All language subtitles for Last Of The Summer Wine s25e06 An Apple a Day.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:13,800 Hey-up, it's first-aid from hell! 2 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,580 What are you doing today that's useful? 3 00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:23,220 Give us a minute, I'll think of something. Too late. I've thought of something. 4 00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:26,760 You'll do nicely. For what? For doing a kindness. 5 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,920 Taking an old person out for a change for an hour. 6 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:33,080 He won't be mobile when you've finished bandaging him. 7 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,700 There's nothing wrong with him apart from loneliness. 8 00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:42,340 He doesn't need bandaging. It never stopped you before. You need a bandage between your nose and chin! 9 00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:46,020 There - that's where he lives. 10 00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:48,400 This is miles away. 11 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,060 Who's providing the transport? That's your problem. 12 00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:54,800 I'm medical, not transport. 13 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:59,920 Where will I take him for a change? Suppose he's already been! 14 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:46,700 Oh, there you are, love. Don't "love" me. 15 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:53,080 Where do you think you're going? I was looking for you. I thought, "Where's Pearl?" 16 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:58,620 Where's Pearl? She's one jump ahead of you, that's where Pearl is. 17 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,880 Get your body inside. 18 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:28,800 I suppose you're wondering why I keep trying that door. 19 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,220 I'm determined to locate that squeak. 20 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,860 Seven. 21 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:35,980 Maybe eight. What? 22 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:38,960 Out of ten. For lying. 23 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,320 On the spur of the moment, that wasn't bad. 24 00:02:55,240 --> 00:03:00,140 So there it is, two o'clock in the morning and I'm walking my beat. 25 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:05,760 Which you could in those days, before we had the support of the educated classes. 26 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:09,220 It's funny. They never blame honesty on social conditions. 27 00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:16,680 And suddenly there's this chap up a tree with a pair of binoculars staring into a bedroom window. 28 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,120 I thought, "Right, laddie, you're nicked. 29 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:24,460 "But first let's have a look what's going on through that window." 30 00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:27,480 Which wasn't idle curiosity, 31 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,560 but necessary for gathering the evidence. 32 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:35,060 I think we can all appreciate that. What size tree was it? 33 00:03:35,060 --> 00:03:39,120 Oh, it held us both quite comfortably. For how long? 34 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,500 You know how it is. Time flies when you're enjoying yourself. 35 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:45,680 Were you selling tickets or did you arrest him? 36 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:51,400 It was his own house. He was watching his own bedroom window through binoculars?! 37 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:55,780 Which is well within the parameters of odd human behaviour. 38 00:03:55,780 --> 00:04:00,460 Besides which, he had a perfectly good reason. He was a trifle loopy? 39 00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:02,900 In addition to that. 40 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:06,020 He was trying to catch his wife smoking. 41 00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:10,200 She swore she'd stopped, but he was sure he could smell cigarettes. 42 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:14,200 So we took turns on the binoculars. KNOCK ON DOOR 43 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,760 Who's that? 44 00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:23,840 It's Nora Batty...in uniform. 45 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,760 You don't think she's invading, mm? 46 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:30,540 You go. Me? It's your house! 47 00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:35,100 If I go, she'll bandage me. Why will she bandage you? 48 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,140 She did before. 49 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,900 What are you doing this afternoon? 50 00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:49,160 Well, we're not expecting to be bleeding or anything. 51 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:55,760 I've made arrangements with my neighbour. You're going out to make a nice change for a lonely old man. 52 00:04:55,760 --> 00:05:00,040 Wouldn't YOU make a nicer change for a lonely old man? 53 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,700 I shall be with the ladies, looking after his wife. 54 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:09,700 My neighbour is making travel arrangements. He'll be here in an hour. Right, thank you. 55 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:15,020 If she wants me to leave something to medical science, they can have my wart. 56 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:17,240 Worse. 57 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:27,120 We ought to do something. I'm no good at showbiz. You don't have to get into the tabloids. 58 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:32,960 Just do a little something for the children's concert. It'll go wrong. Things always go wrong for me. 59 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,680 Oh, really? Now he tells me. 60 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,900 Apart from you, things always go wrong for me. 61 00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:42,740 Do your country and western. You like country and western. 62 00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:46,360 I used to...till something went wrong for me. 63 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:52,700 Oh, Barry. It's not as if you've been stealing cattle or robbing stagecoaches. 64 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:56,720 I had an accident with a gun. You never said! 65 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,520 I dropped it on my big toe. 66 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,720 I was limping for a week. 67 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,240 You said it was gout. 68 00:06:05,260 --> 00:06:09,780 That's how dangerous it was in the Old West. 69 00:06:09,780 --> 00:06:12,820 No wonder they never took their boots off. 70 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,660 So where are we supposed to be going on this errand of mercy? 71 00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:21,880 To some old couple out on the moors somewhere. 72 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:25,180 I find it easier to go along than it is to argue. 73 00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:29,800 Oh, me too. And you've no idea the trouble it got me into. 74 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:37,760 It's some old couple she's found living out in the hills somewhere. She's decided they need a day out. 75 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,240 They need a change. SHE'S decided. They're probably quite happy. 76 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,500 Quite likely. 77 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,620 It'll be Nora's idea. 78 00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:51,520 And when Nora Batty wants to do you a kindness, you'll get a kindness done whether you like it or not. 79 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:56,460 She's merciless. Says they've never been out for years. 80 00:06:56,460 --> 00:07:01,560 Obviously not the kind of people you could mistake my Howard for. 81 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,960 Come in, big ears. 82 00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:12,340 How did you know he was there? It's the marital bond. 83 00:07:12,340 --> 00:07:17,240 You get so you can hear their knees creak as they bend for the keyhole. 84 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,680 I think it's nice you're doing this kindness to this old couple. 85 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:28,060 And when I get back I don't want to find that you've been doing a kindness to some other old party. 86 00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:30,740 I don't know what you mean. 87 00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:35,520 Look at him. See how he changes colour when he lies? 88 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,800 It starts just behind the ears there, look. 89 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:43,000 Yes, it's always the ears. Strange, isn't it? 90 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:53,100 So was it worth it - up a tree with his binoculars? 91 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:56,020 Did you find out whether his wife had given up smoking? 92 00:07:56,020 --> 00:08:00,860 Oh, yes. He found out. Wow! Did he find out! 93 00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:05,180 Are you going to tell me or do I have to start on your fingernails? 94 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:09,780 He found out she wasn't smoking. A happy ending. My favourite kind. 95 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:13,120 Not quite. Not a happy ending? 96 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:19,080 He was pleased his wife wasn't smoking, but he wasn't so pleased to find out it was him next door 97 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:23,220 popping in when the husband's back was turned. He was smoking. 98 00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:26,920 So what did the husband do? HE started smoking again. 99 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:33,040 You do tell me some rhubarb, but I must admit you do it well. 100 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:50,560 I thought I'd just drop in since I was passing. 101 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,640 We saw you passing. I've no option. 102 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,500 She's really on her toes this morning. 103 00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:59,660 This is my third attempt to break out. 104 00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:06,600 Why don't you try something really tricky like, "Pearl, love, I'm just popping next door to Cleggy's"? 105 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:12,000 No chance. They get really suspicious if you start being honest. 106 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,300 Howard, here's the deal. 107 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:20,180 You don't ask us to deliver messages and we won't say no. 108 00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:23,100 It's nothing like that. 109 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:30,660 I just wondered if you knew of a suitable upmarket isolated country inn where one could entertain. 110 00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:35,860 A young lady? I suppose that's one possibility. 111 00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:39,740 If she happened to belong to the same Country Pursuits Federation. 112 00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:44,140 Well, if by some unlikely chance the young lady did belong, 113 00:09:44,140 --> 00:09:47,220 how far upmarket would this place have to be? 114 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:52,400 Somewhere where, if you were late, a young lady could wait without being bothered. 115 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:59,740 And you think this hypothetical young lady is likely to be, um... bothered? I most certainly do. 116 00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:04,440 I'd hate to think of her falling into the wrong hands. 117 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:11,740 Or even taking a running jump. Look, Howard, why don't you just settle down? 118 00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:15,220 Or take up something less risky - like euthanasia? 119 00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:19,660 It's all perfectly innocent. We're just good friends. 120 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:24,180 We have a common interest in the great outdoors. 121 00:10:24,180 --> 00:10:30,720 What a passionate spirit to be confined within the range of a bicycle. 122 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:36,920 I think you were meant to be Italian, Howard. I sometimes feel that. 123 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,420 I think Pearl suspects it too. 124 00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:43,560 She refuses to encourage my interest in spaghetti. 125 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:47,140 You do talk a load of old Bolognese, Howard. 126 00:10:48,420 --> 00:10:52,500 Well, it's just that I'm surprised, that's all. 127 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:58,340 And after a bad experience in a remote branch library, I'm not easily surprised. 128 00:10:58,340 --> 00:11:03,140 But I've never known you do charity visits. I do valuations for free. 129 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:06,660 I call that a charity visit. You charge expenses. 130 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,860 I tried not charging expenses, but I found I couldn't sleep. 131 00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:17,780 Having my heart broken kept me awake. 132 00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:24,140 Then you'll understand how I felt about not charging expenses. Have you never known romance? 133 00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:28,400 Oh, when I was young and daft, I thought I'd found Mr Right. 134 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,380 Then I caught him in the act. Oh, don't tell me. 135 00:11:31,380 --> 00:11:33,460 I know what they're capable of. 136 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,320 He betrayed you. Oh, did he ever. 137 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:40,620 In broad daylight, during business hours. 138 00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:44,840 I caught him trying to give this customer his money back. 139 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:49,680 So of course you never forgave him? Not only that. I sacked him. 140 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:55,080 So how come you've changed your ways and started visiting these old folk? 141 00:11:55,080 --> 00:12:00,140 I've been doing it ever since I discovered that virtue is its own reward. 142 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:06,480 You go and help these old people and it's amazing what you can pick up in antiques. 143 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,200 Oh, as charitable as that? 144 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,820 If you can spread a little happiness. 145 00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:16,240 Oh, don't go without your pump. You've paid for it. 146 00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:33,969 Not so hard to find. 147 00:12:33,969 --> 00:12:37,469 You just turn left after Outer Mongolia. 148 00:12:37,469 --> 00:12:41,969 How did Nora find these people way out here? 149 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:46,569 Witchcraft. What's more, she can see through walls. 150 00:12:46,569 --> 00:12:51,009 I bet that's a bit easier than trying to see through her nightie. 151 00:12:51,009 --> 00:12:54,069 I imagine the occasion hardly arises. 152 00:12:54,069 --> 00:12:57,769 It's a very unsettling thought when you live only next door. 153 00:12:57,769 --> 00:13:03,209 What we need is someone who speaks the language out here to get down and open the gate. 154 00:13:03,209 --> 00:13:07,549 Consider it done. Off you go, then, Alvin, open the gate. 155 00:13:07,549 --> 00:13:12,349 Didn't I open the last gate? There - no substitute for experience. 156 00:13:25,009 --> 00:13:27,029 It just collapsed in my hands. 157 00:13:28,029 --> 00:13:32,489 I bet you're the one that built the former Mrs Truelove's conservatory. 158 00:13:32,489 --> 00:13:39,749 I expect that's why these people have never been out anywhere. It's too much trouble opening the gate. 159 00:13:39,749 --> 00:13:43,669 Hope the old boy we're taking out is in better condition than his gate. 160 00:13:43,669 --> 00:13:47,329 We'll leave the gate. The women are going to be coming through. 161 00:13:47,329 --> 00:13:50,769 Open gate like open mouth - things get out. 162 00:13:50,769 --> 00:13:55,149 What's to get out? There's nothing in the field. 163 00:14:11,789 --> 00:14:14,229 Who ordered chicken? 164 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,369 This must be him. 165 00:14:16,369 --> 00:14:19,129 Old Scrooby. 166 00:14:19,129 --> 00:14:22,829 Good day to you, sir. We're looking for Mr Scrooby. 167 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:29,229 That'll be me grandad tha's wanting. Your grandad's still around?! 168 00:14:29,229 --> 00:14:32,349 Oh, aye, he's buried in't churchyard. 169 00:14:33,969 --> 00:14:39,229 Well, then, no, we're not looking for your grandad. 170 00:14:39,229 --> 00:14:41,789 Are there any other Scroobies? 171 00:14:41,789 --> 00:14:43,269 Oh, aye. 172 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:47,009 What about a hint? 173 00:14:47,009 --> 00:14:50,569 There's no Hints round here. 174 00:14:50,569 --> 00:14:53,249 Has anybody got a phrase book? 175 00:14:54,829 --> 00:14:58,129 Are there any other Scroobies? 176 00:14:59,389 --> 00:15:02,949 There's me. I'm a Scrooby. 177 00:15:02,949 --> 00:15:06,449 I think we've cracked it. It's him we're looking for. 178 00:15:06,449 --> 00:15:09,089 But he said he wasn't Mr Scrooby. 179 00:15:09,089 --> 00:15:12,569 I'm not. I'm Bert. 180 00:15:12,569 --> 00:15:14,669 I've always been Bert. 181 00:15:14,669 --> 00:15:18,749 Mr Scrooby were me grandad. Here. Hold Lucy. 182 00:15:26,689 --> 00:15:33,009 My advice to you, Tex, if you're worried about your gun, is fasten it in. 183 00:15:33,009 --> 00:15:35,149 Make sure it doesn't fall out. 184 00:15:35,149 --> 00:15:37,249 Sticky tape or something. 185 00:15:37,249 --> 00:15:40,989 I think that's cheating. Good guys don't cheat. 186 00:15:40,989 --> 00:15:47,889 Good guys get shot while they're picking up their gun. Yes, that's the downside. How do I look? 187 00:15:47,889 --> 00:15:52,229 You look lovely. I'm supposed to look like a cowboy. 188 00:15:52,229 --> 00:15:57,949 You look like a lovely cowboy. I could take you straight upstairs and cuddle you. 189 00:15:57,949 --> 00:16:03,649 Lovely doesn't sound right to me. I don't want to be the fastest flickering eyelash in the West. 190 00:16:03,649 --> 00:16:07,149 What are you going to sing? Well, I thought something lively. 191 00:16:07,149 --> 00:16:10,509 Can you do lively without losing your gun? 192 00:16:10,509 --> 00:16:14,669 I don't know. I was just half drawing it when... 193 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:21,069 Oh, it's too embarrassing to admit you dropped your six-gun on your big toe. Oh, Barry. 194 00:16:21,069 --> 00:16:26,629 I bet the Old West was full of cowboys nursing their big toes. 195 00:16:32,729 --> 00:16:36,789 Where's he gone? Not for chips, I hope. 196 00:16:36,789 --> 00:16:41,869 My chicken's very warm underneath. Is that normal? 197 00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:44,469 Almost certainly a thermostat gone. 198 00:16:44,469 --> 00:16:50,789 I think they're designed like that so they can squat down and keep their feet warm. 199 00:16:50,789 --> 00:16:55,709 It's like cuddling one of Nora Batty's hats. 200 00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:57,969 Oh? Oh, do tell. 201 00:16:57,969 --> 00:17:00,349 When did you have that experience? 202 00:17:01,349 --> 00:17:03,609 Do they peck? 203 00:17:03,609 --> 00:17:06,849 Only at one end. 204 00:17:06,849 --> 00:17:10,149 What are you lot doing with Bert's chickens? 205 00:17:10,149 --> 00:17:14,389 We were wondering that. Who are these lot with your chickens? 206 00:17:14,389 --> 00:17:18,629 It's all right, Mother. They've come to take us out for a day. 207 00:17:18,629 --> 00:17:21,529 Like that woman said. The chickens? 208 00:17:21,529 --> 00:17:23,489 They're just holding them for me. 209 00:17:23,489 --> 00:17:26,569 For how long? Just till I clean their place out. 210 00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:28,769 How long does that take? 211 00:17:28,769 --> 00:17:30,909 Top to bottom - two hours. 212 00:17:30,909 --> 00:17:32,629 What?! 213 00:17:32,629 --> 00:17:36,149 We're not standing here for two hours holding these things. 214 00:17:36,149 --> 00:17:40,489 Can't we put them down? No. They'll wander away. 215 00:17:40,489 --> 00:17:43,549 There's foxes and God knows what out there. 216 00:17:43,549 --> 00:17:48,369 The lad'll go mad if I lose any. Can't you clean out another day? 217 00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:52,049 I set me mind on cleaning out them chickens. 218 00:17:52,049 --> 00:17:56,709 What do you think, lass? Well, if they're taking us out for a day. 219 00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,529 Not you. 220 00:17:58,529 --> 00:18:00,609 We're just taking Mr Scrooby. 221 00:18:00,609 --> 00:18:02,549 His grandad? 222 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:05,709 You'll have a job taking his grandad. 223 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:08,629 No. We're taking THIS Mr Scrooby. 224 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:12,349 Well, if you're going with that lot, who's taking me out? 225 00:18:12,349 --> 00:18:17,949 The ladies are taking you out. Not that old bossy boots again. 226 00:18:17,949 --> 00:18:20,509 You'd better get changed, lass. 227 00:18:20,509 --> 00:18:23,909 Changed? It's gonna be a lot of fuss, this going out? 228 00:18:23,909 --> 00:18:27,789 Do you think we ought to be making a little fuss ourselves, Bert? 229 00:18:27,789 --> 00:18:34,909 Or even a lot. Has he got a best suit? Of course I've got a best suit. I've got me grandad's. 230 00:18:34,909 --> 00:18:40,369 What did you bury him in, then? His nightshirt. 231 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:44,129 Not his best nightshirt. We kept his best nightshirt. 232 00:18:44,129 --> 00:18:49,349 Wear the suit, Bert. Right, we'll put the chickens back in the barn, 233 00:18:49,349 --> 00:18:53,189 and then we'll wait and help the ladies open the gate. 234 00:18:53,189 --> 00:18:56,189 We left it open. You what? 235 00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:59,809 Sal, he left the gate open! 236 00:18:59,809 --> 00:19:02,269 Oh, good grief...he'll be out. 237 00:19:02,269 --> 00:19:05,969 There was nothing in the field. We checked. A wide open gate. 238 00:19:05,969 --> 00:19:07,929 He will. He'll be out. 239 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:14,549 I wouldn't call it wide open. It's more like, um, well...scattered about. 240 00:19:14,549 --> 00:19:18,529 He has instructions never to go past that gate. 241 00:19:18,529 --> 00:19:22,769 We've told him it's a wicked world out there, 242 00:19:22,769 --> 00:19:25,069 but if you've left it open, 243 00:19:25,069 --> 00:19:28,969 oh, good grief, he will. The lad'll be out. 244 00:19:41,909 --> 00:19:44,549 Is this the right way to the Scroobies? 245 00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:54,729 I hope he knows what he's looking for inside those overalls! 246 00:19:58,389 --> 00:20:00,289 For me? Oh! 247 00:20:02,189 --> 00:20:05,329 Take it, don't upset him. It's probably some native custom. 248 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:09,269 Thank you very much. Much appreciated, I'm sure. 249 00:20:09,269 --> 00:20:13,309 Now gie's a kiss. I beg your pardon?! 250 00:20:13,309 --> 00:20:15,209 I gave thee an apple. 251 00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:18,629 I've come across native customs like that before! 252 00:20:26,489 --> 00:20:30,529 We'll have to find the lad before he goes through too many apples. 253 00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:34,169 Where did he learn this apple trick? Grandad were a bad influence. 254 00:20:34,169 --> 00:20:36,709 No wonder he needed two nightshirts! 255 00:20:38,089 --> 00:20:43,109 If he's on foot, how many apples can he be carrying? He can't have gone far. 256 00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:45,969 But did he go east or west? 257 00:20:45,969 --> 00:20:50,589 We'll have to split up. Some of us'll go one way, and some t'other. 258 00:20:50,589 --> 00:20:53,849 We'll get the cars. Who's coming wi' me? 259 00:21:08,249 --> 00:21:13,589 Well, I'm just glad we're not taking the chickens. Not that I don't like chickens. 260 00:21:13,589 --> 00:21:16,989 Many of my deepest instincts are chicken. 261 00:21:29,029 --> 00:21:31,609 That belongs to some campers. They leave it here. 262 00:21:38,109 --> 00:21:41,689 This looks like a native. Ask this one if he's seen anybody. 263 00:21:44,389 --> 00:21:47,249 Good day to you, me old mangelwurzel! 264 00:21:47,249 --> 00:21:50,109 We're looking for somebody known hereabouts as "the lad". 265 00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:53,309 Tha's just found him, then. That's me. 266 00:21:53,309 --> 00:21:56,749 For a lad, that's a cunning disguise. 267 00:21:58,449 --> 00:22:02,229 How long have you been the lad? I've always been the lad. 268 00:22:02,229 --> 00:22:06,429 Right, then. Hop in the back. They want you at home. Nay. 269 00:22:06,429 --> 00:22:08,849 What's he mean "nay"? 270 00:22:08,849 --> 00:22:12,269 I think he means "Nei-ei-eigh!" 271 00:22:20,929 --> 00:22:23,309 Fancy loping off like that! 272 00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:27,029 Do you think he's rehearsing for village idiot? 273 00:22:27,029 --> 00:22:32,009 I think he's word perfect. Well, he's not gonna get away from Truly of the Yard. 274 00:22:32,009 --> 00:22:35,129 I deduce he's over there in that ditch. 275 00:22:36,349 --> 00:22:38,329 I said nay! 276 00:22:40,949 --> 00:22:46,529 She likes a gossamer touch on the clutch! Be gentle with the clutch! 277 00:22:49,809 --> 00:22:53,989 He's not up that way. No, he's down that way. 278 00:22:53,989 --> 00:22:56,069 In my pick-up! 279 00:22:56,069 --> 00:23:00,349 Now, I suppose, we've all got to climb into this thing. 280 00:23:00,349 --> 00:23:04,069 Shouldn't you have brought two, Bert - one for each foot? 281 00:23:04,069 --> 00:23:06,789 Get in. I know a short cut. 282 00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:20,009 I thought it was nice of them to wave. 283 00:23:22,509 --> 00:23:27,009 I know where he'll be heading - the pub! You'll have to go fetch him. 284 00:23:27,009 --> 00:23:30,389 I don't think I should go into a public house in my uniform. 285 00:23:30,389 --> 00:23:34,329 Well, you've been in wearing funnier hats than that! 286 00:23:34,329 --> 00:23:40,849 Only to fetch my husband out. At least you knew where to look. I'd need a bush hat to go finding mine. 287 00:23:40,849 --> 00:23:43,689 I think a hat should make a statement. 288 00:23:43,689 --> 00:23:48,649 Chosen wisely, it's a barrier against unwelcome attentions. Well, you got that bit right! 289 00:23:48,649 --> 00:23:51,649 I must have been wearing the wrong ones. 290 00:23:51,649 --> 00:23:54,589 Quite by chance, fortunately! 291 00:23:54,589 --> 00:23:58,889 Are we gonna find the lad before he's down to his pips? 292 00:24:08,689 --> 00:24:12,109 Oh, this is nice. 293 00:24:12,109 --> 00:24:14,609 I love the ambience already. 294 00:24:14,609 --> 00:24:19,649 It was highly recommended. Not always a safe guide for a girl to follow! 295 00:24:19,649 --> 00:24:23,869 I made enquiries for a place that would be suitable for a lady... 296 00:24:23,869 --> 00:24:28,709 It makes a nice change from a quick bite behind a bush somewhere. 297 00:24:28,709 --> 00:24:31,909 ..a lady of unquestioned respectability. 298 00:24:31,909 --> 00:24:35,089 Which I owe entirely to you, Howard, 299 00:24:35,089 --> 00:24:39,589 considering the number of times you've led me behind a bush somewhere. 300 00:24:39,589 --> 00:24:42,569 Oh, please understand me, I'm not complaining. 301 00:24:42,569 --> 00:24:47,469 There must be few of us who've been exposed to such scenery. 302 00:24:47,469 --> 00:24:49,949 I know how you like scenery. 303 00:24:50,849 --> 00:24:52,349 Psst! Psst! 304 00:24:53,869 --> 00:24:58,149 I could give thee an apple. What a kind thought! 305 00:24:59,209 --> 00:25:03,449 I hope he wasn't bothering you. You hardly gave him time! 306 00:25:05,149 --> 00:25:08,229 Well, what did he want? To give me an apple. 307 00:25:08,229 --> 00:25:12,849 You shouldn't go accepting apples from strangers. You don't know who they are. 308 00:25:12,849 --> 00:25:16,849 I believe that's why they call them strangers, Howard. 309 00:25:24,329 --> 00:25:26,489 There's the pickup! 310 00:25:45,889 --> 00:25:49,609 I think I've found an admirer, Howard. 311 00:25:49,609 --> 00:25:52,129 You know you have. It's me! 312 00:25:52,129 --> 00:25:55,409 I mean ANOTHER one, Howard. 313 00:25:55,409 --> 00:25:58,329 It never rains but it pours. 314 00:26:02,749 --> 00:26:06,489 He looks like he might take advantage. 315 00:26:06,489 --> 00:26:10,049 Good heavens! And I'm not even halfway through the menu. 316 00:26:10,049 --> 00:26:15,569 Well, I suppose it's better being looked at by strangers than people we know. 317 00:26:15,569 --> 00:26:20,709 I was very careful to choose a place where we wouldn't be seen. 318 00:26:25,249 --> 00:26:28,189 Hey-up, there's Sonny and Cher! 319 00:26:29,669 --> 00:26:34,189 Those blushes look familiar. I think I just heard his appetite leaving! 320 00:26:34,189 --> 00:26:38,589 Don't sit there in pure enjoyment. Say hello, Howard! 321 00:26:38,589 --> 00:26:42,449 Oh, hello. What a day of surprises. 322 00:26:42,449 --> 00:26:47,309 You're the second party I've bumped into by accident. Who was the first? 323 00:26:47,309 --> 00:26:50,669 This young lady here. 324 00:26:50,669 --> 00:26:52,609 Nice try, Howard! 325 00:26:52,609 --> 00:26:55,569 I don't know why people never believe me! 326 00:26:57,629 --> 00:27:02,169 Here, I thought you said this place was quiet! 327 00:27:02,169 --> 00:27:04,049 It IS quiet. 328 00:27:04,049 --> 00:27:07,029 Look how quiet you went when we walked in. 329 00:27:20,449 --> 00:27:24,409 You've found him, then? Just in time. Still on his first apple. 330 00:27:38,049 --> 00:27:42,849 I know that bicycle! That's a bicycle that's up to no good. 331 00:27:45,269 --> 00:27:48,229 I wonder if that bicycle would like a ride. 332 00:27:48,229 --> 00:27:50,729 Ooh, what a wicked thought! 333 00:27:50,729 --> 00:27:53,729 I must congratulate you on that. 334 00:28:07,469 --> 00:28:12,749 Come in and have a cup of tea. You'll want to be there when Howard gets in. 335 00:28:12,749 --> 00:28:17,089 He'll give us some lie about how he's managed to lose his bicycle! 336 00:28:17,089 --> 00:28:20,089 THEY CHUCKLE 337 00:28:27,169 --> 00:28:30,669 How are you going to explain the loss of your bicycle? 338 00:28:30,669 --> 00:28:34,249 I'll tell her I had to give it to some poor person in need. 339 00:28:34,249 --> 00:28:38,029 This poor tramp was in a terrible condition 340 00:28:38,029 --> 00:28:42,809 and I couldn't resist it. That's wicked, Howard! You're a genius! 341 00:28:42,809 --> 00:28:46,789 I'm so sorry we got interrupted and didn't get lunch. 342 00:28:46,789 --> 00:28:49,229 Not to worry, Howard. 343 00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:51,669 I've got two apples! 344 00:28:51,669 --> 00:28:55,649 Subtitles by Graeme Dibble and Alison Semeonoff, BBC Broadcast 2004 345 00:28:55,699 --> 00:29:00,249 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30825

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.