Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,340
[Theme music]
2
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:18,269
Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:19,021
Come aboard.
4
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,518
We're expecting you.
5
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:35,121
And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow.
6
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,500
It floats back to you.
7
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:50,134
The love boat, soon we'll
be making another run.
8
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:59,056
The love boat, promises
something for everyone.
9
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:03,442
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
10
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:14,123
And love won't hurt anymore.
11
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:22,959
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
12
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,381
It's love.
13
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,961
Welcome aboard, it's love.
14
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,927
[Music playing]
15
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,419
Welcome aboard.
16
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:07,421
They're here!
17
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:08,802
They're here!
18
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:09,878
Oh, she's so cute.
19
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,383
Hi.
20
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,795
Come here, baby.
21
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:14,803
Come here.
22
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:16,394
[Grunting]
23
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:16,929
Come on, Shirley.
24
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,391
Vicki: Hi, Shirley.
25
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,221
Welcome aboard.
26
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,385
Shake hands?
27
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,354
Aw.
28
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,064
Didn't take you long to find
a friend, did it, Shirley?
29
00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:27,364
Well, unless
there's someone else
30
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:28,898
on board with a
seal named Shirley,
31
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,692
you must be Oscar tilton.
32
00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:31,315
Oh, you're Julie McCoy.
33
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,901
Yes.
Welcome aboard.
34
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:33,946
Thank you.
35
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:35,568
Hey, Shirley, say hello
to the young lady who
36
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:36,735
booked our act for this cruise.
37
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,743
[Grunting]
38
00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:43,909
If she doesn't get
paid on time, she sulks.
39
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,957
Like my agent.
40
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:46,580
Well, we've better get unpacked.
41
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,666
Come on, Shirley.
42
00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:49,171
We'll see you later.
43
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:58,178
Haven't I seen
them on television?
44
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,971
Yes, you have.
45
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:00,684
Miss--
46
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:01,353
Karen Hughes.
47
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,101
Ok.
48
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:03,982
Yes.
49
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:06,058
You're on the fiesta
deck, cabin 136.
50
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,064
Isn't he adorable?
51
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,856
Julie: Oh, the seal's
a she, miss Hughes.
52
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,729
Her name is Shirley.
53
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:13,737
I wasn't talking about her.
54
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:18,278
I was talking about him.
55
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,324
And I think that this could--
56
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:24,202
oh, no.
57
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:24,327
I'll see you later, gopher.
58
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:28,754
Welcome aboard.
59
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,293
Oh, I'm Hattie Williams.
60
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:32,547
And this is my grandson, Carl.
61
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,143
Let's see.
62
00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:44,348
You are in adjoining cabins on
aloha deck, cabins 130 and 132.
63
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,812
Is something wrong?
64
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,102
You don't get rowdy
or mean, do you?
65
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,306
No, why?
66
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:52,565
Well, it's just that i'd
have to be the one to stop you.
67
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:53,899
And I'd hate to be a failure.
68
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,743
Carl wouldn't hurt a fly.
69
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:03,029
Wasn't a fly I
was thinking of.
70
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,487
How do you do?
71
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:05,237
Welcome aboard.
72
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:05,908
Hello.
73
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,205
We're Mr. and Mrs. Rogers.
74
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:08,998
Which way to promenade 340?
75
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:09,792
Go up the stairs
and to your right.
76
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:12,504
Thank you.
77
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:15,455
Tell me, are there many
single girls on this cruise?
78
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:15,796
We do get quite a few.
79
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,220
Good.
80
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,588
I may need your help.
81
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:19,875
I want to find one
for my husband.
82
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,678
Harold, how about that one?
83
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,510
Harriet, stop it.
84
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:07,716
I'm not interested
in any other women.
85
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,387
I am happy with you.
86
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:12,055
But you're not going to
have me around much longer.
87
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,055
And I want to make sure you're
well cared for after I'm gone.
88
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,897
You're not going anywhere.
89
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,454
I know your mother passed
away at an early age, but--
90
00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,608
yes, and so did her
mother and her sister.
91
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,567
But that doesn't mean that
you're going to pass away.
92
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,237
Yes, it does, Harold.
93
00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:28,325
It's the curse of
the [inaudible]..
94
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,961
The men live forever, and the
women never make it to 45.
95
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,249
Harriet, only the
other day the doctor
96
00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:35,132
said that you were
in perfect health.
97
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:37,589
What does a doctor
know about curses?
98
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,710
Now, sit back and enjoy.
99
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:43,177
I've made a great
selection for you.
100
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,549
All you have to do is pick one.
101
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:01,739
Wait, wait, wait.
102
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,949
There's a customer over here.
103
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,200
Tell 'em the bar's closed.
104
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,246
What's the matter with Isaac?
105
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,040
You know what I think?
106
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,082
What?
107
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,415
I think he's afraid of
that big guy over there.
108
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,171
Well, if you have to
be afraid of someone,
109
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:19,463
I guess he's a good choice.
110
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:27,137
[Grunting]
111
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,180
What's the matter, Shirley?
112
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,102
[Grunting]
113
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,270
Oh, i'm-- I'm sorry.
114
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:34,309
Sorry, I just wasn't watching.
115
00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:35,103
How's that?
116
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:35,976
Any better?
117
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,272
[Grunting]
118
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,105
You should gargle.
119
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,118
Hi.
120
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,408
I'm Karen Hughes.
121
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,832
Oh, hi, Karen.
122
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:51,950
I'm-- I'm Oscar tilton.
123
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,656
That's Shirley.
124
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:53,786
Hi, Shirley.
125
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,705
I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
126
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:05,165
I just thought you might like
to talk to a human for a change.
127
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,548
[Grunting]
128
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:08,715
She was only kidding, Shirley.
129
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:14,392
She is very sensitive.
130
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:16,685
You think she knew what
we were talking about?
131
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,559
Mm.
132
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:19,186
But that's impossible.
133
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,862
She's just an animal.
134
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,821
[Grunting]
135
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:26,571
She was only joking, honey.
136
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,526
Would you be a little
careful with what you say?
137
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,287
You see, she's my bread and
butter, and without her.
138
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:35,750
I don't have an act.
139
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:36,460
That's not true.
140
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:40,879
You're the real star.
141
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,250
[Grunting]
142
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,086
I've seen you on television--
143
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,335
Johnny Carson, merv
Griffin, John Davidson.
144
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,048
You were marvelous.
145
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,717
Oh, thank you.
146
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:57,476
Of course, they only invite
me because of Shirley.
147
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,480
But it's you they talk to.
148
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:02,731
And you're funny and
bright and have the--
149
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,105
well, I'm only a school teacher.
150
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:08,283
And I don't know much
about your business.
151
00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:11,532
But despite what you say,
I think you're great.
152
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:12,236
Well, thank you.
153
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,405
You're very, very sweet.
154
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:23,206
I've got to get
her to the cabin.
155
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:23,964
Hey, listen, why don't you
come to rehearsal later?
156
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,835
I'd love to.
157
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,092
Oh, wonderful.
158
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:28,974
[Grunting]
159
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:29,970
All right, all right.
160
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:30,431
I'm coming.
161
00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:33,259
I'm coming.
162
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,006
After you.
163
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,306
[Grunting]
164
00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:37,598
Bye bye.
165
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:38,183
[Grunting]
166
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,637
That's your opinion.
167
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,119
Before I return your
tray, are you moving
168
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,949
back in or just visiting?
169
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:55,704
I'm sorry about that.
170
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,785
Something urgent came up.
171
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,000
I think it's coming up again.
172
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:05,964
Bartender?
173
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,415
Yes, sir?
174
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,125
Could you bring a glass of
orange juice to that table?
175
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,875
Got you covered.
176
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:11,007
I'll be right there.
177
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,061
Could you make that a pair?
178
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:18,179
My grandmother
would like one, too.
179
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,846
Your grandmother?
180
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,318
Thanks.
181
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:26,939
Here.
182
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,404
It's time for my break.
183
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:29,194
Isaac, wait!
184
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:29,987
Isaac!
185
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,069
It's your turn.
186
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,464
How about her?
187
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:49,842
No.
188
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:53,012
Harold, you've got
to be cooperative.
189
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:56,682
Now, I've picked out
nine women so far,
190
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,062
and you've said
no to all of them.
191
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,560
Harriet-- Harriet, i'm--
192
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:04,151
I'm not going to play
this game with you.
193
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,518
But what's the matter?
194
00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:09,034
Don't you like any of
the ones I picked out?
195
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,028
Well, you know, they--
196
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:13,069
they are kind of--
197
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:16,784
you know, they're older.
198
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,236
Oh.
199
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,986
You want someone younger.
200
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:22,287
Sure.
201
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:25,171
Why fly tourist when
I can go deluxe?
202
00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,879
Well, you pick one out.
203
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:38,795
Her.
204
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:44,769
Her?
205
00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:45,642
The young one with--
206
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:46,438
her.
207
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:52,693
[Laughs] You'll
be dead before me.
208
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,579
[Playing harmonica]
209
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:08,460
[Tooting horns]
210
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,382
A little slow.
211
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,251
[Grunting]
212
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,338
[Playing harmonica]
213
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,130
[Grunting]
214
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,928
What's wrong, Shirley?
215
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,182
Huh?
216
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,893
[Grunting]
217
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:25,103
Shirley, she is a guest.
218
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,604
[Grunting]
219
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,436
Well, big deal.
220
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,899
Will you please come--
221
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:38,914
oh, all right.
222
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,037
Hi, Karen.
223
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:47,963
Hi.
224
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,290
Is something wrong with Shirley?
225
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,585
I think maybe she's jealous.
226
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,379
And now, look, she's
very possessive
227
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:56,222
and we really have to rehearse.
228
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:58,548
So if you wouldn't
mind, you know--
229
00:11:58,634 --> 00:11:59,304
oh, no.
230
00:11:59,385 --> 00:11:59,965
Of course not.
231
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,392
I'm sorry, but [inaudible].
232
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:03,471
I understand.
233
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:08,185
Goodbye, Shirley.
234
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:15,573
She did that on purpose.
235
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,741
I'm terribly sorry.
236
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:17,989
I don't know what to say.
237
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:21,320
I-- listen, can I see you
later after I put her to bed?
238
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,277
Of course.
239
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:23,236
I'll look forward to it.
240
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:26,325
[Inaudible].
241
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:27,962
Shirley, that was terribly rude.
242
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:29,498
What have you got
to say for yourself?
243
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,962
[Grunting]
244
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,457
Oh, listen, you.
245
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,400
I think I'll run down and
pick up the evening paper,
246
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:57,942
see what's going
on in the world.
247
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:05,487
And as long as I'm down there,
I might jog a couple of miles,
248
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,326
loosen up a little.
249
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,416
Might even make it five miles.
250
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,709
Got to keep in shape.
251
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:15,922
Well, I'll see you later.
252
00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:18,213
Don't wait up for me.
253
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:18,837
[Grunting]
254
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:23,681
All right.
255
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:24,681
All right.
256
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,690
Now I lay me down to sleep.
257
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,025
I pray the lord my soul to keep.
258
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,820
Go to sleep.
259
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,114
[Grunting]
260
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,528
Oh, yes, yes.
261
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,955
And bless Lloyd
Bridges and flipper.
262
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,419
Now go to sleep.
263
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,296
Isaac.
264
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:44,304
Isaac, Isaac, Isaac.
265
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:44,973
Been friends a long time, right?
266
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,550
I'm not going to tell you.
267
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,466
Tell me what?
268
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,265
Why I've been acting so dumb.
269
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,478
Aw, I know you are
afraid of that big guy.
270
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,889
I'm not afraid of him.
271
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,228
It's that little
old lady with him.
272
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,114
Forget that you
heard it from me.
273
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:01,230
The little old lady?
274
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:04,027
She's Mrs. Williams, my
high school English teacher.
275
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:08,371
Oh, you're afraid of
your English teacher?
276
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,369
Did you forget to
turn in a composition?
277
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:13,502
You don't understand.
278
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,329
I just can't face her.
279
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,165
You were that bad, huh?
280
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,000
No, I was that good.
281
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:25,166
You're looking at Mrs.
Williams's prize student.
282
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,007
You know, Isaac, it's amazing.
283
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,262
The more you talk, the
less sense you make.
284
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:38,726
Gopher, I was voted
most likely to succeed.
285
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:39,862
Some success, huh?
286
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,228
I guess I can make
a better ramos
287
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:46,195
fizz than the other guys that
are now doctors and lawyers.
288
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:50,658
But Mrs. Williams thought I was
going to be a great journalist,
289
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:55,411
a nobel prize winner.
290
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,706
Ever try to write
with a swizzle stick?
291
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,250
That's why you're hiding, huh?
292
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:03,054
I just can't let her
see me as a bartender,
293
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:06,048
even if it is chief bartender.
294
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,091
Well, I think you're being
awfully hard on yourself.
295
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:17,519
Isaac Washington?
296
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:21,691
Mrs. Williams,
what a surprise.
297
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,902
Isaac, I didn't know you
were working on this boat.
298
00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:26,902
Isaac Washington was
one of my best students.
299
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:29,025
Well, that
doesn't surprise me.
300
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:31,203
I'm burl Smith, the
assistant purser.
301
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:32,571
- How nice to meet you.
- How do you do?
302
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,828
Nice to meet you.
303
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:37,709
Tell me, Isaac, what
you do on this ship?
304
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:40,208
Well, the fact is--
305
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:42,420
well, what doesn't
he do, Mrs. Williams?
306
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,671
Isaac Washington here is
the heart of the ship.
307
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:50,554
He's first officer, that
far from being a captain.
308
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:54,934
I knew you would succeed.
309
00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:57,733
Yeah, well, actually,
that's all wrong.
310
00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,478
Well, he's so modest.
311
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:01,441
Was he that way at school?
312
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,110
Oh, absolutely.
313
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:06,278
When he was elected president
of the student body,
314
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,028
he asked for a recount.
315
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,860
Well, that's the
way he is around here.
316
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:13,155
He is always concerned
about everybody.
317
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,620
Tell me, Isaac, do you suppose
I could see where you work?
318
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,292
I've never been on
a big ship before,
319
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,790
and I'd love to
watch what you do.
320
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,963
Well, what I really do is--
321
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:26,302
well, I don't see any problem
with that, Mrs. Williams.
322
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,668
With first officer
Washington's permission,
323
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:29,796
I could set it up
tomorrow morning
324
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,012
between 10:30 and 11:00.
325
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:32,972
When the ship docks
in puerto vallarta,
326
00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:36,431
captain stubing will
go ashore and leave
327
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,813
the ship in your hands.
328
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:39,771
Uh, right.
329
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:40,770
Wonderful.
330
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,651
I'll see you, then,
in the morning, Isaac.
331
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:44,479
Goodnight.
332
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:45,483
Goodnight.
333
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:46,614
Now you're acting dumb.
334
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:47,650
Do you think I'm going to
become the first officer
335
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,783
by tomorrow morning?
336
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:50,650
Why not?
337
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,856
We are equal
opportunity employers.
338
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,276
Hi.
339
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,489
I'm sorry if i'm
late, but I didn't
340
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,699
want Shirley to get suspicious.
341
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,830
I'm glad you're here.
342
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,038
You sure cater to Shirley.
343
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:43,038
Well, it's just
that she's so jealous.
344
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:45,711
Last month, I hired
this cleaning woman.
345
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,131
And well, Shirley saw us
together, and she ran away.
346
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:49,881
No.
347
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:50,882
Yeah.
348
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,673
Just waddled out of
the water and took off.
349
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,047
And she came back a week
later, thank heavens.
350
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,184
Because without Shirley,
I'm out of business.
351
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,392
Oh, that's not true.
352
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,561
You are very talented person.
353
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,020
And I don't ever
want to hear you
354
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,600
putting yourself down again.
355
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,647
[Chuckles]
356
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:39,600
There she is, the
next Mrs. Rodgers.
357
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,468
All right, Harold, you're on.
358
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,563
Harold--
359
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:50,364
what's the matter?
360
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:53,939
I feel like I'm sending
you off to school.
361
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:54,776
Go ahead.
362
00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:58,699
Go ahead.
363
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,051
I'm Harold Rogers.
364
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,336
Um, Cindy sterling.
365
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,647
Anybody ever tell you you
look like George Brent?
366
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:30,648
George who?
367
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:31,099
Brent.
368
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:34,148
The movie actor.
369
00:20:34,232 --> 00:20:36,652
Maybe a little bit
of Herbert Marshall.
370
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:43,701
Good evening.
371
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,544
Look over there.
372
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,409
He found a girl,
that pretty blond.
373
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:48,156
Who did?
374
00:20:48,246 --> 00:20:49,326
My husband.
375
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,674
Well, I'm sure it's
just a temporary thing.
376
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,710
Bite your tongue.
377
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,627
Oh, I just love old movies.
378
00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:00,005
I go all the time.
379
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,132
But basil rathbone--
380
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,718
I am so glad to see you
two getting along like this.
381
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,014
You'll like him.
382
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:10,348
He's attractive, thoughtful, a
good provider, and as a lover,
383
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,895
Burt Reynolds could
take lessons from him.
384
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,821
Really?
385
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,820
You want references?
386
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:21,992
I can give them
to you in writing.
387
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:29,452
Well, I think he's nice,
too, but who are you?
388
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:30,658
I'm his wife.
389
00:21:42,467 --> 00:21:44,467
Well, back to older women.
390
00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:11,832
Hey, Shirley, wait up.
391
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:15,713
I never dreamed a TV star
would see anything in me.
392
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:17,292
And I never dreamed
anything like this
393
00:22:17,377 --> 00:22:19,837
could happen to me,
a guy who runs around
394
00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:22,011
with a pocketful of fish.
395
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,430
All I ever attracted
was pussycats.
396
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:28,850
I thought all i'd
ever have was Shirley,
397
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:30,220
but now I have so much more.
398
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,653
[Splash]
399
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:44,606
What was that?
400
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:46,106
I didn't hear anything.
401
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,042
Is Shirley here?
402
00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:56,416
Here?
403
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:57,630
No, she's asleep.
404
00:22:57,709 --> 00:22:59,129
No, I just followed her here.
405
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:04,301
I thought she-- oh, no!
406
00:23:04,382 --> 00:23:08,142
Oh, my god!
407
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:10,260
Shirley-- she must have seen us.
408
00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:11,517
She jumped overboard.
409
00:23:11,598 --> 00:23:11,848
Shirley!
410
00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:14,312
Shirley!
411
00:23:14,392 --> 00:23:15,102
Shirley!
412
00:23:37,415 --> 00:23:39,575
Gopher, if the captain
ever finds us in here--
413
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:40,668
man, relax.
414
00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:42,842
We'll have her out of
here in five minutes.
415
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:43,511
Captain will never know.
416
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:44,508
He went ashore with Vicki.
417
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:47,589
Now, better put on one
of the captain's hats.
418
00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:58,441
Excuse me.
419
00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,350
Oh, hi.
420
00:23:59,437 --> 00:24:00,307
Am I late?
421
00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:01,767
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, Mrs. Williams.
422
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:02,227
You come right in.
- Yes.
423
00:24:02,315 --> 00:24:03,565
Look official.
424
00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:11,620
Isn't this impressive?
425
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:15,540
Just what are your
duties, Isaac?
426
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:18,540
Mrs. Williams, what I
really want you to know is--
427
00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:19,333
that's all right, sir.
428
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:20,376
I'll fill her in.
429
00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:22,458
You just resume your
numerous responsibilities.
430
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:27,550
Is something wrong?
431
00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:28,552
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
432
00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:30,643
It's just that, well,
when first officer
433
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:34,389
Washington is on duty his
total attention to the ship.
434
00:24:34,472 --> 00:24:36,812
That's a good attitude.
435
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,392
Mm hm.
436
00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:40,596
But to answer your
question, Mr. Washington
437
00:24:40,687 --> 00:24:47,067
is in charge of navigation,
maritime procedures, engines,
438
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,742
crew, passengers, everything.
439
00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:52,871
That doesn't leave much for
the captain to do, does it?
440
00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:55,829
Well, captain is just
an honorary position.
441
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,541
They find some guy that
looks good in a uniform.
442
00:24:57,621 --> 00:25:01,171
Captain stubing is just
for show, judging dance
443
00:25:01,249 --> 00:25:03,079
contests and stuff like that.
444
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:04,918
Are you the captain?
445
00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,593
Yes, ma'am.
446
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:10,682
I just finished judging
a cha-cha contest.
447
00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:14,469
You must be proud to have
two such fine young man
448
00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:15,814
sailing with you.
449
00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:16,509
I can't tell you how proud.
450
00:25:20,602 --> 00:25:23,652
Well, I can see
you're very busy.
451
00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:27,440
Thank you for showing me your
ship, first officer Washington.
452
00:25:27,525 --> 00:25:29,395
I'll walk you
back to your cabin.
453
00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:31,446
I'll help.
454
00:25:31,529 --> 00:25:31,569
Gentlemen.
455
00:25:39,537 --> 00:25:42,247
If it isn't in an imposition,
I'd like to see both of you
456
00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:44,462
in my office tonight
right after we leave port.
457
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:45,422
Yes, sir.
458
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:46,422
Yes, sir.
459
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,423
I'll try to look real
good in my uniform.
460
00:26:03,687 --> 00:26:04,307
The whole thing is crazy.
461
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:06,936
My wife is driving me nuts.
462
00:26:07,023 --> 00:26:07,943
What am I going to do?
463
00:26:08,024 --> 00:26:11,534
Well, why not just
go along with her idea?
464
00:26:11,611 --> 00:26:13,861
You mean really
find another woman?
465
00:26:13,947 --> 00:26:15,697
Yeah.
466
00:26:15,782 --> 00:26:18,832
That way, she'll
enjoy the cruise.
467
00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:20,540
And you certainly will, too.
468
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,247
I don't want to
be with anyone else.
469
00:26:25,333 --> 00:26:27,003
But you won't be for long.
470
00:26:27,085 --> 00:26:29,745
The odds are that when
she finally actually sees
471
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,548
you're paying attention to
some sexy, voluptuous woman,
472
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:35,511
she'll get jealous and
snap back into her senses.
473
00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:41,177
Maybe that'll do it.
474
00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:42,096
What if she doesn't get jealous?
475
00:26:42,183 --> 00:26:43,893
What if she approves?
476
00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:48,017
Then you're stuck with
a sexy, voluptuous woman.
477
00:26:48,106 --> 00:26:49,856
[Knocking]
478
00:26:49,941 --> 00:26:56,451
Come in.
479
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,368
I've lost her, Karen.
480
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:01,040
She's gone forever.
481
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:02,249
Stop blaming yourself.
482
00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:04,289
It's not your fault.
483
00:27:04,372 --> 00:27:06,922
I should never have let
her find out about us.
484
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,630
She was so sensitive.
485
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,550
You'll got another seal.
486
00:27:10,628 --> 00:27:12,958
Oh, not like Shirley.
487
00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:20,058
No, it's over, my dreams,
my career, my life.
488
00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:22,058
Oscar.
489
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:25,480
All I have left now
are memories, memories
490
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:26,850
and 300 pounds of anchovies.
491
00:27:47,290 --> 00:27:49,460
Excuse me.
492
00:27:49,542 --> 00:27:51,882
No, no, no, please don't go.
493
00:27:54,672 --> 00:27:57,632
I want to apologize
for me and my wife.
494
00:27:57,717 --> 00:28:00,047
We're not a kinky
couple, honest.
495
00:28:00,136 --> 00:28:01,136
You're not?
496
00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:06,021
It's just that she wants
to find a woman for me.
497
00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:07,561
That's normal?
498
00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:11,864
Harold, believe me, Irene
Dunn would not do it.
499
00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:14,480
Oh, no, you don't understand.
500
00:28:14,567 --> 00:28:18,197
You see, my wife is
convinced she's going to die.
501
00:28:18,279 --> 00:28:20,449
And she wants to
be certain that i'm
502
00:28:20,532 --> 00:28:23,622
looked after when she's gone.
503
00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:26,001
Oh.
504
00:28:26,079 --> 00:28:29,709
You mean-- oh, me.
505
00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:32,671
Well, that's so
beautiful, trying
506
00:28:32,752 --> 00:28:36,262
to find her own successor.
507
00:28:36,339 --> 00:28:39,049
I remember a movie where
greer Garson was dying,
508
00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:43,974
and she did the same thing with
vivien Leigh for Ronald colman.
509
00:28:44,055 --> 00:28:46,925
And they all lived happily
ever after, except greer.
510
00:28:55,733 --> 00:28:59,203
Cindy, Cindy,
would you consider
511
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:01,699
spending some time
with me, letting
512
00:29:01,781 --> 00:29:02,451
my wife see us together?
513
00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:09,332
Oh, it would be a privilege.
514
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:11,964
We just have to be
absolutely certain that she
515
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:12,921
comes in at the precise moment.
516
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:24,012
Excuse me, doc.
517
00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:26,305
Oh, hi, Harold.
518
00:29:26,389 --> 00:29:28,519
I see you're following
my prescription.
519
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,150
Doctor, we need your
help to get my wife to come
520
00:29:32,228 --> 00:29:34,518
to Cindy's cabin tonight.
521
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:36,476
Aloha deck 357.
522
00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:39,106
Say right at 9 o'clock sharp.
523
00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:42,204
Aloha 357 at 9 o'clock sharp.
524
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:43,780
And what will be happening?
525
00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:44,615
Oh, we will be
doing everything
526
00:29:44,699 --> 00:29:47,039
we can to make his wife happy.
527
00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:54,292
Julie: Ok, that's on deck four.
528
00:29:54,375 --> 00:29:54,705
Hi, Karen.
529
00:29:54,792 --> 00:29:55,962
Hi, Julie.
530
00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:57,464
I've been looking for you.
531
00:29:57,545 --> 00:29:58,625
Oh?
532
00:29:58,713 --> 00:30:01,053
I was thinking about
the show tonight.
533
00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:04,262
I don't think there's
going to be a show.
534
00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:05,724
Let Oscar go on, Julie.
535
00:30:05,803 --> 00:30:08,603
Well, you see, I
signed up a seal act.
536
00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:10,601
Now how do you do a
seal act with no seal?
537
00:30:10,683 --> 00:30:11,683
He doesn't need a seal.
538
00:30:11,768 --> 00:30:12,558
He's funny without it.
539
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,904
I know you're
crazy about the guy.
540
00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:17,569
You have to give him a chance.
541
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,319
He's convinced that without
Shirley, he's worthless.
542
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,820
Oh, Julie, please.
543
00:30:21,903 --> 00:30:23,493
I'm talking about
more than an act.
544
00:30:23,571 --> 00:30:28,581
I'm talking about his life.
545
00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:30,790
Well, is he willing?
546
00:30:30,870 --> 00:30:34,960
He will be when I
finish talking to him.
547
00:30:35,041 --> 00:30:35,631
Ok.
548
00:30:35,708 --> 00:30:36,788
We'll give it a shot.
549
00:30:36,876 --> 00:30:38,546
But if you're wrong, just
remember, the three of us
550
00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:39,958
may have to swim
back to Los Angeles.
551
00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:10,158
Captain stubing: Come in.
552
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:25,258
If you're busy, we
can come back later.
553
00:31:25,341 --> 00:31:26,051
Next month?
554
00:31:37,895 --> 00:31:41,815
Impersonating a
superior officer,
555
00:31:41,899 --> 00:31:45,319
unauthorized passenger on the
bridge, degrading a superior.
556
00:31:48,698 --> 00:31:49,448
Well?
557
00:31:49,532 --> 00:31:50,872
Would you believe
we were drunk?
558
00:31:50,950 --> 00:31:51,530
No.
559
00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:53,288
I don't think you would.
560
00:31:53,369 --> 00:31:55,039
Your turn.
561
00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:03,882
Captain, this whole
thing wasn't gofer's fault.
562
00:32:03,963 --> 00:32:04,673
Oh?
563
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:10,139
Can I speak to you alone?
564
00:32:10,219 --> 00:32:10,259
You're dismissed.
565
00:32:16,684 --> 00:32:21,774
Sir, um, by dismissed,
do you mean dismissed,
566
00:32:21,856 --> 00:32:22,516
or do you mean--
567
00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:24,027
[popping sound]
568
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:26,188
I'll let you know later.
569
00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:26,987
Ok.
570
00:32:34,994 --> 00:32:38,414
Captain, what you
overheard on the bridge was--
571
00:32:38,498 --> 00:32:41,998
Isaac, do you
know what I heard?
572
00:32:42,085 --> 00:32:44,125
I heard a man trying
to live up to an image
573
00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:46,422
that other people have of him.
574
00:32:46,506 --> 00:32:49,676
But sir, Mrs. Williams
was a very special woman
575
00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:54,849
in my life, a teacher.
576
00:32:54,931 --> 00:33:00,061
She-- she expected
great things of me.
577
00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:01,564
Ok.
578
00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:04,226
Let's say that she was
fooled by the masquerade.
579
00:33:04,315 --> 00:33:09,695
But ultimately, the only one
you'd be kidding is yourself.
580
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:11,489
The problem that
needs answering is not
581
00:33:11,572 --> 00:33:14,372
what Mrs. Williams
wants of Isaac
582
00:33:14,450 --> 00:33:16,580
but what Isaac wants of Isaac.
583
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:21,423
Have a word with her.
584
00:33:21,499 --> 00:33:23,079
If she's the woman
I think she is,
585
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:24,207
she may help you
with your answer.
586
00:33:27,588 --> 00:33:30,048
Thank you, captain.
587
00:33:30,133 --> 00:33:31,383
You're dismissed.
588
00:33:37,306 --> 00:33:41,886
Sir, by dismissed,
do you mean--
589
00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:42,728
you're not fired.
590
00:33:47,191 --> 00:33:47,981
Thank you.
591
00:33:48,067 --> 00:33:48,777
Yet.
592
00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:09,594
It's almost showtime.
593
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:11,382
What are you talking about?
594
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:13,046
You have to go on.
595
00:34:13,134 --> 00:34:14,394
I can't go on without Shirley.
596
00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:15,799
Yes, you can.
597
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:16,507
I know you can.
598
00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:17,346
I've seen you.
599
00:34:17,430 --> 00:34:18,640
You're bright and
funny and witty.
600
00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:20,773
Well, that was Shirley.
601
00:34:20,850 --> 00:34:22,980
It was you.
602
00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:25,310
Maybe I'm prejudiced because
I'm in love with you.
603
00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:27,516
But I'm sure you can be funny--
604
00:34:27,607 --> 00:34:29,477
in love with me?
605
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,437
Yeah.
606
00:34:31,527 --> 00:34:34,657
I thought it was only
me in love with you.
607
00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:36,489
I know you can do it.
608
00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:40,374
You really can.
609
00:34:40,453 --> 00:34:42,833
A seal act without a seal.
610
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,924
Well, that's
certainly different.
611
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:47,039
Then you'll do it?
612
00:34:47,126 --> 00:34:49,336
Well, if I fail, at
least we won't starve.
613
00:34:49,420 --> 00:34:52,920
Bottom line is that we've
got 300 lbs of frozen fish
614
00:34:53,007 --> 00:34:53,757
to fall back.
615
00:35:12,151 --> 00:35:12,821
Cindy: Be right out.
616
00:35:12,902 --> 00:35:16,662
Don't hurry on my account.
617
00:35:16,739 --> 00:35:18,119
Did you leave
the door unlocked?
618
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:29,382
One minute to nine.
619
00:35:29,460 --> 00:35:30,210
There's lots of time.
620
00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:30,884
Not really.
621
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:31,842
We'd better get started.
622
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,091
But i-- i--
623
00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:59,315
Doc, doc, I've been
looking all over for you.
624
00:35:59,407 --> 00:35:59,737
Have you seen Mrs. Rogers?
625
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,624
Not lately.
626
00:36:01,701 --> 00:36:04,451
Look, doc, there is a super
chick, right over there,
627
00:36:04,537 --> 00:36:05,197
who is dying to meet you.
628
00:36:05,288 --> 00:36:07,788
She say she freaks on medics.
629
00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:10,754
Yeah, but first I have to--
630
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:11,665
she does?
631
00:36:11,752 --> 00:36:12,342
She's right over there.
632
00:36:16,257 --> 00:36:17,427
You'd better get started, doc.
633
00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:18,338
There's not much time.
634
00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:20,176
The ship gets in
tomorrow afternoon.
635
00:36:40,656 --> 00:36:43,326
[Applause]
636
00:36:44,911 --> 00:36:46,331
Thank you.
637
00:36:46,412 --> 00:36:48,042
Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight the acapulco lounge
638
00:36:48,122 --> 00:36:52,542
proudly presents
Oscar and Shirley.
639
00:36:52,627 --> 00:36:54,127
[Applause]
640
00:37:01,385 --> 00:37:02,635
Thank you very much.
641
00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:05,180
Thank you.
642
00:37:05,264 --> 00:37:06,064
Thank you very much.
643
00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:07,270
Good evening, ladies
and gentlemen.
644
00:37:07,350 --> 00:37:09,520
A funny thing happened to
me on my way over here.
645
00:37:09,602 --> 00:37:12,402
Shirley decided to put me
in business for myself.
646
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,320
Now, it was quite a blow.
647
00:37:14,398 --> 00:37:16,728
Shirley and I were very close.
648
00:37:16,817 --> 00:37:18,277
We worked together
for over 10 years.
649
00:37:18,361 --> 00:37:22,161
And well, Shirley was
more than a partner.
650
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,909
She was-- well, how would you
men like it if you woke up
651
00:37:24,992 --> 00:37:27,872
in the morning and you found
out that your wife had run off
652
00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:30,254
and was never coming back?
653
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:31,461
You, sir?
654
00:37:31,540 --> 00:37:35,210
Why are you laughing?
655
00:37:35,294 --> 00:37:36,674
Now on with the show.
656
00:37:40,132 --> 00:37:46,562
A one, a two, and a three.
657
00:37:46,639 --> 00:37:48,679
Now I have to confess that
this trick is a lot more
658
00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:51,556
effective with a seal.
659
00:37:51,644 --> 00:37:52,694
My next number is a duet.
660
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:54,810
And without Shirley, i'm
going to need a volunteer.
661
00:37:54,897 --> 00:37:56,517
Anybody want to volunteer?
662
00:37:56,607 --> 00:37:58,437
[Chatter]
663
00:38:01,529 --> 00:38:02,029
Anybody want to--
664
00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:05,073
gopher, how about you?
665
00:38:05,157 --> 00:38:05,827
Oh, no, no.
666
00:38:05,908 --> 00:38:07,538
Come on, gopher.
667
00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:08,408
[Applause]
668
00:38:08,494 --> 00:38:11,874
We're going to have some fun.
669
00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:15,666
Come on, now.
670
00:38:15,751 --> 00:38:17,291
[Inaudible] It's very simple.
671
00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:18,958
See, I play on the harmonica.
672
00:38:19,046 --> 00:38:21,296
I play dun, dun, da dun dun.
673
00:38:21,382 --> 00:38:24,432
And you play on the
horns, dun dun, dun dun.
674
00:38:24,510 --> 00:38:25,220
You got it?
675
00:38:25,302 --> 00:38:26,682
I guess so.
676
00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:27,512
Oh, that's a good boy.
677
00:38:27,596 --> 00:38:28,216
Come on now.
678
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:29,266
It's really very simple.
679
00:38:29,348 --> 00:38:31,058
You know, this could be
a steady job for you.
680
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:31,522
I hope you like anchovies.
681
00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:35,976
[Inaudible] No, no, no.
682
00:38:36,063 --> 00:38:37,113
They don't work.
683
00:38:37,189 --> 00:38:37,899
You don't squeeze them.
684
00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:39,942
You blow into them.
685
00:38:40,026 --> 00:38:41,486
You'll get the hang of it.
Just sit down.
686
00:38:41,569 --> 00:38:42,069
You ready now?
Here we go.
687
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:44,703
[Playing harmonica]
688
00:38:44,780 --> 00:38:46,700
[Tooting horns]
689
00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:49,370
Perfect.
690
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:51,042
Wonderful.
691
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:52,960
[Playing harmonica]
692
00:38:53,039 --> 00:38:54,369
[Tooting horns]
693
00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:56,503
[Playing harmonica]
694
00:38:57,501 --> 00:38:58,421
[Tooting horns]
695
00:38:58,502 --> 00:38:59,922
Now in tempo.
696
00:39:00,004 --> 00:39:01,384
[Playing harmonica]
697
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:04,510
[Tooting horns]
698
00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:06,472
[Playing harmonica]
699
00:39:06,552 --> 00:39:07,512
[Tooting horns]
700
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:12,184
[Playing harmonica]
701
00:39:12,266 --> 00:39:12,926
[Tooting horns]
702
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:13,927
Little faster.
703
00:39:14,018 --> 00:39:15,558
[Playing harmonica]
704
00:39:15,644 --> 00:39:16,774
[Tooting horns]
705
00:39:16,854 --> 00:39:17,564
[Playing harmonica]
706
00:39:17,646 --> 00:39:18,266
[Tooting horns]
707
00:39:18,355 --> 00:39:20,895
[Harmonia and horns playing
708
00:39:20,983 --> 00:39:29,453
together]
709
00:39:29,533 --> 00:39:30,453
[Applause]
710
00:40:01,273 --> 00:40:01,903
Doc!
711
00:40:01,982 --> 00:40:03,902
Oh, hi, Harold.
712
00:40:03,984 --> 00:40:05,494
Oh, no.
713
00:40:05,569 --> 00:40:06,319
I blew it.
714
00:40:06,403 --> 00:40:06,993
I forgot to get your wife.
715
00:40:07,071 --> 00:40:09,071
I'm terribly sorry.
716
00:40:09,156 --> 00:40:11,236
Do you realize what
you just put me through?
717
00:40:11,325 --> 00:40:12,155
I've spent the last
four hours lying
718
00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:15,373
in bed next to a naked woman.
719
00:40:15,454 --> 00:40:16,464
Why are you angry?
720
00:40:16,539 --> 00:40:16,829
How would you feel?
721
00:40:16,914 --> 00:40:18,464
I would--
722
00:40:18,541 --> 00:40:20,001
I apologize sincerely.
723
00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:21,464
Because of you,
I've been making love
724
00:40:21,544 --> 00:40:23,384
all night long for nothing.
725
00:40:23,462 --> 00:40:24,512
Harold, that's--
726
00:40:24,588 --> 00:40:27,008
you ruined my whole evening.
727
00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:28,341
Ok, I'll tell
you what I'll do.
728
00:40:28,425 --> 00:40:30,585
I'll go get your wife
now and bring her.
729
00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:31,348
And you go back
inside with Cindy.
730
00:40:31,428 --> 00:40:35,138
Back to Cindy, are you crazy?
731
00:40:35,224 --> 00:40:37,024
I'm lucky to be alive.
732
00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:39,351
What can I do to help?
733
00:40:39,436 --> 00:40:41,306
Nothing.
734
00:40:41,397 --> 00:40:43,767
I have a plan of my own.
735
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:45,318
Harriet may be ready
to lose me, but there
736
00:40:45,401 --> 00:40:47,151
are other things
more important to her
737
00:40:47,236 --> 00:40:50,356
she may not be ready to give up.
738
00:40:50,447 --> 00:40:51,237
Oh.
739
00:40:51,323 --> 00:40:52,453
Well, what if your
plan doesn't work?
740
00:40:52,533 --> 00:40:54,583
Then I'll just have to
try Cindy's way again.
741
00:41:05,129 --> 00:41:06,799
Harold, where have you been?
742
00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:08,011
I looked everywhere for you.
743
00:41:08,090 --> 00:41:11,680
There were so many women at
the dance, all candidates.
744
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:12,390
Let's go up and see--
745
00:41:12,469 --> 00:41:14,639
Harriet, the search is over.
746
00:41:14,722 --> 00:41:17,732
I have found your successor.
747
00:41:17,808 --> 00:41:19,848
Oh?
748
00:41:19,935 --> 00:41:22,855
Well, that blonde that you
approved of, you remember?
749
00:41:22,938 --> 00:41:23,308
The young one with the--
750
00:41:23,397 --> 00:41:26,397
she'll be fine.
751
00:41:26,483 --> 00:41:29,403
I was with her in
her cabin a while,
752
00:41:29,486 --> 00:41:34,276
and I think we're pretty,
you know, compatible.
753
00:41:34,366 --> 00:41:36,406
Oh, that's nice.
754
00:41:36,493 --> 00:41:38,333
Oh, it really is.
755
00:41:38,412 --> 00:41:39,462
That's what I wanted.
756
00:41:39,538 --> 00:41:42,078
I just have to accept it.
757
00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,586
I guess it's all settled.
758
00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,748
I guess so.
759
00:41:46,837 --> 00:41:48,957
Just a few little details.
760
00:41:49,048 --> 00:41:51,468
Be sure and have your savings
account transferred to her name
761
00:41:51,550 --> 00:41:52,430
now.
762
00:41:52,509 --> 00:41:55,049
There is a little
sports car she likes,
763
00:41:55,137 --> 00:41:57,177
and it'll be just enough.
764
00:41:57,264 --> 00:41:59,434
My bank account?
765
00:41:59,516 --> 00:42:01,016
I saved that from the
house money, Harold.
766
00:42:01,101 --> 00:42:02,941
It took me 11 years.
767
00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:06,900
Believe me, she'll
appreciate it all the more.
768
00:42:06,982 --> 00:42:10,572
And it'd be better if you didn't
wear that necklace anymore.
769
00:42:10,653 --> 00:42:13,823
Cindy likes it, and it
might get scratched.
770
00:42:13,906 --> 00:42:15,196
No, Harold.
771
00:42:15,282 --> 00:42:17,082
Wrong.
772
00:42:17,159 --> 00:42:19,659
What's the difference?
773
00:42:19,745 --> 00:42:20,285
You'll be gone anyway.
774
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:22,331
Wrong again, Harold.
775
00:42:22,414 --> 00:42:25,004
There will be no sports car.
776
00:42:25,084 --> 00:42:27,004
Oh, no, Harold.
777
00:42:27,086 --> 00:42:28,586
I'm going to keep the blue
dress and the necklace.
778
00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:32,301
And I'm going to live for
however long it takes.
779
00:42:32,383 --> 00:42:33,383
Are you sure?
780
00:42:33,467 --> 00:42:34,967
Yes.
781
00:42:35,052 --> 00:42:37,932
I'll tell Cindy
the deal is off.
782
00:42:38,013 --> 00:42:39,893
And there'll be no more
talk of another woman.
783
00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:41,644
No more.
784
00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:43,725
Ever.
785
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:46,311
Oh, I guess I just
didn't realize, Harold.
786
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:50,477
It's all I wanted to hear.
787
00:42:50,567 --> 00:42:52,067
I love you, Harriet.
788
00:42:52,152 --> 00:42:54,862
And I always will.
789
00:42:59,952 --> 00:43:03,082
I love you, too, Harold.
790
00:43:03,163 --> 00:43:06,003
That's the only reason I ever--
791
00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:08,503
let's not talk about it anymore.
792
00:43:08,585 --> 00:43:10,245
Let's make this a
night to remember.
793
00:43:10,337 --> 00:43:11,167
Right.
794
00:43:11,255 --> 00:43:14,335
We'll go right up
to the dance and--
795
00:43:14,425 --> 00:43:18,345
I've got a better
idea, Harold.
796
00:43:18,429 --> 00:43:23,519
Harold, come to bed.
797
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,310
I was right all along.
798
00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:27,524
They will be burying me first.
799
00:43:39,783 --> 00:43:41,333
Good evening, Mrs. Williams.
800
00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:45,080
Good evening, Isaac.
801
00:43:45,164 --> 00:43:47,884
I have a confession
to make to you.
802
00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:50,918
I'm not the first
officer of this ship.
803
00:43:51,003 --> 00:43:53,593
I'm the chief bartender.
804
00:43:53,672 --> 00:43:54,842
I know.
805
00:43:54,923 --> 00:43:57,433
You do?
806
00:43:57,509 --> 00:43:59,549
When I told Carl
about it, he thought
807
00:43:59,636 --> 00:44:04,016
it was a coincidence that the
bartender was named Isaac.
808
00:44:04,099 --> 00:44:08,849
So I thought it was more than
a coincidence, and I checked.
809
00:44:08,937 --> 00:44:09,897
You're disappointed?
810
00:44:09,980 --> 00:44:11,900
Yes.
811
00:44:11,982 --> 00:44:12,692
Very.
812
00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:22,240
Oh, not in you, Isaac, in myself
for not being a better teacher.
813
00:44:22,326 --> 00:44:26,326
Mrs. Williams, you were
the best teacher I ever had.
814
00:44:26,413 --> 00:44:29,123
Then why wasn't I able to
teach you that who you are
815
00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,418
isn't important?
816
00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:34,962
It's what you are that counts.
817
00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:36,627
Isaac, do you think
it matters to me
818
00:44:36,715 --> 00:44:41,425
whether you're a
bartender, a ditch digger,
819
00:44:41,512 --> 00:44:44,602
or a captain of a luxury liner?
820
00:44:44,681 --> 00:44:47,431
All that matters
to me is that you
821
00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:50,518
are happy at what you're
doing and whatever
822
00:44:50,604 --> 00:44:54,234
it is, you're doing your best.
823
00:44:58,195 --> 00:45:02,235
You know, school's
been out all these years,
824
00:45:02,324 --> 00:45:04,084
and I think you just
taught me the most
825
00:45:04,159 --> 00:45:07,119
important lesson of all.
826
00:45:07,204 --> 00:45:11,004
Mrs. Williams, I love you.
827
00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:48,745
I hate to leave this ship.
828
00:45:48,829 --> 00:45:50,659
Last night was
the most wonderful
829
00:45:50,747 --> 00:45:52,247
night I've had in years.
830
00:45:52,332 --> 00:45:54,292
I'm sure it was for you.
831
00:45:54,376 --> 00:45:55,456
Yes, dear, it was wonderful.
832
00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:56,844
Oh, Harold, I want
to make up for all
833
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:57,710
the agony I put you through.
834
00:45:57,796 --> 00:46:00,006
From now on, I promise
that every night
835
00:46:00,090 --> 00:46:03,680
will be wonderfully wild and
passionate, like last night.
836
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:05,300
Can I sit down for a minute?
837
00:46:05,387 --> 00:46:06,347
Of course, dear.
838
00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:18,855
Mrs. Rogers,
you're still alive.
839
00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:19,572
I certainly am.
840
00:46:19,651 --> 00:46:21,991
But he doesn't look too well.
841
00:46:22,070 --> 00:46:24,280
I didn't get much
sleep last night.
842
00:46:24,364 --> 00:46:25,914
Should you ever again
decide to pass on,
843
00:46:25,991 --> 00:46:29,121
I just want you to know
that you can go peacefully,
844
00:46:29,203 --> 00:46:32,503
because I'll be waiting
in the wings for Harold.
845
00:46:32,581 --> 00:46:34,041
I wouldn't wait, dear.
846
00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:37,674
When I go, Harold will be
more than ready to go with me.
847
00:46:43,008 --> 00:46:46,468
Oh, I was afraid i'd
missed saying goodbye to you.
848
00:46:46,553 --> 00:46:47,553
No chance, Mrs. Williams.
849
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:48,888
I've been watching for you.
850
00:46:48,972 --> 00:46:52,352
You be sure and drive
this boat carefully.
851
00:46:52,434 --> 00:46:53,694
It's a ship, Mrs. Williams.
852
00:46:53,769 --> 00:46:54,559
And you don't drive it--
853
00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:56,055
Mr. Washington,
I don't think we're
854
00:46:56,146 --> 00:46:58,066
ready to teach the teacher.
855
00:46:58,148 --> 00:46:59,228
When you come back, Mrs.
Williams, you and I will
856
00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:03,146
go up on the bridge and you
can drive the boat any way
857
00:47:03,237 --> 00:47:04,067
you want.
858
00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:07,374
Oh, thank you, captain.
859
00:47:07,449 --> 00:47:09,279
Captain, thank you for
a most enjoyable time.
860
00:47:09,368 --> 00:47:11,248
Captain stubing:
You're very welcome.
861
00:47:11,328 --> 00:47:12,158
Julie: Bye, bye.
862
00:47:12,246 --> 00:47:13,116
Thanks for sailing with us.
863
00:47:13,205 --> 00:47:13,825
Man: Bye, bye.
864
00:47:13,914 --> 00:47:15,624
Well, I guess it's goodbye.
865
00:47:15,707 --> 00:47:17,577
We sure want to thank
you for everything.
866
00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:19,498
Oh, you more than thanked
us with that sensational
867
00:47:19,586 --> 00:47:21,506
solo act of Oscar's.
868
00:47:21,588 --> 00:47:22,258
Solo?
869
00:47:22,339 --> 00:47:23,759
What about me?
870
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:25,300
Now, listen, would you
consider giving up the sea
871
00:47:25,384 --> 00:47:25,724
and becoming a--
872
00:47:25,801 --> 00:47:27,931
[grunting]
873
00:47:28,011 --> 00:47:30,641
Oh, Shirley.
874
00:47:30,722 --> 00:47:32,222
Looks like I've
already been replaced.
875
00:47:32,307 --> 00:47:33,597
[Grunting]
876
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:35,734
Your brother's in the gangway.
877
00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:36,941
He said that she turned
up at your beach house.
878
00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:39,230
I guess she got homesick
and changed her mind.
879
00:47:39,314 --> 00:47:41,284
[Grunting]
880
00:47:41,358 --> 00:47:43,358
You want to go back?
881
00:47:43,443 --> 00:47:44,903
[Grunting]
882
00:47:44,987 --> 00:47:46,407
Ok, well, on my terms.
883
00:47:46,488 --> 00:47:49,948
First, no more [inaudible].
884
00:47:50,033 --> 00:47:53,413
And second, we got a
new manager, Karen.
885
00:47:53,495 --> 00:47:55,785
Take it or leave it.
886
00:47:55,872 --> 00:47:57,712
[Grunting]
887
00:47:57,791 --> 00:47:59,841
Well, I guess a
raise is in order.
888
00:47:59,918 --> 00:48:03,128
Five fish an hour.
889
00:48:03,213 --> 00:48:05,473
Split the difference,
seven and a half.
890
00:48:05,549 --> 00:48:06,009
[Grunting]
891
00:48:07,467 --> 00:48:09,637
We got a deal.
892
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:10,640
Come on, Karen.
893
00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:11,641
Come on, Shirley.
894
00:48:11,722 --> 00:48:12,432
Bye.
895
00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:16,386
Bye, bye.
896
00:48:16,476 --> 00:48:17,136
Bye.
897
00:48:27,070 --> 00:48:29,740
[Theme music]
898
00:48:29,790 --> 00:48:34,340
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
59898
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.