Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:41,383 --> 00:00:44,742
Tuck your shirt in -
it's hanging out.
2
00:00:44,743 --> 00:00:48,422
Be grateful it's nothing worse!
3
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:51,462
Shut up, tha should!
4
00:00:51,463 --> 00:00:54,662
Maybe Hitler's shirt hung out.
5
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:59,282
The Nazi salute was a natural
for pulling your shirt out.
6
00:00:59,283 --> 00:01:06,302
All those big rallies.
Everyone in the front chanting "Zieg heil, zieg heil"
7
00:01:06,303 --> 00:01:11,662
and those at the back thinking,
"My God, his shirt's hanging out!"
8
00:01:11,663 --> 00:01:18,242
God! Look at the state of him.
He's the best advert for euthanasia I've ever seen!
9
00:01:18,243 --> 00:01:22,262
Toothpaste! I'm an advert
for toothpaste!
10
00:01:22,263 --> 00:01:25,282
Euthanasia is NOT a toothpaste.
11
00:01:25,283 --> 00:01:28,302
If it is, it's only used once.
12
00:01:28,303 --> 00:01:34,943
Euthanasia is a way of
getting rid of scruffy old Herberts in their twilight years.
13
00:01:36,943 --> 00:01:42,723
Was your family ALWAYS musical?
Me mam had legs like a grand piano.
14
00:01:42,823 --> 00:01:45,222
It's a terrible noise, isn't it?
15
00:01:45,223 --> 00:01:51,482
It's the extent of his vocabulary -
if he's not making vile noises he's making 'V' signs.
16
00:01:51,483 --> 00:01:57,242
Sometimes he does both.
Only when I'm upset, Norm.
17
00:01:57,243 --> 00:02:03,363
Upset? You've got skin as thick as
a rhinoceros. What could upset YOU?
18
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,582
If Nora Batty went into a nunnery!
19
00:02:07,583 --> 00:02:10,722
And gave up her interest in men.
20
00:02:10,723 --> 00:02:13,302
THAT would really upset me.
21
00:02:13,303 --> 00:02:21,302
If only I could be sure there were
a God who listened to little blokes with holes in their trousers,
22
00:02:21,303 --> 00:02:26,022
I'd say to him,
"Listen, God, do me a favour...
23
00:02:26,023 --> 00:02:31,702
"and make sure Nora Batty
doesn't lose her interest in men."
24
00:02:31,703 --> 00:02:34,583
That's what I'd say to him!
25
00:02:51,043 --> 00:02:53,403
WHAT interest in men?
26
00:02:54,423 --> 00:03:00,063
Don't bother to answer...
I'll just talk to myself.
27
00:03:06,363 --> 00:03:12,122
My question was - since when has
Nora Batty had an interest in men?
28
00:03:12,123 --> 00:03:16,623
She likes to shout at them.
That's true, Norm.
29
00:03:16,743 --> 00:03:21,762
She's good at shouting. She could
have got her cap for Yorkshire.
30
00:03:21,763 --> 00:03:24,063
Cap?! Headscarf and curlers.
31
00:03:25,083 --> 00:03:28,302
Listen, let's get it straight.
32
00:03:28,303 --> 00:03:34,343
Beneath that headscarf is the most
attractive female body around here.
33
00:03:36,603 --> 00:03:38,942
In MY opinion.
34
00:03:38,943 --> 00:03:43,702
And we know what THAT'S worth.
And not only my opinion.
35
00:03:43,703 --> 00:03:45,602
Go on, then.
36
00:03:45,603 --> 00:03:47,622
Who else's?
37
00:03:47,623 --> 00:03:50,642
Even her husband doesn't think that.
38
00:03:50,643 --> 00:03:54,122
ESPECIALLY her husband
doesn't think that!
39
00:03:54,123 --> 00:03:57,082
He's a pigeon-fancier. He's biased.
40
00:03:57,083 --> 00:04:02,462
She'd have to have feathers on her
chest before HE took any notice.
41
00:04:02,463 --> 00:04:08,442
Notoriously unreliable in the ways
of woman flesh are pigeon fanciers.
42
00:04:08,443 --> 00:04:15,942
How can you trust the judgement
of anybody who fancies anything with skinny legs and big feet?
43
00:04:15,943 --> 00:04:19,323
But WRINKLED legs and big feet
are all right?
44
00:04:20,563 --> 00:04:23,342
She's not got big feet.
45
00:04:23,343 --> 00:04:26,223
She's got average feet.
46
00:04:27,623 --> 00:04:31,103
Now you've hurt his rotten feelings.
47
00:04:33,763 --> 00:04:37,103
She's NOT got big feet!
48
00:04:38,823 --> 00:04:42,183
What we need is an expert witness.
49
00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:54,463
Sit down!
50
00:04:55,963 --> 00:05:00,922
What's all this? We just want you
to settle an argument, Wally.
51
00:05:00,923 --> 00:05:05,062
Relax... accept a little
hospitality.
52
00:05:05,063 --> 00:05:08,082
Sup up, Wal. There's a catch.
53
00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:10,562
What's the catch?
54
00:05:10,563 --> 00:05:16,422
Typical! You try to be nice
to people... That's not natural!
55
00:05:16,423 --> 00:05:19,762
Get your mouth round that pint.
56
00:05:19,763 --> 00:05:23,222
Don't rush him.
It's just Northern caution.
57
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:28,022
There's a hint of pessimism
in Wally's make-up.
58
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:32,402
Something dark
and Slavonic in his genes.
59
00:05:32,403 --> 00:05:35,342
He doesn't WEAR jeans!
60
00:05:35,343 --> 00:05:39,642
Temperamentally
Wally could be Russian.
61
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:43,622
I always imagine
Dostoevsky was like him.
62
00:05:43,623 --> 00:05:47,542
Except for his
lack of interest in pigeons.
63
00:05:47,543 --> 00:05:50,182
Things look different in daylight.
64
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:54,642
Don't say that. The fact that
things look different in daylight,
65
00:05:54,643 --> 00:05:59,463
is very depressing for politicians
and others of the same ilk.
66
00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:03,222
What's an ilk?
67
00:06:03,223 --> 00:06:07,702
Are you trying to tell me
that you don't know what an ilk is?
68
00:06:07,703 --> 00:06:11,663
Hands up everybody
who cannot describe an ilk.
69
00:06:24,863 --> 00:06:27,802
Just sup it up, Wally.
70
00:06:27,803 --> 00:06:30,822
I've been caught like this before.
71
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:35,842
People inserting foreign substances
into men's pints!
72
00:06:35,843 --> 00:06:42,422
For what purpose?
Who's going to cart YOU off to a house of ill-repute?
73
00:06:42,423 --> 00:06:47,282
You have my word as a gentleman,
that brew has not been touched.
74
00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:50,882
They once nobbled me drink
at the pigeon club.
75
00:06:50,883 --> 00:06:53,742
Here, have this one.
76
00:06:53,743 --> 00:06:59,482
I don't know what it was, but I
didn't keep anything down for a week.
77
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:01,683
The same with the price of petrol!
78
00:07:03,463 --> 00:07:06,302
Upset me system entirely.
79
00:07:06,303 --> 00:07:09,022
Drink it! Don't just look at it.
80
00:07:09,023 --> 00:07:11,922
I met this bloke who'd had similar,
81
00:07:11,923 --> 00:07:16,023
and he said we were lucky
it never made us sterile.
82
00:07:17,763 --> 00:07:20,342
Get that down your gullet!
83
00:07:20,343 --> 00:07:24,322
Well... if you're SURE
there's nothing wrong with it.
84
00:07:24,323 --> 00:07:26,882
There's nothing wrong - look!
85
00:07:26,883 --> 00:07:28,743
Look! Look!
86
00:07:30,003 --> 00:07:32,602
There! Ah, well...
87
00:07:32,603 --> 00:07:35,322
As long as you're sure.
88
00:07:35,323 --> 00:07:38,843
I'm the wrong age for going sterile.
89
00:07:39,903 --> 00:07:44,922
Hey, you! Are you just
watching the sunlight through the stuff?
90
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,662
Think it's a jar of tadpoles?
91
00:07:47,663 --> 00:07:51,602
He's not with us.
No. He's a Russian we found.
92
00:07:51,603 --> 00:07:57,743
He doesn't get loose very often.
His marriage is so time-consuming.
93
00:07:59,523 --> 00:08:02,163
Keep him under control.
94
00:08:03,343 --> 00:08:10,303
It's no great advert for my beer
to see him staring at it like it was gnat's water! True!
95
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,003
Aagh!
96
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,819
Keep him sitting.
Don't let him stand up.
97
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:40,279
It's all right for thee.
Look at him!
98
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:44,319
Sometimes you can't tell
if he IS standing up.
99
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,559
He wobbles more when standing.
100
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,759
Keep him sitting down.
101
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:54,879
Get a firm grip where his parrot
would be if he wasn't into pigeons.
102
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,820
Hey, down!
103
00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:04,639
I don't believe it! I'm being held
in this boozer against my will.
104
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:10,000
Which amounts to a big improvement
in my normal standard of living!
105
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:15,079
How did Nora Batty come to marry
anybody that small?
106
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,660
Exactly MY feelings!
107
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,020
It shows no sense of fair play.
108
00:09:24,220 --> 00:09:29,659
Maybe there was a Depression.
Maybe he looked taller. All right!
109
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:32,219
Let's call this meeting to order.
110
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:37,819
Now, Wally, we need your expertise
to settle a point of argument.
111
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:42,479
You may think that we're being
just a little personal...
112
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,859
Nah! He's broad-minded.
113
00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:49,599
I am. If there's one thing I am,
it's broad-minded.
114
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,920
And notoriously cheerful(!)
115
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:57,659
We want some inside information
about something
116
00:09:57,660 --> 00:10:01,919
that you've been very close to...
for a LONG time.
117
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,780
And he means CLOSE!
118
00:10:06,580 --> 00:10:10,280
Wally, about as close
as you can get!
119
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,740
Ya lucky beggar!
120
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,520
Now I'm with you!
121
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:33,140
We shall, of course,
treat any information you give us in the STRICTEST confidence.
122
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,779
Not a whisper!
123
00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:41,759
Ugh, you ain't got
much of a grip there, Wal.
124
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:47,439
As much as I need for anything
that's available to a person my age!
125
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,119
Good grief!
126
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,339
Is it really as slack as that? Yes.
127
00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:57,479
Ugh! God, it is!
Like half a pound of liver.
128
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,819
Look, never mind his grip.
129
00:10:59,820 --> 00:11:02,559
Never mind his grip?!
130
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:06,379
How can he protect Nora
with a grip like that?
131
00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:11,840
What if some frustrated, lonely
bloke leapt out on our Nora?
132
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:16,359
Goodness! How frustrated
and lonely can you get?
133
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,379
The mind boggles, doesn't it?
134
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:24,599
Who's going to leap out on her?
She's terrible!
135
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,519
Oh... begging your pardon, Wally.
136
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,779
Point taken.
137
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:35,599
Listen, blokes leap out on women
all the time. Me, for a start.
138
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:40,379
Let's face it, I'm in no condition
to go punching people about.
139
00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:44,499
You're in no condition
to scream for help!
140
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,879
It's true.
141
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:53,559
If she were attacked
right in front of my eyes, I'd have to stand there helpless.
142
00:11:53,560 --> 00:12:00,460
Helpless! She could have the bloke
mauled to death before I could drag her off!
143
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:14,879
I've decided against answering
your personal questions.
144
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,399
I respect that decision.
145
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,879
A bloke has to keep
SOME things to himself.
146
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,739
One expects that from a gentleman.
147
00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:28,599
If you wanted details of anything
but HER, I wouldn't hesitate.
148
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,899
But when you're that close...
149
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:35,279
We understand. It was probably
tactless to raise the idea.
150
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,519
No... no... no... no.
151
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,979
I understand your interest.
152
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:46,259
I sometimes see blokes watching her
when they think I'm not looking.
153
00:12:46,260 --> 00:12:52,219
I can feel them thinking, "I wish
she were mine, I wish she were mine."
154
00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:55,019
I know the feeling, Wal!
155
00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:57,739
But they've had it. She's MINE.
156
00:12:57,740 --> 00:13:00,119
I've raised her from an egg.
157
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,879
I've flown her. Trained her.
158
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,799
She's going to win races for me!
159
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,280
She's MY pigeon!
160
00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:43,019
Sit your little unkempt person down.
The woman is looking at you.
161
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:45,160
They always do!
162
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,560
Will you get off!
163
00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:58,000
How long have you known you were
irresistible to women? Oh, ages.
164
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:02,000
You must have trouble
with jealous husbands.
165
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:06,359
There's a snag to everything.
Nothing is free!
166
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,019
Certainly not in here it's not!
167
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:12,079
Sit down!
Make yourself inconspicuous.
168
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:16,879
If I found anything like you,
I'd throw it in the bin.
169
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:20,359
They always talk like that.
170
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,839
But deep down, really deep down,
they're all of a flutter.
171
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,199
Like your shirt flap.
172
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,819
Drink your tea, and don't sound
as if you're emptying a pond.
173
00:14:31,820 --> 00:14:34,119
Oh, there's something about you!
174
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,080
Give us a kiss!
175
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:43,080
I hate it when he does that.
I can face anything but that.
176
00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:45,840
Italians do it all the time.
177
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,660
Men kissing at railway stations.
178
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,740
Well, I usually just buy a paper.
179
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:01,099
I saw some during the war.
180
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:06,199
Blokes kissing each other goodbye
at the railway station.
181
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:10,080
You see some TERRIBLE things
during a war.
182
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:16,879
Talking of terrible things, Wally,
we'd like to have a few words with you about Nora.
183
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,359
About my missus?
184
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,399
That's the one.
185
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,819
My next-door neighbour...
bless her!
186
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:30,080
That's all right for you -
there's usually a wall between you.
187
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:36,499
Do you think we ought to pry
into things like this?
188
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,919
Call me superstitious...
Hello, superstitious!
189
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,039
Hello.
190
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:46,739
But this morning,
I heard an owl hoot... three times!
191
00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:51,379
Unless it was him across,
with his Toyota.
192
00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:56,320
My God! What does that mean?
A Toyota hooting three times!
193
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,760
Yes, well, er...
194
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:15,039
We just wanted a bit of simple
information to settle an argument.
195
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,639
Well, you've only got to ask.
196
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:22,259
Yes, well... somehow it seemed
harder than that, you know.
197
00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:25,579
We don't want to be personal.
198
00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:29,299
Well... we're all men of the world!
199
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:33,239
I couldn't handle
being a man of the world.
200
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:37,299
Could I just stick
to the area of my post code?
201
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,859
Shut up. Ah! I can handle that.
202
00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:45,279
I love when he says "shut up".
I feel so secure. Shut up!
203
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:48,719
Now, Wally... you see...
204
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,760
the information we require is...
205
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,060
Walls have ears.
206
00:16:58,140 --> 00:17:00,759
And a nice bosom as well!
207
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,400
What? Get... get out...
208
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,400
Get out! I'll teach you respect!
209
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,959
Norman, I'm being kidnapped!
210
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,400
Send us a postcard.
211
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,320
By heck, that clears the catarrh!
212
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,759
Serves you right!
213
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,239
I like a grapple.
You know what they say...
214
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,479
♪ A grapple a day
keeps the doctor away... ♪
215
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:37,680
And I'll have NO further remarks
about my bosom.
216
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:43,400
How would you men like it
if we talked about YOUR bosoms?
217
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,940
I'd hate to be desirable.
218
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:54,599
I'm surprised at YOU -
you a married a man.
219
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,480
I was surprised being married.
220
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:03,680
Have you ever tried to say "no"
to our Nora?
221
00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:08,559
Keep him under control.
He's a menace around women.
222
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,800
Can I have that in writing?
223
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:15,360
That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me!
224
00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:22,039
Now, Wally, you're among friends.
Discretion is assured.
225
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,139
You have my word as a depositor
with a building society.
226
00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:31,519
Now, look, tell us - quickly -
has Nora got big feet?
227
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,619
Big feet?!
228
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:36,759
Yes, the things
on the ends of your legs.
229
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,059
I know where they ARE.
230
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:43,579
It's interfering with nature -
prying about Nora Batty.
231
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:48,939
They're talking about our Nora!
Tell him she's not got big feet!
232
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:53,139
Why does she wear BIG shoes?
She does NOT!
233
00:18:53,140 --> 00:18:57,639
Listen to it! Voice of the expert.
The world authority on footwear.
234
00:18:57,640 --> 00:18:59,680
They call me "Twinkletoes".
235
00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:04,759
Hey! What's going on in here?
Get out!
236
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,479
Get out! Go on!
237
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:13,000
Why don't you come on Sundays?
We're CLOSED on Sundays!
238
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,700
Get out! Go on!
239
00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:36,799
That's what I call a picture!
240
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,919
She looks great
with a peg in her teeth!
241
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,219
We're not looking at her TEETH.
242
00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:47,539
I'm definitely not!
Look at her FEET.
243
00:19:47,540 --> 00:19:51,680
I'm telling thee.
She's NOT got big FEET.
244
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,959
Don't ask ME.
I don't look at her feet.
245
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,679
You MUST have noticed, Wally.
246
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:07,420
I can't think how long it is
since I noticed her feet.
247
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,759
It comes as no surprise to me.
248
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:17,419
There's a lot of other things
you've got to get the hang of, besides feet.
249
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:19,839
I'll say there is!
250
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:24,960
He must have NOTICED them.
She must have trodden on him.
251
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:30,319
Try and remember her FEET, Wally.
252
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,959
Our Nora's dinky little feet.
253
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,219
No prompting!
254
00:20:36,220 --> 00:20:40,559
You know how it is.
You get things on your mind.
255
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:47,519
Think, man!
It's those bits at right angles to the wrinkled stockings.
256
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,700
What wrinkled stockings?
257
00:20:52,140 --> 00:20:55,099
Listen, Wally, tha can tell me.
258
00:20:55,100 --> 00:21:00,219
After all, I'd exercise her
for you if you were going away.
259
00:21:00,220 --> 00:21:03,080
Listen, Wally, her feet...
260
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,319
How BIG do they feel in bed?
261
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,099
You can't expect a bloke
to remember everything.
262
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:15,879
He sleeps with Nora Batty
and he doesn't even notice.
263
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,159
I bet that takes practice.
264
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,320
It takes YEARS. They've no idea.
265
00:21:24,060 --> 00:21:28,619
Look, Wally, let's approach this
from another angle.
266
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:32,059
Now, cast your mind back.
267
00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:36,879
I want you to visualise
a cold, crisp winter's night.
268
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:41,259
Frost on the windowpane,
icicles on the drainpipe...
269
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:45,259
You're indoors,
you're snug and warm.
270
00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:50,199
Now you're ready for bed, and Nora's
standing there in her dressing gown.
271
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,820
Ooh! I can't stand it!
272
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,199
Shut up!
273
00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:02,219
Now, before you turn out the light,
she's standing in front of you...
274
00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:06,640
..in her dressing gown
and her nightdress and curlers...
275
00:22:11,140 --> 00:22:13,299
Can you see her, Wally?
276
00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:17,879
Which nightie?
It doesn't matter which nightie.
277
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,980
It does to ME!
278
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,939
Shut up!
279
00:22:22,940 --> 00:22:25,399
Can you see her, Wally?
280
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,699
Yes. Oh, good man.
281
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:31,340
Have a good look. I'm looking.
282
00:22:31,420 --> 00:22:33,660
Oooh! So am I.
283
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:39,579
Are you ready for the question?
Yes, I'm ready.
284
00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:41,599
Right, here it comes.
285
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,660
Do her slippers look BIG?
286
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,660
Pass!
287
00:22:52,820 --> 00:22:55,519
I bet tha notices tha pigeons.
288
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,460
Well... PIGEONS...
289
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,399
That's it.
290
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,220
Like I said,
her feet CAN'T be big.
291
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:08,719
Don't be hasty, ferret fancier.
We can't be SURE of that.
292
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:14,779
We can! If she had big feet
he would have noticed them.
293
00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:17,459
But he SHOULD have noticed them.
294
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:22,400
Look at the height of him -
he's not miles away from them!
295
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,319
What's her shoe size?
296
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,299
Maybe they've
never been intimate enough
297
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:32,199
to know each other's shoe size.
298
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:36,119
Look - stand in line. What?
299
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:38,139
Come on!
300
00:23:38,140 --> 00:23:44,660
Watch it! You'll crease
my jacket. Sorry! Imagine YOU with a creased jacket(!)
301
00:23:45,660 --> 00:23:48,359
Now, Wally, in your opinion,
302
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:52,540
which pair is closest
in size to your wife's?
303
00:23:54,140 --> 00:23:56,719
It's not a fair test.
304
00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,979
Why not?
You're all wearing trousers.
305
00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:06,060
One thing I HAVE noticed -
our Nora NEVER wears trousers.
306
00:24:08,140 --> 00:24:10,680
We've gone this far. Roll them up.
307
00:24:13,140 --> 00:24:16,259
All right, round the next corner.
308
00:24:16,260 --> 00:24:18,700
Nobody will see us there.
309
00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:46,999
Here! What are you doing
with that daft lot?
310
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:47,960
Nothing!
311
00:24:47,961 --> 00:24:50,939
Look at me
when I'm shouting at you!
312
00:24:50,940 --> 00:24:52,199
I'm looking.
313
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,219
You're looking at me feet.
314
00:24:54,220 --> 00:24:57,199
Can't a bloke look
at his wife's feet?
315
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:01,119
You're weird! Get inside!
They're all weird!
316
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:03,460
And wash your hands for tea!
317
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,219
Don't keep looking at me!
318
00:25:59,220 --> 00:26:01,839
What do you keep
looking at me for?
319
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,459
I'm your husband.
I'm entitled to look!
320
00:26:05,460 --> 00:26:08,279
Well, you can pack it in.
321
00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,659
Just for looking?
322
00:26:09,660 --> 00:26:10,959
Yes.
323
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:18,540
We've spent 40 years NOT looking -
so don't you start NOW.
324
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,439
Where's the harm in looking?
325
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,819
It's very unsettling.
326
00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:32,479
It's like having a piece
of furniture coming alive.
327
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,339
Furniture - is that what I am?
328
00:26:35,340 --> 00:26:39,320
I wouldn't mind - if you weren't
so badly put together!
329
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,360
What is the matter with YOU?
330
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,219
I... I... was only wondering.
331
00:26:46,220 --> 00:26:48,179
Wondering what?
332
00:26:48,180 --> 00:26:50,300
How big are your feet?
333
00:26:52,180 --> 00:26:55,320
Have you been reading
funny books?
334
00:26:57,340 --> 00:27:02,719
No... I've not.
I... I was only wondering.
335
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:07,380
Married 40 years and he starts
wondering about my feet!
336
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,239
Get out to your pigeons!
337
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,299
What about my tea?
338
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:21,139
Later! Go on -
go and look at your pigeons.
339
00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:25,959
What sort of age are you
to start looking at ladies' feet?
340
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:29,140
And don't be reading funny books!
341
00:28:28,060 --> 00:28:31,340
A bit more, a bit more.
342
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,360
That's it! Now, mark it.
343
00:28:40,820 --> 00:28:43,280
Now, measure it.
344
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,740
Right!
345
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,760
Serves you right, you daft lot!
346
00:29:24,810 --> 00:29:29,360
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
27367
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof