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1
00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:04,540
ALARM RINGS
2
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:20,940
'Hello.'
3
00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:23,440
A fine morning to you, Nora.
4
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:28,400
I was wondering whether you'd care to
join me to watch the sun coming up.
5
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:32,940
Bring your flute. We could do
a little dance to welcome the dawn.
6
00:00:32,940 --> 00:00:34,860
Wear something casual.
7
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:37,220
A sprig of laurel in your hair.
8
00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:39,380
'You're joking!'
9
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:46,320
Do I take it that's a no?
10
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:50,020
D'you think Alvin
is going to injure himself?
11
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,740
Well, he seems determined to try.
12
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,140
D'you think he might do it soon
so we can go and get some breakfast?
13
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:27,580
Looks as if Alvin's
attracted an audience.
14
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,420
SIREN BLARES
15
00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,780
It's closed, Merv.
16
00:02:55,780 --> 00:02:57,320
I know.
17
00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,780
I like to come here when it's quiet.
18
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,420
I like to visit.
19
00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:03,420
When it's closed?
20
00:03:03,420 --> 00:03:05,980
You get the essential ambience.
21
00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:08,420
There's a sort of purity.
22
00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:11,320
It smells of garlic!
23
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,960
To you it's just a pizza parlour.
24
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,620
But to me...
25
00:03:15,620 --> 00:03:19,000
Well, to me it's a place
of pilgrimage.
26
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,700
It's where I worship...
her that works here.
27
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,340
I used to feel that
about a bus driver.
28
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:32,020
You never said.
29
00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:33,600
When was this?
30
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,360
Oh, it was years ago.
31
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,980
Weren't you going
to tell me about it?
32
00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:40,780
I had to give it up.
33
00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:42,900
I got travel sick.
34
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:47,040
I know what you mean.
I'm living on pizza.
35
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,820
You wouldn't think unrequited
love could be so fattening.
36
00:03:52,380 --> 00:03:54,920
Is she playing hard to get?
37
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:59,240
Maybe she's measuring your
devotion by the number of pizzas.
38
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,280
Maybe she has a target.
39
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,540
You hit 1,000,
maybe she'll fall on your neck.
40
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:09,300
She doesn't even know
I'm potty about her.
41
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:10,820
Haven't you told her?
42
00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:13,640
I keep trying.
43
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:17,260
I start stuttering
and all that comes out is...
44
00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:19,820
..an order for pizza.
45
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,280
Training for what?
46
00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:28,740
I used to be a six-stone weakling.
47
00:04:28,740 --> 00:04:29,820
I'm going for seven.
48
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,880
What happens if he has to brake?
49
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,380
It's not a problem.
50
00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,060
He has no brakes.
51
00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:38,520
Tell them you're joking.
52
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,600
No, he's right.
53
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:43,060
For a feller from Hull, he's
impressively equipped with brakes.
54
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:45,460
I was there when he passed his MOT.
55
00:04:45,460 --> 00:04:47,720
He was highly commended.
56
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:51,080
Don't say any more, Alvin.
Let me do talking.
57
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,340
They don't know you have good
excuse for acting like a lunatic.
58
00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:55,420
Such as what?
59
00:04:56,540 --> 00:04:58,020
He's a lunatic.
60
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,480
Has he always been a lunatic?
61
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,460
Can't say always.
Only known him few years.
62
00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:08,980
But for those few years
you've known him,
63
00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:11,260
has he always been a lunatic?
64
00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:12,740
Always.
65
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,220
It's a lifestyle choice.
66
00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:19,040
Living on the edge.
67
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,720
A thing I picked up
from a personal trainer.
68
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,700
Rock hard. Despised comfort.
69
00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:26,840
Used to eat Weetabix raw.
70
00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:29,500
Who was this, then?
71
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,080
A Mrs Crayshaw from Brighouse.
72
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,160
Wonderful muscle tone.
73
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,680
It wasn't just that.
It's the willpower the woman had.
74
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,180
They say she once went
seven days on the same tea bag.
75
00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:49,480
Are we going to arrest him?
76
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,140
And listen to him all
the way back to the station?
77
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:53,620
I don't think so.
78
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,800
D'you think they've been arrested?
79
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,740
Alvin will probably manage
to talk his way into it.
80
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:17,180
Now what?
81
00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:20,380
Maybe they're looking for backup.
82
00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:24,260
For Alvin and Entwistle?
83
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:38,060
Just checking for road safety.
84
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:39,580
Of course.
85
00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:41,780
Never thought it could be otherwise.
86
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:43,380
Back in a minute.
87
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:45,140
The other one wants a go.
88
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,220
Have you
never thought of going blonde?
89
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,220
Have you never
thought of growing up?
90
00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:12,580
Why would anybody do that?
91
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:15,220
Maybe if you tried a blue rinse.
92
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:16,880
Or let it all go.
93
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:20,040
Let it hang loose. There's Rita
Hayworth in there somewhere.
94
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:24,020
I don't know who let you loose,
but it was a mistake.
95
00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:27,780
You should let
me wash it and set it for you. You?
96
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,440
What experience have you got?
97
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:34,060
You ask that of me,
Alvin, lover of women?
98
00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:36,280
Have I got experience?
99
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,920
I've been run over by a Mrs Jamison.
100
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,900
And I was once engaged for 28 years.
101
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:45,360
I shouldn't have been
in a hurry to snap you up either.
102
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,960
It's like I said
to you this morning in bed.
103
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:50,680
Keep your voice down.
104
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,180
People won't know
you were on the phone.
105
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,020
Hello-o!
106
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,380
ECHO:
'Hello-o!'
107
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,500
Let's hear it for Elsie!
'Let's hear it for Elsie!'
108
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,420
Elsie who?
109
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:19,420
'Elsie who?'
110
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,580
Elsie Wendell.
111
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:24,980
'Elsie Wendell.'
112
00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:34,260
Hello-o!
113
00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:35,860
'Hello-o!'
114
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:39,020
Another crackpot. Anyone we know?
115
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:40,580
Looks like Merv.
116
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:49,620
Let's hear it again!
117
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,020
'Let's hear it again!'
118
00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:54,080
Elsie Wendell!
119
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,140
'Elsie Wendell!'
120
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,220
Who loves Elsie?
121
00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:01,220
'Who loves Elsie?'
122
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,220
MERV!
123
00:09:05,220 --> 00:09:06,800
What are you doing, Merv?
124
00:09:08,820 --> 00:09:10,220
SPLASH!
125
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,340
Does that answer question?
126
00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:26,780
Well?
127
00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:28,320
Well, what?
128
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,580
Are you going to tell me?
129
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,680
Tell you what?
130
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,040
Why we're stuck in a field.
131
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,940
This isn't stuck in a field.
132
00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:42,780
This is a place of concealment
from where we can check on passing motorists.
133
00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:45,680
With your eyes closed?
134
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:48,400
They're not closed. They are.
135
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,180
You're going to have a ziz.
136
00:09:56,340 --> 00:09:57,680
What about you?
137
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,260
What are you doing?
138
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,580
Filling in my notebook.
139
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,700
0930 hours.
140
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:05,860
Cautioned reckless driver.
141
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:07,680
When?
142
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,400
0930.
143
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,060
You cautioned who?
144
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:14,420
You. You were driving like a prawn.
145
00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:19,140
Suppose they're looking for US?
146
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,280
Why would they be looking for us?
147
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,620
Don't you think
it's funny that they're here?
148
00:10:24,620 --> 00:10:26,980
What are we doing that's illegal?
149
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:30,100
She asks, not for the first time.
150
00:10:36,151 --> 00:10:39,711
You didn't need
to creep up and shout like that.
151
00:10:39,711 --> 00:10:42,011
We fished you out, though,
didn't we?
152
00:10:42,011 --> 00:10:45,711
And that's another thing. You
should watch where you grab people.
153
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:48,431
Very picky for someone
being rescued from drowning.
154
00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:50,351
I wasn't drowning.
155
00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:52,151
You were making enough noise.
156
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,351
It was freezing. I'm still freezing.
157
00:10:55,351 --> 00:10:57,711
You got your love to keep you warm.
158
00:10:58,831 --> 00:11:00,471
No.
159
00:11:00,471 --> 00:11:03,011
She thinks I'm just a customer.
160
00:11:03,011 --> 00:11:05,411
We'll get you warm.
Grab hold of this.
161
00:11:05,411 --> 00:11:06,991
You can run behind the truck.
162
00:11:17,471 --> 00:11:19,871
Did you see that? What?
163
00:11:19,871 --> 00:11:22,571
I knew it. Your eyes were closed.
164
00:11:22,571 --> 00:11:26,151
That pickup's just passed and now
they're towing a guy with a rope.
165
00:11:26,151 --> 00:11:27,791
Round his neck?
166
00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:29,931
No, it's not round his neck.
167
00:11:29,931 --> 00:11:34,711
Fair enough. I'm not having anybody
being towed by the neck on my patch.
168
00:11:34,711 --> 00:11:36,831
You think that's all right, then?
169
00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:39,071
Was the vehicle speeding?
170
00:11:39,071 --> 00:11:41,171
No. I couldn't say it was speeding.
171
00:11:41,171 --> 00:11:44,631
That's it, then. It's none of our
business if it wasn't speeding.
172
00:11:47,151 --> 00:11:49,011
And another thing.
173
00:11:49,011 --> 00:11:52,511
There's a bush
behind us walking away.
174
00:11:55,351 --> 00:11:56,751
Oh, it's those two.
175
00:11:57,831 --> 00:11:59,711
Are you sure there's only two?
176
00:11:59,711 --> 00:12:01,791
They seem to cover some ground.
177
00:12:01,791 --> 00:12:04,071
They're interested in insects.
178
00:12:05,111 --> 00:12:07,351
Who told you that? He did.
179
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:10,431
Did you believe him?
I don't believe anybody.
180
00:12:10,431 --> 00:12:12,271
That's the trouble with this job.
181
00:12:12,271 --> 00:12:13,771
You develop a hard crust.
182
00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:18,431
Have you any
of them sandwiches left?
183
00:12:18,431 --> 00:12:20,191
No.
184
00:12:20,191 --> 00:12:22,631
You've not started slimming, I hope.
185
00:12:22,631 --> 00:12:25,591
You shouldn't be making
these decisions unilaterally.
186
00:12:26,991 --> 00:12:29,631
I'm not ready to lose weight.
187
00:12:29,631 --> 00:12:32,031
I'm trying to find
something you don't like.
188
00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:43,911
Just what the old place needs -
a wet person.
189
00:12:44,971 --> 00:12:47,891
Thoroughly wet. He's in love.
190
00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:51,711
Wet soon dries. Love takes longer.
191
00:12:51,711 --> 00:12:54,191
Listen to Gypsy Rose Entwistle.
192
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:57,111
The electric Miss Lonelyhearts.
193
00:12:57,111 --> 00:13:00,271
See lots of wild passion
in washing-machine circles.
194
00:13:00,271 --> 00:13:02,891
I never knew that.
195
00:13:02,891 --> 00:13:05,351
Your machine 30 years old.
196
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:07,151
How much wild passion you expect?
197
00:13:08,911 --> 00:13:14,471
Might we enquire where you found
a Mervin in this soggy condition?
198
00:13:14,471 --> 00:13:17,311
Middle of stream. Couldn't miss him.
199
00:13:17,311 --> 00:13:19,311
He was only one there not fish.
200
00:13:20,491 --> 00:13:23,951
Middle of stream? I was minding
my own business on the bridge.
201
00:13:23,951 --> 00:13:26,191
They practically pushed me in.
202
00:13:26,191 --> 00:13:30,311
Has anyone noticed how
wet persons lie? It's not a lie.
203
00:13:30,311 --> 00:13:33,411
It's just an exaggeration.
204
00:13:33,411 --> 00:13:36,731
What were you doing
balancing on a bridge?
205
00:13:36,731 --> 00:13:39,171
I was listening to the echo.
206
00:13:39,171 --> 00:13:41,531
Hearing voices. Then jumps in.
207
00:13:41,531 --> 00:13:43,371
I call that suspicious.
208
00:13:43,371 --> 00:13:45,851
Not to mention dozy.
209
00:13:45,851 --> 00:13:48,751
I hope you weren't
planning on anything fatal.
210
00:13:48,751 --> 00:13:51,531
Are you saying he's suicidal?
211
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:52,831
Close.
212
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:57,151
If he's suicidal,
it's hardly worth drying him.
213
00:13:58,231 --> 00:13:59,711
I'm not suicidal.
214
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,391
I'm just depressed.
215
00:14:03,391 --> 00:14:06,171
He's in love with her at the pizza.
216
00:14:06,171 --> 00:14:08,111
I think he needs some help.
217
00:14:08,111 --> 00:14:10,911
He certainly sounds
as if he needs some help.
218
00:14:10,911 --> 00:14:12,411
I've no chance.
219
00:14:12,411 --> 00:14:15,411
I was at school with her
and she doesn't even remember me.
220
00:14:15,411 --> 00:14:18,331
Try make bigger
impression this time.
221
00:14:18,331 --> 00:14:22,231
Why don't you just
walk in and remind her?
222
00:14:22,231 --> 00:14:25,071
I do walk in. I'm always walking in.
223
00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:28,671
Trouble is I'm shy.
224
00:14:29,771 --> 00:14:31,431
You can't just stand there.
225
00:14:32,451 --> 00:14:33,671
You must speak to her.
226
00:14:33,671 --> 00:14:35,651
I do speak to her.
227
00:14:35,651 --> 00:14:38,651
Well, what have you said to her?
228
00:14:38,651 --> 00:14:40,671
Well, it's not so much what you say.
229
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:45,231
It's trying to make your
feelings clear between the lines.
230
00:14:45,231 --> 00:14:47,231
Between what lines?
231
00:14:50,111 --> 00:14:52,871
Thin and crispy marinara
with extra anchovies.
232
00:15:09,791 --> 00:15:11,751
What's up with him?
233
00:15:11,751 --> 00:15:15,091
Not only depressed,
he's full of pizza.
234
00:15:15,091 --> 00:15:16,931
Pizza is the food of love.
235
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:19,391
Pizza? Well, it is for him.
236
00:15:19,391 --> 00:15:21,251
With extra anchovies.
237
00:15:21,251 --> 00:15:26,151
He's not still pining
for the lady behind the counter in Percy's Pizzas?
238
00:15:26,151 --> 00:15:28,731
Must be powerful attractive woman.
239
00:15:28,731 --> 00:15:31,091
Then why is he so miserable?
240
00:15:31,091 --> 00:15:35,251
Well, they say it's love,
but I think it's cos he's still wet.
241
00:15:35,251 --> 00:15:38,851
She once knew him,
but now she's forgotten him.
242
00:15:38,851 --> 00:15:41,691
Howard!
243
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,571
You get yourself back in the house
where you belong.
244
00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:46,351
You're supposed to be helping me.
245
00:15:48,671 --> 00:15:51,231
There's worse things
than being forgotten.
246
00:15:51,231 --> 00:15:52,711
Howard!
247
00:16:12,311 --> 00:16:14,851
OK, here's the plan.
248
00:16:14,851 --> 00:16:15,951
You got plan?
249
00:16:17,011 --> 00:16:19,851
You ask that of Alvin,
maker of plans?
250
00:16:19,851 --> 00:16:21,671
How long you had plan?
251
00:16:21,671 --> 00:16:24,651
You were driving,
I was working on a plan.
252
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,951
OK, let's hear plan.
253
00:16:27,771 --> 00:16:29,171
We walk in,
254
00:16:29,171 --> 00:16:32,731
we tell her she has a secret admirer
and we fix up a meeting.
255
00:16:32,731 --> 00:16:35,851
That's a plan?
I could have figured that.
256
00:16:35,851 --> 00:16:37,871
You haven't heard the clever bit.
257
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,791
This plan has clever bit?
258
00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,971
All my plans have clever bits.
259
00:16:41,971 --> 00:16:44,671
You had plan for making
fortune on internet.
260
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:48,131
All my plans but that one
have clever bits.
261
00:16:48,131 --> 00:16:50,391
OK, let's hear clever bit.
262
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,711
We don't tell her who the admirer is.
263
00:16:53,711 --> 00:16:55,411
We make a bit of a mystery of it.
264
00:16:55,411 --> 00:16:57,571
Women can't resist a mystery.
265
00:16:57,571 --> 00:17:00,211
Now you expert on women?
266
00:17:00,211 --> 00:17:02,431
I've always been an expert on women.
267
00:17:02,431 --> 00:17:04,071
I've done the homework.
268
00:17:04,071 --> 00:17:06,671
I was engaged to one for 28 years.
269
00:17:07,071 --> 00:17:08,391
Why so long?
270
00:17:09,491 --> 00:17:11,351
You know how time flies.
271
00:17:11,351 --> 00:17:13,671
She spent four years
choosing curtains.
272
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,511
Right, let's make Merv's day.
273
00:17:32,911 --> 00:17:33,951
Phwaw.
274
00:17:34,991 --> 00:17:36,411
Did you see that?
275
00:17:36,411 --> 00:17:38,911
Did Mervin? Maybe he needs glasses.
276
00:17:39,651 --> 00:17:41,711
He's in more trouble than we thought.
277
00:17:42,971 --> 00:17:44,611
Not only Mervin.
278
00:17:44,611 --> 00:17:46,611
Tom said she didn't look bad.
279
00:17:46,611 --> 00:17:48,091
Well, there you go, then.
280
00:17:48,091 --> 00:17:50,431
They say beauty's
in the eye of the beholder.
281
00:17:50,431 --> 00:17:52,391
Wouldn't want that in my eye.
282
00:17:54,051 --> 00:17:56,071
Maybe she comes with a free pizza.
283
00:17:56,071 --> 00:17:59,271
Guy would have
to really like pizzas.
284
00:17:59,271 --> 00:18:01,071
It's not up to us, though, is it?
285
00:18:01,071 --> 00:18:03,891
I mean, if that's what he
wants, that's what he wants.
286
00:18:03,891 --> 00:18:06,351
Would you want woman
at Percy's Pizzas?
287
00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:08,151
She looks more like Percy.
288
00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:12,491
Let's try again.
289
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:14,511
We're ready for her this time.
290
00:18:36,551 --> 00:18:37,591
I know that finger.
291
00:18:38,691 --> 00:18:40,471
Show yourself, Howard!
292
00:18:40,471 --> 00:18:43,591
Put the finger away, Howard.
293
00:18:49,071 --> 00:18:52,991
I wanted you to watch me
walking past in this.
294
00:18:52,991 --> 00:18:54,731
Wouldn't want to miss that.
295
00:18:54,731 --> 00:18:57,291
From the back
would you know it was me?
296
00:18:57,291 --> 00:19:00,031
Either you or Mad Mick
from Macclesfield.
297
00:19:02,751 --> 00:19:05,711
It doesn't look right, does it?
298
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:08,691
It would be fine
for certain occasions.
299
00:19:08,691 --> 00:19:11,271
Being buried, for instance.
300
00:19:11,271 --> 00:19:13,871
I need to change the way I look.
301
00:19:15,431 --> 00:19:17,551
I think I'm under surveillance.
302
00:19:17,551 --> 00:19:20,531
You married her. It's not Pearl.
303
00:19:20,531 --> 00:19:22,071
It's worse.
304
00:19:22,071 --> 00:19:23,371
Worse than Pearl?!
305
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:26,691
You're going to need more than
your grandfather's raincoat.
306
00:19:26,691 --> 00:19:28,351
It was my uncle's.
307
00:19:28,351 --> 00:19:31,551
He left me two suits
and this in his will.
308
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:34,731
Wasn't he related to anybody taller?
309
00:19:34,731 --> 00:19:39,891
I was his favourite. Good job you
weren't that close to your auntie.
310
00:19:39,891 --> 00:19:42,251
I think I'm in trouble.
311
00:19:42,251 --> 00:19:44,671
I think the police are watching me.
312
00:19:57,171 --> 00:19:58,351
HE TOOTS HORN
313
00:20:04,531 --> 00:20:05,991
What?
314
00:20:07,671 --> 00:20:08,791
What?!
315
00:20:09,731 --> 00:20:10,751
Go on.
316
00:20:12,971 --> 00:20:14,871
What?
317
00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:20,651
This belonged
to a theatrical gentleman,
318
00:20:20,651 --> 00:20:23,851
who was famous for
being a theatrical gentleman.
319
00:20:23,851 --> 00:20:27,371
"I want simple,"
he said, "but with a fur collar."
320
00:20:27,371 --> 00:20:30,451
I don't want anything conspicuous.
321
00:20:30,451 --> 00:20:32,371
The simpler the better.
322
00:20:32,371 --> 00:20:34,331
Auntie thinks it's you.
323
00:20:34,331 --> 00:20:37,031
She took one look at the
price and said, "That's him."
324
00:20:38,891 --> 00:20:41,131
Haven't you anything without fur?
325
00:20:41,131 --> 00:20:43,711
You've got your elbows.
They're without fur.
326
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:48,031
I feel like I'm wearing two cats.
327
00:20:48,031 --> 00:20:49,891
You look magnificent.
328
00:20:49,891 --> 00:20:52,191
You were born to wear two cats.
329
00:20:52,191 --> 00:20:56,191
Well, if you're going to be picky,
what's the effect you're looking for?
330
00:20:56,191 --> 00:20:58,611
Simple, unobtrusive.
331
00:20:58,611 --> 00:21:02,171
Well, you've got simple
nailed down, lad - ask anybody.
332
00:21:02,171 --> 00:21:03,491
I want to blend.
333
00:21:03,491 --> 00:21:06,731
I want to almost disappear
into the background.
334
00:21:06,731 --> 00:21:08,111
Oh, we can do that.
335
00:21:09,231 --> 00:21:11,131
We did it for Smiler.
336
00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:14,671
And you don't disappear
much further than him.
337
00:21:19,831 --> 00:21:22,671
Have you thought
of a detachable fur collar?
338
00:21:22,671 --> 00:21:24,471
No fur.
339
00:21:25,591 --> 00:21:27,491
I want to blend.
340
00:21:27,491 --> 00:21:30,051
With the right fur
you could pass for a rabbit.
341
00:21:30,051 --> 00:21:33,191
He can pass a rabbit
when Pearl's after him.
342
00:21:33,191 --> 00:21:35,471
Are you sure
this will help me blend?
343
00:21:36,651 --> 00:21:39,611
Where is he? Who said that?
344
00:21:39,611 --> 00:21:43,171
Oh, you're there.
I lost you for a minute.
345
00:21:43,171 --> 00:21:44,751
Talk about blend!
346
00:21:49,951 --> 00:21:54,391
She's agreed to meet me,
her secret admirer? Trust me.
347
00:21:54,391 --> 00:21:57,811
I'm Alvin, arranger of happy endings.
348
00:21:57,811 --> 00:22:00,291
Ohhh! Get him off!
349
00:22:00,291 --> 00:22:02,111
I think he likes you.
350
00:22:02,111 --> 00:22:05,391
I think it's
marvellous that somebody cared.
351
00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:06,851
Where is she meeting me?
352
00:22:06,851 --> 00:22:09,171
At the bridge. Where you fell in.
353
00:22:09,171 --> 00:22:11,851
Place with sentimental
memories for you.
354
00:22:11,851 --> 00:22:13,351
Wet and cold.
355
00:22:14,591 --> 00:22:16,811
That's great. That's fine.
356
00:22:16,811 --> 00:22:20,111
I love it out there. That's going
to be our spot, is that.
357
00:22:21,151 --> 00:22:23,931
Ohhh! Get him off!
358
00:22:23,931 --> 00:22:25,571
Can I go and take a peek?
359
00:22:25,571 --> 00:22:27,391
At what? At Elsie. No, no, no.
360
00:22:27,391 --> 00:22:28,951
That'll give the game away.
361
00:22:28,951 --> 00:22:31,431
Don't let her know it's you
until you meet.
362
00:22:31,431 --> 00:22:32,771
She'll not know it's me.
363
00:22:32,771 --> 00:22:36,111
I'll stand in the doorway
pretending to read the menu.
364
00:22:50,151 --> 00:22:52,031
More insects, Howard?
365
00:22:53,511 --> 00:22:55,191
CRASH!
366
00:23:06,431 --> 00:23:09,771
He's a lot sprightlier
than when we met him.
367
00:23:09,771 --> 00:23:11,991
A lot drier than when we met him.
368
00:23:13,051 --> 00:23:15,631
We've lifted his spirits.
Makes you feel good.
369
00:23:15,711 --> 00:23:18,651
Makes you feel guilty.
370
00:23:18,651 --> 00:23:20,571
What for?
371
00:23:20,571 --> 00:23:22,711
Fixing him up with that in there.
372
00:23:23,871 --> 00:23:26,791
Hey. There's no accounting for taste.
373
00:23:31,791 --> 00:23:33,951
That's not her, you twit heads!
374
00:23:33,951 --> 00:23:36,211
That's the other one
that works there.
375
00:23:36,211 --> 00:23:38,511
No way I'm going to meet HER!
376
00:23:43,331 --> 00:23:45,431
You fixed him up
with the wrong woman?
377
00:23:45,431 --> 00:23:51,011
Well, how were we supposed to know
there was more than one pizza lady?
378
00:23:51,011 --> 00:23:54,531
So now the wrong woman
is waiting at the bridge?
379
00:23:54,531 --> 00:23:57,411
Waiting for
her secret admirer.
380
00:23:57,411 --> 00:23:59,411
Yeah, I know. I feel rotten.
381
00:23:59,411 --> 00:24:01,231
Somebody ought to go and meet her.
382
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:03,311
Not my type.
383
00:24:03,311 --> 00:24:05,691
She doesn't sound
like anybody's type.
384
00:24:05,691 --> 00:24:06,871
KNOCK AT DOOR
385
00:24:09,071 --> 00:24:10,871
Oh, I don't know though.
386
00:24:11,931 --> 00:24:13,471
It's Action Man.
387
00:24:14,691 --> 00:24:17,151
I'm trying to blend.
388
00:24:17,151 --> 00:24:20,271
And it's working. I can see it.
389
00:24:21,851 --> 00:24:26,051
You couldn't have picked
anything better for your secret meeting tonight.
390
00:24:26,051 --> 00:24:28,371
What meeting?
391
00:24:28,371 --> 00:24:31,271
Don't tell me it's so secret
they haven't even told you.
392
00:24:32,791 --> 00:24:34,071
What secret?
393
00:24:34,151 --> 00:24:37,071
Young lady said, "Tell Howard.
394
00:24:37,071 --> 00:24:39,611
"Sudden secret meeting. Tonight."
395
00:24:39,611 --> 00:24:42,031
Seven o'clock, at the Old Bridge.
396
00:24:43,231 --> 00:24:46,331
What makes you think
I know any young ladies?
397
00:24:46,331 --> 00:24:47,711
Yes, that's the one.
398
00:24:49,271 --> 00:24:51,571
And you're all dressed to blend.
399
00:24:51,571 --> 00:24:54,131
Are you sure
you didn't know about it?
400
00:24:54,131 --> 00:24:55,711
It's news to me.
401
00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:59,191
Good news. Look at twinkle in eye.
402
00:25:00,411 --> 00:25:02,911
There's nothing twinkle about it.
403
00:25:02,911 --> 00:25:07,111
I expect it's in connection with
some work we're doing for charity.
404
00:25:32,051 --> 00:25:33,431
Yoo hoo!
405
00:25:34,791 --> 00:25:36,511
'Yoo hoo!'
406
00:26:12,991 --> 00:26:14,351
Ohhhh!
407
00:26:21,691 --> 00:26:23,091
Where do you find them?
408
00:26:23,091 --> 00:26:24,351
What are you doing?
409
00:26:24,351 --> 00:26:26,271
Starting a collection?
410
00:26:27,831 --> 00:26:30,251
She was a complete stranger.
411
00:26:30,251 --> 00:26:32,171
So why was she hugging you?
412
00:26:32,171 --> 00:26:33,971
Are you sure she was hugging?
413
00:26:33,971 --> 00:26:35,911
I thought I was being mugged.
414
00:26:35,911 --> 00:26:38,611
You weren't struggling.
415
00:26:38,611 --> 00:26:40,591
I was clutching me wallet.
416
00:26:41,691 --> 00:26:44,391
I didn't hear any complaints
417
00:26:44,391 --> 00:26:46,111
or even an echo.
418
00:26:47,471 --> 00:26:52,431
I'm innocent.
This time, I'm genuinely innocent.
419
00:27:00,071 --> 00:27:03,231
Is this another one? Haven't
seen you with this one before.
420
00:27:06,771 --> 00:27:09,671
They're joking.
Police sense of humour.
421
00:27:29,651 --> 00:27:31,391
Where's he going now?
422
00:27:31,391 --> 00:27:34,091
Probably off to see another one.
423
00:27:34,091 --> 00:27:36,111
He does well with just a bicycle.
424
00:27:43,391 --> 00:27:45,871
Ah, no!
425
00:27:48,911 --> 00:27:50,471
Ah, here he is.
426
00:28:00,091 --> 00:28:02,751
She spoke to me. She smiled.
427
00:28:03,931 --> 00:28:06,051
"We've got an offer on pepperoni,"
428
00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:08,551
she said,
like it was just to me personally.
429
00:28:08,551 --> 00:28:11,751
"Buy one,
get the second half price!"
430
00:28:11,751 --> 00:28:14,151
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431
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