Original subtitles

APS Films.

Hi, sorry to do this.

I know it's against the rules of this whole thing,

but I just wanted to take one second of your time.

My name's Logan Clark and I made a movie

that I am so proud of and I really think you'd like it.

And I would love to share it with you.

It's about a guy making his way in the world.

There's relationship drama and his friends are so funny.

The whole cast is super talented and it looks amazing.

I mean, honestly, I put everything I have into this

and I know that you're probably skeptical

because it is an indie film but-

- Wait.

Are you talking to me?

Yeah.

Sorry.

I'm better at directing than pitching.

Should I?

I should start over?

Start over.

No, no, you're good.

Why don't you tell me what those are?

Oh, these are panko crusted crab cakes

with a roasted pepper chive aioli.

Always loved aioli.

Never figured out what it is.

It's just mayonnaise.

It's not just mayonnaise.

No, it's not just mayonnaise.

So you made a movie.

Is it scary?

No, it's indie comedy.

It's not really laugh driven though.

No laughs.

Well they're contextual.

When's it come out?

TBD.

We submitted to a bunch of festivals,

so we're just waiting to hear.

And you know, I was hoping maybe you

or one of the other agents.

How'd you know I was an agent?

All the caterers know who the agents are.

I hope you don't mind me pitching.

Oh, what are you pitching?

The crab cakes I hope.

Is everything okay here?

Yeah.

These fucking rock.

Oh wonderful.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

Logan, we need you upfront.

Yeah.

Ah.

Sorry, I feel like I flubbed this.

- Let me take it from the top. - Okay, rule of thumb.

You should be able to pitch a movie in 10 syllables.

Oh, okay.

Relationship with this guy who-

- No, it's too long.

Try this.

Woman gets trapped on a treadmill.

Dreadmill.

Did you just come up with that?

No, that's the movie this whole party's for.

That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard.

No, that's a $9,000 budget that's gonna make 38 millions.

It's genius.

They put hot sauce on this?

Cholula.

Look, how honest do you want me to be with you right now?

Very honest.

No one gives a shit.

About you.

This isn't to hurt your feelings.

This is just reality.

Like no one's impressed by your ambition

or that you made a movie or what you put into it

'cause everybody says that and nobody knows you.

And no one wants to sell your film

unless it sells itself like Dreadmill.

Honestly, the best advice I could give you

is to take everything you've learned

about show business and start flipping houses.

But if I could just get you to watch it, I do have a link.

I need you to leave that man.

Look, if it gets into a reputable festival and wins,

hit me up and I'll try to get my boss to watch it.

Sucks on this side too, man.

Wait.

Let me help you out.

Pop pop.

Uh oh.

Logan.

Toni, I'm sorry.

You are on busing and trash for the rest of the night.

And if I see you harass another guest, you're gone.

Okay, I was just-

- Serving yourself instead of crab cakes.

Yeah, I know.

And I'm getting complaints.

Look Logan, we all have our things.

Okay, my TikTok's blowing up,

but you don't see me talking about it.

That would be sad.

You cannot walk around talking about

some movie you wanna make some day.

Toni, I already made it.

Oh, congratulations.

Now you have time to take out the trash.

Tell me you have good news.

We got in.

I figured that's what this was about.

Okay.

Where, Sundance?

No, not Sundance, but better if you ask me.

So we didn't get into Sundance?

Jesus, come on already.

We have been officially selected to premiere our movie

at the Hollywilde International Film Festival of Cinema.

The what?

A festival in the forest reserves, cabin country.

The best kept secret in the biz.

You said better than Sundance.

They close deals there.

International distribution, Logan.

They want our premiere?

Yeah.

Fuck that.

We'll wait for something better.

We can't wait.

Okay.

We gotta pay our investors back, otherwise we're fucked.

Okay?

Also, I already accepted.

What?

We already agreed.

You are the show.

I am the business.

This is business.

You didn't even ask.

Because I knew that you were gonna-

- Fuck.

Okay, okay, okay.

Hey, you're okay.

Hey, you want an old fashioned?

Hey, can we get someone to get an old fashioned

for my friend please?

Fuck.

Logan, Logan, come here.

This is a win.

No, it's not.

This is a compromise, but that's all it ever is with me.

Right?

It's either a flat out no or a compromise.

I am so sick of watching everyone around me make it

while I serve them drinks.

This was supposed to be my ticket into the club

where producers asked me what I want to make next.

Have a blast.

They want the premiere.

So then why not give him the premiere?

Because it's the premiere.

It's like your only bargaining chip.

Yeah, but aren't they the only ones who've asked?

Was that offensive?

You don't get it, babe.

You're a lawyer.

Hollywood is cutthroat.

And these film festivals, they can make or break careers.

But if it doesn't work, that's it.

It's over.

It's like a house that's been on the market too long.

Nobody wants to buy that shit.

They're like something bad happened in that house.

I know something bad.

Somebody was murdered in that house.

And if I move in there, me and my family are next

because that house is cursed.

And that's-

- If there is only one offer on the table

and I have zero leverage and I'm desperate,

I take the offer.

Ugh.

I didn't mean it like that.

I know.

I feel like it was fair.

I'm not trying to be offensive.

Do you believe me?

Yes.

Really?

Yeah.

Sorry.

You don't have to be sorry.

Look, I think this movie has been holding us hostage.

It has and it's, you know, time to let it go.

Put it out into the world.

I feel like it's a chance to sell it.

I just thought I did everything I was supposed to do.

Let me in.

Let me get in here.

Look, the real reason I want you to go

is because I believe in you and I want you to be happy.

I really want people to like it.

Well.

There's only one way to find out.

Hey, Alex.

So I've been thinking it over a lot

and doing some research and yeah, definitely not going.

You fucking bitch.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Please continue on.

Are you serious?

No, look.

I can't find a single reason why we would go to this thing.

And I don't think I could stomach-

- You know what I cannot stomach?

Losing insurmountable amount of money on a movie

that will never see the light of day

because you can't humble yourself to accept a victory

unless it's the perfect fucking victory you created

- in your own fucking head. - I think we can do better.

Oh, you do?

Because I just got off the phone

with the festival director, Montgomery Nash,

and we are nominated.

We're in competition?

Oh yeah, that's right.

Best actor, screenplay, cinematography,

directing and best film.

Come on, they want you.

Man, you are the darling of this festival.

No, no, no, no.

Hey, don't do that.

It's gonna take this puppy to the next level.

Don't do that.

This isn't a scene in the movie where the friend tries

to convince the hero to go on an adventure.

You're the hero of the story?

You're not the hero.

I'm the hero.

No, I am the hero.

I am the hero.

That is so narcissistic to call yourself a hero.

I'm just a friend in the movie that is your life.

In my life, I'm the hero.

You're the friend.

We're all the heroes of our own journeys.

I'd be honored to play the friend

in any one of your movies.

Kyle, no.

Okay, here we go.

The world premiere of "Unknown Unknowns"

followed by a Q&A with writer, director,

producer, editor, and star Logan Clark,

producer Alexandria Davis,

and cinematographer Tomas Jonsson.

They spelled your name all foreign.

Yeah, the Swedish spelling has umlauts.

Also I'll be speaking with a slight accent

for the duration of the festival.

Like this right yeah so just all play along.

Yeah?

You want us to pretend you're Swedish?

I am Swedish.

Okay?

I did a DNA test and everything so it's legit.

All right?

What?

What?

Guys, listen.

My main source of income right now is renting gear.

I am fucking invisible because nobody cares

about 25 years of professional experience.

Now they hear I'm Swedish, I'm immediately qualified.

So.

My idols.

It does look better for the film.

Any mention of me in there?

No. Nobody cares about a production assistant.

Yeah.

It's Logan.

It's Alex.

It's me.

Then it's you.

You just touched the bottom of my shoe.

Yes.

It's like where the dog shit lives.

Clean up the dog shit.

Come on.

It's pretty nice here.

See, told you so.

Has an old timey kind of vibe.

Look at the way they shot

my bends over the mountains.

What I could shoot here with an ND9.

Well this is nice.

To be on a road that is not a road.

Goddammit.

So.

Left?

Right.

Are you saying that I'm right or to go right?

I'm not sure.

I think we can all agree that someone

has definitely been murdered at one of these places.

So be sure.

Okay, so open concept.

Ooh, also all the beds are bunk beds.

Surprise.

Ha.

Smart leaving that out.

I call top bunk unless any of you guys want it.

If it makes you feel any better,

I won't be sleeping here.

How's that?

Festival groupies, townies, hill people.

Half their reason to come is to come.

Don't say that to anyone else.

What, you never heard that saying?

It's actual saying.

Honestly, it's kind of nice.

Yeah, that's so great.

Are you doing that thing where you just agree

with everything I say, but you're actually working?

Man, that is so exciting.

Okay.

Wait, wait, wait.

I'm sorry.

I'm just so swamped.

You don't have to apologize.

It's all right.

I get it.

I'm excited for you.

Go get 'em.

I'm excited for you.

I love you.

And I'm so excited to see you on your big night.

Woo hoo.

I love you, too.

I'll see you in a couple of days.

Bye.

Bye.

You know what?

Use this one.

Hey, you want anything from the store?

I'm okay.

What the fuck is casual chic?

It's like something old, something new.

Hey, listen.

It doesn't matter what we wear

because the film speaks for itself.

Okay, when we're here, you're not a waiter.

I'm not a personal assistant.

You are the director and I am the producer

of a feature film, okay.

So you need to sell them like you sold me

when you cold called my boss and I picked up the phone.

Okay, so chin up, shoulders back and be cool.

Oh captain, my captain.

I would follow you to the seventh gate of hell.

Start by following me to this casual chic gala mixer.

Same thing.

♪ And time mean only spells ♪

I'm excited to work on next project.

Oh, the next project is so exciting.

It's probably our most ambitious one to date.

For sure, yeah.

Yeah.

So we had this one idea that we would do

just with one single continuous shot of a marathon.

Person running a marathon.

But we won't be using any trucks.

Hi, you here for the party?

It certainly would appear so.

Yeah, we have a movie here. Yeah.

"Unknown Unknowns".

He's the show.

I'm the business.

Welcome.

It's $20 a ticket.

20.

$20?

Per ticket.

There's a raffle later.

Oh, nice.

Shut up, Kyle.

Yeah.

All right.

Okay, now these are your entrance tickets.

These are your drink tickets.

And these are the raffle tickets.

Make sure you don't confuse your entrance tickets

with your raffle tickets.

Can I just give my entrance ticket

right back to you since I'm entering?

No, you're gonna give that to Gary.

Hey, man.

Hey, Gary.

Thank you.

Thank you, Gare bear.

♪ I know you can't be safe ♪

Drinks?

As soon as possible.

♪ Good times must come to an end ♪

♪ They wanna start ♪

A charred pineapple mojito?

I have whiskey.

This is gonna take an hour.

Yeah, that might be ambitious.

Oh.

Hello, hello and hello.

Welcome and good evening fellow artists.

My name is Montgomery Nash.

I am your humble director and founder of the 12th annual

Hollywilde International Film Festival of Cinema.

And it is my distinct honor and pleasure

to be here with you tonight staring

at all of your beautiful, smiling,

excited, and nervous faces.

Don't feel self-conscious about that.

I speak from personal experience

having directed seven independent films.

Thank you.

Now this is my favorite part of the festival.

The Genesis, the inception, the very beginning.

It's almost like the lights coming down in the house

before we roll reel one.

Anything can happen.

Anything will happen.

Lives will change.

I'd also like to thank all of you

for your generous voluntary ticket donation.

That was voluntary?

I'm gonna go get my money back.

Will help to contribute to my non-profit,

Friends of Nash, a program dedicated

to shepherding neurologically challenged filmmakers.

Thanks to all of you a differently abled filmmaker

will be able to shadow an actual feature film director

on an actual feature film set.

That being a set of my next independent feature,

"An Army of Juan" an original screenplay

that I recently penned to represent

the underserved Latin market.

Okay, enough about my charity.

Get this out of here.

Tonight is about all of you.

We only invite the best films.

Well, my money is halfway to Boca Raton now.

And with that, I would like to take

just a moment to share our nominees.

Winners will be announced at our awards ceremony,

which will be co-hosted by a secret celebrity guest.

Okay.

First up, "Black, Brown and Beige",

written and directed by Trey Busch and Rob Chambers,

nominated for best actor, best screenplay,

best cinematography, best directing and best film.

They must be our competition.

They don't look so tough.

Good old Hollywood.

"Unknown Unknowns", written and directed by

and starring Logan Clark and produced by Alexandria Davis

nominated for best actor, best screenplay.

They love us.

And best film.

Also really excited for these guys.

They literally just flew in from our sister festival.

Anyone here ever heard of Sundance?

Please try not to bombard them with questions.

It's "Obfuscate" by Sarah Kinsey, produced by Sean Ford,

nominated for best actor and actress, best screenplay,

best cinematography, best directing and best film.

Also proud to introduce this little guy

all the way from Omaha, Nebraska

with the world premiere of his film

shot completely on an iPhone six.

It's "Bubbles" nominated for best screenplay,

best cinematography, best directing.

Did he say cinematography?

I didn't catch it.

On an iPhone.

An iPhone six.

You know what?

Maybe it's beautiful.

I can guarantee you if it was shot

on a fucking iPhone six it's not fucking beautiful.

I thought you were Swedish.

Already banned in five states.

"The Red in the Middle" by Lexie Buff and Miranda Brown.

Straight from Nigeria Fela Akesi.

His film has subtitles.

Directed by Archibald and Remington Haddock.

Yes, they're from England and yes, they're here.

Documentarian and cancer patient Oliver Samson.

There he is right there.

This one's really important.

Nominated for best actor.

Nominated for best actress.

Nominated for best screenplay.

Best cinematographer.

For most acting in a film.

Best outtakes reel.

Nominated for.

I feel like I've said that a lot tonight.

Nominated for best directing and best film.

Everyone here is nominated.

Okay, so everyone's nominated along with us.

Don't forget, we're being recognized alongside

some very competent filmmakers.

You know what they didn't recognize?

Was the difference between capturing images in true 4K

with master prime lenses versus a point and shoot

consumer phone camera from 2014.

And I have a question.

Were there any wedding videographers in the competition?

I'd very much like to know if that was the case.

Would you please tell me what in cock's name is this about?

Fuck.

I just can't believe that I won the raffle.

Me, a lowly PA gets to be a special guest

on Montgomery Nash's podcast.

Wow.

Look, they tricked us into giving them the premiere.

Now, we gotta get the fuck outta here.

There's nothing for you in LA.

No, tell me what else you got going on, huh?

You?

I know you don't.

Exactly.

None of this changes the fact

that we still have the best movie here

and we still have the premiere

and there are a dozen buyers out there

just waiting to see a movie that we are all nominated for.

All that matters right now winning an award, making a deal.

We are so close to the finish line.

All we have to do is get people to the premiere.

So please.

I need your help.

All right.

Look, we're here.

Let's do it.

But if we are going to compete in this mid level festival,

we better win it all.

I'll pass out flyers.

Do not just hand out flyers.

You earn your place at this table.

You prove your worth to this film.

I understand.

Does anybody wanna see a free movie tomorrow?

This guy.

Do you guys wanna see a free movie tomorrow?

No, fuck off.

Okay, there you go.

Thank you.

No problem.

Have a good one.

Bye.

Hey, can I call you back?

Just going for a run on my treadmill.

Yeah, my dad bought it for me.

Work hard, play hard.

Hello.

Are you ready for a killer workout?

Who's this?

If you stop running, you die.

I'm watching you.

Help me.

You think this is a game?

I don't wanna die.

Dreadmill.

Let's see one of these movies here.

One of these movies?

At the Hollywilde International Festival of Cinema?

Our movie's one of these movies.

Yeah.

Isn't the point of being at a film festival

to see a bunch of movies?

Well, I'm a little busy right now.

Besides, the only picture I'm gonna see

at this shit show is "Bubbles" by widdle Max Titty Fuck.

Let's see "Black, Brown and Beige".

It starts in 20.

Is that the one about the white girl with a cool take

who finds out her dad had a bunch of secret families

of all different ethnicities

and she drives cross country to meet them

and finds out they're not so different?

Fuck, that is so indie.

Yeah, I'll see that.

You know, we all have the same dad.

When you think about it, every human has the same dad.

And mom.

People would just realize

that we're all brothers and sisters, we could end racism.

Racism.

Shit's loco.

♪ Brothers and sisters ♪

♪ Misses and misters ♪

♪ All different colors and all the same ♪

♪ You left our family ♪

Let's get the fuck out of here.

♪ And started more families ♪

Jesus Christ.

That song was the last straw.

I mean, how fucking terrible is it

that we have to leave early?

I know, but we have to so.

Oh, hey guys.

Hey.

Really great job.

Oh, thank you.

There's still like an hour left though.

Yes, but we actually have to go.

We have to go do an interview for our movie so.

Who with?

- Friends of film. - The Jewish.

The Jewish friends of film.

It really like bums me out when I see artists

who are like I'm just here for my movie.

You know?

I don't care about the other work.

I care, man.

And I support your work, honestly.

I just think maybe it wasn't for me, you know.

- Maybe he just didn't get it. - Oh.

You didn't get it.

It's not for everyone.

It's fine.

Okay.

Listen, I don't want to lie to you guys.

All right.

You seem super chill, but that was hard for me to watch.

I mean the handheld was unmotivated and all over the place.

It was like the whole movie took place

during a two hour earthquake.

The framing was super tight.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, not like that.

Sorry. Do you even know your characters?

Because to me they just seem

like stereotypes you use to pander

and not even for comedy, which is even more offensive.

I will say your Hispanic character

was very obviously an Italian man.

Oh yeah, Giuseppe.

I dated him for awhile.

He's so talented, right?

He can play every race.

Oh no.

Okay.

I'm just saying don't make

what you think people want to see.

Make what you want to say.

Plus you broke the 180 like 24 times.

One man's opinion, you know.

Sure, but it's also-

- Yeah and rules are meant to be broken.

I mean, that's the first rule.

A lot of our work is based on that principle.

Yeah, but you should know the rules that you're breaking.

Yeah, no doubt.

No doubt.

Hey, your movie is, what is it called?

"Unknown Unknowns".

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah.

So we're reviewing all the films at the festival

for our blog Fest and Furious.

You've probably heard of it.

We have like 1500 subscribers.

I bet your movies like perfect.

I can't wait to review it.

You can't talk to your fellow filmmakers that way.

I don't think you can call what they make film.

What is this place?

Jesus, there's a bird in here.

Acting.

It is the single hardest thing

that anyone can choose to do with their lives.

This showcase is a brain child of yours truly

and it is something that I have used

to cast three of my very own feature films.

So I hope that it provides all

of you artists with the spark necessary

to turn your special project into an inferno.

Oh.

And there goes a little campfire in the wind right now.

Sweet fuck.

Who's this fucking fuck kid?

And talented actress who stars

in the film "Black, Brown and Beige",

which just premiered over at the rustic.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Marcy Bloom.

I need a drink.

You all are so nice.

It makes me nervous.

Oh blah.

So I recently discovered a movie from way back in 1994.

It was a time when women weren't yet afforded

the opportunity to play awe inspiring roles

that really test the limits of our craft.

Man, she is amazing.

Easy, kiddo.

Don't fall in love with an actress.

I'm not.

You better not.

You read the Bible?

Well, I got this passage memorized.

Just out of curiosity.

Why not?

Because you can never truly have their love.

Never.

How come?

They have been taught to believe

that their brand is their self and like any corporation,

there's always a bottom line.

They are their own commodity.

You know it's not unlike prostitution

except you know without the sex part.

Finally.

Isn't that kind of sexist though?

Dude, male actors are just as bad.

Oh, if not worse.

If they're working, they're convinced

that anything they do might mean they never work again.

And if they're not working, they have no self-worth.

Naturally they wanna be leaders and providers.

But in reality, they have no control over anything.

So they try to control their relationship.

It's exhausting.

I get it, so just date outside the industry.

Eh.

They never really understand.

Well then.

What am I supposed to do?

When I strike my vengeance upon you.

There you go.

Clap.

Thanks everyone.

Excuse me, I'd like.

Have you ever heard the proverb art comes not from the dues,

but from the artist?

I prefer this one.

I don't understand.

Walk softly, carry a big stick.

Yeah.

So you're the guy that shot "Unknown Unknowns"?

Yes, that's correct.

I am.

I know you're not from Sweden.

You talk crazy kid.

You're a crazy talker.

Your brain is filled with crazies.

Yeah.

You could change your website,

but you can't change the internet.

Who's the poser now?

Who's the poser, he says?

He's a crazy person.

Someone's led a crazy person out.

Tiny crazy.

Goddammit.

Can I get a fucking whiskey please?

I'ma grab a beer.

You want one?

Sure.

Okay.

Ooh.

Hey, can I borrow your credit card?

Yeah.

My identity's been stolen.

That's the reason.

That sucks.

You okay?

Ugh, I'm stressed.

You know, I'm stressed about tomorrow.

Stressed about getting people to the premiere.

Stressed about selling this thing.

Just kind of.

I know.

We'll pound the pavement tomorrow.

Okay.

I'ma go get those drinks.

Okay.

Thank you.

You wanna see a movie tomorrow?

Nah, I'm good.

Do the nominators even know the differences

between the color sensor and auto focus smart?

Designed to fit your pocket.

And the craft and the care

that goes into creating 15 stops of dynamic range.

I went to film school and I don't even understand it.

Fuck everybody.

Excuse me.

Hey.

Hi. Yeah, I don't want to be a dick,

but you guys were kind of dicks first

by covering all our posters with your posters.

Yeah, what the fuck?

Fucking.

Kyle.

Yeah, but you told me specifically-

- Not to cover anyone else's posters.

Sorry, guys.

PA. I'm sure he didn't mean any offense.

Yeah, we get it.

It's the hustle, right?

Yeah.

I'm Logan.

Yeah, I remember.

I'm Sarah.

Max.

Tomas Jonsson, director of photography.

It's our DP Tom.

Tomas.

Tomas.

Nominated.

Also from Sweden.

Wow.

Bergman.

It's cool you're out here hitting the streets.

I mean, considering Sundance.

Sundance doesn't mean shit.

Really?

Not unless you have Ryan Gosling in your movie.

I mean, yeah, we have agents now

and solid TBTs on Insta for like a year,

but no distribution, no financing for our next film.

You got to hunt for your own food.

We're headed to this masterclass.

Y'all wanna join?

Montgomery Nash's guide to the cinematic landscape.

Sounds cringe.

Isn't that kind of the point of film festivals?

A place for filmmakers to exchange and enhance ideas.

Otherwise we could just send links.

I mean, plus we could actually learn something.

Cinema.

Cinema!

The landscape is changing before our eyes

as fast as Peter O'Toole blew out a match

and made an entire desert appear before our eyes.

As fast as a single cut.

The blink of an eye.

That was "Lawrence of Arabia" is the film I was referring to

with the match thingy there.

I know there's some younger artists

that's part of our masterclass today,

not that that excuses you from knowing your history.

The future is now.

And that future is the self-contained horror slash thriller.

It can be either really so long

as it is limited to one little location.

A jukebox.

A tractor tire.

Tiny.

I can't actually do this.

I'm freaking out.

I'm gonna stay.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm interested to see how far he can actually take this.

Quick exercise.

Please share with me some little places

you could trap two women in.

Anyone.

Yes.

Okay, I don't know what that is, but it sounds foreign,

which is important for the foreign film markets.

Anything else?

An automatic pool cover.

I'm sorry, no, you can't.

You can't do that.

It's already a movie.

I actually reviewed it for my website.

Oh.

A website.

Now that.

That is forward thinking.

Never been done before.

So as you can see, it could be just about anywhere.

Ooh, I don't know.

How about a wooden box?

Sheila, Jen, come on up.

Escaping.

Busted.

Yeah.

I guess self-contained horror

slash thriller films aren't really my thing.

Yeah.

Me neither.

It's like, I'm glad you guys stretched a buck,

but I'm still paying full price.

So take me somewhere.

Just be a play.

You know?

Hey, can I bum one of those?

Yeah.

Thanks.

There you go.

You good?

Yeah.

Altitude has got me, I think.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I'm Logan, by the way.

I know who you are.

I'm Kim Lincoln.

Yeah, I forgot.

We were all introduced when everyone was nominated.

Yeah.

God, it's bullshit, isn't it?

What is?

This whole festival.

It's just a bunch of self-proclaimed artists

in a circle jerk.

Man, this is about to get real weird.

What is?

This relationship.

How so?

I'm the senior programmer of the circle jerk so.

Fuck.

Mm hm, yeah.

I am so sorry.

It's okay.

That sucks.

You're fine.

I think the festival experience is all about perspective.

You know, I really liked your film by the way.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I bet you say that to all the filmmakers.

Yeah, I do.

No.

I loved it.

Your balance between humor and drama was quite elegant.

It's like you managed to capture this raw humanity

while still allowing us to crack up at the brevity of life.

Very John Cassavetes meets Sophia Coppola.

That's like exactly what I was going for.

Senior fucking programmer, dude.

Are you okay?

I don't smoke.

I don't smoke.

I don't know why I thought that'd be good, but it was not.

It did not good.

You good?

Yeah, I'm good.

You know, can I make an observation?

You seemed jaded.

Please, don't hold back.

I can take it.

Be honest with me.

No, it's just like you made one feature.

You already seem exhausted.

One feature and 27 shorts.

Great.

I mean, why'd you become a filmmaker?

I don't know.

I can't tie it to one thing.

I guess, because I grew up in the golden age of indie films.

Well so did everyone else that you grew up with.

Yeah, but for my friends,

making movies was just something fun

to do on the weekends, but I was obsessed.

God, I hate fucking talking like this but making movies

helped me understand the world

and I hoped would help the world understand me a little bit.

So, I went all in.

And I did it just in time for no one to care.

God, boo hoo.

Do you like your movie?

Yeah.

Then what the fuck does it matter what anyone cares?

I mean, you made one, Logan.

You added to the culture.

Well, 'cause it's my career.

And the movie's tied entirely to my identity.

And.

And if I don't make it, what else is there for me?

You wanna know a secret?

There's no such thing as making it.

Even when you're there, you're never there.

It's always gonna be one step out of reach

and that's the way it should be.

Besides, by the time you have a ton of money in the bank,

you're gonna feel like a hack, so fuck it.

I was an executive at a studio

that killed everything I loved about movies.

I actually just came out here

to do mushrooms with my friends, which was magical,

but then a week turned into a month

and cut to seven years later.

Instead of cut to, can we dissolve to?

You're so dumb.

Anyway, I love it here.

I mean, plus the fest allows me to keep movies in my orbit.

Nash and I are expanding into more production, too.

Sounds like you got everything you want.

The dating scene could use a little help.

Anyway, this is my place.

Oh wow.

It's a nice place.

Yeah, gets the job done.

I've got a hot tub.

So, big premiere tonight.

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I'm excited.

You should be.

I am, yeah.

Should actually probably go get ready for that.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, cool.

Well, thanks for walking me.

Yep.

But don't smoke any more cigarettes.

I won't.

Okay.

All right, Logan.

I'll see you tonight.

See you tonight.

Should probably get moving

- if you wanna get there. - Yup, yup.

Dude, suck her dick.

Okay, well we had a nice chat.

Okay, but literally suck her dick.

She can get us a trophy.

Hey, where you been?

We gotta go soon.

I watched "Bubbles".

The whole thing.

The little kid movie?

Jesus, it was that bad?

No.

It was good.

Absolutely.

Hello?

You can't hate me, okay?

You don't sound like you're in a car.

Because I'm still at the office.

Really?

I'm so sorry, but they're making me first chair.

I have to be here to present in the morning.

Okay.

I know it sucks.

It's all right.

I love you.

Yeah, I love you, too.

Hey, what's up?

Amy can't come.

Oh, damn.

You okay?

Yeah.

Let's do this.

Okay.

Hey, you guys ready?

I'm so pumped.

Kyle, no.

Chill, man.

Do not embarrass us.

Okay.

What the fuck?

What?

I created a job.

It's a win-win.

Hey.

You excited?

Are you excited?

I mean.

This is the premiere.

It's the first time people are gonna see it so.

Yeah.

Okay, everybody.

I am told there will be press at the red carpet.

Play it cool.

It's more like a red welcome mat.

Filmmaker badges.

Hey, let's grab some pics and video.

I gotta check with the projectionist.

Should I also do an interview

since I have a speaking role?

Kyle, if you say one word, I will throw you into traffic.

Okay.

I'm Allison.

I'll be interviewing you.

Hey.

Hi.

Logan Clark, writer, director, actor.

Oh.

Cool.

I'm also an actress.

So if you ever wanna collaborate.

Thanks.

Sure.

I'll give this to my producer.

Oh, you know what?

One for each and an extra.

- Oh. - Have a ball with them.

- Thank you. - Thank you so much.

Allison Sharp here with writer, director, actor,

producer, editor, Logan Clark.

What else do you do?

I bake.

Not really.

That was, sorry.

I was joking.

Okay.

Sorry.

Now I hear you really let it all hang out in this film.

Full frontal nudity.

Whoa.

Yeah, but it's not intended as shock humor

so much as our heroes-

- You.

Maybe I should be interviewing you.

You.

My character's expression of his freedom and fearlessness

and his rejection of societal norms.

Yes.

But also it's funny.

Well, it is a penis.

That's true.

So what's your movie about?

And why do you think people want to see it?

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I guess the movie is about what happens

when your dreams meet reality.

Oh, kind of like those memes, expectation versus reality.

I don't know.

Oh, okay.

Well, so like I did this insta post about "Dirty Dancing".

So what I did is I pulled from JLo's booty shake video

to show what I think I look like and then get this.

A dog humping a pillow for what I really look like.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, like that.

Like that or like expecting to be able

to talk about your movie but in reality,

being told about someone else's memes.

What the hell was that?

I don't know.

It was like an episode of "Black Mirror".

Is my face bleeding?

No, no, no.

No, you're fine.

You are fine.

Okay listen, your movie is about to premiere

in front of an audience that loves movies.

And I mean, it's just dying to laugh.

Stop giving me tickets.

There's no reason for these tickets.

These tickets don't mean anything.

God, she's so nice.

I really want to date her.

Are you sure I'm not allowed?

I cannot give advice right now.

There's too much on the line.

Okay.

There are a lot of people here.

The projectionist has his head up his ass.

I didn't have time to QC.

So we have no idea how it's gonna look and sound?

It's the middle of the festival.

I'm sure it's fine.

Logan, sh.

The format's off.

What?

It's cropped a little.

Fuck.

It's scaled to about 110%.

I can't even tell.

No, he's right.

We need to stop it.

Or we're gonna have a lot of unintended haircuts.

No one can tell but the two of you.

It is going great.

You're gonna kill it.

I'm gonna set the building on fire.

No.

They're into it.

My hands are so sweaty.

It's okay, it's okay.

I'm sorry.

Sh.

They don't sell those in singles.

That is your penis.

Yes, it is.

I don't know what a Frenchie is.

How about a rum and Coke?

Thanks for coming.

Thanks for being here.

- Great film. - Thank you.

Hey.

Hi.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Was even better on the big screen.

Right?

It's like night and day.

I know.

Hey, do you have plans for lunch tomorrow?

No.

Great, because I got you a sit down

with a hot shot producer over at Disney.

She's a friend of mine.

She saw the film.

She said she might have some work to throw your way.

You're the best.

Yeah.

- That's amazing. - I know.

And the flower growing out of the crack in the pavement.

Come on.

That's like my new "Garden State".

Oh, wow.

Yeah, that's also a movie.

Can you please get us an interview with Logan?

Oh, of course.

- Oh. - Ah, thank you.

Seriously, great job.

Skol.

What lens package did you use?

Haag and Dorf.

It's the guys I stole the glass patent from.

Yeah, I don't know who those guys are,

but they sound pretty dope.

BT dubs, your shit looked bad ass.

Well, thanks, man.

I wanted to tell you that I saw your movie, too,

and I think you have an amazing eye.

That's nice of you to say.

If you set it with a real accent, I might believe you.

I mean it.

What you did with available light,

felt like watching "Barry Lyndon" or "The Long Goodbye".

And you did it just with a consumer CCD and iMovie.

I mean, you were like tin cup with a seven iron.

Your references are old as fuck, bro.

Hey, brilliant work was done way before you were born.

Somebody should do their homework.

I'm talking the criterion collection, little man.

And old fucks like myself, you can still learn a lot from us

and old folks could probably learn a lot from you, too.

Like for real though, you need to focus

on more than just movies.

What's that?

I made like eight features on my phone.

How much longer is this format

of storytelling gonna be a thing?

I'm worried about the next generation.

What's the next?

Like four year olds?

Fuck yeah, four year olds.

I mean, they're growing up on VR and AR, CYOA.

- Choose your own adventure. - Your own adventure.

Hey, there he is.

Mr. Director.

Hey, this guy.

Listen, I just wanted to let you know,

this is my favorite film of the festival.

Really?

Absolutely.

Truly it is. I mean, this is the kind of film

that I started this festival for.

That means so much, man.

Let me guess.

You got rejected by all the other fests.

Yeah, pretty much.

You know why that is, right?

It's 'cause you scare them.

I'm okay with that.

I mean, since when did it become so scary to scare people?

I mean, they're just intimidated by your talent.

Trust me, I know what that's like.

Yeah, man.

I knew we nominated you for a reason.

God, you're gonna make me cry.

Ah, come on.

You deserve it.

And listen, don't tell anybody I told you this,

but I'm fairly certain you'll be heading home

with some hardware in your luggage this week.

Thank you, Mr. Nash.

Stop that.

My friends call me Monty.

Logan.

Amy.

You got drunk, didn't you?

I got very drunk.

Yes, I did.

You wanna go to bed and just call me in the morning?

No, no, wait.

Hold on.

I called for a reason.

Oh.

Hey.

No, I just.

I wanted to say I'm really bummed you didn't make it.

You really let me down.

What?

No, no, no.

No, it's whatever.

It's whatever.

I just try and communicate.

They really liked it.

They liked me.

And I wish you could have been there.

I'm really sorry.

I really wanted to be there,

but I couldn't get away from work.

I called you.

And it was a big deal for.

Logan.

Pancakes are ready.

Everything's fine.

It's all good.

Ah.

Yeah.

I'm gonna need that fuel for my meeting

with that producer at Disney.

Oh hell yes.

I heard.

Man, we are putting the wild and Hollywilde.

Hey.

I don't have a plate.

Kyle will eat it.

Man, you do not get bigger than Disney.

I know and they have a record of putting indie directors

at the helm of huge franchises.

"Super" to "Guardians of the Galaxy".

"Cop Car" to "Spider-Man Homecoming".

"What We Do in the Shadows" to "Thor Ragnarok".

"Swingers to "Iron Man".

Yeah.

No well, Favreau didn't direct "Swingers".

He directed "Made" and then "Elf"

and then "Jumanji", "Kids in Space".

"Zathura".

Why do I know that?

Yeah.

And then "Iron Man".

Hey, I just got off the phone with Nash.

Is anyone eating that?

Nope.

All you.

Anyway, he wants you guys to come

to the podcast recording.

The what?

The podcast.

The raffle.

The grand prize I won.

Sorry, can't do it.

Got lots of meetings.

♪ Gonna sell our movie to the highest bidder ♪

Sure, I'll go.

Really?

What is he?

♪ Talk direct ♪

♪ Script perfect ♪

♪ Shot lists select ♪

♪ Independent project ♪

♪ Sets erect ♪

♪ Cable connect ♪

♪ Coach dialect ♪

♪ Command respect ♪

♪ You're the architect ♪

♪ It's your subject ♪

♪ It's on you to protect ♪

♪ Don't let it get wrecked ♪

♪ Wrap gate checked ♪

♪ Edit effects ♪

♪ Color correct ♪

♪ Master eject ♪

♪ Talking direct with Montgomery Nash ♪

♪ It's my podcast ♪

♪ I'm Montgomery Nash ♪

♪ It's time to reflect ♪

♪ There's a lot to rehash ♪

♪ So buckle your seatbelt to prevent whiplash ♪

♪ I'm Montgomery Nash ♪

You're listening to Talk Direct with Montgomery Nash.

I am your host, Montgomery Nash,

and our guest today hails all the way

from sunny Los Angeles, California.

He's part of the film crew of "Unknown Unknowns",

which just had its world premiere here

at the Hollywilde International Film Festival of Cinema.

It's wonderful to welcome the winner

of our Friends of Nash raffle.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Kyle the PA.

Thank-

- You know, Kyle, as a director myself,

I know how thankless, seemingly useless,

and basically shitty your job can be as a PA.

And yet it's still vital.

Wouldn't you say so, Logan?

I don't have a mic.

Well tell you what.

Why don't you just?

Why don't you to just partner up shotgun here to your buddy?

Bring that.

Tell you what.

Just grab that apple box and set it up New York style

and we'll have a little conversation with you.

Yup, see this gentleman knows exactly

what I'm talking about.

He knows his way around a set

because this is the director, writer, producer, editor,

and star of "Unknown Unknowns".

Please welcome to the podcast Logan Clark.

- Thanks for having me. - Me too.

Logan, what three directors would you say

that you most pattern yourself after?

That's always a tough question.

Probably Scorsese-

- Nope.

The correct answer is no one.

You see, in order for a filmmaker to truly find his voice,

he must fail miserably and then find his voice in the wake.

Oh, wow.

- Okay. - Listen up, Kyle the PA.

This applies to you, too.

You know, we all fail, but we must never give up.

That's what they want us to do and every no

is just that much closer to a yes and you know here

at the Hollywilde International Film Festival of Cinema,

films come to life and I'll tell you this much

to anybody listening to the sound of my voice right now.

If I were a betting man, I'd bet it all

on "Unknown Unknowns" selling big

and saving independent cinema.

Indie comedies are dead.

I loved your film.

I really did.

The voices are strong and raw.

And the images.

I mean, wow.

You guys should be proud.

But there just isn't much we can do with it.

I mean, if there's no explosion every six minutes,

I can't sell Russia or China.

Boom right there.

That's half of your market.

There is the runaway chance that this has a sweeping run

in the western markets, US and Europe.

Japan for some reason.

We include them.

You look at the research, the likelihood of your film

performing in any of these markets

is basically null and void if you don't have Ryan Gosling.

If you don't have Emma Stone.

We need both Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.

Because at the end of the day,

we aren't selling a movie, we're selling a poster.

We're selling a trailer.

We're selling Coca-Cola.

No one gives a fuck if your movie sucks.

There are only five genres that really sell.

Female-driven thriller.

Any action movie where the poster

has a guy with a gun in it.

Family movies with a talking dog.

Any western with like an old white guy

and like a cool black guy.

Baby adoption kidnapping thrillers all day.

Unless it's the best film since "Pulp Fiction",

the market serves one purpose.

Butts in seats.

That's it.

Can I fill 2000 screens worldwide?

And if I can't do that, can I convince to 10 million people

to spend 3.99 to watch it in the next five years?

If you're missing any of those ingredients, our answer's no.

We're gonna have to pass.

I wish you luck, but that's gonna be a no for me.

If the world wanted micro-budget,

introspective journeys by unknown auteurs,

then I would buy it, but they don't, so no.

We'd love to add it to our library.

Really?

That is such great news.

Oh.

How much were you thinking?

Oh, zero.

I mean like guaranteed upfront.

Yeah, zero.

$0.

American.

To me, the real turning point

was Favreau directing "Iron Man".

I mean, that was a stroke of genius.

You already have all of the previous.

Now let's bring the characters to life.

And I love that you guys have been running with that.

I mean, Taika, gun, Watts.

It's amazing instinct.

Well, I appreciate that, Logan.

I mean, it's not exactly my department,

but I'll pass it along.

Well, so what have you been working on?

Oh, well I just finally got a green light

after fucking three months of begging

to adapt this Amy Forrester novel.

"Equity"?

Yeah.

It's my favorite book.

No kidding.

I have read it like 12 times.

Wow.

Well, we had Fincher attached for awhile, but to be honest,

he and the studio don't exactly see eye to eye so.

Well, I would absolutely love to be considered.

For what?

To make your movie.

For.

Oh, for "Equity"?

Yeah.

To direct it?

I thought that's what we were talking about.

I'm sorry.

Kim said this was about future projects.

Oh.

No.

No.

I've got Inarritu attached to direct.

Locked that down last week.

No, but for you.

I've got this.

Jackal.

Yeah, I have this little side project.

Deals mostly with online marketing strategies

and I would like to bring you in

to be our signature director.

13 spots, six seconds a piece, 500 bucks a pop.

What do you say?

Bourbon apple sangria.

You fucking serious?

Cool flick.

That scene with the cereal bowl full of crickets.

I was so confused.

We loved that.

I was like, what is happening?

We loved that.

I mean, this is my favorite film.

This is my favorite film of the festival.

I wouldn't be surprised if you guys are heading home

with some hardware in your luggage this week.

My friends call me Monty.

He kisses everybody's ass.

That's his style.

You know, I really thought for a minute there.

What?

That he liked your movie the best?

Yeah.

Well he did, but he also liked the Sundance movie the best

and the British one and the Nigerian one.

I mean, every movie Nash sees at his festival

is his favorite movie.

It's the nature of the beast.

Onto the next, which is really where your head should be.

I mean, what do you want to do next?

A show?

Another movie?

Me.

Hey.

Can we talk?

Hey Alex, this is Kim.

- Kim, Alex. - Oh, hey, great to meet you.

She's head a programming.

Oh hey, so nice to meet you.

I really appreciate being here.

It's okay.

Great meeting you.

Hey, before we get too loaded, I may have some news.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, man.

Hey, man.

You're from that TV place?

Okay man, sorry.

You interrupted my friend here.

Let me guess.

You drove from the TV place in your Mercedes-Benz.

The TV place.

Do you mean LA?

Oh, oh.

I'm sorry, Mr. Hollywood Elite.

My bad.

No, I think you're fine, man.

Look, I feel like it's important that you know I'm not rich.

Okay?

I don't do that for a living.

I serve people food.

And I eat out of a can more than my cat does.

How long have you been knowing my friend Kim, hm?

Oh.

A day.

Not long enough.

Sorry.

He's the local town idiot being protective.

Blade, he's all right.

Wait a minute.

Your name is Blade?

Is that real?

Like from a baby?

Baby Blade.

Hey, let's not poke the bear.

We have a problem here?

Is that what's going on?

Oh, okay, man.

Listen.

Listen.

My only problem is that you are a walking cliche

and your choices are obvious.

Like if you were auditioning

for the role of local town bully

in a movie that I was casting,

I would ask you politely to tone it down.

This is too much, man.

It's like you saw "Back to the "Future" once

and you were like fuck yeah Biff,

but don't get me wrong, man.

I love a good bully.

I mean, you got Ace Merrill, John Bender,

even Johnny Lawrence, man, but you.

You're more of an O'Doyle.

You're like Deebo.

You are a deductive, an original device

that I have seen thousands of times over.

And I don't know if it's the beer or just my words,

but let me make it simple for you.

You are underwritten.

Ow.

Blade, what the fuck?

Ow.

How would you shoot that?

That.

Dirty overs and a wide.

Not too cutty.

Get into the action.

Close.

Too close.

Buzz critical focus to feel the inebriation.

How are you only 15 years old?

I spent most of my life looking at screens.

Poor parenting makes the best artists,

but seriously, where the fuck are your parents?

Who fights at film festival?

No.

Can you call that a fight?

At least Logan shamed him

with all those encyclopedic references to cinema.

Shamed him enough for him to abandon his words.

Yeah.

Okay.

This is us, so thank you, Kim.

Oh, no problem.

Tomorrow I'll introduce you to some drunker, bigger guys.

Hey, you sure we can't offer you a ride home?

I'm gonna walk.

All right, cool.

Hey, say good night, Logan.

I was actually thinking

that Logan might wanna walk me home.

Maybe another time.

Man, I thought you guys wanted to win.

Kidding.

You really got us.

Yeah, that was funny.

Good night, Kim.

It was real nice meeting you.

You, too.

Hey, maybe they'll have an award for most boring.

Have a good night.

Are you serious?

She's got a weird sense of humor.

No, no, no, not her. You.

Maybe another time?

You told me to suck her dick.

Not literally.

You literally said literally.

I didn't do anything.

Just drop it.

What'd you want to tell me?

How could I forget?

Oh, that's right.

Violence.

We may have a buyer.

Seriously?

Yeah.

Yeah, they love the movie.

They're a free streaming app

and all they wanna do is change the ending,

crop out the nudity and chop it into 10 minute vignettes

so they can sell online ads.

Okay.

So obviously you told them to fuck off.

Hang on.

What?

No.

Okay.

No way.

Okay, this is a real offer from the real world.

It's a deal.

Yeah, for them.

Fuck.

Did you even call anyone else?

Where do you think I have been all day?

I called every distributor in the world.

All my meetings today were a bust.

No one offered any money upfront.

This is our best and only offer.

So once again I'm left with a choice

that's not really a choice because you're the business.

The business of killing art.

Hey, you know what?

Your art.

It doesn't come to life without me securing money

and contracts and locations and equipment

and a fucking vegan option for your actress.

Killing art.

You think I'm in this for the money?

I am fucking broke.

You had your identity stolen.

You'll get your money back.

It happens all the time.

No, no, no.

I am busted.

Okay.

Because all the money from investors,

it just it never came through.

So all of this money is all debt.

It is all credit cards.

It is all loans.

I am in the red.

I am like deeply hemorrhaging red.

So if this doesn't work out,

then you might feel bad about yourself, but I am fucked.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because we were.

We were two weeks away from production.

I felt like I failed you.

I've never done this.

I've never successfully raised money for a movie.

No one takes me seriously, not even you.

Yeah, I do.

No, you do not.

You have never respected my opinion,

despite the fact that I am always looking out for you.

Give me one example.

Okay.

Your dick.

What?

In the movie.

Look, a guy's dick is only funny

if it is like pathetically small or impossibly humongous,

and in the context of your character being depressed,

the dick should have been resting on the balls.

But no, there is clearly a gap

between the dick and the balls.

And I remember telling you.

I said, Logan, you are fluffing it too much,

but oh no, no, your ego has to come before the movie.

So now the audience is left confused

and I'm left with a movie that is way less marketable,

but hey, you know, at least your wee wee

looked above average for all the festival groupies.

Everything is all about you.

And you know what?

I actually, I don't mind playing second fiddle to you,

but for once I would like some respect.

I would like some credit

because you never even said thank you once,

you selfish fucking prick.

Hey, where are you going?

None of your business.

Oh, you gonna go fuck that nice lady now?

I no longer require your personal assistance.

You're being an asshole to both of them.

Hey, bud.

How you doing?

How can I help you?

Can I get that bottle of Oak Ridge and a box of condoms?

That's a fun combo, man.

Is that a magnum you're looking for?

You know what?

I already have some magnums.

So if you could just do the regular ones,

that's probably that's good for me.

I got options then.

Right.

Hey, Logan.

What's up?

YOLO, right?

Oh.

Yeah, but you were going home.

I guess I changed my mind.

Okay.

You did invite me over, right?

Yeah, I did, but you shot me down,

so I asked somebody else.

Really?

Look, I'm just trying to have a little fun.

I mean, between this and the music festival,

I only get to feast twice a year.

I'm fucking with you, Logan.

But yeah, seriously.

Sorry.

Understood.

Okay.

Well I'm probably gonna.

Oh yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Have fun.

Oh.

Thanks.

Yeah, all right.

All right.

Well.

You piece of shit.

Come on.

Stupid.

Hey, can we just do apologies tomorrow, please?

Because you're not gonna believe

how excited I am for the award show tomorrow.

And now you're here?

What did you do?

What did Alex say I did?

Doesn't matter.

I see it on your face.

Why are you fighting?

You could've died.

Does it hurt?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for missing your premiere.

Wait, I don't understand.

How are you here?

I thought you had to present.

Oh, they settled.

I'll tell you about it later.

Let me get you some ice, okay.

That looks really bad.

I'm glad you're back.

Me, too.

Look, about earlier.

I know I'm a lot of work.

No shit.

But also I'm sorry that I lied.

I'm awake.

I'm sorry.

Jesus.

Come on.

I didn't know when it was a good time to leave.

I was waiting for a lull.

There was no lull.

Are you sure you don't want to stay for the award show?

Nah, I got to catch a flight to South Bay.

It was good meeting you, Tom.

Great meeting you, too, kid.

Max, try to read up on your history.

I will.

Try to keep up with the future.

Shit.

Shit.

Oh, fuck.

He's my best friend.

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the 12th annual

Hollywilde International Film Festival of Cinema award show.

It is my pleasure to introduce the founder

and director Mr. Montgomery Nash.

Thank you very much, Kim.

By the way, I should say that's not our music.

Kim is just so beautiful,

the music plays everywhere she walks.

Very, very, very, very beautiful woman.

Not that that's her only function as far as I'm concerned.

As an individual.

Women in film.

Well, I think right now would be a really good time for me

to bring up my super secret celebrity co-host

and dear personal friend.

Ladies and gentlemen, the legendary, the talented,

the beautiful Miss Rachel Leigh Cook.

Hey, she doesn't just have the music.

It looks like she brought her own

wrap around lighting package.

With the, you know.

Soft lighting is a gal's best friend and a person's.

Would you mind saying some words, Rachel?

Hi.

It's my first time here.

Oh, it's so beautiful.

I really wanted to come out as a proud supporter

of Montgomery's amazing charity, Friends of Nash.

And I gotta say I was pretty surprised

when he asked me to co-host tonight's award ceremony.

Not that surprised because we'd been speaking

as friends for a long time about it

because we are close personal friends and cohorts.

So, she knew.

And we're here so.

Is she like a player in independent films?

To all of the filmmakers.

Sh.

And your wonderful work.

And congratulations to you, Monty.

What you've done here is absolutely amazing.

Oh.

And your obvious passion for film is impossible to ignore.

Seriously.

So, thank you.

Rachel Leigh Cook, ladies and gentlemen.

Right here.

Rachel Leigh Cook.

Hey, she really is all that.

I get it.

Well, you know, it takes a lot

to put a festival like this together.

Believe me, I should know.

It's a lot of moving parts.

So before we go any further,

I would like to invite my staff

and all of our volunteers up here to share some thank yous

and say a few words individually,

one at a time individually.

I needed a break.

What's happening now?

Oh, they're showing that short doc

about a cancer survivor.

It's actually like super powerful.

I just like was not ready for it.

Oliver Samson, ladies and gentlemen.

Hey Ollie, you should keep the bald head.

Looks bad ass.

I've got to because of the chemotherapy.

I know that.

Why wouldn't?

Why wouldn't I know that?

Have a seat.

Okay.

Hey, a blessing in disguise some would.

Okay.

Now onto best cinematography.

You okay?

I'm really nervous.

It's like this actually matters to me or something.

That's a good thing.

Not if I lose.

Max Ferber.

Max, couldn't be here,

but he asked me to accept this on his behalf.

Remember his name because I believe we'll all

be working for him one day.

Max Ferber.

Oh by the way, I'm not Swedish.

But I am.

I just actually I pushed the envelope just a little bit.

We are all originally from Africa.

This is for Africa.

Thank you for this but I reject being labeled an actress.

I'm an actor.

If you were sick, you wouldn't go

to a doctoress now would you?

Who here saw my film?

You should see my film.

It's important.

People are dying.

Five fucking hours, still no awards.

This is it.

Best director.

This is you.

Well, I don't want to speak for Rachel Leigh Cook,

but I know that I can't hardly wait for this next category.

I'm not in that movie.

All right.

It's time for best director and don't worry, everyone.

I wasn't nominated this year.

The winner is.

Sarah Kinsey "Obfuscate".

This is so stupid.

I think I'm more upset that I actually care.

It's okay to care.

Try to remember what really matters.

You didn't almost kill yourself

making this movie for some award.

Making the movie was the award.

Remember all those nights you didn't

even wanna watch TV with me

because you were too excited to write

and then shooting in different places

and forgetting to eat and sleep

because you were too busy doing what you loved.

You took an idea from your brain

and you turned it into a thing.

You did that.

That's the prize.

You're right.

I don't need some fucking-

We won.

Get in here.

- What? - Best film.

We fucking won.

Oh my God.

- Best film, babe. Best film. - I forgot about best film.

I forgot about it.

I love you.

I love you.

Go, go, you go.

You gotta be there.

All right, all right.

Congratulations, Logan.

It's some of your best work.

Thank you.

Woo.

Congratulations.

Thank you, Rachel Leigh Cook.

Wow, I really was not expecting this.

Best film.

Jesus, I didn't realize how much this would affect me.

I came here thinking I was bigger than this festival.

I was critical and judgmental, but we are all so similar.

I mean, we're all here.

How many people here make a living making movies?

Yeah, we are not in competition with each other.

We beg, borrow, steal and do whatever it takes

to bring our story to life,

but none of us know what the hell is going on

or what's gonna get made or if it'll even work.

And then once we're done,

we don't know if anyone is even gonna see it,

and if they do, they don't wanna pay for it,

even though we are all broke.

I may be holding this award,

but everyone in this room is a winner.

We made something from nothing

and none of us did it on our own.

This award belongs to my director of photography.

Tom Jonsson, the best eye in the west.

This award belongs to and I cannot believe I'm saying this.

Kyle the PA, your presence on set was never not known.

But truly this award belongs

to Alexandria Davis, my producer,

but more importantly, my friend.

Without you, this movie would never have been made.

To making movies and hopefully figuring out

a more sustainable business model for making them.

Wow, what an incredible year for cinema.

Well, that's our show.

Goodnight, everybod...

Not so fast there, Mr. Nash.

The festival has one more award to hand out.

What?

What do you mean?

I don't have this reflected in my notes.

What's going on?

Well, this week has been all about the filmmakers

and not nearly enough about the festival's creator,

Mr. Montgomery Nash, so we would like to take this time

to recognize his incredible contribution with this,

the Hollywilde International Film Festival

of Cinema magnanimous award.

Okay, wow.

What?

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me.

Ollie, could you keep it down?

You know, Timothy Busfield is a mentor of mine.

Hey, hold this for one second.

I gotta go schmooze.

Have you seen Amy?

Logan.

Hey.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Hey, I didn't get to hear your speech.

We were having all these technical issues in the back,

but I wanted to say congrats.

Yes, I will accept that.

Okay, good.

Hey, look, I'm really sorry about what happened last night,

but if you wanted to come over later,

I was able to salvage some of those condoms

that I assume you spilled out by my trashcan.

Logan.

Logan.

Who is this?

Oh God, don't tell me.

This is-

- I'm Amy, Logan's girlfriend.

We live together.

Of course you do.

I didn't know.

Yeah, no, I know.

And that's, everybody.

There's a lot of how-

- You're unbelievable.

Amy, come on.

Amy.

I'm sorry.

Me, too.

Logan.

Go fuck yourself.

Amy, I swear nothing happened.

Condoms by her trashcan.

Okay, that happened.

Look, I was drunk, okay.

And I thought it would help the movie's chances.

She's senior programmer.

You must think I'm a total fucking idiot.

Nothing happened.

She was with somebody else.

Oh, so.

Oh, she rejected you.

And then you ripped up a box of condoms in a fit of rage.

- Look. - Got it.

Nothing actually happened.

Yes, Logan.

Something has been happening for a really long time

because you need validation to measure your worth.

You were already loved.

And winning this fucking trophy

from a festival you didn't even wanna

go to in the first place

is the first time I've seen you smile like that in.

I don't know.

Well, I like smiling.

So I'm done.

Okay, if we could just-

- You leave me alone or I'll fucking clock you.

Well, so the good news is this award-

- I don't care.

- What? - Sell it to whoever you want.

I don't care anymore.

Logan.

What are you doing?

I'm about to jackal off to this jerky.

Cut.

Hey, Logan.

Hey.

Real quick.

So am I supposed to be embarrassed that I got caught

or am I just so excited I don't even care?

Let's look at the sides.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah see, there's an exclamation point.

So does that mean I'm excited to jackal off?

Honestly, I'd just say it like,

this is gonna happen whether you watch me or not.

- Right? - Yeah.

Sounds good.

Can we make the door blue?

Yeah.

You got it.

Hello.

Hi, Amy.

It's me.

Can we talk?

Hey.

I just came down to tell you in person

that I'm filing a restraining order against you.

I know I've been calling a lot.

You've left me a voicemail

every single day for three months.

That's not romantic.

That's harassment.

Wait, hang on.

I love you, Amy.

And when we were together,

you were the only real thing I had

and at night at the festival I just,

I felt inadequate and I wanted to be validated.

And I am truly sorry that I had hurt you

in order to understand that.

I just.

I got so caught up in wanting to win, you know,

and wanting to be the guy.

The hero of my own.

It sucks because you became the villain in mine.

What's that?

That is a royalty statement.

People are finding are movie all over the world.

I made my money back.

That's great.

Yeah and making a movie that breaks even

is a huge success in this town.

And I used that to convince some real investors this time

to invest in a second feature with you directing.

So what do you say?

I don't know.

Yeah, okay, great. Let's get on the horn tomorrow.

Alex, I said I don't know.

Yeah, well I do know because this is our dream.

So what the fuck?

I.

I just gave so much of myself

to the first one and for what?

I don't think I can handle failing like that again.

Failing?

What'd you expect?

You swung for the fences, you got on base.

Most people don't even get a chance at bat.

Yeah, it's not failing.

It's growing.

Quitting is failing, you fucking baby.

You know, you used to be my goddamn hero.

Now you've proven all your worst fears to be true.

You are a hack and an egomaniac and a fraud.

What was that speech you gave

about wanting to be a part of something?

You just had a producer offer you a movie and you said no.

Why?

Because it's not fucking Judd Apatow?

Who gives a shit?

Yeah, I love Judd Apatow.

And I'd worked with him in a heartbeat,

but fuck trying to be somebody else or in their club.

Why don't you start your own club?

I'd love to be a part of that club.

Tom would love to be part of that club, too,

before he dies of old age.

Hey.

You have everything you need right here

and if you can't see that

or you don't have something you wanna say,

or you just want to make money, well then why don't you move

anywhere the fuck else and sell plastic?

Or better yet, you still got that award on you?

Yeah.

Why don't you sell these?

Okay.

Okay?

Yeah.

If all of you guys are in, then let's do it.

Okay.

What if we make a movie about a festival?

Nah.

- I don't think so. - That would never work.

No, 'cause showbiz movies, they don't work.

That's too inside baseball.

I mean, unless you literally had Ryan Gosling.

No, no, no.

About the film.

- What we just did. - Such a bad investment.

It would be a bad idea.

What was that?

I don't know.

I think I looked at the camera.

What is my line?

That's a good thing.

That's a good thing.

I was just-

- What?

Serving crab cakes instead of yourself.

No.

Cinema!

It's not just mayonnaise.

A big chunk just went down my throat.

Okay.

This is so ridiculous.

Okay, one more.

Prove your worth to this.

Okay, try it one more.

Fuck, it was good, too.

Yeah, that was great.

You got so excited.

I did.

We're reviewing all the films for our blog fest and.

We just started so we don't know.

Yeah, we don't know what it's called.

Allison Sharp here with writer,

producer, actor, editor, and.

Bop, bop.

Here I go.

That was even better on the brick screen.

You from that Hollywood?

You from that LA place?

Sorry.

My bad, dude.

Are there any radio?

Wedding videographers?

I have a question.

Were there any wedding?

Fuck.

I have a question.

Oh, I have a question.

Were there any widow?

Fuck.

Were there any wedding videographers?

Versus a point and shoot concern.

Fuck.

In true 4K with master pry.

Fuck, that's not it.

Versus a point and shoot consumer.

Fucking fuck.

Versus appointed shoot consumer fuck phone.

Fuck me.

Very much like to know that.

What the fuck is with?

Fuck it.

Plus the first allows me to kill.

Nope, gotta go back.

Goddammit, Dunbar.

Not too long ago I was working

on a medical supply commercial with Corbin Bernsen and he.

Quick story.

Couple of summers ago, I was standing in line

at an El Pollo Loco behind the dad from "Family Matters".

And I.

Not a lot of people know this,

but Suzanne Pleshette is my godmother and.

Why would I ever even care to even sit down and write that

and then ask so many people I care about

to come give up their days for a month

in the middle of the summer when the weather-

All right, let's cut that.

♪ Talk direct ♪

♪ Script perfect ♪

♪ Shot lists select ♪

♪ Independent project ♪

♪ Sets erect ♪

♪ Cable connect ♪

♪ Coach dialect ♪

♪ Command respect ♪

♪ You're the architect ♪

♪ It's your subject ♪

♪ It's on you to protect ♪

♪ Don't let it get wrecked ♪

♪ Wrap gate checked ♪

♪ Edit effects ♪

♪ Color correct ♪

♪ Master eject ♪

♪ Talking direct with Montgomery Nash ♪

♪ It's my podcast ♪

♪ I'm Montgomery Nash ♪

♪ It's time to reflect ♪

♪ There's a lot to rehash ♪

♪ So buckle your seatbelt to prevent whiplash ♪

♪ I'm Montgomery Nash ♪