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1
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,760
'Ang on a minute!
2
00:00:40,060 --> 00:00:42,680
I got summat sharp in me welly.
3
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,000
Have to be sharp to survive that.
4
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,520
Wow!
5
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,000
It's sharp all right, is that.
6
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,120
By God! You could frighten peacocks
with a sock like that.
7
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,200
They was reduced.
I'm glad about that.
8
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:03,200
I'd hate to see 'em on full power!
What'll you do when the battery's gone?
9
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:06,120
They're not electric.
10
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,360
They are from here.
11
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,660
How can he do that without
an anaesthetic?
12
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,860
I washed my feet! I wash 'em
every time I put new socks on.
13
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,160
Every time?
14
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,760
Well...nearly every time.
15
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,520
Hey! Look at that!
16
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,200
No, I don't think we'll bother.
17
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,400
That's a flint for a lighter.
18
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,080
It's very mysterious, is that.
19
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:43,920
You're right y'know.
I was just thinking, that's the most mysterious...
20
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,920
..handkerchief I've ever seen.
Me other one's in the wash.
21
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:49,920
The wash?
22
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:55,760
I mean it's mysterious,
'cos I 'aven't got a lighter. So, what's a flint doin' in me welly?
23
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,760
You better look in the other welly.
You might find the lighter.
24
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,760
That's better.
25
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:12,640
Did you notice how dark it went,
when he put that sock back in?
26
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:19,040
Quite a rare astronomical event,
total eclipse of the sock.
27
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:30,920
You think it's goin' t'be another
ordinary day, and then suddenly y'find a flint in yer welly!
28
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:34,840
Good job there wasn't a spark,
could've blown your foot off.
29
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:41,480
If there's no guiding hand
behind the Universe...
30
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,520
..how come bananas are just
the right shape for your mouth?
31
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,720
Couldn't get bananas in wartime.
32
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,040
Couldn't get Lily Matthews either.
33
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,680
I know. I tried.
34
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:04,360
She was RAF mad, yer 'adn't got
a chance if yer wore khaki.
35
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,480
Not even scruffy khaki? No.
36
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:13,120
And I were really good at scruffy
khaki. Mind you, it were scruffy when yer got it.
37
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,640
You were supposed to press it.
38
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:22,640
Oh that's great! Yer gotta go out
an' die for 'em an' yer gotta press yer suit for the privilege.
39
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,760
Dying a lot round Aldershot,
were they?
40
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,760
Only for bananas.
41
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:34,720
That's not the point - I didn't
know I wasn't goin' t'die, did I?
42
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:40,480
They gave me a rifle and a
bayonet. I thought, hello, hello! This is not for pickin' yer teeth.
43
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:46,880
There I was with a gun and a
bayonet and in civvie street they 'ad me for keepin' a few ferrets!
44
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,520
Think they were going to send you
ferreting after the Germans?
45
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:56,520
That could've flushed Adolf
out of his bunker.
46
00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,720
I like it - 'The Secret War Of
Compo Simmonite'.
47
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,680
'The Day Of The Ferret'.
48
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:07,240
Eat yer banana.
It's all gone.
49
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:11,880
That's life. Suddenly it's high
summer and yer banana's all gone.
50
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:19,320
I should've joined the RAF an'
'ad a tour of ops on Lily Matthews.
51
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:27,880
She was ugly. Only from the front.
And you know him in wartime. He never went near the front.
52
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,440
I tried for a reserve occupation.
53
00:04:31,599 --> 00:04:36,200
And no one was more reserved about
54
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:44,999
Who's steerin'?
55
00:04:44,999 --> 00:04:49,800
He's steering. I thought you were.
56
00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:07,800
The last time I was in a hedge
bottom I was with a bird from Nottingham. Nature lover.
57
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:13,980
Couldn't she steer either?
We wasn't cyclin', we was courtin'.
58
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:20,800
And you brought her to this dyke
bottom. Spared no expense, did you?
59
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:26,240
In the pursuit of love, you've
been in some interesting places.
60
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,400
Oh I 'ave though, I 'ave.
61
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:34,640
I should imagine courting and
ferreting seem similar to you.
62
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,720
They do.
63
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,640
Just the quarry that's different.
64
00:05:39,780 --> 00:05:42,080
Bin in some quarries an'all.
65
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,280
You know how he tells them apart?
66
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:47,380
The rabbits are prettier!
67
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:50,880
Mildred were pretty.
68
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,520
That's a nice name for a rabbit.
69
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,380
She weren't a rabbit!
She were a welder.
70
00:05:57,980 --> 00:05:59,380
Oh, that one.
71
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,920
Oh, she were pretty.
72
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,800
Pretty loud.
73
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,720
Are we all in one piece then?
Oh fine!
74
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:22,240
I've been thinking,
we're going to have to get 3 bikes.
75
00:06:34,237 --> 00:06:36,237
I'll do the talking.
76
00:06:36,237 --> 00:06:37,917
All right.
77
00:06:41,222 --> 00:06:42,582
How do, Percy?
78
00:06:43,382 --> 00:06:46,122
Less of the Percy. It's Dirk...
79
00:06:46,122 --> 00:06:47,422
..all right?
80
00:06:48,922 --> 00:06:54,542
It's been Dirk for 15 years.
Are you with me? I paid heavy bread for it legally.
81
00:06:54,542 --> 00:06:57,522
If yer don't like it,
try Mr Westerfield.
82
00:06:57,522 --> 00:07:03,382
Tha 'asn't got a chance
Percy. We've known thee since thee were a lad.
83
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:09,822
What kind of a name is Percy, for a
man with his own business, drives a Jag, with irons in the fire?
84
00:07:09,822 --> 00:07:13,122
I'm going to be Finkle Street's
1st millionaire.
85
00:07:13,122 --> 00:07:15,582
Yer like the sound, right?
86
00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:18,342
Ah! Tha gets funnier than ever.
87
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:22,382
All right, so it's taking time.
88
00:07:22,382 --> 00:07:28,022
I'm 50. A young 50.
I'm not yer flash-in-the-pan overnight whiz kid
89
00:07:28,862 --> 00:07:30,262
That's true.
90
00:07:30,942 --> 00:07:32,782
Yes, we'll give you that, Percy.
91
00:07:33,422 --> 00:07:35,262
Dirk, it's Dirk.
92
00:07:35,382 --> 00:07:38,862
You're not anybody's flash-in-the-
pan overnight whiz kid.
93
00:07:38,862 --> 00:07:39,662
Know why?
94
00:07:40,222 --> 00:07:41,582
Incompetence?
95
00:07:42,582 --> 00:07:47,622
I'll tell you why -
because I've never had the breaks. Same with Clegg's bike!
96
00:07:48,062 --> 00:07:48,982
Y'know what...
97
00:07:48,982 --> 00:07:54,262
..the 2nd hand trade really needs?
A good war. A really good big war.
98
00:07:54,262 --> 00:07:57,742
Suddenly yer into army surplus
and yer laughin'.
99
00:07:57,742 --> 00:08:03,982
I shouldn't be pratting about with
washing machines. I should have a row of rocket launchers over there.
100
00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:07,942
A big demand for rocket launchers
around here, is there?
101
00:08:08,342 --> 00:08:10,422
Be international, wouldn't I?
102
00:08:10,422 --> 00:08:16,742
Wherever men gathered for military
hardware, there'd be this whisper, 'Have you tried Dirk's?'
103
00:08:17,342 --> 00:08:20,862
Then there'd be this other whisper,
104
00:08:22,182 --> 00:08:26,382
What are you complaining about?
We've had a perfectly good big war.
105
00:08:26,822 --> 00:08:33,662
Well, I missed it. Ah, tha were
a bit late there, Dirkus. They started before I was ready.
106
00:08:34,182 --> 00:08:37,182
I remember having the
same impression.
107
00:08:37,822 --> 00:08:42,182
Never mind, I thought, they'll have
another, and what happened? Nuthin.
108
00:08:42,182 --> 00:08:46,622
I woke up every mornin' with a keen
sense of expectation - nuthin.
109
00:08:46,622 --> 00:08:50,782
Oh, yer can grow old waitin' for
bombs to start droppin' round 'ere.
110
00:08:50,782 --> 00:08:52,782
Right lads, what can I do for yer?
111
00:08:52,902 --> 00:08:53,702
Bicycles.
112
00:08:53,702 --> 00:08:56,502
Hey! Watch yer language, Elsie!
113
00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:58,622
Are yer buyin' or sellin'?
114
00:08:58,622 --> 00:08:59,542
Buying.
115
00:08:59,542 --> 00:09:03,342
Well, in that case, you're entitled
to my number one friendly smile.
116
00:09:05,342 --> 00:09:07,482
If yer were sellin'...
117
00:09:07,482 --> 00:09:10,542
..I have to put on this
rock hard expression.
118
00:09:10,542 --> 00:09:14,342
Oh! What's this?
A take-over bid?
119
00:09:14,542 --> 00:09:19,342
We're looking for a couple of old
but serviceable machines...cheap.
120
00:09:19,342 --> 00:09:21,342
Dirt cheap.
121
00:09:22,582 --> 00:09:24,982
Dirt cheap..I don't know when...
122
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,022
..I'm gonna get my yacht.
123
00:09:27,022 --> 00:09:30,942
I'm gonna be about 60 before
I start pullin' birds.
124
00:09:30,942 --> 00:09:33,502
It'll be a race against time.
125
00:09:33,582 --> 00:09:37,302
Have you got a selection of
machines we could examine?
126
00:09:37,742 --> 00:09:41,822
Examine? For dirt cheap you expect
to EXAMINE?
127
00:09:44,282 --> 00:09:49,502
Well, what price did you
'ave in mind then, man? 45 quid, rock bottom.
128
00:09:49,882 --> 00:09:51,782
45 quid!
129
00:09:53,102 --> 00:09:55,942
Well, what price did yer 'ave
in mind, man?
130
00:09:55,942 --> 00:09:57,882
5 quid, man.
131
00:09:57,882 --> 00:09:58,982
Get out!
132
00:09:58,982 --> 00:10:00,222
Each, man.
133
00:10:00,222 --> 00:10:01,302
Out!
134
00:10:02,542 --> 00:10:04,302
'Ang on, 'ang on.
135
00:10:05,182 --> 00:10:07,182
I'll tell you what I'll do.
136
00:10:07,682 --> 00:10:12,902
I've got a shed full of
bicycle parts. I'll let you knock your own machines together.
137
00:10:12,902 --> 00:10:15,502
An' we'll arrange the money.
138
00:10:27,222 --> 00:10:32,502
He hasn't got the 1st idea and
he won't let me help him with it.
139
00:10:32,502 --> 00:10:34,942
That's not a bad
1st idea.
140
00:10:34,942 --> 00:10:39,382
I wash my hands of it.
Oh, is that my wheel?
141
00:10:39,382 --> 00:10:44,542
Well, I hope so, 'cos if it's a
musical instrument it's going to very awkward to play.
142
00:10:45,422 --> 00:10:48,882
Well, I suppose we shouldn't be
unkind to Little Electric Socks.
143
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:52,142
But I must say,
I do rather enjoy it.
144
00:10:52,142 --> 00:10:55,702
Well, you have to smile, don't you?
We're not really being unkind.
145
00:10:55,702 --> 00:10:58,902
He knows I'll help when
he comes unstuck.
146
00:11:05,742 --> 00:11:10,182
Tha should see 'im with a spanner!
'E's got no idea!
147
00:11:10,182 --> 00:11:12,442
Hey, is that my frame?
148
00:11:12,442 --> 00:11:17,862
Well, I hope so, 'cos if it's a
musical instrument it's going to be very awkward to blow.
149
00:11:19,582 --> 00:11:24,702
'E's worse with a spanner than
'e is wi' a woman. But all tall blokes are the same, aren't they?
150
00:11:24,902 --> 00:11:28,302
Don't look at me, I'm a short bloke.
151
00:11:29,782 --> 00:11:34,262
'E keeps lookin' at me machine all
envious, I pretend I'm not lookin'.
152
00:11:34,342 --> 00:11:37,982
Ah, yer can't be unkind to Big
Elsie really, can yer?
153
00:11:37,982 --> 00:11:42,902
I mean 'e knows full well I'll
'elp 'im if 'e comes unstuck.
154
00:11:43,342 --> 00:11:45,542
Think I'll give 'im a Tally Ho.
155
00:11:55,382 --> 00:12:00,062
It looks a picture. Let's 'ope we
get a better class of customer.
156
00:12:00,062 --> 00:12:02,382
Or even a better class of staff.
157
00:12:03,242 --> 00:12:06,342
'Ow many more
trips upstairs?
158
00:12:06,342 --> 00:12:09,302
Wait till yer 'ave
t'run with the food.
159
00:12:10,702 --> 00:12:12,942
Think they'll ever
like work?
160
00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:20,862
I wouldn't expect so,
it's too late. They're past it.
161
00:12:21,662 --> 00:12:24,902
They were past it before
they even started it.
162
00:12:24,902 --> 00:12:29,502
Yes...well, you'll not
change the 'abits of a lifetime.
163
00:12:29,502 --> 00:12:32,262
Suppose not,
depressin' though.
164
00:12:32,262 --> 00:12:39,462
Oh yes, very depressin'.
I blame a lot of it on television meself.
165
00:12:39,462 --> 00:12:40,442
Why?
166
00:12:40,442 --> 00:12:44,542
Well...yer see all these funny ways
of livin'.
167
00:12:44,542 --> 00:12:47,902
People enjoyin' themselves.
168
00:12:47,902 --> 00:12:53,102
It makes it 'ard for them to adjust
to the fact that REAL life...
169
00:12:53,102 --> 00:12:57,382
..if you're honest and decent,
is bound to be pretty borin'.
170
00:12:58,302 --> 00:13:00,662
Do you find yer 'usband borin'?
171
00:13:01,742 --> 00:13:07,102
Oh yes! I wouldn't 'ave 'im
any other way.
172
00:13:08,942 --> 00:13:10,542
So predictable.
173
00:13:10,542 --> 00:13:13,062
Yes, they are,
aren't they.
174
00:13:13,062 --> 00:13:18,422
Predictable and borin'.
We've a lot to be thankful for.
175
00:13:19,742 --> 00:13:22,262
Well, a bit,
anyway.
176
00:13:22,862 --> 00:13:31,302
Mind you keep them overalls clean.
People come 'ere for food, they're entitled to nothing but cleanliness.
177
00:13:32,822 --> 00:13:34,862
Hey up! Oh my God!
178
00:13:34,862 --> 00:13:41,502
Keep your 'ands off my walls!
Stand there! Just stand there and don't move.
179
00:13:41,502 --> 00:13:44,422
Don't move! What about some grub?
We're starvin'.
180
00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:50,062
One step at a time. Just stay
there a minute and let's establish some ground rules.
181
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:53,502
What happened to that homely air
of neglect?
182
00:13:54,302 --> 00:13:57,542
It's very smart, congratulations.
183
00:13:57,542 --> 00:14:02,142
We're aimin' for a better class of
customer, we're obviously failin'.
184
00:14:03,462 --> 00:14:07,542
It's like a hospital Hey! There's
Dr Kildare with 'is faithful...
185
00:14:07,662 --> 00:14:10,302
..nurse, Sister Wally.
Knife.
186
00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:14,402
Just look at the state you're in.
187
00:14:14,402 --> 00:14:17,022
We've been building bicycles.
188
00:14:17,142 --> 00:14:18,222
Bicycles?
189
00:14:18,222 --> 00:14:19,462
At Percy Dirk's.
190
00:14:19,622 --> 00:14:24,542
Ooh! That's somethin'
like a man's job! Buildin' bicycles.
191
00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:29,222
Hey up! Who's that posed so
seductively up them steps?
192
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,222
Ugh! Wrinkled
stockin's!
193
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,202
Keep 'im away!
194
00:14:34,202 --> 00:14:36,862
Don't worry, I'll keep 'm away.
195
00:14:36,862 --> 00:14:39,022
Yer can't refuse to serve 'em.
196
00:14:39,022 --> 00:14:45,462
Nobody's refusin' to serve 'em.
They're just goin' to get it... continental style.
197
00:14:45,462 --> 00:14:48,222
Continental style?
Continental style? Continental style?
198
00:14:48,662 --> 00:14:50,942
I never 'ad it like that before!
199
00:14:55,342 --> 00:14:58,742
I feel a prawn stuck out 'ere.
200
00:14:58,742 --> 00:15:03,622
I agree. It's a bit like
making love in a railway station.
201
00:15:05,262 --> 00:15:09,142
I think it's quite pleasant eating
outside. Why should you feel...
202
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,622
..a prawn?
203
00:15:10,622 --> 00:15:12,502
Them, for a start.
204
00:15:15,622 --> 00:15:18,202
What time does the show start?
205
00:15:18,202 --> 00:15:21,602
What are you talking about?
Get off home!
206
00:15:25,862 --> 00:15:27,422
Is 'e the comic?
207
00:15:27,422 --> 00:15:30,022
Go away! Go on!
208
00:15:30,502 --> 00:15:32,302
Be off, all of you. Go home!
209
00:15:33,582 --> 00:15:40,982
Beggars! Doesn't it give you a
warm feeling knowing that 70% of your rates go on education.
210
00:15:56,062 --> 00:15:57,502
It's for yer fingers!
211
00:16:05,502 --> 00:16:07,622
Hey, garsong!
212
00:16:07,622 --> 00:16:09,862
I wish you'd give over.
213
00:16:09,862 --> 00:16:16,022
It's all right for you lot out 'ere.
You were out makin' bicycles.
214
00:16:17,262 --> 00:16:20,162
I'm stuck waitin' on tables.
215
00:16:20,162 --> 00:16:22,462
Do we have to eat out here?
216
00:16:22,462 --> 00:16:29,162
There must be some scruffy little
corner Ivy could fit us into. Even if it's only the kitchen.
217
00:16:29,262 --> 00:16:34,182
You're safer out
'ere today. It's a man's world out 'ere.
218
00:16:34,182 --> 00:16:39,422
I never realised
'ow much I missed the irresponsiblity and bad language.
219
00:16:39,422 --> 00:16:42,022
We're perfectly all right out here.
220
00:16:42,022 --> 00:16:45,022
Nora's got eyes in the back
of 'er pinny.
221
00:16:45,022 --> 00:16:49,582
Ivy's in a panic on account of this
private party she's 'avin'.
222
00:16:50,622 --> 00:16:53,782
It's really quite
civilised out here.
223
00:16:53,782 --> 00:16:57,982
And that's the way it's
going to stay. Kindly stop reaching across people.
224
00:16:57,982 --> 00:17:00,582
Watch yer manners now yer on show.
225
00:17:00,582 --> 00:17:06,422
Listen Wonderwoman, I'm starvin'.
This bike buildin' gives yer an appetite.
226
00:17:06,662 --> 00:17:09,622
Not to mention the skin off
his knuckles.
227
00:17:09,622 --> 00:17:12,182
Call that thing of yours a bike?
228
00:17:15,022 --> 00:17:17,702
No more weird than the thing
you're buildin'.
229
00:17:17,702 --> 00:17:21,702
Now stand back!
I'm givin' yer due warnin'.
230
00:17:21,702 --> 00:17:24,822
Nothin's comin' between me and
this pie.
231
00:17:25,622 --> 00:17:27,422
Oh God!
232
00:19:14,462 --> 00:19:19,022
Here it comes, then.
Are you ready for this?
233
00:19:19,422 --> 00:19:20,422
CRASH
234
00:19:20,422 --> 00:19:24,422
Oh no, hang on, hang on!
There's a piece just fallen off!
235
00:19:27,182 --> 00:19:32,942
If wheeling it is going to shake
it to pieces, why don't you just carry it very gently?
236
00:19:35,782 --> 00:19:38,942
ANGRY SHOUTS
Just listen to that language!
237
00:19:38,942 --> 00:19:40,542
Me screwdriver's slipped!
238
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:47,342
It's marvellous! He hasn't been
cycling 2 minutes and already he's picked up the vocabulary!
239
00:19:48,182 --> 00:19:53,022
It's done. I'm comin'.
Is tha ready?
240
00:19:53,022 --> 00:19:54,542
Get on with it.
241
00:20:02,342 --> 00:20:03,542
Well...
242
00:20:05,122 --> 00:20:06,742
It's different.
243
00:20:08,882 --> 00:20:11,822
She's a little cracker, is this.
244
00:20:12,782 --> 00:20:17,942
Don't stand there gigglin'.
Go and get yours, then we can all 'ave a good giggle.
245
00:20:17,942 --> 00:20:20,482
I'll match yours anytime.
246
00:20:20,482 --> 00:20:24,222
Yer should see it! Well, go on.
247
00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:26,102
Hey, Norm.
248
00:20:28,022 --> 00:20:33,582
What does tha think of this nimble
little machine? Not bad, eh?
249
00:20:33,582 --> 00:20:37,382
Isn't it a bit...low at the front?
250
00:20:37,382 --> 00:20:38,542
LOW?
251
00:20:38,542 --> 00:20:43,942
Don't get upset. I didn't mean
low. I meant low and high.
252
00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:47,742
'Course it's low!
She's a little racer.
253
00:20:47,742 --> 00:20:50,582
Better than 'is great clumsy lump.
254
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,102
Built to last is this machine.
255
00:20:53,302 --> 00:20:56,382
That's what they said about
the Titanic.
256
00:21:03,702 --> 00:21:09,142
It IS the Titanic!
He's put pedals on the Titanic.
257
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:14,382
A larger machine for a taller
figure. It seems perfectly logical to me.
258
00:21:14,382 --> 00:21:18,342
Goin' t'get a nasty 'eadache
goin' under low bridges.
259
00:21:18,342 --> 00:21:23,182
Don't exaggerate. The thing's
merely a comfortable height for my length of leg.
260
00:21:23,342 --> 00:21:26,702
I feel the same way
exactly about Nora Batty.
261
00:21:28,302 --> 00:21:30,222
Where are we going riding?
262
00:21:31,022 --> 00:21:32,502
Does it matter?
263
00:21:32,502 --> 00:21:35,702
It does if you're determined
to make a spectacle of yourself.
264
00:21:35,782 --> 00:21:38,302
A spectacle of myself?
265
00:21:38,302 --> 00:21:39,382
I assure you...
266
00:21:39,482 --> 00:21:40,622
..this machine and I...
267
00:21:40,622 --> 00:21:43,902
..have no intention of
making a spectacle of ourselves.
268
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:53,382
Hang on. We'll have to wait for
Faithful Dobbin again.
269
00:21:54,422 --> 00:21:56,902
Again?
What's 'e doin'?
270
00:21:56,902 --> 00:22:00,302
About 2 mph, you've seen
what he's doing.
271
00:22:34,382 --> 00:22:37,102
Dear oh dear!
272
00:22:48,142 --> 00:22:51,302
Straighten up man!
273
00:22:51,302 --> 00:22:55,502
I can't!
Me back's locked!
274
00:22:55,502 --> 00:22:57,142
Locked?
275
00:22:57,542 --> 00:23:03,502
Well not to worry, because if it's
any consolation, through that hole there, I can see your combination!
276
00:23:06,042 --> 00:23:08,542
Keep yer 'ands off my paintwork.
277
00:23:08,542 --> 00:23:12,142
I'll topple over if I 'aven't got
anythin' to 'old onto.
278
00:23:12,902 --> 00:23:15,862
Well hold onto this thought
for today.
279
00:23:15,862 --> 00:23:21,342
If you put a mark on this
paintwork, I'll feed you through me waste disposal.
280
00:23:21,342 --> 00:23:22,582
Bones an' all!
281
00:23:24,782 --> 00:23:26,862
Right, get him down.
282
00:23:26,862 --> 00:23:29,102
ARRGH! OOH!
283
00:23:29,102 --> 00:23:32,342
ARRGH! That's right,
be brave!
284
00:23:32,342 --> 00:23:34,582
Oh, I am goin'
t'get better?
285
00:23:34,742 --> 00:23:37,502
I am goin' t'get better, eh?
286
00:23:37,502 --> 00:23:39,302
Why's it all gone quiet?
287
00:23:39,302 --> 00:23:42,862
We're thinking. You don't want
a casual snap answer.
288
00:23:42,982 --> 00:23:45,902
Yes, I do. I want a casual
snap answer.
289
00:23:46,102 --> 00:23:49,942
It's just a little crick in the
back. Worse things happen in bed.
290
00:23:50,342 --> 00:23:52,782
Not in MY bed, they don't.
291
00:23:53,742 --> 00:23:55,782
I can vouch for that.
292
00:23:58,502 --> 00:24:00,902
What's up? Tryin' t'get 'im into
a parcel?
293
00:24:00,902 --> 00:24:03,982
It's a little bicycle fatigue.
Try this.
294
00:24:05,342 --> 00:24:06,942
Get yerself down here.
295
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,942
Hang on, I know 'ow to solve it.
296
00:24:19,982 --> 00:24:23,142
Oh I like that, I like that!
297
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,862
I've never seen such an exhibition
298
00:24:26,862 --> 00:24:32,062
This situation is going to need
some very delicate handling. In fact hardly any handling at all.
299
00:24:32,462 --> 00:24:34,742
Yes, well I'll leave yer to it.
300
00:24:34,742 --> 00:24:41,342
There are darker corners of this
Universe into which a woman of my sensibility is not disposed to pry.
301
00:24:42,542 --> 00:24:46,862
Oh, while yer straightenin' 'im up,
KEEP 'IS 'ANDS OFF MY WOODWORK!
302
00:24:48,102 --> 00:24:49,342
Oooh!
303
00:24:50,662 --> 00:24:55,062
How ARE we going to straighten
him up? I think I know how.
304
00:24:57,742 --> 00:25:00,062
Sorry to have to inform you, Ivy...
305
00:25:00,062 --> 00:25:06,062
..but a certain crippled person has
accidentally put his mucky fingers all over your paintwork.
306
00:25:06,062 --> 00:25:07,142
THAT'S A LIE!
307
00:25:07,142 --> 00:25:10,102
ON MY PAINTWORK! Oh don't leave me!
308
00:25:11,542 --> 00:25:14,622
^
I told you! OOOOOH!
309
00:25:21,822 --> 00:25:25,262
By heck, Sid! Tha needs a medal.
310
00:25:27,022 --> 00:25:28,942
Feeling better?
311
00:25:28,942 --> 00:25:33,022
That was a rotten trick. But was it
worth it to get yer health back?
312
00:25:33,022 --> 00:25:34,902
It come back all of a rush.
313
00:25:34,902 --> 00:25:39,902
Well, now you're fit again.
Ready to make yourself obnoxious to all the ladies.
314
00:25:41,262 --> 00:25:43,462
I do my best.
315
00:25:43,462 --> 00:25:46,002
There's nobody does it better.
316
00:25:49,142 --> 00:25:54,342
It's all right for you lot, she
just throws you out. Me she keeps!
317
00:25:59,102 --> 00:26:01,622
Is tha sure this thing's better?
318
00:26:01,622 --> 00:26:05,942
Of course it's better. This way
we all keep at the same speed.
319
00:26:05,942 --> 00:26:10,822
Look at Cleggy.
'E looks worried about it. Only because I'm worried about it.
320
00:26:10,822 --> 00:26:16,902
There's absolutely nothing to
worry about. It's going to be a very stable machine.
321
00:26:23,402 --> 00:26:26,462
There! A stroke of genius.
322
00:26:26,462 --> 00:26:30,102
I mean look at it. Stands up
by itself.
323
00:26:30,102 --> 00:26:35,022
How safe can yer get?
6 wheels, more than a Rolls Royce.
324
00:26:35,622 --> 00:26:40,462
I was 'appier when me only worry
was a flint in me welly.
325
00:26:40,462 --> 00:26:43,022
Why are you being so negative?
326
00:26:43,022 --> 00:26:45,462
Tell him, tell him. All I ask...
327
00:26:45,602 --> 00:26:48,222
..is a fair trial.
328
00:26:48,302 --> 00:26:51,222
It looks guilty to me.
329
00:26:52,102 --> 00:26:53,142
You'll see.
330
00:26:54,022 --> 00:27:00,462
You mark my words. The world is
going to be amazed that nobody's ever thought of this idea before.
331
00:27:01,902 --> 00:27:09,662
The name Dewhurst is going to be
up there alongside Stevenson, Edison, Marconi...
332
00:27:11,182 --> 00:27:12,982
Who's that lot?
333
00:27:13,662 --> 00:27:16,902
Just to give you an idea...
they're all dead.
334
00:27:21,622 --> 00:27:24,822
It keeps goin' in all directions.
335
00:27:24,822 --> 00:27:28,022
That's because we haven't started
to ride it yet.
336
00:27:28,022 --> 00:27:33,422
Once we're in the saddles,
we'll be able to steer it accurately. At what?
337
00:27:33,422 --> 00:27:39,582
At nothing. We're just going to
coast down this gentle slope to get the feel of it.
338
00:27:42,502 --> 00:27:44,822
'As it got any brakes?
339
00:27:44,822 --> 00:27:51,162
Brakes? Not only has it got brakes.
It's got 3 independent braking systems.
340
00:27:51,162 --> 00:27:53,462
That's more than a Rolls Royce.
341
00:27:58,182 --> 00:27:59,782
Here we go then.
342
00:28:04,382 --> 00:28:05,962
Why aren't we moving?
343
00:28:05,962 --> 00:28:08,462
'E's got 'is brakes on.
344
00:28:08,462 --> 00:28:10,822
Why have you got your brakes on?
345
00:28:10,822 --> 00:28:13,102
Because he's got his brakes on.
346
00:28:13,382 --> 00:28:15,362
Come on, let's go.
347
00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:16,582
Right.
348
00:28:29,182 --> 00:28:31,462
Isn't this pleasant?
349
00:28:32,222 --> 00:28:36,422
Now we'll test the brakes.
Wait for it! Wait for my signal.
350
00:28:36,422 --> 00:28:39,582
Can't just go braking when we
feel like it.
351
00:28:39,582 --> 00:28:42,182
We must all do it together.
352
00:28:42,302 --> 00:28:44,102
Watch for my signal.
353
00:28:46,182 --> 00:28:50,182
Braking detail...
ready...steady...GO!
354
00:29:04,462 --> 00:29:08,102
Tha 4-eyed, useless TWIT!
355
00:29:08,102 --> 00:29:10,782
And THAT'S more than a Rolls Royce.
356
00:30:02,122 --> 00:30:06,542
Subtitles by Sue Northwood
357
00:30:06,592 --> 00:30:11,142
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