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1
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:14,394
And we are
Kicking footballs in America
2
00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:18,235
We are going crazy
With support for the lads
3
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:22,314
We are kicking footballs
In New York City
4
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,073
Sorry, are you here for a viewing?
5
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,232
Michael & Eagle Lettings.
Nope, no-one's in.
6
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,630
Oh, is it OK if I wear...
I've got football kit on.
7
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,313
Underneath.
So I hope that's not annoying.
8
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,471
I've got an inter-agency
football sort of thing after this.
9
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,358
No, it's cool man.
I've just come from the gym,
10
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,875
had a little sesh,
so we're both a bit sporty.
11
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,349
We are a bit sporty.
12
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,357
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
13
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,239
In the middle of that you went,
erm, "Had a little sesh".
14
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:49,958
Love things like that.
15
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,792
I always want to say things like that.
16
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,199
Sorry. Unfortunately there's not,
like, a lot of space on the floor
17
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,556
to do sort of exercises
and workout stuff.
18
00:00:58,640 --> 00:00:59,835
But there's, like, quite a big bed
19
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,474
so you can do plenty
of exercises in the bed and, yeah.
20
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,870
-(CHUCKLES)
- Yeah.
21
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,314
What sort of exercises do you mean?
22
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,113
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
23
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:11,994
I dunno.
24
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,469
I mean, that's basically
everything you need to see.
25
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,358
Erm, well, we haven't
seen this cupboard.
26
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,193
Yeah, good quality, erm. (CLEARS THROAT)
27
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,350
Yeah, we'lljust quickly... A quick...
28
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,315
A quick lift.
29
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,439
- Mate.
- STATH: Ah, well.
30
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,952
- Don't do that, mate.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,077
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
32
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
33
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,359
STATH: Al!
34
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,239
Keepy uppy, keepy uppy
35
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,994
- We're keeping the ball in the air!
- We're keeping the ball in the air!
36
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,515
- Gangsta!
-(LAUGHS)
37
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,079
- Bad boy!
- What you doing?
38
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,958
Just moving Smethwicks' bin back.
39
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:15,599
They think they're the God damn
council or something.
40
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:16,909
STATH: What's Carole
doing with Smethwicks?
41
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:17,990
Drinking bloody sparkling water.
42
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,913
Oh, that's lovely. You can't really
glug it though, can you?
43
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,038
Er, are you playing for drug addicts
united now, instead of us?
44
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,111
I'll see you later.
Thanks for the water.
45
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,316
- Yeah.
- JULIAN: See you later, Caz.
46
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,390
- Stathi!
- STATH: Yeah?
47
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,800
- Ready for the match?
- Yeah?
48
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,156
Seriously in that kit,
you look like Cristiano Ronaldo.
49
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,709
Yeah, get ready because I'm gonna
make you both look like
50
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,950
young fish on the pitch tonight.
51
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,077
Yeah, do you know what, I'd love
to have a coffee with you sometime.
52
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,275
I'd love that.
53
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,557
I'll pour coffee on the football tonight
and then kick it at your mouth
54
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,039
and then win the game.
55
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,950
- JULIAN: What you doing with your leg?
- I'm getting the...
56
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,519
-(CAR HORN HONKS)
- AL: I'll get it!
57
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:55,475
Sick!
58
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,278
Stathi. Don't talk
to these bloody muppets.
59
00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,670
Oh, my God hejust called you
bloody muppets, cussed.
60
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,239
Afternoon, Vasos. Nice hoodie.
61
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,277
See you at the match, yeah?
Mum says hi.
62
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:04,873
Tellyour mum I don't say hi.
63
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,836
STATH: My dad keeps cussing you, bruv.
64
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,319
Al, careful of the cars!
65
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,193
What? Why you answering?
66
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,509
You don't... You live with me.
67
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,750
Katia lives here.
My friend from college.
68
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:26,955
Really nice one.
69
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,077
What that foreign girl?
She's a tenant at Michael & Eagle?
70
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,276
She's helping me
make half time snacks and treats.
71
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:32,919
We're actually having a real laugh.
72
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,638
Right where's the hole
you want polyfilling?
73
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:35,994
You know Katia, innit?
74
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,309
STATH: Yeah. All right, Katia.
Where's the hole?
75
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,720
I wanna get out of here.
76
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,473
Katia wanted to ask you something...
77
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,716
(NERVOUSLY) Yeah, I was gonna ask
78
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,189
if you wanted to go for a drink?
79
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,157
No. Where's the hole
that needs polyfillin'?
80
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,993
There isn't a hole.
81
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,549
We got you here
so she could ask you out.
82
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,996
Oh, that is terrible trickery!
83
00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:59,559
The blame lies with me.
84
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,150
So you two are makin' snacks,
yeah, for half time?
85
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,234
Yum. What you making?
86
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,596
Well, yeah, actually
it's a surprise, yeah?
87
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:14,799
But we are planning a surprise dance
for half time entertainments.
88
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,109
Oh, my God.
89
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,077
- So, you know, like, YouTube.
- Yeah.
90
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,879
Where they go to the train station
and surprise everyone?
91
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:21,950
And everyone's like,
92
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,475
-"Oh, my God they're dancing."
- So shocking.
93
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,358
And what sort of kind of dance is it?
94
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,431
It's about thejoys of being alive.
95
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,350
Christ.
96
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,469
Right, OK, well,
I need to polyfilly something for Dad.
97
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,834
So do you have anything broken?
98
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:37,914
Erm, the fridge.
99
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,116
I actually called
someone about it last week.
100
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,233
It smells very tragic.
101
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,550
I can't polyfiller a fridge, can I?
102
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:45,789
Right, this'll do.
103
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,557
OK, now, it's your responsibility
to paint over that you sneaky sod.
104
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,233
Draggin' me over here.
Do you have a drink or anything?
105
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,594
I need to get refreshing for football.
106
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:54,909
Oh, are you watchin'?
107
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,399
No, I'm playin'. Kickin'.
108
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,312
Ah, Dad said you weren't on the team.
109
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,960
What? No. Yes, I am. Shut up...
110
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,997
Ugh, the stink from it!
111
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,477
This is loony tunes, man!
Why don't you want me on the team?
112
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,550
It's my team.
113
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,756
I've got such a strong presence
at the tournament, man.
114
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,831
Darling, I'm sorry,
it's nice if you don't play.
115
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,831
You can watch Dean play,
he's marvellous.
116
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,150
I can't see how that's nice.
117
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:18,594
Why do you even want to play?
118
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,035
Last year you were just chatting
on the pitch in every game, mingling.
119
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,872
What I'm not allowed to talk in a match?
120
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,075
I was just havin' a few chats.
121
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,071
That's what football's
all about innit, the chin-wag.
122
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,912
Who has a chin-wag when they're running?
123
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,071
Oh, shush off.
Who else is on the team then?
124
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,673
There's only four players here.
125
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,479
The dream team, innit!
Me, Marcus, Carole,
126
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,278
- Al and Phil Khoo.
- Right.
127
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,714
What? Who's Phil Khoo?
128
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,076
Sorry, yeah, he's a friend of mine
from church in Yarmouth.
129
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,753
He said he fancied a kickabout.
130
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,799
I do fancy it too! Keenly!
Is he even a letting agent?
131
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:46,915
No, he's a chemist.
132
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,116
Oh, my gilly goodness.
133
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,635
So, you want Phil Khoo
bloody sprinkling pills everywhere,
134
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,040
but you don't want this raw skill?
135
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,398
That was bare shit.
136
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,437
I could swap with you, Stath,
I don't mind not playing.
137
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,431
No, you're lanky.
You're goalie.
138
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:07,510
Stath says you got skill anyway.
139
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,399
I stand by that, the team
would suffer greatly without Al.
140
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,551
But let me swap with someone else.
I'm excellent!
141
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,315
Just don't be on the team,
and let the team be good.
142
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:17,629
- Everything hunky daisy, now?
- No!
143
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:18,869
I want you to give me the money back
144
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,758
for these Michael & Eagle
shirts you made my buy.
145
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:25,198
Enough. Soon I retire, OK?
It's my last one.
146
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:28,272
I want us to bloody
beat Smethwicks, mate. OK?
147
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,475
Yeah, I wanna beat Smethwicks too!
148
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,154
Julian bloody smacked me
in the chops last week!
149
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,073
Why's Carole on the team?
She kisses Smethwicks every day!
150
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,515
I don't kiss anyone every day,
thank you, that's horrible.
151
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,352
When I'm gone,
you can do anything you want.
152
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,669
Be the striker defender.
153
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,036
I want to be striker
or defender now. (SCOFFS)
154
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:44,989
OK.
155
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,878
Be substitute.
If someone gets sick.
156
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,394
Stop whacking me.
157
00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:51,709
Look forward to missing out on...
158
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,591
Al, even though I'm feeling picked upon,
159
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,240
I hope you know I still wish you all
the very best of luck
160
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:03,515
in the world in the match.
161
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:09,157
Oh, wow, thank you,
Stath, that's very kind.
162
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,439
And God, I wish you so much luck
163
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,797
in getting a chance
to go out on the pitch
164
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,633
and showcase
your incredible skills and talent.
165
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,634
Thank you, Al. That means
the world and his wife to me.
166
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:25,995
And, I erm,
heard you are doing a dance, Sophie.
167
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,196
- What?
- So I want to wish you the best of luck
168
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:32,399
-with that as well.
- Oh, my God, thank you.
169
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,959
God, yes, I wish that too.
170
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,554
I wanna see
my sis shine bright for me.
171
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,551
We were actually saying earlier
that we did want
172
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,029
-to shine bright, actually.
- Shine bright.
173
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,431
Erm, it might be nice if someone
wishes Katia good luck in the dance.
174
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,193
- Oh, God. Good luck Katia.
- No, I don't want to.
175
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,679
Thank you very much.
176
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,478
-(KNOCK ON WINDOW)
- Stath, it's been 20 minutes.
177
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,551
Al's got to get changed.
178
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,756
I'm allowed to wish
my friends the very best of luck.
179
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,638
Did you find a team to join, Stath?
180
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,677
What about Chigby Estate?
They look more your bag.
181
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,751
You're the one who's a bag, mate.
182
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,717
- Who's that? Is that Phil Khoo?
- AL: Yeah, I think so.
183
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,473
Oh, yeah, he's a chemist,
184
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,995
he gave me them creams
when I fell asleep against the radiator.
185
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,311
Don't speak fondly of him, OK?
I'm gonna tell him to sod off the team.
186
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:10,913
And if he says no I'm gonna duck him up.
187
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,593
- Al, you in?
- No.
188
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,000
I can duck him up.
189
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,400
All right I'm Stath,
we haven't met.
190
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,198
- Hi, Phil.
- Khoo, exactly, yeah.
191
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,271
Erm, basically I wanna play.
192
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,159
So I'm gonna play instead of you,
er, on the team.
193
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,275
Very kindly?
194
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,636
What? Well, I'm already here so...
195
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:26,755
Sorry.
196
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,470
- What are you doing?
- I don't know, do I?
197
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,073
That's not the point, Phil.
198
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,155
Oh, silver, very clever.
199
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,633
CAROLE: Oh, my God.
They look so profesh.
200
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,119
They look like cabin crew.
201
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,230
STATH: Dickheads.
CAROLE: Stunning.
202
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,152
What, they playin' in their suits?
203
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,594
Gimme these, I wanna chuck some oranges.
204
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,000
Nah, they're refreshments.
205
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,310
- What are we not gonna do nothin'?
- What you doing? What you?
206
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,720
Christ. No, no, one kick is enough.
One kick...
207
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,671
Oh, my God why... Don't chase me.
208
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,119
Yeah, today was mad.
I barely had time for lunch.
209
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,555
I was, like, "I don't care. I've bought
sushi, I'm just going to eat it."
210
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,960
I sawyou do that.
211
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,236
Yeah, no, well, yeah, I'd be like that.
I love sushi, actually.
212
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,834
But I like it a bit cooked.
Or just some hot cod.
213
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,594
Stop flirting about cod.
Say something rude to them.
214
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,239
Oi, oi, oi, bickering.
215
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,993
Today's a proper football match, yeah?
216
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:31,991
Or there's a crazy golf round
the corner if that's more your vibe.
217
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,672
I beg someone put me on any other team.
218
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,558
- Oop, hello, mate.
- We...
219
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,395
Yeah, I was saying...
220
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,791
We're gonna score goals
into your bloody net, mate.
221
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,951
Yeah, that's great, then we can go
for a drink after though yeah?
222
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,838
Stop offering me drinks
in these situations.
223
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,957
Why are you running
in the middle of an argument?
224
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,758
Is there actually
a crazy golf near here?
225
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,877
I've been scouring the web
for somewhere to take the kids.
226
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,114
- Are you nervous?
- Yeah.
227
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,679
This is some very thrilling shit, man.
228
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,876
Oh, Christ, I'm sorry,
I thought this was the boys', sorry.
229
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,998
Oh, no, it is, sorry.
Just the girls' was too tiny.
230
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,718
Our dance is very big and free.
231
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,155
So we needed very big
free space to practise.
232
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,675
So I... Yeah, I'll just get changed.
233
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,158
Is Stath getting changed too?
234
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,993
Katia, you're well naughty, innit?
235
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,798
Rapscallion.
236
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,549
So you gonna go post match drinks, Al?
237
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,278
Er, yeah, maybe.
238
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,078
It's a long trek back
to Birmingham so...
239
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,595
- Why are you going to Birmingham?
- Oh, I live there.
240
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:38,196
Yeah. You know, the rent prices
here were just crazy,
241
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:42,433
so I, yeah,just get on the coach
from Birmingham every morning.
242
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,557
- It's killing me.
- That's long, man.
243
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:45,994
Tomoko thinks I'm crazy.
244
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,078
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
245
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,438
SOPHIE: Ooh, Al!
246
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,750
Do you want us to go? We could leave?
247
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,878
Oh, fine thanks,
whatever's cool, cool with you.
248
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,758
- Katia, come on.
- I saw everything.
249
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,234
- Leave it.
- STATH: Give me it.
250
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,391
Watch, watch I'll show you.
251
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:11,754
Grow up.
252
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,276
See? You wanna get
your practice in... No, listen to me.
253
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:17,870
(CHEERING)
254
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,635
Oh, yeah, Julian!
255
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,916
Not very good! Sorry.
256
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,354
- See me score?
- That's my boy.
257
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,192
JULIAN: See that Mum?
258
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,918
I'll get another one for you.
259
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,991
Yeah. That's my boy.
260
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,071
How's business, Vasos?
How's your son?
261
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,434
Fabulous.
262
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,595
You don't want to ask about Smethwicks?
Or my son?
263
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,069
No, I don't want to ask
Julian or Smethwicks.
264
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,197
- Why not?
- Because I know already.
265
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,429
What do you know?
266
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,272
I know that they are both a shitbag.
267
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:47,875
JULIAN: Yes!
268
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,793
OK, it's Chigby Estate.
269
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,474
It's gonna be embarrassing if we lose,
they've been munching chips all morning.
270
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,837
So let's keep it tight,
two at the back, me in the hole,
271
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,354
Carole up top, she's the target.
272
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,477
Yes, and all the goals
must go in the goals.
273
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,234
Yes, and I'm gonna be shouting
advice from the sidelines,
274
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,357
'cause I can see the whole pitch.
So keep an ear out for that.
275
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,239
And let's keep...
Let's get back onto the... Yeah, go!
276
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,391
Dean! Get really into it Dean!
277
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,630
(CHEERING)
278
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,472
Ref, the man in the goal
touched the ball.
279
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,756
Skip the ball down the way.
280
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,433
ALL: Yes!
281
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:22,275
Have a word ref, have a word ref.
Goal from the centre.
282
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,034
- Al, Al, I'm a bit bored.
-(WHISTLE BLOWS)
283
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,839
What? Don't blow at me!
I'm trying to talk to my friend.
284
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,239
DEAN: Go on Phil!
285
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,390
ALL: Yes!
286
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,631
DEAN: Stath, get off the pitch man.
287
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,394
I come on to celebrate
as part of my family team.
288
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,393
Shut up!
You look like a yellow card innit.
289
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:44,312
- Al, did you hear that?
- Oh, sorry.
290
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,913
What's been your best bit
so far of the game?
291
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,320
I think it's probably...
292
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,313
Stathis! Don't bother
Alastair, let him play!
293
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:53,552
Careful, Al, oh, dear.
Get this one. Get this one.
294
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,074
I got it! Oh, saved!
295
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,151
Saved!
Can I do the next goal kick?
296
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,072
- I'm just... I'm not sure I should.
- Please?
297
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,390
Yes! Who wants it?
298
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,517
It looks like bloody
Aunty Nora's tea party here.
299
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,318
Passion, passion, passion!
300
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,118
Fuck's sake, Phil Koo, that was you!
301
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,953
Come on... It's a fucking corner!
There's a minute left!
302
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,270
Does anyone give a shit
about clean sheets except me?
303
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,874
Get down here!
Nobody's shitting in my bed!
304
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,156
My sheet's clean!
Marcus! Over there!
305
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,278
Al! Al? If we win this are we in
the final against Smethwicks?
306
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,680
Er, yeah. I think so? Why?
307
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,319
- Phil!
- So we're only playing two games?
308
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,552
That's the whole thing?
I haven't even had a go.
309
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:29,630
Carole!
310
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,996
Should I foul...
Al should I foul Phil Khoo? Al?
311
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,470
Keeper's!
312
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,073
-(CRUNCH)
-(SCREAMING)
313
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,151
It was Phil Khoo!
That was Phil Khoo.
314
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,275
I saw the incident. Are you OK?
315
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,239
What? Go home Katia,
I just crumbled my best friend's hand!
316
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,436
CAROLE: Ref. Red. Red!
STATH: Go home!
317
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:56,718
Oh, my lesion! That is...
Your hand is looking so bad now, man.
318
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,158
Am I subbed on?
'Cause Al can't play.
319
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,914
- Fine, you can play.
- Yes!
320
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,513
But don't play too much.
321
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,955
It's nice to look at the ball,
you don't need to touch it.
322
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,872
Yes! What?
323
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,871
I don't want to give him
a surprise of a lifetime.
324
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:16,078
I know. But come on,
we've got to do this now.
325
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:20,040
Yeah? Come on, if you wanna dance
the life you've got to live it.
326
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,191
This is ridiculous.
Why's he being rewarded?
327
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,157
Have you seen Al's hand?
It's like a claw.
328
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,437
Are you trying to turn my dad
and my friend against me now? Witch!
329
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,158
What? I'll put a curse on you then.
330
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,595
Come on, everyone!
It's party time.
331
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,353
Let's go crazy tonight!
332
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,430
Oh, what a shock!
333
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,478
Put your hands in the air
if you like surprises and shocks.
334
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,437
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
335
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,350
Whoo!
336
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,114
Come on
337
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,837
Yeah, yeah
338
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:02,392
Yeah, I wanna have a good time
339
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,878
Yeah, I wanna have
A good time with you
340
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:17,311
Yeah, I wanna have a good time
341
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,792
I wanna have a good time with you
342
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,679
It's done. Whoo!
343
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,073
Clap, you bloody eggs!
344
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,039
It was a disgrace.
The music was like a whisper!
345
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,714
You weren't even
happy-go-lucky, Katia, man!
346
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,120
I was trying to bejolly!
347
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,032
It's not my fault
your brother shout at me to death!
348
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,195
Oh! Your hand looks like a rat!
349
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,918
Ew.
350
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,879
It's fine. I'm going to hospital now.
351
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,792
I could come with you.
352
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,154
Katia's biffing me off.
353
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,878
Al. I got on the team!
354
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,109
Fantastic.
355
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,395
STATH: Can I have your t-shirt?
356
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:03,791
Where is your respect?
You had me, and then you lost me.
357
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,832
Julian, watch your back, innit,
I'm playing, I'll foulyour head off!
358
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,479
Mate, why have you got
your work shoes on?
359
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,074
Er... (TUTTING)
360
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,150
For grip.
361
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,799
OK, Stath, you call it, mate.
Heads or tails?
362
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:19,950
I don't care. I don't...
363
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,758
I've never known what that means.
What does it mean?
364
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,035
Heads. He's an idiot.
365
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,912
It's heads.
Let's have a good game.
366
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,877
Oh, we will have a good game.
367
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,270
DEAN: Stath! Stath!
VASOS: Go and play, boy!
368
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,512
Let's do the centre kick again.
Let's do the centre kick again.
369
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,035
Oh, so your son's playing?
So brave.
370
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,157
- Why is he brave?
- Well,just...
371
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,350
Nothing.
372
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,717
Stath! That is Stath's ball.
That was Stath's ball.
373
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,711
One more of those, please!
374
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,791
Go! Dean, take it.
375
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,230
Come on, keeper!
376
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,590
Stath! Stath! I'm open!
377
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,479
Stath! Stath!
378
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,836
- No! Stath back to me!
- CAROLE: Stath, no!
379
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,513
STATH: Boof! Rock on!
380
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,159
You idiot! That's our goal!
381
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,959
What are you doing,
you fucking tosser?
382
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,678
Sorry, I won't do it again.
383
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,434
- Keeper's ball, keeper's ball. No!
-(LAUGHTER)
384
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,989
Oh, you want it off me, bruv?
You want it off me?
385
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,117
Oh! He went...
386
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,800
- DEAN: What are you doing?
- Bruv!
387
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,439
- We changed ends.
- Why?
388
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:30,715
Marcus is in goal!
389
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,030
Argh, I wondered
what that was about...
390
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:38,069
What a save! Oh! Ahhh!
391
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,037
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
392
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:45,319
Everyone, to be fair. Highest scorer.
Man of the match. Stath.
393
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,277
Very funny. Very quick.
394
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,591
All right, you can fuck off
with your greasy spoon agency.
395
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,671
It's not my fault
you have nothing to be proud of!
396
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,239
What are you proud of?
397
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,550
Your snake son
who drinks drugs every day?
398
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,438
OK, what are you on about?
399
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,238
He doesn't do that any more, thank you.
400
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,517
I know because I paid a shit load
of money to make sure of it.
401
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,829
Because I can.
402
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,911
What are you going
to do to fix your son, eh?
403
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,911
How you gonna fix that?
404
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,434
STATH: Phil Khoo, come on extra time!
405
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,069
Yeah... Aw!
406
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,109
SOPHIE: Do you want my coat?
407
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,157
No, you don't have to do that.
408
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,312
It's nice and snuggly
for the injured boy.
409
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,596
Oh, God thank you, erm, girl.
410
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,037
Oh, there's a chocolate in the pocket.
411
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,157
It's not got its wrapper though,
but you can have it.
412
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,639
Wow, thank you.
413
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,233
By the way, no of fence
414
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,880
but erm, I think you should
go solo with your dancing.
415
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,236
- Come on.
- Honestly, you're the outstanding
416
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,311
performer of the two, definitely.
417
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,438
Your energy, I've never
seen anything like it,just so natural.
418
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,831
That's so nice, but it was dog shit.
419
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,160
Well, I thought it was fantastic.
420
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,319
I think you're fantastic.
421
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,153
I need to, erm, I need to
stop being so clumsy. (CHUCKLES)
422
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,513
Tomoko says I remind her of Mr Bean...
- Shut up about your girlfriend.
423
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,756
Winning this tournament's
really put things into perspective,
424
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,433
and I just want to say
that if I ever get married
425
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,909
I'm going to askJulian
to be my best man.
426
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,833
Oh, man I'd do the same
but I promised it to a best mate.
427
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,795
That's too much. Less.
428
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,076
Less, less.
429
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,712
Perfect. Thank you very much.
430
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:35,630
Oof.
431
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,911
Sorry about earlier.
432
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,913
I know you feel strongly for me
and I need to respect that.
433
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,038
It is fine, we all do crazy bullshit
we don't mean sometimes.
434
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,155
(SIGHS) We do.
435
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:47,590
We do.
436
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,235
Can I get you a drink?
437
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,554
Oh, yes... Erm, I will have
Baileys soda, please?
438
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,598
- How much is that gonna be?
-$4.75.
439
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,829
I'll leave it.
440
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,109
I just remember, I have
two discount tickets for Alton Towers,
441
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,989
but you have to use them 24th, 25th
of December if you'd like to come... No?
442
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,114
I will go alone.
443
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,759
- JULIAN: Honestly, Karen...
- Carole...
444
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,150
JULIAN: You blew me away
on that pitch, you're proper.
445
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,038
I dunno why you work for them though.
446
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,589
I could 100% get you into Smethwicks.
447
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,193
Oh, God, I'd love that.
448
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,759
Er, what are you doing in here?
449
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,797
This is a private space
for boys to toilet.
450
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,712
Julian invited me actually.
451
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,552
Well done. Don't care.
452
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,631
Hey man, little bump?
453
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,393
Oh, my God. I'm tellin' your mum.
454
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,990
Is you... Yeah... Excuse me. Miss?
455
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,310
I just went into
the toilet and Julian was in there
456
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,835
even doing drugs at the end
of the day and that's said now.
457
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,069
What's he said?
What are you talking about?
458
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,480
Shut up. What's he saying, Mum?
459
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,358
What did I say?
460
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,272
- I was just in the...
- No. What did I say?
461
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,396
I warned you.
Touch it again and you're out.
462
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,391
It's not even mine, Mum,
it's not even mine.
463
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,073
- You're sacked. You're sacked.
- What do you mean sacked?
464
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,037
Someone said, "Oh, take that,
look after this for me."
465
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,873
- I don't even know what it is.
- I can still see it on your nose.
466
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,270
Dad, Julian's mumjust fired him.
467
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:07,558
(GASPS) Every day,
every day, I love you.
468
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,638
You are very hard for me though.
469
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,038
All right, erm, thank you.
470
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:18,318
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for everything
471
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:23,877
For everything I'm sorry
472
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,194
I'm so sorry for...
473
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,840
I'm so sorry for...
474
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:35,515
I'm so sorry for everything
475
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,591
Girl, you know I'm sorry
476
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,274
I'm so sorry for...
477
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:43,034
I'm so sorry for...
478
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:46,636
I'm so sorry for everything
479
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,950
Girl, you know I'm sorry
480
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,316
I'm so sorry for...
481
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:52,754
I'm so sorry...
482
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,797
- What?
- Did you getJulian sacked?
483
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,279
Are you an actual snake?
484
00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:57,794
Ah, c'mon, Cazza.
485
00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,553
Let's just leave
the squabblin' at work yeah?
486
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:04,191
End of the day, I'm a brill bloke, yeah?
And I think you are a cool gal.
487
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,271
Why, why are you a brill bloke? Why?
488
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,754
Why are you brill?
489
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,160
Because of facts and stats.
490
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:14,154
Because I got thisjob without my dad
giving it to me, OK? Fact.
491
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,595
And because I would have
just got a job at Smethwicks
492
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,194
if you hadn't snaked out
my one connection there. OK?
493
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,998
So your turn.
What are your facts?
494
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,714
Whatever. I just know. Innit?
495
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,871
You can't even...
You can't even name one!
496
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,473
One good thing
you've ever done, can you?
497
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,233
Yes. Erm...
498
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,118
I like to sing with my sister.
499
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,350
Oh, my God. You're so pointless.
500
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,078
Do you know what,
I was just telling Julian actually,
501
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,310
I have this daydream
about you, all the time,
502
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,630
where I push you
really hard into a spike.
503
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,109
And you burst. It's heaven!
504
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,918
Well, that would never happen!
505
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,354
I canjust do it...
506
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,760
(TUTS)
507
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,314
I'm kissin' Carole.
508
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,077
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
509
00:23:09,305 --> 00:24:09,542
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510
00:24:09,592 --> 00:24:14,142
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