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1
00:02:09,636 --> 00:02:11,671
Hey, you know uncle Alex,
I really miss that great white.
2
00:02:11,705 --> 00:02:14,741
Things just haven't been the
same since he's been gone.
3
00:02:14,774 --> 00:02:17,211
Yeah, that fish was
a minnow compared to
4
00:02:17,244 --> 00:02:19,279
the barracuda I married.
5
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:21,481
Hamilton, where have
you been all morning ?
6
00:02:21,515 --> 00:02:23,783
Out working the streets.
It's a jungle out there.
7
00:02:23,817 --> 00:02:24,718
Found a missing
earring.
8
00:02:24,751 --> 00:02:26,386
A-ha.
9
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:28,188
Hamilton,
hit the streets.
10
00:02:28,222 --> 00:02:29,789
Yes, sir.
11
00:02:29,823 --> 00:02:31,558
Time for roll call.
12
00:02:31,591 --> 00:02:33,193
Let's roll.
13
00:02:34,528 --> 00:02:35,595
Lacey ?
14
00:02:35,629 --> 00:02:37,397
Pumpernickel, sir.
15
00:02:37,431 --> 00:02:39,666
Casey ?
Onion, sir.
16
00:02:39,699 --> 00:02:42,669
Howe ?
Sesame seed, sir.
17
00:02:42,702 --> 00:02:44,471
David ?
18
00:02:44,504 --> 00:02:46,973
I actually, uh,
I wanted the sesame seed.
19
00:02:47,006 --> 00:02:48,342
You had it
last roll call.
20
00:02:48,375 --> 00:02:50,610
Yes, but I wanted
it now, too.
21
00:02:50,644 --> 00:02:51,578
I like sesame seed.
22
00:02:51,611 --> 00:02:53,413
I wanted the
damn sesame seed.
23
00:02:53,447 --> 00:02:55,615
You dirty--
give me the
fucking sesame--
24
00:02:55,649 --> 00:02:57,284
stop!
25
00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:05,425
That's why I'm
the captain.
26
00:03:07,561 --> 00:03:09,529
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
27
00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:12,299
Hey, hey,
knock it off.
28
00:03:12,332 --> 00:03:14,334
Where the hell's
Clifford ?
29
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,870
He's down cleaning the sewage
pumps last time I saw him.
30
00:03:16,903 --> 00:03:19,205
That's where
he belongs.
31
00:03:20,974 --> 00:03:23,943
All right...
32
00:03:23,977 --> 00:03:25,412
We've got a busy
day ahead of us.
33
00:03:25,445 --> 00:03:28,682
Let's see what we've
got this week.
34
00:03:28,715 --> 00:03:32,419
All right, so far we've
had, robberies, zero.
35
00:03:32,452 --> 00:03:35,822
Accidental deaths, zero.
Murders, zero.
36
00:03:35,855 --> 00:03:38,825
But! We have had an increase
in the number of women
37
00:03:38,858 --> 00:03:40,794
jumping out of their showers
and running through the yard...
38
00:03:40,827 --> 00:03:42,962
Naked.
39
00:03:42,996 --> 00:03:47,033
That, that would be
peeping Tom.
40
00:03:53,707 --> 00:03:55,742
We have a sketch.
41
00:03:59,045 --> 00:04:02,749
It's a little rough right now,
but we're still working on it.
42
00:04:02,782 --> 00:04:04,884
You should get
a fair idea.
43
00:04:06,553 --> 00:04:08,355
Not bad.
44
00:04:10,457 --> 00:04:11,958
Really nice.
45
00:04:11,991 --> 00:04:14,294
Well I know it's a--
it's a little rough,
46
00:04:14,328 --> 00:04:16,830
but it's the best I could
do right... up front.
47
00:04:16,863 --> 00:04:22,569
So basically, I want you to
keep doing what you're doing.
48
00:04:22,602 --> 00:04:25,905
Keep your eyes out for
that peeping Tom...
49
00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:31,010
And don't get caught
sleeping in the squad car.
50
00:04:31,044 --> 00:04:34,881
I uh... that's because I
was using my other senses.
51
00:04:34,914 --> 00:04:35,949
Like a ninja.
52
00:04:39,118 --> 00:04:42,722
So, when you go
out there today,
53
00:04:42,756 --> 00:04:43,490
I want you to fight.
54
00:04:43,523 --> 00:04:45,625
Fight, fight, fight,
fight, fight.
55
00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:47,961
If you run into a criminal
and you get into a fight...
56
00:04:47,994 --> 00:04:49,996
Here's what I want
you to do,
57
00:04:50,029 --> 00:04:51,498
if he hits you and
knocks you down,
58
00:04:51,531 --> 00:04:53,367
I want you to get up
and fight him again.
59
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,834
If he knocks you down again,
60
00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:56,570
I want you to get up
and fight him harder.
61
00:04:56,603 --> 00:04:57,604
If he knocks you down again,
62
00:04:57,637 --> 00:04:59,573
I want you to get up and
get the hell out of there
63
00:04:59,606 --> 00:05:02,509
'cause you're losing.
Now get out there and move!
64
00:05:04,077 --> 00:05:06,045
Get me a donut.
65
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:10,850
Captain, he gets
the last donut.
66
00:05:10,884 --> 00:05:12,419
Hi.
Up yours.
67
00:05:12,452 --> 00:05:13,920
Hey.
Hey.
68
00:05:13,953 --> 00:05:15,922
Hey, what happened
to you ?
69
00:05:15,955 --> 00:05:17,090
I'm sorry.
70
00:05:17,123 --> 00:05:18,758
You missed roll call.
71
00:05:18,792 --> 00:05:20,827
Ah, kaiser.
72
00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:22,429
Where were you ?
73
00:05:22,462 --> 00:05:23,597
I was on a
cigarette break.
74
00:05:23,630 --> 00:05:24,664
But you don't smoke.
75
00:05:24,698 --> 00:05:27,100
Well, that's not what
the lady said.
76
00:05:41,481 --> 00:05:42,916
Good morning,
lieutenant.
77
00:05:42,949 --> 00:05:44,651
Good morning,
officers.
78
00:07:13,773 --> 00:07:16,142
Amity police,
is this an emergency ?
79
00:07:16,175 --> 00:07:18,111
Uh, yes. I would have the
greatest respect for you
80
00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:19,913
if you could hook me up with...
81
00:07:19,946 --> 00:07:22,248
Do you have many different
kinds of girls there ?
82
00:07:22,281 --> 00:07:23,850
Yes, sir.
83
00:07:23,883 --> 00:07:25,919
Do you have a preference
for your afternoon pleasure ?
84
00:07:25,952 --> 00:07:28,855
Yes, something in a redhead
with broad shoulders.
85
00:07:28,888 --> 00:07:31,725
Someone will be right over
to pick you up.
86
00:07:31,758 --> 00:07:33,793
David, we got one!
87
00:07:33,827 --> 00:07:34,861
Yeah, who's it for ?
88
00:07:34,894 --> 00:07:36,596
Bambi!
89
00:07:38,164 --> 00:07:40,734
Oh, good.
Wake her up.
90
00:07:40,767 --> 00:07:45,138
Oh, wait, it's Dr. Kaplan,
she doesn't need to be awake.
91
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:58,885
Bambi. Carrie.
92
00:07:58,918 --> 00:08:00,787
Carrie, you awake ?
93
00:08:00,820 --> 00:08:02,121
Now I am.
94
00:08:02,155 --> 00:08:03,923
Well, get up. You still
have to make up your
95
00:08:03,957 --> 00:08:05,592
ten hours of
community service.
96
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:08,928
Can't I take it
out in trade ?
97
00:08:08,962 --> 00:08:09,796
Carrie!
98
00:08:09,829 --> 00:08:11,931
All right.
All right.
99
00:08:11,965 --> 00:08:14,568
The women's auxiliary
is coming in for a lesson.
100
00:08:14,601 --> 00:08:16,102
Wake me at one.
101
00:08:16,135 --> 00:08:17,904
Bambi!
102
00:08:17,937 --> 00:08:19,138
Hmm ?
103
00:08:19,172 --> 00:08:21,240
You look different.
What is it ?
104
00:08:21,274 --> 00:08:23,877
Oh, maybe 'cause I
straightened my hair a little.
105
00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:26,880
I don't think so.
106
00:08:26,913 --> 00:08:29,683
Weight loss ?
I dropped fifty-two pounds.
107
00:08:29,716 --> 00:08:31,618
You do look great,
but I don't think that's it.
108
00:08:31,651 --> 00:08:33,587
Nose job ?
109
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:35,922
May be.
110
00:08:35,955 --> 00:08:37,924
Boob job ?
111
00:08:37,957 --> 00:08:40,126
Getting closer.
112
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:42,195
The sex-change
operation.
113
00:08:42,228 --> 00:08:43,663
That's it.
114
00:09:09,322 --> 00:09:11,257
Hold it right
there, miss.
115
00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:12,692
Yes ?
116
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,327
Do you realize that
you were jaywalking ?
117
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,629
Well, i--
118
00:09:15,662 --> 00:09:17,831
we have laws
around here, miss.
119
00:09:17,864 --> 00:09:19,833
But, but--
didn't you see ?
120
00:09:19,866 --> 00:09:21,601
But, but, nothing.
Great butt or no butt...
121
00:09:21,635 --> 00:09:23,803
You're still getting a ticket.
Butts don't stop me.
122
00:09:23,837 --> 00:09:26,873
But, in case you're wondering,
you have a great butt.
123
00:09:26,906 --> 00:09:28,675
Pay attention,
you nutty fool!
124
00:09:28,708 --> 00:09:31,878
Nice hat.
What's the problem ?
125
00:09:31,911 --> 00:09:32,679
A guy from
over there--
126
00:09:32,712 --> 00:09:34,047
never mind.
127
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,215
Where are you going ?
Why don't you chasing him ?
128
00:09:36,249 --> 00:09:38,818
That's a long run.
129
00:09:38,852 --> 00:09:40,253
I bet it is.
130
00:09:40,286 --> 00:09:41,688
Officer Hamilton.
131
00:09:41,721 --> 00:09:43,022
Officer howe.
132
00:09:43,056 --> 00:09:44,624
Yeah, did you
see everything ?
133
00:09:44,658 --> 00:09:46,092
Everything.
134
00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:47,627
Good, good.
Where are the perps ?
135
00:09:47,661 --> 00:09:49,896
Right over there.
136
00:09:52,732 --> 00:09:56,369
I mean the uh--
137
00:09:56,402 --> 00:09:59,372
I mean the guys who
robbed the liquor store.
138
00:09:59,405 --> 00:10:01,374
Someone robbed
the liquor store ?
139
00:10:01,407 --> 00:10:03,877
Oh, god. Nobody
tells me anything.
140
00:10:03,910 --> 00:10:06,680
I tried
to tell him.
141
00:10:06,713 --> 00:10:10,684
You're under arrest. Wait until
I get you to the police station.
142
00:10:10,717 --> 00:10:12,886
You're a troublemaker.
You're a troublemaker.
143
00:10:12,919 --> 00:10:15,221
Walk, walk, walk.
Move that ass. Move that ass.
144
00:10:15,254 --> 00:10:19,158
Come on, get in. Get in.
Let me pat you down...
145
00:10:30,136 --> 00:10:31,938
What do we got here ?
146
00:10:31,971 --> 00:10:33,439
We had a burglary.
147
00:10:33,472 --> 00:10:34,841
I see, uh...
148
00:10:34,874 --> 00:10:37,844
What did you do...
149
00:10:37,877 --> 00:10:40,179
Steal somebody's heart ?
150
00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:41,781
Oh! Eew!
Ah!
151
00:10:43,382 --> 00:10:45,752
No, this is
the eyewitness.
152
00:10:45,785 --> 00:10:47,420
Einstein, over here--
Hamilton, idiot.
153
00:10:47,453 --> 00:10:50,223
Moron!
Moron, idiot.
Shut up.
154
00:10:50,256 --> 00:10:52,358
I'm sorry.
155
00:10:52,391 --> 00:10:55,028
This big poluka had his back
to the whole crime scene
156
00:10:55,061 --> 00:10:56,696
and missed everything.
157
00:10:56,730 --> 00:10:58,331
She was jaywalking.
158
00:10:58,364 --> 00:11:00,900
So, tell me,
did you see anything ?
159
00:11:00,934 --> 00:11:02,702
I saw two guys running
out of a liquor store,
160
00:11:02,736 --> 00:11:05,772
they had shorts on and black ski
masks and I tried to tell him.
161
00:11:05,805 --> 00:11:08,041
He didn't do anything.
162
00:11:09,876 --> 00:11:13,046
Hmm, too bad she didn't
see anything.
163
00:11:13,079 --> 00:11:15,414
Wait a minute,
what day is it ?
164
00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:16,816
The third.
165
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:19,252
The baker brothers.
166
00:11:19,285 --> 00:11:22,055
That's right.
Excuse me ?
167
00:11:22,088 --> 00:11:24,858
Well, you see,
it's a baker brothers' m.O.,
168
00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:28,161
black ski masks, every Wednesday
they Rob their father's store.
169
00:11:28,194 --> 00:11:30,897
Howe, pick them up.
170
00:11:32,131 --> 00:11:33,767
You want to book her ?
171
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,234
Yes, book her.
172
00:11:35,268 --> 00:11:38,237
I can offer you a two-day roll.
Sag scale and credit billing.
173
00:11:38,271 --> 00:11:40,039
But you'll have to
call my agent.
174
00:11:40,073 --> 00:11:41,841
Damn, I hate
working with agents.
175
00:11:44,944 --> 00:11:46,079
Hey, David.
Anything new ?
176
00:11:46,112 --> 00:11:48,181
Yes, ten children
were born yesterday.
177
00:11:48,214 --> 00:11:49,749
I mean in
the station ?
178
00:11:49,783 --> 00:11:52,085
Oh, no.
Same old garbage.
179
00:11:52,118 --> 00:11:53,920
See what I mean ?
180
00:11:56,455 --> 00:12:00,193
Yeah, that really stinks.
What about that peeping Tom ?
181
00:12:04,430 --> 00:12:06,132
Oh, well, we haven't
caught him yet,
182
00:12:06,165 --> 00:12:08,101
if that's what
you're asking.
183
00:12:08,134 --> 00:12:10,169
But he really does
give me the creeps.
184
00:12:10,203 --> 00:12:13,406
He's not spying on you.
You're built the wrong way.
185
00:12:13,439 --> 00:12:14,974
What do you mean ?
186
00:12:15,008 --> 00:12:16,976
Well, you see, David.
The male anatomy is
187
00:12:17,010 --> 00:12:18,912
quite different from
the female's in many ways.
188
00:12:18,945 --> 00:12:20,980
For example,
the male erection.
189
00:12:21,014 --> 00:12:22,481
I think I got
your point.
190
00:12:22,515 --> 00:12:24,483
No pun intended.
191
00:12:24,517 --> 00:12:26,052
No pun taken.
192
00:12:26,085 --> 00:12:27,787
I wasn't trying
to be funny.
193
00:12:27,821 --> 00:12:29,088
Well, so far you don't have
anything to worry about.
194
00:12:29,122 --> 00:12:30,323
Good.
195
00:12:30,356 --> 00:12:32,458
So, you got any leads.
196
00:12:32,491 --> 00:12:36,863
No, but if it kills me, I'm
going to catch that peeping Tom.
197
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,803
Whoa!
198
00:12:43,837 --> 00:12:46,973
Who do you think can raise their
eyebrow higher ?
199
00:12:47,006 --> 00:12:49,142
Spock.
200
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:52,345
You who.
201
00:12:52,378 --> 00:12:55,181
Ah, Mrs. Davies.
202
00:12:55,214 --> 00:12:57,383
How good
to see you.
203
00:12:59,485 --> 00:13:01,387
Your mustache
tickles.
204
00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:03,389
I don't have
a mustache.
205
00:13:05,591 --> 00:13:08,995
Oh, oh, uh...
206
00:13:09,028 --> 00:13:12,065
I came to check on
the women's auxiliary.
207
00:13:19,238 --> 00:13:19,939
Come on.
208
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,807
Let's go.
209
00:13:26,579 --> 00:13:28,848
So, how are things ?
210
00:13:28,882 --> 00:13:30,884
Fine. Just fine.
211
00:13:30,917 --> 00:13:34,921
David, darling. You haven't told
my husband about your little...
212
00:13:34,954 --> 00:13:36,622
Enterprise, have you ?
213
00:13:36,655 --> 00:13:38,391
Not a thing.
214
00:13:38,424 --> 00:13:40,326
Besides, I think if he
knew what we were doing,
215
00:13:40,359 --> 00:13:42,061
he would have
no problem with it.
216
00:13:42,095 --> 00:13:45,264
Because all we are
doing is taking
crime off the streets...
217
00:13:45,298 --> 00:13:47,200
And putting it in
the police station
where it belongs.
218
00:13:49,168 --> 00:13:51,004
Give me
that purse.
219
00:13:51,037 --> 00:13:52,338
Ah, don't!
Don't!
220
00:13:54,974 --> 00:13:58,211
Well, I just wanted
to warn you because...
221
00:13:58,244 --> 00:14:01,347
He's up for re-election and
you know what that means.
222
00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:05,184
Instantaneous,
ostentatious morality.
223
00:14:05,218 --> 00:14:07,020
Precisely.
224
00:14:07,053 --> 00:14:09,022
Let's go.
225
00:14:10,589 --> 00:14:13,126
Ah, Mrs. Mayor. We were
just getting started.
226
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,329
Ah, Carrie,
carry on.
227
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:23,269
All right, ladies.
228
00:14:23,302 --> 00:14:26,072
The procedures I'm going to be
teaching you this afternoon
229
00:14:26,105 --> 00:14:28,942
will be very, very
important to your marriages.
230
00:14:28,975 --> 00:14:30,276
Oh, yes.
Ah.
231
00:14:30,309 --> 00:14:33,279
Today, we'll be
discussing oral sex.
232
00:14:34,713 --> 00:14:37,416
Now, I've laid out a few items
here for us to practice with.
233
00:14:37,450 --> 00:14:40,219
Try and find whatever it is
that you have at home.
234
00:14:43,589 --> 00:14:47,226
Cucumbers.
I have cucumbers.
235
00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:49,562
Does anybody need a cucumber ?
236
00:14:52,731 --> 00:14:55,301
Oh, I'm sorry.
237
00:14:57,336 --> 00:14:58,537
Carrots.
238
00:15:01,174 --> 00:15:04,543
Anybody need a carrot ?
239
00:15:04,577 --> 00:15:07,413
Hot dogs ?
240
00:15:15,721 --> 00:15:18,424
Do you have any, um...
Vienna sausages ?
241
00:15:20,126 --> 00:15:22,228
Oh... I am sorry.
242
00:15:24,197 --> 00:15:27,233
Officer angoloti, you left your
nude crack shots in the copier.
243
00:15:27,266 --> 00:15:29,235
Please pick them up.
244
00:15:29,268 --> 00:15:33,039
Thelma, is the cell
ready yet ?
245
00:15:33,072 --> 00:15:35,308
Yes, sir.
246
00:15:35,341 --> 00:15:37,543
Nice to see you
again, Dr. Kaplan.
247
00:15:37,576 --> 00:15:39,212
Thelma.
248
00:16:06,672 --> 00:16:09,108
Heh, heh, heh.
249
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:12,378
Come here,
you bad, bad boy.
250
00:16:12,411 --> 00:16:17,183
First, I'm going to have
to strip search you.
251
00:16:17,216 --> 00:16:22,355
Now, you're the prisoner,
I'm the warden,
252
00:16:22,388 --> 00:16:26,225
and I'm going to have to
put you in the hole.
253
00:18:16,669 --> 00:18:19,405
Excuse me,
captain amith in ?
254
00:18:19,438 --> 00:18:21,774
And who should
I say is asking ?
255
00:18:21,807 --> 00:18:23,309
Martin riff.
256
00:18:23,342 --> 00:18:25,578
I'm, I'm
the new guy.
257
00:18:25,611 --> 00:18:29,315
Oh, the rookie.
We've been expecting you.
258
00:18:29,348 --> 00:18:31,384
Let me check.
259
00:18:31,417 --> 00:18:38,257
Captain Smith, the rookie's
here for orientation.
260
00:18:42,228 --> 00:18:43,729
Hi, you must be
the new rookie.
261
00:18:43,762 --> 00:18:44,797
Captain.
262
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:46,732
Good to see you, son.
263
00:18:46,765 --> 00:18:49,868
Well, welcome to the
amity police force.
264
00:18:49,902 --> 00:18:51,804
Come on, let me
tell you something
about our organization.
265
00:18:51,837 --> 00:18:53,672
Organization ?
266
00:18:53,706 --> 00:18:55,674
You know, I was in the
drama club in high school.
267
00:18:55,708 --> 00:18:57,343
Oh, so you're
a four-eyed homo ?
268
00:18:57,376 --> 00:19:00,346
Come on, one more. One more.
Squeeze it up.
269
00:19:00,379 --> 00:19:03,482
Ah, that's a girl.
270
00:19:03,516 --> 00:19:05,618
Good goin', girl.
271
00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:20,733
Tit for tat.
272
00:19:20,766 --> 00:19:22,335
Oh, excuse me.
273
00:19:22,368 --> 00:19:23,769
Officers
Casey and Lacey ?
274
00:19:23,802 --> 00:19:25,871
Rookie Marty riff.
275
00:19:25,904 --> 00:19:28,274
Oh, you mean they're
not the hookers ?
276
00:19:28,307 --> 00:19:31,477
No, you idiot.
Hookers have real tits.
277
00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:34,480
Officers caey
and Lacey. Ladies.
278
00:19:34,513 --> 00:19:36,282
Sir.
Sir.
279
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:38,951
Come on,
buck boy.
Bye!
280
00:19:41,854 --> 00:19:43,956
Oh, my god!
281
00:19:43,989 --> 00:19:47,293
Yeah, they're partners...
In more ways than one.
282
00:19:55,501 --> 00:19:57,403
Here you go.
283
00:19:57,436 --> 00:20:00,539
Hey, captain. We got a pick up,
you want me to take the rookie ?
284
00:20:00,573 --> 00:20:03,542
Yeah, that's a great idea.
285
00:20:03,576 --> 00:20:05,411
Get that four-eyed geek
out of here.
286
00:20:05,444 --> 00:20:06,812
He's bugging the
crap out of me.
287
00:20:06,845 --> 00:20:09,415
I appreciate your
confidence in me, captain.
288
00:20:09,448 --> 00:20:11,550
Yeah, you're doing
a great job, son.
289
00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:13,352
I'm sure your father
would be proud of you.
290
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,687
If he knew
who you were.
291
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,956
Oh, I appreciate that.
292
00:20:17,990 --> 00:20:20,693
It's for Bambi, again.
293
00:20:20,726 --> 00:20:24,029
Teddy on larchmont and
he used the old password.
294
00:20:24,062 --> 00:20:25,898
Okay, I'll give him
the new password.
295
00:20:25,931 --> 00:20:28,534
What's the password ?
Shang-a-lang-a-ding-dong.
296
00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:30,469
It used to be
cock-a-doodle-doo.
297
00:20:30,503 --> 00:20:32,605
Then last summer
a rooster called.
298
00:20:32,638 --> 00:20:34,340
We thought it
was a "John."
299
00:20:34,373 --> 00:20:35,808
Now we know what
chicken ranch means.
300
00:20:35,841 --> 00:20:37,610
Ha, ha.
301
00:20:38,777 --> 00:20:40,279
Captain.
302
00:20:40,313 --> 00:20:43,449
Take your hands off me,
you slime ball!
303
00:20:43,482 --> 00:20:44,750
Caught her on the corner
of first and main
304
00:20:44,783 --> 00:20:45,984
soliciting for
sexual favors.
305
00:20:46,018 --> 00:20:47,420
Was not.
306
00:20:47,453 --> 00:20:48,387
Was to.
307
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:49,422
Was not.
Was to.
308
00:20:49,455 --> 00:20:50,423
Was not!
Was to.
309
00:20:50,456 --> 00:20:52,024
Gotcha.
310
00:20:52,057 --> 00:20:53,759
Take this little floozy
to the interrogation room.
311
00:20:53,792 --> 00:20:55,994
She looks dangerous.
312
00:20:56,028 --> 00:20:59,031
Don't try to act smart, tootsie,
or you'll find out what police
brutality really means.
313
00:20:59,064 --> 00:21:00,899
This way.
Let's go.
314
00:21:03,336 --> 00:21:06,305
Hey, where the hell's
Clifford, anyway ?
315
00:21:06,339 --> 00:21:09,041
The little shit's probably
getting another mri.
316
00:21:13,045 --> 00:21:14,947
Well, she looks like
the real thing.
317
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:17,750
Yeah, choice of
a new generation.
318
00:21:17,783 --> 00:21:19,385
Or maybe she's
the uncola.
319
00:21:19,418 --> 00:21:20,486
Quite possibly.
320
00:21:20,519 --> 00:21:22,888
Well, I'll run
her record.
321
00:21:22,921 --> 00:21:25,758
You go in there
and keep her calm.
322
00:21:25,791 --> 00:21:29,027
But be firm with her.
I want her to know...
323
00:21:29,061 --> 00:21:31,930
We don't take
the law lightly.
324
00:21:31,964 --> 00:21:33,366
Okay... let's go.
325
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,002
Look, I want to
make a phone call.
326
00:21:37,035 --> 00:21:40,906
You'll make a phone call when I
say you can make a phone call.
327
00:21:40,939 --> 00:21:43,976
Well, I ain't saying shit
until I talk to my lawyer.
328
00:21:44,009 --> 00:21:46,579
Well, fine. We could use
some silence around here.
329
00:21:50,616 --> 00:21:53,952
Oh, hey. I like your outfit.
Did you get that around here ?
330
00:21:53,986 --> 00:21:55,354
What's it to you ?
331
00:21:55,388 --> 00:21:57,356
Just trying
to be nice.
332
00:21:59,792 --> 00:22:02,060
They're not really going to
try and hold me here are they ?
333
00:22:02,094 --> 00:22:04,830
It's a small town, honey.
334
00:22:04,863 --> 00:22:07,400
They don't take too kindly
to breaking the law.
335
00:22:07,433 --> 00:22:09,568
Shut up, you two.
This woman here's a criminal.
336
00:22:09,602 --> 00:22:10,969
And I'm going to see to it
that she's punished.
337
00:22:14,740 --> 00:22:18,511
No! No! Not that.
Please! Anything but that.
338
00:22:18,544 --> 00:22:21,046
Wait! Hold it right there,
officer Hamilton.
339
00:22:21,079 --> 00:22:25,050
I ran her record, not bad.
The second song's pretty good.
340
00:22:25,083 --> 00:22:27,052
What about
the third song ?
341
00:22:27,085 --> 00:22:30,523
Not catchy enough.
But we'll let you slide.
342
00:22:30,556 --> 00:22:34,627
So, Carrie, could you use
an extra hand around here ?
343
00:22:36,595 --> 00:22:38,831
It's summer, we can always
use an extra hand.
344
00:22:41,199 --> 00:22:47,706
Sorry I was rude to you
earlier... I just wasn't sure.
345
00:22:47,740 --> 00:22:53,979
...doin' my job. You may have
been with internal affairs.
346
00:22:55,748 --> 00:22:57,049
You thought I was a cop ?
347
00:22:57,082 --> 00:23:00,453
Well... you can never
be too sure.
348
00:23:00,486 --> 00:23:04,022
What was it that gave it away,
maybe the outfit ?
349
00:23:04,056 --> 00:23:06,692
I like your outfit.
350
00:23:06,725 --> 00:23:10,128
Yeah, me too.
351
00:23:10,162 --> 00:23:11,597
You guys are nuts.
352
00:23:14,667 --> 00:23:16,569
If you aren't going to
charge me with anything,
353
00:23:16,602 --> 00:23:19,037
I'm going to get the
hell out of here.
354
00:23:19,071 --> 00:23:21,039
Let's go.
Let's go.
355
00:23:21,073 --> 00:23:24,443
You can go, darli'. But I think
you're making a big mistake.
356
00:23:24,477 --> 00:23:26,779
You can work right here
doing what you do.
357
00:23:28,481 --> 00:23:31,717
But if you don't want to...
Can I borrow your outfit ?
358
00:23:31,750 --> 00:23:35,053
You see, there's already two of
us here. Got room for three ?
359
00:23:35,087 --> 00:23:37,790
Wait a minute,
you guys are hookers ?
360
00:23:39,091 --> 00:23:41,193
No, but we
play them on TV.
361
00:23:41,226 --> 00:23:43,796
Bambi and I got
started the same way.
362
00:23:43,829 --> 00:23:49,067
Got busted, captain
invited us to stay on.
363
00:23:49,101 --> 00:23:51,537
Wait, the captain
gave you a job ?
364
00:23:51,570 --> 00:23:54,540
Sure. He said he didn't
see any harm
365
00:23:54,573 --> 00:23:56,241
in two girls trying
to make a living.
366
00:23:56,274 --> 00:23:57,476
As long as
no one gets hurt.
367
00:23:57,510 --> 00:24:00,579
And you guys never get smacked,
beat up, anything like that ?
368
00:24:00,613 --> 00:24:02,114
In the police department ?
369
00:24:09,021 --> 00:24:12,791
Just think, no more pimps.
No more cold street corners.
370
00:24:12,825 --> 00:24:15,994
No more standing around in
these ridiculous high heels...
371
00:24:16,028 --> 00:24:17,162
That throw your
back out.
372
00:24:17,195 --> 00:24:19,532
Great.
373
00:24:19,565 --> 00:24:21,667
So, what do you think,
you want to get cleaned up ?
374
00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:23,068
Sure.
I'll show you
the locker room.
375
00:24:24,570 --> 00:24:27,172
Think I'll clean
the locker room.
376
00:24:27,205 --> 00:24:29,074
I think not.
377
00:24:29,107 --> 00:24:32,611
I think that you're
not going to rest
378
00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:35,280
until you get out there
and find me that peeping Tom.
379
00:24:39,017 --> 00:24:42,721
God damnit! If we
don't find him soon,
380
00:24:42,755 --> 00:24:46,124
this music is going
to drive me insane.
381
00:24:46,158 --> 00:24:49,127
Okay. And a 5, 6, 7, 8...
382
00:24:49,161 --> 00:24:52,531
Ba - ba - ba - ba - ba - ba
twirl like you feel it and go...
383
00:24:52,565 --> 00:24:56,535
You go girl...
Ba - ba - ba - ba - ba - ba - ba
384
00:24:58,904 --> 00:25:00,138
and a turn
and a ba ba!
385
00:25:01,774 --> 00:25:03,275
It's the mayor!
It's the mayor!
386
00:25:04,910 --> 00:25:06,879
It's the mayor!
387
00:25:06,912 --> 00:25:09,147
Captain Smith!
388
00:25:09,181 --> 00:25:12,851
Ah, take five ladies.
Love you, hate you. Yes ?
389
00:25:12,885 --> 00:25:14,152
Mayor Davies is here.
390
00:25:14,186 --> 00:25:16,188
Oh, my god.
Mayor Davies.
391
00:25:16,221 --> 00:25:18,090
Gentlemen.
392
00:25:18,123 --> 00:25:19,191
Sir.
Mayor Davies.
393
00:25:19,224 --> 00:25:20,859
It has come to
my attention that
394
00:25:20,893 --> 00:25:23,261
this police department
has not been following
395
00:25:23,295 --> 00:25:26,732
the strict moral guidelines
expected of it.
396
00:25:26,765 --> 00:25:28,266
What do you
mean, sir ?
397
00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:30,936
Amity is a fine community of
hard working families
398
00:25:30,969 --> 00:25:34,006
and innocent children living
in Harmony with each other
399
00:25:34,039 --> 00:25:36,074
and the cities around them.
400
00:25:38,376 --> 00:25:40,212
...of dedicated hard
working professionals.
401
00:25:43,381 --> 00:25:44,817
...serving the needs
of the community...
402
00:25:44,850 --> 00:25:47,620
Hold it down!
I'm trying to talk.
403
00:25:49,387 --> 00:25:52,357
What is it exactly
you want, sir ?
404
00:25:52,390 --> 00:25:55,360
Captain Smith, I am
demanding you step down
405
00:25:55,393 --> 00:25:58,797
until a full investigation
of you and your department
406
00:25:58,831 --> 00:26:00,666
has been completed.
407
00:26:02,701 --> 00:26:04,202
Take him away!
408
00:26:05,671 --> 00:26:07,940
I'm innocent.
409
00:26:07,973 --> 00:26:10,809
I'm not leaving you
high and dry.
410
00:26:10,843 --> 00:26:13,779
I've brought you exactly what
this department needs.
411
00:26:13,812 --> 00:26:16,014
Captain Mae.
412
00:26:23,922 --> 00:26:26,091
This is captain Mae.
413
00:26:26,124 --> 00:26:27,960
She'll be in charge
of this department
414
00:26:27,993 --> 00:26:30,028
until things get sorted out.
415
00:26:30,062 --> 00:26:33,966
Lieutenant caroll,
show her the ropes.
416
00:26:33,999 --> 00:26:35,600
Yes, mayor.
417
00:26:39,071 --> 00:26:41,106
Short, medium, long.
418
00:26:41,139 --> 00:26:43,942
Officer David caroll,
head of vice.
419
00:26:43,976 --> 00:26:46,211
I'll bet you are.
420
00:26:46,244 --> 00:26:49,147
I think there was
no need for a change.
421
00:26:49,181 --> 00:26:51,216
Oh, I think there was plenty
of need for a change.
422
00:26:51,249 --> 00:26:52,818
Bring me
up to speed.
423
00:26:52,851 --> 00:26:54,753
All right.
Let's go.
424
00:26:54,787 --> 00:26:56,254
On your marks.
Get set. Go!
425
00:26:57,389 --> 00:27:00,826
Officer howe, line one.
Winchell's donuts, again!
426
00:27:04,296 --> 00:27:06,098
Hi.
427
00:27:11,336 --> 00:27:13,672
Will you
stop it already ?
428
00:27:13,706 --> 00:27:16,174
Hmm, you noticed
him, too.
429
00:27:16,208 --> 00:27:18,310
Yeah, but I'm
not drooling.
430
00:27:18,343 --> 00:27:20,245
I bet he's great
in the sack.
431
00:27:20,278 --> 00:27:23,315
I'll bet he's never
been in the sack.
432
00:27:23,348 --> 00:27:25,050
I think we
should find out.
433
00:27:26,952 --> 00:27:28,420
Sorry.
434
00:27:30,355 --> 00:27:31,890
Nah.
435
00:27:33,458 --> 00:27:35,761
Speak of the devil.
436
00:27:35,794 --> 00:27:38,731
Oh... I'm-- I'm sorry.
437
00:27:38,764 --> 00:27:40,032
Sorry about what ?
438
00:27:40,065 --> 00:27:42,901
Well, I mean,
I don't want to interrupt.
439
00:27:42,935 --> 00:27:45,904
Sit... there... now.
440
00:28:00,218 --> 00:28:01,754
Ahhm, so...
441
00:28:01,787 --> 00:28:04,289
Been a cop long ?
442
00:28:04,322 --> 00:28:06,224
Yeah.
443
00:28:07,459 --> 00:28:10,162
No, no. I mean no.
I just graduated.
444
00:28:10,195 --> 00:28:13,031
You're going to
like it here.
445
00:28:14,933 --> 00:28:17,269
Can I have a bite
of that apple ?
446
00:28:17,302 --> 00:28:18,436
Sure.
447
00:28:42,494 --> 00:28:44,863
Excuse me.
448
00:28:50,135 --> 00:28:52,771
Don't you want
something on that ?
449
00:28:52,805 --> 00:28:55,774
Do you have
any... butter ?
450
00:28:56,508 --> 00:28:58,376
Sure.
451
00:29:04,416 --> 00:29:07,853
Oh, honey. You have to
spread this evenly.
452
00:29:07,886 --> 00:29:09,387
Let me help you.
453
00:29:11,223 --> 00:29:14,793
Oops, I think
you missed a spot.
454
00:29:28,841 --> 00:29:31,209
Amity's a great
little town.
455
00:29:31,243 --> 00:29:32,344
Nice people.
456
00:29:32,377 --> 00:29:34,446
Really nice.
457
00:29:34,479 --> 00:29:37,282
It sure seems like it.
458
00:29:37,315 --> 00:29:38,984
Can I have
one of those ?
459
00:29:40,518 --> 00:29:41,854
Sure.
460
00:29:41,887 --> 00:29:43,488
Would you like half ?
461
00:29:43,521 --> 00:29:45,123
Thanks.
462
00:29:50,395 --> 00:29:52,530
You'll see our
fabulous lunch room.
463
00:29:52,564 --> 00:29:54,266
And this is where all
of our wonderful
police officers
464
00:29:54,299 --> 00:29:56,201
come and have
lunch every day.
465
00:29:56,234 --> 00:29:57,502
If you look right now
you'll be able to see them--
466
00:29:57,535 --> 00:30:00,072
what is going
on here ?
467
00:30:00,105 --> 00:30:02,407
What is going
on here ?
468
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,210
Ah, ah.
Ah, ah.
469
00:30:05,243 --> 00:30:08,280
Officer riff here
was showing us
470
00:30:08,313 --> 00:30:11,016
the correct procedure for
the heimlich maneuver.
471
00:30:13,285 --> 00:30:17,322
Ah, ah, h ate one of these
and I think he got really hot,
472
00:30:17,355 --> 00:30:19,524
right, officer riff ?
473
00:30:19,557 --> 00:30:22,527
Well, never mind
that right now,
474
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,329
ladies and gentlemen,
475
00:30:24,362 --> 00:30:27,399
this is officer
captain Mary Mae,
476
00:30:27,432 --> 00:30:30,202
she will be heading and
investigating the department
477
00:30:30,235 --> 00:30:31,403
from here on out.
478
00:30:31,436 --> 00:30:34,439
Officers Casey.
And Lacey.
479
00:30:34,472 --> 00:30:36,441
At your service.
480
00:30:36,474 --> 00:30:37,910
Carry on.
481
00:30:37,943 --> 00:30:39,277
Carry on.
482
00:30:55,093 --> 00:30:57,395
Oh, maybe you'd
like to see
483
00:30:57,429 --> 00:31:00,999
the certificate of appreciation
we received last year ?
484
00:31:01,033 --> 00:31:04,036
The most uneventful
town in America.
485
00:31:04,069 --> 00:31:05,470
Ah, ha.
486
00:31:05,503 --> 00:31:07,405
Well, that certainly
is interesting.
487
00:31:07,439 --> 00:31:09,141
I'd like to see
the locker rooms.
488
00:31:09,174 --> 00:31:12,177
Ah, okay.
Look at that one.
489
00:31:12,210 --> 00:31:13,878
See that picture
right there ?
490
00:31:15,113 --> 00:31:17,215
Do you want to
do my breasts ?
491
00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:30,428
Oh, yes.
Oh, please.
492
00:31:32,230 --> 00:31:34,166
Oh, deeper.
493
00:31:36,434 --> 00:31:39,137
No, no. I don't floss
on the first date.
494
00:31:40,372 --> 00:31:43,408
That's uh, that's our
local high school.
495
00:31:43,441 --> 00:31:45,944
Look at all those
adorable faces.
496
00:31:48,981 --> 00:31:50,682
Gee-gee, ga-ga,
goo-goo.
497
00:31:54,252 --> 00:31:56,654
Locker room,
let's go.
498
00:31:57,289 --> 00:31:58,590
Rinse fast,
we've got trouble.
499
00:31:58,623 --> 00:32:00,525
What's up?
500
00:32:00,558 --> 00:32:02,627
No time.
501
00:32:02,660 --> 00:32:04,262
Use the route, round up the
girls and get 'em out of here.
502
00:32:04,296 --> 00:32:05,297
Hurry!
503
00:32:05,330 --> 00:32:07,599
Oh, my god!
Bambi's still on duty.
504
00:32:07,632 --> 00:32:09,234
Come on!
505
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,209
Where are you going ?
Secret passage, good idea.
506
00:32:21,679 --> 00:32:23,148
Don't do this. Wait for me.
Don't do this!
507
00:32:31,256 --> 00:32:33,358
Officer howe,
at your service.
508
00:32:33,391 --> 00:32:36,561
You have the men and women
in the same locker room ?
509
00:32:36,594 --> 00:32:39,764
Well, you see, it's not really
like that because-- because--
510
00:32:39,797 --> 00:32:44,102
well, uh, you see.
It's just that...
511
00:32:44,136 --> 00:32:46,771
It's not really in the
budget right now...
512
00:32:46,804 --> 00:32:49,241
In this department to have
two separate locker rooms.
513
00:32:49,274 --> 00:32:51,376
Well that sounds
like a line.
514
00:32:51,409 --> 00:32:54,446
You see, uh, we take
turns in the shower...
515
00:32:54,479 --> 00:32:58,683
First the women, then the men,
then the transsexuals...
516
00:32:58,716 --> 00:33:04,156
Then the transvestites, it's all
so we don't confuse the issues.
517
00:33:04,189 --> 00:33:05,723
No, that's all
very confusing.
518
00:33:06,791 --> 00:33:08,693
Now I'd like to see
the holding cells.
519
00:33:08,726 --> 00:33:10,295
Right this way.
Let's go.
520
00:33:18,270 --> 00:33:22,240
Ouch!
Officer caroll...
521
00:33:22,274 --> 00:33:24,376
You just got
to let me go.
522
00:33:24,409 --> 00:33:26,511
I promise I'll never
do it again...
523
00:33:26,544 --> 00:33:29,381
And from now on
I'll be a good girl.
524
00:33:29,414 --> 00:33:31,049
You're already
pretty good.
525
00:33:31,083 --> 00:33:33,251
Thanks, thanks.
526
00:33:34,286 --> 00:33:36,388
I'm afraid to ask.
527
00:33:36,421 --> 00:33:39,357
You should be.
I mean, you shouldn't be.
528
00:33:39,391 --> 00:33:40,825
Because it really
doesn't matter.
529
00:33:40,858 --> 00:33:41,559
I can explain.
530
00:33:41,593 --> 00:33:43,628
I'm waiting.
531
00:33:43,661 --> 00:33:46,831
Well, I, uh...
532
00:33:46,864 --> 00:33:48,766
Would you believe--
533
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,636
thank you, thank you and
welcome to "would you believe?"
534
00:33:51,669 --> 00:33:55,773
The show that tests just how far
your imagination will stretch.
535
00:33:55,807 --> 00:33:58,110
My pumpkin pie.
536
00:33:59,477 --> 00:34:01,513
My little prune Danish.
537
00:34:01,546 --> 00:34:02,514
My lover.
538
00:34:03,881 --> 00:34:06,351
No one's supposed
to know. Shh!
539
00:34:06,384 --> 00:34:07,519
Shh!
540
00:34:09,421 --> 00:34:12,590
And right now for five hundred
dollars, officer David caroll...
541
00:34:12,624 --> 00:34:15,793
Why does this jail cell
look like a bordello ?
542
00:34:15,827 --> 00:34:17,729
Would you believe... ?
543
00:34:17,762 --> 00:34:20,398
Ah, because she's here
so often that
544
00:34:20,432 --> 00:34:23,101
they had to bring all of
her own stuff from home.
545
00:34:23,135 --> 00:34:26,171
Good answer,
but not good enough.
546
00:34:26,204 --> 00:34:29,174
Ms. Bambi,
would you believe ?
547
00:34:29,207 --> 00:34:33,311
Um, we have the whole thing
redone by Madonna's decorator.
548
00:34:33,345 --> 00:34:35,647
That's unbelievable.
549
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:39,251
Captain Mary Mae,
for five hundred dollars,
would you believe...?
550
00:34:39,284 --> 00:34:42,320
It was created by
criminal psychologists
551
00:34:42,354 --> 00:34:44,856
who wanted to regress criminals
to the moment of conception.
552
00:34:44,889 --> 00:34:47,125
That's right.
We have a winner.
553
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,195
Captain Mary Mae of the
amity police department.
554
00:34:50,228 --> 00:34:52,264
Step up here to collect your
five hundred dollars.
555
00:34:52,297 --> 00:34:53,731
Thank you.
556
00:34:53,765 --> 00:34:55,800
Congratulations.
Thank you.
557
00:34:55,833 --> 00:34:57,269
Five hundred dollars ?
558
00:34:57,302 --> 00:34:59,671
That's more than
I've made all week.
559
00:35:01,439 --> 00:35:04,509
Tune in next week and
be prepared to stretch...
560
00:35:04,542 --> 00:35:10,582
Stretch... stretch further than
you've ever stretched before.
561
00:35:20,292 --> 00:35:24,529
So... you think
you're being cute ?
562
00:35:24,562 --> 00:35:28,333
Ya think this is
some kind of game ?
563
00:35:28,366 --> 00:35:32,604
Badgering, ha ?
Don't listen much, mister ?
564
00:35:32,637 --> 00:35:35,473
You got a hearing problem ?
565
00:35:35,507 --> 00:35:37,141
He doesn't speak much.
566
00:35:38,843 --> 00:35:40,878
Neither do you.
567
00:35:45,550 --> 00:35:49,654
Mr. Baker, you're supposed
to be the older brother...
568
00:35:49,687 --> 00:35:52,324
You're supposed
to set an example.
569
00:35:52,357 --> 00:35:54,792
I don't think
he's listening.
570
00:35:54,826 --> 00:35:57,562
Can you hear me, mister !?
571
00:35:57,595 --> 00:36:00,164
He's got hearing
problems, too.
572
00:36:00,365 --> 00:36:03,535
Let me try some
sign language.
573
00:36:03,568 --> 00:36:05,169
All right.
574
00:36:06,238 --> 00:36:14,546
You... can't... break... into...
Your father's... store.
575
00:36:16,514 --> 00:36:24,522
It... makes... you... look...
Whoo... ah...
576
00:36:24,556 --> 00:36:25,990
Bad.
577
00:36:26,023 --> 00:36:28,526
He can't sees
nothing, neither.
578
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,728
David:
So, why are we
talking to him ?
579
00:36:30,762 --> 00:36:33,598
'Cause he's the one who's got
all the brains in the family.
580
00:36:35,900 --> 00:36:38,403
...yap, that helped
put us on the map.
581
00:36:48,980 --> 00:36:52,750
All righty, tell you
what I'm going to do.
582
00:36:52,784 --> 00:36:55,553
I'm going to let
you go this time.
583
00:36:55,587 --> 00:36:57,722
No one's pressing charges.
584
00:36:57,755 --> 00:36:58,923
But next time--
585
00:36:58,956 --> 00:37:00,692
clear!
586
00:37:04,596 --> 00:37:06,298
We'll never
do it again.
587
00:37:06,331 --> 00:37:08,533
You better not.
And you!
588
00:37:08,566 --> 00:37:11,936
Take that stupid
look off your face.
589
00:37:14,439 --> 00:37:17,342
That's better.
590
00:37:17,375 --> 00:37:18,810
Come on, come on.
Get outta here.
591
00:37:18,843 --> 00:37:20,678
Leave those masks.
592
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,616
Someone help me.
593
00:37:24,649 --> 00:37:26,618
Well, what can
we do for you ?
594
00:37:26,651 --> 00:37:29,554
I was taking a shower,
I just live around the corner.
595
00:37:29,587 --> 00:37:33,525
There was this man,
I saw him in my bushes.
596
00:37:33,558 --> 00:37:35,927
Watching me.
597
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:39,564
So he was...
Washing your bush.
598
00:37:39,597 --> 00:37:42,033
No, he was
busting my watch.
599
00:37:42,066 --> 00:37:45,437
I mean, watching my bust...
I mean watching me wash.
600
00:37:45,470 --> 00:37:50,508
I've never been so
scared in my whole life.
601
00:37:51,843 --> 00:37:56,681
So... this man,
did he look like this ?
602
00:37:56,714 --> 00:38:00,017
That's him.
Exactly!
603
00:38:02,987 --> 00:38:04,856
Well, sounds like
the peeping Tom.
604
00:38:08,926 --> 00:38:10,628
We know sombody's
been watching and
605
00:38:10,662 --> 00:38:12,830
we've been watching him watch...
But we don't know who he is.
606
00:38:12,864 --> 00:38:14,966
Even with that sketch ?
607
00:38:14,999 --> 00:38:17,034
Yeah, it's hard
to believe.
608
00:38:18,803 --> 00:38:22,106
Can I wash you walk ?
I mean, can I walk your bush ?
609
00:38:22,139 --> 00:38:25,009
I mean, can I walk
you home ?
610
00:38:25,042 --> 00:38:26,644
I'd really appreciate it.
611
00:38:26,678 --> 00:38:27,845
Heh, heh, heh.
612
00:38:27,879 --> 00:38:30,314
Thank you.
613
00:38:31,849 --> 00:38:33,951
Drop by anytime.
614
00:38:37,789 --> 00:38:39,557
So, is the
mayor gone yet ?
615
00:38:39,591 --> 00:38:42,760
Yeah, the shit has
really hit the fan.
616
00:38:44,128 --> 00:38:45,830
Wait a minute,
617
00:38:45,863 --> 00:38:48,500
we don't steal other
people's jokes around here.
618
00:38:48,533 --> 00:38:49,834
We only borrow them.
619
00:38:49,867 --> 00:38:51,369
Good thing.
620
00:38:51,403 --> 00:38:52,504
Yes. Oh, my god.
I left Billy in the cell.
621
00:38:52,537 --> 00:38:55,039
So, what's goin' on ?
622
00:38:56,708 --> 00:38:57,542
Okay, what happened was
623
00:38:57,542 --> 00:38:58,443
captain Smith came in
624
00:38:58,443 --> 00:38:58,976
the picture, you know,
625
00:38:58,976 --> 00:38:59,511
and he was the captain and
626
00:38:59,511 --> 00:39:00,144
he was great,
627
00:39:00,144 --> 00:39:00,978
because we ran prostitution
628
00:39:00,978 --> 00:39:01,879
through here, but everybody
629
00:39:01,879 --> 00:39:02,647
got paid a lot of money,
630
00:39:02,647 --> 00:39:03,548
they got their nails painted,
631
00:39:03,548 --> 00:39:04,115
their toes painted every
632
00:39:04,115 --> 00:39:05,149
single day 'cause they could
633
00:39:05,149 --> 00:39:05,450
afford it...
634
00:39:05,450 --> 00:39:05,950
>>Sorry.
635
00:39:05,950 --> 00:39:06,784
They bought all kinds of...
636
00:39:06,784 --> 00:39:07,719
And prostitution ring and they
637
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:08,520
keep trying to get rid of
638
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:09,421
the prostitution ring.
639
00:39:09,421 --> 00:39:10,054
What are we supposed to do,
640
00:39:10,054 --> 00:39:10,988
I mean, nobody is making money
641
00:39:10,988 --> 00:39:11,756
anymore, everybody needs
642
00:39:11,756 --> 00:39:12,590
to be rich, they need to get
643
00:39:12,590 --> 00:39:13,157
new clothes daily.
644
00:39:13,157 --> 00:39:14,091
They need to feed themselves,
645
00:39:14,091 --> 00:39:15,026
then captain Mary Mae comes in,
646
00:39:15,026 --> 00:39:15,292
she says,
647
00:39:15,292 --> 00:39:17,962
"oh, I'm not gonna take this..."
648
00:39:21,265 --> 00:39:23,568
This is a fine way
to run a business.
649
00:39:23,601 --> 00:39:26,404
Lock us up in
separate cells, man.
650
00:39:26,438 --> 00:39:28,473
I feel like I'm about
ready to bust.
651
00:39:28,506 --> 00:39:29,974
Billy!
652
00:39:30,007 --> 00:39:32,444
David!
653
00:39:32,477 --> 00:39:34,446
Sorry, man. I didn't mean
to leave you hangin'.
654
00:39:34,479 --> 00:39:35,713
We've had a
little problem.
655
00:39:35,747 --> 00:39:37,181
Look, we have a
little problem here.
656
00:39:37,214 --> 00:39:38,650
I've heard that before.
657
00:39:38,683 --> 00:39:40,017
So have I.
658
00:39:40,051 --> 00:39:42,787
Me too.
659
00:39:42,820 --> 00:39:46,724
Well, any way. I guess we should
probably leave you be for now.
660
00:39:46,758 --> 00:39:48,726
Yeah, let's go.
We'll come back.
661
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,929
No! Wait! David, you can't
leave me like this, man.
662
00:39:51,963 --> 00:39:53,665
I feel like a prisoner.
663
00:39:53,698 --> 00:39:54,966
What would make you
feel that way ?
664
00:39:54,999 --> 00:39:57,802
I got it.
We'll be back.
665
00:40:05,076 --> 00:40:06,578
>>She has something up her butt
666
00:40:06,578 --> 00:40:07,679
and it died and she doesn't
667
00:40:07,679 --> 00:40:08,946
understand because the law's all
668
00:40:08,946 --> 00:40:10,114
she knows, you know, she just
669
00:40:10,114 --> 00:40:11,182
doesn't even want to know what's
670
00:40:11,182 --> 00:40:12,450
going on, because she walks
671
00:40:12,450 --> 00:40:13,718
around the whole place,
672
00:40:13,718 --> 00:40:14,919
how does she know about this...
673
00:40:14,919 --> 00:40:16,087
She came here a short while ago
674
00:40:16,087 --> 00:40:17,489
she doesn't know anything,
675
00:40:17,489 --> 00:40:18,055
'cause she's--
676
00:40:21,092 --> 00:40:23,127
man, that was bad.
677
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,096
You didn't like it ?
678
00:40:25,129 --> 00:40:27,465
No, I'm down with it.
679
00:40:27,499 --> 00:40:30,535
It felt hard to me.
680
00:40:30,568 --> 00:40:34,472
No, I mean I'm cool.
I'm just chillin'.
681
00:40:34,506 --> 00:40:38,710
Do you want me to
turn up the heat ?
682
00:40:38,743 --> 00:40:40,444
Hey, where's Bambi ?
683
00:40:41,813 --> 00:40:44,649
My god, she's still
with Billy.
684
00:40:44,682 --> 00:40:46,651
Captain Mae is coming!
Captain Mae is coming!
685
00:40:46,684 --> 00:40:49,521
Mae alert!
Mae alert!
686
00:40:53,558 --> 00:40:55,860
Well, I'm sure it's all
very interesting.
687
00:40:55,893 --> 00:40:57,028
But I really do have
to get unpacked.
688
00:40:57,061 --> 00:40:58,530
All right.
Maybe later then.
689
00:40:58,563 --> 00:41:00,732
I've still got some
paper work to do.
690
00:41:00,765 --> 00:41:02,099
Any messages ?
691
00:41:02,133 --> 00:41:03,868
Yes, your
mother called.
My mother called ?
692
00:41:03,901 --> 00:41:05,202
Yes, there's been
a horrible accident.
693
00:41:05,236 --> 00:41:06,538
Your father's
been killed.
694
00:41:06,571 --> 00:41:07,939
What do you mean ?
695
00:41:07,972 --> 00:41:09,140
Apparently there was a
freak accident and
696
00:41:09,173 --> 00:41:10,875
his lawn mower killed him.
697
00:41:10,908 --> 00:41:12,276
She said it went haywire
698
00:41:12,309 --> 00:41:14,211
and turned your father
into fertilizer.
699
00:41:14,245 --> 00:41:16,080
Wait, good news.
700
00:41:16,113 --> 00:41:17,649
Your lawn looks
better than ever.
701
00:41:17,682 --> 00:41:19,717
It's colorful and
full of life.
702
00:41:19,751 --> 00:41:22,186
Who are you ?
703
00:41:22,219 --> 00:41:25,557
Officer Lisa hancock,
I'm the night receptionist.
704
00:41:25,590 --> 00:41:29,060
I thought the lieutenant picked
up the phone at night ?
705
00:41:29,093 --> 00:41:31,062
Well, that's because
he didn't have me.
706
00:41:33,565 --> 00:41:35,066
Do you have
any white-out ?
707
00:41:52,249 --> 00:41:56,754
Oh, gosh, Billy.
I thought you were done. Sorry.
708
00:41:56,788 --> 00:41:59,791
No, no. Wait!
David! David!
709
00:41:59,824 --> 00:42:02,927
Damn, no matter what I do
I can't get out of jail.
710
00:42:06,363 --> 00:42:09,333
Amity police department.
Is this an emergency ?
711
00:42:09,366 --> 00:42:13,805
It sure feels like one.
Shang-a-lang-a-ding-dong.
712
00:42:13,838 --> 00:42:15,607
Preference ?
713
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,942
I've already picked the blonde
one and I'm tired of Casey.
714
00:42:17,975 --> 00:42:20,277
An officer will be right over.
715
00:42:20,311 --> 00:42:24,281
Go wake up Clifford and get
Hamilton a run interference.
716
00:42:24,315 --> 00:42:26,017
All right.
717
00:42:32,790 --> 00:42:35,593
No. I'm here as
a public servant.
718
00:42:35,627 --> 00:42:37,361
I'll help anybody.
No problem at all.
719
00:42:37,394 --> 00:42:40,331
Why would I care that
it's the pope ?
720
00:42:40,364 --> 00:42:43,200
He's got sexual problems
just like everybody else.
721
00:42:43,234 --> 00:42:47,138
I assure you. What do you
mean, anti-semitic ?
722
00:42:50,842 --> 00:42:52,376
Hamilton ?
723
00:42:52,409 --> 00:42:54,612
Yes ?
724
00:42:54,646 --> 00:42:57,081
I've got a
client en route
725
00:42:57,114 --> 00:42:59,216
and I need you to pick up
a graffiti artist.
726
00:42:59,250 --> 00:43:01,285
Take care of the
captain for me, will ya ?
727
00:43:01,318 --> 00:43:03,955
That woman's about as
much fun as an enema.
728
00:43:03,988 --> 00:43:05,757
I'll right, then I'll
take care of her.
729
00:43:05,790 --> 00:43:07,358
Thanks.
730
00:43:11,128 --> 00:43:14,298
And by the way...
Don't forget...
731
00:43:14,331 --> 00:43:16,768
Bambi's in the cell,
you got to get her out.
732
00:43:16,801 --> 00:43:19,771
Remember last time ? She thought
she was the lion for an hour.
733
00:43:19,804 --> 00:43:22,006
Remember ? I had to do
the end production of
734
00:43:22,039 --> 00:43:25,209
the wizard of oz fifty times,
how could I forget ?
735
00:43:25,242 --> 00:43:28,880
That was pretty
miserable, wasn't it ?
736
00:43:28,913 --> 00:43:30,314
Yeah, it was.
You were off key.
737
00:43:30,347 --> 00:43:31,783
Very.
Very flat.
738
00:43:31,816 --> 00:43:34,151
It was a bad day.
739
00:43:34,185 --> 00:43:36,087
Bad hair day, too.
Damn!
740
00:43:38,756 --> 00:43:40,157
But I'm on a diet.
741
00:43:40,191 --> 00:43:43,027
You're 100 pounds
over weight--
742
00:43:43,060 --> 00:43:45,897
oh, hi. Captain,
I'm going out on a call...
743
00:43:45,930 --> 00:43:47,965
It's very high profile.
744
00:43:47,999 --> 00:43:49,767
I thought you might
like to ride shotgun ?
745
00:43:49,801 --> 00:43:50,835
You think it
may be dangerous ?
746
00:43:50,868 --> 00:43:51,803
It very well
could be.
747
00:43:51,836 --> 00:43:54,105
Let's go!
All right.
748
00:43:57,842 --> 00:43:59,376
Marty.
749
00:44:02,847 --> 00:44:04,381
Seen Carrie ?
750
00:44:04,415 --> 00:44:06,017
No.
751
00:44:06,050 --> 00:44:08,953
All right, well if you
see her before I do,
752
00:44:08,986 --> 00:44:11,022
let her know we need her
in the interrogation room.
753
00:44:11,055 --> 00:44:13,691
We're not using the cells
in the day anymore, okay ?
754
00:44:13,725 --> 00:44:15,359
Okay.
755
00:44:15,392 --> 00:44:16,928
Hey, cliff ?
756
00:44:16,961 --> 00:44:18,229
Yes ?
757
00:44:19,997 --> 00:44:22,967
You ever have two girls come
on to you at the same Tim ?
758
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:26,804
Only in my dreams.
What's up ?
759
00:44:26,838 --> 00:44:27,705
Well, I don't know
how to decide.
760
00:44:27,739 --> 00:44:30,241
What's to decide ?
761
00:44:30,274 --> 00:44:32,844
Well, I've never,
you know...
762
00:44:32,877 --> 00:44:35,312
I've never been in
this situation before.
763
00:44:35,346 --> 00:44:37,749
Marty, there's worse situations
to be in, all right ?
764
00:44:37,782 --> 00:44:39,717
Trust me.
I tell you what,
765
00:44:39,751 --> 00:44:41,853
if you get two chicks
in the sack, all right,
766
00:44:41,886 --> 00:44:43,788
I'll turn in my badge.
767
00:44:43,821 --> 00:44:45,289
It'd almost be worth it.
768
00:44:45,322 --> 00:44:47,759
Shut up! All right,
so if you see Carrie,
769
00:44:47,792 --> 00:44:49,026
you'll tell her that ?
770
00:44:49,060 --> 00:44:50,928
All right.
Thank you.
771
00:44:50,962 --> 00:44:52,429
Thank you.
772
00:44:55,532 --> 00:44:57,034
What do you got ?
773
00:44:57,068 --> 00:44:59,871
Counterfeit,
caught him red-handed.
774
00:44:59,904 --> 00:45:01,305
Good work.
775
00:45:01,338 --> 00:45:03,307
So, what are
you doing ?
776
00:45:03,340 --> 00:45:04,441
Got Carrie in the
interrogation room.
777
00:45:04,475 --> 00:45:06,978
Come here,
my little doggie.
778
00:45:12,283 --> 00:45:13,918
Heel!
Heel!
779
00:45:18,422 --> 00:45:21,192
Ankles.
Ankles!
780
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:26,497
That's it,
lick my latex.
781
00:45:26,530 --> 00:45:28,532
Good doggie.
782
00:45:28,565 --> 00:45:31,302
That was bull shit!
An 8-year-old ?
783
00:45:31,335 --> 00:45:33,070
What kind of crime do we
have in this city ?
784
00:45:33,104 --> 00:45:35,506
Oh, Mae alert!
Mae alert!
785
00:45:35,539 --> 00:45:37,775
Meow!
786
00:45:37,809 --> 00:45:40,077
Oh, no! Come on!
Come on, get up!
787
00:45:40,111 --> 00:45:42,046
Get up!
788
00:45:42,079 --> 00:45:43,514
Get up.
Put your clothes on.
789
00:45:43,547 --> 00:45:46,984
Come on,
oh, Mae alert.
790
00:45:47,018 --> 00:45:49,253
M@e alert.
Maealert
791
00:45:49,286 --> 00:45:51,055
out, John boy! Out!
792
00:45:54,025 --> 00:45:56,260
All clear!
793
00:45:56,293 --> 00:45:57,829
What's that
supposed to mean ?
794
00:45:57,862 --> 00:46:01,332
Oh, would you believe--
795
00:46:01,365 --> 00:46:04,802
thank you. Thank you and welcome
to "would you believe?"
796
00:46:04,836 --> 00:46:06,137
The show that tests--
797
00:46:06,170 --> 00:46:07,238
no, no, no!
798
00:46:07,271 --> 00:46:08,405
What ?
799
00:46:08,439 --> 00:46:09,373
Well, this is just
over the top.
800
00:46:09,406 --> 00:46:10,975
Really ?
Yes.
801
00:46:12,844 --> 00:46:15,179
Well, if you want to be
that way about it... here!
802
00:46:17,614 --> 00:46:19,884
So, what really
happened ?
803
00:46:19,917 --> 00:46:23,520
Well, I was interrogating
this man, and we ah, ah...
804
00:46:23,554 --> 00:46:24,488
Ah, threw up.
He threw up.
805
00:46:24,521 --> 00:46:26,590
He threw!
806
00:46:26,623 --> 00:46:30,061
And I was just letting him
know that it was all clear...
807
00:46:30,094 --> 00:46:31,062
Meaning that it
was all clean.
808
00:46:31,095 --> 00:46:32,830
Clean. Clear.
Clear and clean.
809
00:46:32,864 --> 00:46:34,198
As a whistle.
810
00:46:34,231 --> 00:46:35,399
Where are your
cleaning supplies ?
811
00:46:35,432 --> 00:46:37,068
Whistling.
812
00:46:37,101 --> 00:46:39,403
Ah, all I need is
my trusty rag.
813
00:46:39,436 --> 00:46:41,338
Dependable.
Trusty.
814
00:46:41,372 --> 00:46:43,941
You can trust it.
Never lie to you, ever.
815
00:46:43,975 --> 00:46:45,442
What have we got here ?
816
00:46:45,476 --> 00:46:50,614
I caught him trying to pass
counterfeit 100 dollar bills.
817
00:46:50,647 --> 00:46:52,950
Good work.
818
00:46:52,984 --> 00:46:54,986
But the guy must
be color blind.
819
00:46:55,019 --> 00:46:56,120
What makes you
think that ?
820
00:46:56,153 --> 00:46:59,090
Because 100 dollar
bills aren't red.
821
00:46:59,123 --> 00:47:00,858
Stupid.
822
00:47:03,094 --> 00:47:04,128
Are you sure on that ?
823
00:47:04,161 --> 00:47:07,398
Well, here. You take a couple,
I'll take a couple...
824
00:47:07,431 --> 00:47:08,332
Anybody want one ?
825
00:47:08,365 --> 00:47:09,400
I'll take one.
826
00:47:09,433 --> 00:47:12,103
Have a nice day.
Merry Christmas.
827
00:47:12,136 --> 00:47:13,370
Twinkie ?
828
00:47:13,404 --> 00:47:14,205
I'll take it--
sure, thanks.
829
00:47:14,238 --> 00:47:15,272
Give me another
one of those. Thanks.
830
00:47:24,581 --> 00:47:27,952
Ah, what a day.
831
00:47:27,985 --> 00:47:30,955
Seven jaywalkers, two double-
Parkers and a litter bug.
832
00:47:30,988 --> 00:47:35,292
God! Sometimes you really gotta
earn your paycheck around here.
833
00:47:39,163 --> 00:47:40,364
Leaving ?
834
00:47:40,397 --> 00:47:41,899
I'm taking the
books home with me.
835
00:47:41,933 --> 00:47:43,935
Think anything
will happen tonight ?
836
00:47:43,968 --> 00:47:48,205
Ah, no, no. Nights around here
are slower than the days.
837
00:47:49,974 --> 00:47:51,976
Well, I'm only
a phone call away.
838
00:47:52,009 --> 00:47:54,011
Good night.
Good night.
839
00:47:56,380 --> 00:48:00,051
One-one thousand,
two-one thousand,
three-one thousand...
840
00:48:00,084 --> 00:48:02,186
Let's party!
841
00:48:02,219 --> 00:48:04,155
Whoo, yeah!
842
00:48:54,005 --> 00:48:57,474
Come on, man. It's not funny.
Leave me alone.
843
00:48:57,508 --> 00:49:00,111
It's not my fault.
844
00:49:04,115 --> 00:49:05,416
Good morning, everyone.
845
00:49:05,449 --> 00:49:07,018
Good morning, captain.
846
00:49:07,051 --> 00:49:08,519
Morning, captain.
847
00:49:08,552 --> 00:49:10,654
Clifford, did you
take roll call ?
848
00:49:10,687 --> 00:49:11,755
All here.
849
00:49:11,788 --> 00:49:15,059
Good. Last night I went
over the books...
850
00:49:15,092 --> 00:49:17,394
And I was very surprised.
851
00:49:17,428 --> 00:49:19,396
I've never seen a
police department
852
00:49:19,430 --> 00:49:21,698
in such great
financial shape.
853
00:49:21,732 --> 00:49:24,501
Oh, very nice. Good.
854
00:49:24,535 --> 00:49:26,370
Money, I like that.
855
00:49:26,403 --> 00:49:29,306
This building has been
paid off and I see you put
856
00:49:29,340 --> 00:49:31,775
a down payment on a
new building for the station.
857
00:49:31,808 --> 00:49:35,046
Your community has bought
you new walkie-talkies,
858
00:49:35,079 --> 00:49:39,016
new uniforms, new weights
and a cappaccino machine.
859
00:49:39,050 --> 00:49:41,152
Hear, hear!
860
00:49:41,185 --> 00:49:43,020
It makes me proud.
861
00:49:43,054 --> 00:49:45,489
I-- they just give and give.
862
00:49:45,522 --> 00:49:49,693
However, I have noticed
some unorthodox procedures
863
00:49:49,726 --> 00:49:53,764
around here. So you guys best
watch your "ps and qs."
864
00:49:53,797 --> 00:49:56,400
We're going by the book.
865
00:50:06,510 --> 00:50:07,711
At ease.
866
00:50:10,747 --> 00:50:12,383
Understood ?
867
00:50:12,416 --> 00:50:14,651
Understood.
Understood.
Understood!
868
00:50:18,222 --> 00:50:21,558
Now, I have a little
surprise for you.
869
00:50:21,592 --> 00:50:24,595
Since there's such an excess
of cash in the slush fund,
870
00:50:24,628 --> 00:50:27,298
I'm going to be
sprucing up the place.
871
00:50:27,331 --> 00:50:30,767
You know, putting in some
green plants,
872
00:50:30,801 --> 00:50:32,703
maybe a painting or two.
873
00:50:34,705 --> 00:50:36,740
Anything else ?
874
00:50:37,274 --> 00:50:41,578
Yes, we have a new drawing of
the suspect, the peeping Tom.
875
00:50:41,612 --> 00:50:44,581
Pass this around to everybody,
get a good look at it.
876
00:50:44,615 --> 00:50:46,517
Ooo, yeah.
Ah!
877
00:50:50,154 --> 00:50:52,589
I wish I could
draw like that.
878
00:50:52,623 --> 00:50:54,791
Ooo, I want
this guy.
879
00:50:57,294 --> 00:50:58,695
Hey, that looks like
my ex-boyfriend.
880
00:50:58,729 --> 00:51:01,498
Let me see that, again.
881
00:51:01,532 --> 00:51:05,469
I bet you I could find
this guy in two hours.
882
00:51:05,502 --> 00:51:07,571
Oay, get out there
and be safe.
883
00:51:20,417 --> 00:51:22,453
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know anybody was here.
884
00:51:22,486 --> 00:51:24,188
What are you
sorry about ?
885
00:51:25,756 --> 00:51:27,791
I-- um-- i--
886
00:51:33,164 --> 00:51:35,566
I-- um--
887
00:51:35,899 --> 00:51:38,269
could you come stand
here for a second ?
888
00:51:40,704 --> 00:51:43,274
Well... sure.
889
00:51:48,845 --> 00:51:52,149
No. Stand here.
890
00:51:52,183 --> 00:51:53,650
There ?
891
00:51:55,419 --> 00:51:56,520
All right.
892
00:51:59,890 --> 00:52:02,526
Now, you try to
push my legs out...
893
00:52:02,559 --> 00:52:05,496
And I'll try to
push them back in.
894
00:52:05,529 --> 00:52:07,130
Okay.
895
00:52:10,267 --> 00:52:11,402
Gotcha.
896
00:52:13,670 --> 00:52:16,607
All my life I never even had
a beautiful girl look at me.
897
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,409
I mean, much less
come on to me.
898
00:52:21,378 --> 00:52:23,480
And out of the blue today,
it's happened twice.
899
00:52:23,514 --> 00:52:24,381
Twice ?
900
00:52:24,415 --> 00:52:25,782
What's going on here ?
901
00:52:27,818 --> 00:52:30,454
I was just exercising
my thighs.
902
00:52:33,724 --> 00:52:34,925
Bitch.
903
00:52:46,970 --> 00:52:49,473
Where's that janitor ?
904
00:52:49,506 --> 00:52:51,475
My blinds haven't
been dusted this decade.
905
00:52:51,508 --> 00:52:53,477
She works on
mostly nights.
906
00:52:53,510 --> 00:52:56,380
Fine, I'll leave
her a note.
907
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:03,920
Tell me when the
mayor's wife comes in,
908
00:53:03,954 --> 00:53:05,489
she's taking me to lunch.
909
00:53:05,522 --> 00:53:06,723
She's already here.
910
00:53:06,757 --> 00:53:08,392
She is ?
911
00:53:08,425 --> 00:53:10,494
She's downstairs with the
women's auxiliary.
912
00:53:10,527 --> 00:53:12,263
Oh, good. I think I'll
go join her.
913
00:53:20,371 --> 00:53:23,740
Now hold it in your hand.
Firmly but gently.
914
00:53:23,774 --> 00:53:26,477
Then up and down,
up and down.
915
00:53:26,510 --> 00:53:29,813
Oh, Mae alert!
Oh, Mae alert!
916
00:53:29,846 --> 00:53:31,282
Okay, put them
away 'til later, okay ?
917
00:53:31,315 --> 00:53:35,018
Knowing the correct way
to use a condom
918
00:53:35,051 --> 00:53:37,854
could mean the difference
between life and death.
919
00:53:37,888 --> 00:53:39,823
Hello.
920
00:53:39,856 --> 00:53:42,993
You must be
captain Mary Mae.
921
00:53:43,026 --> 00:53:44,695
Ladies...
922
00:53:44,728 --> 00:53:47,331
Captain Mary Mae.
923
00:53:47,364 --> 00:53:50,767
Our new...
Captain.
924
00:53:50,801 --> 00:53:53,270
Bravo!
925
00:53:55,839 --> 00:53:57,408
Aren't you
the janitor ?
926
00:53:57,441 --> 00:54:01,278
Janitor and also
sex educator.
927
00:54:01,312 --> 00:54:03,880
Clean is
as clean does.
928
00:54:10,053 --> 00:54:11,955
Hey, what are
you doin' here ?
929
00:54:11,988 --> 00:54:14,291
Ah, couldn't sleep.
930
00:54:14,325 --> 00:54:17,694
I was up all night trying
to catch that peeping Tom.
931
00:54:23,734 --> 00:54:25,802
Hey, Hamilton.
What you got there ?
932
00:54:25,836 --> 00:54:27,571
Yeah, what you got
over here ?
933
00:54:27,604 --> 00:54:30,474
Loiterer, got a
complaint from Cunningham's.
934
00:54:30,507 --> 00:54:31,542
I'm so impressed
with the role
935
00:54:31,575 --> 00:54:34,345
that this police department
plays in the community.
936
00:54:34,378 --> 00:54:36,813
Oh, yes. Our officers
really give their best.
937
00:54:36,847 --> 00:54:38,482
Mister, you got a name ?
938
00:54:41,985 --> 00:54:43,487
Don't give me
any of your lip.
939
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:45,489
All right,
listen up.
940
00:54:45,522 --> 00:54:47,824
I want you to take
his cuffs off him.
941
00:54:47,858 --> 00:54:50,561
But watch him!
He looks like a creep.
942
00:54:50,594 --> 00:54:53,096
Get some finger prints.
943
00:54:53,129 --> 00:54:55,899
That was really good
the way you handled him.
944
00:54:55,932 --> 00:54:57,468
It was strong--
945
00:54:57,501 --> 00:54:59,803
thank you. You know,
I was trying to be--
946
00:54:59,836 --> 00:55:01,505
I didn't want to
go over the top.
947
00:55:01,538 --> 00:55:02,973
Some people--
948
00:55:04,408 --> 00:55:06,443
he's got a gun.
949
00:55:07,744 --> 00:55:09,780
Stop it!
950
00:55:09,813 --> 00:55:12,015
That's enough screaming!
951
00:55:13,617 --> 00:55:15,819
Now, you!
952
00:55:15,852 --> 00:55:17,754
Why did you have to go
and get my gun ?
953
00:55:17,788 --> 00:55:19,055
We were just going to
give you a hot meal.
954
00:55:19,089 --> 00:55:21,692
We weren't gonna
do anything.
955
00:55:23,460 --> 00:55:26,497
All right, Mr.
listen to me.
956
00:55:26,530 --> 00:55:28,699
There's nothing
to worry about,
957
00:55:28,732 --> 00:55:30,901
it's okay.
I know you're scared.
958
00:55:30,934 --> 00:55:34,104
Watch me, I'm the guy
to talk to.
959
00:55:34,137 --> 00:55:36,373
I'm not touching
my gun, you see me,
960
00:55:36,407 --> 00:55:39,543
my hand is
not on my gun.
961
00:55:39,576 --> 00:55:41,845
No, no, no!
962
00:55:43,146 --> 00:55:45,582
Now, stay focused,
963
00:55:45,616 --> 00:55:47,384
it's gonna be okay.
964
00:55:47,418 --> 00:55:50,387
You can do this,
we're all friends here.
965
00:55:50,421 --> 00:55:53,690
We're all friends,
drop the gun.
966
00:55:53,724 --> 00:55:55,959
Come on, give me the gun!
You can do it.
967
00:55:55,992 --> 00:55:58,695
Give me the gun.
Look a u.F.O.!
968
00:56:12,809 --> 00:56:14,978
Thank you.
969
00:56:15,011 --> 00:56:18,449
Thank you.
There's nothing to see here.
970
00:56:18,482 --> 00:56:22,519
Now... all right, Mr.
971
00:56:22,553 --> 00:56:25,055
We've got a place
for people like you,
972
00:56:25,088 --> 00:56:29,059
it's called a
"big gray cell."
973
00:56:29,092 --> 00:56:30,961
Take him away!
974
00:56:30,994 --> 00:56:33,029
I'm sorry.
That's all right.
975
00:56:33,063 --> 00:56:34,965
Get over here,
you scum bag!
976
00:56:39,703 --> 00:56:41,505
Thank you!
977
00:56:41,538 --> 00:56:43,840
Good work,
officer caroll.
978
00:56:43,874 --> 00:56:45,709
Thank you very much,
just doin' my job.
979
00:56:45,742 --> 00:56:46,810
Well, I'm impressed.
980
00:56:46,843 --> 00:56:48,779
Thank you.
981
00:56:48,812 --> 00:56:50,914
Our hero.
982
00:56:50,947 --> 00:56:53,650
No need to
thank me.
983
00:56:53,684 --> 00:56:55,786
No need to thank me.
984
00:56:55,819 --> 00:57:00,190
Why don't you take the mayor's
wife out for a little lunch ?
985
00:57:00,223 --> 00:57:01,658
Come on,
you deserve it.
986
00:57:01,692 --> 00:57:03,794
Come on,
get out of here.
987
00:57:03,827 --> 00:57:06,730
You guys have done a great job.
Thanks for watching.
988
00:57:06,763 --> 00:57:08,131
You can sleep
safe in amity.
989
00:57:09,966 --> 00:57:12,002
Love those guys, whew!
990
00:57:16,607 --> 00:57:19,776
What a nice group of women.
That small town morality.
991
00:57:19,810 --> 00:57:21,912
You just can't find
that these days.
992
00:57:22,979 --> 00:57:24,247
Back so soon ?
993
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,683
Are you ever
off duty ?
994
00:57:26,717 --> 00:57:28,552
As a matter
of fact, I am.
995
00:57:28,585 --> 00:57:31,588
But not right now.
996
00:57:31,622 --> 00:57:33,624
I had three more
complaints about
997
00:57:33,657 --> 00:57:35,859
that peeping Tom
last night.
998
00:57:41,297 --> 00:57:45,068
Yes, but good news, got a
little further on that sketch.
999
00:57:45,101 --> 00:57:47,538
Take a look.
1000
00:57:47,571 --> 00:57:50,541
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
1001
00:57:50,574 --> 00:57:52,876
See, big differences. Now it'll
be a lot easier to find.
1002
00:57:52,909 --> 00:57:54,077
Well, that will
certainly help.
1003
00:57:54,110 --> 00:57:56,079
Yep!
I know.
1004
00:57:56,112 --> 00:57:58,782
Never knew I had
such a flair for art.
1005
00:58:01,051 --> 00:58:01,952
Captain!
1006
00:58:01,985 --> 00:58:04,254
Shhh!
1007
00:58:04,287 --> 00:58:06,256
Captain, what are
you doing here ?
1008
00:58:17,300 --> 00:58:20,136
What are you
doing here ?
1009
00:58:20,170 --> 00:58:21,905
What's with the
donut outfit ?
1010
00:58:21,938 --> 00:58:24,975
Camouflage.
I'm an eclair.
1011
00:58:25,008 --> 00:58:28,211
Listen, I came here to warn
you about that Mary Mae.
1012
00:58:28,244 --> 00:58:31,047
She's the best
they've got. I.N.S.
1013
00:58:31,081 --> 00:58:32,983
Immigration ?
1014
00:58:33,016 --> 00:58:34,718
I mean I.B.M.
1015
00:58:34,751 --> 00:58:36,620
Oh computers ?
1016
00:58:36,653 --> 00:58:39,556
I mean I.F.S.
1017
00:58:39,590 --> 00:58:40,891
Banking ?
1018
00:58:40,924 --> 00:58:41,992
You know,
internal affairs.
1019
00:58:42,025 --> 00:58:43,794
Oh, right.
1020
00:58:43,827 --> 00:58:45,295
Tell me that you've closed
down the whole operation,
1021
00:58:45,328 --> 00:58:47,063
and put away
the contraband ?
1022
00:58:47,097 --> 00:58:49,265
I'd love to tell you that
but that's a lie.
1023
00:58:49,299 --> 00:58:51,067
She's not that hot.
1024
00:58:51,101 --> 00:58:52,068
Not at all.
No. We've got it covered.
1025
00:58:52,102 --> 00:58:53,670
We have a plan.
1026
00:58:53,704 --> 00:58:56,139
She can't even got to the
bathroom without everyone
knowing exactly where she is.
1027
00:58:56,172 --> 00:58:57,340
That's right.
1028
00:58:57,373 --> 00:58:59,676
A peephole ?
No. Listen.
1029
00:59:00,811 --> 00:59:02,145
Thelma:
Oh Mae to the lunch room.
1030
00:59:02,178 --> 00:59:04,781
Oh Mae to the lunch room.
1031
00:59:04,815 --> 00:59:07,884
Pretty nifty, huh ?
1032
00:59:07,918 --> 00:59:09,753
Quick hide!
Hide!
1033
00:59:12,789 --> 00:59:13,890
Gentlemen...
1034
00:59:13,924 --> 00:59:15,626
We were just leaving.
1035
00:59:15,659 --> 00:59:17,728
No. I was just looking
for the two of you.
1036
00:59:17,761 --> 00:59:20,063
I think---
1037
00:59:20,096 --> 00:59:21,297
right here.
Here we are.
1038
00:59:21,331 --> 00:59:24,635
I think they've made a terrible
mistake about this department.
1039
00:59:24,668 --> 00:59:26,169
There's nothing fishy
going on here.
1040
00:59:26,202 --> 00:59:27,738
Nothing at all.
1041
00:59:27,771 --> 00:59:28,705
No. Not at all.
1042
00:59:28,739 --> 00:59:30,140
By the book,
that's our motto.
1043
00:59:30,173 --> 00:59:34,611
That's all right.
It's fine.
1044
00:59:34,645 --> 00:59:36,713
Good, we're just trying
to be good cops.
1045
00:59:36,747 --> 00:59:38,114
The best.
1046
00:59:38,148 --> 00:59:41,217
You are both fine
police officers.
1047
00:59:41,251 --> 00:59:45,055
Exemplary.
1048
00:59:45,088 --> 00:59:46,857
Thanks. You know
you've got to stop.
1049
00:59:46,890 --> 00:59:50,861
In fact, I want to do
something special for you.
1050
00:59:51,662 --> 00:59:54,297
I don't know what yet...
1051
00:59:55,966 --> 01:00:00,136
I just want you to know
I'm planning something.
1052
01:00:00,170 --> 01:00:01,805
Great!
Wonderful!
1053
01:00:01,838 --> 01:00:02,272
Thank you so much.
1054
01:00:03,674 --> 01:00:05,008
You're a real sweetheart.
A real pal.
1055
01:00:05,041 --> 01:00:07,410
Hamilton,
get back to work.
1056
01:00:07,443 --> 01:00:10,013
David, go home,
get some sleep.
1057
01:00:10,046 --> 01:00:12,182
Get some z's
1058
01:00:12,215 --> 01:00:14,718
that's an order.
1059
01:00:15,819 --> 01:00:17,353
That was close.
1060
01:00:17,387 --> 01:00:19,122
I'm telling you
she knows something.
1061
01:00:19,155 --> 01:00:21,157
She can't!
It's not possible!
1062
01:00:21,191 --> 01:00:24,094
Listen, you've got to
close down the operation.
1063
01:00:24,127 --> 01:00:27,397
Well, we can't do that.
We're less than a week
away from the squad car.
1064
01:00:27,430 --> 01:00:28,999
We'd let the girls
down terribly.
1065
01:00:29,032 --> 01:00:30,834
It's too dangerous.
1066
01:00:31,835 --> 01:00:32,736
Well, I think
she's an M&M.
1067
01:00:32,769 --> 01:00:34,805
Huh ?
1068
01:00:34,838 --> 01:00:40,176
You know, hard on the outside,
soft and squishy on the outside.
1069
01:00:40,210 --> 01:00:42,846
You're playing with fire.
1070
01:00:42,879 --> 01:00:44,447
No I'm not.
1071
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:47,250
Besides, think of
it this way.
1072
01:00:47,283 --> 01:00:50,821
I don't think this has anything
to do with the investigation
on the department.
1073
01:00:50,854 --> 01:00:55,358
I think it has to do with
that little affair you had
with Mrs. Davies.
1074
01:00:55,391 --> 01:00:59,295
Oh, you think
it's personal ?
1075
01:00:59,329 --> 01:01:02,733
It would sure
explain things.
1076
01:01:07,403 --> 01:01:10,240
I was going to workout
before my shower.
1077
01:01:10,273 --> 01:01:11,708
Would you like
to join me ?
1078
01:01:11,742 --> 01:01:13,176
Well you know i---
1079
01:01:13,209 --> 01:01:13,777
I think you should
workout with me.
1080
01:01:13,810 --> 01:01:16,379
We can work
on my pecs.
1081
01:01:16,412 --> 01:01:19,349
Well you know I was going to
take a nap. I'm kind of tired.
1082
01:01:19,382 --> 01:01:21,451
Is that an invitation ?
1083
01:01:21,484 --> 01:01:23,186
Well you know---
1084
01:01:23,219 --> 01:01:27,023
what the hell do you
think you're doing ?
1085
01:01:27,057 --> 01:01:29,225
Why don't you go home
and take a cold shower.
1086
01:01:29,259 --> 01:01:31,494
It's easy to see which
one of us he prefers.
1087
01:01:31,527 --> 01:01:34,497
You know to tell you
the truth I'm not---
1088
01:01:34,530 --> 01:01:38,068
you better get out of here
before I knock your lights out.
1089
01:01:38,101 --> 01:01:39,302
No ladies, please.
1090
01:01:39,335 --> 01:01:41,137
I'd like to see
you try.
1091
01:01:41,171 --> 01:01:42,705
Ladies, ladies,
please I've---
1092
01:01:45,475 --> 01:01:46,743
come on!
1093
01:01:52,282 --> 01:01:54,117
You guys are best friends
let's not forget that.
1094
01:01:54,150 --> 01:01:56,052
Not any more!
1095
01:01:58,221 --> 01:01:59,455
You slut!
You bitch!
1096
01:01:59,489 --> 01:02:02,358
Stop it!
Hey! Hey!
1097
01:02:02,392 --> 01:02:05,428
What are you doing
with your hands ?
1098
01:02:05,461 --> 01:02:09,866
What does it matter ?
There's no place where
hands haven't been put!
1099
01:02:12,903 --> 01:02:14,437
We can't have brawling
in the police station.
1100
01:02:14,470 --> 01:02:16,439
Not with the
new captain.
1101
01:02:16,472 --> 01:02:19,843
If you guys want to fight,
you do it in the ring.
1102
01:02:19,876 --> 01:02:21,477
Let's go.
1103
01:02:21,511 --> 01:02:24,047
I will see you tomorrow.
You'll bet eating out of
a straw.
1104
01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:27,250
We'll see about that.
1105
01:02:27,283 --> 01:02:30,220
I'm, you know--
this has never happened to me.
1106
01:02:30,253 --> 01:02:31,521
This is your
fault, man.
1107
01:02:31,554 --> 01:02:33,389
No I did nothing.
1108
01:02:33,423 --> 01:02:34,825
What kind of aftershave
do you use ?
You're dust.
1109
01:02:34,858 --> 01:02:36,159
Brut.
1110
01:02:36,192 --> 01:02:36,592
I gotta get
some.
1111
01:02:36,626 --> 01:02:37,493
By fabrougette.
1112
01:02:37,527 --> 01:02:39,129
Yeah!
1113
01:02:41,464 --> 01:02:44,968
Ladies and gentlemen,
1114
01:02:45,001 --> 01:02:48,872
welcome one, welcome all,
1115
01:02:48,905 --> 01:02:52,342
to the greatest fight
you've ever seen.
1116
01:02:52,375 --> 01:02:58,048
We have three rounds
of championship boxing.
1117
01:02:58,081 --> 01:03:02,218
Now weighing in at 120 pounds,
1118
01:03:02,252 --> 01:03:07,323
the former miss America
runner up,
1119
01:03:07,357 --> 01:03:14,030
the champ...
Miss Casey Williams.
1120
01:03:19,535 --> 01:03:21,137
Lisa:
You're gonna be great, kid.
You're gonna be great.
1121
01:03:22,973 --> 01:03:25,141
And in the other corner,
1122
01:03:25,175 --> 01:03:27,143
which would be over here,
1123
01:03:27,177 --> 01:03:30,146
the very talented
and lovely lady
1124
01:03:30,180 --> 01:03:34,885
who happens to be miss America
third runner up,
1125
01:03:34,918 --> 01:03:40,023
ladies and gentlemen
weighing in at...
1126
01:03:40,056 --> 01:03:42,492
112.
Ah, I see.
1127
01:03:42,525 --> 01:03:49,900
Weighing in at 112 pounds,
former miss America runner up,
1128
01:03:49,933 --> 01:03:51,467
second runner up.
1129
01:03:51,501 --> 01:03:55,371
Miss Lacey Andrews.
1130
01:03:56,539 --> 01:03:58,308
You're fucking dead!
1131
01:03:58,341 --> 01:04:02,478
All right. All right.
Everybody back to your corners.
1132
01:04:02,512 --> 01:04:05,048
Back to your corners.
1133
01:04:07,984 --> 01:04:09,920
All right, let's
come in, ladies.
1134
01:04:09,953 --> 01:04:12,455
Leave the robe.
Leave the robe.
1135
01:04:12,488 --> 01:04:13,924
All right.
1136
01:04:13,957 --> 01:04:19,295
Now... I want a good
clean fight here, kids.
1137
01:04:19,329 --> 01:04:22,966
I don't want to see any raw
punches to the head.
1138
01:04:22,999 --> 01:04:24,434
Like this.
1139
01:04:24,467 --> 01:04:27,938
Or any jabs to the
stomach, like this.
1140
01:04:27,971 --> 01:04:29,572
All right ?
1141
01:04:29,605 --> 01:04:32,175
Now let's have some fun, kids.
1142
01:04:34,477 --> 01:04:36,112
Dead meat.
1143
01:04:36,146 --> 01:04:38,881
Go for it.
1144
01:04:39,382 --> 01:04:42,585
Great. Great. Great.
Let's start the fight!
1145
01:05:08,378 --> 01:05:10,981
Watch out. A little low there.
A little low.
1146
01:05:19,155 --> 01:05:20,523
All right. All right
let's break it up.
1147
01:05:20,556 --> 01:05:23,026
One...
1148
01:05:23,059 --> 01:05:24,227
Two...
1149
01:05:24,260 --> 01:05:26,596
Three.
1150
01:05:26,629 --> 01:05:28,364
Okay. Back to your ring.
1151
01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:32,268
I can't see nothing
out of my eye.
1152
01:05:32,302 --> 01:05:35,371
Your going to have
to cut me, Lisa.
1153
01:05:35,405 --> 01:05:37,407
You look bad. I think we
should stop the fight.
1154
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:39,409
No. Cut the goddamn eye.
1155
01:05:39,442 --> 01:05:42,312
But watch the eyebrow,
I just waxed it.
1156
01:05:42,345 --> 01:05:43,613
No. It's not worth it.
1157
01:05:43,646 --> 01:05:45,982
Cut the eye.
1158
01:05:59,629 --> 01:06:01,131
All right.
1159
01:07:07,430 --> 01:07:10,433
Okay. Good fight.
Good fight.
1160
01:07:10,466 --> 01:07:13,636
And the winner by
a knock out...
1161
01:07:15,271 --> 01:07:18,408
Casey.
1162
01:07:30,286 --> 01:07:32,255
Hey!
1163
01:07:32,288 --> 01:07:34,257
You guys
yourselves again ?
1164
01:07:34,290 --> 01:07:35,691
Yeah.
1165
01:07:35,725 --> 01:07:37,760
Isn't that cute.
1166
01:07:38,794 --> 01:07:41,097
Have you seen
Marty ?
1167
01:07:41,131 --> 01:07:43,766
We kinda want to apologize
for all we put him through
the last few days.
1168
01:07:43,799 --> 01:07:45,468
Yeah I understand.
1169
01:07:45,501 --> 01:07:47,770
You have been big
troublemakers.
1170
01:07:47,803 --> 01:07:49,539
I'm sorry.
1171
01:07:49,572 --> 01:07:51,841
Don't be sorry to me.
I don't care.
1172
01:07:51,874 --> 01:07:55,478
I'm not the one who was standing
there watching you guys fight
it out.
1173
01:07:55,511 --> 01:07:58,314
Anyway, I'll let him
know you're looking for him.
1174
01:07:58,348 --> 01:08:01,784
Oh, no need.
We have a surprise for him.
1175
01:08:01,817 --> 01:08:03,519
Oh, really ?
1176
01:08:03,553 --> 01:08:07,523
Oh wait. In that case,
third cell on the left.
1177
01:08:07,557 --> 01:08:09,192
All right. Shhh!
Be very quiet.
1178
01:08:34,450 --> 01:08:36,752
We're gonna make a real
cop out of you.
1179
01:08:36,786 --> 01:08:40,356
Who told you
it was my birthday ?
1180
01:10:00,503 --> 01:10:01,837
Hey what are you guys doing ?
1181
01:10:08,444 --> 01:10:09,879
Good morning, all.
1182
01:10:09,912 --> 01:10:11,947
Good morning, captain.
1183
01:10:11,981 --> 01:10:14,584
As I told you
originally,
1184
01:10:14,617 --> 01:10:17,253
I was brought in here
to turn this department around.
1185
01:10:17,287 --> 01:10:19,489
And as I told you
more recently,
1186
01:10:19,522 --> 01:10:21,591
I didn't think there
was a need to.
1187
01:10:23,826 --> 01:10:25,928
She's a good lady.
1188
01:10:25,961 --> 01:10:28,431
The reason there's
no need to,
1189
01:10:28,464 --> 01:10:32,935
is because this entire
department is about to
be dissolved.
1190
01:10:34,537 --> 01:10:40,410
And each and every one of you
is going to be...
1191
01:10:40,443 --> 01:10:41,811
...dismissed!
1192
01:10:43,313 --> 01:10:45,381
Wait a second.
1193
01:10:45,415 --> 01:10:46,882
What are you
talking about ?
1194
01:10:46,916 --> 01:10:49,452
We didn't do
anything wrong.
1195
01:10:49,485 --> 01:10:51,387
I think turning a police station
into a house of ill repute,
1196
01:10:51,421 --> 01:10:53,623
is despicable.
1197
01:10:53,656 --> 01:10:55,024
Repute... what ?
1198
01:10:55,057 --> 01:10:58,694
No. Ill repute.
Ill repute.
1199
01:10:58,728 --> 01:11:00,430
Ill repute, captain.
What are you talking about ?
1200
01:11:00,463 --> 01:11:02,298
I didn't want to believe it.
1201
01:11:02,332 --> 01:11:05,868
I wanted to believe
that you were good cops.
1202
01:11:05,901 --> 01:11:08,738
That you care about
your community.
1203
01:11:08,771 --> 01:11:10,706
We care, we care.
1204
01:11:14,410 --> 01:11:16,078
This tape...
1205
01:11:16,111 --> 01:11:19,415
Has a prostitute playing
bucking bronco
1206
01:11:19,449 --> 01:11:23,353
with a John in this police
station's investigation room.
1207
01:11:30,826 --> 01:11:34,364
I can't believe it. She hid the
goddamn cameras in the plants.
1208
01:11:34,397 --> 01:11:37,500
This one, has a
prominent businessman
1209
01:11:37,533 --> 01:11:40,670
making a sizable donation
to this department
1210
01:11:40,703 --> 01:11:45,575
after an hour in a cell
screaming "oh, my god.
1211
01:11:45,608 --> 01:11:50,380
Oh, my god. Oh, my god."
1212
01:11:50,413 --> 01:11:51,514
Oh, my god.
1213
01:11:51,547 --> 01:11:54,917
And this one...
1214
01:11:54,950 --> 01:11:59,121
Has three police officers.
1215
01:11:59,154 --> 01:12:02,592
Two females and one male,
1216
01:12:02,625 --> 01:12:06,862
in one of our holding cells
having intimate knowledge
of each other.
1217
01:12:06,896 --> 01:12:08,731
Could I get a copy
of that ?
1218
01:12:12,535 --> 01:12:16,105
And I know you are behind
all this sin and decadence.
1219
01:12:16,138 --> 01:12:18,874
That you are the kingpin
of this operation.
1220
01:12:18,908 --> 01:12:22,111
And I will see that you
are treated accordingly.
1221
01:12:22,144 --> 01:12:26,682
Now, go clear out your
desk and lockers.
1222
01:12:26,716 --> 01:12:29,985
The mayor will be here soon
to serve you your papers.
1223
01:12:32,722 --> 01:12:35,525
Hold on a second.
1224
01:12:35,558 --> 01:12:38,394
I have something I want
to say to all of you.
1225
01:12:38,428 --> 01:12:42,798
As far as I'm concerned
you're all great cops.
1226
01:12:42,832 --> 01:12:44,066
Thank you.
1227
01:12:44,099 --> 01:12:47,537
Regardless of what the
department has to say.
1228
01:12:47,570 --> 01:12:49,472
I just want to tell you,
1229
01:12:49,505 --> 01:12:52,775
I've been doing this
for many, many years,
1230
01:12:52,808 --> 01:12:55,711
every time I try to get out,
1231
01:12:55,745 --> 01:12:57,112
they suck me right back in!
1232
01:12:59,615 --> 01:13:02,051
All right, get out of here.
1233
01:13:06,622 --> 01:13:08,958
Marty:
I'm gonna tell my mom.
1234
01:13:17,833 --> 01:13:19,735
I bet you really
enjoyed that.
1235
01:13:19,769 --> 01:13:21,036
Just doing my job.
1236
01:13:21,070 --> 01:13:24,106
Just doing my job.
Well, I got news for you,
1237
01:13:24,139 --> 01:13:25,908
we didn't do anything wrong
and you know it.
1238
01:13:25,941 --> 01:13:27,843
You broke the law.
1239
01:13:27,877 --> 01:13:29,745
Broke the law.
Yeah, great.
1240
01:13:29,779 --> 01:13:35,084
Come on. Prostitution is the
oldest profession on this
planet.
1241
01:13:35,117 --> 01:13:37,119
Besides the fact that it's
a victimless crime.
1242
01:13:37,152 --> 01:13:39,722
But it's still
a crime in this city.
1243
01:13:40,823 --> 01:13:42,858
Yeah, it is.
1244
01:13:42,892 --> 01:13:45,628
But I want you to think about
something for a minute.
1245
01:13:45,661 --> 01:13:48,598
The fact that we are helping
these ladies.
1246
01:13:48,631 --> 01:13:50,500
They're hookers, yes granted.
1247
01:13:50,533 --> 01:13:51,801
However they're going
to be hookers
1248
01:13:51,834 --> 01:13:53,903
either way you look at it.
1249
01:13:53,936 --> 01:13:56,539
So, we help them out.
1250
01:13:56,572 --> 01:13:58,574
We give 'em a head start.
We get them off the streets
1251
01:13:58,608 --> 01:14:01,243
and doing something they never
thought they could do.
1252
01:14:01,276 --> 01:14:04,013
Carrie is going back to school
to become a lawyer.
1253
01:14:04,046 --> 01:14:07,082
Bambi, she's going to become
a crossing guard.
1254
01:14:07,116 --> 01:14:09,819
I mean they're doing things with
their lives for a change.
1255
01:14:09,852 --> 01:14:12,488
But it's still against
the law.
1256
01:14:12,522 --> 01:14:14,624
Okay, I'll give you that.
It's against the law.
1257
01:14:14,657 --> 01:14:16,191
But we all break the law.
1258
01:14:16,225 --> 01:14:18,894
I mean, come on.
You know we speed.
1259
01:14:18,928 --> 01:14:22,264
We cut those little tags off
our pillows that we're not
supposed to.
1260
01:14:22,297 --> 01:14:23,799
I still have the tags
on my pillows.
1261
01:14:23,833 --> 01:14:26,101
You would.
1262
01:14:26,135 --> 01:14:29,204
You know what it is ?
1263
01:14:29,238 --> 01:14:31,807
You need something that
you haven't had
1264
01:14:31,841 --> 01:14:35,645
in a really, really
long time.
1265
01:14:35,678 --> 01:14:37,112
You see the truth
of the matter is,
1266
01:14:37,146 --> 01:14:43,886
what you need is something that
is not only physical,
1267
01:14:43,919 --> 01:14:47,256
but is emotional.
1268
01:14:47,289 --> 01:14:51,026
You need to learn how to feel.
1269
01:15:00,302 --> 01:15:03,005
You know they really do
know how to hurt a guy.
1270
01:15:09,579 --> 01:15:11,614
But I'm a cop.
1271
01:15:11,647 --> 01:15:15,751
I'm always a cop first.
1272
01:15:15,785 --> 01:15:17,653
Uh-huh. Well so am I.
1273
01:15:17,687 --> 01:15:22,124
So much so,
that I don't go anywhere...
1274
01:15:23,292 --> 01:15:24,794
...without my badge.
1275
01:15:30,900 --> 01:15:33,603
You think you're so hot.
1276
01:15:33,636 --> 01:15:37,006
That you're the only one
devoted to your job.
1277
01:15:37,039 --> 01:15:42,878
Well... you are not
the only one.
1278
01:15:42,912 --> 01:15:44,980
My god!
1279
01:16:33,863 --> 01:16:37,933
Oh, god. He must still be down
there with the old maid.
1280
01:16:41,671 --> 01:16:43,639
Oh, my god.
1281
01:16:43,673 --> 01:16:47,042
She must really be
cutting his balls off.
1282
01:16:47,076 --> 01:16:48,811
The poor bastard.
1283
01:17:10,432 --> 01:17:12,702
The mayor's here!
The mayor's here!
1284
01:17:12,735 --> 01:17:13,836
The mayor's here!
1285
01:17:13,869 --> 01:17:15,137
Oh, yeah!
1286
01:17:15,170 --> 01:17:16,171
Oh no!
1287
01:17:16,205 --> 01:17:18,007
Thelma on intercom:
The mayor's here!
1288
01:17:18,040 --> 01:17:20,075
Shit! Get up! Quick!
1289
01:17:22,044 --> 01:17:24,379
Mrs. D:
Darling I really think you're
doing the wrong thing here.
1290
01:17:24,413 --> 01:17:26,916
The people of tis town want
their police force
1291
01:17:26,949 --> 01:17:29,952
to be as moral
and ethical as they are.
1292
01:17:29,985 --> 01:17:34,156
We will not be protected from
the filth by filth.
1293
01:17:34,189 --> 01:17:35,725
Where's captain Mary Mae ?
1294
01:17:35,758 --> 01:17:38,293
I don't know, she must still
be in the lunch room.
1295
01:17:40,195 --> 01:17:43,098
Where's my dress ?
Where's my skirt ?
1296
01:17:43,132 --> 01:17:44,066
Give me your pants.
1297
01:17:45,500 --> 01:17:47,703
Gotch ya!
1298
01:17:47,737 --> 01:17:51,473
Got you all!
1299
01:17:51,506 --> 01:17:55,010
What you all have done
to this department...
1300
01:17:55,044 --> 01:17:58,013
Is beyond reprehensible.
1301
01:17:58,047 --> 01:18:01,784
It's a disgrace to
our community,
1302
01:18:01,817 --> 01:18:04,119
our culture...
1303
01:18:04,153 --> 01:18:08,490
And the fine people
who pay your salaries.
1304
01:18:08,523 --> 01:18:12,261
Oh, I will take great
pleasure...
1305
01:18:12,294 --> 01:18:17,132
In seeing that you're replaced
by officers of high moral
integrity
1306
01:18:17,166 --> 01:18:19,869
and that you're
all properly punished!
1307
01:18:19,902 --> 01:18:21,837
Save it for the podium.
1308
01:18:21,871 --> 01:18:24,373
Yeah!
You lost our votes!
1309
01:18:24,406 --> 01:18:27,076
Prisoners are not
allowed to vote!
1310
01:18:29,912 --> 01:18:31,446
Captain Mae!
1311
01:18:31,480 --> 01:18:34,216
I can explain.
1312
01:18:34,249 --> 01:18:37,186
The news team will
be here any minute,
1313
01:18:37,219 --> 01:18:40,923
to put all of this--
this whole thing on
the six o'clock news.
1314
01:18:40,956 --> 01:18:43,993
And you! Head of vice...
1315
01:18:44,026 --> 01:18:45,861
Clean out your desk!
1316
01:18:47,329 --> 01:18:49,498
You know mayor,
I think we can work this out.
1317
01:18:49,531 --> 01:18:53,769
These men and women have learned
the error of their ways.
1318
01:18:53,803 --> 01:18:55,838
And I think we should
give them another chance.
1319
01:18:55,871 --> 01:18:57,439
Oh, really ? That's not
what you were saying
1320
01:18:57,472 --> 01:18:59,274
when we were viewing
that tapes!
1321
01:18:59,308 --> 01:19:00,776
Well, see,
things have changed.
1322
01:19:00,810 --> 01:19:04,146
Officer caroll has presented
a very hard argument.
1323
01:19:04,179 --> 01:19:05,948
And I really think that
you should hear---
1324
01:19:05,981 --> 01:19:10,185
god oh mighty! It's like
an epidemic around here!
1325
01:19:10,219 --> 01:19:13,522
You take those off!
1326
01:19:13,555 --> 01:19:17,259
I mean--- well---
1327
01:19:17,292 --> 01:19:20,796
change! Change!
1328
01:19:20,830 --> 01:19:23,032
I have changed.
1329
01:19:23,833 --> 01:19:24,934
I don't see how!
1330
01:19:26,435 --> 01:19:28,871
You guys stop leering
at my wife!
1331
01:19:28,904 --> 01:19:31,573
I will sue you all!
1332
01:19:31,606 --> 01:19:33,843
You leaches!
1333
01:19:33,876 --> 01:19:36,311
I didn't know about the cameras,
or I would have told you.
1334
01:19:36,345 --> 01:19:38,580
I feel awful.
1335
01:19:38,613 --> 01:19:40,883
Yeah. Me, too.
1336
01:19:40,916 --> 01:19:47,089
You know, it's not even the fact
that I got fired that I'm upset
about.
1337
01:19:47,122 --> 01:19:50,225
It's not even the fact
that we have to go
1338
01:19:50,259 --> 01:19:52,394
take this entire department
in front of a jury
1339
01:19:52,427 --> 01:19:54,864
and talk about
our dirty laundry.
1340
01:19:54,897 --> 01:19:55,931
That's not even what it is.
1341
01:19:55,965 --> 01:19:56,598
You know what it is ?
1342
01:19:56,631 --> 01:19:58,433
What ?
1343
01:19:58,467 --> 01:20:01,570
The fact that we're never going
to catch that peeping Tom.
1344
01:20:04,473 --> 01:20:08,010
We were so close.
We were this close you know ?
1345
01:20:08,043 --> 01:20:10,846
It just drives me crazy.
1346
01:20:10,880 --> 01:20:13,448
I feel like...
1347
01:20:13,482 --> 01:20:15,250
There's just one
more thing.
1348
01:20:15,284 --> 01:20:18,453
Just one more thing!
1349
01:20:18,487 --> 01:20:20,089
Wait a minute.
1350
01:20:20,122 --> 01:20:21,423
Wait a minute!
1351
01:20:32,134 --> 01:20:35,871
Good god! Great scots!
1352
01:20:35,905 --> 01:20:39,174
By George, look!
1353
01:20:47,516 --> 01:20:48,984
Huh ?
1354
01:20:59,428 --> 01:21:01,430
Keep packing! I want you
out of here in an hour!
1355
01:21:06,701 --> 01:21:08,337
What ? What ?
1356
01:21:08,370 --> 01:21:09,571
What ?
1357
01:21:09,604 --> 01:21:12,407
David:
Well, Mr. Mayor, sir.
1358
01:21:12,441 --> 01:21:14,543
What ? What ?
1359
01:21:19,448 --> 01:21:21,183
Naughty, naughty.
1360
01:21:21,216 --> 01:21:23,118
Shame, shame,
shame.
1361
01:21:25,687 --> 01:21:29,158
Well, Mr. Mayor...
1362
01:21:29,191 --> 01:21:31,393
Look familiar ?
1363
01:21:31,426 --> 01:21:32,995
I bet it does.
1364
01:21:33,028 --> 01:21:35,630
Because it's is the face
that you see every morning
1365
01:21:35,664 --> 01:21:36,999
when you look
in the mirror.
1366
01:21:37,032 --> 01:21:37,832
There must be
some mistake.
1367
01:21:37,866 --> 01:21:40,369
Oh yeah. You know what
the mistake is ?
1368
01:21:40,402 --> 01:21:43,305
You!
1369
01:21:43,338 --> 01:21:46,241
May-maybe we can
work something out.
1370
01:21:46,275 --> 01:21:48,310
Yeah. I've got a bone
to pick with you.
1371
01:21:49,544 --> 01:21:51,146
Nice legs.
1372
01:21:53,115 --> 01:21:57,619
Don't try to butter me up
by being nice!
1373
01:21:57,652 --> 01:22:00,122
All right, then.
1374
01:22:00,155 --> 01:22:02,724
Take him where
the sun don't shine.
1375
01:22:02,757 --> 01:22:05,727
Third cell on the left.
1376
01:22:05,760 --> 01:22:07,462
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
1377
01:22:07,496 --> 01:22:09,464
See ya!
1378
01:22:09,498 --> 01:22:11,100
Gotta go!
1379
01:22:11,133 --> 01:22:13,102
Call my attorney.
1380
01:22:35,290 --> 01:22:39,428
Everybody, I'd like
to officially welcome
lieutenant Mary Mae.
1381
01:22:42,397 --> 01:22:44,633
Very nice.
Very nice. Thank you.
1382
01:22:44,666 --> 01:22:46,268
She's going to be leaving
internal affairs
1383
01:22:46,301 --> 01:22:48,237
and joining us
as our new head of vice.
1384
01:22:48,270 --> 01:22:49,304
Wow!
All right!
1385
01:22:49,338 --> 01:22:51,406
Where the hell's
Clifford anyway ?
1386
01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:54,509
Well it seems the boy
had to turn in his badge.
1387
01:23:01,416 --> 01:23:03,085
Well, as of today,
1388
01:23:03,118 --> 01:23:06,755
officer caroll will be
my new right-hand man.
1389
01:23:09,124 --> 01:23:11,060
And officer Hamilton will be
my new left-hand man.
1390
01:23:20,502 --> 01:23:24,706
Well, anyway, just remember
what I've always said...
1391
01:23:29,511 --> 01:23:32,114
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
1392
01:23:32,147 --> 01:23:35,550
A good-- a good, uh,
there's nothing like a good--
1393
01:23:35,584 --> 01:23:38,287
right-hand--
hand-- job--
1394
01:23:38,320 --> 01:23:39,354
no, a man...
Man job ?
1395
01:23:39,388 --> 01:23:40,522
You said it was
a hand job.
1396
01:23:40,555 --> 01:23:43,458
I'm mean a right-hand man--
the job for a right-hand man.
1397
01:23:43,492 --> 01:23:44,726
The job for
a right-hand man.
1398
01:23:44,759 --> 01:23:48,263
I've got to call
my agent.
1399
01:23:48,297 --> 01:23:50,632
Time for lunch.
1400
01:23:50,665 --> 01:23:52,101
I'm going for lunch.
Corey, end this thing.
1401
01:23:54,769 --> 01:23:56,805
Good job, mate.
1402
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
98427
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