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1
00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:01,860
Ey up, Nora. You look a fair treat
this morning. Where are you off to?
2
00:01:01,860 --> 00:01:04,360
None of your business!
3
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,860
What the dickens is that?
4
00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:09,440
What does it look like?
5
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:11,980
A foggy day in Barnsley!
6
00:01:11,980 --> 00:01:17,040
You're not leaving washing like that
out there! Why not?
7
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:21,060
In case some damn fool
thinks it's mine.
8
00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:25,600
I know you usually wear
sensible stuff underneath,
9
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:29,680
but no-one will think
you'd go this far.
10
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:35,660
How do you know
what I wear underneath? I see you pegging them out!
11
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:38,240
You shouldn't be looking.
12
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:43,800
Don't worry, lass. It won't
put me off my steak and kidney pud!
13
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:50,900
Well, I must say,
you look very tasty this morning! Keep your distance!
14
00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:56,400
Take them damn things down. Put them
in a bucket, and I'll wash them later.
15
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,420
I've just washed them.
16
00:01:58,420 --> 00:02:00,900
Ye gods!
17
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,400
HELLO!
18
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:08,460
Nora Batty
is interfering with my underwear!
19
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:13,400
Oh! You mustn't interfere
with Compo's underwear. Keep away!
20
00:02:21,420 --> 00:02:25,380
Nora Batty
were looking tasty this morning.
21
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:35,600
I SAID, Nora Batty
were looking tasty this morning.
22
00:02:37,260 --> 00:02:42,220
You don't say. Yes I do. Oh, well,
I'll go to the foot of our stairs.
23
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,940
Talk to yourself, Compo.
24
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,760
Wind in the west, is it?
25
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,680
Slightly southwest.
26
00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:59,900
Forecast was quite good.
27
00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:08,640
I'm so glad that everybody finds
my little bit of news so interesting.
28
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:11,160
I didn't expect you to overdo it.
29
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:15,140
I didn't expect you
to jump up and down.
30
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,660
What's he on about?
31
00:03:18,660 --> 00:03:22,220
I'm on about Nora Batty.
32
00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:27,800
You should have seen her
this morning. Talk about done up!
33
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:32,840
Well, she could stand a bit!
They've done the town hall up.
34
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,920
There they have something to go on!
Bog off!
35
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:42,920
She looked terrific. That woman
inflames a bloke's senses, I tell you.
36
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,460
Like scarlet fever?
37
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:47,640
No! Like Vivien Leigh.
38
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:52,420
Oh. Scarlett O'Fever!
39
00:03:53,960 --> 00:04:01,060
The thing is,
where was Nora Batty going looking so delicious?
40
00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:05,640
Didn't you ask? Yes.
She wouldn't tell me.
41
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:12,760
I expect she was going
to the doctor's. Why the doctor's?
42
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,280
They always get dressed up for that.
43
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:21,080
That generation only looks
half-smart when they're half-dead!
44
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,920
She wasn't going to the doctor's.
45
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,960
She's a fit lass, she is.
46
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,040
Packs a wallop like a kangaroo!
47
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:36,440
THAT'S who she looks like.
Not Vivien Leigh. A kangaroo!
48
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,740
What's wrong with him?
49
00:04:45,740 --> 00:04:48,180
I think we hurt his feelings.
50
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,580
Here. Get this down
and stop sulking.
51
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:06,240
You can't drink AND sulk.
52
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:11,280
This stuff is too expensive
to be ignored while you drink it.
53
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:14,340
Stop mocking the woman I love.
54
00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:17,720
Good grief! What do you think
the Almighty designed her for?!
55
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,220
I've fancied Nora Batty for years.
56
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:23,220
Then YOU should see a doctor!
57
00:05:23,220 --> 00:05:25,760
Can't explain it. Me neither.
58
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,340
Must be something chemical.
59
00:05:28,340 --> 00:05:31,060
Oh. Like Harpic?
60
00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:37,700
I wonder where she were going.
61
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:48,680
You can't just go round
asking people where Nora Batty is.
62
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,320
It's none of your business.
It's rude to pry.
63
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:57,660
I'm not going to ask straight out.
I'm going to be crafty about it.
64
00:05:57,660 --> 00:06:00,380
This I must see. SHOP!
65
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,060
Wait a minute!
66
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:12,500
I don't want to pry
into Nora Batty's life.
67
00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:18,000
I do. Don't worry about it, Norm.
If there's any prying, I'll do it.
68
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:25,060
I'm not superstitious,
but some mysteries of the universe are best left alone.
69
00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:27,800
SHOP!
70
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,320
Can't you wait two minutes?!
71
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,060
I was putting buns in the oven.
72
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:38,440
You should be ashamed of yourself!
DON'T!
73
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,960
You're under pressure, Ivy.
74
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:48,140
You should stop
to listen to the birds and look at the blue sky.
75
00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:51,160
I don't want your old flannel!
76
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,120
Why don't we come back later?
77
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,800
Or even later than that?!
78
00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:00,900
Sit down!
79
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:03,540
Seymour! Sit down.
80
00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:11,640
Three teas, Ivy.
And one for Nora when she comes.
81
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,360
Nora?
82
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:19,180
Nora B-A-T-T-Y!
83
00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:23,640
I KNOW which Nora.
How do you know she's coming here?
84
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,080
I have a nasty itch in my wellies!
85
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:30,060
Just call it
a ferret fancier's fancy!
86
00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:36,500
I call it nonsense. She won't come.
She doesn't work here on a Wednesday.
87
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:39,340
She's not working. She's dressed up.
88
00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:43,300
Dressed up? On a Wednesday?
89
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:46,860
Yes. Best stockings. Not a wrinkle!
90
00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:49,380
That's funny.
91
00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:56,460
It's plain she knows nowt.
92
00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:59,000
I'm getting worried.
93
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,500
Stop behaving
as if your ferret were pregnant!
94
00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:09,780
I'm not sitting up all night
with him again.
95
00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:12,920
Not a wrinkle?
96
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,820
You heard me! Not a wrinkle!
97
00:08:15,820 --> 00:08:18,540
It's flying in the face of nature.
98
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:25,900
PHONE RINGS
99
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:31,460
Pegden residence.
Lady of the house speaking.
100
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,540
What?
101
00:08:34,540 --> 00:08:38,980
On a Wednesday?
And no wrinkles?
102
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:42,480
Is she going to the doctor's?
103
00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,040
No, nothing's on at the church.
104
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,780
I would have been invited.
105
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,360
No, as you say, she's not poorly.
106
00:08:55,060 --> 00:08:58,060
It's not a wedding or a funeral?
107
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,920
It must be a very important crisis.
108
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:10,380
Take away sickness and death,
and all you have left is something in trousers, isn't it?
109
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:12,880
Can I just...? No, you can't!
110
00:09:17,460 --> 00:09:22,320
PHONE RINGS
111
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,340
Hello.
112
00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:26,920
If that's your bit of fluff,
113
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:33,420
tell her how romantic you were
groaning with heartburn in flannelette pyjamas
114
00:09:33,420 --> 00:09:37,420
with your hair sticking up
like exploding knitting.
115
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,900
It's for you, love.
116
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:45,380
Hello.
117
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,920
On a Wednesday? Never!
118
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:51,980
Without a wrinkle?
119
00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:54,580
What are you nebbing at?
120
00:09:54,580 --> 00:09:57,120
Go and tend to one of your ailments.
121
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:02,020
Go and dab something on a spot
or something, lover-boy.
122
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:07,280
Just because your path happens
to cross with someone out cycling...
123
00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:11,560
So...
124
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,040
Come along, that boy.
125
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,520
You can't just sit there.
126
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,580
I'm sitting here till she gets home.
127
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:22,200
I demand an explanation.
128
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:27,260
I've a right to know why
she's dressed up on a Wednesday!
129
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,840
It fills me with admiration
130
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:36,820
that anyone
with trousers in his condition can still sit on cold surfaces.
131
00:10:36,820 --> 00:10:41,560
He's completely mad.
You have to admit he's brave.
132
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:46,940
There's probably a perfectly
simple reason why she's dressed up.
133
00:10:46,940 --> 00:10:50,000
What do you think, Clegg?
134
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,020
I think you're right.
She must have a fella!
135
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:57,060
AARGH! I'll kill him!
136
00:10:57,060 --> 00:10:59,520
Now look what you've done.
137
00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:13,240
Come and have a drink!
138
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:17,240
I don't want a drink.
I'm hearing things!
139
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,820
It's a mistake. Ask him again.
140
00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:26,980
How could you expect
a bloke to drink when he's all knotted up inside?
141
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:29,600
You're all knotted up OUTSIDE!
142
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:36,180
I can't.
I can't drink in this condition.
143
00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:41,180
Suppose we forget about beer
and buy you a whisky?
144
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,880
Maybe I CAN drink in this condition.
145
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,800
SHOP!
146
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,880
Ey up...
147
00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:11,260
I'll KILL him!
148
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:18,900
I'll kill him!
149
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:23,920
Control yourself. I'm sure
there's a simple explanation.
150
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,000
Think of one! Think of what?
151
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:31,620
An explanation why
she's in there with a man.
152
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,660
She's in love. I'll KILL him!
153
00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:37,100
That's not the one!
154
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,200
Hot, sweet tea.
155
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:50,260
I've revived many a cold, wet,
shivering schoolboy with hot, sweet tea.
156
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:52,760
It's the finest thing for shock.
157
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,360
I've had all the shock I need.
158
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:59,360
Not for GIVING shock,
for CURING it.
159
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,700
Nowt can cure this one.
160
00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:04,240
Don't be so damned dramatic.
161
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:09,660
It's probably her insurance man
or...um...or...um...
162
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:12,720
Her fancy man. AARGH!
163
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,940
Will you keep quiet!
164
00:13:14,940 --> 00:13:18,000
Only kidding! He's not in the mood.
165
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,020
It wasn't her insurance man.
166
00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:24,280
She was smiling at him all the time.
167
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,660
Not smiling, exactly.
168
00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:30,320
She never smiles exactly.
It's hit and miss.
169
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,860
Eurgh!
170
00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:35,840
Oh, dear!
171
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:47,200
Fancy her going astray
after all these years.
172
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,740
Leaving me. At my age!
173
00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:53,200
And I can't even join
the Foreign Legion!
174
00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:56,840
I could give you a reference.
175
00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:01,280
You could join Help the Aged.
176
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,840
That's NOT funny.
177
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:08,900
It's hilarious. Life keeps on
surprising and delighting me.
178
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:16,760
You think you've seen most things,
then you find a bloke prepared to have lunch with Nora Batty!
179
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,500
Perhaps he doesn't see too well!
180
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:22,020
Why do you think it is?
181
00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:26,940
Why isn't it ME sitting in that bar,
next to her?
182
00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:31,440
The reason is
because YOU look disgusting.
183
00:14:34,780 --> 00:14:37,300
You're unshaven and tatty.
184
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:42,320
You look like you should have been
burned on November 5th.
185
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,760
You're a mess!
186
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,260
Ah. I mean, apart from that.
187
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,980
Why's she avoiding me, Norm?
188
00:14:50,980 --> 00:14:53,360
You're just lucky, I guess.
189
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,320
There's nothing else for it.
190
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,860
I've got to change my image.
191
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,920
Now we're getting somewhere.
192
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,420
That's positive thinking.
193
00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:26,080
Oh! Pick your feet up!
194
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,960
Right! One, two, three.
195
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,660
One, two, three-allairy
196
00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:46,480
My ball's down the airy
197
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,620
Don't forget to give it to Mary
198
00:15:49,620 --> 00:15:53,000
Then you'll get a sweetie.
199
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:56,660
Whoops!
200
00:16:09,820 --> 00:16:12,340
What's up with him?
201
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,320
Love.
202
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:24,340
It'll take forever for me
to get back into perfect condition.
203
00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:29,300
It'll take forever for you
to get back into POOR condition!
204
00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:34,620
You're overlooking quality training.
205
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:39,920
I once trained 11 schoolboys
to win the McMurdoch shield.
206
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,940
The McMurdoch Shield?
What was that for?
207
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:46,440
Scottish dancing, actually.
208
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,380
But the principle's the same.
209
00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:54,180
Scottish dancing?
I'm not frolicking about in a kilt.
210
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:58,520
The principle's the same.
I haven't got time.
211
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,040
When I'm fit, she'll be married!
212
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,900
I must think of something quickly.
213
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:08,680
I have to find something
to make an immediate impression.
214
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:15,240
Something to make her
look at me twice.
215
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,640
BOTH: Twice?!
216
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:28,020
Just walk to Wesley's car,
and he'll drive you to Nora's.
217
00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:30,540
No-one will see you.
218
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:33,260
SHE will. That's the whole idea.
219
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:40,280
This time, instead of old scruffy,
there will be an interesting, sportsman-like figure.
220
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,600
Are you sure no-one's there?
No-one.
221
00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:55,840
Off you go!
222
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,320
We'll catch you up.
223
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,880
Remember how your Uncle Edgar went?
224
00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:22,400
That's just how
your Uncle Edgar went.
225
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,280
Not in a swimming costume.
226
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:32,240
It was a lady's squirrel coat
worn with a box-pleated skirt and matching accessories.
227
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:43,500
Now, you keep out of sight
until we give you the signal that Nora is here.
228
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:51,020
Then you come round the corner
whistling and swinging your towel as if you've been involved in sport.
229
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,840
How will you get her to come out?
230
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:58,300
No problem. We walk up her steps
and ring her bell!
231
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:01,780
Hey! Where are you going?
232
00:19:01,780 --> 00:19:06,820
You have to help me keep Nora busy
until he appears.
233
00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:09,340
I have to get back under my engine.
234
00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:14,340
I have a desperate urge to watch
someone underneath an engine.
235
00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:16,900
What's the matter with you two?
236
00:19:16,900 --> 00:19:22,460
It's only Nora Batty.
She's only human.
237
00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:25,540
Rubbish! She's legendary.
238
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:31,780
If she were in a chariot,
all you would see would be fleeing Romans.
239
00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:34,320
Will you get a grip on yourselves!
240
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:39,340
I can't bear to see grown men
like this. You'll ring her bell?
241
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:44,700
Of course I'll ring it.
It's only a bell!
242
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:49,940
Will you get a move on?
It gets a bit nippy in this outfit.
243
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:52,380
You've got the easy part!
244
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:55,340
The easy part gets the nippiest.
245
00:19:55,340 --> 00:20:01,040
You stay there, quietly,
until I give you the signal.
246
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:05,060
What signal?
I shall cough loudly.
247
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:08,660
I come round the corner, whistling.
248
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:11,620
Right! And we all look surprised.
249
00:20:11,620 --> 00:20:14,640
Who wouldn't be, at that thing?!
250
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,760
Now, stop it! He needs support.
251
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,720
Particularly where it sags most!
252
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,220
Right!
253
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:27,200
Follow me.
254
00:20:29,820 --> 00:20:32,320
What are you going to tell her?
255
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:37,280
Stop worrying. A headmaster
is never lost for words.
256
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,400
What do you want?
257
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,900
Cat got your tongue?
258
00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:50,340
Er, well, er... I, er...
As a matter of fact, I thought...
259
00:20:50,340 --> 00:20:52,900
You tell her, Clegg.
260
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:55,420
Never lost for words(!)
261
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:56,960
Well...
262
00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,000
HE COUGHS LOUDLY
263
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,920
Whatever's the matter with him?
264
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,440
Is his thorax full of fluff?
265
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,960
He's got a headful!
266
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,260
Is it catching?
267
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:22,000
Tra-la!
268
00:21:26,340 --> 00:21:28,840
How do, lads? ..Morning, Nora.
269
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:38,300
What's he doing
in that terrible underwear?
270
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:41,280
Get indoors! You look unseemly!
271
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:46,300
He wants locking up.
272
00:21:47,780 --> 00:21:50,320
You ALL want locking up.
273
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:55,860
Get off my steps, the lot of you!
Coughing on a person's steps!
274
00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:58,380
Have you noticed how she's changed?
275
00:21:58,380 --> 00:22:02,460
She was never unpleasant
until she met this fella.
276
00:22:02,460 --> 00:22:06,520
She was always unpleasant.
Are you just saying that?
277
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,080
She was always unpleasant!
278
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,620
Is that true, Norm? Cross my heart.
279
00:22:11,620 --> 00:22:14,240
A real nag. Frightening. Fair enough.
280
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,240
Don't just say it to cheer me up.
281
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:20,900
Don't sit there!
282
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:28,440
Be reasonable, man. You can't
keep the most comfortable chair when you've got guests.
283
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,880
Oh!
284
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,700
Put his bum on there.
285
00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:40,480
Yes, that's better.
286
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,480
I'll stand, I'll stand.
287
00:22:51,780 --> 00:22:54,840
You know what it is, don't you?
288
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:59,800
She's never yet seen you
in some sporting activity.
289
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:06,360
We need to let her see you
doing something sporty.
290
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,360
Like what?
291
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,740
It doesn't LOOK like a sailboard.
292
00:23:16,740 --> 00:23:19,300
For short notice, it does.
293
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:21,820
Of course it does.
294
00:23:21,820 --> 00:23:24,380
What do you think, Norm?
295
00:23:24,380 --> 00:23:29,380
Well, maybe from a distance
it looks like a sailboard...
296
00:23:29,380 --> 00:23:32,380
That DOESN'T look like a sailboard.
297
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,380
Ah, Barry! Just the man.
298
00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:42,120
Could you listen
to my wheel bearing?
299
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,180
Barry.
300
00:23:44,180 --> 00:23:49,520
You're an independent witness
with keen powers of observation.
301
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,540
You can tell us
what this looks like.
302
00:23:53,540 --> 00:23:56,040
An ironing board.
303
00:23:57,820 --> 00:24:04,240
Barry, I wonder whether
you've got the hang of being a son-in-law.
304
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:13,280
The more you look at it,
the less it looks like an ironing board.
305
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:18,320
The more you look at it,
the less it looks like a sailboard.
306
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:22,900
You do a rush job,
and your work is insulted.
307
00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:25,420
It DOES look like an ironing board.
308
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:28,980
Barry isn't familiar
with sailboards.
309
00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:31,500
Have you done any sailboarding?
310
00:24:31,500 --> 00:24:34,040
Well, none. We usually go
to my aunty's.
311
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,600
There you are, you see.
312
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:41,560
To anyone else, it will look
instantly like a sailboard.
313
00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:45,200
Wesley Pegden?
314
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,160
Where are you going
with my ironing board?
315
00:25:00,220 --> 00:25:05,240
We'll get the sail on.
It will look fine with a sail on.
316
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:10,320
Just like a graceful old
single-masted ironing board.
317
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:16,920
You can forget it. Shut the shop
and pull the blind. I won't do it. It's... You...
318
00:25:23,500 --> 00:25:28,160
Do you think it will look all right
with a sail on it?
319
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,000
Ready?
320
00:25:49,260 --> 00:25:51,260
Oops! Come back!
321
00:25:52,580 --> 00:25:55,140
Now, nothing clever for starters.
322
00:25:55,140 --> 00:25:59,320
Just step on board
and get the feel of it.
323
00:26:00,380 --> 00:26:02,400
Come on!
324
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,960
There we are. Oops!
325
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,440
Steady as a rock.
326
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,760
Now, let down the main.
327
00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:23,880
Let down the sail!
328
00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:28,580
Right!
329
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,220
Launch it!
330
00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:36,700
Push it out!
331
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:50,080
We'll have to go in deeper water.
332
00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:01,820
You've got the feel of it, Seymour!
333
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:06,000
Well, always lead from the front.
334
00:27:15,140 --> 00:27:18,180
This will work. ..Are you ready?
335
00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:20,220
I'm ready.
336
00:27:20,220 --> 00:27:22,740
All right. Stand by!
337
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,220
Go!
338
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:36,540
Stop, Wesley!
339
00:27:36,540 --> 00:27:38,780
HELP!
340
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:49,880
Excuse me asking, but why is he
doing this? He thinks Nora Batty has found a gentleman.
341
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,560
They were in the pub together.
342
00:27:53,860 --> 00:27:58,800
That's Uncle Eric. He wants people
to sell Christmas hampers for him.
343
00:28:03,460 --> 00:28:05,500
All right!
344
00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:08,020
You needn't bother.
345
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,400
Mayday! Mayday!
346
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,280
Determined little beggar!
347
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,420
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00:28:56,470 --> 00:29:01,020
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