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1
00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:49,840
Are you up? Are you dressed?
2
00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:55,420
Are you interested? Stop fooling
about. I want to talk to you.
3
00:00:55,420 --> 00:01:01,500
All right. You talk to me,
then we'll start fooling about.
4
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:06,580
It's no good. I knew
you'd not make any sense.
5
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:12,020
I want a favour. What are you doin'
this morning? The usual.
6
00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:15,360
Nothing. That's good.
7
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:22,400
Get yourself dressed.
There's somethin' I want to show you in me bedroom.
8
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:29,160
It can't be Christmas already!
Ho-ohhh!
9
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:39,560
What do you think, Cleggy?
Do you think I could become an expert at disguise?
10
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:46,960
No good asking me, Howard.
Anybody could fool me. I thought Sooty was real.
11
00:01:55,260 --> 00:02:00,960
How about this one?
Would you know it was me?
12
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:06,040
Know it was who?
You wouldn't know it was me?
13
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:11,300
It's Fu Manchu.
I'm living next door...
14
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,880
to Fu Manchu.
15
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:18,160
I think I could fool most people
like this.
16
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,760
Good morning, Howard.
17
00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:31,960
Well, are you coming?
ARE YOU COMING? I'm coming!
18
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,640
I'm coming!
19
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:49,540
What the dickens have you done
to your hair? Fred Astaire used to wear his hair like this.
20
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:56,840
What d'you think, Ginger?
There may be trouble ahead... Get off!
21
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:05,340
What's that smell?
That's me dynamite. Me aftershave. But you haven't shaved! I know.
22
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:12,900
I just thought I'd use a bit
of aftershave. What're you dressed up for? Me?
23
00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:19,700
I always dress up
for special occasions. What's special about today?
24
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:24,320
You'll find out. Ooooh!
Come inside.
25
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:29,740
Give me your honest opinion
about this one.
26
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:37,760
It's a lady.
It's a really weird-looking lady.
27
00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:48,960
You'll get arrested
for impersonating ladies. I'm not a lady. I'm a hippy!
28
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:53,260
I think I liked you better
as a lady.
29
00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:57,520
I think it alters
me whole personality.
30
00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,400
This disguise is impenetrable.
31
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:07,700
You're not taking any strong
medication for anything, Howard? No.
32
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:10,560
Maybe you should start.
33
00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:14,260
Why do you need a disguise, Howard?
34
00:04:14,260 --> 00:04:21,800
Well, you never know
when it might come in handy. Like any moment now, Howard.
35
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,900
Can I have a word with you, Howard?
36
00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:35,040
Indoors. Before someone whisks you
away to some high-walled institution.
37
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,560
How did she know it was me?
38
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:52,680
How long has Howard
been an imbecile? For years.
39
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,420
Oh, speaking of imbeciles...!
40
00:04:56,420 --> 00:05:01,520
Looks like a touch of depression
this morning.
41
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:08,800
Look at his hair.
Somebody's run over his head. Me head's not been run over.
42
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:14,460
Then a very good day to you,
little smarmy person. Bog off!
43
00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:22,180
Fluent in Russian, but the strain
has made his hair grow flat. Knockers! It's the funny alphabet.
44
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:26,160
Didn't do too well
at learning his own.
45
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:34,280
All she wanted was somebody
to shift some furniture. Aw...
46
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:40,120
An' it wasn't even in HER bedroom.
Some old mangle she wanted shifted.
47
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:43,440
An' did I know anybody who'd do it?
48
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:49,460
No, you don't! That would look well
in the Times Educational Supplement.
49
00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:54,580
"Former headmaster
seen shifting mangles."
50
00:05:54,580 --> 00:06:00,120
Where does she want it moving to?
Miles away. Sammy Peters' place.
51
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:08,220
It's not exactly next door.
Why does anybody need a mangle? Sammy Peters collects anythin'.
52
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:12,200
Yes. You've only got to look at
Mrs Peters.
53
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:18,260
I hope you didn't say we'd help.
I'm not your mangle-moving type.
54
00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:19,660
Ohh!
55
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:25,880
You did, didn't you?
You told her we'd help.
56
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:33,360
I can't help it. I go to pieces
when I gaze into them deep, brown wrinkles. Oooh.
57
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,860
Well, good luck then.
58
00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:41,780
Alright, so I parted me hair
for nowt. There'll be another day.
59
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:49,040
Especially when she finds out
she has a useful neighbour. Who knows where that might lead?
60
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,280
To Sammy Peters' place, perhaps.
61
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:56,660
No wonder Nora had to turn to you
for assistance.
62
00:06:56,660 --> 00:07:01,520
Nobody else is stupid enough
to take the job on.
63
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:08,540
There you are, you see.
You're special! Who else would she turn to, eh?
64
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:12,200
I can't let her down, Norm.
65
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:17,300
I thought she had more sense.
Fancy relying on you lot.
66
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:24,660
Don't include me in this.
You're not my idea of a competent mangle-moving squad.
67
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:26,660
Movers!
68
00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:30,240
You couldn't move a vote of thanks.
69
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:37,460
Well, I, for one,
am not getting involved. You can't resist getting involved.
70
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:40,280
We shall see.
71
00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:52,280
Tilt it this way. This way!
I've got a natural tilt this way.
72
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:59,560
Mind me paint!
Are you sure you can manage?
73
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:05,240
Just leave it to me, love.
You've got the right bloke here.
74
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:12,100
Is it part of the plan
that it should be crushing me finger?
75
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,240
Aaaggh!
76
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,980
Ohhh! Aaagh!
77
00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:24,620
Stop it! I can't bear it!
I can't bear to see grown men making such a bog-hole of a job.
78
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:31,740
Put it down. You've got your hands
above the pivotal point. Hands down here.
79
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:34,780
That's it. Welcome aboard, Seymour.
80
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:42,440
I thought you didn't want
to get involved? Shut up and lift. Mind me paint! Never fear, madam!
81
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:47,480
GRUNTING AND GROANING
82
00:08:53,245 --> 00:08:57,805
No, no, no.
You're not shaping at your end.
83
00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:03,145
After this, I hate to think
what shape I'll be at my end.
84
00:09:03,145 --> 00:09:05,925
I'm doin' it for Nora Batty.
85
00:09:05,925 --> 00:09:09,305
I hope I retain all me faculties.
86
00:09:09,305 --> 00:09:18,285
It was me mother's mangle.
I feel a bit guilty about parting with it. We're not putting it back!
87
00:09:18,285 --> 00:09:23,925
Let's get some co-ordination
in this. We're not getting anywhere.
88
00:09:23,925 --> 00:09:26,725
Wait! Hold it! Oh!
89
00:09:27,845 --> 00:09:30,985
My tie! My tie! Ohh...!
90
00:09:30,985 --> 00:09:34,205
Aaaggh! Aaaggghhh!
91
00:09:35,425 --> 00:09:38,485
Oh, he's goin' a funny colour.
92
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:42,345
I think he's clashing
with her paintwork.
93
00:09:42,345 --> 00:09:44,845
Ohhhhhh!
94
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,485
Why is he making noises like that?
95
00:09:47,485 --> 00:09:53,245
Did you catch what Seymour said?
Nah. He's always rabbiting.
96
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:14,692
Ohhh! I haven't been followed,
Howard.
97
00:10:14,692 --> 00:10:18,012
I've been particularly careful.
98
00:10:18,812 --> 00:10:26,412
I must say you've got lovely hands,
Howard, for a former employee of the power industry.
99
00:10:26,412 --> 00:10:31,992
Aagh! Who are you,
you cheeky old goat? How dare you?
100
00:10:31,992 --> 00:10:37,052
Nice thing being grabbed
in broad daylight in a public place!
101
00:10:37,052 --> 00:10:40,152
It's me, love. It's me.
102
00:10:41,532 --> 00:10:43,592
Ohh.
103
00:10:56,492 --> 00:11:04,872
Did you have to do it that way?
That weren't much of a tie anyroads. It's not now.
104
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:08,512
For you, my sweet, my flower.
Oh!
105
00:11:26,412 --> 00:11:29,072
Leave it to Seymour.
106
00:11:30,592 --> 00:11:35,632
How are you goin' to get it
to Sammy Peters without a vehicle?
107
00:11:35,632 --> 00:11:41,732
Never fear. I am not just somebody
with his tie in a mangle.
108
00:11:51,012 --> 00:11:54,132
Come in, Barry. It's his day off.
109
00:11:54,852 --> 00:11:57,672
I COULD stay in the car.
110
00:11:57,672 --> 00:12:01,732
I'd rather stay in the car.
He would.
111
00:12:01,732 --> 00:12:09,852
But you won't. You'll sit down
and take an intelligent interest in people's conversation.
112
00:12:09,852 --> 00:12:12,812
Nobody's going to eat you, Barry.
113
00:12:12,812 --> 00:12:20,292
And I daren't let him near me dad.
He gets him covered in oil. Sit down, Barry.
114
00:12:30,752 --> 00:12:35,852
If I don't bring him,
he just sits around reading books.
115
00:12:35,852 --> 00:12:38,832
What kind of books?
116
00:12:38,832 --> 00:12:45,512
Not THAT kind. Any kind of books.
Particularly educational.
117
00:12:45,512 --> 00:12:50,652
Home Improvements,
Principles of Accountancy...
118
00:12:50,652 --> 00:12:53,612
..Those kind of books.
119
00:12:54,432 --> 00:12:59,412
He doesn't wear a blonde wig
and dark glasses.
120
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,972
Marina?
121
00:13:01,972 --> 00:13:04,712
Marina be bothered. It's Howard.
122
00:13:11,072 --> 00:13:14,132
Howard?!
Yes.
123
00:13:15,092 --> 00:13:18,072
Not in front of Barry.
124
00:13:18,072 --> 00:13:23,492
How many sugars, Barry?
One or two, Barry?
125
00:13:23,492 --> 00:13:29,272
Barry...!
It's no good. He wants two sugars.
126
00:13:29,272 --> 00:13:34,292
I felt I had to tell someone.
Oh, you did right, love.
127
00:13:34,292 --> 00:13:36,772
Tell us everything.
128
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:40,292
You're sure Barry's not listening?
129
00:13:40,292 --> 00:13:45,332
He never listens.
They never listen. That's one good thing.
130
00:13:45,332 --> 00:13:48,232
There's your coffee, Barry.
131
00:13:48,232 --> 00:13:51,212
On the table in front of you.
132
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:58,312
He reminds me of your father
when he comes home. Must be biological.
133
00:13:58,312 --> 00:14:03,852
Their ears automatically close
when they get indoors. Here...
134
00:14:03,852 --> 00:14:11,892
About Howard...
Are you leading me to understand that your Howard is wearing...
135
00:14:14,332 --> 00:14:20,332
Are you sure your Barry
isn't listening? With his head in a book?
136
00:14:20,332 --> 00:14:24,532
The house is on fire, Barry.
137
00:14:24,532 --> 00:14:30,732
If I were you, I should move.
The house is on fire, Barry.
138
00:14:33,252 --> 00:14:36,512
Right, a blonde wig and...
139
00:14:36,512 --> 00:14:40,912
Can Barry come and...
Out!
140
00:14:40,912 --> 00:14:44,572
I just want him to give me...
OUT!
141
00:14:44,572 --> 00:14:47,452
Alright, I can take a hint.
142
00:14:47,452 --> 00:14:55,672
A lady's blonde wig...
MY blonde wig. And lady's glasses?
143
00:14:55,672 --> 00:15:00,532
How can you tell the sex
of glasses?
144
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:06,532
That'll be enough questions
on that line, thank you, our Glenda.
145
00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:13,492
Look, you pop down to the shop
for a packet of delicious rich tea biscuits.
146
00:15:13,492 --> 00:15:16,652
Mother, I just bought some.
147
00:15:18,052 --> 00:15:22,772
You're getting very cunning,
young lady. Mother!
148
00:15:22,772 --> 00:15:28,192
Where was he wearing
this blonde wig? On his head.
149
00:15:30,612 --> 00:15:38,612
If it'd been on his feet
I wouldn't have minded. Why would he wear it on his feet?
150
00:15:38,612 --> 00:15:41,392
Why would he wear it on his head?
151
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:50,052
Did you feel his forehead?
Is he running a temperature?
152
00:15:50,052 --> 00:15:57,892
When you see him in that wig,
the last thing you feel like doing is stroking his forehead.
153
00:15:59,272 --> 00:16:05,212
Was he...fond of playing with...
DOLLS when he was a child?
154
00:16:07,072 --> 00:16:12,012
I think that's an urge
he's developed since he's grown up.
155
00:16:12,792 --> 00:16:17,812
Well, I will say this much
about my Wesley...
156
00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:26,412
He is inclined to leave marks
on the furniture, but he has NEVER worn anything funny on his head.
157
00:16:26,412 --> 00:16:27,812
No...
158
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:37,032
Who was wearing a blonde wig?
159
00:16:38,252 --> 00:16:44,172
Will you wait in the car, Barry?
ALL: Yes, wait in the car, Barry.
160
00:16:46,412 --> 00:16:49,512
Was I right, or was I right?
161
00:16:49,512 --> 00:16:54,652
It goes beautifully
on these old go-cart wheels.
162
00:16:54,652 --> 00:17:02,252
A further improvement
would be a length of rope. Tha doesn't have to hang theeself.
163
00:17:02,252 --> 00:17:08,892
Go and find some rope,
then one of you can pull, and one can push.
164
00:17:10,212 --> 00:17:13,172
Sounds like a buffet supper.
165
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:21,492
Ah-hah!
166
00:17:33,032 --> 00:17:38,412
Are you sure she won't mind?
It's for her damn mangle.
167
00:18:01,992 --> 00:18:07,052
If anybody sees this,
I'm not with uou.
168
00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:14,132
This is not suitable employment
for a person with numerous credit cards.
169
00:18:14,132 --> 00:18:19,052
I am a passer-by,
a neutral observer. A big gob!
170
00:18:19,052 --> 00:18:26,592
Some of us were born
to push mangles. And some of us have mangles thrust upon us.
171
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:50,440
A short cut! You great Jessie.
We gotta be up there!
172
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:55,460
It'll take hours to get back up
there. Leave it to Seymour.
173
00:18:56,140 --> 00:19:02,460
I've had it. This is more demanding
than a second marriage.
174
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:08,780
We don't have to lug it
all the way back. We have the rope.
175
00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:12,660
We'll hoist it.
176
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:26,160
All we need is a simple lasso.
177
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:55,620
Can't all be going to jump.
No. They're three old loonies I keep seein' swanning about.
178
00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:05,720
Ah! That'll do.
179
00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:31,340
Let go!
180
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:44,580
Good day, officers.
Careful you don't fall.
181
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:53,000
Goodness, no. Just showing my chaps
here the rudiments of landscape familiarisation.
182
00:20:53,000 --> 00:21:00,480
The teaching habit dies hard.
If you fall off, YOU'LL die hard. Be careful.
183
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:08,220
Let's get on with it. Quick!
184
00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:20,620
Local knowledge, you see.
We walked up to investigate, I spotted who it was.
185
00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:28,140
Local knowledge enabled me
to reach the conclusion that everything was okay.
186
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:30,220
Local knowledge.
187
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,180
Hey up...
188
00:22:03,180 --> 00:22:05,320
an oasis.
189
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:10,140
Why not?
We've been working like camels.
190
00:22:10,140 --> 00:22:16,360
Well, you push it in,
I'll follow along behind. Give us a push.
191
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:20,700
Tha legs are more like a camel's
than ours.
192
00:22:38,420 --> 00:22:47,040
Hey, you can't park that there!
You're not turning my car park into a graveyard for old junk!
193
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:52,480
You want us to bring it inside?
Take it round the back.
194
00:22:54,200 --> 00:23:01,700
Chuff me! Everywhere else
it's the age of the satellite. An' I'm still getting mangles!
195
00:23:29,020 --> 00:23:33,500
Have you had an accident
with that Mini?
196
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:41,200
Sit thee down, Eli.
I've no confidence in those Minis. Nobody hurt, I hope?
197
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:46,380
Hernia. Gallopin' hernia.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
198
00:23:46,380 --> 00:23:49,820
Don't look at me. It's him!
199
00:23:49,820 --> 00:23:52,760
Has HE got one as well?
200
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:58,740
Don't concern yourself, Eli.
We're all in reasonable condition,
201
00:23:58,740 --> 00:24:03,660
considering we've just been
thoroughly mangled.
202
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,660
There's some bigger hills
still to climb.
203
00:24:07,660 --> 00:24:13,180
We'll do what Englishmen
always do in a crisis. What's that?
204
00:24:13,180 --> 00:24:16,400
Forget it and go home.
205
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:20,660
We can't!
I'm doin' this for Nora Batty!
206
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:25,660
Don't worry. We won't abandon you,
little twotty pot.
207
00:24:25,660 --> 00:24:29,660
But we need to give this
some thought.
208
00:24:29,660 --> 00:24:35,380
Who's driven you up here, Eli?
Our Frank. Good old Frank.
209
00:24:35,380 --> 00:24:40,660
Good old Frank. Good old Frank.
Here's to Frankie.
210
00:24:40,660 --> 00:24:43,860
To Frankie. Good old Frank.
211
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:07,620
You see?
These things can be arranged.
212
00:25:07,620 --> 00:25:14,380
I hope we won't end up mangled.
How many people get the chance to ride a mangle?
213
00:25:25,740 --> 00:25:33,860
I should've had more sense
than to leave it to that lot. But you get desperate.
214
00:25:33,860 --> 00:25:38,940
Don't concern yourself.
Barry will drive us, won't you?
215
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:45,340
I said Barry will drive us,
won't you?
216
00:25:48,660 --> 00:25:51,020
Barry!
217
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,100
What?
218
00:26:10,940 --> 00:26:13,540
Are they alright?
219
00:26:14,860 --> 00:26:17,200
Eli! Eli!
220
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,020
Aye, they're fine.
221
00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:26,860
Absolutely fine.
222
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:41,220
Barry, you're unbearable.
It's rude to ignore people.
223
00:26:41,220 --> 00:26:44,340
I just don't realise they're there!
224
00:26:44,340 --> 00:26:47,900
Well, it's rude not to realise that.
225
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:50,940
People get funny ideas from books.
226
00:26:51,220 --> 00:26:57,880
It's not THAT kind.
I wish you'd stop reading. Your Uncle Seymour reads.
227
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:02,020
Seymour's one of the cultivated
classes.
228
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,720
Who's this fool, comin' at us?
229
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:12,320
What're you doin'
on the grass verge, Barry?
230
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,860
Avoiding this flying mangle!
231
00:27:20,980 --> 00:27:23,700
Why are they playin' with my mangle?
232
00:27:33,860 --> 00:27:36,820
Oh...ah...oh...
233
00:27:39,140 --> 00:27:42,040
Come on, get up!
234
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,340
Aaagh...
235
00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:00,820
Was that our Seymour?
236
00:28:00,820 --> 00:28:08,360
Well, it's not just somebody
with his tie in the mangle. Let's get out of here.
237
00:28:47,260 --> 00:28:51,740
Subtitles by Wilma Campbell
BBC - 1989
238
00:28:51,790 --> 00:28:56,340
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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