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1
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:03,037
.
2
00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:06,407
- The bat is now contained,
but still very much alive.
3
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:10,244
Human movement and noise
tends to agitate the animal.
4
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,813
It will not bite the skin,
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:16,550
but it will aggressively
attack the eyes.
6
00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:20,121
So please do not use the
bathroom beside room number--
7
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,490
- All right, everybody,
get out your lunches.
8
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:25,159
Quickly. Come on. Let's go.
My local bagel shop
9
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,228
decided to take the morning
off, so I'm starving.
10
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,263
Come on. I need to see
what Mommy packed.
11
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:31,365
- No, no, no, no, no.
12
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,834
That is such an annoying word.
Don't--don't do that.
13
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,369
Now, get
back of the class, Marcus.
14
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:36,837
- Yes, I'm serious.
15
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,406
Go, now.
16
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,608
Just, I can't--
17
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,343
I can't do it
with you today, man.
18
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,179
Too hungry.
19
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:47,081
Naw, that's not gonna work.
Turn your desk around.
20
00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:49,850
I can't look at your face.
I just can't.
21
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,153
- "Hangry" means horny
and angry.
22
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,455
Basically, you're so horny
that you're angry.
23
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,124
- All right, that's still
not working for me.
24
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,591
See that leak right there?
25
00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,160
Try and get ya
under that leak.
26
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:00,694
All right? Get your body
under that leak.
27
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,396
Not the desk.
Your body.
28
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:05,566
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!
That's perfect.
29
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,401
There we go. Now...
30
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:10,304
if none of you are willing
to share your snacks with me...
31
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:11,505
then I'm off
to the vending machine
32
00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,374
for a little dose of C-13:
33
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,343
Cape Cod Salt and Vinegar
potato chips.
34
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,545
Have you guys had 'em?
Yum!
35
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,281
Oh, and if Marcus moves,
36
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,515
you all get detention.
37
00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:23,651
[Ramones'
"Listen to My Heart"]
38
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,419
- One, two, three, four!
39
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:28,289
- * Next time
I'll listen to my heart *
40
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,159
* Next time,
well, I'll be smart *
41
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:38,232
*
42
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,304
*
43
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,347
That's not what C-13 is.
44
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,683
Hey, Ralph, Ralph,
Ralph.
45
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,351
Come here, man.
Hey,
46
00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:59,253
What the hell's
going on around here?
47
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,455
- Oh, well, um...
between us,
48
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,324
a moth laid eggs
49
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,226
in the auditorium curtain.
Now, they hatched...
50
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,560
- Mm-hmm.
- Now there's moths in the air.
51
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:09,230
What loves moths?
Bats...all right?
52
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,332
And I mean bats...plural.
53
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,201
- I don't care. That's not
what I'm talking about.
54
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:14,468
Where are my chips?
What is this?
55
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,470
- Oh! The student council
is responsible
56
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,339
for what goes
in the snack machine,
57
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,241
and they're doing this
really cool thing right now
58
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,575
called Healthy Habits.
59
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,444
- Okay, tell me,
what's your day lookin' like?
60
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,246
Pretty light?
- Puhh. Very busy.
61
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:27,215
- Okay. Gonna need you
to shuffle some things around,
62
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,582
make getting my chips back
your number one.
63
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,518
- No, Jack. You do not
wanna get involved
64
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,387
with the student council.
'Kay? I-i-it's the most
65
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,256
toxically ambitious group
of students
66
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:37,225
all together in one room.
67
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,526
Come on, Ralph,
you're telling me
68
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,294
you're gonna be
intimidated by a group
69
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:42,730
of overachieving virgins?
70
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,433
- Yes.
71
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,607
[percussive suspenseful
music]
72
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:58,379
*
73
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,580
All right.
74
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:05,419
Ah, good. Grace! Hi.
75
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,688
Just the person
I wanted to speak to. Hey.
76
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,557
I'm gonna need you to get
my salt and vinegar chips
77
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,392
back in the vending
machines.
78
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,561
- Oh. I'm just the secretary.
79
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:16,730
I take notes.
I count votes during elections.
80
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,732
If you wanna change
a policy,
81
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,534
you need to talk to
the president.
82
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,002
Ugh.
All right, fine.
83
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,537
Who's the president?
84
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,440
- You may take your seats.
85
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:28,609
Let's get this baby started.
86
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,680
- You gotta be kidding me.
87
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,384
Tssss.
- Mr. Griffin,
88
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,552
you are more than welcome
to take a seat in the back.
89
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,421
- That's cute.
Why don't we skip to the part
90
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:42,323
where I get what I want--
namely chips--
91
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,757
back in the vending machines?
92
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,326
- Hmm. Well, unfortunately,
93
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,328
we do have a little bit
of an agenda.
94
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,330
First up on the list
is the discussion
95
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,599
of our new rooftop garden...
96
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:54,602
which I can confirm will be
generously sponsored
97
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,470
by Kasperak Motors.
98
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,539
Turns out, I had a connection.
99
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:02,476
It's a joke.
They're my parents.
100
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,312
- You guys actually listen
to him?
101
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,813
- Hey, I have a mandate
from the student body.
102
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,582
I was elected in a landslide
over Scottie Deeks.
103
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,618
And he plays football.
- Yeah, well, I'm guessing
104
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,653
Scottie Deeks
sucks pretty hard.
105
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,556
All right, talk about
your stupid garden.
106
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,890
Go. Hurry.
- Thank you.
107
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,792
Now, on to the selection
of vegetables.
108
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,395
And you know what?
I think we should vote on them
109
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:23,364
one by one, alphabetically.
110
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,765
Starting with alfalfa.
111
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,800
All in favor.
all: Aye.
112
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,536
- Wow. Unanimous for alfalfa.
113
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:32,373
Absolutely wonderful.
Next up will be...
114
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,308
buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
115
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,710
You know what?
I...completely lost my place.
116
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:38,846
Grace, can you read back
the alfalfa results, please?
117
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,481
- No. Hold on a second.
Chips. Okay?
118
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:42,316
Why don't we do chips,
all right?
119
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:43,817
I'm an adult,
and I want chips,
120
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,653
so I get chips.
- Oh, my G--
121
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,621
Oh, I know
what's going on here.
122
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,090
This isn't about chips at all.
What?
123
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,326
- Fired from Harvard,
stuck in Toledo,
124
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,396
and these chips are just one
more thing you can't control.
125
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,830
All agreed?
all: Aye.
126
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,400
- Don't vote on that!
- Let's put an end to this
127
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,669
right now.
All in favor of restoring
128
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,472
Salt and vinegar chips
to the vending machine...
129
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,408
Victor.
130
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:10,378
Wow. Motion denied.
131
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,380
Sorry, Mr. Griffin.
132
00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:14,615
- Okay.
133
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,517
Yeah, all right.
134
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,387
- Bye!
135
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:26,960
.
136
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,329
- Now, you would agree
that looking good
137
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:30,998
also helps with feeling good?
138
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,066
- I suppose.
- And you would also agree
139
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,902
that more radiant skin
140
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,805
is preferable
to less radiant skin.
141
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,540
- That's hard to argue with.
142
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,009
- Then we agree!
Now,
143
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,812
you are trying the shimmering
skin perfector.
144
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,515
Mmm. Look at those undertones.
All right?
145
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,950
Now, that is peaches
and cream!
146
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,420
Okay? Oh!
And is that the hand
147
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,722
of a teenage supermodel?
148
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,424
- Seems kinda young
to be a supermodel.
149
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,826
- Look at that. Mm-mm.
So I'm gonna suggest
150
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,829
a six-month supply
of the perfector, okay?
151
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,832
along with the stain
and the concealer
152
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,067
and the rejuvenating serum.
153
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,769
Sounds good?
154
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,539
Yeah.
Yes.
155
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,140
- Yes. Ooh!
Hold that thought,
156
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,108
because pale Jennifer
is a gold mine.
157
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:17,745
I'll just need your orders
by the end of the week.
158
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:18,979
Jennifer,
hold on a minute!
159
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,881
Jennifer!
- Why is it so terrifying
160
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,850
to say no to her?
Every time Stef
161
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,852
get a new side hustle,
we end up spending money.
162
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,954
And you know I'm trying
to save up for that houseboat.
163
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,155
- We have to stand up
to her.
164
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,458
I've not cut a single
penny in half
165
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,992
with those scissors
she sold me.
166
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,894
That's just not a need
I have.
167
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,165
- Okay. Everyone
shut up immediately!
168
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:41,569
Today we're starting
a new revenge mission.
169
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,070
Our target...
170
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,773
boom.
171
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,575
- Oy vey.
- Out!
172
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,109
Go to the principal's
office right now.
173
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,011
You, too, you sycophantic
minions.
174
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,846
- But we...we didn't
do anything.
175
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,817
I think ya did.
Ha ha ha.
176
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,151
Think you did, yeah.
177
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,888
Yeah, hey, Durbin.
I gotta send three kids
178
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,022
to your office right now.
179
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,224
Why? They were kissing
each other.
180
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,126
Yeah! All three of 'em were
just sitting here
181
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,128
doing kissing right here
in the middle of the classroom.
182
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,963
It was crazy.
I couldn't believe it.
183
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,466
Anyway, it was gross.
Here they come.
184
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,802
Out!
185
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,638
Yep.
186
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,907
Have fun explaining that.
187
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,875
- He must have
struck out last night.
188
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:22,976
He's hangry as hell.
189
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,878
- Now, as you
may have heard,
190
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,914
Marcus refuses
to bring back my chips.
191
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,617
So our mission is to replace
Marcus Kasperak
192
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,084
as student council president.
193
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,186
- Can't you just buy chips
at the store?
194
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,955
- Well, it's not about
chips anymore, Sarika.
195
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,591
This is about principle, okay?
196
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,159
And it is a little bit
about the chips.
197
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,529
I do love chips, you know?
It's about 60...40,
198
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:43,163
principle to chips
at this point for me.
199
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,533
- I get it.
- Yeah. Heather gets it.
200
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,267
Thank you, Heather. So I read
the student council bylaws.
201
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,670
We only need 200 signatures
to recall Marcus
202
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,605
and replace him
with a new candidate.
203
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,641
So today we're gonna be
choosing that new candidate.
204
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,075
- This seems like
an overreaction.
205
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:56,844
- All right, well,
Sarika's eliminated.
206
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,946
So I wanna hear you guys
pitch yourselves,
207
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,549
campaign-style.
Anthony, you start.
208
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:02,950
- If I was president,
209
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,085
I'd make all the dances at Prom
slow dances.
210
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,154
If I'm paying 20 bucks,
I wanna feel a body.
211
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,922
- There ya go.
Good point.
212
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,090
Okay, who's next?
Colin.
213
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,992
- I don't know
if I'm the right choice.
214
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,561
There's a pretty damning
video out there
215
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,096
of me blowing out another
kid's birthday candles.
216
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,098
I got excited.
- 'Kay.
217
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,000
Anybody else have any
skeletons in their closet?
218
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,936
- I shoplift magazines
to feel alive.
219
00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,872
Getting caught's the fun part.
220
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,206
Look, Why don't we
221
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,975
skip past this and just
move on to the person
222
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,142
with the most charisma.
223
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,978
Dan Decker, you in?
Yeah.
224
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,946
I mean, I actually did
student council
225
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,247
back I Florida,
so I'd love to--
226
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,216
- Blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah--yeah, okay.
227
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,051
Don't ruin it.
All right. Uh, guys...
228
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,620
Dan Decker's our candidate.
229
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,221
Let's go out and let's
get those signatures, okay?
230
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,624
Pass those down.
I want you to be subtle.
231
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,225
But I want you to be efficient.
232
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:49,262
With each passing minute,
my chips get staler and staler.
233
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:53,000
- And, o-of course,
sexuality can be...
234
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,636
expressed in so many
different forms
235
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,170
and permutations.
236
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,239
I mean, David Bowie--
237
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:02,242
- Absolutely! Yes.
238
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,078
Okay. I'm gonna let you guys
off with a warning.
239
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:08,115
So, uh, thank you.
240
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:12,185
Okay. Yes, it's true.
241
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,756
Some of the bats have
gotten into some of the vents.
242
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,658
Eew. No.
243
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,293
We need to talk
about Stef.
244
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,266
*
245
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,970
- Look, there is a rule
246
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,939
against soliciting
on school grounds.
247
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,143
Are you guys hearing
this nonsense?
248
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,645
- I am,
and I'm shocked by it.
249
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,212
- Screw you, Durbin.
250
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,684
Well, it is a rule,
251
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,285
and I'm gonna have to
252
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,954
ask you to stop.
253
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:49,389
- Mm-hmm. Durbs, um,
you would agree that,
254
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,793
as a teacher,
I don't make a lot of money.
255
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,962
- No. Not nearly
what you deserve.
256
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,797
- Mm-hmm. And you would
agree that
257
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,199
I should be able
to retire one day?
258
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,635
Or would you prefer
that I die working?
259
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,705
- No. I want you to die
somewhere fun.
260
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,007
- Then we're agreed.
You know what?
261
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,076
I'm so glad
262
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,011
you're on my side
with this one.
263
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,113
You're one of
the good ones, dirty, okay?
264
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,982
Oh, and ladies,
don't forget those orders.
265
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,349
Yeah.
266
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,085
*
267
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:23,256
- Thought this was supposed to
be a rooftop garden.
268
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,092
- Apparently,
the weight of the soil
269
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,094
would have made
the gym roof collapse.
270
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,096
We almost killed
a lot of people--
271
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,998
- Victor. Mulch.
272
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,333
- I gotta mulch.
273
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,634
- Hey, Jack.
274
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,370
You know, I saw the most
curious thing yesterday--
275
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:40,273
Dan Decker chatting up
the Spanish Club.
276
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,210
At first, I was...
very confused.
277
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:45,746
And then I realized
what he was doing.
278
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,048
Courting the Latino vote.
279
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,083
- I think that club's
mostly white kids.
280
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,651
- Victor, shut up!
281
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,355
Anyway, I passed
an emergency resolution.
282
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:59,126
To replace the president, it
now requires 10,000 signatures.
283
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,428
Sorry, Jack.
284
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,363
- Mark my words,
you soulless taint.
285
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,398
I will take you down.
You'll be out of office
286
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,435
before you see a single
precious tomato grow.
287
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,371
Or sooner. Depending on
how long it takes
288
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,273
tomatoes to grow.
289
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,243
- Well, depends on the size
and the soil.
290
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,778
By the way, we had to
find a place
291
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,246
for some gardening supplies.
292
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,449
Might make parking
a little bit of a mess.
293
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,152
See ya, Jack.
294
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:34,261
*
295
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:50,143
.
296
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,746
- [speaking foreign
language]
297
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,918
- It's over, Dan.
Marcus sniffed you out.
298
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,920
Pulled some midnight
procedural bullcrap.
299
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,122
And I was left bribing some
homeless guy to move his fort
300
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:03,924
so I could park
in the street.
301
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,158
- Yeah, his house, his tent.
302
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,828
What
Look, time to move to plan B.
303
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,930
Where can I buy some cocaine
to plant in Marcus's locker?
304
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,164
Don't lie.
- Okay, this whole thing
305
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:12,833
seems like an insane
overreaction
306
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,067
to missing out on some
salt and vinegar chips.
307
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,869
- This has moved
far beyond chips, okay?
308
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,504
This is personal!
- So you don't care
309
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,807
about the chips.
310
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,809
I care about the chips
a little.
311
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,143
It's about 90-10,
Marcus-chips.
312
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,544
- Oh, there you are. Hey.
313
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,113
Did you park out front?
- Yeah.
314
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,848
- It's street cleaning.
They just towed your car.
315
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,349
They towed my ca--
316
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,819
Ohh...okay. Student council's
outta control.
317
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,220
You gotta do something!
- No, no, no.
318
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,056
I told you, I don't want
no part of this, all right?
319
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,959
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Is that Scottie Deeks?
320
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,962
That's the kid Marcus beat
for Student Council President?
321
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:44,832
Yeah.
That kid rocks.
322
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,801
- This school makes no sense.
323
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,371
Hello?
Is this
324
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,173
Jack Griffin?
325
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,043
- Marcus's election.
It was rigged.
326
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,548
And why are you singing?
- It's an Auto-Tune app.
327
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,083
Marcus has to be stopped.
328
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,185
Just follow the car.
329
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,287
Wh
330
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,958
Who is this?
- Get your dang gym clothes on!
331
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,026
You're not skippin' soccer
again!
332
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:15,128
- But my stomach
is cramping.
333
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:18,866
- You are not on your period.
That only works for girls!
334
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,868
- Follow the car!
335
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,875
*
336
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:31,979
Follow the car.
337
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,048
Follow the car.
338
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,918
Follow the--
339
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,053
Hey, Michelle.
340
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,891
- I like the quiet.
341
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:46,193
[suspenseful music
continues]
342
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,128
- All right.
343
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:55,102
*
344
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,879
*
345
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,050
*
346
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,451
- Hey, Grace.
347
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,154
- Ha ha.
Hey, quick question.
348
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,224
Uh...you wanna tell me
how you got this car?
349
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,294
- Uh...
350
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:23,430
- The garden has been planted.
351
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,066
And what grows?
352
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:29,102
My legacy.
353
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,038
- All right, everybody.
354
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,340
Quiet down,
and all eyes on me.
355
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,275
- You know what, Mr. Griffin,
I have to say,
356
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:38,178
these interruptions are getting
a little bit ridiculous.
357
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,380
- Yeah. You know what I think
is ridiculous?
358
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,349
The fact that anybody thought
359
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,117
you could beat dreamboat
Scottie Deeks
360
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,086
in a popularity contest.
361
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,388
You see, Marcus knew
362
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,090
he was gonna lose the election,
363
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,325
so he had his parents
bribe the vote counter--
364
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,194
my girl Grace here--
365
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,297
with a brand-new car
from the family dealership.
366
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,665
Isn't that right?
367
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,100
And what did Grace do?
Well...
368
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,971
Grace, being a good
little solider...
369
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,239
she fixed the election votes.
370
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:10,110
Here is Grace's tally
of the actual votes.
371
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,711
Marcus didn't just lose.
372
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,314
Man... he got
absolutely crushed!
373
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,683
We got a whopping 426 votes
374
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,351
for Scottie Deeks.
375
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,988
Wow. We got a concerning
32 votes
376
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,255
for murderer Robert Durst.
377
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,091
I don't know what
that was all about.
378
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,994
And a very sad and pathetic
19 votes for Marcus.
379
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,428
Whoopsie-daisies!
380
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,169
Grace, is that true?
381
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,438
- Ah...
382
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:42,409
- Um, effective immediately,
383
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,445
I am retiring from...
384
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,748
public service, so...
385
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,118
I'll see some of you
in chemistry.
386
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:57,124
- Oh, no! Oh, I--
Oh, no, I thought he knew!
387
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,026
I thought the whole--
388
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:01,361
I thought he knew!
389
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,130
You know,
390
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:07,534
I-I have been told
that sometimes I...
391
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,037
overreact.
392
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:15,575
.
393
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,048
- Beautiful house.
- Oh, thank you.
394
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,416
- I appreciate you
letting me come over
395
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,152
and speak to...
I, uh...
396
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,554
guess I owned your son
pretty hard today.
397
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:30,490
- Please. I'm so ashamed
of what we've done.
398
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,559
- Yeah. It was...
pretty psychotic.
399
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,494
To get our little
400
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,763
superstar elected
high school president? Ha.
401
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,565
Probably.
- Hmm.
402
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,667
Kinda seems like
you're not that ashamed.
403
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,569
I'm gonna go talk to him.
- Please.
404
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,371
Could you do me
one huge favor?
405
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:47,574
Tell him he won
the election.
406
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,578
- I'm not doing that.
407
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,681
Oh, my God.
408
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,116
Oh, God.
409
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:02,422
*
410
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,457
- * Where could I start
411
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,093
- Whoa! Hey, uh...
412
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,528
mind tossing this shirt on?
413
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,797
Getting a pretty wicked glare
off your back there, bud.
414
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,532
Uh...
415
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,368
Listen, we--we mighta
let this situation
416
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:16,769
get a little outta hand,
you know.
417
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,639
Blame shared equally,
of course.
418
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,709
Maybe...70-30, you.
I mean...
419
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,112
let's be honest.
420
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:28,681
You, uh...
wanna talk about it?
421
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,617
- When I won the election,
I just thought
422
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,619
people were finally
starting to like me.
423
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,722
I don't want you to tell me
that people actually do like me
424
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,757
or that none of this matters
'cause it's just high school
425
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,759
or anything like that.
- Oh, no, no, no, it matters.
426
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,628
It matters.
It's a serious problem for you.
427
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,196
You get in people's
business,
428
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,764
tell 'em what
they're doing wrong.
429
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,733
It's just no good. Nobody
wants to hear that stuff.
430
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:49,836
Come on, you gotta think
more about how you come off.
431
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,838
But, look, it's not
entirely your fault.
432
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,107
I mean, you've clearly been
sheltered
433
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,842
by adoring parents,
you know?
434
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,777
Normally, this sort of
obnoxiousness
435
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,481
would have been wedgied
or swirlied out of you.
436
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,750
Who's been bullying you?
437
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:04,884
- Nobody.
438
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,520
- Huh. Well, you know,
439
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:10,723
if it helps,
I could...I could bully you.
440
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,559
You know,
nothing physical.
441
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,861
Just...burns, barbs,
you know.
442
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,529
Light verbal stuff.
443
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:17,897
- Isn't that
what you already do?
444
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,899
- Largely, yes, but in
this particular case,
445
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,669
the intention would be
slightly more noble.
446
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,437
- Yeah.
447
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,706
That'd be nice.
448
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,177
- All right.
449
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,744
I don't do that.
450
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,480
- Okay.
451
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,551
- Ow. It's hurting!
- Really scratch it.
452
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:40,687
- I know, hurry, hurry.
Here she comes!
453
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,455
- So...
454
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:43,556
you beauties ready to
455
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:44,824
finalize your orders?
- Yep.
456
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:46,793
I got my list right here.
457
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,262
- Whoa! Isn't this rash
right where you tried
458
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,830
Stef's make
- Ooh...
459
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,599
- Oh, my God!
I have one too!
460
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,834
- Oh, no, I guess we can't buy
461
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,903
any of your makeup anymore
ever! I'm so sad!
462
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,572
- Hey, hey, no, no, no.
Don't be sad.
463
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,941
Not when you can buy
this amazing concealer
464
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,776
that will cover that right up.
465
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,713
- Damn it, Stef! These are
obviously fake rashes.
466
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,216
We were trying to get out of
buying your make up.
467
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,617
- Oh, no.
468
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,485
I think mine's turning real.
469
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:13,853
- Listen, girl,
we wanna support you,
470
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:15,722
but we all make the same
amount of money.
471
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,557
I've been wearing the same
monthly contacts
472
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:18,891
for the past two years.
473
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,594
I guess we were just worried
that if we said no,
474
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,263
you were gonna get
really mad at us.
475
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:25,698
- Well, I'm not mad.
I'm just sad
476
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,235
that you feel like
you couldn't be honest.
477
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,869
Look...I don't know,
478
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,671
I thought this would
be a good way
479
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:32,905
to make some extra dough.
480
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,208
And I really did think
it looked good.
481
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:37,244
- No, no, no,
it did look good.
482
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,778
- I don't know,
I guess I just...
483
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,847
feel like a smoother
complexion
484
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,849
can sometimes have
both personal
485
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,518
and professional benefits.
486
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:46,886
- Yep! I'm back in.
487
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:50,357
- No! Stef, damn!
You're relentless!
488
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,891
- Okay. I'm sorry.
489
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,361
I guess I just gotta
find out what to do with
490
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,796
$300 worth of beauty products.
491
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,631
- Hmm...
492
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:02,635
- Long story short,
the bats have been trapped
493
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,637
with only one confirmed bite.
494
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:07,974
So get well soon,
Mrs. Denunzio.
495
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,776
- Talk about handsome!
496
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:13,746
- The contouring's incredible.
497
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:15,682
- He honestly
looks insane.
498
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,250
- Books back up
on the shelves.
499
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:18,685
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
500
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,387
- Lastly, I'd like to
congratulate
501
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,789
the awesome Scottie Deeks
502
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,858
as our new
Student Council President.
503
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:30,263
And--Oh, disgraced former
president Marcus Kasperak
504
00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:33,900
has accepted the position
of parliamentarian,
505
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,936
so...beware,
recalcitrant legislators.
506
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:40,307
- Seems like
an unnecessary position.
507
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,808
But congrats.
508
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,810
- I'm actually excited,
you know.
509
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,279
It's perfect for
a policy wonk like me.
510
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,581
By the way, I, um...
511
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,650
Brought you these.
512
00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,753
- Wow. Now, see,
this is likeable behavior.
513
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:58,691
- Don't you think your
compulsive snacking
514
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,260
belies some kinda
unaddressed anxiety that--
515
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,364
Right.
Back of the room.
516
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:05,598
- Yeah.
- Got it.
517
00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:07,634
Much appreciated.
518
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:15,742
- * Oh, oh, oh
37104
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