Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,620
♪♪
2
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,750
Girl:
[ Crying and gasping ]
3
00:00:06,830 --> 00:00:09,660
♪ Joy to the world ♪
4
00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:13,040
♪ The Lord is come ♪
5
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:15,910
♪ Let Earth receive her king ♪
Are you okay?
6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,540
Oh, I'm in so much
fucking pain!
7
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,080
Sephora's closing.
8
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,790
I'm not gonna let you buy that
lip kit full price, by the way.
9
00:00:24,870 --> 00:00:26,750
That'd be, like...
[ Moans ]
10
00:00:26,830 --> 00:00:28,000
...against civil rights.
11
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,120
Aaaaah!
Are you sure
it's just cramps?
12
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,910
'Cause my mom knows
someone who got an amoeba
13
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,330
from Panda Express.
14
00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:34,790
It's like someone is sticking
one of those
15
00:00:34,870 --> 00:00:37,790
curved Japanese swords
up my vagina.
16
00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:39,080
Fuck!
17
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:40,540
Do you want
the rest of the Oxy?
18
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:42,200
[ Whimpers ]
19
00:00:42,290 --> 00:00:44,540
Here, open the door.
20
00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,120
I-I-I can't.
I can't move.
21
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,370
I can't --
I can't unlock the door.
22
00:00:47,450 --> 00:00:49,410
Okay, I'll just
slide it under.
23
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:52,040
Think if you snort it
it works super fast.
24
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,830
Oh.
Ugh. Fuck!
25
00:00:54,910 --> 00:00:58,410
This is fucking true love
'cause this floor's nasty.
26
00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,580
Got it?
[ Whimpers ]
27
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,250
Oh, God, gross!
28
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:04,620
Oh, I think
I'm gonna throw up.
29
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:07,450
Are you okay?
Aaaah!
30
00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:09,580
Seriously,
what is happening?
31
00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:10,700
Aaaaah!
32
00:01:10,790 --> 00:01:12,500
Shut up!
The Chipotle woman is looking!
33
00:01:12,580 --> 00:01:15,750
Can you Google
"how to give birth"?
34
00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:16,790
What?!
35
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:17,910
Just do it.
36
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,540
You're having
a fucking baby?!
37
00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:20,910
Shut up!
You're not pregnant!
38
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,450
You don't even
look that fat.
39
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:23,660
[ Wails ]
40
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,000
Oh, God, no!
We have to call 911.
41
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,910
No!
We have to call 911.
42
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,830
My parents will
fucking kill me!
43
00:01:29,910 --> 00:01:32,750
Fuck.
People give birth in cars.
44
00:01:32,830 --> 00:01:34,450
No, you can't give birth
in a bathroom.
45
00:01:34,540 --> 00:01:36,000
It fucking happens.
It's not a big fucking deal.
46
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,250
How could you not know?
What about your period?
47
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:41,580
I thought I was bleeding.
Oh, God, Naomi!
48
00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:43,160
Shut up!
Someone is coming.
49
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:46,620
Uh, no, someone threw up
all over the floor in there.
50
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,330
And diarrhea, too.
51
00:01:48,410 --> 00:01:49,580
Oh.
[ Moans ]
52
00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:51,120
Tittyfuck cunt nugget.
It's not loading.
53
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,580
It's not loading!
Welcome to wellness 5G...
54
00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:54,290
Oh, God, it's one of those
YouTube videos
55
00:01:54,370 --> 00:01:56,200
where you have to watch
the whole fucking ad first.
56
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,540
You can't just skip.
Aaah!
57
00:01:57,620 --> 00:01:59,950
Why can you skip some
and not others?!
58
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:02,000
What the fucking fuck!
59
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,040
Fuck!
Try WikiHow!
60
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:10,200
♪♪
61
00:02:10,290 --> 00:02:12,750
♪ I like boys
I like pecs ♪
62
00:02:12,830 --> 00:02:14,540
♪ Like them arms
when they flex ♪
63
00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,500
♪ Like that print
in them sweats ♪
64
00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:18,200
♪ Tell them girls,
"Thank you, next" ♪
65
00:02:18,290 --> 00:02:20,370
♪ I like when they text me
sexy pics of 'em ♪
66
00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,330
♪ Like them abs
when there's six of 'em ♪
67
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,290
♪ Tell them girls I'm sorry ♪
68
00:02:24,370 --> 00:02:26,870
♪ I like boys
Mama, boys like me ♪
69
00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:28,370
♪ I like boys who like boys
Mama ♪
70
00:02:28,450 --> 00:02:31,160
♪ Yeah, I like boys
who like boys like me ♪
71
00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:32,500
♪ Boys like me ♪
72
00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:35,080
♪ Motherfuckin' boys like me,
bitch ♪
73
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,870
This being your third
dress-coding offense
74
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:39,410
in the first month
of school,
75
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,040
you need a guidance counselor
to sign off on this.
76
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,950
No, please don't make me see
Mr. Saltarelli.
77
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,540
That man crushes dreams.
78
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,580
He collects antique
dental equipment.
79
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:50,700
Mr. Saltarelli is dead.
80
00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:53,250
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
81
00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:54,870
How?
82
00:02:54,950 --> 00:02:56,950
[ Faint pounding ]
83
00:03:00,870 --> 00:03:03,410
Hi.
84
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,250
Hi.
85
00:03:05,330 --> 00:03:07,750
How did Mr. Saltarelli die?
86
00:03:07,830 --> 00:03:10,750
He lost sight of a drone
he was flying
87
00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:14,370
and accidentally
flew it into his head.
88
00:03:14,450 --> 00:03:16,910
He fell unconscious in his pool
and drowned.
89
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,750
Oh, shit.
90
00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:19,910
Yeah.
91
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,660
There was a guy
judging the U.S. Open
92
00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:25,330
who died when a player served
the tennis ball into his groin.
93
00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:28,290
It's true.
His name was Dick.
94
00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:30,040
That's also true.
95
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,330
I'm sorry.
96
00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:34,330
You're the new
guidance counselor?
97
00:03:34,410 --> 00:03:35,580
Sam.
98
00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:37,120
Chester.
99
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,080
You know, we're supposed to call
teachers by their last names.
100
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,290
Call me Mr. Fanger
if it feels more comfortable.
101
00:03:42,370 --> 00:03:44,500
I've always been a bit
on the fence about it.
102
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:46,410
What can I do for you?
103
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,790
You have to sign my slip,
104
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:51,950
after you make sure that
I understand the consequences
105
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,120
of having things like
multiple dress-code violations
106
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,080
on my high school record.
107
00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,040
Okay, Chester, do you understand
the consequences?
108
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,250
Three more,
and I am suspended
109
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,950
and waterboarded
and put to death or something.
110
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,290
Thing is I am a star
water polo player
111
00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:12,830
with a 4.1 GPA,
112
00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:15,250
and my tolerance
for giving a fuck is,
113
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:17,750
like, minimal.
114
00:04:17,830 --> 00:04:19,620
Where do you come down
on cursing?
115
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:21,450
Safe space.
116
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:24,790
Why do you keep
getting dress-coded?
117
00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:27,200
Once for wearing a skirt.
118
00:04:27,290 --> 00:04:29,410
Once for ripped jeans,
119
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,120
which the girls never
get in trouble for,
120
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,410
but they said the rips
were too close to my ass.
121
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,790
I mean, they didn't use
the word "ass."
122
00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:39,160
I think Mr. Saltarelli said
"derriere,"
123
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:41,000
which I had to Google
just to make sure
124
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,160
it was French for "ass."
125
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,200
But anyway...
126
00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:50,040
What do you think?
127
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:53,790
Is this too close
to my ass?
128
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:55,580
What is it about for you?
129
00:04:55,660 --> 00:04:58,700
Ooh.
What is it about for me?
130
00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:02,200
I like how you said that all
cute and guidance counselor-y.
131
00:05:02,290 --> 00:05:03,500
Is it a drag thing?
132
00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:06,620
Are you into drag?
Give to get.
133
00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:08,830
Don't they teach you that
in guidance counselor school?
134
00:05:08,910 --> 00:05:11,080
More like how to deal with kids
who try to find things out
135
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,540
about your personal life
that are none of their business.
136
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:15,870
Oh.
Okay, okay.
137
00:05:15,950 --> 00:05:18,410
So, you know,
you being a shady bitch
138
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,830
is only gonna make me
like you more.
139
00:05:20,910 --> 00:05:25,040
And if you want to therapize me,
I am all over it.
140
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,330
Like, go.
141
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:30,540
Like, let's get all
up close and personal.
142
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:33,790
You'll need to find someone
to lend you something for today.
143
00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:36,160
If I have to wear something
from The Gap,
144
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,330
I am blowing my brains out.
145
00:05:39,410 --> 00:05:41,870
That's not a suicidal
cry for help,
146
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,620
just to be clear.
147
00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:46,750
But it could be
if The Gap is involved.
148
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,580
Where is that?
149
00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:50,330
Oh, Tokyo.
150
00:05:50,410 --> 00:05:54,870
I spent the loneliest year
of my life there.
151
00:05:54,950 --> 00:06:00,290
I put it up to remind me
that when I feel alone,
152
00:06:00,370 --> 00:06:03,660
I'm never feeling
that alone.
153
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:10,330
Is that, like, a prompt
to connect to sad kids?
154
00:06:10,410 --> 00:06:14,500
Oh, boo,
you was doin' so good.
155
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:17,830
My school e-mail address.
156
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,700
If you need anything.
157
00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:24,160
I need a shit-ton
of things.
158
00:06:26,330 --> 00:06:28,080
I'm, like, a lot.
159
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,660
[ DUCKWRTH's " Crush" plays ]
160
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:38,330
♪♪
161
00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:41,790
♪ I can just watch you dance
all night ♪
162
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:44,290
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
163
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:46,750
♪ You could never let me down ♪
164
00:06:46,830 --> 00:06:48,160
♪ Crush ♪
165
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,830
♪ I can fall in love with you
all night ♪
166
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,040
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
167
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,750
♪ A crush
is my favorite sound ♪
168
00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:57,120
♪ Crush ♪
169
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,540
♪ You just running
through my brain ♪
170
00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:00,500
♪ On it like dew
on the window pane ♪
171
00:07:00,580 --> 00:07:02,620
♪ 7:00 am, we was up
all night ♪
172
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:03,790
♪ I was watching you dance ♪
173
00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:04,910
Hey, yo,
Chester, over here, man.
174
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,250
Hey, I'll see you
at practice.
175
00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:07,660
Alright, bro.
176
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,830
♪ I can just watch you dance
all night ♪
177
00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:12,580
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
178
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:14,330
Hey.
Later still good?
179
00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:15,620
Yeah,
I'll meet you there.
180
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,000
♪ Crush ♪
181
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:19,830
♪ I can fall in love with you
all night ♪
182
00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:22,000
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
183
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,370
♪ A crush
is my favorite sound ♪
184
00:07:24,450 --> 00:07:26,910
♪ Crush
♪ I never planned to crush ♪
185
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000
♪ But I'm saying all them
things to make you blush ♪
186
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,500
♪ This is such a rush ♪
187
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,160
♪ Blood to the head,
like I'm upside down ♪
188
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,000
♪ Let you cool down,
you ain't a tough guy ♪
189
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,410
♪ Say that ♪
190
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,080
♪ Unless you lookin'
for a rough ride ♪
191
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,660
♪ Poppin' wheelies
in the sunshine, play that ♪
192
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,370
♪ Put you on my BMX,
feel like a Maybach ♪
193
00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:42,750
♪ Ooh, throw it back
just like a 8-track ♪
194
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,040
♪ Marvin Gaye,
we do it your way ♪
195
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,200
♪ Usher Raymond, do it my way ♪
196
00:07:47,290 --> 00:07:49,200
♪ What happens
when you stick that jam ♪
197
00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:51,750
♪ In the middle of the yams? ♪
♪ Crush ♪
198
00:07:51,830 --> 00:07:54,870
♪ I can just watch you dance
all night ♪
199
00:07:54,950 --> 00:07:57,370
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
200
00:07:57,450 --> 00:08:00,540
Can anyone sell me a shirt?
I have a dollar.
201
00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:02,540
♪ I can fall in love
with you all night ♪
202
00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:05,040
Anyone?
♪ And you would never
let me down ♪
203
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:06,330
-Shirt for a dollar?
-Sorry, man.
204
00:08:06,410 --> 00:08:09,040
♪ A crush
is my favorite sound ♪
205
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,250
♪ Crush ♪
206
00:08:10,330 --> 00:08:11,950
"Magic Mike" stage show
over here.
207
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,620
-Ow!
-Just kidding.
208
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,370
I got dress-coded.
-Ow!
209
00:08:15,450 --> 00:08:17,830
♪ A crush
is my favorite sound ♪
210
00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:19,700
♪ Crush ♪
[ Whistle blows ]
211
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,950
-Alright, let's see it!
-Hey!
212
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:26,450
[ Indistinct shouting ]
213
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,000
You got it, you got it,
you got it!
214
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:32,660
-Nice!
-Chester, take the shot!
215
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,330
[ Cheering ]
216
00:08:34,410 --> 00:08:35,910
[ Whistle blows ]
217
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,660
[ Playing in headphones]
♪ Could never let me down ♪
218
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:41,330
♪ I can fall in lovewith you all night ♪
219
00:08:41,410 --> 00:08:43,620
♪ And you would neverlet me down ♪
220
00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:46,160
♪ A crushis my favorite sound ♪
221
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:47,700
♪ Crush ♪
222
00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:50,330
♪ I can just watch you danceall night ♪
223
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:52,620
♪ And you would neverlet me down ♪
224
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:55,080
♪ You could never let me down ♪
225
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,580
♪ Crush ♪
226
00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:59,080
♪ I can fall in love with youall night ♪
227
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,370
♪ And you would neverlet me down ♪
228
00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:03,620
♪ A crushis my favorite sound ♪
229
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:05,950
[ Laughs ]
I can't believe we got past!
230
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,540
I've been wanting to see
this one so bad!
231
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,580
[ Laughing ]
232
00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:23,000
[ Siren wails in distance ]
233
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,950
[ Jackhammering and horns
honking in distance ]
234
00:09:57,950 --> 00:10:00,040
Yo.
235
00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:06,540
Yes!
[ Laughs ]
236
00:10:27,450 --> 00:10:33,250
♪♪
237
00:10:33,330 --> 00:10:39,120
♪♪
238
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,790
[ Electricity buzzing ]
239
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:46,500
Ah-ooooo-oooooooo!
240
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:55,790
♪♪
241
00:10:55,870 --> 00:10:57,950
♪ Push, press ♪
242
00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,870
♪ More, less ♪
243
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,080
[ Tires screech, horn honks ]
244
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,040
Fuck! Sorry.
245
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,040
♪ What's your pleasure? ♪
246
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:08,410
♪ Stop, go, fast, slow ♪
247
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,700
♪ Here together ♪
248
00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:13,750
♪ What's your pleasure? ♪
249
00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,910
[ Indistinct talking ]
250
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,410
Hey, I'm Riley.
251
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,080
Oh, nice to meet you.
252
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,910
Nathan's not here yet.
Alright.
253
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,040
Uh, there's stuff
to drink inside.
Cool.
254
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,040
That girl, the one wearing way
too much pink -- she's got weed.
255
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,750
She steals it from her parents,
but she'll charge you...
256
00:11:29,830 --> 00:11:31,790
while making low-key
homophobic jokes.
257
00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:33,750
She thinks it's okay
'cause she has two dads.
258
00:11:33,830 --> 00:11:36,660
Uh, well, maybe they're those
self-hating gays.
259
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,000
It's, like, a whole thing.
260
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,160
I'm really glad you came.
261
00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:40,910
Thank you.
262
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,500
Don't break Nathan's heart.
263
00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:45,450
Yeah, I feel like in general
I don't want to mess with you.
264
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,660
[ Laughter ]
265
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:54,790
[ Indistinct talking ]
266
00:11:54,870 --> 00:11:56,200
Let's fuck those turtles up!
267
00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:57,660
[ Cellphone buzzing ]
Girl: Ah!
268
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,580
Group: Ooooh!
269
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:02,750
♪♪
270
00:12:02,830 --> 00:12:03,950
Hello?
271
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,830
This is Sam,your guidance counselor.
272
00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:08,950
I got the pictureyou sent.
273
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,620
Uh, shit.
And you thought...what?
274
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:14,950
I need to knowif you're okay.
275
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,950
I was worried.
276
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,790
Um, it's -- it's --
it's called rooftopping.
277
00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,790
It's just a thing
that people do.
278
00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:23,790
[ Chuckling ]
You can Google it.
279
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:25,620
How did you get
my number?
280
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:29,120
I called your house.Your grandma gave it to me.
281
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:34,450
Look, I need to meetwith you Monday.
282
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:36,000
Why?
283
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,160
Send a picture like that,I'm doing something about it.
284
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,580
I have to.
285
00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:40,910
No, you don't.
286
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,120
I have to.
287
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,450
Okay, I love me
a good savior complex,
288
00:12:45,540 --> 00:12:48,080
but you're really
pushing it.
289
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,120
I know people who've triedto hurt themselves.
290
00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:56,660
I don't -- I don't mess aroundwith stuff like this.
291
00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,080
Um...
292
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:01,950
well, that's not me.
293
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,290
I'm relieved to hear it,
294
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:05,950
but I'd still like tomeet with you.
295
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:13,910
You said, "This is whatloneliness looks like."
296
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,040
Meaning
it's fucking beautiful.
297
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,870
Um...
298
00:13:19,950 --> 00:13:21,750
Yeah.
299
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:29,000
I'll meet with you Monday.
300
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,790
I appreciate you
being honest.
301
00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:32,950
No one ever is.
302
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,040
I'll alwaysbe honest with you.
303
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:39,200
You just might notalways like it.
304
00:13:39,290 --> 00:13:41,660
Bye.
305
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,250
[ Cellphone squawking ]
306
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:44,910
Chingada!
Sorry.
307
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,200
That's okay.
308
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,700
Girl: Hey, are you even
real right now?
309
00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:57,290
♪♪
310
00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,120
I wasn't invited.
311
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:07,830
♪♪
312
00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:09,870
♪ Everything won't go right ♪
313
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,250
♪ But still I learn ♪
314
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:12,870
♪ Even though I'm here
on Earth ♪
315
00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:14,750
♪ Heaven is the place
I'm worth ♪
316
00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:15,870
♪ I'll make it work ♪
317
00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:17,080
-Hi.
-Nathan?
318
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,700
-Sorry.
-Hey, how's it going?
319
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:20,910
I'm having the worst night
of my life.
320
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,790
Wait, are you crying?
321
00:14:22,870 --> 00:14:25,330
No, I-I just got something
in my eye.
322
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:26,700
Fuck.
It sucks.
323
00:14:26,790 --> 00:14:28,250
Wait a minute,
I want to talk to you.
324
00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:30,580
-Can you take a picture of us?
-Seriously?
325
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:32,750
I just said I was having
the worst night of my life.
326
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:36,750
This might be the worst night
of your life.
327
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:38,620
Actually, no,
that might be
328
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:42,750
when your old youth pastor
messages you on Grindr.
329
00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,620
Okay, we're ready.
[ Chuckles ]
330
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,870
But...my point is,
331
00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:51,620
for the most part,
it only goes up, right?
332
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:55,580
And you should get a picture
to remember
333
00:14:55,660 --> 00:14:58,620
that you'll never feel
that bad again.
334
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,290
I'm not really
following you.
335
00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:03,290
That's okay.
336
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:06,950
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
337
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:15,790
♪♪
338
00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:17,660
Girl: You ready?
339
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,790
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
340
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,580
[ Laughs ]
341
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:53,120
What does it look like?
342
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,330
[ Laughter ]
343
00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:56,500
[ Speaks Spanish ]
344
00:15:56,580 --> 00:15:58,540
♪ I like boys
I like pecs ♪
345
00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,540
♪ Like them arms
when they flex ♪
346
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,410
♪ Like that print
in them sweats ♪
347
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:03,580
♪ Tell them girls,
"Thank you, next" ♪
348
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:05,080
See you guys later.
349
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,580
♪ I like when they text me
sexy pics of 'em ♪
350
00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:08,540
♪ Like them abs
when there's six of 'em ♪
351
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:10,200
♪ Tell them girls I'm sorry ♪
352
00:16:10,290 --> 00:16:14,000
♪ I like boys
Mama, boys like me ♪
353
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,450
Um, hi.
354
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:18,870
Um, those portraits
you took of Lucía are amazing.
355
00:16:18,950 --> 00:16:21,370
You're so talented.
Oh, that's so sweet.
356
00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:23,870
I barely had to do anything.
Her eyes are gorgeous.
357
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:26,000
I'm obsessed with her.
358
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,870
Here, I'll show you.
359
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,870
This is the most amazing picture
I've ever seen.
360
00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:37,330
[ Both laugh ]
361
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:38,830
Oh, shoot,
that's out of focus.
362
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,910
Oh, no,
I didn't like that one.
Yeah.
363
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,370
I'm sorry, I just...
No. Yeah.
364
00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:44,620
It's --
the focus is weird.
365
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,580
Oh, yeah, you're right.
This one.
366
00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:47,870
This is the amazing one.
367
00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:49,660
Yeah.
368
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:55,870
Are you coming tonight?
369
00:16:55,950 --> 00:16:57,290
Definitely.
370
00:16:57,370 --> 00:16:59,080
Cool.
371
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,700
Ana, can you help me
with my makeup?
372
00:17:01,790 --> 00:17:04,120
What the fuck?
Yes.
373
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,620
[ Laughs ]
374
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:08,410
[ Radio playing Paulina Rubio's
"Yo Yo Siga Aquí ]
375
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:11,830
♪ Pensaré si queda
alguna manera ♪
376
00:17:11,910 --> 00:17:15,410
♪ Pensaré si queda
alguna manera ♪
377
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:19,580
♪ Pa' que te fijes en mí
y entonces me quieras ♪
378
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:21,000
[ Gunfire ]
379
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,750
The guns.
380
00:17:22,830 --> 00:17:24,200
Tonight we're gonna have
a little kiki
381
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:25,660
about toxic masculinity.
382
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:26,790
[ Speaks Spanish ]
383
00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:28,700
[ Gunfire and screaming ]
384
00:17:28,790 --> 00:17:30,620
Go like this.
385
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,160
Now go like that.
386
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:35,540
More.
387
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:37,410
[ Laughs ]
388
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,830
Not too much makeup, okay?
389
00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:40,910
Do you tell a banker
how to count money?
390
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,660
Shut the fuck up.
391
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:43,950
Who is she?
392
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,450
Who?
393
00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:47,370
The girl I'm beating
your face for.
394
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:50,120
Oh, uh,
it's not for anyone.
395
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,500
It's just,
you know, a party.
396
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:53,620
Bitch, please.
397
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:55,540
I'm your aunt,
not your mother.
398
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:57,250
I don't care.
399
00:17:57,330 --> 00:17:59,580
Am I supposed to tell you
to be home at a certain time?
400
00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:00,660
-No.
-11:00!
401
00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,790
I'm gonna
fucking kill you.
402
00:18:02,870 --> 00:18:05,330
How about 1:00?
403
00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:07,580
Thank you.
404
00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:09,370
You talk to her today?
405
00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:11,410
Who?
406
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:14,500
Tu mamá.
407
00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:16,330
Uh-huh.
408
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:19,830
It's too stressful.
409
00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:21,330
I don't know what to say to her
on the phone.
410
00:18:21,410 --> 00:18:22,660
She just starts crying.
411
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,540
What the fuck, Greta?
No seas egoísta.
412
00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:26,830
I am not selfish!
413
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:28,450
I don't know what to say to her
on the phone.
414
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,040
Why are you yelling at me?
415
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,200
Put yourself in her shoes.
416
00:18:31,290 --> 00:18:32,660
Why do you care about her?
417
00:18:32,750 --> 00:18:35,200
-She's your mother.
-She's a total bitch to you.
418
00:18:35,290 --> 00:18:38,160
You watching us
while she's gone
419
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,620
is, like, her nightmare.
420
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:43,000
Yeah, mine, too.
421
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,830
[ Banging ]
422
00:18:44,910 --> 00:18:47,450
[ Baby crying in distance ]
423
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:50,080
[ Dog barking ]
424
00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:58,700
[ Cellphone squawking ]
425
00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:01,500
[ Party music playing
in distance ]
426
00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:03,120
Chingada!
Sorry.
427
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,370
That's okay.
428
00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:05,870
Girl: Wait, are you
even real right now?
429
00:19:05,950 --> 00:19:08,040
Hi! Oh, my God.
430
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,200
Your tits look so good.
431
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:13,370
And, um, can we talk
about that crop top?
432
00:19:13,450 --> 00:19:15,290
I hate it when hot guys
go queeny.
433
00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:17,750
Like, stay with me, baby.
434
00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:19,040
Be a man.
435
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,750
Do your dads care
that you say shit like that?
436
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,910
Seriously,
you're such a bigot.
437
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,500
How can I be a bigot?
438
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,370
My parents are fags.
439
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:32,080
♪♪
440
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,910
Hey, there you are.
441
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,790
Wait, are you okay?
442
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:38,080
Oh, my God.
[ Laughs ]
443
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,750
I'm so sorry.
[ Clattering ]
444
00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:41,580
Wait, one second.
D-Don't move, okay?
445
00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:42,830
I'll be right back.
446
00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:44,290
Hi, hi, are you okay?
447
00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:46,660
-I'm alright.
-I'm texting Chester right now.
448
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,620
Don't worry about Naomi.
You don't need a twin.
449
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:49,950
You have me.
-I'm fine.
450
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,080
Nathan: I just got something
in my eye.
451
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,620
Hi. Sorry.
452
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,250
Are you okay?
453
00:19:56,330 --> 00:19:57,750
Chester: Nathan?
454
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,410
Family drama.
455
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,790
Hey, how's it going?
Oh. That sucks.
456
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:05,750
Wait, are you crying?
457
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:10,500
-My mom recently got, um --
-Fuck.
458
00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:11,660
Wait a minute.
I want to talk to you.
459
00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:12,910
Can you take
a picture of us?
460
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,620
Yeah, one second.
461
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:17,120
This might be the worst night
of your life.
462
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,620
Are you sure you're okay?
463
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:20,910
Actually, no,
that might be
464
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,160
when your old
youth pastor...
465
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:24,750
Yeah.
466
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:26,620
Okay, we're ready.
467
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:29,450
But my point is...
468
00:20:31,410 --> 00:20:34,790
♪ It's okay,
it's okay ♪
469
00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:36,330
You ready?
470
00:20:36,410 --> 00:20:38,330
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
[ Woman moans ]
471
00:20:38,410 --> 00:20:42,790
Man: Oh, yeah. You want pussyand dick, don't you?
472
00:20:42,870 --> 00:20:45,160
Woman: You like thatdouble Happy Meal.
473
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:48,370
You want to order a burger,a hot dog,
474
00:20:48,450 --> 00:20:50,450
and all the soda!
475
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:52,620
[ Shudders ]
Man: Oh, fuck!
476
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:55,000
Ah! [ Shudders ]
477
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,160
[ Moaning ]
478
00:20:58,250 --> 00:20:59,660
Man: Doggone it, Naomi,
that credit card's
479
00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:00,790
for emergencies only.
480
00:21:00,870 --> 00:21:02,450
Naomi:
It was an emergency, Dad!
481
00:21:02,540 --> 00:21:05,040
At bleepin' Nordstrom's?
[ Woman screaming ]
482
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,540
Yes, at bleepin' Nordstrom's,
Dad!
483
00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:09,410
If you had a bleepin'
monthly visitor
484
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,000
and you were wearing
white pants,
485
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,370
you might have to go
to bleepin' Nordstrom's!
486
00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:15,120
So yeah, it --
it was a bleep--
487
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,330
Megan: I'm gonna be in school
today for a fundraising meeting,
488
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,700
so I can take you
and your sister
489
00:21:19,790 --> 00:21:21,290
to church for the rehearsal.
490
00:21:21,370 --> 00:21:23,540
Please wear a collared shirt --
makes you look taller.
491
00:21:23,620 --> 00:21:26,660
We have to leave right after
school, so meet me out front.
492
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,000
What did I say?
493
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,160
-Meet you out front.
-Were you talking to me?
494
00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:30,540
Right after school.
No.
495
00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:31,830
Why are they
having a rehearsal
496
00:21:31,910 --> 00:21:33,040
when the wedding
is two weeks away?
497
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:34,700
Because we're organized,
498
00:21:34,790 --> 00:21:37,160
and because I have the mayor's
prayer breakfast to deal with,
499
00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:40,620
and there are already
1,500 RSVPs.
500
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,830
Oh. [ Exhales ]
501
00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:44,370
Mm.
502
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,160
Oh, no.
Please, no.
503
00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:51,120
-What?
-Nothing.
504
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,540
Megan: I'm gonna be at school
today for a fundraising meeting,
505
00:21:53,620 --> 00:21:55,750
so I can take you
and your brother
506
00:21:55,830 --> 00:21:57,870
to the church
for rehearsal, okay?
507
00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:59,160
And please wear
the pleated skirt.
508
00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:02,000
It's so nice
for your knees.
509
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,410
What's the purple dot for?
510
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,870
-Will you taste this, honey?
-Um, eggs.
511
00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:09,120
Venmo me...
I can take you and your brother
to the church
512
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,580
for the rehearsal, okay?
513
00:22:10,660 --> 00:22:13,040
So meet me out front, okay?
What did I say?
514
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:15,750
-[ Snorts ]
-Wow.
515
00:22:15,830 --> 00:22:19,660
Will you put down your phones,
please, and listen to me?
516
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:23,080
It's very frustrating,
you know,
517
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,830
that you insist on
seeing me in this way.
518
00:22:25,910 --> 00:22:27,830
I am a loose person
519
00:22:27,910 --> 00:22:30,540
with a wide range
of interests.
520
00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:33,500
I'm blessed with many,
many friends.
521
00:22:33,580 --> 00:22:36,370
I-I do appreciate
modern art.
522
00:22:36,450 --> 00:22:38,500
I adore
the Spanish language.
523
00:22:38,580 --> 00:22:41,080
You know, I'm --
I'm a fully formed person,
524
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,370
and yet you two --
you insist on seeing me
525
00:22:43,450 --> 00:22:47,330
like this --
this stick figure,
526
00:22:47,410 --> 00:22:49,580
and it's very...
527
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:52,750
it's frustrating.
528
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,580
We weren't even
talking about you.
529
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:57,250
Father: Nathan.
530
00:22:57,330 --> 00:23:00,120
If I ever start scheduling
sex dates on a white board,
531
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,120
please just, like,
stab me repeatedly.
532
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,620
Same. Also, why did
they choose purple?
533
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:05,950
I loved purple.
534
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,290
And now every time
I see purple,
535
00:23:07,370 --> 00:23:10,080
I think about
Dad ramming Mom.
536
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,250
Oh, look, there's Jack.
537
00:23:12,330 --> 00:23:14,410
Could he be hotter?
538
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:15,700
You can hang with us,
you know.
539
00:23:15,790 --> 00:23:17,250
I don't wanna
third wheel.
540
00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:20,620
Whatever. He knows we talk
about everything anyway.
541
00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:22,200
I mean, I tell you more
than you tell me,
542
00:23:22,290 --> 00:23:23,950
but that's just 'cause
you're not getting any.
543
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,830
Literally all you're getting
is hickeys.
544
00:23:25,910 --> 00:23:27,950
He wants me to blow him.
545
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,450
But I don't know.
Dicks are not cute.
546
00:23:30,540 --> 00:23:31,750
Is he even circumcised?
547
00:23:31,830 --> 00:23:34,200
God, you're nasty.
548
00:23:34,290 --> 00:23:35,290
Hi.
-Hey.
549
00:23:35,370 --> 00:23:36,330
-Hi.
-What's up, baby?
550
00:23:36,410 --> 00:23:38,290
-Hi.
-How you doing?
551
00:23:40,330 --> 00:23:42,830
[ School bell rings ]
552
00:23:42,910 --> 00:23:44,000
♪ I like boys ♪
553
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,910
Riley: Oh, shit.
554
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,830
See, I don't find a crop top
on a guy sexy.
555
00:23:47,910 --> 00:23:50,620
No, I agree,
but the ballsiness is...
556
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:52,120
and the zero body fat.
557
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,290
Jesus, can you please invite him
to your party tonight?
558
00:23:55,370 --> 00:23:56,620
No, I'm not gonna
invite him.
559
00:23:56,700 --> 00:24:00,120
I don't know him.
560
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,750
Naomi hates me.
561
00:24:01,830 --> 00:24:03,830
She low-key
hates everyone.
562
00:24:03,910 --> 00:24:05,620
Also, she can't start dating
and then ignore me
563
00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:07,450
and all of a sudden stop
watching "The Bachelor"
564
00:24:07,540 --> 00:24:09,160
with me in season 23
565
00:24:09,250 --> 00:24:11,540
and then be jealous of me
having friends.
566
00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:12,790
Greta: Um, hi.
567
00:24:12,870 --> 00:24:14,290
Um, that Lucía picture
you took is amazing.
568
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:15,500
You're so talented.
569
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:16,700
Oh, thanks.
570
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:18,120
Are you coming tonight?
571
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,200
Definitely.
572
00:24:19,290 --> 00:24:22,040
Cool.
573
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:23,370
Nathan:
What a fucking hero.
574
00:24:23,450 --> 00:24:25,370
Riley, you need to
invite him.
575
00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:28,290
I'm not gonna invite him.
576
00:24:28,370 --> 00:24:30,160
What's this gonna say?
577
00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:31,540
[ School bell rings ]
578
00:24:31,620 --> 00:24:33,290
You're reviewing
last night's homework,
579
00:24:33,370 --> 00:24:36,410
numbers 4, 6, 7, and 8.
580
00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:38,200
I had trouble
with number 8.
581
00:24:38,290 --> 00:24:39,290
She's so annoying.
582
00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:40,950
Okay, let's talk about it.
583
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,540
Okay, "The ratio of boys to
girls in a physics class is 3:1.
584
00:24:43,620 --> 00:24:45,500
If six students are absent
and the total class number
585
00:24:45,580 --> 00:24:48,540
is divisible by six,
how many students are girls?"
586
00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:50,330
What's the problem,
Delilah?
587
00:24:50,410 --> 00:24:51,750
The problem is
588
00:24:51,830 --> 00:24:54,580
we don't live in a world
of just boys and girls.
589
00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:56,660
What about
non-binary kids?
590
00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:58,700
Well, let's assume
that all the students
591
00:24:58,790 --> 00:25:02,830
in this fictitious class
are straight.
592
00:25:02,910 --> 00:25:06,330
I think the word you meant
to say is cisgender,
593
00:25:06,410 --> 00:25:08,500
but anyways,
solving the problem,
594
00:25:08,580 --> 00:25:10,200
there are apparently
36 boys
595
00:25:10,290 --> 00:25:12,790
and apparently 12 girls
in a physics class,
596
00:25:12,870 --> 00:25:16,160
which, when you think about it,
is pretty anti-feminist.
597
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:19,120
And, like, what about
the six absent kids?
598
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,410
Is anyone else thinking
they didn't show up
599
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:23,750
because they are
non-binary
600
00:25:23,830 --> 00:25:25,370
and felt sick
of getting bullied
601
00:25:25,450 --> 00:25:28,410
by douchey
cisgender kids?
602
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:32,080
Well, um,
moving on to problem 9.
603
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,790
Actually, I also had trouble
with number 9.
604
00:25:34,870 --> 00:25:37,160
"Magic Mike"
stage show over here.
605
00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:39,580
Girl: Ow!
606
00:25:39,660 --> 00:25:40,790
Arianna:
What is this?
607
00:25:40,870 --> 00:25:42,410
Naomi: Bitch, they're hickeys.
Come on.
608
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:45,290
Oh, my God, I heard if
the hickeys are long and skinny
609
00:25:45,370 --> 00:25:47,290
it means he's a sociopath.
610
00:25:47,370 --> 00:25:50,450
But if they're round,
he's a normal guy.
611
00:25:50,540 --> 00:25:52,950
They look kinda
long and skinny.
612
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,080
Really?
613
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,450
Also, a New Zealand woman
had a stroke
614
00:25:56,540 --> 00:25:57,830
because of a hickey,
okay?
615
00:25:57,910 --> 00:25:59,410
-You're joking.
-So be careful.
616
00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:01,120
His mouth is lethal.
617
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,790
-What are you doing?
-It's funny.
618
00:26:02,870 --> 00:26:04,500
No, it's not funny!
Give me your phone.
619
00:26:04,580 --> 00:26:05,910
-No.
-Give me your phone!
620
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,290
No!
Why do you have to be
such a douche?
621
00:26:08,370 --> 00:26:10,950
Fuck you!
622
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,790
Fine, snitch on me
to Mom again.
623
00:26:12,870 --> 00:26:13,910
I don't care!
624
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,500
Priest: Okay,
how's everybody feeling?
625
00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:20,120
A little nervous?
It's normal.
626
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,500
Okay, so I'll make
a brief intro,
627
00:26:23,580 --> 00:26:25,120
then I'll say
a few words about you...
628
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,660
Nathan: Oh.
629
00:26:26,750 --> 00:26:28,200
...about how much your family
has meant to this church.
630
00:26:28,290 --> 00:26:30,750
Megan: Oh, please,
no, no, no, no.
631
00:26:30,830 --> 00:26:33,870
No, you don't have to
say anything.
632
00:26:33,950 --> 00:26:35,450
I couldn't possibly
dominate this.
633
00:26:35,540 --> 00:26:36,830
It's not about me.
634
00:26:36,910 --> 00:26:38,750
-You know --
-It's about Natalia.
635
00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:40,410
This is Natalia's day.
636
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:43,000
I do need to say something,
Megan and Mark.
No.
637
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,330
My goodness,
what you have done for us --
638
00:26:45,410 --> 00:26:48,330
No, really, please, it's not --
it's -- we do what we can.
639
00:26:48,410 --> 00:26:51,830
Okay, so I'll be reading
from 1 Corinthians.
640
00:26:51,910 --> 00:26:55,160
"Love is patient,
love is kind.
641
00:26:55,250 --> 00:26:58,040
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
642
00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:00,160
it is not proud.
643
00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:04,080
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
644
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:08,620
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
645
00:27:08,700 --> 00:27:14,540
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
646
00:27:14,620 --> 00:27:17,290
It always protects,
always trusts,
647
00:27:17,370 --> 00:27:20,620
always hopes,
always perseveres."
648
00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:22,080
Can you please just keep it
a secret?
649
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,500
You just said
you're not gay.
650
00:27:23,580 --> 00:27:24,620
I'm not!
651
00:27:24,700 --> 00:27:26,200
Why would you even
record that?
652
00:27:26,290 --> 00:27:28,040
For the same reason
you took the picture.
653
00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:30,120
-It was a joke!
-Me too!
654
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,540
How was I supposed to know
I was recording gay porn?
655
00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:33,910
It's not gay.
656
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,040
A guy sending a guy
dick pics?
657
00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:38,790
What could be gayer
than that?
658
00:27:38,870 --> 00:27:40,200
Why wouldn't you tell me?
659
00:27:40,290 --> 00:27:42,540
There's nothing to tell.
I tell you everything.
660
00:27:42,620 --> 00:27:44,120
I told you I might even
touch a dick.
661
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,870
Okay, well, maybe touching
a dick is very different.
662
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,290
Oh, my God.
663
00:27:50,370 --> 00:27:53,000
If you want to do secrets
and shit, fine, we'll do it.
664
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,750
I just --
I thought we were --
665
00:27:54,830 --> 00:27:56,330
What?
666
00:27:56,410 --> 00:27:59,750
I don't know, like,
not like that.
667
00:27:59,830 --> 00:28:03,200
But if you show anyone
that picture,
668
00:28:03,290 --> 00:28:06,580
I will project this video
on top of the fucking school.
669
00:28:08,540 --> 00:28:11,500
[ Party music playing ]
670
00:28:11,580 --> 00:28:12,700
[ Tires screech, horn honks ]
671
00:28:12,790 --> 00:28:14,330
Fuck! Sorry.
672
00:28:14,410 --> 00:28:19,080
♪♪
673
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:20,500
♪ Here together ♪
674
00:28:20,580 --> 00:28:23,290
Oh, hey.
I totally crashed.
675
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,700
♪ Here together ♪
676
00:28:29,790 --> 00:28:31,580
♪ What's your pleasure ♪
677
00:28:31,660 --> 00:28:35,000
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
678
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:39,200
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
679
00:28:39,290 --> 00:28:43,080
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
680
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:47,250
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
681
00:28:47,330 --> 00:28:48,790
Let's fuck those turtles up!
682
00:28:48,870 --> 00:28:52,950
♪ Look so pretty
dancing sideways ♪
683
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,540
Hey, Jack, can I, um,
talk to you for a minute?
684
00:28:56,620 --> 00:28:57,790
Yeah.
685
00:28:57,870 --> 00:29:00,790
♪ Spin me 'round
so I'm unwinding ♪
686
00:29:00,870 --> 00:29:05,410
♪ Can you tell it's real? ♪
687
00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:10,500
♪ I know the way
to make you happy ♪
688
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,200
This is, um...
689
00:29:30,540 --> 00:29:31,910
Do you feel shitty?
690
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,200
'Cause I feel shitty,
and Naomi saw the chat --
691
00:29:34,290 --> 00:29:36,080
She's not gonna find out.
692
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,160
And it's not like it means
anything, right?
693
00:29:38,250 --> 00:29:39,540
It's just --
just a hookup?
694
00:29:39,620 --> 00:29:41,500
Yeah.
695
00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:44,040
[ Both breathing heavily ]
696
00:29:52,750 --> 00:29:54,200
Mm, mm.
Sorry.
697
00:29:54,290 --> 00:29:56,200
It's okay.
698
00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:04,410
Do you want to?
699
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:06,580
I don't know, um...
700
00:30:08,950 --> 00:30:11,410
[ Breathing heavily ]
701
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:18,870
[ Grunts ]
702
00:30:18,950 --> 00:30:21,410
Oh, dude, you just came
in my fucking eye!
703
00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:23,040
Oh!
704
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:24,540
Riley:
Wait, one second, okay?
705
00:30:24,620 --> 00:30:25,950
Hold on.
I'll be right back.
706
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,040
Hey. Are you okay?
I'm fine.
707
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,040
Okay, I'm texting
Chester right now.
708
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,410
You gotta talk to him
before he leaves.
709
00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:34,540
Hey, don't worry
about Naomi.
710
00:30:34,620 --> 00:30:35,830
You don't need a twin.
You have me.
711
00:30:35,910 --> 00:30:37,830
I'm fine,
I just need some water.
712
00:30:37,910 --> 00:30:42,910
♪♪
713
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,910
♪♪
714
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,000
-Hi.
-Nathan?
715
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,250
Hey, how's it going?
716
00:30:52,330 --> 00:30:54,620
Wait, are you crying?
717
00:30:54,700 --> 00:30:57,540
No, I'm having the worst night
of my fucking life.
718
00:30:57,620 --> 00:30:58,870
Fuck!
Riley: That sucks.
719
00:30:58,950 --> 00:31:00,160
Wait a minute,
I want to talk to you.
720
00:31:00,250 --> 00:31:01,410
Hey, can you take
a picture of us?
721
00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:02,910
-Yeah, one second.
-Seriously?
722
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,450
I just said I was having
the worst night of my life.
723
00:31:04,540 --> 00:31:06,370
You might be having
the worst night of your life.
724
00:31:06,450 --> 00:31:08,620
Actually, no,
that might be
725
00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:12,580
when your old youth pastor
messages you on Grindr.
726
00:31:12,660 --> 00:31:14,080
But my point is...
727
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:19,500
♪ Been living on a prayer
all along ♪
728
00:31:19,580 --> 00:31:21,200
♪ I can't erase my life ♪
729
00:31:21,290 --> 00:31:22,790
♪ Everything won't go right ♪
730
00:31:22,870 --> 00:31:24,290
♪ But still I learn ♪
731
00:31:24,370 --> 00:31:26,120
♪ Even though I'm here
on Earth ♪
732
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:27,950
♪ Heaven is the place
I'm worth ♪
733
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,500
♪ I'll make it work ♪
734
00:31:29,580 --> 00:31:31,200
♪ I wanna change, my lover ♪
735
00:31:31,290 --> 00:31:32,910
♪ Even in the days I suffer ♪
736
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,250
♪ I can't get worse ♪
737
00:31:34,330 --> 00:31:36,950
...that you'll never feel
this bad again.
738
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,450
I'm not really
following you.
739
00:31:39,540 --> 00:31:42,120
It's okay.
740
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,620
But will you remind me
tomorrow?
741
00:31:44,700 --> 00:31:47,830
It sounds like something
I really want to remember.
742
00:31:47,910 --> 00:31:50,620
♪ It's all good, it's okay ♪
743
00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:52,620
♪ Everything is going my way ♪
744
00:31:52,700 --> 00:31:54,250
♪ And when it's over ♪
745
00:31:54,330 --> 00:31:56,120
Riley: You ready?
746
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,370
♪ And make it to
a brand new day ♪
747
00:31:58,450 --> 00:32:00,250
♪ And then she'll say ♪
748
00:32:12,410 --> 00:32:14,830
[ Sheets rustling ]
749
00:32:14,910 --> 00:32:18,500
How badly did I embarrass myself
in front of Chester?
750
00:32:18,580 --> 00:32:21,250
You were fine.
He liked you.
751
00:32:21,330 --> 00:32:22,540
But?
752
00:32:22,620 --> 00:32:24,910
But nothing.
753
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,870
But what?
754
00:32:26,950 --> 00:32:28,830
He said you were
really sweet.
755
00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:36,250
Did you actually tell Naomi
you're bi?
756
00:32:38,370 --> 00:32:40,080
No.
757
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,910
I can't believe
I hooked up with Jack.
758
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,160
It's okay.
759
00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,040
It's really not.
760
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,080
If I had a sister,
I would literally do nothing
761
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:51,830
but fuck her boyfriends.
762
00:32:51,910 --> 00:32:53,910
[ Laughs ] Yeah?
763
00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:57,080
Yeah.
764
00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:02,290
Did you have fun
at your party?
765
00:33:02,370 --> 00:33:04,540
Not in a life-altering way.
766
00:33:04,620 --> 00:33:07,000
But yeah,
it was fun.
767
00:33:08,790 --> 00:33:12,250
You should go
back to bed.
768
00:33:12,330 --> 00:33:14,700
Will you sleep
next to me?
769
00:33:14,790 --> 00:33:16,540
Sure.
770
00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:18,410
In a bit.
771
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,910
[ Renforshort's "I Drive Me Mad"
plays ]
772
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:39,410
♪♪
773
00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:42,120
♪ I can't quite help it ♪
774
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,450
♪ It's overwhelming ♪
775
00:33:44,540 --> 00:33:49,750
♪ Sometimes I wanna stick
a cigarette in my ♪
776
00:33:49,830 --> 00:33:52,330
♪ Eyes closed, not sleeping ♪
777
00:33:52,410 --> 00:33:54,750
♪ It's just hard being human ♪
778
00:33:54,830 --> 00:33:59,700
♪ Some days I wake up
and I feel like I just wanna ♪
779
00:33:59,790 --> 00:34:01,750
♪ Dye my hair neon green ♪
780
00:34:01,830 --> 00:34:04,370
♪ So I can forget I'm me ♪
781
00:34:04,450 --> 00:34:10,870
♪ Don't wanna think about
drinking a glass of gasoline ♪
782
00:34:10,950 --> 00:34:15,000
♪ I'm hyperventilating, pacing ♪
783
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,330
♪ I'm losing my patience ♪
784
00:34:17,410 --> 00:34:21,450
♪ Feeling bad about shit
I didn't do ♪
785
00:34:21,540 --> 00:34:24,450
♪ So dramatic, panicked, ♪
786
00:34:24,540 --> 00:34:26,620
♪ I got pre-traumatic ♪
787
00:34:26,700 --> 00:34:28,750
♪ Stress 'cause
nothing happened yet ♪
788
00:34:28,830 --> 00:34:30,540
♪ But it did in my head ♪
789
00:34:30,620 --> 00:34:32,580
♪ I drive me mad ♪
790
00:34:32,660 --> 00:34:35,120
♪ I drive me absolutely crazy ♪
791
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:36,790
♪ I feel bad ♪
792
00:34:36,870 --> 00:34:40,290
♪ For you 'cause I'm so
fucking paranoid and sad ♪
793
00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:43,790
♪ All the time, you could
blame it on my mind ♪
794
00:34:43,870 --> 00:34:45,620
♪ And now I'm mad ♪
795
00:34:45,700 --> 00:34:48,160
♪ I drive me mad ♪
796
00:34:48,250 --> 00:34:49,790
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
797
00:34:49,870 --> 00:34:57,330
♪♪
798
00:34:57,410 --> 00:35:01,160
♪ Ah, ah-ah-ah ♪
799
00:35:01,250 --> 00:35:03,870
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
800
00:35:03,950 --> 00:35:07,620
♪ I feel bad for you ♪
801
00:35:07,700 --> 00:35:09,830
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
802
00:35:09,910 --> 00:35:11,830
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
803
00:35:11,910 --> 00:35:16,370
♪ 'Cause I drive me mad, too ♪
♪ I drive me mad ♪
804
00:35:16,450 --> 00:35:18,540
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
805
00:35:18,620 --> 00:35:20,620
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
806
00:35:20,700 --> 00:35:24,660
♪ 'Cause I drive me mad, too ♪
♪ I drive me mad ♪
807
00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:29,200
♪ I drive me absolutely crazy,
I feel bad ♪
808
00:35:29,290 --> 00:35:32,700
♪ For you 'cause I'm so
fucking paranoid and sad ♪
809
00:35:32,790 --> 00:35:36,080
♪ All the time, you could
blame it on my mind ♪
810
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,040
♪ Now I'm mad ♪
811
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,330
♪ I drive me mad ♪
812
00:35:40,410 --> 00:35:42,620
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
56834
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