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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,242 --> 00:00:04,052 [ominous music] 2 00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:11,044 [♪ ♪] 3 00:00:19,927 --> 00:00:21,078 Hi, hi. 4 00:00:22,835 --> 00:00:26,171 Norman Mailer lived, uh, two doors down. 5 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,313 I saw him bite Rip Torn's ear off one night. 6 00:00:29,398 --> 00:00:31,164 Seems like a different lifetime. 7 00:00:31,796 --> 00:00:33,949 If you're looking for more action, I can, uh, 8 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,186 show you something on Commercial Street. 9 00:00:36,405 --> 00:00:38,813 But you should know that by November, even downtown 10 00:00:38,898 --> 00:00:42,015 is so empty and quiet that you could hear a gnat fart. 11 00:00:42,171 --> 00:00:43,601 I like the quiet. 12 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:45,539 Need my privacy. 13 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,515 How's the ventilation? 14 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,829 These old houses can get pretty stuffy. 15 00:00:49,914 --> 00:00:50,967 You a writer? 16 00:00:51,475 --> 00:00:52,617 Painter? 17 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:54,866 Hermit? 18 00:00:54,951 --> 00:00:56,671 I know you're not here for the social scene, 19 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:57,882 whatever's left of it. 20 00:00:58,090 --> 00:00:59,796 I've been here for 50 years. 21 00:00:59,881 --> 00:01:00,881 [chuckles] 22 00:01:01,121 --> 00:01:03,094 You know, back in the day, you'd walk downtown, 23 00:01:03,179 --> 00:01:05,348 and you'd see boys getting butt‐fucked on front porches 24 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:08,184 like some kind of perverted Norman Rockwell painting. 25 00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:11,521 It was true homosexual Americana. 26 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:15,458 Now it's Mom and Dad or Dad and Dad or Mom and Mom 27 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:18,695 and baby stroller gridlock all fucking summer long. 28 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,397 I just left my job at a lab in Providence. 29 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,983 What are you, a chemist? 30 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,169 It was an ugly divorce. 31 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,737 I just need some time alone. 32 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,706 Let's cut the bullshit. 33 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:32,242 A big‐city chemist looking for a quiet place 34 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,444 with great ventilation in a town where the things 35 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,479 that are most plentiful for eight months a year 36 00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:39,616 are methheads, choppy seas, and depression? 37 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,984 That sounds like a woman looking to set up 38 00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,152 her own little meth lab. 39 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,087 I have a PhD from Harvard. 40 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:47,056 Meth is well below my pay grade. 41 00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,591 Good. 42 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:50,493 'Cause the sheriff has a nose like a truffle pig 43 00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:53,263 for that junk. 44 00:01:53,347 --> 00:01:56,065 Just lookin' for some quiet. 45 00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,034 I'll take it. 46 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:01,070 [suspenseful music] 47 00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:08,028 [♪ ♪] 48 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:16,074 49 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,496 [liquid trickling] 50 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:33,520 [♪ ♪] 51 00:02:57,589 --> 00:03:00,230 [chilling music] 52 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:07,254 [♪ ♪] 53 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,901 54 00:03:58,993 --> 00:04:00,456 55 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:08,063 [piano music playing] 56 00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:10,121 Do you know that guy, uh, Tex? 57 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:10,996 He cruises the docks? 58 00:04:11,081 --> 00:04:13,002 Wait, don't tell me. He's from Texas. 59 00:04:13,245 --> 00:04:15,183 Yeah. How'd you know? 60 00:04:15,268 --> 00:04:16,542 [laughs] 61 00:04:16,777 --> 00:04:18,528 Anyway, he taught me this trick 62 00:04:18,612 --> 00:04:19,930 you do right before a guy comes. 63 00:04:20,014 --> 00:04:22,032 - Mm. - You press down on his taint, 64 00:04:22,116 --> 00:04:23,432 you time it just right, 65 00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:25,344 you can get him to come again right away. 66 00:04:25,472 --> 00:04:28,381 Mm, but you'll charge me for just the one, right? 67 00:04:28,663 --> 00:04:29,746 Exactly. 68 00:04:29,831 --> 00:04:31,130 You're playing out of your league. 69 00:04:31,214 --> 00:04:32,385 Scram. 70 00:04:32,469 --> 00:04:33,919 Look, can I just borrow ten bucks? 71 00:04:34,104 --> 00:04:37,273 I said scram, methhead. 72 00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:42,795 - Hi. - Hi. 73 00:04:42,879 --> 00:04:46,365 I'm new in town, got a few extra bucks. 74 00:04:46,449 --> 00:04:47,633 You do girls too? 75 00:04:47,717 --> 00:04:49,535 - Yep. - Here. 76 00:04:49,619 --> 00:04:50,836 Look at that. I'm a gentleman. 77 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,655 [chuckles] 78 00:04:53,823 --> 00:04:56,709 [eerie music] 79 00:04:56,793 --> 00:04:58,511 [♪ ♪] 80 00:04:58,595 --> 00:04:59,963 Don't touch anything. 81 00:05:03,366 --> 00:05:06,786 So, uh, what do you want? [chuckles] 82 00:05:07,049 --> 00:05:08,496 Kind of do things as a standard 83 00:05:08,581 --> 00:05:10,113 sliding scale kind of deal. 84 00:05:10,198 --> 00:05:12,245 It's, uh, $50 for oral. 85 00:05:12,409 --> 00:05:13,726 Straight‐up sex, that's $100, 86 00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:16,628 but I'm currently running a Halloween special. 87 00:05:18,815 --> 00:05:20,266 I'll do anything for 20 bucks. 88 00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:22,001 But Halloween isn't for a week. 89 00:05:22,085 --> 00:05:25,668 Mm. It's a, um, seasonal thing. 90 00:05:25,753 --> 00:05:27,542 - [both laugh] - I just wanna talk. 91 00:05:30,124 --> 00:05:31,225 I'll pay you for your time. 92 00:05:34,364 --> 00:05:35,456 All right. 93 00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:38,284 Tell me about your dreams. 94 00:05:39,026 --> 00:05:40,386 Like, at night? 95 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,909 No. Like, in life. 96 00:05:43,417 --> 00:05:47,206 You ever wanna be a model or play for the Yankees? 97 00:05:47,659 --> 00:05:50,214 You really think I could be a model? 98 00:05:50,547 --> 00:05:53,307 No. But you must have something. 99 00:05:53,995 --> 00:05:55,112 Everyone does. 100 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:58,899 Well, I write a little. 101 00:05:58,995 --> 00:06:00,206 You any good? 102 00:06:00,924 --> 00:06:02,269 I don't know. 103 00:06:02,354 --> 00:06:03,190 [laughs] 104 00:06:03,315 --> 00:06:04,458 I don't think I've ever shown anyone 105 00:06:04,542 --> 00:06:06,776 anything I've written before, but, uh... 106 00:06:07,175 --> 00:06:10,716 um, yeah, you know, I think I'm pretty good. 107 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,253 Why, you, like, a big‐time movie producer or something? 108 00:06:14,337 --> 00:06:16,288 I'm a biochemical engineer. 109 00:06:16,372 --> 00:06:18,391 Spent the past nine years working with the U. S. military 110 00:06:18,475 --> 00:06:19,759 trying to understand and unlock 111 00:06:19,843 --> 00:06:21,827 the creative parts of the brain. 112 00:06:21,911 --> 00:06:24,430 They wanna make more creative soldiers? 113 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:25,865 Less. 114 00:06:25,949 --> 00:06:27,733 They don't want them to think for themselves. 115 00:06:27,817 --> 00:06:29,268 But to lock up the creative mind, 116 00:06:29,352 --> 00:06:31,904 we also have to understand how to unlock it. 117 00:06:31,988 --> 00:06:33,305 We have tons of research 118 00:06:33,389 --> 00:06:35,374 from studying highly creative people. 119 00:06:35,458 --> 00:06:37,510 Every one of 'em says the same thing. 120 00:06:37,594 --> 00:06:39,879 They don't know where it comes from. 121 00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:42,682 [whispering] But I do. 122 00:06:42,766 --> 00:06:44,817 [normally] The occipital lobe. 123 00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:47,887 Talented people have denser, more numerous clusters 124 00:06:47,971 --> 00:06:49,989 of neurons in that area. 125 00:06:50,073 --> 00:06:53,559 I don't care if you are Bill fucking Shakespeare. 126 00:06:53,643 --> 00:06:55,807 If I whack you hard enough in that part of your head, 127 00:06:56,513 --> 00:06:58,081 you'll never write again. 128 00:06:59,649 --> 00:07:02,334 So I started developing a drug to target that area. 129 00:07:02,495 --> 00:07:05,338 Made the neurons in that part of the brain fire at 10, 130 00:07:05,422 --> 00:07:08,274 50, 1,000 times faster and more frequently 131 00:07:08,358 --> 00:07:10,743 than they usually do. 132 00:07:10,827 --> 00:07:13,212 Uh, wow, um... [laughs] 133 00:07:13,296 --> 00:07:14,947 Did it work? 134 00:07:15,031 --> 00:07:16,749 We started testing it on primates. 135 00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:20,286 And yeah, it worked... 136 00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:21,687 on some of the apes. 137 00:07:21,771 --> 00:07:23,723 The ones who tested higher on cognitive tests 138 00:07:23,807 --> 00:07:26,359 before we gave them the medicine. 139 00:07:26,443 --> 00:07:30,796 Suddenly, they could play complex notes on a keyboard. 140 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,533 So, um, what happened to the ones it, like, didn't work on? 141 00:07:34,617 --> 00:07:36,502 They became highly aggressive. 142 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:37,970 Bloodthirsty. 143 00:07:38,054 --> 00:07:40,873 Tore the other apes limb from limb. 144 00:07:40,957 --> 00:07:42,441 I think the medicine has different effects 145 00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,610 on creative and noncreative people. 146 00:07:44,694 --> 00:07:46,645 It's almost like the noncreative ones 147 00:07:46,729 --> 00:07:49,482 can tolerate their lack of talent 148 00:07:49,566 --> 00:07:52,284 until they're confronted with it. 149 00:07:52,368 --> 00:07:54,938 Then their mediocrity drives 'em mad. 150 00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:58,475 So... 151 00:08:00,643 --> 00:08:02,595 Wanna try one? 152 00:08:02,679 --> 00:08:04,530 Fuck no! 153 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,850 Maybe you're one of the talented ones. 154 00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:12,455 Um... 155 00:08:14,424 --> 00:08:16,676 Thanks but no, thanks. 156 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,246 Uh, look, can I just get my money? 157 00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,947 It's a long winter. 158 00:08:22,031 --> 00:08:29,288 [♪ ♪] 159 00:08:29,372 --> 00:08:32,591 I'll give you $50 for anyone you convince 160 00:08:32,675 --> 00:08:34,493 to come take one of these lil' black beauties. 161 00:08:34,577 --> 00:08:41,518 [♪ ♪] 162 00:08:45,522 --> 00:08:46,605 [scattered applause] 163 00:08:46,689 --> 00:08:47,773 Maybe I should sing tonight. 164 00:08:47,857 --> 00:08:49,942 Do you think they have any Joan Baez? 165 00:08:50,026 --> 00:08:53,579 Ooh, wow, Joan Baez. [both laugh] 166 00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,448 Wait, doesn't, uh, singin' make your cough worse anyway? 167 00:08:55,532 --> 00:08:57,350 Yeah, but... 168 00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:59,452 good news is, it's October and I've only had bronchitis 169 00:08:59,536 --> 00:09:00,786 five times this year. 170 00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:03,289 Oh, that's a‐‐ a real victory, Karen. 171 00:09:03,373 --> 00:09:04,423 [both laugh] 172 00:09:04,507 --> 00:09:05,775 [coughs] 173 00:09:08,611 --> 00:09:10,229 I always get depressed this time of year. 174 00:09:10,313 --> 00:09:13,265 Oh, no, no. 175 00:09:13,349 --> 00:09:15,468 I love it. 176 00:09:15,552 --> 00:09:20,740 All the assholes leave town, and the galleries close, and... 177 00:09:20,824 --> 00:09:25,295 none of the paintings inside them mock me when I walk by. 178 00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:31,283 Do you think you're talented? 179 00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:32,385 Like, uh‐‐like, uh‐‐ like, if you just had, 180 00:09:32,469 --> 00:09:34,353 like, a little bit of help, 181 00:09:34,437 --> 00:09:36,422 you could paint things good enough for those galleries? 182 00:09:36,506 --> 00:09:38,457 Oh. 183 00:09:38,541 --> 00:09:40,893 No. 184 00:09:40,977 --> 00:09:43,729 No, I'm shit inside and out. 185 00:09:43,813 --> 00:09:48,367 Can I have a hit, please, before I bore myself to tears? 186 00:09:48,451 --> 00:09:49,702 Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are" playing... 187 00:09:49,786 --> 00:09:51,437 [microphone feedback whines] 188 00:09:51,521 --> 00:09:54,407 [♪ ♪] 189 00:09:54,491 --> 00:09:56,342 [sniffs, coughs] 190 00:09:56,426 --> 00:09:59,612 ♪ Don't go changing ♪ 191 00:09:59,696 --> 00:10:03,315 ♪ To try and please me ♪ 192 00:10:03,399 --> 00:10:06,986 ♪ You never let me down before ♪ 193 00:10:07,070 --> 00:10:10,222 [suspenseful music] 194 00:10:10,306 --> 00:10:11,424 [banging on door] 195 00:10:11,508 --> 00:10:18,414 [♪ ♪] 196 00:10:19,816 --> 00:10:20,833 Hey. 197 00:10:20,917 --> 00:10:22,334 I'm a singer. 198 00:10:22,418 --> 00:10:24,937 Mickey sent me. 199 00:10:25,021 --> 00:10:26,790 [door creaks] 200 00:10:30,293 --> 00:10:33,396 [door creaking] 201 00:10:39,736 --> 00:10:41,854 [soft dramatic music] 202 00:10:41,938 --> 00:10:43,522 [bell rings] 203 00:10:43,606 --> 00:10:46,392 Welcome, welcome to our last 204 00:10:46,476 --> 00:10:49,240 Autumn Reading Octoberfest event. 205 00:10:49,325 --> 00:10:52,029 Some people come out to the Cape to see the foliage, 206 00:10:52,114 --> 00:10:54,646 others for a fresh bag of cranberries 207 00:10:54,731 --> 00:10:56,630 or a walk in the dunes. 208 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,380 But the authors we've been lucky enough 209 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,794 to bring here to read their new works 210 00:11:01,879 --> 00:11:05,999 are just as satisfying a draw, if you ask me. 211 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:09,469 Today I'd like to welcome Belle Noir, 212 00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:12,472 a romance novelist, self‐published, 213 00:11:12,556 --> 00:11:15,041 who will be reading from her new book, 214 00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:17,644 "Martha's Cherry Tree," 215 00:11:17,728 --> 00:11:20,029 a rather racy retelling 216 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:23,467 of the George and Martha Washington story. 217 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:27,554 [light applause] 218 00:11:27,638 --> 00:11:28,906 Thank you. 219 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:36,680 I'm going to read you a section of chapter 17. 220 00:11:39,216 --> 00:11:41,201 Martha suspects George is sleeping 221 00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:42,869 with one of their maids. 222 00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:46,317 And upon searching the maid's bed, 223 00:11:47,825 --> 00:11:50,856 she finds one of George's wooden teeth. 224 00:11:51,595 --> 00:11:53,841 Rather than confront George, 225 00:11:54,565 --> 00:11:57,145 she decides to seduce the maid herself. 226 00:11:58,294 --> 00:12:00,224 "'I cannot tell a lie. 227 00:12:01,572 --> 00:12:03,341 "I cannot tell a lie.' 228 00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:06,670 "Had he whispered those false words 229 00:12:06,755 --> 00:12:08,595 "to innocent little Penelope 230 00:12:08,903 --> 00:12:11,075 "when he drove himself into her? 231 00:12:11,755 --> 00:12:13,867 "Had he lied about loving her? 232 00:12:13,951 --> 00:12:16,184 "Lied about her being the only one? 233 00:12:17,513 --> 00:12:19,700 "Lied about never lying? 234 00:12:20,349 --> 00:12:22,876 "The only thing that distracted her from these thoughts 235 00:12:23,099 --> 00:12:26,959 "was the soft skin of Penelope's breasts and belly 236 00:12:27,044 --> 00:12:30,550 "as Martha slowly kissed her way down to the hairy warmth 237 00:12:30,634 --> 00:12:32,770 between the young maid's legs." 238 00:12:37,875 --> 00:12:40,794 [doleful music] 239 00:12:40,878 --> 00:12:47,767 [♪ ♪] 240 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,603 [bell rings] 241 00:12:49,687 --> 00:12:56,643 [♪ ♪] 242 00:12:56,727 --> 00:12:58,239 Who should I make it out to? 243 00:12:58,363 --> 00:12:59,964 The Chemist. 244 00:13:01,591 --> 00:13:02,903 You're a good writer. 245 00:13:04,144 --> 00:13:05,677 That's very kind of you. 246 00:13:06,673 --> 00:13:08,375 Got some real potential. 247 00:13:10,107 --> 00:13:12,779 Tell the publishing houses for me, would you? 248 00:13:12,864 --> 00:13:17,063 [♪ ♪] 249 00:13:17,147 --> 00:13:21,034 [seagulls squawking] 250 00:13:21,118 --> 00:13:25,205 [♪ ♪] 251 00:13:25,289 --> 00:13:27,997 You said you were going to come in for the reading. 252 00:13:29,707 --> 00:13:31,770 Your books gross me out. 253 00:13:33,364 --> 00:13:35,693 It grosses you out to hear your wife talk about sex? 254 00:13:35,778 --> 00:13:38,231 Yes, especially this book. 255 00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:41,982 I can't look at a $1 bill or Mount Rushmore anymore 256 00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:43,890 without wantin' to puke. 257 00:13:44,216 --> 00:13:45,525 How many books did you sell? 258 00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:48,194 - One. - [scoffs] For fuck's sake. 259 00:13:48,652 --> 00:13:50,140 I would've just bought a book from you at home, 260 00:13:50,224 --> 00:13:51,640 and we could've skipped this bullshit. 261 00:13:51,724 --> 00:13:53,199 It's not bullshit. 262 00:13:53,622 --> 00:13:54,974 It's my dream. 263 00:13:55,059 --> 00:13:56,116 What do you want from me, Belle? 264 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,053 I'm here, aren't I? I agreed to puttin' up 265 00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,507 a big chunk of our retirement for this dumb book tour, 266 00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,876 during which we've sold six books. 267 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,511 You want me to support your dream? 268 00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:06,746 Here I am, supporting the fuck out of it. 269 00:14:06,830 --> 00:14:09,049 [chuckling] And I'm grateful. 270 00:14:09,427 --> 00:14:12,752 But can't you see I'm doing it for both of us? 271 00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,955 I could be the next Danielle Steel. 272 00:14:15,039 --> 00:14:17,090 She's worth a billion dollars. 273 00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:19,020 How many times has she been married? 274 00:14:19,138 --> 00:14:20,627 Four, maybe five. 275 00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:23,947 Well, I guess then there's one way you could be like her. 276 00:14:27,084 --> 00:14:28,786 [huffs] 277 00:14:30,254 --> 00:14:33,607 [♪ ♪] 278 00:14:33,691 --> 00:14:35,645 Let's go back to the hotel and freshen up 279 00:14:35,730 --> 00:14:37,654 and then watch the sunset from Muse. 280 00:14:37,739 --> 00:14:39,520 I hear it's beautiful. 281 00:14:40,597 --> 00:14:42,608 Do you want me to suck some cock while I'm in there? 282 00:14:42,692 --> 00:14:44,490 What? No. 283 00:14:44,575 --> 00:14:46,155 Then why are you asking me to go to a homo bar 284 00:14:46,239 --> 00:14:49,684 and do something totally gay like watch the fucking sunset? 285 00:14:50,176 --> 00:14:51,607 I wanna do something actually fun, 286 00:14:51,692 --> 00:14:53,062 like the haunted dune tour. 287 00:14:53,270 --> 00:14:56,232 Sounds scary, I don't wanna have nightmares. 288 00:14:56,316 --> 00:14:59,101 I need my sleep before the next tour stop in the Vineyard. 289 00:14:59,185 --> 00:15:01,937 You know why I'm really so angry at you? 290 00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:03,505 It's not the stupid book tour 291 00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:05,343 or the fact that you write about sex all day 292 00:15:05,427 --> 00:15:07,076 but haven't touched my dick in two years. 293 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,410 It's that you're weak 294 00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:10,012 and scared 295 00:15:10,096 --> 00:15:11,755 and boring. 296 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,359 I'm the same as I was when you married me 40 years ago. 297 00:15:14,444 --> 00:15:15,989 Well, I was at work for those 40 years. 298 00:15:16,102 --> 00:15:17,530 Now that I have to be with you all the time, 299 00:15:17,614 --> 00:15:18,919 it's intolerable. 300 00:15:20,039 --> 00:15:22,108 I hear they have great calamari! 301 00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,864 [soft piano music playing] 302 00:15:28,948 --> 00:15:33,335 [♪ ♪] 303 00:15:33,419 --> 00:15:35,938 Hey. 304 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:38,474 Pretty cool color on your nails. 305 00:15:38,862 --> 00:15:39,862 You mind if I join you? 306 00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,478 What are you, a hustler? 307 00:15:42,746 --> 00:15:45,044 I wrote a book about a hustler 308 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,428 who ends up sleeping with the head of the KGB 309 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,885 and then becomes head of the CIA. 310 00:15:50,364 --> 00:15:52,474 That sounds awesome. [chuckles] 311 00:15:52,711 --> 00:15:53,795 I'd like to read that. 312 00:15:54,013 --> 00:15:55,388 I'll send you a copy. 313 00:15:56,309 --> 00:15:58,872 You're wasting your time with me; I'm married. 314 00:15:59,544 --> 00:16:00,856 Wait. 315 00:16:01,106 --> 00:16:02,388 I know you. 316 00:16:02,915 --> 00:16:04,358 You're the author that was doing the reading 317 00:16:04,442 --> 00:16:05,817 at the bookstore, right? 318 00:16:06,419 --> 00:16:08,740 - Were you there? - Uh, well, no. 319 00:16:08,825 --> 00:16:10,827 They, uh‐‐they don't let me in there anymore 320 00:16:10,912 --> 00:16:13,466 after I stole the, uh, "Screenplay for Dummies" book 321 00:16:13,622 --> 00:16:14,622 a while back, but, uh, 322 00:16:14,747 --> 00:16:16,267 I saw you through the window. 323 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,668 You write too? 324 00:16:17,752 --> 00:16:20,671 Ah, sometimes, but not like you. 325 00:16:20,755 --> 00:16:22,950 You're, like, a real published author. 326 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,224 Self‐published. 327 00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:27,147 Hey, I mean, 328 00:16:27,232 --> 00:16:28,846 just finishing a book's a big deal, right? 329 00:16:28,930 --> 00:16:30,164 [chuckles] 330 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,392 Let me buy you a drink. 331 00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:35,622 Yeah. 332 00:16:35,903 --> 00:16:38,255 I know they say that anyone can be a writer, 333 00:16:38,339 --> 00:16:40,524 because all you have to do is sit down and write, 334 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,393 but that doesn't make you a writer any more 335 00:16:42,477 --> 00:16:44,562 than a kid playing catch is a ballplayer 336 00:16:44,646 --> 00:16:46,830 or a sperm donor is a dad. 337 00:16:46,914 --> 00:16:49,133 I know I'm not the greatest writer in the world. 338 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:52,303 I mean, a lot of my stuff is schlock, but... 339 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:53,804 I'm a writer; I know I am. 340 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,573 I can't stop. 341 00:16:55,657 --> 00:16:57,308 Even if it wrecks my marriage, 342 00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:58,609 even if I go broke doing it, 343 00:16:58,693 --> 00:17:00,678 even if I never sell a book, 344 00:17:00,762 --> 00:17:02,563 it's who I am. 345 00:17:05,466 --> 00:17:07,117 Can I ask you a question? 346 00:17:07,201 --> 00:17:09,520 Do you have any cocaine? 347 00:17:09,604 --> 00:17:12,656 I always wanted to try it, and you look like a drug addict. 348 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,124 No offense. 349 00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,859 Oh, none taken. 350 00:17:15,943 --> 00:17:17,661 - 'Cause I am. - Mm. 351 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:21,398 But, um, no, no coke. But... 352 00:17:21,482 --> 00:17:22,800 I've got something better. 353 00:17:22,884 --> 00:17:25,803 [ominous music] 354 00:17:25,887 --> 00:17:30,874 [♪ ♪] 355 00:17:30,958 --> 00:17:33,143 [sniffs] 356 00:17:33,227 --> 00:17:34,278 [gasps] 357 00:17:34,362 --> 00:17:37,214 [chaotic percussive music] 358 00:17:37,298 --> 00:17:43,871 [♪ ♪] 359 00:17:50,211 --> 00:17:53,163 [dreamy pop music playing] 360 00:17:53,247 --> 00:17:57,568 [♪ ♪] 361 00:17:57,652 --> 00:18:00,571 [ominous music] 362 00:18:00,655 --> 00:18:01,705 [♪ ♪] 363 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:04,608 Give me a Bloody Mary. 364 00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:06,543 Hey, dude, you don't look good. 365 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,412 I feel sick. 366 00:18:08,496 --> 00:18:11,882 I think that bitch Karen gave me bronchitis or something. 367 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,384 You sure? 'Cause she says 368 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:14,785 she hasn't been sick in a while. 369 00:18:14,869 --> 00:18:21,576 [♪ ♪] 370 00:18:27,915 --> 00:18:29,417 I'm gonna puke. 371 00:18:31,619 --> 00:18:33,287 [door slams] 372 00:18:36,424 --> 00:18:39,360 [retching] 373 00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:44,548 [panting] 374 00:18:44,632 --> 00:18:47,518 [unsettling music] 375 00:18:47,602 --> 00:18:54,542 [♪ ♪] 376 00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,206 I'm so happy. 377 00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:11,141 Uh, yeah, that's the drugs. 378 00:19:11,225 --> 00:19:12,676 Then I want more. 379 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,545 [laughs] Yeah, you see, 380 00:19:14,629 --> 00:19:15,846 it doesn't really work that way. 381 00:19:15,930 --> 00:19:18,115 First time's the best, and then, uh, 382 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,250 you end up chasing that high forever, 383 00:19:19,334 --> 00:19:21,685 and you never catch it. 384 00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:23,454 That's some bullshit. 385 00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:24,739 - Mm‐hmm. - [laughs] 386 00:19:26,741 --> 00:19:28,459 Uh, you know, I, uh‐‐ 387 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,327 I know someone that can give you something else. 388 00:19:30,411 --> 00:19:32,529 Something that can make you happy forever. 389 00:19:32,613 --> 00:19:33,853 How come you're not taking it? 390 00:19:35,616 --> 00:19:38,269 'Cause it's, uh‐‐ it's not for me. 391 00:19:38,353 --> 00:19:41,272 It only works for people like you. 392 00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:42,706 Artists. 393 00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:48,679 [♪ ♪] 394 00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:51,348 We've been waitin' half an hour. 395 00:19:51,432 --> 00:19:53,384 I wanted to read this first. 396 00:19:53,468 --> 00:19:55,786 You have talent. 397 00:19:55,870 --> 00:19:57,521 - Thank you. - Took everything in me 398 00:19:57,605 --> 00:19:59,156 not to rub one out during that threesome 399 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,393 with George and Martha and Ben Franklin. 400 00:20:02,477 --> 00:20:04,128 I've always found heavier‐set men 401 00:20:04,212 --> 00:20:05,747 to be extremely attractive. 402 00:20:07,949 --> 00:20:10,267 Mickey tell you what I'm offering? 403 00:20:10,351 --> 00:20:12,269 Making all my dreams come true. 404 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,878 - I'm in. - You wanna know about 405 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:14,806 the side effects? 406 00:20:14,891 --> 00:20:16,259 I know I'm talented. 407 00:20:17,892 --> 00:20:20,444 The pills create certain cravings. 408 00:20:20,528 --> 00:20:21,745 And they cause aggression 409 00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:24,582 even in the subjects with positive results. 410 00:20:24,666 --> 00:20:26,684 I could use a little of that too. 411 00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:29,520 According to my husband. 412 00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,855 Please, I need this. 413 00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:35,659 [♪ ♪] 414 00:20:35,743 --> 00:20:37,812 The effects are temporary. 415 00:20:39,647 --> 00:20:41,665 You're gonna have to keep taking them as it wears off. 416 00:20:41,749 --> 00:20:42,934 And you're gonna have to stick around 417 00:20:43,018 --> 00:20:44,768 and agree to let me study you. 418 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,526 Whatever it takes... 419 00:20:48,115 --> 00:20:51,034 [♪ ♪] 420 00:20:51,510 --> 00:20:53,245 To finding my destiny. 421 00:20:53,428 --> 00:20:59,867 [♪ ♪] 422 00:21:04,238 --> 00:21:06,190 [breathes shakily] 423 00:21:06,274 --> 00:21:13,130 [♪ ♪] 424 00:21:13,214 --> 00:21:14,431 [keys jangling] 425 00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:15,676 [lock clicks] 426 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,211 [line rings] 427 00:21:27,295 --> 00:21:28,855 You've reached Ray. Leave a message. 428 00:21:28,940 --> 00:21:31,348 Asshole. [beep] 429 00:21:31,432 --> 00:21:32,783 [sudden intense music] 430 00:21:32,867 --> 00:21:35,319 [gagging and spitting] 431 00:21:35,403 --> 00:21:38,190 [sinister music] 432 00:21:38,406 --> 00:21:45,346 [♪ ♪] 433 00:21:56,658 --> 00:21:59,543 [music intensifies] 434 00:21:59,627 --> 00:22:06,534 [♪ ♪] 435 00:22:38,232 --> 00:22:41,135 [laughing hysterically] 436 00:22:49,973 --> 00:22:51,708 Good morning. 437 00:22:53,881 --> 00:22:56,267 What's wrong with you? 438 00:22:56,351 --> 00:22:58,135 I wrote a book last night. 439 00:22:58,526 --> 00:23:00,137 A whole book, and it's‐‐ 440 00:23:00,221 --> 00:23:02,042 it's beautiful. 441 00:23:03,212 --> 00:23:04,407 Bullshit. 442 00:23:04,655 --> 00:23:06,056 Let me see. 443 00:23:09,854 --> 00:23:11,282 You didn't write this. 444 00:23:11,366 --> 00:23:12,650 What? 445 00:23:12,734 --> 00:23:14,160 - Yes, I did. - You couldn't have. 446 00:23:14,245 --> 00:23:15,580 It's good. 447 00:23:16,836 --> 00:23:18,703 I did write it! 448 00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:21,979 I went out and danced 449 00:23:22,064 --> 00:23:23,682 and took methamphetamine 450 00:23:23,767 --> 00:23:25,870 and met a chemist and had the time of my life! 451 00:23:25,955 --> 00:23:27,916 And then I came home, and I wrote this! 452 00:23:28,001 --> 00:23:29,667 Where the fuck were you? 453 00:23:30,047 --> 00:23:31,698 I went to the dunes tour, 454 00:23:31,783 --> 00:23:33,170 and I got drunk, 455 00:23:33,254 --> 00:23:35,439 and I met a woman who doesn't dress like a schoolteacher, 456 00:23:35,523 --> 00:23:37,207 and I fucked her right there in the sand 457 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:39,209 until we passed out. 458 00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:41,579 Then we woke up and fucked again. 459 00:23:41,663 --> 00:23:44,848 - [gasps] - Now I'm gonna take a shower. 460 00:23:44,932 --> 00:23:46,417 I'm gonna pack my things. 461 00:23:46,502 --> 00:23:47,472 I'm gonna go over to the Red Inn. 462 00:23:47,557 --> 00:23:49,119 I'm gonna fuck her for a third time. 463 00:23:49,405 --> 00:23:50,949 Because this marriage... 464 00:23:51,034 --> 00:23:52,289 is over. 465 00:23:52,373 --> 00:23:54,284 [sobs] 466 00:23:54,676 --> 00:23:57,127 [heartbeat thumping] 467 00:23:57,211 --> 00:23:58,262 What? 468 00:23:58,346 --> 00:23:59,794 You got something you wanna say? 469 00:23:59,879 --> 00:24:00,947 [groans] 470 00:24:02,617 --> 00:24:03,495 [screams] 471 00:24:03,618 --> 00:24:04,668 Ah! 472 00:24:04,752 --> 00:24:07,871 [gagging] 473 00:24:07,955 --> 00:24:10,874 [tense music] 474 00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:14,712 [♪ ♪] 475 00:24:15,085 --> 00:24:18,449 [muffled screaming] 476 00:24:18,717 --> 00:24:21,385 [slurping and grunting] 477 00:24:21,469 --> 00:24:23,153 [panting] 478 00:24:23,237 --> 00:24:27,524 [♪ ♪] 479 00:24:27,905 --> 00:24:30,127 What was the feeling exactly? 480 00:24:30,561 --> 00:24:33,241 I don't know. Rage? 481 00:24:34,248 --> 00:24:37,608 Like Braveheart or a beast of the wild. 482 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,460 But that's not what made me attack him. 483 00:24:40,608 --> 00:24:42,406 What was it? 484 00:24:42,883 --> 00:24:44,445 Thirst. 485 00:24:45,344 --> 00:24:47,672 I could smell his blood through his skin. 486 00:24:48,436 --> 00:24:50,354 I was gonna die if I didn't drink it. 487 00:24:50,648 --> 00:24:51,711 Fascinating. 488 00:24:52,736 --> 00:24:54,787 Not surprising, but fascinating. 489 00:24:55,020 --> 00:24:56,538 You knew this was going to happen? 490 00:24:56,622 --> 00:24:58,139 [exhales sharply] 491 00:24:58,223 --> 00:24:59,941 After the rages, 492 00:25:00,025 --> 00:25:02,143 the apes would drink the blood of their kills. 493 00:25:02,227 --> 00:25:04,879 When we autopsied the ones before they drank, 494 00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:07,082 we noticed a depletion of sodium, potassium, 495 00:25:07,166 --> 00:25:09,562 calcium, and magnesium in their blood. 496 00:25:09,834 --> 00:25:12,954 I wasn't sure it'd have the same effect on humans, but... 497 00:25:13,172 --> 00:25:15,281 makes sense that it would. 498 00:25:15,484 --> 00:25:17,306 Am I going to have to keep drinking blood 499 00:25:17,391 --> 00:25:18,883 to keep writing like that? 500 00:25:20,648 --> 00:25:23,046 Would that stop you from continuing to take the pills? 501 00:25:23,297 --> 00:25:28,156 [♪ ♪] 502 00:25:28,758 --> 00:25:31,726 What happened after you drank from your husband? 503 00:25:32,028 --> 00:25:34,953 I, uh, sat down and... 504 00:25:36,766 --> 00:25:39,986 wrote the first 50 pages of part two of my book. 505 00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:42,429 I didn't even care about Ray. 506 00:25:43,156 --> 00:25:44,968 I just had to write. 507 00:25:46,008 --> 00:25:47,250 First things first, 508 00:25:47,383 --> 00:25:49,117 you got to get rid of your husband's body. 509 00:25:49,476 --> 00:25:53,468 [♪ ♪] 510 00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:54,936 Come on. 511 00:25:55,185 --> 00:25:56,969 Mm. 512 00:25:57,053 --> 00:26:01,707 [♪ ♪] 513 00:26:01,791 --> 00:26:03,409 Ah! 514 00:26:03,493 --> 00:26:05,476 [♪ ♪] 515 00:26:05,629 --> 00:26:07,680 No, no, no, no, no! Back, back, back. 516 00:26:08,124 --> 00:26:09,909 Jesus. 517 00:26:10,354 --> 00:26:11,354 Ew. 518 00:26:16,517 --> 00:26:18,456 Did your hair all fall out on its own? 519 00:26:18,541 --> 00:26:19,725 Most of it. 520 00:26:19,929 --> 00:26:21,460 I shaved the rest. 521 00:26:21,544 --> 00:26:23,896 Otherwise I'd look like Riff Raff from "Rocky Horror." 522 00:26:23,980 --> 00:26:25,961 Your skin is looking rather creamy. 523 00:26:26,101 --> 00:26:27,868 Probably a form of anemia. 524 00:26:27,953 --> 00:26:29,435 How's your temper? 525 00:26:29,519 --> 00:26:31,493 Have you shown any aggression towards anyone? 526 00:26:31,578 --> 00:26:32,672 No. 527 00:26:33,015 --> 00:26:34,540 I'm a fucking Buddhist. 528 00:26:34,765 --> 00:26:37,910 I wanna be like Bono and use my music to help people. 529 00:26:38,406 --> 00:26:39,679 I need more pills. 530 00:26:39,937 --> 00:26:41,595 The dose you gave me must have been too low. 531 00:26:41,679 --> 00:26:44,851 I have never felt a jones like this before. 532 00:26:45,195 --> 00:26:47,820 I told you, I set the protocol. 533 00:26:48,116 --> 00:26:50,118 And you don't get another pill until day five. 534 00:26:50,203 --> 00:26:51,456 It's day three. 535 00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:53,039 What did you do to me? 536 00:26:53,225 --> 00:26:54,559 Why is this happening to me? 537 00:26:54,644 --> 00:26:56,422 Please, give me a fix. 538 00:26:56,507 --> 00:26:57,656 Just one more pill. 539 00:26:57,741 --> 00:26:59,711 You're part of a very important study. 540 00:26:59,796 --> 00:27:01,948 And you volunteered for it. 541 00:27:02,033 --> 00:27:03,463 Honestly, I don't know what's happening to you 542 00:27:03,547 --> 00:27:04,656 or what comes next. 543 00:27:04,741 --> 00:27:06,626 All I know is, no more pills for two days. 544 00:27:06,821 --> 00:27:08,873 And if I die before then? 545 00:27:08,968 --> 00:27:11,604 I'm freezing cold. I can't stop shivering. 546 00:27:11,688 --> 00:27:12,973 Is that supposed to happen? 547 00:27:13,057 --> 00:27:14,341 It's October. 548 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:16,312 You're wearing a light jacket. 549 00:27:17,249 --> 00:27:19,033 Go get yourself a proper fucking coat. 550 00:27:19,297 --> 00:27:26,204 [♪ ♪] 551 00:27:27,853 --> 00:27:28,987 [bell rings] 552 00:27:36,513 --> 00:27:37,828 I'm diggin' the look. 553 00:27:37,913 --> 00:27:39,664 Vampire Michael Stipe. 554 00:27:40,551 --> 00:27:43,053 Or anorexic Uncle Fester? 555 00:27:45,122 --> 00:27:46,873 You want a tattoo? 556 00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:48,174 I do them in the back. 557 00:27:48,258 --> 00:27:49,542 I could give you bat wings 558 00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:52,145 or, like, a grim reaper dancing on your arm. 559 00:27:52,229 --> 00:27:53,213 I need a coat. 560 00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:54,547 And I don't have a lot of money. 561 00:27:54,631 --> 00:27:55,982 I got just the thing. 562 00:27:56,066 --> 00:27:57,951 [♪ ♪] 563 00:27:58,035 --> 00:27:59,152 These look expensive. 564 00:27:59,236 --> 00:28:01,855 They were, in the '80s. 565 00:28:01,939 --> 00:28:03,923 All the fashion gays from New York and Boston 566 00:28:04,007 --> 00:28:07,293 came out here to let their dicks and rainbow flags fly. 567 00:28:07,377 --> 00:28:09,062 Then they all died and left behind closets 568 00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:10,563 full of this high‐fashion stuff. 569 00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:12,432 When the straight yuppies moved into town, 570 00:28:12,516 --> 00:28:16,002 they cleaned out the closets and donated all of it to us. 571 00:28:16,086 --> 00:28:19,572 I was hoping to sell a few for Halloween, but no takers. 572 00:28:19,656 --> 00:28:22,159 I'll basically give one to you if you take it off my hands. 573 00:28:25,062 --> 00:28:27,981 [ominous music] 574 00:28:28,065 --> 00:28:34,972 [♪ ♪] 575 00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:44,898 [whispering indistinctly] 576 00:28:44,982 --> 00:28:51,889 [♪ ♪] 577 00:28:57,561 --> 00:28:59,546 You don't look well. 578 00:28:59,630 --> 00:29:02,015 Would you pray with me? 579 00:29:02,099 --> 00:29:03,883 Yeah. 580 00:29:03,967 --> 00:29:08,855 [praying in Portuguese] 581 00:29:08,939 --> 00:29:12,959 [♪ ♪] 582 00:29:13,043 --> 00:29:16,896 [breathing shallowly] 583 00:29:16,980 --> 00:29:20,100 [♪ ♪] 584 00:29:20,184 --> 00:29:23,103 [chaotic music] 585 00:29:23,187 --> 00:29:30,094 [♪ ♪] 586 00:29:31,428 --> 00:29:34,331 [slurping] 587 00:29:38,102 --> 00:29:39,452 [roars] 588 00:29:39,536 --> 00:29:41,154 [children screaming] 589 00:29:41,238 --> 00:29:44,391 [dark music] 590 00:29:44,475 --> 00:29:47,560 [♪ ♪] 591 00:29:47,644 --> 00:29:49,629 - [distorted] - Awesome costume, dude. 592 00:29:49,713 --> 00:29:53,533 [laughter] 593 00:29:53,617 --> 00:30:00,557 [♪ ♪] 594 00:30:02,493 --> 00:30:03,961 [knocking] 595 00:30:06,497 --> 00:30:08,915 The candy's in the‐‐ 596 00:30:08,999 --> 00:30:10,401 [whispering] Come in. 597 00:30:13,370 --> 00:30:14,370 [normally] What happened? 598 00:30:16,673 --> 00:30:18,358 It states in section four of the contract you signed 599 00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:19,559 to be a part of the study 600 00:30:19,643 --> 00:30:21,161 that you have complete confidentiality 601 00:30:21,245 --> 00:30:23,363 for anything you say in here. 602 00:30:23,447 --> 00:30:26,032 I was in the cemetery, and I‐‐ 603 00:30:26,116 --> 00:30:27,367 I don't know what happened. 604 00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:29,135 I'm a vegan. 605 00:30:29,219 --> 00:30:31,204 I don't even eat those Impossible Burgers, 606 00:30:31,288 --> 00:30:33,173 but the thirst for her was too much. 607 00:30:33,257 --> 00:30:34,474 How much blood did you drink? 608 00:30:34,558 --> 00:30:36,409 I don't fucking know! 609 00:30:36,493 --> 00:30:37,944 I killed her! 610 00:30:38,028 --> 00:30:40,213 She asked me to pray with her, and I killed her! 611 00:30:40,297 --> 00:30:42,315 Did you feel anger, rage? 612 00:30:42,399 --> 00:30:43,984 Yes. Why? 613 00:30:44,068 --> 00:30:45,051 - [sighs] - You drank the blood 614 00:30:45,135 --> 00:30:47,253 'cause the pills create a deficiency. 615 00:30:47,337 --> 00:30:50,390 You felt the rage because you now hate everyone. 616 00:30:50,474 --> 00:30:52,926 Why? 617 00:30:53,010 --> 00:30:55,295 I told you, I'm a pacifist. 618 00:30:55,379 --> 00:30:56,429 You hate everyone because you now know 619 00:30:56,513 --> 00:30:58,431 the truth about yourself. 620 00:30:58,515 --> 00:31:00,133 You're not talented. 621 00:31:00,217 --> 00:31:02,035 You don't have what it takes. 622 00:31:02,119 --> 00:31:04,938 [somber music] 623 00:31:05,022 --> 00:31:07,340 [crying] 624 00:31:07,424 --> 00:31:09,409 The talented ones need the blood, 625 00:31:09,493 --> 00:31:11,511 but their rage comes from their arrogance 626 00:31:11,595 --> 00:31:13,146 and certainty that they're better than everyone. 627 00:31:13,230 --> 00:31:17,083 The rage of the untalented is much darker, more intense. 628 00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:20,170 You hate the world for giving you dreams that were too big. 629 00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:23,189 Back up, motherfucker. 630 00:31:23,273 --> 00:31:25,258 [growls] 631 00:31:25,342 --> 00:31:28,094 Never come back here again. 632 00:31:28,178 --> 00:31:31,264 Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have plenty of company soon. 633 00:31:31,348 --> 00:31:33,900 Soon as word gets out about what I'm sellin' here, 634 00:31:33,984 --> 00:31:35,402 every asshole whose mother told him he could be 635 00:31:35,486 --> 00:31:38,271 the next Elvis or Tyler Perry 636 00:31:38,355 --> 00:31:40,240 gonna take a chance on that little black pill. 637 00:31:40,324 --> 00:31:43,176 Nine out of ten of 'em are gonna end up just like you. 638 00:31:43,261 --> 00:31:44,911 Now, get the fuck out my house. 639 00:31:44,996 --> 00:31:49,883 [♪ ♪] 640 00:31:49,967 --> 00:31:52,886 [intense music] 641 00:31:52,970 --> 00:31:56,556 [♪ ♪] 642 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,429 [retching] 643 00:31:58,513 --> 00:31:59,605 Ugh. 644 00:31:59,816 --> 00:32:02,429 [groans] 645 00:32:02,513 --> 00:32:03,886 Hey, dude. 646 00:32:04,350 --> 00:32:06,628 Never mix tequila and merlot. 647 00:32:07,651 --> 00:32:10,036 [snarling] 648 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:11,839 [screams] 649 00:32:20,664 --> 00:32:24,691 [♪ ♪] 650 00:32:26,228 --> 00:32:27,868 You wanna try that on? 651 00:32:28,638 --> 00:32:30,523 I don't know, perhaps. 652 00:32:30,732 --> 00:32:33,518 I'm looking to create an entirely new closet, 653 00:32:33,602 --> 00:32:34,985 a whole new look. 654 00:32:35,084 --> 00:32:36,068 New guy in your life? 655 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,111 Mm, no, I like to play the field, 656 00:32:38,265 --> 00:32:40,117 preferably with multiple players. 657 00:32:40,342 --> 00:32:41,526 [chuckles] 658 00:32:41,610 --> 00:32:43,561 I left my husband a few winters ago. 659 00:32:43,645 --> 00:32:45,680 Left him in pieces on the beach. 660 00:32:47,282 --> 00:32:48,633 Just kidding. 661 00:32:48,717 --> 00:32:51,202 I killed my last boyfriend. 662 00:32:51,286 --> 00:32:53,905 He could bang me pretty good, but he was boring as fuck. 663 00:32:53,989 --> 00:32:55,239 So I drank him dry and burned the body. 664 00:32:55,323 --> 00:32:57,075 [laughs softly] 665 00:32:57,159 --> 00:32:58,976 How long you been on the pill? 666 00:32:59,060 --> 00:33:00,912 Two years. You? 667 00:33:00,996 --> 00:33:02,046 Couple of months. 668 00:33:02,130 --> 00:33:03,514 What's motivating the new look? 669 00:33:03,598 --> 00:33:05,483 I always thought that a woman should pick a look 670 00:33:05,567 --> 00:33:08,286 before she turns 40 and stick with it. 671 00:33:08,370 --> 00:33:10,955 For men, it's 50. And I did that. 672 00:33:11,039 --> 00:33:12,924 But lately I've been thinking that that's a rule 673 00:33:13,008 --> 00:33:15,193 for people with no second act. 674 00:33:15,277 --> 00:33:16,994 I've published six "New York Times" best sellers 675 00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:18,996 in the past two years, 676 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,465 one that was turned into a film franchise. 677 00:33:20,549 --> 00:33:21,966 [gasps] 678 00:33:22,050 --> 00:33:23,501 "The Heart is the Bitterest Root," 679 00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:25,069 I love those movies. 680 00:33:25,153 --> 00:33:26,637 What about you, dear? 681 00:33:26,721 --> 00:33:28,606 How does your little black pill‐driven greatness 682 00:33:28,690 --> 00:33:30,541 express itself? 683 00:33:30,625 --> 00:33:32,143 Tattoos. 684 00:33:32,227 --> 00:33:34,445 And these. 685 00:33:34,529 --> 00:33:36,581 [laughing] Oh, my! How convenient. 686 00:33:36,665 --> 00:33:38,416 I must have a set! 687 00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:39,684 I can arrange that. 688 00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:41,403 Step into my office. 689 00:33:43,038 --> 00:33:44,655 After, we can give you a wardrobe makeover. 690 00:33:44,739 --> 00:33:46,190 Mm, I'm belle of the ball. 691 00:33:46,274 --> 00:33:48,443 [both chuckle] 692 00:33:49,244 --> 00:33:52,163 [dark music] 693 00:33:52,247 --> 00:33:58,202 [♪ ♪] 694 00:33:58,286 --> 00:34:00,905 [indistinct chatter, laughter] 695 00:34:00,989 --> 00:34:06,511 [♪ ♪] 696 00:34:06,595 --> 00:34:08,012 $5 cover. 697 00:34:08,096 --> 00:34:10,381 It's drag night. We gotta pay the performers. 698 00:34:10,465 --> 00:34:14,986 [♪ ♪] 699 00:34:15,070 --> 00:34:16,521 Wanna check my ID? 700 00:34:16,605 --> 00:34:19,424 Nah. You're good. 701 00:34:19,508 --> 00:34:24,028 [crowd cheering] 702 00:34:24,112 --> 00:34:28,366 Thank you! We're gonna take a short break 703 00:34:28,450 --> 00:34:29,233 before our next performer! 704 00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:30,034 [applause] 705 00:34:30,118 --> 00:34:33,171 Thumping dance music playing... 706 00:34:33,255 --> 00:34:39,210 [♪ ♪] 707 00:34:39,294 --> 00:34:41,145 Drag is an art form. 708 00:34:41,229 --> 00:34:42,547 I am a professional. 709 00:34:42,631 --> 00:34:44,282 You three... 710 00:34:44,366 --> 00:34:45,917 straight boys in bad wigs. 711 00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:47,385 - [laughs] - Pfft! 712 00:34:47,469 --> 00:34:49,587 You know, men have been performing in women's clothing 713 00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:51,222 since the time of the Greeks. 714 00:34:51,306 --> 00:34:54,092 You all just appropriated it for gay culture. 715 00:34:54,176 --> 00:34:56,094 Speak for yourself, dude. 716 00:34:56,178 --> 00:34:58,563 I don't give two shits who's appropriate or not appropriate. 717 00:34:58,647 --> 00:35:00,665 All I know is, I can make more doin' this than painting houses 718 00:35:00,749 --> 00:35:02,667 or stealing from my grandmother. 719 00:35:02,751 --> 00:35:04,969 My problem with you is, 720 00:35:05,053 --> 00:35:06,571 you're the ugliest fuckin' woman I ever seen. 721 00:35:06,655 --> 00:35:10,675 [coughs] And your drag name is awful. 722 00:35:10,759 --> 00:35:12,143 Patty O'Furniture. 723 00:35:12,227 --> 00:35:13,611 That's an awesome name. 724 00:35:13,695 --> 00:35:14,679 And why in the hell do you think people 725 00:35:14,763 --> 00:35:16,981 want to be thinkin' of some suburban deck chair 726 00:35:17,065 --> 00:35:18,583 while you perform for them? 727 00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:20,485 Look at me! 728 00:35:20,569 --> 00:35:22,687 I'm Crystal Decanter. 729 00:35:23,009 --> 00:35:25,990 I ooze elegance and shine. 730 00:35:26,074 --> 00:35:27,225 I don't know why y'all are tryin' to read him 731 00:35:27,309 --> 00:35:28,459 when y'all are just as bad as he is, 732 00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:29,894 probably worse. 733 00:35:29,978 --> 00:35:33,064 Next up, Patty O'Furniture. 734 00:35:33,148 --> 00:35:34,265 Oh, fuck my life. 735 00:35:34,349 --> 00:35:36,651 Don't even try to upstage me, asswipe. 736 00:35:38,186 --> 00:35:39,537 - [coughs] - What a loser. 737 00:35:39,621 --> 00:35:41,539 Boo! 738 00:35:41,623 --> 00:35:43,574 - Break a nail, whore. - Yeah. 739 00:35:43,658 --> 00:35:45,243 The only thing he's gonna break is his heels. 740 00:35:45,327 --> 00:35:48,613 - Loser. - Ugh, girrrl. 741 00:35:48,697 --> 00:35:50,982 [♪ ♪] 742 00:35:51,066 --> 00:35:53,618 Heart's "Magic Man" playing... 743 00:35:53,702 --> 00:35:57,321 [cheers and applause] 744 00:35:57,405 --> 00:36:00,591 [♪ ♪] 745 00:36:00,675 --> 00:36:02,097 ♪ Cold late night ♪ 746 00:36:02,182 --> 00:36:03,294 ♪ So long ago ♪ 747 00:36:03,378 --> 00:36:05,430 ♪ When I was not so strong, you know ♪ 748 00:36:05,514 --> 00:36:06,931 ♪ A pretty man came to me ♪ 749 00:36:07,015 --> 00:36:08,499 - Boo, boo! - Awful! 750 00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:10,201 ♪ Never seen eyes so blue ♪ 751 00:36:10,285 --> 00:36:12,970 ♪ You know I could not run away, it seemed ♪ 752 00:36:13,054 --> 00:36:15,006 ♪ We'd seen each other in a dream ♪ 753 00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:17,375 ♪ Seemed like he knew me ♪ 754 00:36:17,459 --> 00:36:21,446 ♪ He looked right through me, yeah ♪ 755 00:36:21,530 --> 00:36:23,532 Go, girlfriend! 756 00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:29,520 ♪ "Come on home, girl," he said with a smile ♪ 757 00:36:29,604 --> 00:36:31,522 ♪ "You don't have to love me yet ♪ 758 00:36:31,606 --> 00:36:32,557 ♪ Let's get high awhile" ♪ 759 00:36:32,641 --> 00:36:33,991 You suck! 760 00:36:34,075 --> 00:36:36,060 ♪ But try to understand ♪ 761 00:36:36,144 --> 00:36:38,663 ♪ Try to understand ♪ 762 00:36:38,747 --> 00:36:43,034 ♪ Oh, oh‐oh ♪ 763 00:36:43,118 --> 00:36:45,336 ♪ Try ♪ 764 00:36:45,420 --> 00:36:48,139 ♪ Try to understand ♪ 765 00:36:48,223 --> 00:36:51,275 ♪ Try, try, try to understand ♪ 766 00:36:51,359 --> 00:36:54,112 - [laughs] - Loser! 767 00:36:54,196 --> 00:36:56,080 ♪ He's a magic man ♪ 768 00:36:56,164 --> 00:36:57,915 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 769 00:36:57,999 --> 00:37:00,418 ♪ Ooh ♪ 770 00:37:00,502 --> 00:37:05,256 ♪ He got the magic hands ♪ 771 00:37:05,340 --> 00:37:08,159 ♪ He's a magic man ♪ 772 00:37:08,243 --> 00:37:10,361 ♪ Yeah ♪ 773 00:37:10,445 --> 00:37:14,316 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 774 00:37:15,584 --> 00:37:18,436 [mournful piano music playing] 775 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:25,460 [♪ ♪] 776 00:37:33,163 --> 00:37:34,173 What is it? 777 00:37:34,258 --> 00:37:35,809 Does it matter? 778 00:37:35,893 --> 00:37:38,796 Goes down easy and gets you high. 779 00:37:40,865 --> 00:37:43,550 Uh‐huh. 780 00:37:43,634 --> 00:37:46,553 [somber music] 781 00:37:46,637 --> 00:37:48,188 [♪ ♪] 782 00:37:48,943 --> 00:37:50,357 You don't belong in here... 783 00:37:50,441 --> 00:37:52,693 doing this... 784 00:37:52,777 --> 00:37:54,628 dressed like that. 785 00:37:54,712 --> 00:37:57,297 I've got a nose for talent. 786 00:37:57,381 --> 00:37:58,832 Why is a young man of your gifts 787 00:37:58,916 --> 00:38:00,835 lip‐synching in drag 788 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,940 on the cock tip of Cape Cod in the winter? 789 00:38:04,024 --> 00:38:05,975 I'm a playwright. 790 00:38:06,059 --> 00:38:08,077 I sweet‐talked the owner of the playhouse in town 791 00:38:08,161 --> 00:38:10,146 into putting on one of my plays. 792 00:38:10,230 --> 00:38:12,682 I rented a place, I moved out here, 793 00:38:12,766 --> 00:38:16,152 I started casting, and then the guy just... 794 00:38:16,236 --> 00:38:17,653 disappeared. 795 00:38:17,737 --> 00:38:18,654 Not a trace of him. 796 00:38:18,738 --> 00:38:20,056 Oh. 797 00:38:20,140 --> 00:38:21,424 What'd he look like? 798 00:38:21,508 --> 00:38:24,460 Like, six feet tall, chubby, 799 00:38:24,544 --> 00:38:26,963 kind of red face all the time. 800 00:38:27,047 --> 00:38:28,998 Why, have you seen him? 801 00:38:29,082 --> 00:38:30,967 [intense music] 802 00:38:31,051 --> 00:38:32,468 [gagging] 803 00:38:32,552 --> 00:38:33,603 [muffled screaming] 804 00:38:33,687 --> 00:38:36,672 [♪ ♪] 805 00:38:36,756 --> 00:38:38,558 No. 806 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,078 [sighs] 807 00:38:42,162 --> 00:38:45,081 I'm doin' this drag thing just to pay for food, 808 00:38:45,165 --> 00:38:46,700 pack of smokes. 809 00:38:48,468 --> 00:38:49,585 I'm bad at it. 810 00:38:49,669 --> 00:38:51,687 I know I'm bad at it. 811 00:38:51,771 --> 00:38:54,457 I just feel like an engine that won't turn over. 812 00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:57,593 I just‐‐I turn the key, and I click, click, click, 813 00:38:57,677 --> 00:39:00,730 and I can't catch. 814 00:39:00,814 --> 00:39:03,733 [ominous music] 815 00:39:03,817 --> 00:39:07,003 [♪ ♪] 816 00:39:07,087 --> 00:39:08,471 What's that? 817 00:39:08,555 --> 00:39:12,074 It's your new starter switch. 818 00:39:12,158 --> 00:39:14,677 It's the highway to your true self. 819 00:39:14,761 --> 00:39:17,813 [♪ ♪] 820 00:39:17,897 --> 00:39:19,966 Fuck it. 821 00:39:24,170 --> 00:39:25,772 [exhales] 822 00:39:28,041 --> 00:39:30,593 [chaotic music] 823 00:39:30,677 --> 00:39:31,694 [piano notes play] 824 00:39:31,778 --> 00:39:33,396 [coughing] 825 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:35,464 [gurgling] 826 00:39:35,548 --> 00:39:37,934 [music fades] 827 00:39:38,018 --> 00:39:40,086 [groans] 828 00:39:41,554 --> 00:39:43,906 [spits, groans] 829 00:39:43,990 --> 00:39:47,043 [unsettling music] 830 00:39:47,127 --> 00:39:49,545 What did you give me? 831 00:39:49,629 --> 00:39:52,748 What do you feel? 832 00:39:52,832 --> 00:39:54,951 - Unstoppable. - Unafraid. 833 00:39:55,035 --> 00:39:57,887 Furious. [inhales sharply] 834 00:39:57,971 --> 00:40:00,857 [gags] 835 00:40:00,941 --> 00:40:02,859 And starving. 836 00:40:02,943 --> 00:40:04,894 Let's go get you fed 837 00:40:04,978 --> 00:40:07,530 and get a little revenge at the same time. 838 00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:09,699 [♪ ♪] 839 00:40:09,783 --> 00:40:11,067 Yeah. 840 00:40:11,151 --> 00:40:13,803 [♪ ♪] 841 00:40:13,887 --> 00:40:16,405 All of these ladies have found themselves 842 00:40:16,489 --> 00:40:18,608 in a dead heat for first. 843 00:40:18,692 --> 00:40:19,909 I would do so much better 844 00:40:19,993 --> 00:40:21,777 than all these bitches on this show. 845 00:40:21,861 --> 00:40:23,746 Can we please watch something else? 846 00:40:23,830 --> 00:40:25,548 I told you straight boys, 847 00:40:25,632 --> 00:40:27,984 if you want makeup tips from Ms. Crystal, 848 00:40:28,068 --> 00:40:31,988 you pay for the pizza, and we watch what I wanna watch. 849 00:40:32,072 --> 00:40:33,523 I kind of like this show. 850 00:40:33,607 --> 00:40:35,491 High fuckin' drama, you know? 851 00:40:35,575 --> 00:40:37,059 Please put on a hockey game before I start singin' 852 00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:38,961 "The Wizard of Oz" and thinkin' about dick. 853 00:40:39,045 --> 00:40:42,732 [laughter] 854 00:40:42,816 --> 00:40:44,901 Can we help you? 855 00:40:44,985 --> 00:40:46,702 If you're gonna make it in this business, 856 00:40:46,786 --> 00:40:48,938 you might want to camp it up a little bit more, sweetheart. 857 00:40:49,022 --> 00:40:51,440 Though I do like her wig. 858 00:40:51,524 --> 00:40:53,910 Oh, I'm not one of you. 859 00:40:53,994 --> 00:40:55,545 - [chuckles] - Ugh. 860 00:40:55,629 --> 00:40:58,447 Ugh, well, no wonder you have no sparkle. 861 00:40:58,531 --> 00:41:00,416 Gettin' advice from that sultan of snore. 862 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,068 Lock the door. 863 00:41:03,570 --> 00:41:04,954 - [gunshot] - Ah! 864 00:41:05,038 --> 00:41:06,122 [shrieks] 865 00:41:06,206 --> 00:41:07,990 [groans] 866 00:41:08,074 --> 00:41:09,592 [screaming] 867 00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:11,711 [gunshots] [all screaming] 868 00:41:15,882 --> 00:41:16,950 [whimpering] 869 00:41:18,485 --> 00:41:19,835 Retreat! 870 00:41:19,919 --> 00:41:24,707 [♪ ♪] 871 00:41:24,791 --> 00:41:25,791 Hiyah! 872 00:41:27,627 --> 00:41:28,945 Ugh. 873 00:41:29,029 --> 00:41:31,981 [panting] 874 00:41:32,065 --> 00:41:33,916 You can't win 'em all. 875 00:41:34,261 --> 00:41:36,746 I'm full anyway. 876 00:41:36,831 --> 00:41:38,282 What do we do now? 877 00:41:38,441 --> 00:41:40,326 Now... 878 00:41:40,411 --> 00:41:41,674 we go write. 879 00:41:41,849 --> 00:41:46,356 [♪ ♪] 880 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,792 [panting, whimpering] 881 00:41:48,876 --> 00:41:55,416 [♪ ♪] 882 00:42:00,454 --> 00:42:02,893 [crying] 883 00:42:02,978 --> 00:42:04,018 Okay, it's okay. 884 00:42:04,103 --> 00:42:05,167 [sniffles] 885 00:42:08,020 --> 00:42:09,537 Okay. 886 00:42:10,513 --> 00:42:13,302 [screams]58960

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