Original subtitles

"This film is based on a true love story."

"For the safety of those still married in the film,"

"their names are completely made up."

Speak.

Hello? Are you still home?

Where are we going again?

It's Grey Bear's wedding day!

So he's is the only one who has to be there...

Dude you're his best man!

Ugh... it's fine, I'll be there next time...

Next time?

Hello?

What... hey!

Get up! You ass!

Alright alright, be right there!

You're so friggin late!

Why are you all dressed up?

It's called self-respect,

which you don't have. Look at you!

Dress code on the invite said smart casual!

Where's the smart part?

I just see casual!

I think we define 'smart casual' differently!

Well look at the groom!

Good morning!

Oh are you getting married today?

I know alright?

I screwed up.

Where's the red packet?

It's settled. We don't need it.

We don't!?

Lucky red packet to enter please!

You said it's settled?!

It is!

They still want the red packet...

Tell them we don't have it!

HOW?

You tell them yourself!

That's blackmail now isn't it!

Watch me. I'm not dicking around, you bunch of...

!@♪%A♪!$@♪%@!

They can hear you, you know.

Come on,

didn't we go over this?

No groom pranks, no packet.

Pranks and packets are two different words.

Those are two completely separate things!

Okay dudes,

I think I made a mistake...

Come on boys we got this.

Huddle!

You bastard!

$5800?

Whoa that's tight, bro.

That's way too much!

And you?

I have something special for my bro of 10 years, of course.

Oh what the hell!

$800? Am I joke to you?

Guys!

You can't measure friendship with money!

You got a point there.

Fine, collect and pass go.

How did I pass?

I am the god of reasoning.

Eat shit.

How much you got?

Take this.

Oh bollocks!

Twenty dollars on your wedding day?

I was not expecting this!

That's an unlucky number, make it $6800.

Here! Take it!

Are we at a wake, dude?

Add a fruit chew in there why don't you.

Fine!

I'll give you an additional $200!

What about this dollar?

Save it for your mortgage, dumb-ass.

Thanks.

Wifey, I'm here.

I used to complain about my pathetic shitty life,

now I understand.

I used up all the luck in my life to find you,

and now I am complete.

From now onwards.

I promise to commit.

And cherish you, Jenny.

And be the man of your life.

I'm so touched!

I'm not!

What do you know about love?

Use me or abuse me,

I have no regrets!

I never could understand

these dumb speeches.

Right!

It's all fluff,

the grammar sucks,

I wonder which imbecile wrote this!

That imbecile would be me.

Hey! How could you...

How could you say such a thing?

Do you know respect?

Sorry,

my friend is a jerk!

Hope you don't mind!

It's not like that...

I'll be over there bumping into a friend, excuse me.

Go on!

I know it sounds cheesy,

but I like it! It's got local flavor,

like Hong Kong films, and that deserves support.

Forget it, you can't save it.

Sorry,

I didn't mean it that way.

Actually I just googled it.

All weddings are the same,

it's all just for show.

Do you need help?

Hi, my name is Kin,

you are Jenny's friend?

I think only friends can be bridesmaids, no?

Not exactly.

I'm here for Bear,

but we're not really friends.

You're funny right?

A lot of people say that.

But...

I'm quite shy actually.

Like right now,

I have so much I want to say to you,

but I don't know how to say it.

Why don't you write it down then,

I'm not in a rush.

Oh here's one.

You're wearing...

Chanel no.5?

I could sue you for sexual harassment.

You self centered bitch!

What I really meant is your perfume doesn't suit you.

So which perfume suits me then?

This one!

Arthritis Oil?

Daddy, have some tea.

Who's your daddy?

We haven't settled this yet!

How dare you!

Watch your back.

Thanks Daddy.

It looks like Uncle doesn't like Bear.

I can relate.

After all these years

I still don't like him,

and that's his father-in-law.

But...

tea-pouring has many meanings,

maybe that's Jen's stepfather.

Oh?

But all these years I've known Jen,

never knew her father died.

You know everything?

Maybe she just never told you.

I mean I would.

We've been friends for so long!

What if Jenny never treated you as her friend?

No wonder she is so feisty!

She has quite a past.

Bear must treat her real well from now.

We must give her sympathy...

mean congratulations.

I wonder if you have a boyfriend?

So what if I do, and what if I don't?

Oh nothing, just wondering if you'd like one.

What if I already have one?

Then I'm just wondering

if you'd like one more.

I'm Guy.

I'm Ho Yee.

Stand closer on the left...

Okay ready...

One, two, three!

Happy Anniversary.

Dammit, why didn't we come here sooner!

I didn't know it would take this long.

How much longer?

Soon, just a few more tickets

"2-3 persons, #60."

Happy Anniversary.

Happy Anniversary...

I'll let it slide this time!

Happy Anniversary.

I'm so hungry! Can we eat now?

Here it is! Be patient!

Happy Anniversary.

Happy Anniversary.

Happy Anniversary!

Guy, you're something else.

You even invited us to celebrate your anniversary!

True brother you are!

And you've got someone else,

another baby on the way.

Jen takes the crown,

Just 5 months after delivery,

look how fit she is!

Like she barely popped one out.

Hey watch your filthy mouth.

What do you mean filthy?

She barely popped one out?

What are you visualizing?

It's just small talk okay?

Can't say she's fat

and loose after giving birth, yeah?

Listen to yourself!

You're just trying to get Guyser in trouble.

Despicable.

You're implying my wife's fat, right?

Hey! Stop it the three of you!

You know that's not what I meant.

I can tell who's being sincere,

and who's just a shit-stirrer.

Right?

Jen's mad now, ok? Stop it.

Jen's not mad.

She just remembers everything...

hatefully.

Cut it out you two! You shut your mouths.

Fine! Hey, shut your disgusting mouth okay!

Just eat!

Don't you have arthritis? And you're eating shrimp?

No,

I got this for you.

Put your phone down at dinner,

you rude bitch.

Why are you obsessed with me?

I'm just looking at this!

Man's Home Catches Fire,

Saves Gundam Model Figure Instead of Hundred Thousand Dollars Cash.

Look at this hoot!

He'd rather save his toy and let his cash burn!

It's a groovy kind of bromance.

You wouldn't get it.

Oh? So you agree?

No,

I have no interest in toys?

I just overheard her,

and I'm feeling dizzy and nauseous!

Save it.

Let me ask you guys this. Your house is on fire,

you can only take one thing with you.

What would it be?

MY computer!

My porn collection,

some of them are classics!

I mean they have pink...

Drink up.

Fine.

What about you?

My phone and charger,

or I lose all my Tinder and CMB contacts.

That's cool.

I use these apps too,

to HOOK UP,

you want to hook up sometime?

If you were the only man left in this world,

I still wouldn't choose you.

If I was the only man left,

let's see if I even HAVE to choose you.

Burn...

Hey honey, what would you choose?

- Me? - Yeah.

My wallet,

passport,

keys to the safe,

the kids' birth certificates, and their umbilical cords.

What about the babies?

They would be with you, wouldn't they?

Of course they're with me, wouldn't they.

Wifey wants me on baby duty,

and that's exactly what I'll be.

I would take my photos.

They are precious to me.

I think memories have to be treasured, right?

Right,

and all I have to say is,

I'll just choose her.

You're useless!

Yeah MACGUYVER!

You could be a bit more dramatic.

Everything is disposable, just STUFF.

As long as you're safe.

Bugger off!

Best answer,

and you have a strong will to live.

You could be a bit more subtle.

Baby, it's obvious he doesn't mean it.

Exactly,

how can you say this crap, are you possessed?

Give me your finger...

I don't want to talk to you,

I need some fresh air.

There's someone new at Universal, number 88,

tell them Mr Kwan sent you, 20% off.

Mr Kwan would be?

Me.

Since when are you Mr Kwan?

When I'm getting my dick sucked.

Dude,

no one uses their real name at massage parlours alright?

But I'm only Mr Kwan at Universal.

At Oasis I'm Mr Cheung. Remember that!

You're married, dude. You shouldn't go.

Correction.

He started going AFTER he got married.

You okay there, Gay Bear?

Vincent,

he's getting married...

Qrgy Vincent?

I thought he couldn't be tied down.

What's up with him?

Heard his girlfriend is pregnant.

What an idiot!

That's a NO-NO

I don't think he wanted it to happen.

Exactly!

Gay Bear would know how that feels.

Why thanks, ass.

Hey he started it, not me.

Sorry sorry sorry,

I didn't mean to bring up your tragedy.

- It's all good. - Did you see yourself just now,

when Guy said he'd choose you.

Girl you were soaking wet.

I wasn't!

He's just acting, but you buy his crap.

To be fair,

it was pretty believable.

Look at mine.

Mine's method acting full time.

Never know what's real.

She doesn't need to know if it's real!

It's her last chance aboard ship, what else does she want?

My life?

You said you love her when you got married,

can't be without her, and all that...

You two saw it coming,

and should have warned me!

You said you wanted a hard love with no tomorrow,

so we thought you found it!

I never go to bed thinking there's tomorrow!

Let it go, bro.

Think you should just accept that you're a prissy!

I think Jen keeps you in line.

It's real love,

man.

Wait a minute.

It's not just all sweet talk, you know.

He's serious about me.

Serious about you?

Has he talked about marriage?

Yes, we've communicated,

we want to build our careers first.

That's not communicating,

that's being conned.

Build your career first?

You'll have better luck asking for world peace!

You have to wait until when?

So wait then!

You can't have your cake

and eat it too.

Damn straight!

I'm pretty sure Ho Yee's the one...

I feel safe with her,

I want to spend my life with her.

Bro,

life and sex life

are two completely "sexparate" things.

Why does sex have to be in everything?

No sex, no passion in life;

Why be together then?

That means you're just roommates!

Does she pay for utilities?

Jesus what is with you guys?

There is no free WiFi you know!

It's pricy!

Don't laugh!

Seriously!

Yeah, how can you say something like this, you're...

Lemme tell you something...

women is like coke,

in the beginning it makes you high,

but after a while?

It will eat you up,

change you,

and you'll crave it...

until one day when you look in the mirror,

you won't

recognize yourself,

and why...

Relax.

Was I tense just now?

A bit.

Let me tell you something Guy,

just put off marriage

as much as you can, alright?

Alright, I know.

- Louder! - Louder!

I KNOW!

OK!

Don't worry,

I got my boundaries!

I tell her all the time,

don't fix something that's not broken,

if you fix it, it will be broken!

I mean if a relationship is working,

why does it need to be worked on?

I know a lot of girls like you,

they date for years,

the guy does nothing, the girl says nothing;

They get used to it,

and then they break up.

I'm not going to break up with him,

it's been so many years!

He won't be able to take it!

Drink up!

Actually, all men are the same.

I know,

they all like blowjobs!

Am I wrong?

All men I know like it!

The older men are,

the more they don't know what they want!

That's why at this crucial moment.

They need us women to tell them.

What they need, what to do.

Before you decide,

ask yourself,

is he absolutely the man of your life?

We have a laundry basket, you know!

"Welcome to Old Trafford."

"This is the 179th Manchester Derby."

"Manchester United vs Manchester City."

NOW?

But the game's about to start...

how about halftime?

No! I want it now!

You can't wait 45 minutes?

You nympho!

That's me!

Fine!

You asked for it!

You are a very, very bad girl

and you need to be punished.

Tell me where!

Alas,

it's fate!

No condom,

no come!

I'll let you do me without.

No friggin way!

Just once?

I'll cut you a deal,

I don't mind.

But I do!

Come to biology class, Muttchester!

Stop teasing!

It's MANCHESTER!

Why do you worry anyway?

The referee is your pick

video assist is on your side,

it's a sure win!

Why don't we start biology class?

I know it's true.

But look!

There's Lingard today!

Something's up...

Hey!

Hey give that back!

It's the 179th Manchester Derby! Give it back!

Am I more important or is the game more important?

Am I more important or is sex more important?

Your question doesn't even make sense!

Same as your question!

So it's my fault?

Don't you dare!

There's no right or wrong okay?

You're not very stable right now,

why don't you calm down,

I'll have a think about what just happened,

and I'll see you in 9O minutes! Bye bye!

I hope you lose, Muttchester!

You shut your mouth!

This dick is in royal slumber for now!

That's quite a lot of angles already...

And I can find plenty more.

I'm sure the MANCHESTER DERBY had more angles.

Come on you sour puss

I've forgiven you darling...

but I don't forget.

Don't worry about breakfast, come with me.

What!

Come on.

What is it!

Just come,

here sit down!

Here sit down!

Happy anniversary.

Huh?

We already celebrated with our friends yesterday,

if you don't even get a present today,

I just can't forgive myself.

Lamps?

Yep!

What is this all about?

These are not ordinary lamps.

The sales told me

no matter how far apart they are,

even on far corners of the earth,

they are connected!

Just like us...

no matter what distance, what circumstance,

our hearts are connected.

Look,

I'm on... so are you!

You're on... so am I!

Yes indeed, but...

Jesus they're expensive...

so if it doesn't switch on, then that will switch me on.

So do you like them?

They're alright.

Do I get a smile?

Bugger off!

You do this every time I'm upset,

you just make it all into a joke!

Okay,

I won't make any jokes next time then,

I'll just make you upset.

For real? I can't wait!

I've never been propositioned before!

My dick is hard!

Come on!

What is that smell?

My breakfast!

Oats and spam! This is new...

Don't like it? You can starve.

Hey now, that's not what I mean,

this is just so healthy babe...

it's so good!

Come try it, thank you!

How did you make it? Teach me!

Here's your gift.

And a gift too? You're the best.

Where did you get this?

I begged a Japanese collector so long for this!

Why, don't you like it?

Why would you think that?

I'll use it everyday, and take it everywhere I go!

Thank you!

Hey!

There's a discount for a course now...

Why this all of a sudden?

Private car is different than motorcycle.

I know they're different,

one has four wheels one has two.

Exactly!

Exactly!

So what's with the private car?

You don't get it?

What's there to get when you've said practically nothing?

Forget it,

I'm getting dressed for work.

Hey Guyser, hurry up dude!

Hey bro.

Why did you call me?

What do you need?

Look after Elise for me okay?

I got a meeting in Macau.

There's no meeting,

you're going for sex!

A true brother, indeed!

But you just went to Macau last week!

I know!

In a whole week,

I haven't jerked off once!

What is wrong with you?

You'd rather jerk off than do it with Jen?

And let her have all the fun?

You won't understand, you're not married!

I don't get it.

Why would you get yourself a hooker in Macau with just under an hour to spare?

Porn themed rooms.

Porn-themed rooms?

Stewardess! Nurse!

Secretary! Car wash!

Car wash?

HOW?

You're the car. You get washed.

Come on!

I go by chopper. Be back before dinner.

You've got to be kidding,

this is totally out of proportion, Gay Bear!

You got that right!

Theirs IS out of proportion... compared to what Jen has.

That's true.

Just make it quick alright?

Thanks Guyser!

Elise you be good okay?

Daddy will be right back, no tantrums okay?

Be smart.

Poor Elise!

Your dad would rather hold big ass jugs than hold you!

Hey!

That's my bike!

Screw you, Gray Bersen!

Grams is all magic,

you guys ask why Bear is so obedient,

it's because of Grams' special potion.

That's insane!

Pretty wild!

I've known her for 30 years,

I would know!

Only you two would believe her.

You ungrateful child, don't slam it if you don't believe it!

It's all about WAP.

- Witches And Plants.

Here, morning and night one dose each.

Got it!

Grams, what's this water?

Medicinal tea,

it takes the heat out of the man,

and he'll turn into a lamb

so he won't stray.

Here, thanks Grams.

Right.

Dollface, you and Guy are in a bit of a rut, hm?

Grams.

What did you do?

How did you know?

Spot on, right?

Because Jenny told me!

She practically gift-wrapped a driving course application for Guy,

but it totally went over his head.

What does that mean? I don't get it.

Motorcycle is for two people,

private car is for more than two!

But a private car can also just hold two people.

And a motorcycle definitely can't hold more than that!

The Geyser just thinks about himself!

This morning when I was on his bike,

- he said I made him all slow. - Ew!

Guy's got his head in the clouds,

He's got peanuts for salary,

not a single truthful word,

and he's a bit of a floozy.

He's handsome though!

Pretty to look at.

Granny

you're supposed to be on my side!

I stand on the side of reason.

Grams, is it in the cards?

Will they marry?

When's the last time you guys screwed?

That's a bit direct Grams isn't it!

Alright

I'll be subtle.

When's the last time you coupled,

made love,

did the deed?

After...

after we came to visit you over Chinese New Year.

What?

Noooo.

It's the end of the year now babe.

How can you stand it?

Marriage will only be in sight...

if you take the reins.

Otherwise, it's a no-go.

I made soup,

you girls stay for dinner tonight!

- Thanks Grams - Sure Grams.

Grams is just hearing nonsense!

You can't scare me off!

If you don't believe in fate

at least your body's honest!

If you don't trust your granny,

you could at least trust your pussy.

Maybe it's just because of the game last night.

I'll try again in a couple of clays.

You might lose to Netflix and PS4.

Girl.

Do you not see it?

You gotta keep it fresh!

That's right! Like a fresh piece of gum:

Sweet and juicy on those first few chews...

then it loses its flavor,

and you spit it out.

Enough with the analogies you two!

Give me something I can work with!

Is that a smile, baby?

You piece of shit.

I always have to pick up after your crap!

It's not entirely my fault!

It said No Parking,

and you went for it anyway.

You're just asking for it.

It would never happen

if you could keep your dick in your pants!

EASY!

Easy, buddy.

Just be more careful next time.

Say that to yourself.

If Jen finds out, you're a dead man.

She's not going to find out!

Know the rules, play lifelong.

Look,

I took Elise for her shot,

and then bought Jen her favorite snacks.

Majors points, man!

Great, genius

I am appalled at your reasoning.

I am the god of reasoning.

Whatever dude!

Shit!

My wife is on her way home, I have to get back before she does!

Come on Elise,

hey Guyser I'll talk to you later!

Major points, man!

Elise, we gotta hurry okay?

Mommy's coming... let's go!

Daddy!

Daddy!

Hey sweetie! Did you have fun?

Yeah!

That's great! Now go have some more fun!

Okay!

When did you get in?

A while ago.

Wow...

you're pretty sweaty.

I'm just excited you're back, honey!

How excited?

Let's have biology class right now,

Miss Jen!

Is it good? You like it?

Just like how I remember.

Of course,

it's fresh from Macau.

You went to Macau?

Hmm?

Macau no.

You just said this is

fresh

from

Macau!

9h yes!

I was in Macao today.

You said no just now.

Alright.

I promised Guy I wouldn't say anything,

but

he's in a rough patch with Ho Yee lately,

so I went to the casino in Macau with him!

I mean Ho Yee is your best friend, so I wanted to cheer him up.

Oh?

Ho Yee never mentioned anything.

Of course.

Baby not everyone is sweet like us.

Just keep this off the record okay?

Don't go telling Ho Yee now.

Alright, I'm going to shower.

Come over here!

What is it honey?

Which ferry did you take?

Answer.

The 5130.

Which casino?

- Lisboa - There for?

- Two hours - Win or lose?

- Won $500! - Call Guy.

Sure!

What is it this time?

Haven't had enough today?

Hello Guy Guy!

I've thought it through.

Out of the three of us,

I'm the weakest link.

We need a Bro Code.

If this ever activates,

then I am in grave danger.

Guy Guy?

Yes!

Yeah, don't you love it when I call you this?

Oh... yeah Bear Bear!

What do you want to tell me?

You gotta tell me slowly okay?

I have the worst memory...

No problem.

I just wanted to ask you,

did you like the curry fish balls I got you the other day?

Curry fishballs...

"Curry Fishballs Lisboa Casino."

Balls...

of course I did!

I'm so glad!

Where did we go today?

Lisboa Casino,

we went for a game or two.

That's correct!

The time.

So what time did we go?

We had a pineapple bun before we went, remember?

"Pineapple Bun = 5:30."

Well...

you took Elise for her shot at 3:30,

then I joined you after work,

then we took the 5:30 ferry to Macau!

5 stars!

Which pier?

Which pier did we come back from?

The one with the red bean slush.

Shit!

My Bro what's the matter?

What's the matter my Bro?

Actually...

The red bean slush you got me isn't good...

What's wrong with your red bean slush?

It faded!

It faded?

Do you think you have another drink for me?

That's all I have!

Hang on!

The connection is so bad... he's on hold.

Hello, what's up?

Kin we're in deep shit!

Gay Bear is being held hostage by Jen, he's on the other line!

He activated the Bro Code, you gotta help me decode it!

What? Bitch!

Wait me a minutes.

- What is it? - Hey let go.

| gotta go-

I thought you were asking about the pier,

what's the slushie all about?

You heard me, I was asking him...

He can't even tell you,

and you said you went together!

It's not that he can't,

he just hasn't yet, honey!

Why all this fluff for something that did happen?

Sure!

It's actually more common than you think.

Like...?

Like for example do you love me honey?

What is wrong with you?

Answer me baby!

You're crazy...

You see! You love me,

yet you can't answer me either!

If Guy can't answer,

you're in deep shit I tell you.

Guy, I found it!

"Red Bean Slush = Taipa Terminal." I know what it stands for!

Bear Bear! I got it!

Hello... Guy Guy...

At 3:30 you got Elise her shot,

then I got off work and joined you and we took the 5:30 ferry to Macau,

then you were at Lisboa Casino for two hours,

and won $500 too,

then we took the 8:00 ferry from Taipa Pier back to Hong Kong!

YES! You are correct!

Of course I am,

because everything I just said is the truth...

Bear Bear is so lucky

to have such an awesome bro like you, Guy Guy...

Guy Guy thinks so too!

But from now on please don't ever call me again with something like this.

I know...

never again...

thank you for your time...

- Goodnight and sweet dreams! - Goodbye.

Catch me!

I'm so sorry!

Muttchester!

Are you done?

But it's hilarious!

A pole dance?

Then the pole falls off...

Hey watch your mouth okay? That's my girlfriend!

Oh the man knows shame!

You just let her fall,

You Geyser!

I had half a second to react!

The pole came straight down at me!

Ho Yee will get over it.

I'm going to get her some soup

and her favorite noodles,

and her favorite dessert too!

It's going to be a night of sorry's.

No!

Don't say sorry lightly!

Deja-vu,

this is all deja-vu...

My wife did the pole dance thing...

At first I thought I was

the luckiest man alive...

little did I know I was a dumb-ass,

it was all a ploy...

I did her raw,

and now I'm a lost cause.

Are you kidding, some dumb-ass you are!

I just said I'm a dumb-ass,

you don't have to repeat it!

It's not the same...

when you say you're a dumb-ass you're just saying it,

when I say you're a dumb-ass then I'm saying it!

What's the difference?

Dude,

when you say you're dumb-ass

you may not be a dumb-ass.

But when we say you're a dumb-ass

then it's true.

Is that right?

Of course it is,

The world doesn't revolve around you.

You can't claim stupidity.

You have to be certified stupid by someone else.

Fine, I'll let you pass this time.

What do you mean you LET me pass?

I am the god of reasoning, as usual.

"Jenny: Hubby, don't stay out too late!"

"Grey Bear: Sure, silly slut!"

What?

Why did you call your wife "silly slut"?

Wow you guys!

How did you know I was thinking it?

Because what you were thinking, you just wrote it.

Shit!

I'm not...

damn autocorrect!

I meant nut! Silly Nut!

I was so sure I typed NUT!

Nut Nut Nut! I'm a dead man.

I'm a dead ass man! Save me!

You're in deep shit Bear! "Jenny is typing" it says!

You have to write back before Jen does, or you're a dead bear!

Nut Nut Nut... my thick fingers... shit!

Write it write it write it!

NUT NUT NUT

Come On come On come On come On.

SEND!

"Grey Bear: Sorry, I meant silly nut."

It's gonna be okay...

Okay!

Jen said 'OK'

- I'm going to pass out. - It's alright!

Thank God!

It's over... it's over...

I was scared shitless!

Hey!

Okay so you were saying...

seems like I'm in danger zone here?

Ok let's think about this, I got an idea.

You can download the Buddhist's mantra.

No Holy Bible

would work on someone like Guy.

That's true.

But recently I read this book about hypnosis,

- you should check it out! - Let me see.

Written by Anselm Chan...

Hypnosis?

This is some new age fluff right?

You're a skeptic huh?

Let me show you.

I'm not into men

I'm not joking!

Come on!

Okay so close your eyes,

focus,

and relax your body...

The hell?

How do I focus AND relax at the same damn time?

Can you go find someone else to talk to?

Here we go again!

Okay-

Now think about Ho Yee,

and then think of an asshole you know!

Ho Yee,

asshole...

Ho Yee,

asshole...

Ho Yee,

asshole...

Ho Yee,

asshole...

Ho Yee...

Shit Hell!

That's it?

That's it!

That's amazing!

You didn't even so much as flinch at your lie.

You don't know shit, do you?

Listen: If Ho Yee tries to seduce you,

just yell.

"Shit Hell"

and the hypnosis will kick in.

Alright,

Shit Hell!

Well that didn't work.

- Bull! - I'm telling you, it works!

Your dad says it does!

Why don't you believe me?

Your dad says we don't!

Alright enough already, don't say shit about my dad.

Your dad says shit!

Hi sir!

What is up with you?

This is a non-smoking flight,

you can't smoke in here.

Why are you dressed like this?

How much luggage do you have?

I don't have any.

How can you travel without luggage?

Alright!

Here you go. Thanks!

Sure!

Put it up there!

Really feel it!

Yes...

Smile! Come on now!

I want a headset. I'm going for a video game.

Okay-

Sir.

I wanted a headset.

We don't have any,

have your meal first.

I'm not hungry!

Have a drink then!

Fine, what do you have?

Oh...

we have... coffee, tea...

or me?

I'll have a Coke thanks.

Don't have it.

It's either coffee, tea, or ME!

No thanks.

You HAVE to pick.

I'll have a bottled water thanks...

Why didn't you say so?

Water...

Oh,

there's sudden turbulence...!

Oh what happened!

I'm so sorry Sir!

It's my fault!

Don't worry,

please take off your pants,

I'll help you blow dry them! Please let me...

Hey what are you doing!

- Don't do this! - Here, here,

- Get away from me! - We have to blow your pants dry!

Shit Hell!

What is it?

Are you OK?

What the hell!

The asshole I was thinking... damn it's the two of you!

Do you like it?

Are you satisfied?

- What is it? - Get the hell away from me!

Don't you come over here!

- What is it sir? - I'm warning you! Stay away!

- It's all my fault! - Stay away!

- We have to blow dry your pants! - Get out of here!

| said get up!

Let me blow...

I'm not going to let you!

Don't be like this!

Take one more step forward and I'll...

Take them off!

I'll blow your left nut out!

Don't you come closer!

Take them off!

I can fight you!

- Tell us what you want, Guyser! - I'm telling you...

Come on!

- Let me blow you... - Is that right?

- Please calm down! - Hell!

Jeez, that hurts!

Poor babe.

This is not looking good.

Next time don't bother with the ambulance,

just call for a morgue truck!

Damn!

I just can't believe he hates roleplay.

I mean, I was a stewardess, too!

Think about it.

Isn't it every "guy's" dream?

Isn't that right?

Hold up.

I think the guys are onto something.

It's Grey Bear isn't it!

It has to be.

What else you got?

This.

Oh that's devious.

But I like it.

When's your next period?

In a week.

I'm only interested in biology class with him,

not actually baby-making!

Think about it,

knowing Guy,

if YOU get pregnant

he's going to marry you.

Right!

Women hate it

when men go bareback and scram;

For you,

it's bareback and "pram".

Right!

We gotta milk it for what it's worth right?

Right!

He wins in the end!

Mmmmm.

Looks like...

I'll have to do it the hard way.

Is it Grey Bear?

Let me handle this, you go on home.

He won't be able to leave this house.

Hubby!

Hubby!

| QOT you!

Hubby,

if I find you,

you're a dead man!

Hubby,

Are you here?

I'm coming in!

The girls have pills!

I can't come to you guys!

Guy Guy, watch your back!

Kinny-Kins, you gotta save Guy Guy!

I'm compromised right now...

- GOTCHA! - But you AGGGHHH.

Help!

"Grey Bear has left the chat."

"You are now an admin."

Tipping them off, huh?

O happy day!

O you cruel hag!

My dick will never give in...

karma will get you...

I may not know when karma will get me,

but your doomsday just clocked in.

Honey! I love you!

Guy!

Gay Bear sent over a clip!

I saw!

You can't go home alright?

Of course I can't...

because I'm already home...

Hey.

Bro! I'm coming over!

Still on the phone?

Come on,

have some soup while it's hot!

Are you OK?

Guy!

Guy!

Hello? Hello?

Damn!

SQ?

How does it taste?

It's so good!

Of course it's good,

it's straight from the can.

What a spread! What's the occasion?

Something special.

What are you busy with lately?

There's a project with great terms,

an offer the client just can't refuse...

but the client just can't make up his mind,

and keeps playing hard to get...

Maybe it's not a good deal then...

Well it's not about that...

it's just that it's a long term client...

you just get attached, you know?

So we had a meeting today,

to figure out a solution!

Come on.

You want some mashed potatoes?

No thanks...

Have some, it's really good!

So was it a done deal in the end?

Not yet,

but it will be... soon.

Why aren't you eating?

It's just a bit dry...

I want something to drink.

I already got you this.

Soda?

Too much sugar!

I'll just have some water.

If you want.

Hey Kinny,

I can't hold out much longer!

Where are you?

What do you want?

Don't even think about it!

I'm not dioking around with you right now.

Just want to cut you a deal.

I don't want no deal, bitch!

Let's get it straight.

Leave Guy alone tonight,

and I'll do whatever you want.

For real?

I never play around.

Five years...

I've waited this chance for five years!

Guyser,

|'m sorry!

Actually,

he's old enough

to be a family man now...

You're doing the right thing.

Hey.

Promise you won't hit my face okay?

So,

where can I hit you then?

You bad girl,

you want to sit on death row don't you?

Then, tonight

I can sit on whatever you want to.

Damn!

You're just asking for it.

You're getting punished for being so bad!

Kinny, help me,

I'm so hard right now...

What's going on...

down there?

What did you do to the bottled water?

You laced it!

So What if I did?

You're something else.

Just say you want it,

I'm right here baby.

No!

Just give in.

Hold it in much longer

and you'll combust!

I'd rather explode than give in!

Never!

Really...

Get away from me you bitch!

You should just whip it out

when you still can...

this is your last chance...

You wouldn't!

Oh I wouldn't?

You're so bad!

No... no...

let me go, please...

Shit!

No condoms again?

Alas, it's fate!

We'll have to do it without then...

I can give you everything!

But... can you take off your mud mask,

and wear your stewardess uniform again?

No!

I did the role play

but you didn't want it!

You brought this look upon yourself!

No I didn't...

HO... HO...

HQ!

Help, help!

I screwed her last night.

It's alright Guyser,

you were possessed.

Cheer up.

I'm not upset because she got her way...

I'm upset because I didn't use a condom man,

and it felt crazy good.

I'm so mad at myself,

like why am I so weak?

Screw you!

Wait a tic,

I thought you went to help him out last night?

Let's not sidetrack,

we are in the golden 72 hour bracket right now guys.

Yes!

Golden 72 hours?

Think about it,

what if...

you hit the jackpot last night?

Easy...

it's "POP" goes the baby after 10 months!

Not necessarily.

Look at him, he smokes,

drinks and stays up all night.

His jizz is in bad shape,

he should be fine.

And how would you know all about my jizz?

Have you tried it?

Look, think of the best solution

for the worst scenario.

The worst scenario?

Pregnancy.

So what's the solution?

Easy...

We kill the sperm!

Surely you three are up to no good.

What do you want?

My friend...

wants the morning after pill for his girlfriend.

You see,

my friend here loves sex but he hates condoms,

and he's irresponsible as hell,

so we're here for the pill.

So do you have it?

We only sell the pill to the ladies,

unless you have a prescription.

You don't?

Then leave!

Let me do this.

Excuse me Miss,

I'm actually female... The one he's looking for...

Forget it, that won't work.

Watch me.

Miss,

help me out...

GET OUT!

What do we do now?

We can't do this in broad daylight...

we gotta enlist The Dark Side.

Do you know anyone?

You've come to the right person.

As Grey Bear of the Wild Unknown, I know everybody...

We're all set then!

Except The Dark Side.

Ugh!

It's done.

The Fire Dragon will meet us

at 11 tonight

at Kwun Tong pier.

The heck?

You're the Fire Dragon?

Who told you I'm a dude?

It's... fine,

I was just curious.

Curiosity kills.

So you want it?

First time?

Yes...

Don't want to man up, huh?

Yeah...

I mean no,

I think there's some misunderstanding,

I'm not like those other guys...

Save it, you're all the same.

That's true too...

Take one dose within 24 hours, on a full stomach.

Watch her take it,

trust your own eyes, not her word.

Gotcha!

Here's a tip on the house...

after she takes it,

you can screw her again, no condom!

Uh, why are you doing this?

Gotta milk that pill for what it's worth, right?

Damn girl, you are brutal!

You better watch out for karma!

Oh it has come for me, don't you worry,

because your buddy Kinny taught me this.

You can thank that numbnut!

I see...

- sorry about that. - By the way,

tell that jerk wad never to call me again, bye!

Since we're not entirely strangers,

can you give me a ride out there?

Sure.

Hey you said sure!

Was it good?

It's great,

how do you know this restaurant?

You said you wanted to try this place,

I remember!

You want dessert too?

They have a molten lava chocolate dessert, delicious apparently.

Okay,

can you order? I'm going to the bathroom.

Hey,

what are you doing?

I think I have heartburn coming up...

so I wanted electrolytes...

Oh.

Was it the steak?

Oh!

Steak is loaded with the lingering energies of the animal itself...

So drink up then!

It's too fizzy right now.

Oh!

And that fizz is what's good for you!

Come on,

big gulps now.

Here, come on!

Hurry, hurry!

Hurry, hurry!

Hurry, hurry!

Big gulps!

Drink it down!

How are you doing, Geyser-man?

Are you still alive?

My tummy hurts...

but the problem is...

my chest...

It feels all tender...

but also larger...

It feels so weird.

You don't believe me?

Here, touch it!

Oh wow there it is...

that's so cute,

"and I shall name it Squishy"...

For real?

- Let me try let me try... - Here...

No way, you feel like a GIRL!

This is amazing, you can just feel yourself up.

Not just that... gotta look out for your bros, man!

Gotta close your eyes first, dude

I'm okay with that, it will do.

That's enough,

have some respect! I have feelings too!

But you asked us to touch you...

Yeah, we just went along with it!

Don't fool around if you don't want to.

Yeah cover yourself.

Sorry sorry,

I don't know why I'm like this, I'm just all over the place,

and I feel so angsty!

Well of course you do!

The morning after pill tricks the body into menstruating,

and the sperm can't work it.

Are you serious?

So I have a period coming?

Hey.

Hey, you don't say...

you look exactly like when my wife has her period,

she is quite unreasonable.

Jen's reasonable when she's not on her period?

Of course she is...

because the reasoning is always on her side.

Quit your bull!

Alright Bros for life,

you each take one!

We're not that close.

Take it!

Fine, Bros for life.

In this life or the next!

Take it!

Swallow!

I am craving something sweet...

Periods are a bitch, if you think about it.

I have to be more considerate to Heidi from now on.

Look at you

someone's having a change of heart!

I just think that

it's a Gift for women to menstruate monthly...

And concerns no one else

if Ho Yee gets another period because of the pill,

then she'll have to go through all this again,

that's awful of me.

You're awful all the time though!

What if she gets pregnant, think about that!

Then it's meant to be...

I mean, it's a message from above, right?

You have to accept it...

Welcome back.

Wow, what's going on?

Just any other day...

and I just felt like it.

Nah...

what did you do, Geyser?

Nothing!

I just saw how hard you've been working lately,

so I made you something nice...

date night!

What did you do? Really.

Nothing!

You're up to something...

Can you manage?

Of course,

go change,

get out of here...

dinner will be ready soon.

Don't cut yourself!

Are you good? Dinner's ready!

I have to go buy something downstairs.

Is it urgent? Can you go tomorrow?

It's urgent... girl stuff.

Girl stuff?

Is it your period?

Yeah...

Oh...

is that right...

Why are you so happy about my period?

Am I?

You were grinning.

I was?

I always look like this.

Go quickly if you need to,

I'll pick a wine.

Why are we celebrating my period?

We're not!

Then what's the wine for?

We don't have to have wine...

come on let's eat.

What's going on,

can you just man up? You're definitely happy about it.

Why am I happy about it?

Come on.

I know you very well, Guy.

I can tell what makes you happy and what doesn't!

Come on, I made you dinner.

Can you not pick a fight?

I'm picking a fight?

You think I don't know what you're doing?

I'm just letting you off easy!

You're letting me off easy?

Then what are you doing all that stuff for?

What stuff?

You want to get pregnant, so that I'll marry you!

Is marrying me really so bad?

Don't put words in my mouth,

I didn't say that.

Come on babe, don't.

It's nothing, let's just eat, okay?

Don't be silly.

"Kin: Guy! Do you still have the after pill? Anson wants it too!"

Is marrying me really so, so bad?

No it's not...

but I just don't think it's time yet!

You say that all the time!

I don't think you want to marry me at all!

No! I want to!

Then let's get married right now!

Don't force me!

I'm forcing you?

I'm forcing you?

I'll never force you, ever again.

You're in luck.

Croissants for breakfast tomorrow!

You sure?

Watch me!

What's so funny?

It's not... it's not funny...

What's so funny!

It's not...

Go to hell!

- No, please! Sorry! - Freeze!

Hotpot's ready! Come on!

I'm telling you!

I'm serious about my diet this time!

Don't distract me!

OK...

You'll be distracted enough anyway...

hotpot in hot summer is so good!

The beef is so fresh...

the texture is just perfect!

Only a fool would pass this up.

What are you looking at?

Work it girl!

Yes sir!

Faster!

- Yes sir! - Sweat it out!

- Yes! - More!

More!

That's about right.

Ew, why should I listen to you?

What are you doing?

You're on a diet!

- That's my food! - I want the beef!

It's mine! I'm not sharing!

Screw the diet! I'll diet after this!

Trust me!

- I'll diet right after the last bite! - I don't believe you!

- I want the chicken testicles! - Get back over there!

I want the chicken testicles!

That's not for a woman!

Paper... paper».

Rock Paper Scissors!

Hurry!

Hey hey hey hey hey.

What the hey!

Admit defeat. Muttchester!

Muttchester... you mean you!

That's cheating you know!

4424 formation?

I can do the same.

Don't Muttchester me from now on!

I don't care, I won anyway!

I want to see the match at Anfield Stadium

- I wanna I wanna! - It's Old Trafford, not Anfield!

- I wanna I wanna! - Old Trafford!

Wow...

looks amazing!

Of course, I took the photos!

I mean the model!

How can I look so feminine like her?

Depends on how fast you want the results.

I want them fast!

You can reincarnate to look like her.

Shit.

What if I can take it slow?

Reincarnate twice!

Wait ow... nooooo!

You come back here!

What are you doing, you shit-stirrer!

- Come over if you've got the balls! - Why how dare you!

- Don't you cry later! - Why how dare you!

You're dead if I catch you.

Yes! To the side!

Yes! Underlap!

Exactly! Get back up there!

Again again again!

WTH?!

GET HIM!

Faster!

Kick him!

Pull his shirt!

"Goal! Liverpool 1:0 Manchster United."

"Home fans are cheering in excitement!"

Don't you worry...

we will make a comeback!

Yes!

You will never walk alone!

"To Ho Yee: I miss you."

"Blocked by contact."

Grams!

You're back.

Yeah...

So... do you have anything to say to me?

What?

You're supposed to comfort your granddaughter!

I've just broken up.

You've said nothing.

I've never had to worry about you growing up,

whether it be school, work,

you've always managed on your own.

I've done everything that I could. Now what.

The problem is you do too much!

The last few years,

you put Guy first in everything,

you always make him happy first!

What about you?

When he's happy, then I'm happy...

If that's true you wouldn't be like this now!

When I give,

of course I hope to receive in return.

But it's never to my expectations,

of course I'll be disappointed!

What else can I do?

My dear,

life is short,

why not place those expectations on yourself?

Take care of yourself!

Isn't that so?

Don't be so harsh on yourself!

You weren't born to make someone happy!!

Live to be happy on your own.

If you're not HAPPY,

how can you make someone else happy?

Right?

It's alright dear.

Grams is always on your side.

Cheer up!

Chill.

Quit your moping.

To move on,

The best way is to

go for a manslut vacay!

Count me out...

I'm not in the mood for that...

Exactly!

You're not solving the root of the issue.

Let me ask you.

Your problem with Ho Yee stems from:

Do you want to marry her?

I do!

So why don't you, then?

That's right!

I'm afraid to!

You're afraid to?

Useless.

Pure trash.

How can I not be, look at you!

You were so cool when you were single.

Look at him now! What have you become?

- Prassy and whipped! - That's true.

Not only are you in chains,

you've lost yourself!

You used your bros so you can fool around,

even your own daughter, dude!

I don't want to get married and turn into him!

|'m sorry!

I didn't know it was because of me!

Don't be this self-centered!

Don't worry!

Dudes as low as him are hard to come by.

What I'm afraid of,

is that if I marry Ho Yee,

I can't make her happy!

What's your definition of happiness though?

At the very least, provide for her.

So according to you,

dudes like me are hopeless?

Yep!

You live off your wife,

then take her money and feed your other pokemon chicks!

You deserve a horrible death.

You asswad...

So now you know,

and this is what's stopping you?

You're right.

Like me for example,

I live in fear one day my wife will call me out,

but do I stop because of this?

No!

Don't pay attention to him.

Lemme ask you this:

Marry Ho Yee,

no Ho Yee,

which one is more horrible?

No Ho Yee!

I can't live without her!

Yay! The end!

Let's go celebrate in Macau!

Did you not listen? The man wants his girlfriend back!

I heard him!

He wants his girlfriend back,

so shouldn't we celebrate?

You're right!

Fire! Fire!

Did you hear that? Fire!

Great timing,

we should let the firefighters do their thing.

We can still make the 5:30 ferry if we go now.

Hey Guyser, you'll...

Guy? Where's Guy?

Hmm?

Jesus, there's a fire!

We gotta go!

Come on!

For real?

Hey, where's the fire?

This way! Hurry!

- This way! Hurry! - Wait up! I'm spilling!

Just follow the crowd!

Hurry!

Coming coming!

Don't spill my sauce!

Hey!

Hey Guyser! Why did you go back?

I gotta get something!

He went back for his wallet and ID,

for Macau you know!

Oh okay.

Hey be careful!

We'll wait downstairs!

You guys okay?

- You alright? - Scram!

- The smoke didn't get you? - Scram!

You went back for that?

You're taking those to Macau with you?

What about you?

And you?

I'm going to get us a ride.

Hey watch it!

Forget it,

I never understood

why I asked so much of Ho Yee in the past.

"2015 Working Holiday Authorisation Letter." But behind everything she ever wanted,

"2015 Working Holiday Authorisation Letter." she sacrificed something for it

I get it.

I know what to do.

Hey! HEY!

Guyser just left!

The car's this way though!

"2020 Working Holiday Authorisation Letter."

I'm telling you.

She's a bit old alright,

be gentle to her, don't brake so hard okay?

Can you hear me?

Hey can you... just promise me okay?

- Don't slam on the brakes! - Go away!

Gently alright?

Don't forget to tuck her goodnight! With her favorite blankie!

"L-plate - learner driver under instruction."

Ho Yee!

What are you doing here?

I've thought about it long and hard.

You sacrificed your once-in-a-lifetime working holiday

to want a family with me,

but I won't even forgo the biannual derby even once.

I am a prick!

I've always thought

you needed me more than I needed you,

but now I realize,

that I can't live without you!

I'm no longer afraid of marriage,

because I know whatever change

or sacrifice there may be,

we will brave anything together.

Even in fear.

We can brave it together!

I sold my motorcycle,

I'm learning how to drive a car now.

Thank you...

but I don't think we should be back together.

During this time I thought long and hard too,

and marriage truly isn't the point of this all...

The most important thing is

it's what we want to do.

We always listen to other people,

about what to do, what not to do...

have we thought clearly

what we want for ourselves?

Two years will pass in a flash,

let's take this time

to think about

the future...

if we both want the same things.

If we decide we do,

then we'll talk about

getting back together...

alright?

Hey.

Hi, Miss,

how many pieces of luggage do you have?

What are you doing? You're crazy.

I thought about what you said,

and you make no sense.

Wait two years to see if we'll be on the same page?

You know we'll never be on the same page right?

Because my future is you,

and your future is me,

so how would we be the same?

So I've made my decision!

Wherever you go,

I'll go.

If you go on your working holiday

I'll go with you!

Hey Mister,

you're too old for it, you know?

That's even better...

you'll do the working part,

and I'll do the holiday part...

I know you sacrificed a lot for me,

and you should do what you want for yourself,

and I shouldn't stop you...

But if it's two years.

Then I can hardly wait.

Pm PrOPOSiHQ now!

This is a 16-hour flight,

And we will have a wedding.

At each destination that we pass.

We'll have ten weddings.

You'll never get off this plane.

We have to prepare!

You can't just have a wedding like that!

It's all for show.

None of that is important.

It's the person that counts.

"Liverpool FC season ticket."

Marry me.

"Liverpool Game Anfield Stadium."

"This film is dedicated to every to wed or not to wed,"

"forced to wed to-bes."

"Never give up, we are here with you!"

"Brave on!"

Kindall, is it?

Just call me Kinny.

Right. Let's have a chat.

Sure... they have great tea here.

Have you thought about marrying my daughter?

Uh...

yes I have!

Hell no!

That will be tricky...

Clingy, that's good!

What are you saying, Daddy?

I'm just speaking the truth.

Don't worry!

I'll take care of her,

and make her happy!

Well... I can't stop you if you want to kill yourself, son.

Yes, I want this

I want to die.

Dying is too easy!

- I think you should worry about yourself first. - Huh?

Mom's looking for you.

Get down here and help me carry this stuff!

Jerk!

When was this sent?

Three minutes ago.

You're only telling me now? Dammit!

Mr Bersen!

Chanster!

You paid the bill last time. Thank you!

Don't mention it!

The most important is having fun!

But you know...

You owe me one!

Don't you worry!

Man to man, I get it!

We'll never let Mrs Bersen know!

I know Macao by heart

I can lead with my eyes closed.

I know the best sauna around.

Just stick with me.

Is that right?

I'm sticking with you then!

I'm going to do my rounds.

You go do your thing!

Honey, aren't you going upstairs?

If I didn't go get the mail,

How would I know you know the Macao nightlife so well?

I was bluffing!

Only the naive would believe that.

You're beautiful and intelligent.

You won't believe it.

But I do!

Amazing!

Seems like I'm quite the actor!

The only thing about you I'm sure of

ls your acting, actually!

I'm so so.

Why yes, honey...

I still have something to go get

I'll go now!

Come back here!

Yes!

How's your break?

Are you ready?

|'m ready!

Honey...

Yes?

I love you...

Mommy! Mommy!

Wow isn't this the long lost Lizard's Climb?

Come on now,

that's obviously The Snowmobile.

Not bad, you little minx!

Why don't we...

try it...

Whoa... that's gonna sting.

So will you try it or not?

Okay!

It stings!

But it's fun!

IT HURTS!

Guy.

You're married.

And you're about to be married.

So I brought you boys to this Club initiation.

Uncle.

Hey Uncle... you...