too, man face. 450 00:19:36,064 --> 00:19:38,306 - No, I'm a dumbass. Hey. - Yeah. 451 00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:39,892 My back doesn't hurt anymore. 452 00:19:39,995 --> 00:19:42,064 'Cause I slipped you some aspirin. 453 00:19:42,168 --> 00:19:46,099 You know aspirin works just as well as acupuncture. 454 00:19:46,202 --> 00:19:47,340 Oh, really? 455 00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:49,478 That's so embarrassing that my mom called you. 456 00:19:49,581 --> 00:19:52,719 No, she's just really worried about you. 457 00:19:52,823 --> 00:19:54,015 Yeah, I'll tell you one thing. 458 00:19:54,099 --> 00:19:56,202 - She's always looking out for me. - Mm-hmm. 459 00:19:56,306 --> 00:19:59,237 [?] 460 00:20:02,616 --> 00:20:03,616 Hey, Nora? 461 00:20:03,719 --> 00:20:05,030 What, Edmund? 462 00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:10,857 It's normal to be... scared, right? 463 00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:12,409 Yeah. 464 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:13,892 I'd say that's normal. 465 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:18,754 [?] 466 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:21,478 [TV indistinct wrestling] 467 00:20:21,581 --> 00:20:23,271 NORA: [mumbling] 468 00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:25,754 - Nora! - NORA: [mumbling] 469 00:20:25,857 --> 00:20:27,719 - Nora! - No, the '90s. 470 00:20:27,823 --> 00:20:29,478 - Nora! - Yeah. What, yeah? 471 00:20:29,581 --> 00:20:31,271 Sorry, can you turn that down? 472 00:20:31,375 --> 00:20:32,237 Turn what down? 473 00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:34,409 The wrestling or whatever. 474 00:20:34,512 --> 00:20:35,443 That's what you heard? 475 00:20:35,547 --> 00:20:36,616 Yeah. 476 00:20:36,719 --> 00:20:38,685 Yeah, I'll put it through my phones. 477 00:20:38,788 --> 00:20:40,961 [?] 478 00:20:41,064 --> 00:20:42,168 Thanks, Nora. 479 00:20:44,892 --> 00:20:47,271 [TV indistinct wrestling] 480 00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:49,237 - Nora! - NORA: [mumbling] 481 00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:50,547 [sighs] 482 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:53,409 [TV indistinct chatter] 483 00:20:53,512 --> 00:20:55,478 I can still hear it. 484 00:20:58,202 --> 00:21:03,995 [?] 485 00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:24,030 Who the [bleep] is Awkwafina? 486 00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:26,512 [?] 487 00:21:26,616 --> 00:21:28,719 ? MTV 488 00:21:29,305 --> 00:22:29,469 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 489 00:22:29,519 --> 00:22:34,069 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33264

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