Original subtitles

[Music playing]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat, soon we'll be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, you're mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile, on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Has Janet Reeves boarded yet?

Janet Reeves, the model?

You know her?

Yeah.

Well, when she checks in, we'll tell her--

oh, no, no, no, no, no.

That was way back, in the first grade.

She probably doesn't even remember.

And now, she's married and famous.

Oh, good.

Well, for a moment, I just thought you were shy.

Hey, don't say anything, ok?

Well, hello.

Welcome aboard.

Thank you.

Mr. and Mrs. Reeves.

Yes, welcome aboard.

Gee.

We're all real big fans of yours.

Thank you.

Let's see.

You're on the promenade deck, cabin 104.

It's up those stairs and to the left.

Thank you.

Enjoy your cruise.

Isaac, you're doing the right thing.

Whenever there's an athletic husband around, always be shy.

I hate burials at sea.

They're so, well, splashy.

You ever feel like Noah on the ark,

watching all the animals come on board two by two?

Well, they're not all two by two.

Now, there's a very definite one.

Obviously, aboard only for rest, not romance.

Your basic, mature, no nonsense glacier.

Well, don't look now, doc, but it looks like your glacier

is headed for a meltdown.

Mr. and Mrs. piermont, you can reach

the aloha deck by going through those doors and up two decks.

How's it going?

Good.

Excuse me.

Yes?

What time does this ship get to deep water?

Well, we should be clear of the harbor in about an hour.

I mean, real, real deep.

About 8:30.

Thank you.

I'll keep my eye on the situation, sir.

Why do you suppose she wants to know

when we get to deep water?

Well, maybe she's just interested in navigation.

Sounds more to me like she's planning

to take the old El divo.

They are not going to be any loud, raucous parties

near our cabin are there?

Oh, no, ma'am.

Good.

Agnes.

See if you can arrange some.

Whoa.

This sure beats motels and running around trying to find

out of the way restaurants.

Well, that's the price you pay for not wanting to be seen.

Well, that's your problem, not mine.

I'd be proud to be seen with you anywhere.

Not too practical, counselor.

I do not think that the grand old law firm of Burton

and boroughs would be thrilled to know

that two of its attorneys were sharing a room.

Kathy, values have changed, you know?

Maybe it's time we came out of the closet

and faced the whole world and the grand old company?

Besides, they keep saying they want

their employees to be happy.

Somehow, I think they'd prefer if we just settled

for the Christmas bonus.

Consider me a fringe benefit.

I have to unpack.

No.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Why bother?

I mean, the cruise is only for five days.

There's no point in us even leaving the room.

Well, I plan on dining and dancing.

You don't need clothes for that.

We can do all that right here.

You know, it's almost our anniversary.

A year ago tomorrow night we went

out for the very first time.

Was that a year ago?

Well, I remember it distinctly.

I'd been with the firm for six months and in love with you

for five.

Now, Tom, don't say that.

Well, it's true.

Now, look, when we started this thing,

we agreed to keep it light and simple.

Right. Light.

Simple.

Yes.

No emotional involvement.

We were simply filling a need for one another.

I was getting over my divorce.

Therapeutic, I remember.

Yes.

That's the deal.

And you agreed to stick to it.

Right.

Ok.

So long as that's clearly understood.

Excuse me.

So I lied.

The ocean's very pretty, isn't it?

Certainly is.

Oh, but don't get fooled by it.

It looks all blue and warm, but it's

really awful terrible cold.

You ok?

I mean, everybody's a little rocky the first day, you know.

It will be different tomorrow.

I know it will.

Ta-dah.

Tell me what you think.

And don't be afraid of overdoing it.

Great, jan.

I knew you'd overdo it.

I can't get the hockey game.

There's nothing on this thing but music.

When you put out to sea, you have

to live under brutal, primitive conditions.

But the rangers are playing Boston.

Oh, honey, they could do without you, but I can't.

Just let me catch this just one game.

Janet: But you can't.

There's only piped in music.

No radios.

I checked with the ship before we booked.

I'm basically an evil person.

So am I. I brought some back up.

But after the game, we will do something.

I promise.

Now, back to you in the booth.

Hi, Mr. Piermont.

Where's the wife?

Oh, she went after her pills, feeling

a little motion sickness.

I'm feeling a little motion sickness myself.

You know, just no modesty anymore.

Well, you know, the girls around

here like to get a little tan.

A little tan?

Those girls are gonna be tan where

they were never tan before.

Or

Agnes, I think it's positively disgusting the things

girls wear today and all to attract men.

Do you know those bathing suits cost over $50 a piece?

What are you doing?

I'm checking to see if I've got an extra $50.

Hold it.

I forgot the limes.

See you later, guys.

Say, Isaac.

What'd I forget now?

What do you think you forgot?

Forget it.

Well, I was just wondering if you'd spoken to Janet Reeves

yet.

That is one gorgeous lady.

Well, have you?

Oh.

No.

I didn't want to bother her.

I'll bother her.

Excuse me, Mrs. Reeves.

Old classmate of yours over there would like to say hello.

Someone here to see you, if you're decent.

Hi.

You don't remember.

That's ok.

I used to sit behind you.

Then, you moved away.

Wait a minute.

Isaac-- Isaac Washington.

We were in Ms. Riley's first grade.

How nice to see you.

It is.

I mean, you do, honest?

You remember me?

We were in a play together.

I was a ladybug.

Susie sunshine garden.

I was a dew drop.

No lines.

I just glistened a lot.

[Phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, yes.

She is. Just a minute.

It's for you.

It's a Mr. Fisher from Los Angeles.

Oh, my agent.

Thank you.

She remembered me.

She really did.

He topped me.

He brought his own radio.

So here I am cruising to romantic Mexico

in a locker room.

He didn't used to be like this.

He was always so attentive, even got furious when another man--

hey, that would do it, another man.

And I think I found one.

Romantic reunion.

Ok.

I'll call you tomorrow.

And a dew drop.

Oh.

Well, it's good to see you again.

Hope you enjoy your cruise.

I know I will now.

Gosh, you know, i--

I think we should probably be doing

it up a little bit for dinner.

Well, maybe tomorrow.

Bill, you finish your coffee.

I've got to go to the cabin for a wrap.

Be just a few minutes.

Hey, what's everybody gonna think?

The truth, that I love you.

Oh, Mrs. Piermont, how is everything going?

Fine.

Oh, good.

By the way, we're in deep water now.

And if you'll notice, the boat doesn't rock anymore, if that's

you were worried about.

It wasn't that.

Oh.

I've got to talk to somebody.

I think I'm losing my nerve.

You see, there's something that I want to throw

overboard and never see again.

What?

Me.

As much as I hate to admit it, you look

sensational, even in clothes.

I was gonna keep this til our official anniversary

tomorrow night, but it makes such an unsightly bulge

in my pocket.

Now, don't say light and simple.

The fact is, I want you to be my wife.

Come on.

Let's do it.

I mean, what the hell?

We love each other.

Let's go find the captain and ask him to marry us.

You are absolutely insane.

Let's be insane together.

Tom--

no, no.

Don't decide now first, we'll have a wonderful dinner,

a few hundred gallons of wine, so you

can think it over very, very carefully before you say yes.

Mrs. Piermont, you weren't really serious about throwing

yourself over--

oh, no.

It's just the old fay piermont I want to toss overboard.

This polyester pant suit, these sensible shoes, these glasses.

I got contact lenses.

And I brought all new clothes.

Starting tonight, there's gonna be a whole new far

out, faysie piermont.

Wow.

Why?

What gave you the idea?

Well, bill and I have been married quite

a while now, almost 20 years.

Of all our friends, we're kind of unique.

We're the only couple that hasn't gotten a divorce.

Most of them had the same complaint,

life had become dull and routine.

Oh, so you're just gonna shake things up a little bit?

Exactly.

Good thinking.

Only now that the time's come, I'm getting cold feet.

After 20 years, how will a man react

when he finds suddenly that he's married

to a-- a different woman?

Well, for what it's worth, I think that the couples that

settled for the routine life are the ones

that made the big mistake.

I say go for it.

Listen, I'll-- I'll join you later, honey, if the game

doesn't go into over time.

Oh, don't worry, love.

I'm sure Isaac will look after me at the party.

Isaac?

An old boyfriend I ran into, Isaac Washington.

Wait a minute.

What is it?

Could he be any relation to Claude Washington,

split end for the redskins?

No.

I don't think so.

[Knocking]

You're in luck.

Radio operator had an extra set.

- Thanks, gopher. - You bet.

That's great.

Now, I won't disturb anyone.

Right.

Janet: Dear sweet Isaac, he obviously

still has a crush on me.

[Inaudible]

Oh, and he has the cutest little cabin.

He is one smooth operator.

The girls used to call him the octopus.

Hands, hands, hands.

Gopher.

What?

Great.

Good.

Got to go.

Isaac?

The octopus?

Excuse me, lady.

Have you see a woman about oh so tall, wearing glasses?

And a polyester pant suit and sensible shoes?

Yeah.

She's gone.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Honey, it's me.

What do you think?

Better than your basic house coat and curlers?

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

I never meant for you to get worried.

I only wanted to toss the old dull clothes and the

old dull fay out of our lives.

And I had to do it like this all at once

or I would've lost my nerve.

You mean, you really threw your clothes--

yeah.

I hate to pollute the pacific with polyester,

but what the hell?

It's my way of announcing that I'm resigning

from the fluff and fold set.

No more casseroles, committees, or carpools.

I figure if I can get a zigzag attachment

for my sewing machine, why not get one for myself

and live it up a little?

Is this what you call a midlife crisis?

Whatever.

Let's make this cruise the start of a goofy, new, unboring life

for both of us.

What do you say, tiger?

Are you with me?

I guess we could give it a try.

For openers, this has got to go.

Huh?

What are you doing?

Fay.

Oh, for Pete's sake, that's a new six dollar tie.

Tomorrow, we'll get you some new outfits.

You are going to be a whole new bill.

And you're gonna love him.

Your cabin or mine?

Well, it's getting late.

We could still wake up the captain.

Why not?

He's probably a light sleeper.

Tom, you know, I had planned on taking this trip alone.

And when you suggested coming along, i--

I know I agreed, but maybe it was being selfish.

Selfish?

Yes.

You see, if you hadn't come and I had been here by myself

I might or might not have met someone else.

With you here, I have no hassles.

All of my needs are filled, intellectually

and romantically.

But all I want to fill is five days, not a lifetime.

Do you love me?

Tom, i-- you're not letting me answer.

I'm trying to influence you.

I'm cute.

I'm bright.

And I'm a very good provider.

Three fellas for the price of one.

And I come with a lifetime guarantee.

Kathy, I know you love me.

Yes, very much.

Then, why don't we--

oh, Tom, please, don't press it.

Let's just settle for what we have.

Ok.

Counselor, I warn you.

I have the rest of the cruise to state my case.

And this is one I won't lose.

Janet: Isaac, please.

Now, don't ruin everything.

This is-- just stop.

You're crushing me.

It's impossible!

My husband.

Let me go.

You're tearing my dress.

Isaac, control yourself.

What was that?

Well, obviously, there's a man out there attacking women.

A man attacking?

Hey, Lakers are leading.

What happened to you?

Must be awful windy up on deck.

Did you have a good time?

Good morning.

Kathy, we have to talk.

Before coffee?

Why won't you marry me?

Before coffee.

Tom, how do I make you understand?

I enjoy every single minute that I

spend with you, totally, but--

but the cold hard truth is I'm 10 years older than you.

All right.

So I'm 10 inches taller than you.

Now, what difference do differences make?

And what fun would life be without any?

Now, the only important thing here

is that we get along great.

That's absolutely true, in this sort of relationship.

But for marriage, a 10 year difference--

but you don't even look 10 minutes older than I do.

As of now, thanks to the old paint pots.

But it will begin to show and more and more every day.

And I'll start to worry about it--

Tom: Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I got an idea.

I'll let myself run down.

No one will ever know that you're older.

I'll know.

You know, for a modern woman, you sure are a hypocrite.

I mean, you're aggressive enough to have

an affair with a younger man, be very modern and very logical

about the relationship.

But what it really comes down to Kathy

is not what we feel for each other,

but what other people think.

How am I doing?

Should I go and get the captain?

He's probably already awake.

We'll get the day rate.

Oh, Tom, I'm so confused.

Really, i-- I need some time to think.

Well, that's better than a rejection.

Look, I got to know where I am.

I'll give you the rest of the trip to make up your mind.

But I want an answer Kathy before we leave this boat.

All right.

All right.

And you won't pressure me?

No pressure.

We'll just relax and have fun.

Absolutely.

But there is one thing I wanted to say.

I can't return this ring.

So if you don't yes, I'm gonna be out of $11.

You got all this stuff on board, huh?

Didn't know they had a blacksmith shot.

You'll get used to it.

You look great.

Maybe.

I'm feeling like I should be chained to a oar.

Come on.

Let's get a drink.

Isaac, that's the couple I was telling you about.

Ah.

May I help you?

Yeah.

Couple of beers.

No beers?

D-u-l-l. Don't bother to pour the beer.

Just throw them over the rail.

Right.

You want to buy a round for the fish.

Not all the fish.

No, just the one wearing my six dollar tie and your pant suit.

We geriatric delinquents would like

to have a scorpion, a beguiling tropical ambrosia made up

of five different rums, served in coconut shells

with floating gardenias.

That ought to make a pretty good eye opener.

Yeah, it better open your eyes or it'll blow your ears off.

You know, I think with this new lifestyle,

I'm gonna need a new liver.

You don't have to go completely crazy.

I just want us to try feeling different about things, inside

listen with five different rums,

we're gonna feel different inside.

That's right.

Now, just keep your hips loose.

Very good.

Let's take a break.

This sure beats bingo.

Oh, yeah.

Level with me, fay, you're not doing this for the insurance,

are you?

I feel absolutely wonderful.

Kathy, I could keep you this way the rest of your life.

Kathy, we are a perfect pair.

Tom, you promised.

I was just--

I was just doing a little commercial.

An attacker?

Oh, yes.

Yes.

It happened right outside my door, in the corridor.

Promenade 105.

Can you describe the man?

Oh, no.

No.

I didn't have my glasses on.

But I can tell you, captain, he was big.

Are you certain?

They're are always big.

Well, I assure you, it won't happen again.

Stop everything.

Get security on this immediately.

Yes, sir.

Oh, and to think, I bought all new clothes for my trip,

in the hopes of finding a nice gentleman.

And what do I find outside my door?

Jack the ripper.

Poor, Janet.

I'd like to get my hands on this guy.

I could be his next victim.

Or me.

Ladies, I need some description.

Well, I told you.

I did not have my glasses on.

But I did hear his name.

His name?

What is it?

What's his name?

His name is Isaac.

Isaac?

Yes, Isaac.

It wasn't me.

I want to believe you.

But I heard Janet call you an octopus.

All hands.

Now, we have a witness.

Hold it.

Just stay away from her, til I try to figure something out.

This could be a big problem.

You're telling me.

Oh.

Ok.

Ok.

Looks like you got a case of disco disk.

An ice pack.

Yeah.

Easy.

Ok.

Try and slow down a little, ok?

That's hard to do when you got a wife

who's trying to get in the guinness book of records.

Let me ask you something, doc.

Sure.

Can two people who've been married

for two, three centuries change their lifestyle overnight?

Well, strange things happen on cruises.

I'll have them put that on my stone.

I've seen lots of humdrum relationships heat up again.

And that's not only for the woman, but for the man too.

Maybe you've heard the saying, salt air improves virility.

That's an old wives tale.

Yeah, well, they ought to know.

Doc, you got a minute?

What?

Is there any chance I might be a werewolf?

I'll see you, doc.

Bye.

What about it?

Could be a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?

On moonlit nights, do I stop in the middle

of mixing Shirley temples and become the midnight mauler?

Isaac, that's not very likely.

But it is possible.

You've seen how forgetful I've become.

Maybe I have split in two.

After all, only a shadowy threshold defines

actuality from phantasmagoria.

I read that in reader's digest.

Isaac, I refuse to believe you have any kind

of a problem like this.

But there was a witness.

Now, a part of me was sacked out in my cabin.

Another part of me was up in the passageway,

chewing on Janet Reeves' ear.

And the worst part of it is, from what I hear,

I was making out great, but I don't even

remember enough to enjoy it.

I still don't think you have any kind of a problem.

Now, wait a minute.

Did this ever happen before?

No.

Well--

but she might be a special case.

Maybe I'm subconsciously acting out my fantasies.

You know, I've been crazy about that Janet

ever since I was seven years old, when I was a dew drop.

You were a dew drop?

Isaac, sit down.

Maybe you do have a problem.

How long have you considered yourself a dew drop?

That was a part I had in a school play.

She was a ladybug.

Oh, then, you have no problem.

Of course, if you considered yourself a ladybug,

then we might be--

doc, I'm going bananas.

Now, if the captain ever finds--

all-- all right.

Relax.

Now, there's got to be an explanation.

I'll speak to the ladybug's husband.

Well, I'm ready.

Like the dress?

Like it?

Well, don't you think that thing's just a little drafty?

All part of the big idea to be daring and live a little.

I figure you'll live a little in that thing all right.

I give you 10 minutes, then you catch pneumonia.

Honey, come on.

Bill, this is our last night.

I want to have fun.

Well, can't you have fun and keep your shirt on?

Bill, don't spoil things.

You've been understanding so far.

Well, listen, sweetheart, just-- just slip this thing

right over your shoulders.

Bill--

at least until you get more hospitalisation coverage, ok?

No.

I want to prove to myself that i'm

truly free of conventional restrictions.

Don't you see?

Wearing this is very important.

How can anything that flimsy be important?

I mean, it just doesn't add up, honey.

Goosebumps and gray hair.

My hair is not gray.

Sweetheart, in your heart, you know,

that under those lovely blond strands are gray roots.

Now, what's wrong with gray?

I mean, that's the color you picked to paint the porch.

Bill, I'm disappointed in you.

I guess you don't understand.

Well, no matter.

I am going to the bar and get a drink.

And then, I am going out to dance, like this.

Are you sure she staged all of that just to get my attention?

It's the only logical answer.

Wow.

I've been a real big dumb jock, spending

all my time at that radio.

Poor kid, having to go through all of that, just--

oh, I feel like such a hell.

Well, you still have time to make up for it.

I'll explain things to the captain.

Thanks, doc.

That's awful nice of you.

Isaac, you know, I'm going cold Turkey on the sports kick.

That beautiful lady of mine is gonna get my apology

and 100% of my attention.

Hey, way to go.

Yeah.

In fact, she's entitled to even more than that.

I mean, she wanted me to be jealous, right?

Well, she can have that too, if you're game.

Yeah.

See, she knows i'm at the gym, right?

Right.

Well, dig this.

Ok.

Care to order a little snack?

N-o.

Bill, bill.

See you in about 20 minutes?

Solid.

Bill: Come on, fay.

Just please, take--

good evening, Mrs. Piermont.

Did you spill something?

No.

And she's not going to either.

Bring me a scorpion, please.

And a sweatshirt.

Just the drink.

One scorpion, hold the sweatshirt.

You can't keep this up, bill.

I guess not.

I mean, why can't you just accept the new Mrs. Piermont?

Why can't you be born again without showing

up in your birthday suit.

Oh, I knew there'd be a quarrel sooner or later.

Ok.

But just slip this over your shoulders.

Until we get up and go dancing.

Come on.

Just give me a little more time to get used to the idea?

But at the door, off it goes.

Kathy, it's our last night.

I know.

I'm waiting for an answer.

Well?

Well, Tom, why can't we go on just as we are?

Because I can't handle it anymore.

And I'm tired of ducking around corners and hiding out.

Kathy, I want to have the feeling

that you're really mine.

Now, bottom line, I want you to commit to me.

I want to, Tom, but I can't.

I can handle our age difference.

Now, but in a few years?

I'd always be worried about what you were thinking.

I'd be thinking how lucky I was to have someone like you.

I wish I could be certain of that.

I'll put it in writing.

It just wouldn't work, Tom.

I've thought about it.

I really have.

But I'll always be dreading the reactions of other people.

Maybe i-- I'm overly sensitive, but i--

I can't help but feeling that people would always be staring

at us, thinking I was some weird old woman

and you were a kinky flake.

Kathy, that wouldn't bother me.

But it would bother me.

I couldn't live with it.

Kathy--

please, Tom, this is difficult enough.

Oh, what am I gonna do without you?

Oh, gee.

I forgot my pipe.

Finish your drink.

I'll meet you outside the lounge.

You will be there?

Absolutely.

Oh, and remember, you promised to keep that on.

The minute you get there, shazam.

Sha-sha-shazam.

Janet: Come in.

Special delivery.

Janet: What's all this?

It's m and m night, mariachis and margaritas.

And since you weren't up there, I decided

to deliver to you down here.

Thank you.

You're more than welcome.

What are you doing?

Well-- I'm guarding this door, ma'am.

I'm just-- I'm protecting the passageway,

because I don't want any strange men to-- to bother you.

Oh, good.

If you catch him, clap him in irons.

I want him chained and helpless.

Me too.

It was very thought of you, Isaac.

And--

is your-- is your husband here?

He's in the gym.

Well, then, why should we waste this time?

Why can't we spend it together?

Huh?

Since you first kissed me, I knew that you were

trying to send me a message. - Message?

No messages.

I never send messages.

I'm a very bad correspondent.

I've been trying to suppress the savages I have,

but when I heard you were screaming

my name up in the corner, I knew that you

felt me the same way too.

Wait a minute.

You've got this all wrong.

I kneel at your feet in worship.

Janet: Oh, wait.

Don't do this.

This is crazy.

Hey.

Janet: I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression.

Uh huh.

Doc, I got to call doc.

Doc.

I got to call.

Dr. Bricker to the promenade deck, please.

Emergency.

You better get out of this room.

I don't want you to see this. - Burt, no.

No. No.

It's not his fault. It's mine.

I was trying to make you think there was another man

and he got the wrong impression.

Then, you mean, everything was just--

i-- I'm sorry, Isaac.

Look, Isaac, I'm sorry too.

Man, I guess I really should've known better,

but I was blinded by jealousy.

Good thing you stopped me in time, baby.

Then, you mean it was him all the time?

You're a fortunate man, Mr. Reeves.

Yeah.

I know, Isaac.

As for me, I return to the silence of my lonely room.

Yeah, I know, Isaac.

Broken, but not defeated, reflecting on two ships that

passed in the night, but never met,

two gentle zephyrs from an innocent past,

shadowy, but ever present, gossamer whispers.

What?

Gossamer whispers?

What is all this baloney?

What do you mean.

Come on.

Come on.

Honey, I felt so bad that all you

had to do just to get through to me

that I felt that you deserved a little production in return.

You clowns, both of you.

All I want is Mr. Reeves in and Kurt gowdy out.

You got it, baby.

And thanks a lot, Isaac.

Where have you been?

What's the emergency?

Did you bring the plasma?

Isaac's gonna need it.

Isaac?

Janet's husband caught them all alone together.

He's gonna break every bone in Isaac's body.

For this you interrupted my bingo game?

Little family squabbles?

Little family squabble?

We're gonna need a pair of eyebrow tweezers

to pick Isaac up.

When are you gonna learn not to mix in?

And you call yourself a healer?

Oh.

What is this?

Well, like you said, it's important we

prove we're unconventional.

Agnes, we're on a floating massage parlor.

You're just being silly.

Well, if I am, then so are you.

Look, I agreed when you said real freedom

comes from inside a person.

Well, if this is your idea of being unconventional, fine.

Ok then, let's go.

You really made your point.

If you were able to go this far, it's working for us.

Ok, my new Mr. Piermont, let's both get into something

more comfortable.

Bye.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Bye bye.

Oh, here comes the lady who we thought

was gonna jump overboard.

Oh, thanks for everything, Julie.

Oh, you're welcome.

Boy, you both sure look different.

Yeah, we are.

I feel like a new man.

So do I. And I've got one.

Bye bye.

Oh, isn't that wonderful?

They're both behaving like a couple of kids.

Well, they sure went to a lot of trouble.

I guess I'm lucky.

I didn't have to do anything.

And I'm already there.

Oh, then, there really wasn't any sex maniac?

Definitely not.

Well, it's been a very interesting voyage.

Captain.

Goodbye.

Agnes.

You're sure there was no sex maniac?

Absolutely.

Come cruising with us again.

Why?

Bye bye.

Bye.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Excuse me.

Have you seen Mr. Bell?

Yes.

He went ashore.

He was the first one off in fact.

Excuse me.

I was afraid I'd missed you.

I had to pick up these two witness.

Witness?

I cabled ahead for them to meet us here.

Madame, would you please tell the court how

long you two have been married?

47 years.

And every year it gets better.

How could that be possible, sir?

Isn't she much older than you?

11 years.

Exhibit a, she is 11 years older.

Now, would your honor please look at these two witnesses

and state for the record, do my grandparents seem happy?

Your grandparents?

The defense rests.

Glad you enjoyed the cruise.

You're ok.

But her husband promised you he was gonna

take you apart, piece by piece.

I heal quickly.

Thanks for everything, Isaac.

I can't wait to see what life is gonna

be like when I don't have to wait for a commercial

to be kissed.

And he won't backslide either, because he

knows he has competition waiting in the wings.

Oh, Burt.

Now, speak right into this.

Here, Isaac, take this.

Here.

It's all your.

You got it.

I'm going cold Turkey.

But I can't accept this.

Oh, yes you can.

Can always give it to somebody you hate.

Bye bye.

So long.

I don't get this, man.

He gave you a present after knowing what went

on between you and his wife?

Open marriage.

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