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1
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,360
The car's fine, Mr Pegden.
2
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:48,200
So's mine, lad, and I want YOU
to be the first to help me with her.
3
00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:58,460
The sky looks different
this morning.
4
00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:02,880
Looks the same to me
and I'm a trained observer.
5
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,080
You know who's up there, don't you?
6
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,580
I've heard the rumours,
same as everyone else.
7
00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:14,620
No, I'm talking
temporarily up there.
8
00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:15,900
Who?
9
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,940
Nora Batty.
10
00:01:17,940 --> 00:01:21,940
You've started seeing
Nora Batty in the sky?
11
00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:24,520
She's up there now.
12
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:30,560
What are you putting
in your bedtime cocoa? You have the right to remain silent.
13
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:36,020
She's up there now in an aircraft
bound for Australia. Oh, that.
14
00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:42,420
You think that's normal?
Nora Batty at 30,000 feet?
15
00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:47,340
I think it's a relief. It's when
she's on the ground she's scary.
16
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,380
It's overkill.
17
00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:54,600
They've already got alligators
and deadly spiders out there.
18
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:59,340
I bet you won't find
Crocodile Dundee tackling that one.
19
00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:06,260
How is she going to manage
a 14-hour flight without a vacuum cleaner?
20
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:15,400
But why do you need ME
to drive the Land Rover? Somebody's got to do the cooking.
21
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,300
Cooking?
22
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:25,580
A hot-dog barrow? A hot-dog barrow
on a Land Rover, Barry.
23
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:32,360
A hot-dog barrow therefore
which will go where other hot-dog barrows cannot go.
24
00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:39,600
We can take hot bangers,
Barry, to weary hikers and other travellers off road.
25
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:44,340
We can bring to the healthier,
outdoor public all the benefits of cholestriol.
26
00:02:44,340 --> 00:02:47,980
Greasy food for walkers.
Think there'll be a call for it?
27
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:52,640
If you were out in the wilds, could
you resist the smell of fried food?
28
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:57,160
Especially if it had gone cold.
Will it keep warm out there? Warm?
29
00:02:57,160 --> 00:03:02,220
This is your supercharged hot-dog
barrow. She's a great little beast.
30
00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:09,240
I've installed a turbo. She'll go
nought to frying temperature in about a minute thirty seconds.
31
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,800
And she's ready for road testing.
32
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:17,820
I mean, not that I'm not absolutely
thrilled for this opportunity to be smelling of chip fat,
33
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:21,860
but when you decided you needed
a driver, what made you think of me?
34
00:03:21,860 --> 00:03:26,160
Keep it in the family, lad.
Why shouldn't you have the benefit?
35
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:32,500
Besides, I remember you telling
our Glenda how you were ready for an exciting and new challenge.
36
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:39,480
But that was before I talked
to Glenda and we decided that we'd go for a new conservatory instead.
37
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,280
We'll just see how she behaves.
38
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:07,000
She just needs a touch more work
on the silencer.
39
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,420
How will she get through customs?
40
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:22,400
Imagine some Australian customs man
trying to sort through Nora Batty's underwear.
41
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,000
I don't care to think about that.
42
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:31,020
If they've not spoken for 50 years,
why has her sister suddenly sent her a ticket?
43
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:38,140
Well, I expect she's trying to make
it up. Gone soft in her old age. Too much sun. Their noses go white.
44
00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:42,160
The way they drink,
I thought that was froth!
45
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,780
They parted in the middle of a row.
46
00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:51,420
I expect the woman feels,
"50 years, I've had a good sulk, it's time to mend some fences."
47
00:04:51,420 --> 00:04:57,340
That's maybe what SHE thinks,
but I'll bet Nora's going there to finish the row.
48
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,720
He once water-skied down here.
49
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,260
He used to water-ski?
50
00:05:11,260 --> 00:05:15,200
I like it!
My father showing his real self.
51
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:21,480
And that was just his trousers.
No, he didn't use to water-ski. He just did it the once.
52
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:27,520
That was your father.
Try it, then move on. Like he did with your mother.
53
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:32,120
She always said she threw him out.
He was always getting thrown out.
54
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:38,620
Yeah, it got so that people
used to duck when passing pubs in case your father came flying out!
55
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:45,240
Yeah, but they couldn't
throw him out of The Bell because of the passing traffic,
56
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,540
so they'd take him to The Swan
and throw him out from there.
57
00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:54,920
Oh, you do tell me some dollop!
Why would he try to water-ski?
58
00:05:54,920 --> 00:06:00,980
You could talk him into anything.
Once you've tackled Nora Batty, what's a bit of danger?
59
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:06,960
Was it dangerous?
It was the way he did it. He was on home-made skis for a start.
60
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,460
I can't describe
what they looked like.
61
00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:12,720
Do you think my dad was a lunatic?
62
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,240
Close.
63
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,280
Who made the skis?
Wally Batty knocked a pair up.
64
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,840
They're probably still in his shed.
65
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:24,820
That's what they looked liked -
bits of Wally's shed.
66
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:42,620
He seems very restless for his age.
Are you overdoing his multivitamins?
67
00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:46,840
He only gets one a day till
he goes back to winter underwear.
68
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:51,380
Oh, I should cut him down to half
or fear the consequences.
69
00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:54,800
He does this act
at least once a day.
70
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:59,040
He's trying to give the impression
he's pining for the Great Outdoors.
71
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:03,500
But if he found the Great Outdoors,
he couldn't reach the knocker.
72
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:10,840
Tell him we're going out. See what
he thinks when it's YOU that's heading for the Great Outdoors.
73
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,400
He'd panic. Oh, I know, they do.
74
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:18,040
But I'm a firm believer that it's
good for them in occasional doses.
75
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:23,000
It stimulates their follicles
or something, I shouldn't wonder.
76
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,980
HE SIGHS
77
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:30,900
Will you stop sighing?
You sound like somebody's foot pump.
78
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:36,600
You don't understand the needs
a man has for his own space.
79
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:42,620
You'll get all the space you want
this afternoon. Roz and I are going out.
80
00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,200
Out?
81
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,260
You know - out - the opposite of in.
82
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:53,300
Where you going out? Where we going,
Roz? You don't even know? I don't even care.
83
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:57,960
We thought we'd spend a few
fulfilling hours in Huddersfield.
84
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:04,460
All alone? We're only going
shopping. Yeah, but we're gonna get dressed up and knock 'em dead, kiddo.
85
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:09,240
I don't think I like the idea of you
going out all dressed up all alone.
86
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:15,280
Do you know, I do believe
he doesn't understand the needs a woman has for her own space.
87
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,280
I'll come with you. Oh, no.
88
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:22,240
You can take your binoculars
and go and binocle.
89
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,140
I think it's deeply suspicious.
90
00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:28,160
SHE LAUGHS
91
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:38,500
I wish I'd known me father. We
understand your mother felt the same.
92
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:42,740
She did know him. She couldn't
get rid of him fast enough.
93
00:08:42,740 --> 00:08:48,920
And yours has thrown YOU out.
Golden touch with the ladies must run in the family.
94
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,440
He couldn't pick horses either.
95
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,260
I think we must spoil our women.
96
00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:56,760
What was me dad like?
97
00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:00,000
Probably prettier than your mother.
98
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,440
His women were always
a bit weathered.
99
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:09,700
A bit? Apart from her at
Throstlenest, they were all terrible. Faces like a bad knee.
100
00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:14,740
Strong, healthy girls, mind you.
He was always sure of a lift home.
101
00:09:14,740 --> 00:09:20,000
Me mother wasn't that bad.
I often wondered why it didn't last.
102
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:25,780
He was probably busy. Busy?
I thought you said he never worked.
103
00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:30,600
He hadn't time. Being idle
was a full-time job for your father.
104
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,980
Never took a weekend off.
105
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:38,180
MACHINE WHINES
Hey up, lads.
106
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:44,780
Some people will do ANYTHING
to be noticed.
107
00:09:46,297 --> 00:09:53,057
I'm ashamed of you. You let him
get away. He was only half your size and you let him get away!
108
00:09:53,057 --> 00:10:01,057
He wasn't interested in an old
wardrobe. He would say that. Nobody's born interested in old wardrobes.
109
00:10:01,057 --> 00:10:05,817
You have to create the passion
for it. He wanted a coffee table.
110
00:10:05,817 --> 00:10:10,857
Did you say that, when laid on its
side, it made a superb coffee table?
111
00:10:10,857 --> 00:10:17,057
Oh, I couldn't say things
like that and keep a straight face. You call that a straight face?
112
00:10:17,057 --> 00:10:23,197
Oh, look at this.
They've heard already about the spectacular value in wardrobes.
113
00:10:24,337 --> 00:10:26,877
I just wanted a word with Smiler.
114
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:31,517
Oh, suit yourself, but you'd get
more feedback from a wardrobe.
115
00:10:31,517 --> 00:10:36,597
I need a lift this afternoon,
Smiler. I want to follow Pearl.
116
00:10:36,597 --> 00:10:41,757
You want to follow your wife? Give
him time. He'll get the gist of it.
117
00:10:41,757 --> 00:10:47,117
For following wives, you'll need
something to alter your appearance.
118
00:10:47,117 --> 00:10:50,757
Well, do you think that's necessary?
Trust me, lad.
119
00:10:50,757 --> 00:10:54,777
Trust her? She'll have you
disguised as an old wardrobe.
120
00:10:54,777 --> 00:10:57,097
It's not his size.
121
00:10:57,097 --> 00:11:03,297
Now, how can we make you
blend into the background... any further?
122
00:11:04,537 --> 00:11:10,777
It's not that I'm checking up
on her. We have a marriage built on mutual trust.
123
00:11:10,777 --> 00:11:12,017
Hee-hee...!
124
00:11:12,017 --> 00:11:14,677
It's a matter of her own security.
125
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:21,677
She's lethal is this.
I thought tha were on fire.
126
00:11:21,677 --> 00:11:25,757
I was on fire - just a bit.
It wasn't just your cap?
127
00:11:25,757 --> 00:11:30,357
An eyebrow or two. At my age,
what do I need with eyebrows?
128
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:35,097
Not just smoke and flames, but it
could send you deaf. You what?
129
00:11:35,097 --> 00:11:37,017
Deaf.
130
00:11:37,017 --> 00:11:42,917
People pay good money for that
at rock concerts. Going deaf is quite expensive.
131
00:11:42,917 --> 00:11:48,017
It's not safe, this machine.
Mr Hardcastle thinks it's not safe.
132
00:11:48,017 --> 00:11:52,617
Mr Hardcastle thinks Mrs Hardcastle
is not safe. And he's right.
133
00:11:52,617 --> 00:11:59,137
He thinks, and I respect
his judgement, that it's highly dangerous. I just said she's noisy.
134
00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:05,797
Yes, noisy and highly dangerous.
You're only cooking with that combination. I went and married it.
135
00:12:09,277 --> 00:12:13,737
Could do with just a touch more,
for those who like crispy edges.
136
00:12:20,317 --> 00:12:24,297
Not only no eyebrows,
but crispy edges.
137
00:12:37,177 --> 00:12:39,737
What are you doing with my Barry?
138
00:12:39,737 --> 00:12:41,257
Oh!
139
00:12:41,257 --> 00:12:44,177
I won't have my Barry set alight.
140
00:12:44,177 --> 00:12:46,657
What's he doing with this thing?
141
00:12:47,777 --> 00:12:50,017
This THING?
142
00:12:50,017 --> 00:12:51,737
Thing?
143
00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:57,797
A major moment in the history
of catering. I'm bringing fast food to the wilderness.
144
00:12:57,797 --> 00:13:02,317
My Barry's not built for the
wilderness. I don't mind the edges.
145
00:13:02,317 --> 00:13:06,897
Oh, Barry. You know how
excitement brings you out in a rash.
146
00:13:06,897 --> 00:13:11,417
Glenda, do you really need
to let everybody know about that?
147
00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:16,237
I won't have my Barry doing
dangerous experimental catering.
148
00:13:16,237 --> 00:13:18,757
You're coming with me.
149
00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:21,657
I'm going to take you to safety.
150
00:13:34,977 --> 00:13:39,217
It was for his own good.
Why is he sulking, Mother?
151
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:41,297
They do.
152
00:13:41,297 --> 00:13:48,657
I once burned a pair
of your father's overalls to protect the environment. He sulked for days.
153
00:13:48,657 --> 00:13:55,517
I don't mind 'em sulking, but I hate
it when they leave their bun. It reflects badly on the establishment.
154
00:13:55,517 --> 00:14:00,297
I'm sorry. My Barry's normally
very reliable with a bun.
155
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:02,957
It's all because he's sulking.
156
00:14:02,957 --> 00:14:07,877
I'm not sulking.
This is humiliation. I'm ashamed.
157
00:14:07,877 --> 00:14:12,917
Guilt, you see. It's all coming
out now. It's another woman.
158
00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:18,497
Something flighty from the office.
Oh, Barry! No, no, let him go to her.
159
00:14:18,497 --> 00:14:24,437
You can come home.
Your bedroom's still there. I'm not leaving my built-in appliances.
160
00:14:26,097 --> 00:14:28,617
I've never cared for other women.
161
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:31,337
Why is he looking at me?
162
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:37,717
I'm feeling guilty because I've
fumbled the opportunity for doing something dangerous. Oh, Barry!
163
00:14:37,717 --> 00:14:41,917
I'm so relieved that it's only that
you want to do something dangerous.
164
00:14:41,917 --> 00:14:46,377
It is. I'm ashamed that I let you
drag me away in front of friends.
165
00:14:46,377 --> 00:14:52,857
Well, as long as there's
no other woman. I'm not having you doing anything dangerous.
166
00:14:52,857 --> 00:14:58,317
Think about that.
Best to keep them occupied. Never give them time to be bored.
167
00:14:58,317 --> 00:15:02,137
You never said you were bored
with me, Barry.
168
00:15:02,137 --> 00:15:04,677
I'm not bored with you.
169
00:15:04,677 --> 00:15:09,297
It's that a man needs the
adrenaline. The buzz. The charge.
170
00:15:09,297 --> 00:15:16,377
It has to be MY decision. It's
up to me if I want to test myself, bite the bullet, overcome fear.
171
00:15:16,377 --> 00:15:17,897
Eat your bun.
172
00:15:23,717 --> 00:15:27,757
What's that you're cooking in,
Wesley? BP or Castrol?
173
00:15:27,757 --> 00:15:32,317
Wesley, are you anticipating
a rush of customers out here?
174
00:15:32,317 --> 00:15:35,597
Perhaps we should stand back
before the crush comes.
175
00:15:35,597 --> 00:15:38,377
They'll be attracted
by the powerful smell.
176
00:15:38,377 --> 00:15:44,417
His overalls. He thinks people are
coming for miles for a sniff of his overalls. An acquired taste, I think.
177
00:15:44,417 --> 00:15:50,417
They'll come when they smell summat
cooking. Not your cap again, Wesley. It smells terrible.
178
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,937
Fifi!
179
00:15:51,937 --> 00:15:53,997
Here, girl!
180
00:15:53,997 --> 00:15:56,817
Fifi!
HE WHISTLES
181
00:15:56,817 --> 00:15:58,637
Fifi!
182
00:15:59,237 --> 00:16:03,097
Here we go, then,
our first customer.
183
00:16:03,097 --> 00:16:05,477
Er, have you seen...?
184
00:16:07,417 --> 00:16:10,197
She runs off, you know.
185
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,677
FIFI! HERE, GIRL!
186
00:16:15,677 --> 00:16:18,717
Show yourself, you little bitch.
HE WHISTLES
187
00:16:18,717 --> 00:16:22,897
Fifi! Here, girl!
Er, perhaps if we all shouted!
188
00:16:22,897 --> 00:16:25,897
Would you do that? That's friendly.
189
00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:29,277
Er, do we have to shout Fifi?
190
00:16:29,277 --> 00:16:34,317
It's a bit far out for me. Er,
couldn't I shout Mabel or something?
191
00:16:34,317 --> 00:16:39,017
Her name's Fifi. Yeah, well,
maybe that's why she's hiding.
192
00:16:39,017 --> 00:16:45,897
She's hiding because we've had
an argument. You know how they expect more commitment than you can give.
193
00:16:45,897 --> 00:16:49,197
Your dog expects more commitment?
194
00:16:49,197 --> 00:16:53,097
What dog?
I'm talking girlfriend here.
195
00:16:54,757 --> 00:16:58,857
FIFI! Where are you?
Show yourself, you little...!
196
00:16:58,857 --> 00:17:01,437
Look, you know I love you.
197
00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:06,097
I told you that was just an accident
with Mrs Gothridge.
198
00:17:06,097 --> 00:17:08,137
Fifi!
199
00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,317
Where are you, girl?
200
00:17:17,517 --> 00:17:22,377
You never told me you could look
attractive. You never asked.
201
00:17:22,377 --> 00:17:24,957
Do you think it's wise at your age?
202
00:17:24,957 --> 00:17:29,677
I don't think it's wise at YOUR age
to be getting funny about MY age.
203
00:17:29,677 --> 00:17:34,717
Roz always looks smart, so I'm not
going looking like a used tea bag.
204
00:17:34,717 --> 00:17:38,237
I like you
looking like a used tea bag.
205
00:17:38,237 --> 00:17:42,737
Close your mouth before you
finish up with both feet in it.
206
00:17:42,737 --> 00:17:45,297
What time are you going to be back?
207
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:51,777
I've no idea. Not late, I hope.
You shouldn't go galavanting at all hours - a married woman.
208
00:17:51,777 --> 00:17:54,057
Listen to who's talking.
209
00:17:54,057 --> 00:17:55,257
Yoo-hoo!
210
00:17:55,257 --> 00:17:59,817
Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?
And smudge my make-up? No, thanks.
211
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:06,757
There was a time you couldn't resist
kissing me. I wouldn't say that. I mean, life was just starting.
212
00:18:06,757 --> 00:18:11,817
A lot of it was curiosity.
And I must say it's got curiouser.
213
00:18:13,077 --> 00:18:18,317
Come on, Roz. Ooh, the soulful eyes
of abandoned husbands!
214
00:18:18,317 --> 00:18:22,937
Maybe we should take him. You're
not taking him. Be strong, girl.
215
00:18:22,937 --> 00:18:27,577
They're not welcome in ladies' dress
shops. They leave hairs everywhere.
216
00:18:27,577 --> 00:18:31,797
Oh, be good, Howard. I promise
I'll get her back in one piece.
217
00:18:31,797 --> 00:18:36,697
Or a smart two-piece with a nice
collar and matching accessories.
218
00:18:36,697 --> 00:18:39,457
Ooh, he'll not sleep a wink now!
219
00:18:56,417 --> 00:18:58,837
Fifi! Where are you, love?
220
00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:04,837
I hate the thought that the word
might spread that Norman Clegg was seen looking for a Fifi.
221
00:19:04,837 --> 00:19:07,417
I'd rather she was called Marion.
222
00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:13,457
What a pair of choosies!
It was either this or watching Wesley burn some bangers.
223
00:19:13,457 --> 00:19:20,117
I was in the Vice Squad last time
I had to look for a Fifi. And he was a steel erector from Chesterfield.
224
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:24,377
Does he drive a Mini?
He usually wears a mini.
225
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:29,577
I think I've seen him in Leeds.
Well, that's funny.
226
00:19:29,717 --> 00:19:34,137
Not these days.
No, I mean, you being in Leeds.
227
00:19:34,137 --> 00:19:38,637
There was this bloke selling
his authentic medieval hunting horn.
228
00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:43,237
I can see where he wouldn't need it
in Leeds. Made in Taiwan?
229
00:19:43,237 --> 00:19:48,017
He explained that. He had it
stamped on to discourage thieves.
230
00:19:50,477 --> 00:19:52,437
Fifi!
231
00:19:53,697 --> 00:19:56,537
Fifi! Fifi!
232
00:20:05,697 --> 00:20:08,217
Fifi, where are you, love?
233
00:20:09,837 --> 00:20:13,857
They're after me.
I know the feeling.
234
00:20:13,857 --> 00:20:17,877
It's such a responsibility,
this power over men.
235
00:20:17,877 --> 00:20:22,597
I've given him the best years
of my life. I know that feeling too.
236
00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:27,417
You do? ..I knew it. You look
like someone who'd understand.
237
00:20:27,417 --> 00:20:29,717
Oh, I do. I do.
238
00:20:30,777 --> 00:20:33,417
Men are such swines. I know.
239
00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:36,937
Don't you wish
we could do without them?
240
00:20:36,937 --> 00:20:43,957
Do you know, I sometimes think
about becoming a nun. Been there. Done that. You've been a nun?
241
00:20:43,957 --> 00:20:47,457
No, but I've sometimes
thought about it.
242
00:20:47,457 --> 00:20:49,837
I knew you'd be simpatico.
243
00:20:49,837 --> 00:20:53,897
It's wonderful to have another girl
to talk to.
244
00:20:53,897 --> 00:20:58,717
But you can't talk to them. Oh, I
know. I asked him to be open with me.
245
00:20:58,717 --> 00:21:03,697
"Bare your soul to me," I said. "I'm
listening. What's troubling you?"
246
00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:09,737
"Do you think Liverpool
are going to win?" he said. We're just playthings.
247
00:21:09,737 --> 00:21:16,197
But guess who has to come
back out here all alone to find her own earring. Fifi! Fifi!
248
00:21:16,197 --> 00:21:20,697
They're getting closer.
You should teach him a lesson.
249
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:22,777
We both should.
250
00:21:22,777 --> 00:21:24,957
Down with men!
251
00:21:24,957 --> 00:21:27,417
Well, for a while anyway.
252
00:21:32,597 --> 00:21:35,077
Do you smell cooking?
253
00:21:46,457 --> 00:21:49,017
Does he think he's invisible?
254
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:51,337
He thinks he's irresistible.
255
00:21:51,337 --> 00:21:53,637
Invisible's closer.
256
00:21:53,637 --> 00:21:59,217
How's he planning to follow us?
Probably get a lift from some other idiot.
257
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:05,697
Oh, I'm pleased about that. I don't
think I could bear the sight of a man's legs moving at critical speeds.
258
00:22:15,697 --> 00:22:18,277
Hop on, then. What, on this? Yes.
259
00:22:18,277 --> 00:22:22,097
Where's your vehicle?
It wouldn't start.
260
00:22:22,097 --> 00:22:24,557
It's this or nothing.
261
00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:28,397
She's gone.
262
00:22:28,397 --> 00:22:33,377
She's not answering, anyway.
Neither would I to a name like Fifi.
263
00:22:33,377 --> 00:22:35,217
Gone.
264
00:22:35,217 --> 00:22:37,317
Left me.
265
00:22:37,317 --> 00:22:43,297
I shall always remember
that night in Blackpool. Did the illuminations, did you?
266
00:22:43,297 --> 00:22:45,417
I did everything for that woman.
267
00:22:45,417 --> 00:22:47,857
Big dipper as well, was it?
268
00:22:48,937 --> 00:22:54,597
If he's going to get depressed,
shouldn't we start singing or something?
269
00:22:54,597 --> 00:22:58,877
He's bound to be depressed. He's
just mislaid the woman he loves.
270
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:03,897
The good news is I can offer him the
services of my Lonely Hearts' Club.
271
00:23:03,897 --> 00:23:07,917
What I really need
is a Broken Hearts' Club.
272
00:23:07,917 --> 00:23:11,897
The wife's sister's available.
Only one previous owner.
273
00:23:13,937 --> 00:23:16,457
I shall never get over this.
274
00:23:16,457 --> 00:23:18,997
Who's for an 'ot dog?
275
00:23:18,997 --> 00:23:23,537
Aye, OK. We'll have a hot dog,
then I'll never get over it.
276
00:23:49,257 --> 00:23:55,277
Oh, I never thought they'd fall
for it! Well, we're not talking rocket scientists.
277
00:23:55,277 --> 00:24:00,197
My Howard once fell for a bargain
offer in double glazing. People do.
278
00:24:00,197 --> 00:24:04,957
Well, not when they've already got
double glazing. I see what you mean.
279
00:24:04,957 --> 00:24:10,177
If it's gullible we're after,
we're backing the favourites here!
280
00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:30,297
Oh, it's no good. He had his wife
with him. There's always a snag.
281
00:24:30,297 --> 00:24:37,317
Won't a taxi be expensive?
Even if we get his special rate for attractive young ladies.
282
00:24:37,317 --> 00:24:41,737
I'm not calling a taxi. I'm calling
my bloke...to tell him I'm leaving.
283
00:24:41,737 --> 00:24:47,757
Tell him I've met a new friend
and we hate men. Well, I suppose that's true.
284
00:24:47,757 --> 00:24:51,537
I'm known
for a certain coolness towards men.
285
00:24:51,897 --> 00:24:58,277
They taste better in the fresh air.
It's the little bits of motor oil that make the difference.
286
00:24:58,277 --> 00:25:00,817
I've wiped me hands. On what?
287
00:25:00,817 --> 00:25:03,397
On what I always wipe me hands on.
288
00:25:03,397 --> 00:25:08,437
I don't care. They're still tasty.
I do care, and they're still tasty.
289
00:25:08,437 --> 00:25:12,957
Another triumph for British
engineering. More mustard, anyone?
290
00:25:12,957 --> 00:25:16,477
Down, Delia!
Don't get so thee cap won't fit.
291
00:25:16,477 --> 00:25:20,677
No, you can't leave.
I won't let you leave. I love you.
292
00:25:21,957 --> 00:25:26,017
She's leaving. I need a lift.
You need a lift?
293
00:25:35,637 --> 00:25:39,657
You made me look a right primrose
in front of people.
294
00:25:39,657 --> 00:25:42,037
I can love a primrose, Barry.
295
00:25:42,037 --> 00:25:45,717
I don't want you thinking of me
as a primrose.
296
00:25:45,717 --> 00:25:49,357
I want you to think of me as...
El Magnifico.
297
00:25:49,357 --> 00:25:54,317
El Lobo, if you'd rather.
This is a sports car, Barry.
298
00:25:54,317 --> 00:25:58,937
You're driving a sports car!
How much thrill do you want?
299
00:25:58,937 --> 00:26:03,617
This isn't a sports car.
It's just a car with no lid on.
300
00:26:03,617 --> 00:26:09,917
I don't see why you can't satisfy
your need for speed and excitement in mother's sports car.
301
00:26:09,917 --> 00:26:14,877
The only time this car's exciting
is when your mother's driving it.
302
00:26:33,517 --> 00:26:37,097
You know,
your Howard's quite fit for his age.
303
00:26:37,097 --> 00:26:43,017
The age when he left,
or the age he's going to be by the time he gets home?
304
00:28:37,737 --> 00:28:43,757
I think Wesley's
a bit heavy with the oil, especially on his overalls.
305
00:28:43,757 --> 00:28:48,617
Try as they like, I don't think
cookery will ever replace good food.
306
00:28:48,617 --> 00:28:53,417
Don't you get fed up watching
all these cookery programmes?
307
00:28:53,467 --> 00:28:58,017
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