Original subtitles

[Music]

[Music]

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do

oh

oh

by the time this tape runs out i could

be dead

[ __ ]

may 6th i'm 7 10 am well please whoever

finds this tape

can you make sure it's delivered to

professor dogwood to study

look professor i want your conscience to

tell you what to do with this tape

thanks to your theories and experiments

you have created a thing

a psychopathic demented bloodlusting

flesh-eating

[ __ ] twice it's up my clapper

now

you know when it started 1837 port

arthur

you know when it's done

[Music]

um

cool you pull that stick

[Music]

um

[Music]

uh

[Applause]

[Music]

this

[Music]

um

[Music]

come on

[Music]

[Music]

great

[Music]

this is the one

[Laughter]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

oh rocky if i don't get a piss soon i'm

going to miss my britches

that'll take a minute will you

hey you fellas there's moon in the sky

i'll get soggy

oh

[Music]

yeah ain't you supposed to be in your

ah cell lot training sir ah

hang on i know the dunnies are empty

last month

got common dance orders

[Music]

wow

[Music]

oh

you won the chicken stick your chicken

[Music]

uh

[Music]

[Music]

you anything shots sound like a shooting

gallery don't use that this is my last

freaking chicken

where's feather he's going home i think

he was feeling a little flat

christ i needed that

god you've been eating asparagus did you

get them

oh so 26 the bastards have escaped

that's kevin to shaders yeah and that

went lunus

oh he's taking him along for supper

well i reckon you hate those other poor

bastards you escaped me from sarah

island

mr baxter here comes the side [ __ ]

[Music]

[Music]

stay

[Music]

[Applause]

you still worried lad jesus i could have

dropped your leg off and eat it a day

ago and you wouldn't have known a thing

about it

now got to learn to trust your fellow

inmates i

knew me reveal maryvale

maryville how does i know that name it

was a cook at hell's gate

zero island you escaped with him didn't

you

the pieman yes i assumed to recollect

that one

delicious delicious all his pies that is

most tasty especially their mutton buns

you know

he told me he used to put mutton fat

into the suit then add stranger no one

knows his whereabouts

hey i bought town i'd guess probably got

a pie shop there now

i was a fool got in the grog spilled me

guts around the tavern

and the landlords went stopped me into a

passing constable

yeah pull his arms down whopping away

he got me a score to sell there

so what happened to stores right stores

edward stores is in for stealing two

yards of lady everson's silk offcuts

you too worry man well let me see now

ah that's right it's all coming back to

me yeah eddie was bit by a snake

big long black bugger biggest snug i've

ever seen ah

tiger snake i think they call them yeah

well he only stole that silk to make

himself a cow

one of those you know

yeah he didn't stand a chance whacking

him on the ankle quick as a flash

snake that is

poor lad died in these arms

[Music]

did you ever wonder when you die what

happens in the box you lie

all goes well for about a week then your

coffin begins to

leak big green worms from our rings

flies

crawl up the spine and pop out your eyes

deliver turns sickly green

leave it like there's no use to us now

there we go on foot

if we don't get some tucker soon i fear

i'll die

you'll be making supper soon

[Music]

now i promise you

[Music]

unless you want to be shackled here

[Music]

forever

[Music]

not awakening always [ __ ] mate you just

let your old accomplice knows if you'll

be wanting to rest

don't have you turn on me now

so storage was bit more a snake you see

a toilet snake he says cavendish

big long black back the biggest snack

i've ever seen

see you lad i get them snakes and some

soldiers we've got to worry about

now see that there it's the rock pits

got a day and night to watch for

absconders the likes of you and me

and that's the only way off this god

forsaken peninsula

all right what's this stupid name give

me an holding out of me

stick out your tongue stick it out

i'll be damned you brown biscuit you

didn't share it

you take it we only had the one i was

gonna harvard with you

i swear by my man's grave my wife

[Music]

okay terry what is the sharpest thing in

the world

a fart a fart yeah yeah it goes right

through your britches without leaving a

hole

what was that what thought i heard the

noise

must have been one of those one of those

pudderoos

potter what you mean a kangaroo

hell oh hang in there sydney doctor

will have that ingrown toenail out in

the dippy hey did i tell you the one

that major

peacock told me

about dave and the [ __ ] well

there was a young fella called dave who

kept that dead [ __ ] in a cave

he said i admit she's as smelly as [ __ ]

but thicker than money i was played

that's three idiots not at the guard

house it's fine all right then there's

four idiots not at the guard house we'll

go through now while it's short well now

you can wait till their soldiers come

back probably with others

i've got eyes in the back of my head

lunas

ah loonish me old mate what i'll go

ahead will you

i'm just gonna drop back a bit make sure

them soldiers don't turn back here

you must think of him stupid no i'm not

a fool

did you hear that what what

he still don't trust me i'm sorry

cavendish i

i do trust you i supposed

[Music]

me

ah fresh meat at last

okay

money

[Applause]

what's up

[Music]

[Music]

so

[Music]

ah

[Music]

[Music]

uh

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[Music]

okay

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um

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oh

you're all right robert

corbett corbett take it easy take it

easy you are now back in 1945.

i mean 95. oh

brilliant amazing you're a genius

professor dog rooter i have

one dog right there sorry dog reuter

of course i'm the genius flow line so my

talk conquers again

bless you i must confess i had my doubts

would ever get this body far was it the

same as before i was just cavendish

you spoke of the lunas and uh what you

said

the cook called the department

[Music]

maryland or the

well i felt better it's a video monday

pack find it back find the pack

panic back buddy

i don't know why i do that now they're

very

oh yeah that's when you freaked out

somewhere you encountered man traps but

there

there there there there there now slow

down professor

it was at the rock pits yeah duncan baby

it's all on tape where do you see this

yeah you escaped from the camp

you even told us the date your rank

serial number 1837

we can concentrate everyone i hope

how do you stop this thing

whoops this is scary you seems any scary

i show you scary

i hope you got heaps for your thesis hey

i've got piles

perhaps i can help your business problem

this looks like bloody good proof of

reincarnation to me

i mean if it's not i'm jack the ripper

hmm i'm not sure about this

reincarnation

i have another theory sorry professor

after all the discussions we've had

seriously that was the brainwave yeah

but if it's not reincarnation would you

mind telling me what the bloody hell it

is

certainly good old-fashioned juicy body

fluids

[Laughter]

come again exactly how you say spoof

spoon yeah

first we have the male sperm

complete with the nucleus yeah the

female egg

is larger this nucleus nestled in this

great mass of

cytoplasm orgasm

cytoplasm yeah the jelly stuff you learn

about that in biology surely

exactly cycloplasm full of

microcontraia a battery if you like to

store the energy

the male sperm can only fertilize this

egg it does not have half the strength

of the female egg the superior race

the superior race you know it is a known

fact that the memories

and the experiences are possible in this

fashion so only from the mother

how's that experiences of the mother

only stupid

most of us have a little storage chip up

here so according to professor dee's

theory

you should be able to remember your

mother's experiences and her mothers and

her mothers hey prof

i get it and your grandmother's mother

jesus the king of wallace the jews do

not mention the name around me again

isn't it

so you're trying to say that corbett's

experiences under hypnosis

of like his ancestors experiences

i do not know why we skipped a few

generations but i guess is this

cavendish fellow's past

was so horrific that we cannot possibly

comprehend exactly wait a sec

wait a sec don't tell me you reckon this

bloke cavendish was my ancestor

[ __ ] bullseye yeah now i know you're

barking up the wrong tree

i mean we've got godfrey bishop wiggins

and gunva blood but no cavendish

what not girl how do you know for sure

i'm bloody sure right

well it's an interesting theory but

where do we go from here professor dog

dog dog hunter

now comforts me to the chamber

library

look up have a dish you check this one

for star wars

merry vile these are the records of also

christmas of war

i mean it's a convict kept at health

gates

who likes that name that's where you

escape from first you mean cavendish

escape yeah yeah all the same

i take this for [ __ ] cavendish

jesus he's got a whole chapter on

himself i knew it i knew it i knew it i

knew it and

i knew it let me see listen to this

there was never any hard evidence that

cavendish murdered and ate the other

escapees

however historians are quick to point

out that he did indeed devour the brains

of fellow absconder matthew lunas

his accomplice in the port arthur escape

in june 1837

after killing all four guards at the

rock pits he vanished into history

wicked yeah wicked

christ he was real i told you once and i

won't tell you again

do not bring the jews into this now

we have like to do back to the council

kevin is finished into history right

well that's exactly what we're gonna do

half an hour sorry prof uh 20 minutes

you can spam i still 20 minutes aren't

you

tomorrow i promise it's his mum's

expecting us your mum yeah my mum

like promised there to drop some books

off 13 minutes not the second less i can

do it in 15 yeah

oh [ __ ]

[Music]

come in mum won't bite you excuse me

a cave of a six-headed acid spitting

circle

oh wait you can't hide out here every

time why not

we've been together for seven months mum

will start thinking you're just using me

for a chauffeur

so look she's really anxious to meet you

i'd rather meet genghis khan it'll only

take a moment

look i spoke to your mother on the phone

once she was armed and poised to strike

the only thing that saved my ass that

day was five kilometers of phone wire

what are you man or mouse

lock the car

[ __ ] i forgot mom's books

[Music]

remy

[Music]

ruby you're late sorry mum

finally dragged corbett along for you to

meet back off

got your books at last

sorry mum we were held up at professor

dog reuters he's doing an experiment

now that's a good question i'll just go

back now and lock myself there you won't

come here

yes but i'm not deaf

it's one of mum's favorites

see i bought in lamingtons i even bar

you let me down again your poor old

mother always comes last nowadays

oh wow archery don't touch that either

they were fathers he was an australian

champion

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

yeah i told you that father went to

south australia it was over 10 years ago

to help a friend open up an emu farm i

warned him not to go

he went off one day with forbes shorts

looking for a roguini that had wandered

off the body was never failed

my husband

[Music]

that's terrible here's your books mother

what did you say nothing

mum i really wish you'd have that scene

too what the [ __ ] was that

oh my god

what's the matter you never seen a

tapeworm before jesus ruby not like that

mum tell me what books you like and i'll

get them for you it's really hard to

find something you haven't already read

look would you like another mills and

blue you know those romance books you

enjoy

romance that'd be right that's all you

people can think about

[Music]

oh yeah sorry mrs jekyll stein you can't

stand your barbarian

ruby and i are going to go out for a

feed tonight

we're the lucky ones you'll never take

me out

i'd love to go to dinner but nobody

cares about mother another now you know

that's not true

[Music]

but mom's had a rough time but since the

old man died

and she's really embarrassed about that

so don't tell anyone for god's sake

what's with the wheelchair anyway the

mum took dad's accident badly

oh yeah fair enough no i mean really

badly

she tried to kill herself really

seriously

she swallowed caustic soda caustic

[ __ ] i'd kill anything oh i mean anybody

yeah well not mother

so you've got to understand that mum

couldn't bear to be without dad

so she drank the caustic soda and fell

head first down the front steps

the fall shattering her skull anyway the

next door neighbors heard the fuss and

called an ambulance

and um they pumped their stomach and

saved her life but she suffered a severe

stroke ah the wheelchair right

exactly now she has a china plate to

protect her brain and her gravelly voice

from the asset so that's why she wears

the bandages yeah

well what about the what

you know the other worm yeah your mum

discovered that awful thing when she

came home from the royal hobart hospital

they blamed the atrocious food god i'm

hungry

you really believe all this crap

wish i'd been there rube i find that

kind of thing awfully interesting

she'd believe anything i saw a

documentary once

this fellow reckoned he was taken by an

alien skinny devils with big almond eyes

an abduction yeah they call greys or

what

grays the aliens are called greys i'll

draw one

anyway he regressed under hypnosis just

like corbett was

and he was sick don't forget the purple

and orange dots

they look something like this

what i'm doing for my thesis is a bit

more interesting you see corbett

described in detail what we read later

in the history books

you sure you didn't read the books first

jesus

fish we didn't know anything about this

cavendish bloke until later on

send it back you ordered that well done

superb never enjoyed steak more

what are you doing i'm enjoying this

let's stay in the craze cool but we

slaughtered cattle every day at the

abattoir and now you're eating the

bloody stuff raw

that's cooked sort of

brilliantly i am drying it all right

let me show you ain't this cavendish

black at least eat with your mouth

closed

anyway rube tell me more about your

thesis well this cavendish but

you're familiar with whopping in hobart

town whopping i reckon

i've got a b for history yeah [ __ ]

he escaped back in the 1830s

this old car is my life i do this

every day there's bucket loads of this

year [ __ ]

i have the cart away but somebody's

gotta do it

it's a bloody pitch picking up

it's just for you

this

[Music]

that's what i do picking up people's

food

is moisture too picking up people's food

oh poo poo that's what i do picking up

people's poo

poo poo it's just for you

[Music]

[Music]

yummy

beautiful french

[Music]

today

my god

what seems to be the problem

i hope you have insurance

[Applause]

[Applause]

damn rodent cheeky little lighter

that's what you get for not paying your

rent

this is all i've got left so you can

have it for six months a week

take it or leave it

i'll take it two weeks now if you'd be

so kind

if you'd be anyone particular mister

oh merchant

come here to do business in wappi

so if you wouldn't be minded of course

if you want anything you know uh visuals

or may i be so bold just to suggest

we play hide the sausage just let me

know

winnie who knows where i can be had

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

so

ruby's all right you all right

oh christ you stink

nice greeting that is

oh was

good ah you want to turn around

oh enough of that said

ah let's match off into history

what is that schmidt

geez professor this stuff looks like

it's grown

hey what's this ah just a research

covert now

on the couch now where will we start

from professor

it's the beginning of our line all face

at the beginning

i want you to follow the watch

and as you follow the watch you will

feel yourself drifting

deeper and deeper feeling more

and more relaxed with every

last press

now call but you can hear me here

this is professor dog reuter

i'm going to take you back back many

many years now yeah

back to when you were six years old you

can do that isn't it

yes what are you doing

they come around the corner now big kids

are leaving comfort for the rail

it's all right now

i want you to go back to when you were a

baby and subscribe

can you do that for me can you remember

when you were a baby

cute v little baby yeah

what are you doing

account for mommy

you are doing fine colbert now i want

you to concentrate

i'm going to take you back to your birth

back to your mother's room back

back before you were even born even

[Music]

back

[Music]

[Music]

shut up

[Music]

ah

[Music]

now i'm going to clap my hands and when

i do you will return

to present

well well i reckon it's irresponsible

i mean we don't really know what's going

on here

a moment ago you murdered some woman

murdered some woman

seriously just whop some poor woman's

head off oh

excellent no it's all becoming a bit

much this hypnosis thing

i mean it's not you corbett it's like

we've unleashed some monster

kevin's a show and that's another thing

we don't know where corwick's mind goes

to

i mean it could be the devil in hell for

all we know

now that would be interesting

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

i can't believe you ate your chops like

that

corbett

i forget it

[Applause]

[Music]

oh

no

caroline robert guess what guess what

i found the attic i'm not sure whether

that's a good thing

whatever oh

remember are you all right

oh yeah yeah i'm fine it's just scratch

well don't dilly dally get your coats we

go now yeah

now yeah now like your master churchill

once said

no time lights are passed what's that

homie

you can feel it aren't you what the coal

it's a history phone line

it's a gory past not as gory as

auschwitz but

yeah yeah i'm as interested in history

as anyone but can't we come back in

daylight

and missy how should they send party

you've got the key

yeah the agent is an old friend of mine

how on earth did you find this place

as far as i know it was devastated by

fire with the rest of the volpe in 1890

then after our second meeting cavendish

mentioned the pool's arms he lived here

in this attic a few doors from the table

attributed to your archives and located

the original beer house so this place

survived the great fire

yeah i could only verify this because

the arcade still has the original

registers from that time

this is what he saw haha how could you

possibly guess the name

vinnie muffet vinnie who's hey not

vinnie

vinnie you stupid woman who's she

ah she was a landlady the owner of this

yeah

this is still the original building

remaining from that period

bloody amazing air cover it's haunted

you know

oh that's it i'm out of here i don't

know how many murders to display

from what i can ascertain five five

here the army i'm gonna five or women he

lived here for six months

and was lynched a few hundred meters

from here lynched

you mean yeah the arms and the legs

pulled from the joints like how you said

the

[ __ ] the chicken it's plucking

plucking oh yeah yeah plucking you

didn't tell me that

i only found out this afternoon he got

careless who murdered the tavern owner's

frontline in pitch daylight

the one that reported him to the

constables yeah why so it's impossible

he was my ancestor

that if he was lynched kaput right yeah

kaput but great there's more

don't send money we know that cavendish

murdered and ate his victims yeah

but he also liked a bit of jiggy jiggy

yeah there was a woman

the daughter of the taylor and she had

his child right pringle

little bastard girl millie fallen's name

was packet your great great great great

great grandmother

my theory of the body fluids it becomes

much convincing by the meter yeah

but how did you know millie baggett was

corbett's ancestor to execute my sinking

clearer i look into his muscles

family bush it's tree

it's family tree that way your auntie

alva told me everything under my

interrogation

talk about it with a sledgehammer so

this place has been empty since huh nine

nine it's been occupied by this one and

that

they all spoke of geese that go poof in

the 90s

it's been empty now for 40 years want to

buy it

please can we go now sails we'll have a

seance

that won't you're kidding oh sounds in

the middle of the night oh

i'll see you two in the car

are you coming

dabbling with hypnosis is one thing

right but messing about with the occult

you're both bloody crazy fish and sky

will be in it they've done it before

yeah once at home not in the haunted

attic of some lunatic

psycho come on there'll be five of us

what harm can be done

good i'll bring the beach board yeah

you're not sick i am sick oh too sick to

have a beer i notice

[ __ ] this settles me guts look we're

going to mums all right end of story

now look for a flower stall but it's

like visiting sinbad's caves

the friggin monster is real and that's

for the lamington eating bower

constrictor that

i gotta give this a go i'll get the

flowers yeah get some thistles

hi please take a seat

ah boy hey

well here i am

please give me your hand

just tell me what happened forget it so

it's just a circus point

you sure you aren't the freak me your

mother's the freak

get rid of that

[Music]

jenkenstein

[Music]

ruby told me your favorite field called

it

oh what a nice surprise room roast

tapework

yummy

[Music]

liver ah liver yeah delicious can't get

enough of the stuff

we're uh having it rare i hope don't be

just

and uh how's oliver

i'll have another lamington thanks

do you always poke fun at other people's

[Music]

disadvantages

why are you doing this to me you know he

works at the abattoirs

awful's the last thing he wants for

lunch

i don't know what you're saying do it

anyhow

[Music]

[ __ ]

[Music]

[Music]

oh

this has gone too far i'll say ourselves

what's the problem i'm worried professor

dog reuter

corbett's changed she's behaving like a

barbarian

[Applause]

it's her damn mother

i just had to get back at the old witch

you leave my mother out

she invited you over for lunch well she

said she knows

can i scream

one more session but they will have

proved basic no

no more please the thesis can go in the

too hard basket

it's not worth it on the couch on the

couch we have ourselves to perform yet

you're not still going ahead with that

absolutely

cavendish yes

you have left the lodgings where are you

now

still involving i'm at the tavern i've

got a score to settle

[Music]

hello

name your poisons

[Music]

[Music]

shadows

[Music]

looking like slaves

[Music]

there i

[Music]

[Music]

dance

[Music]

[Music]

oh

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

oh

[Music]

oh

[Music]

oh

[Music]

um

this is not right it's best left alone

damn that's my four o'clock experiment

there appointment

let's go corbett come on i see you in

something loves the night

no i don't think so professor i think we

should fine we must

start what we finished yeah yeah

oh god

you know this has been worth it i've got

heaps of fantastic material here

corbett

are you awake

[Music]

so

so

uh

who's

[Music]

hide and seek you hide and i'll be

jekyll

get out of my head

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Music]

come out and play

oh come on be a sport

so

[Music]

uh

uh

[Music]

i'm in

[Music]

[Music]

i don't know he just up and left a few

hours ago

yeah he synthetic now i think schnitzel

lane yeah we shouldn't even be doing

this well they shouldn't be doing this

[ __ ]

[Music]

oh [ __ ] with me you all witch

that's

time advanced

and i think this is going to work

you said that three hours

things

excuse me sarkozy sometimes does that to

me

do you reckon it's gonna move again

it'll be dawn soon move

twice just be patient

keep

[Music]

idiot

[Music]

you please

don't you dare use that language in my

[Music]

[Applause]

house

uh

ah

[Music]

and you would see either

[Music]

open the [ __ ] door

[Music]

yes

oh that eye does look nasty here i got a

quick pain killer for you

don't go away this won't take a jiffy

[Music]

trying to break a record

[Music]

um

[Music]

yeah your fellas must be concentrated

you have all mine dog rooter corbett

should be here that's probably half the

problem the circle's not complete

jesus one day you will pull me too far

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

hey

why did you do it to me you [ __ ] agnes

did you do this to cecil mr jenkenstein

to you

why why because you kept lettering my

stockings

if i told you once i've told you a

thousand times

don't call me a whip married your

husband because he was in the andes

he pushed me down the

[Music]

i don't know stairs think he looks

rather cute because he worked the

thought

of statistics questions questions

questions

questions how many of toilet paper do

you use on the orange

how many strainers on the pit goldfish

how many

peas did you deserve with last night's

roast

[Music]

bomb hey what's the difference between a

public servant

and a barrel of yeast i give up the

barrel against works

h-e-l-p-m-e

help me [ __ ] help me help me help me

help me help me who

ah thank you help me

[Music]

if this is your idea of a joke we're not

amused

you go first man play give away

great

ah

[Music]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

ah

oh

daddy

[Music]

my

[Music]

[Music]

two

[Music]

uh you delivered that large pepperoni to

21 grave in the street yet uh

they're getting a bit towie over

jesus corbett

[Music]

mom

mom

oh god

morning

[Music]

happy birthday dear ruby happy birthday

to you untie me

untie me what have you done to my mother

hello slack chair coming you'll hang for

this

untie me and prick now that's no way to

talk to the old mate corbin

especially since i prepared your yummy

birthday dinner

it's not my [ __ ] birthday

oh god

well don't be shy talking

well i would if i could but i'm kind of

tied up

golly gosh rube that's silly of me

right-handed if my memory serves me

correctly

now it's epoxy [ __ ]

oh

go

[Music]

uh

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

good

[Applause]

well

[Music]

so

[Music]

ah

your numbers up [ __ ]

uh car number six uh 21 gravina street

said that you can stick that pepperoni

up your ass over

how far you go love all the way lover

[Music]

so

[Music]

so

so

[Music]

so

[Music]

[Music]

hey

[Music]

okay

[Music]

[Laughter]

oh

you