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1
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,500
You want to know the future.
2
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:15,740
You want me to be psychic.
There's good money in psychic. So here's the forecast.
3
00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:19,780
That billy goat you bought,
it's pregnant.
4
00:00:54,740 --> 00:00:57,120
"Look left."
5
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:12,900
Your move, Howard. It's just
a little ploy of mine. Mm-hm.
6
00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:15,540
Now Pearl's seen you pass
the house,
7
00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:19,940
she knows that you've gone to me,
not me that's gone to you.
8
00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:22,800
Therefore I can't be up
to anything.
9
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,320
What ARE you up to, Howard?
10
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:29,980
I was wondering if you could
recommend a really quiet pub.
11
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:33,340
That's a contradiction in terms,
these days.
12
00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:38,340
They're all named after
badly-kempt Irishmen, with ambience to match.
13
00:01:38,340 --> 00:01:42,120
Like some really remote
country pub.
14
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:47,080
Somewhere a nature lover could
relax for an hour in the country.
15
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,020
Or even...TWO nature lovers.
16
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:54,460
Well, it's not impossible
to bump accidentally into people.
17
00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:57,620
I mean, where's the harm
in a shared bar meal?
18
00:01:57,620 --> 00:01:59,600
A shared bar meal, Howard?
19
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:06,300
People are stoned
for that in some countries. Wouldn't a picnic be safer?
20
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:11,260
We tried that. I got something
uninvited up me shorts.
21
00:02:11,260 --> 00:02:16,320
IT can't have been too impressed
either. I came out in blebs.
22
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:20,000
Fortunately,
where Pearl wouldn't notice.
23
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:25,420
The Waggoners. Oh, yes!
That's way out.
24
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:32,040
If there's anybody there
they won't be from round here. That sounds ideal, Cleggy.
25
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:37,820
If anyone wonders what Howard's
doing out there, I'll say I like the beer.
26
00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:44,620
They serve terrible beer.
That's why there's nobody there. I wouldn't say terrible.
27
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,700
It's an acquired taste.
28
00:02:54,000 --> 00:03:01,320
They said there was a depression
moving in from the Atlantic. I didn't realise it was you, Billy.
29
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:05,600
My ancestor Robin Hood
would turn in his grave.
30
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:10,140
We get such a low calibre of thief
these days. Don't say that.
31
00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:12,700
They'll start offering GCSEs
in it.
32
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:17,220
Seen the national crime figures
for this half-year? Yes.
33
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:20,700
They said the soft approach would
make a difference.
34
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:24,380
Should people have something
fierce about the house?
35
00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:29,480
How IS Mrs Hardcastle?
D'you think she'd be enough? For most of us!
36
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,040
I suppose that's true.
37
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,500
You have to look on the bright
side.
38
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:39,620
It's nice when a marriage
works out as well as yours.
39
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:50,260
Ooh, you're not what we could
call a neat mover. It's...
40
00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:54,500
It's heavy for a person
with an elongated spine...
41
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:58,700
You're making it clear
you've never been ballet-trained.
42
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,060
Don't let it go!
43
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,580
Oh...! OH...!
44
00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:20,880
I've heard of minibuses,
but that's ridiculous.
45
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,900
HE CRIES OUT
46
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,340
COCK CROWS
47
00:04:52,340 --> 00:04:55,360
GOAT BLEATS
48
00:05:00,660 --> 00:05:05,640
Who is it? If you're going
to be psychic, you should know who it is.
49
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,000
It's me. ..OWW!
50
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:16,040
What d'you keep door locked for?
I get nervous out here. We're Nature's children.
51
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,200
YOU didn't even know
the goat was a female.
52
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:23,560
With goats, the main place
you have to watch is their teeth.
53
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:28,640
Get Babs out of bed. She's not
IN bed! THAT's a good first move!
54
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,720
I like that! We'll have to have
more of that,
55
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,600
now she's on the brink
of her new career. What career?
56
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,920
Showbiz!
57
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:42,980
You are looking at Mr Opportunity
here. I've got her her first gig.
58
00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:46,820
It's not the Palladium, but...
Close your mouth. What?
59
00:05:46,820 --> 00:05:50,280
Close your mouth
and open your ears. You can do it.
60
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:55,120
I know listening's not what you do
best, but just listen to me.
61
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,940
Babs is not interested in showbiz.
62
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:01,360
How can you say that?
63
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:04,040
How do YOU know that?
64
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:08,840
Because she's just packed her
case and gone back to her mother!
65
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:11,440
You let her go?
You let MY star go?!
66
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,080
She's me own sister's girl.
67
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:18,820
I LOVE her! But she's got
all the personality of a turnip!
68
00:06:18,820 --> 00:06:23,040
In addition to which,
she's got NO talents!
69
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:27,240
Oo-oh, WE'RE in a picky mood
this morning, aren't we(?)
70
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,280
How's she getting home?
Getting a lift.
71
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:34,220
Meeting a friend at the pub.
Which pub? I don't know!
72
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:39,080
I'M not psychic! It's only you
who keeps telling people I'm psychic!
73
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,520
I'll be off, then.
74
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,860
You're going golfing, Barry.
75
00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:54,460
How d'you guess(?)
76
00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:58,700
How can you make a joke of it?
It's a sign, Barry.
77
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:02,960
Of what? This rift between us.
78
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,260
What rift between us?
79
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:12,520
You never used to go golfing
BEFORE we were married. I wasn't in the golf club then.
80
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:18,120
What is there about marriage
that makes men want to go out and whack a little ball?
81
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,660
Where did we go wrong?
82
00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:24,200
We haven't gone wrong. You ARE
coming back, aren't you, Barry?
83
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,100
You haven't got
all your worldly goods?
84
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:31,500
You're in love with...
SOMETHING at the office.
85
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:34,580
The new fax machine.
86
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:37,960
I LOVE the new fax machine.
87
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,480
This isn't just a ploy, is it?
88
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,520
You ARE coming back? If I ever
get off, I'm coming back.
89
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,980
I mean today.
90
00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:51,860
Not in eight years' time,
with some excuse about having lost your memory.
91
00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:53,380
I'll be home for lunch.
92
00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:58,620
It's only salad. I'll be home
anyway. As long as you're sure.
93
00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:05,100
I'm not washing lettuce for two
if you're not coming back. I'll be back.
94
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:11,880
And, this afternoon, I'll take you
somewhere really special. Is that a promise? Yes.
95
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,440
You're feeling guilty, Barry!
96
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,960
Why are you feeling guilty?
97
00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:22,780
Penny for them?
98
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:29,260
I was thinking nature is
providential, in arranging that if you need to subdue a person,
99
00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:34,300
he'll have several places ideal
for the purpose. Spare me the details.
100
00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:41,360
Handy in an emergency. Surprising
what tunes can be wrung from a person if you get the right grip.
101
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,300
I'm not cut out for emergencies.
102
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:47,220
I had to retake my honeymoon.
103
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,660
Hello, Barry. Hello, Barry.
104
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:05,020
I need to speak to someone
of long experience. A man of the world. Him.
105
00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:10,640
I'm your man, lad. What seems to
be the problem? I feel so guilty.
106
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,180
Oh, there's a cure for that.
107
00:09:13,180 --> 00:09:16,220
We take you in a room,
read you your rights.
108
00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:20,380
You sign a bit of paper,
it's done. It's nothing criminal.
109
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:24,020
Don't worry about that -
we'll find something.
110
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,980
I feel guilty about golf.
111
00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:29,700
The only proper attitude,
in my opinion.
112
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:34,700
It's Glenda. SHE makes me feel
guilty. That rings a bell.
113
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:41,460
I'm sure I came across a chap
who cured his wife of that. Simpson...or was it Simpkins?
114
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:45,680
What did he do? Buried her
in the garden, actually.
115
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,880
Barry's not got the room.
116
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,040
HORN TOOTS
117
00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:59,520
I'm on the verge
of a breakthrough here, and the talent's gone missing.
118
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:03,860
Slow down, lad. Relax.
Your father had the gift.
119
00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:08,960
Where did it get HIM?! Into a few
places that surprised all of us.
120
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,580
Nora Batty could tell you that!
121
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:17,820
Is that the one that smiles
at me? That's her. He must've had some nerve.
122
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:21,920
I need to find Babs urgently.
She's meeting someone in a pub.
123
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,040
Want folk finding?
You're in the right place.
124
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:31,560
We enjoy the thrill of the chase.
Barry can drive. I should run it past Glenda. Good lad.
125
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:35,700
I'll check the pubs that way.
You check this.
126
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,920
Babs...!
127
00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:44,560
You're taking me
to licensed premises during the hours of daylight?
128
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,100
Without disguise?
129
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:51,700
I'm taking you to a little pub.
(We'll have a bar meal.)
130
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:56,740
I don't have to wear face bandages
and pretend I've been in an accident?
131
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,880
That wasn't a good idea.
Oh, Howard...
132
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:03,960
You're taking me out, unbandaged,
to a public place.
133
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,640
You see? You said I never would.
134
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:12,020
You're going to throw
caution to the winds and risk someone being there?
135
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:14,560
I'll throw caution to the winds,
136
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:19,660
AND risk somebody being there.
Oh, Howard...
137
00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:24,040
It'll be SO nice, your not having
to feed me through a tube.
138
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,260
You see how exciting it is,
Barry?
139
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,720
"The thrill of the chase"?
140
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,380
Huh. Truly said you'd enjoy it.
141
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:43,220
You can't help noticing
what a nice morning it is for golf.
142
00:11:43,220 --> 00:11:49,160
I hope Glenda never learns you're
out scouring the town looking for lost women.
143
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,980
How would she hear that?
144
00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:55,200
Not from me. Well,
I'm not too comfy with it either.
145
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:59,520
You see, Barry, the trouble
with looking for lost women is,
146
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:04,220
if your luck runs out,
you could find one.
147
00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:08,640
She's not there.
Let's try the next one.
148
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:13,580
Think we'll be doing showbiz
a favour if we find her? Babs, I mean.
149
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:18,600
For entertainment, she could come
second to a Stop sign in a blackout.
150
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,900
That's because she frightens you.
151
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:25,480
She frightens ME. Not the kind you
can easily arrange a mortgage for.
152
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:29,320
That type go for older men with
their own houses.
153
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:33,280
Tell her I've got woodworm.
The house is no better.
154
00:12:36,236 --> 00:12:40,776
Now, I need costumes
for one female entertainer,
155
00:12:40,776 --> 00:12:47,276
and I want you to transform
this woman into something mystical and strange.
156
00:12:47,276 --> 00:12:50,576
Strange won't be a problem.
157
00:12:50,576 --> 00:12:55,076
I'm not REALLY mystical.
I'm much happier doing housework.
158
00:12:55,076 --> 00:12:58,176
That was to be our secret.
159
00:12:58,176 --> 00:13:00,736
Then there's the other problem.
160
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:04,476
What problem's that?
Who's paying for all this?
161
00:13:04,476 --> 00:13:08,176
We're not buying, we're hiring.
162
00:13:08,176 --> 00:13:13,456
It'll come out of the proceeds,
won't it? What about security?
163
00:13:13,456 --> 00:13:15,976
And I shall need a deposit.
164
00:13:15,976 --> 00:13:22,596
I can take HIM. HE can work
the crowd for you, circulating leaflets on your behalf.
165
00:13:22,596 --> 00:13:29,176
Oh... D'you think you could do
that? Do what? Circulate a few leaflets round the crowd.
166
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:34,496
Oh... Don't worry, I'll soon
get him going. It's more than I'VE managed.
167
00:13:34,496 --> 00:13:40,876
Can't I circulate the leaflets?
Let HIM be the gypsy. He looks more mystical than I do.
168
00:13:40,876 --> 00:13:44,856
That's not mystery,
that's MISERY.
169
00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:48,496
He's too tall for a gypsy.
170
00:13:48,496 --> 00:13:52,896
They never go that far
from their back pockets.
171
00:13:58,556 --> 00:14:01,796
NOISY CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
172
00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:05,316
It's known locally
as "The Blood and Bucket".
173
00:14:08,516 --> 00:14:11,396
Bet they don't
do nouvelle cuisine!
174
00:14:11,396 --> 00:14:15,056
I bet they don't do
the Geneva Convention.
175
00:14:15,056 --> 00:14:20,796
If you wear a suit in these
places, the trick is to look like it's been stolen.
176
00:14:20,796 --> 00:14:22,276
I really like golf.
177
00:14:22,276 --> 00:14:24,976
I'm liking golf more all the time.
178
00:14:24,976 --> 00:14:29,196
Oh, come on, be fair. Finding
people is very interesting.
179
00:14:29,196 --> 00:14:32,016
Finding them ALIVE would be nice.
180
00:14:32,016 --> 00:14:35,276
(You're making the lad nervous.)
181
00:14:35,276 --> 00:14:37,736
I wouldn't say nervous.
182
00:14:37,736 --> 00:14:40,816
Petrified is closer.
183
00:14:40,816 --> 00:14:47,596
It's all right, Barry.
I've spent my life asking questions in rough streets.
184
00:14:47,596 --> 00:14:51,816
Shouldn't we raise a white flag,
or something?
185
00:14:51,816 --> 00:14:56,136
All right, then, off you go,
Barry. See if she's there.
186
00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:58,416
Me?! Why me?
187
00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:01,056
I look too much like a policeman.
188
00:15:01,056 --> 00:15:07,336
If I go in asking questions,
people will only lie. They'll only steal your wallet.
189
00:15:07,336 --> 00:15:11,496
If ever I get home,
I'm never going out again.
190
00:15:11,496 --> 00:15:13,916
I'll surf the Internet.
191
00:15:16,256 --> 00:15:23,676
Catch 'em off guard while they're
distracted, going through your pockets. Ask your questions then.
192
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:34,976
WOMEN SCREAM
193
00:15:37,576 --> 00:15:40,176
LOUD CRASH
194
00:16:07,776 --> 00:16:09,976
'Two teas, please, Ivy.'
195
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:17,676
Oh, he IS like his father.
196
00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:20,156
He gives me cold shivers.
197
00:16:20,156 --> 00:16:22,656
(..Listen who's talking!)
198
00:16:24,256 --> 00:16:30,536
Two teas, the animal ordered.
What will YOU have? Are you listening, Waldo?
199
00:16:30,536 --> 00:16:36,736
It's the thing that Waldo's
noticed most since we came up here. The sense of humour.
200
00:16:36,736 --> 00:16:42,056
Tight with their money,
but free with the funnies. Waldo's noticed?
201
00:16:42,056 --> 00:16:44,436
Never misses a trick.
202
00:16:45,916 --> 00:16:51,136
He looks like her from the
dry-cleaner's. Same hairdresser(!)
203
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:56,196
Does he take sugar(?) One of those
is for my associate, Mrs Avery.
204
00:16:56,196 --> 00:17:02,316
She's outside, distributing
announcements. She'll be in soon...for private consultations.
205
00:17:02,316 --> 00:17:05,736
Advice on affairs of the heart.
206
00:17:05,736 --> 00:17:10,736
Has she anything for arthritis?
Or blebs in wallpaper?
207
00:17:10,736 --> 00:17:14,276
You're giving up too soon,
ladies.
208
00:17:14,276 --> 00:17:16,816
Mr Right could still be out
there.
209
00:17:16,816 --> 00:17:19,676
And he'll be STOPPING out there.
210
00:17:19,676 --> 00:17:25,376
What announcement's
she distributing? Sensational new singing act,
211
00:17:25,376 --> 00:17:30,456
appearing at this venue
for one engagement only. Tell your friends.
212
00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:41,356
Oh, I'd love to come.
I could never refuse your father anything.
213
00:17:41,356 --> 00:17:47,696
Don't lie! You always kept him
at arm's length. Needed to be further than that.
214
00:17:47,696 --> 00:17:53,176
But I could never refuse him
anything...at a safe distance.
215
00:17:53,176 --> 00:18:00,856
Ah. Well, now, I can either
pay cash, or in return for your delicious all-day breakfast,
216
00:18:00,856 --> 00:18:05,976
Mrs Avery could probe
the mysteries of the infinite for you. Cash!
217
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:16,656
It's wonderful what they can do
with wood stain, these days.
218
00:18:16,656 --> 00:18:22,936
I thought she was paler. I AM
paler than this. It's HIS idea.
219
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:28,996
I'm supposed to look mystic East.
You look great, love! I look like a badly smoked kipper!
220
00:18:31,216 --> 00:18:36,256
They go a bundle on kippers
in this area. Oh, Loli...
221
00:18:36,256 --> 00:18:40,356
Trust me.
I've done the market research.
222
00:18:40,356 --> 00:18:43,056
These things aren't left to
chance.
223
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:45,736
Besides, if we don't find Babs,
224
00:18:45,736 --> 00:18:49,176
YOU are gonna have to go
and do your seven veils.
225
00:18:49,176 --> 00:18:52,936
I aren't wearing seven.
Well, the shorter version.
226
00:18:52,936 --> 00:18:57,416
(I told you last time...!)
I'm not doing that any more!
227
00:18:57,416 --> 00:19:00,636
Don't like people seeing
my appendix scar.
228
00:19:00,636 --> 00:19:05,116
If I made it look like a snake,
we could bring it into the act.
229
00:19:05,116 --> 00:19:07,576
NO! Never again. Never.
230
00:19:07,576 --> 00:19:10,116
Can you do bird impressions?
231
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:14,076
I want us to settle down
and have a normal life.
232
00:19:14,076 --> 00:19:15,576
I AM working on it.
233
00:19:15,576 --> 00:19:18,176
I'd be good to a fitted kitchen.
234
00:19:18,176 --> 00:19:20,796
I could go back to me own colour.
235
00:19:20,796 --> 00:19:24,536
You'd have no cause
for complaints about my work surfaces.
236
00:19:24,536 --> 00:19:25,816
I never HAD.
237
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:29,836
Nobody cares
about your appendix scar. I do!
238
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,016
I'd like it back
where it belongs.
239
00:19:32,016 --> 00:19:34,136
Under a nicely starched apron.
240
00:19:40,296 --> 00:19:44,936
Relax, love. What trouble
can your Barry have got into?
241
00:19:44,936 --> 00:19:49,376
I wish I could've found someone
so backward at being forward.
242
00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:56,576
With skirts THAT tight,
you weren't looking for backward. The good ones need a jump-start.
243
00:19:56,576 --> 00:20:01,896
I hadn't bargained for
the emergency services always arriving first.
244
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:05,456
I rang the golf club.
He's not there.
245
00:20:05,456 --> 00:20:08,016
You've had a row.
246
00:20:08,016 --> 00:20:12,196
Not...REALLY a row.
Well, that's it, then.
247
00:20:12,196 --> 00:20:17,136
He's off sulking. They have their
favourite sulking places to go to.
248
00:20:17,136 --> 00:20:21,456
Usually with women. Oh!
Oh, I was only joking.
249
00:20:21,456 --> 00:20:24,016
He's not the type for other women.
250
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:26,756
He works for a building society.
251
00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:30,776
They're ALL the type.
Unless it's your Wesley,
252
00:20:30,776 --> 00:20:35,936
who isn't interested,
unless they've parts he can undo with his spanner.
253
00:20:35,936 --> 00:20:37,656
I don't know where he is.
254
00:20:37,656 --> 00:20:41,736
One thing I AM sure of,
my Barry's not with other women.
255
00:20:41,736 --> 00:20:44,636
He's allergic to other women.
256
00:20:44,636 --> 00:20:50,376
He has to start training
in October, just to get through the office Xmas party!
257
00:20:53,476 --> 00:20:57,616
You did a great job finding Babs,
Barry!
258
00:20:57,616 --> 00:21:01,576
A service which cries out
for some token of recognition.
259
00:21:01,576 --> 00:21:04,896
I'd be happy with
a game of golf. We'll do better.
260
00:21:11,716 --> 00:21:18,416
I'm hoping to catch a
glimpse of the spotted hedge creeper. You usually do.
261
00:21:18,416 --> 00:21:23,456
She's been spotted creeping from
hedges more than a few times.
262
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:26,016
Well, I must be off.
263
00:21:26,016 --> 00:21:30,076
It could probably be
a long, hard day.
264
00:21:30,076 --> 00:21:36,476
And YOU could be in for a long,
hard night, if you come back with any feathers on you.
265
00:21:47,736 --> 00:21:50,576
Come on, Barry, let's be away.
266
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:53,056
Before BABS reappears.
267
00:21:53,056 --> 00:22:00,156
You don't think they're keeping
Barry prisoner in that bus? Why don't you go and find out? No!
268
00:22:00,156 --> 00:22:02,656
We'll give him a few more days.
269
00:22:02,656 --> 00:22:06,296
You're getting a thing
about that girl.
270
00:22:06,296 --> 00:22:09,976
She's just
one of today's young women.
271
00:22:09,976 --> 00:22:12,616
Terrifying, isn't it?
272
00:22:15,356 --> 00:22:20,996
Do I hear applause? Is this
showbiz or IS this showbiz?
273
00:22:20,996 --> 00:22:25,756
When you get that touch of
something slightly menacing to go with it,
274
00:22:25,756 --> 00:22:27,936
to set off your femininity.
275
00:22:27,936 --> 00:22:30,376
Femininity?!
276
00:22:30,376 --> 00:22:34,776
If they don't shave,
that's as close as girls get.
277
00:22:40,456 --> 00:22:44,876
You're not sensitive to my needs.
So I miss one, occasionally.
278
00:22:44,876 --> 00:22:51,276
I'm still waiting for that
eternity ring. Well, if it's for eternity, what's the hurry?
279
00:22:51,276 --> 00:22:55,876
I haven't a decent set of place
mats and these earrings are heavy.
280
00:22:55,876 --> 00:22:58,396
They look great -
leave 'em on. Oh.
281
00:22:58,396 --> 00:23:04,676
I suppose it's OK
if they drag me underwater(!) Why should you be in water?
282
00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:09,096
What if a bridge collapses and
I end up in a river, or something?
283
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:13,176
I'll tell you what.
THEN you can take 'em off.
284
00:23:14,376 --> 00:23:18,756
Don't you think somebody
ought to check on Barry?
285
00:23:18,756 --> 00:23:23,776
I only ask on account
of his tendency to get talked into things.
286
00:23:23,776 --> 00:23:27,876
As we ALL do,
short of actually spending money.
287
00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:34,476
Look at THIS!
288
00:23:34,476 --> 00:23:36,956
I hope Glenda's not got company.
289
00:23:36,956 --> 00:23:41,196
Didn't he used to ride
with the Lone Ranger?
290
00:23:41,196 --> 00:23:44,996
Be fair. He's still
more feminine than Babs.
291
00:23:44,996 --> 00:23:48,516
That's it! That's terrific,
Barry!
292
00:23:48,516 --> 00:23:52,496
You've got just
the required air of menace.
293
00:23:55,356 --> 00:23:57,856
Do you need the glasses? I do!
294
00:23:57,856 --> 00:24:01,936
I DO need the glasses. Haven't you
got a more sinister pair?
295
00:24:01,936 --> 00:24:05,096
Another pair like this.
Can you look vicious?
296
00:24:05,096 --> 00:24:07,516
Short-sighted, but vicious.
297
00:24:15,056 --> 00:24:18,036
How far is it to the pub, Howard?
298
00:24:18,036 --> 00:24:21,016
Nobody's going to see us out here.
299
00:24:21,016 --> 00:24:27,436
Just a couple of bird-watchers
dropping in for a bar meal. We'll NEED a meal!
300
00:24:27,436 --> 00:24:31,176
If you see anybody,
they'll all be strangers.
301
00:24:31,176 --> 00:24:34,156
Any further,
they'll be foreigners!
302
00:24:34,156 --> 00:24:38,916
If anybody asks, just remember
what we're looking for.
303
00:24:38,916 --> 00:24:43,096
Could that be romance, Howard?
Mad, stolen moments.
304
00:24:43,096 --> 00:24:47,136
Actually,
it's the spotted hedge creeper.
305
00:24:47,136 --> 00:24:51,016
Try and commit that to memory.
It's our cover story.
306
00:24:51,016 --> 00:24:52,716
Look for what you want.
307
00:24:52,716 --> 00:24:57,916
I'll keep looking for what
every girl wants. In moderation, of course.
308
00:25:04,936 --> 00:25:09,156
Lucky I were passing. Oh, how
long's it going to take?
309
00:25:09,156 --> 00:25:12,416
You can't put a time
on these things. TRY.
310
00:25:12,416 --> 00:25:15,656
Ask Mrs Avery. She's psychic.
311
00:25:15,656 --> 00:25:22,156
I don't care if it NEVER starts.
I like it here. It's nice country. We ARE stopping here.
312
00:25:22,156 --> 00:25:25,256
The damn van's
putting down roots!
313
00:25:25,256 --> 00:25:27,876
I was supposed
to be playing golf.
314
00:25:27,876 --> 00:25:34,176
I wouldn't go in THAT rig, Barry.
You won't get through the clubhouse without a tie.
315
00:25:38,096 --> 00:25:41,296
TOOTS HORN
316
00:25:48,036 --> 00:25:52,256
Hey-up, Barry,
don't forget your guitar.
317
00:25:53,516 --> 00:25:57,616
Haven't ridden this for a while,
but as it's an emergency...
318
00:26:00,756 --> 00:26:04,136
It certainly FEELS like an
emergency.
319
00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:12,256
I think this is ideal.
320
00:26:12,256 --> 00:26:15,336
Just a few customers...and us.
321
00:26:15,336 --> 00:26:20,456
The landlord KNOWS we're just
bird-watchers. He ought to.
322
00:26:20,456 --> 00:26:25,796
You left bird-watching books
on his counter. Just a little deception.
323
00:26:25,796 --> 00:26:31,716
You're wicked, Howard! Bringing
a girl to these remote places.
324
00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:37,376
It's in quiet places like this
that people can have quiet conversations.
325
00:26:37,376 --> 00:26:39,876
He's talking me into something.
326
00:26:39,876 --> 00:26:42,236
No, he's not.
327
00:26:42,236 --> 00:26:44,476
Correction.
328
00:26:44,476 --> 00:26:46,796
No, he's not.
329
00:26:46,796 --> 00:26:49,376
We can just enjoy the privacy.
330
00:26:49,376 --> 00:26:52,036
And the quiet...
331
00:26:52,036 --> 00:26:58,916
TUNELESS SHOUTING
DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME, BABY? COS I REALLY LOVE YOU!
332
00:26:58,916 --> 00:27:02,076
COME ON AND LOVE ME
LO-O-OVE!
333
00:27:20,736 --> 00:27:23,456
D'you think we need new material?
334
00:27:23,456 --> 00:27:25,976
Maybe it was the frock.
335
00:27:25,976 --> 00:27:30,336
Voice were clashing with
the frock. Talking of clashes...
336
00:27:37,516 --> 00:27:39,836
Barry!
337
00:27:41,656 --> 00:27:44,096
He's NEVER been golfing!
338
00:27:48,616 --> 00:27:51,176
I've heard of being
in the ROUGH...
339
00:27:51,176 --> 00:27:53,576
but that's overdoing it.
340
00:27:59,816 --> 00:28:02,576
SHE wants to stop.
341
00:28:02,576 --> 00:28:05,156
But what d'you do round here?
342
00:28:05,156 --> 00:28:07,656
I dunno, but the days soon go.
343
00:28:07,656 --> 00:28:11,816
But they go as well here
as anywhere.
344
00:28:11,816 --> 00:28:14,396
We're not ALWAYS so quiet.
345
00:28:14,396 --> 00:28:16,816
You'll see,
come buttercup milking.
346
00:28:16,816 --> 00:28:19,916
Come WHAT? It's all go then.
347
00:28:19,916 --> 00:28:23,096
Dawn till dusk.
It's not all work, mind you.
348
00:28:23,096 --> 00:28:26,296
There's dancing
and singing in the fields.
349
00:28:26,296 --> 00:28:28,536
Crowning the buttercup queen.
350
00:28:28,536 --> 00:28:30,796
The hills are alive to the sound
351
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:32,896
of music. And leather trousers.
352
00:28:32,896 --> 00:28:34,776
You'll need a set of bells.
353
00:28:34,776 --> 00:28:36,576
For what? Your trousers.
354
00:28:36,576 --> 00:28:38,396
We wear bells that week.
355
00:28:38,396 --> 00:28:40,196
You're pulling me chain.
356
00:28:40,196 --> 00:28:43,396
For that week only,
bells are compulsory.
357
00:28:43,396 --> 00:28:46,796
No male is allowed
to move unless he tinkles.
358
00:28:46,796 --> 00:28:49,276
It all goes back
to the Dark Ages.
359
00:28:49,276 --> 00:28:51,396
They were desperate to find
360
00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:54,656
some way to stop
bumping into each other.
361
00:28:54,656 --> 00:28:58,896
I'll have to watch
meself round here.
362
00:28:58,946 --> 00:29:03,496
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