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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,740
Now, that's what I call
an interesting omelette.
2
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:09,240
You learnt this in the police?
3
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,460
Under cover from a Madame Fifi.
4
00:00:12,460 --> 00:00:14,700
Oh, so this is a foreign recipe?
5
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:18,500
Oh, she was more foreign than that.
6
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,960
Hey, listen!
SIRENS WAIL
7
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,820
They're playing your song.
8
00:00:31,780 --> 00:00:33,300
You're just in time.
9
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,260
That's what we do best.
10
00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:37,620
Two bacon butties...piping hot.
11
00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:41,180
Mmm, lovely.
12
00:00:53,340 --> 00:00:54,900
Excuse me.
13
00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:57,020
Fella told me to give you this.
14
00:01:02,260 --> 00:01:03,820
"Hello, Mother!"
15
00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:09,180
How much did he pay you?
16
00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:11,640
50p. Is there any reply?
17
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,340
Yes. Tell him I promised
he'd give you �2.
18
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,020
He's gone quiet.
19
00:01:55,020 --> 00:01:58,120
Suits him.
Should do it more often.
20
00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:03,320
He's not been the same since
he had to give that kid �2.
21
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,380
It was Mother's wish.
22
00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:08,800
I don't think she wished you
to ask the kid for your 50p back.
23
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:13,100
Be quiet.
I'm getting some memories back.
24
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,520
Oh, you mean you're making up
a story.
25
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:19,060
I'm not making these things up.
They're memories.
26
00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:23,880
Confusing, mysterious,
returning snatches of memory.
27
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,160
Not only twitches, but has snatches.
28
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,260
I got this twitch
in the service of my country.
29
00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:34,440
Yeah, well, never mind the
twitch...what's the snatch?
30
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,460
Let us hear it,
now you've dreamed it up.
31
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:41,780
Budapest. I met her in Budapest.
There was a house with a door...
32
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:43,720
Oh, that's unusual.
33
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,720
It is down Hackett Street.
34
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,440
A door with an Art Nouveau design.
35
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,060
There was blood on it.
36
00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:54,200
Sounds like Hackett Street.
37
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,580
It was mine.
38
00:02:56,580 --> 00:03:00,780
The door? You met her in
Budapest and she gave you a door?
39
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,000
The blood was mine.
40
00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:10,200
She does the best bacon butty
this side of heaven.
41
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,680
Well, Blackpool, anyway.
42
00:03:15,620 --> 00:03:17,720
Didn't this door use to
have a mirror?
43
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,540
Course it has a mirror.
44
00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:23,040
Not any more.
Some lowlife's nicked your mirror.
45
00:03:25,820 --> 00:03:29,380
How come it's my mirror?
You're the driver.
46
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:33,240
It's at your side.
I look after my mirror.
47
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:46,300
He's gone again. Budapest.
48
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:49,460
Probably.
She nursed me back to health.
49
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:53,100
You're always fussing about your
ailments. You call that health?
50
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:56,440
All right, she nursed me back
to reasonable health.
51
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:58,120
It was a bad chest mainly.
52
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,580
HE COUGHS
53
00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:04,300
The kidneys are a lot better.
I haven't had the spots for ages.
54
00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:07,060
So who was she?
I can't remember her name.
55
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:11,500
All I know is she nursed me
at great personal risk.
56
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,660
They'd have shot her
if they'd caught her.
57
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:16,740
I'd have shot her
if she'd left me with a bad chest.
58
00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:20,180
That wasn't her fault.
I had that before I went.
59
00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:23,280
You went to Budapest
with a bad chest?
60
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,380
I lied about my health.
61
00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:29,380
If I'd told Q,
he'd have pulled me off operations and given me a desk job.
62
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,280
Hi, Morton!
63
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,220
Did you have to shout to him?
64
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,560
You know how sensitive
he is to being ignored.
65
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,980
What was it...sniper?
66
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:56,000
Don't move him until
I've checked his spine.
67
00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:03,640
Where'd you come from?
The alley. Can you hear me, Morton?
68
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,140
There might be concussion.
Can you tell me your name?
69
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:11,080
Herman Teasdale. No, dammit,
it's not! I'm Morton Beamish.
70
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,980
They've got me doing it now.
71
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:17,120
Are you hurt, Morton?
Hurt! I'm mortified.
72
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,980
Fancy forgetting your own name.
73
00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:23,080
You've only just changed it.
Well, that's no excuse.
74
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,840
I'm a wimp.
75
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,840
I hope you're not lying on those
suits from the cleaners, Morton.
76
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:33,200
No, I saved them, Toby.
I took the fall.
77
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,000
Good man.
78
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,260
Down. Down!
79
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,480
What is it?
80
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:49,400
I thought I saw a curtain twitch
five doors down.
81
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,560
Could have been a rifle behind it.
82
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:56,560
What were you doing in the alley,
Mr Hobdyke?
83
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,180
Taking advantage of available cover.
84
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:02,220
Comes as second nature to me.
85
00:06:02,220 --> 00:06:05,300
I see Toby's not back
with his wife yet.
86
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:10,120
No, and it's time he was,
before he works Morton to death.
87
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,680
Leave it with me.
I'll think of something.
88
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,400
Bird watching, Howard?
It's a harmless interest.
89
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,520
Not way you do it.
90
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,260
Howard...just my man.
91
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:57,480
I must warn you,
I won't do anything illegal.
92
00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,760
I like that in a person, don't you?
93
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:05,960
As if we would ask! No...this is an
intelligence-gathering operation.
94
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,680
For intelligence you choose Howard?
95
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,960
Howard is perfectly placed
for this mission.
96
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,320
I'm as intelligent as the next man.
97
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,480
Even Pearl admits I've got a brain.
98
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,480
Just wonders where you left it.
99
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,300
Enough, team! Stop teasing.
100
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,680
Now...Howard first question -
101
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,200
is my mother over at your place?
102
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,520
Nelly says she's not your mother.
103
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,500
She's in denial.
104
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:37,440
We've got to help her. We? We've
got to jog her memory - correction.
105
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,040
You've got to jog her memory.
106
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,040
When she's in there with Pearl,
107
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,180
I want you to start them
reminiscing.
108
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:45,420
See what you can learn
about Mother's past.
109
00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:47,580
In particular,
any mention of my father.
110
00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:49,840
I'm sorry, I've got an appointment.
111
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,940
Guess who. I deny that.
112
00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:54,360
I would too.
113
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,320
You do this little favour for me,
114
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,400
and I could offer you in return
the use of my van.
115
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,680
Your van?
116
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,780
For your appointment.
117
00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:10,120
No need for hiding
in the bushes, Howard.
118
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,640
I don't know what
he's talking about.
119
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:23,000
I never imagined I'd be reduced
to driving an automotive slum.
120
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:27,700
She's not a bad little runner.
That's the wife.
121
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:33,740
This thing is the appalling
cost of divorce... the separation of the loved one.
122
00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:37,980
That conniving witch got my Jaguar.
123
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:40,180
Mine took everything.
124
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:43,420
Never mind...we have each other.
125
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,740
Are you under the impression
that you're offering me comfort?
126
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:52,980
I think it's nice
how well we get on.
127
00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:54,240
You're sick, Morton.
128
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,500
I've enough trouble denying
ownership of the car.
129
00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:01,460
She's good mechanically
and appearances aren't everything.
130
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:05,280
Where'd you get these ideas?
Of course they're everything.
131
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:10,240
Stick with me, Morton,
you'll benefit from my experience.
132
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:14,900
Actually, I'd rather have
that �50 you borrowed.
133
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,180
It's been on my mind night and day.
134
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,660
As I see it is on yours.
135
00:09:35,820 --> 00:09:37,800
Been working on your problem, Toby.
136
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,640
Which one?
137
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,620
How to get you back to your wife.
138
00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:45,080
She's putting up some
resistance at the moment.
139
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,740
I phoned her this morning.
140
00:09:46,740 --> 00:09:50,280
Gave her both barrels
of the famous charm.
141
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,300
All I got was abuse.
142
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:56,380
He can be charming.
He gets me every time.
143
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:59,660
Oh, do be quiet, Morton.
144
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:04,520
You'll have to excuse him,
he hero worships me.
145
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,540
I don't. You do.
You told Mrs Arnold.
146
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:11,260
She'd no right to say anything.
147
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,940
Staff problems now!
148
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:20,400
You're on your own with that
but wives I can help with.
149
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,480
Now, she won't meet you
by arrangement,
150
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,420
therefore,
it has to seem accidental.
151
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:31,280
Leave it with me. I'll be in touch.
152
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,780
Wagons roll!
153
00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:38,020
THUD!
154
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,860
Slowly.
155
00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:11,420
What?
We're looking for a car door mirror.
156
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:14,340
Have you had one offered for sale?
157
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,700
No. Who's lost one?
158
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:20,420
Oh, I see!
159
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,920
The Mystery of the Car Door Mirror.
160
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:30,600
No, we haven't been offered one,
but never mind, I'm on the case.
161
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:34,060
I shall be your eyes and ears.
162
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:38,020
We'll have to get one back on
before we hand the car in.
163
00:11:38,020 --> 00:11:40,580
They haven't forgiven us
for the last one.
164
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:44,060
We're going to have to buy one.
They won't have one here.
165
00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:49,200
I heard that.
Of course we've got one. What is it?
166
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,820
It's a car door mirror.
Ah! Car door mirror.
167
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:55,320
Near side.
168
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,460
Oh, can't do that.
I knew they wouldn't have one.
169
00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:01,580
You'll have to buy the pair.
170
00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:04,080
She's got us over a barrel.
171
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,940
It's better than going back
with only one mirror.
172
00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:08,880
Can you fit them?
173
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,880
Can you leave the car
for half an hour?
174
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,720
Half an hour.
175
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,500
Out there without the car?
176
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:22,640
It's an emergency.
I wouldn't ask otherwise.
177
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,900
You feel so snug in the car.
178
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:29,600
We could patrol on foot
for a few minutes. Where?
179
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,760
Somewhere quiet.
180
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,520
There must be somewhere quiet.
181
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:40,940
One rose? When Nelly arrives you're
going to give her one tatty rose?
182
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:44,540
It's not tatty. Every time you
twitch it loses another petal.
183
00:12:44,540 --> 00:12:48,800
Tell her rest of bunch in accident.
Got run over.
184
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:53,500
Who's going to run over
a bunch of roses? Freak accident.
185
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,760
With what? OK. Not run over.
186
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,300
Caught in automatic door.
That's better.
187
00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:02,340
Everything that needs to be said
may be said by one single rose.
188
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,660
Here she comes. Right? OK?
189
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:12,740
May this rose mark the wonder of
our discovering each other...er...
190
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:21,400
This area looks quiet.
It looks quiet now,
191
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:26,460
but the minute they see us, they'll
start coming out of the woodwork with all kinds of complaints.
192
00:13:26,460 --> 00:13:30,460
We tell them we don't do complaints.
We're doing reassuring presence.
193
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:32,620
But they take advantage of you.
194
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:35,560
They can't just say good morning,
195
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:40,160
they start asking for directions
or reporting criminal offences.
196
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:43,300
You smile...presenting an air
of calm confidence.
197
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,500
You tell them we've got it covered.
198
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:49,320
We know all about it. Excuse me.
199
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,800
You know what's still going
on at number 28, I suppose?
200
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,600
There's not much happens on this
patch that we don't hear about.
201
00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:01,140
All hours of the night.
It's in hand. We're onto it.
202
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,620
She's got karaoke now.
203
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:05,880
Leave it to us.
204
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,820
Karaoke?
205
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,360
It was 21 a yard.
206
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:26,040
21 a yard? Hm...
207
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,460
What are you lurking about for?
208
00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:33,980
I wouldn't call it a lurk.
I live here.
209
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:38,780
Well, go live in the kitchen.
Put the kettle on.
210
00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:49,540
He's listening in again.
They'll have put him up to it.
211
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,500
They're trying to find out
more about you.
212
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,980
What you were up to
when you were young.
213
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:59,140
Right, then. Let's give them
something to talk about.
214
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,580
You thought he was Mr Wonderful?
215
00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:07,040
Well,
when you're young and daft you do.
216
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,140
You do.
217
00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:13,660
You do all sorts of things
you might regret later.
218
00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:21,120
Where are you going now? That's
three times you've wandered through.
219
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,860
Well, I'm sorry, I'm sure.
220
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:30,760
So, what was he like,
this Mr Wonderful?
221
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,900
It was the '60s.
222
00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:37,220
He had a guitar
and a flower in his hair.
223
00:15:37,220 --> 00:15:40,800
Oh, lovely hair -
down to his shoulders.
224
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,720
Yes, I had one like that.
225
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,020
You've got Howard spying for you?
226
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:49,140
A little intelligence gathering.
227
00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:52,100
He needs all he can gather.
228
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:57,780
What are you planning to do with
this information if Howard gets any?
229
00:15:57,780 --> 00:16:00,900
Information is the key
to most problems.
230
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:03,520
Howard's not the key
to most problems.
231
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,620
This time he has incentive.
232
00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:07,200
Use of Hobbo's van.
233
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,340
You're bribing him now.
That doesn't sound like me.
234
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:16,680
You fired him up with this vision
of a boudoir on wheels.
235
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,060
As if I would!
236
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:23,640
My thoughts were...if a man needs
transport for his insect studies...
237
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,500
What?
238
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:38,000
One car door mirror as promised.
That's great.
239
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:42,280
We love it.
Save all sorts of unpleasant enquiries by the inspector.
240
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,260
Who's inclined to be unreasonable.
241
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,560
Well? Shh.
242
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:18,840
What did you learn? They say that
Toby's wife is missing him so much
243
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,260
she can be heard singing all day
244
00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:24,480
and she gets her hair done
twice a week.
245
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,960
Right! Hang on!
246
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,280
Barry. Ace Hobdyke.
247
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:39,180
Now my spies tell me that
Toby's ex-wife is often at the hairdressers.
248
00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:44,840
Might be an ideal spot
for him to bump into her as we said we'd arrange.
249
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:49,220
Can I leave it with you? Cos I
have a debriefing to attend to.
250
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:54,020
Good man. Take the usual precautions
in case this transmission is being monitored. Bye!
251
00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,740
Said I'd help him.
You see what teamwork can do.
252
00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:03,000
Help who? Toby.
253
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,640
I've made it my business to get
those two lovebirds together.
254
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,480
I don't think she's all that keen
on having Toby back.
255
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,460
That's all a bluff.
It's all a facade.
256
00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:14,520
She'll be broken-hearted. Trust me.
257
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,580
Now, what did you learn
about Mother?
258
00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:18,860
Well, it wasn't easy.
259
00:18:18,860 --> 00:18:21,420
They're a suspicious pair.
260
00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:23,340
But what I did learn...
261
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:26,900
Not here. I'm too much of a target.
262
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:30,300
I've been out here too long.
What kind of target?
263
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:35,120
You don't want to know. The less you
know about me, the safer you'll be.
264
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:45,120
Thinks he's a target...maybe we
should give him some evidence.
265
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:48,480
We could see flash of sunlight
on telescopic sight.
266
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,840
Mysterious stranger
asking for Hobdyke.
267
00:18:56,280 --> 00:19:01,900
You'll no doubt be hearing about
my affair with hippy ladies.
268
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:05,660
Just remember it's
an invented hippy.
269
00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:09,160
D'you think they swallowed it?
Howard did.
270
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,460
Mind you, his critical faculties
aren't all that sharp.
271
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:16,280
It's believable. It was the '60s.
272
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,900
Anything could happen in the '60s.
And often did.
273
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:23,660
I remember the '60s.
274
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:28,060
Everything went daft and it's been
getting worse ever since.
275
00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:31,600
I remember the '60s.
I got a new oven.
276
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,480
Is that it?
277
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,600
Is that all the '60s meant to you?
278
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,580
It was a good oven.
279
00:19:39,580 --> 00:19:42,300
You weren't touched
by flower power then?
280
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:43,860
Only self-raising.
281
00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:49,840
The '60s have gone
but we're all still cleaning...
282
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,560
doing the washing, making ends meet.
283
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:56,100
Yeah, the real things don't change.
284
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:59,860
You never thought of taking up
guitar lessons then?
285
00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:03,160
What about beads?
Did you wear a lot of beads?
286
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,560
Well, I always wore too much bling.
287
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,820
I mean, it was compulsory
for pub landladies.
288
00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:11,060
So, Ivy never went wild then?
289
00:20:11,060 --> 00:20:13,700
Yes, I did. I told you.
290
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,680
I bought a new oven.
291
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,280
It's not easy
eavesdropping on those two.
292
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,420
Well, go on, go on.
What did you learn?
293
00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:30,380
I had to be extremely crafty and
make it look like I wasn't at all interested in what they were saying.
294
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,280
Well, go on. What were they saying?
295
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,700
I think I pulled it off.
296
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:39,360
I think they hardly realised
I was there.
297
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,800
Stop with the commercials, Howard.
298
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,120
Get to the meat.
299
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:47,040
They were talking about the '60s.
300
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,660
Flower Power. Sick.
301
00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:52,740
Summer of Love. I'm with Truly.
302
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:55,380
Go on.
303
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:59,200
And Nelly was in love
with this very handsome...
304
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,500
Dad!
305
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,580
That could be dad.
306
00:21:03,580 --> 00:21:07,380
Handsome. Sounds like dad.
307
00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:09,780
A hippy.
308
00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:12,600
Long hair. The full gear.
309
00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:16,880
A hippy.
310
00:21:24,860 --> 00:21:26,800
You want to look like your father?
311
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:30,880
Now isn't that going to be tricky,
since you've never known your father?
312
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:36,000
Not all that sure about his mother.
Yes, I am. I'm practically certain.
313
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,380
You'll see, when she sees me
looking like father.
314
00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:42,760
So how do you know
what he looks like?
315
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,340
If I have to guess that'll be extra.
316
00:21:45,340 --> 00:21:47,700
I have a description.
From Mother's own lips.
317
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:52,320
A midget with a big nose.
Must have had a nice personality.
318
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:55,180
He was tall, handsome...
319
00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:56,980
Dippy.
320
00:21:56,980 --> 00:21:59,740
Hippy. Sorry.
321
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:02,020
Ah, hippy! You're in luck then.
322
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:05,420
We have an extensive hippy section.
323
00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:07,020
Since when?
324
00:22:07,020 --> 00:22:09,040
I don't tell you everything.
325
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:13,080
Right, now.
We'll start with the accessories.
326
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,240
You'll need a guitar.
I don't need a guitar.
327
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:20,080
Oh, well, if you're
cutting corners already.
328
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,620
I might have known.
Hippy on a budget.
329
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:27,880
This must be one of the world's major
areas for being careful with money.
330
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,800
You should know.
331
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,900
Moustache?
332
00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:36,760
No, I can't be certain
he had a moustache.
333
00:22:38,460 --> 00:22:42,020
I can see him wearing
lots of pagan jewellery.
334
00:22:42,020 --> 00:22:43,760
Big earrings.
335
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:49,660
I don't want earrings. What kind
of hippy doesn't have earrings?
336
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:55,180
Oh, all right,
but only something I can wear for everyday when this is over.
337
00:22:55,180 --> 00:22:57,480
Hitman wears earrings.
338
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:01,420
Not in close combat. I bet
that's a relief for the enemy.
339
00:23:03,940 --> 00:23:06,780
I'm getting the picture now.
340
00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:10,200
I can see you carrying a briefcase.
341
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,520
Why would you see a hippy
carrying a briefcase?
342
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:16,060
Because she's got a briefcase
she can't get rid of.
343
00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:17,760
Not to mention certain staff.
344
00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:21,920
I think I might need more hair.
345
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,340
Oh, there's no might about it.
You do need more hair.
346
00:23:25,340 --> 00:23:30,280
And we can really go to town on it,
since it won't be getting fast in your guitar.
347
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:37,160
She'll never forgive you.
You should have taken the guitar.
348
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,560
I only need enough
to startle Mother.
349
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:43,000
Looks startled to me
every time she sees you.
350
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,860
She'll think it's dear old Dad.
351
00:23:44,860 --> 00:23:49,060
And then the shock will bring back
all those memories she's repressing.
352
00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:50,700
You'll need a few tattoos.
353
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:53,400
I won't need any tattoos.
354
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,740
Do you think Mother
would be involved with tattoos?
355
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,640
Your wife's inside.
356
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,980
Can you believe this?
357
00:24:10,980 --> 00:24:15,480
Here I am stricken and distraught
at the loss of this woman.
358
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,120
I bleed emotionally.
359
00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:19,180
She gets her hair done!
360
00:24:19,180 --> 00:24:23,000
She's probably trying to keep her
spirits up. I can understand that.
361
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:29,000
In times of crisis,
I grow a moustache. It never works.
362
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,240
You can't see it unless
you touch it up with a pencil.
363
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,740
Are you finished, or do we have more
drivel to listen to?
364
00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:37,860
Finished.
365
00:24:37,860 --> 00:24:39,760
Don't get in a bad mood, Toby.
366
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,720
You've got to be looking
cheerful when she comes out.
367
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:47,340
Oh, I can do that if some idiot
stops growing his moustache.
368
00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:48,940
Finished.
369
00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:51,760
You can do it, Toby.
370
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,200
And I can do it now.
371
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,060
I'm not waiting out here.
372
00:24:57,060 --> 00:25:00,020
I'll romance her
in front of the others.
373
00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:03,340
I'll have witnesses
of my devotion to her.
374
00:25:08,620 --> 00:25:12,360
This is a genuine
police car door mirror.
375
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:16,460
We had to fit them a new pair.
They got one nicked.
376
00:25:16,460 --> 00:25:18,040
Make a right flash would that.
377
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:22,220
Catching the sunlight,
Hobbo would think sniper.
378
00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:25,000
Big dive for cover.
379
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:29,940
Can we borrow it? To make him think
it's a sniper? That's wicked.
380
00:25:29,940 --> 00:25:32,320
Of course you can borrow it.
381
00:25:46,980 --> 00:25:49,020
You have to admire Toby's nerve.
382
00:25:49,020 --> 00:25:54,500
Well, you wouldn't walk into a place
full of women and start telling me how much you cared for me.
383
00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:57,400
Glenda,
let's not make it into a test.
384
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,200
I wonder what his wife will say.
385
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,840
When I told mine that I loved her,
she said,
386
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,920
"Thank you, Morton, and goodbye."
387
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:07,980
Actually she said "Goodbye, Herman."
388
00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:10,800
You hadn't started being Morton then.
389
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:15,340
That's true. Why did you change
your name, Morton?
390
00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:17,800
I wanted to change the old me.
391
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:22,400
I wanted to be a whole new me,
bursting with masculine confidence.
392
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,060
How long were you planning to wait?
393
00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:32,200
Well, I thought I'd give it a
couple of years, you know, until the new name really begins to work.
394
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:36,560
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Look, I'm very sorry, madam.
395
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:40,700
I thought it was my wife
under that lid you're wearing.
396
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,660
You all look the same
with your feathers wet.
397
00:26:43,660 --> 00:26:49,000
Anyway you should to be grateful
that somebody was trying to make love to you, even by mistake.
398
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,820
D'you see that? They're out there.
399
00:27:07,820 --> 00:27:10,080
I told you they were.
400
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,820
People thought I was barmy...
imagining snipers.
401
00:27:13,820 --> 00:27:16,980
All that stuff I'm remembering,
they thought it was rubbish.
402
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,420
All right, where's Alvin?
403
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,520
Don't think I fell for it.
404
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,760
Not for one minute!
405
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:44,060
Don't think I can't tell
the difference between this and a telescopic sight.
406
00:27:45,740 --> 00:27:48,100
Can you see what I see?
407
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,020
Some hippy toe-rag waving our mirror.
408
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:57,900
Who do I remind you of?
409
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,300
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