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1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,918
[Theme - Jack Jones, "the love
boat theme"]
2
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:18,599
Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,595
Come aboard.
4
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:25,691
We're expecting you.
5
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:34,115
And love, like sweetest reward.
6
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,540
Let it flow.
7
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:43,036
It floats back to you.
8
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,956
The love boat.
9
00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:51,005
Soon we'll be
making another run.
10
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:54,602
The love boat.
11
00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:59,099
Promises something for everyone.
12
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:03,064
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
13
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:13,950
And love won't hurt anymore.
14
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:22,332
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
15
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,745
It's love!
16
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,674
Welcome aboard.
17
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:30,296
It's love.
18
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:02,495
Counting heads,
Mr. Washington.
19
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:03,540
No, sir.
Tips.
20
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:04,673
[Laugh]
21
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:05,959
They look like a
fun-loving crowd.
22
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,042
Yes.
23
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:09,546
Oh.
24
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,379
Who belongs to this?
25
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:16,925
"An analysis of
non-euclidean geometry in dio--
26
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:19,061
diophantine equations."
27
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:21,218
Someone brought a little
light reading for the cruise.
28
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,057
Oh, that's mine.
29
00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:22,891
I must have dropped it.
30
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,766
It looks like
difficult reading.
31
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:25,523
Oh, I hope not.
32
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:26,403
Since I'm the one who wrote it.
33
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,309
Oh.
34
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:31,228
Well, it does look fascinating.
35
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,237
Isaac: Yeah.
36
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,698
Don't ruin it for me by
telling me the ending.
37
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,908
I promise.
38
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:36,819
Carol, hi.
39
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:37,736
Julie.
40
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,664
Hey.
41
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:39,831
Hello.
42
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,039
Oh, captain stubing,
Isaac Washington, I
43
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,409
want you meet Carol ketay.
44
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,405
We've already met.
45
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,746
Professor ketay.
46
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,171
Carol was the biggest brain to
ever graduate from Haley high.
47
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,540
Are you still working
at that think tank?
48
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,246
Mhm.
49
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:51,126
Think tank.
50
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,512
That's where people
work together
51
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,630
to solve difficult problems.
52
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:55,796
Right.
53
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:56,934
Isaac: Oh, that's like
when the crew gets
54
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,760
together to work things out.
55
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,675
The only difference is our think
tank usually runs on empty.
56
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,064
[Laughter]
57
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,771
Sometimes ours
runs on empty too,
58
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,481
but we're smart enough not
to let anybody find out.
59
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:07,812
See you later.
60
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:08,186
Bye.
61
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:11,977
Oh.
62
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:12,776
Oh, I'm sorry.
63
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,399
Excuse me.
Are you all right?
64
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:15,145
It's all right.
65
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,146
Yeah.
66
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:16,777
I hope we have nice
weather for the cruise.
67
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,033
Oh, we should.
68
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,485
The synoptic readings indicate
that the barometric pressure
69
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,695
should continue
to hold, and we've
70
00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:25,035
had little barometric variance.
71
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:26,791
That's great.
72
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,253
That's great.
73
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,213
Well, uh, so long.
74
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:36,087
That's a very
impressive young lady.
75
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:37,094
Yeah.
76
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,925
Her only problem is
she's so smart that she
77
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,800
sometimes scares men off.
78
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,757
Well, thank goodness you
don't have to worry about that.
79
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:52,771
I won't fight you
for her, captain.
80
00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:55,317
I know she's your type.
81
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,031
She may not be
my type, but she
82
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,400
does happen to be my passenger.
83
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:04,873
Hello.
84
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,873
I'm Mrs. Gertrude
Benson, and I wonder if--
85
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,825
are you with the ship?
86
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,286
Welcome aboard, Mrs. Benson.
87
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,046
I'm captain stubing,
and this is Dr. Bricker.
88
00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:14,838
How do you do?
89
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,341
How do you do?
90
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:20,472
I wonder if you could tell me
how to get to promenade 342.
91
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,551
Not only can I tell you
how to get to your cabin,
92
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,097
it will be my personal
pleasure to escort you.
93
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:26,101
Hold it!
Hold it!
94
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,312
Just a second here.
95
00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:31,192
This happens to be a married
lady you're mauling here,
96
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,480
my wife.
97
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:35,983
Now, you just keep your filthy
lecherous mitts to yourself.
98
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,237
You're going to wind up
with a knuckle sandwich.
99
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:40,318
I was just going to
show her to her cabin.
100
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,065
You were going to what?
101
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,196
I was just going
to show her to--
102
00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:47,002
listen to me, sailor
boy, and listen good, huh?
103
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,538
You lay your hand
on this lady again--
104
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:53,381
I catch you taking just a
sneaky peek in her direction,
105
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,289
you're going to
wind up shark bait.
106
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,458
Now, just a moment, sir.
107
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,547
That goes for
you too, four-eyes.
108
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:05,051
Come on, toots.
109
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,058
Degenerates.
110
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:12,353
Like I said, I won't
fight you for her.
111
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,647
You can set the bags
right down here please.
112
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:15,901
Oh, si, senora.
113
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,282
Thank you.
114
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,028
Hello.
115
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,109
- Hello.
- Hi.
116
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,033
Hello.
117
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,571
Floyd and Alice
gaines, and son Keith.
118
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:22,364
Hi, Keith.
119
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,567
Hi.
120
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:24,816
Hey, would you like to look
around while we check in?
121
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,447
- Sure, dad.
- Ok.
122
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:28,494
Let's see, gaines.
123
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,828
Hi.
124
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:33,623
Oh, hi, kid.
125
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:35,748
If I'm a kid, you
must have been traveling
126
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,545
on the senior citizen discount.
127
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,299
But you sure look
young for your age.
128
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,591
Did you have a face
lift or something?
129
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:43,965
Who are you?
130
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,762
I'm the captain's
daughter, Vicki.
131
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:47,926
Captain's daughter.
132
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,934
Could you show me some secret
parts of the ship later?
133
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,437
Of course.
134
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,149
Man (on pa): Last call.
135
00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:56,268
All visitors ashore please.
136
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:56,395
All visitors ashore.
137
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,815
[Horn blaring]
138
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,643
Hi, Isaac.
139
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,306
Hi.
140
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:38,904
Tell me has Carol been sitting
by herself all afternoon?
141
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,271
Nah.
142
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,318
I think she's been walking
by herself for most of it.
143
00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:45,112
That's no way to
spend a vacation.
144
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:52,120
I think she's about
to reel in a live one.
145
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,713
Oh, good old doc.
146
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:55,709
Hi.
147
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:56,750
Writing a letter home?
148
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:57,173
Daily crossword.
149
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,500
Crossword.
150
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,254
I'm a crossword freak.
151
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:00,996
Mind if I help.
152
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,337
Not at all.
153
00:07:02,421 --> 00:07:03,051
Hm.
154
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,421
I need a five letter for kerf.
155
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,601
Kerf.
156
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:10,679
With a k?
- Right.
157
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:11,683
Notch.
158
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:12,014
Right.
159
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:12,678
Notch.
160
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,555
Ok.
161
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,652
Another five letter
word for obsidian.
162
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:19,308
Obsidian.
163
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,767
Obsidian.
164
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:21,817
Look.
165
00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:24,149
Why don't I let
you do this alone?
166
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,855
You wouldn't have any fun if
I gave you all the answers.
167
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,695
Excuse me.
168
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:29,201
Got it.
Glass.
169
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,282
Glass.
Right.
170
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:31,617
Aren't you glad I
didn't tell you?
171
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:41,746
If she can
discourage doc, she's
172
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:45,376
going to be mighty lonely.
173
00:07:45,464 --> 00:07:46,884
You're lucky.
174
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,256
This whole ship is yours.
175
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:50,012
Well, not quite.
176
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:53,064
Even though my father's the
captain, I can't just say, dad,
177
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,219
can I borrow the ship tonight?
178
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,558
Hey, can we go in there?
179
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,023
Don't you see the sign?
180
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,943
It says "positively
no admittance."
181
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,022
I know.
182
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,356
There's never
anything interesting
183
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:07,071
in a room with a sign that
says, "come in and look around."
184
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,073
Come on.
185
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,236
I thought I was supposed to
be showing you around the ship.
186
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:21,209
(Whispering) We
shouldn't be here.
187
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,922
Well, we're here now.
188
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,923
I have an idea.
189
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,215
If we leave now, we
won't be here now.
190
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,049
This is fun.
191
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,553
It's like an adventure.
192
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,386
Well--
193
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,930
come on.
194
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:34,513
[Clatter]
195
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,517
[Whimper] Was that you?
196
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:37,229
No.
197
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,018
I thought it was you.
198
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,390
It wasn't me.
199
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,267
But if you hear teeth
chattering, that's me.
200
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:01,828
Hi, gang.
201
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,326
Gopher.
202
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:07,627
Gopher, you see that
girl over there?
203
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:08,633
Yeah.
204
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:09,884
Listen.
205
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,086
She's really very nice, and
she's an old friend of mine.
206
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:13,296
And I'd really appreciate it--
207
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,216
say no more.
208
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,103
You want me to charm her, right?
209
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,100
Give her some kicks.
210
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:20,101
Put a thrill on her
otherwise humdrum life?
211
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:21,064
You got it.
212
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,152
Afternoon, miss.
213
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:32,905
Burl Smith at your service,
assistant purser and a pisces.
214
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:33,659
Nice to meet you.
215
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:34,239
I'm Carol ketay.
216
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:35,833
Hey, wait a minute.
217
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:36,408
Don't tell me.
218
00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:37,992
Legal secretary, right?
219
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,287
Uh.
No.
220
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,450
Beautician?
221
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:41,788
Uh, no.
222
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:44,172
Ah, wait a minute,
dental technician.
223
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:48,460
Nuclear physicist.
224
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:49,296
More power to you.
225
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,931
She's getting better.
226
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,684
He lasted two seconds
longer than doc.
227
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,199
It's so dark.
228
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,531
Can you see?
229
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:17,195
No.
230
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,993
But we'll get used to it.
231
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:20,196
I'm scared.
232
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:20,656
There's nothing
to be scared of.
233
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:28,344
[Clatter]
234
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,218
What are you doing here?
235
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,050
Who are you?
236
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,045
I am--
237
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,796
I am Luis.
238
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,468
He carried our
luggage on the ship.
239
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:43,387
I'll bet he's a stowaway.
240
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,976
I want to go to
Mexico to see my mother.
241
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,152
Please don't tell on me.
242
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:48,860
Don't worry.
243
00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,479
Nobody's gonna tell on you.
244
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:51,276
Will we?
245
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:58,066
My father's the captain.
246
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,407
I can't hide a stowaway
from my father.
247
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:08,211
Oh, excuse me, miss.
248
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,292
You're getting pretty red.
249
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,458
You can get a nasty burn
if you don't use lotion.
250
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,505
Oh, doctor.
251
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:18,803
Thank you, but I do have lotion.
252
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:19,926
All right.
Great.
253
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:20,392
Great.
Use it.
254
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,261
Oh, doctor.
255
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,018
If you don't mind, I can't quite
reach the backs of my legs.
256
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:28,101
Well, I'm sure Mr. Benson
would prefer doing it.
257
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,107
But he's not here.
258
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:30,899
He isn't?
259
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,782
Oh.
260
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,030
Thank you.
261
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,073
You're welcome.
262
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,623
Well, where is he?
263
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,413
He's on the fantail,
skeet shooting.
264
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,997
[Gunshot]
265
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:48,792
Oh.
266
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:57,218
You touch that lady again,
you're gonna need a doctor.
267
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,839
[Gunshots]
268
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:18,235
And so it is hereby decreed
that the three mortal beings
269
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:23,490
here assembled do solemnly
swear to take this blood oath
270
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:27,706
and remain steadfast friends
throughout their entire lives.
271
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:30,918
Do we really have to seal
our friendship in blood?
272
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,710
A simple handshake won't do?
273
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:35,804
With blood we're
blood brothers.
274
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,010
With a handshake we're
only handshake brothers.
275
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:39,131
Now give me your pin.
276
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,097
Everybody hold out your fingers.
277
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,991
[Wince]
278
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,020
We got to get Luis
something to eat.
279
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:39,237
How we gonna do that?
280
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:43,068
Leave it to me.
281
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:43,405
Gopher.
282
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,739
What?
283
00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:45,913
Have you seen Carol?
284
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,121
Oh, well, gee.
285
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,041
Isn't she in her room splitting
an atom bomb or something?
286
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,579
Julie, why didn't
you tell me that she
287
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,083
is a nuclear physicist?
288
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,294
What difference
would that have made?
289
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,754
Oh, heck none.
290
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:55,383
I just would have
brushed up on my latest
291
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,249
copy of science comics.
292
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:03,428
Gee.
293
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,139
Poor Carol.
294
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,429
Can you imagine me
feeling sorry for her?
295
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,934
Kinda like daffy duck
feeling sorry for Einstein.
296
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:12,477
[Inaudible]
297
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,890
Excuse me, gopher.
298
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,278
Hi.
299
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,650
Hi.
300
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:25,026
This certainly is
a beautiful ship.
301
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:25,914
Yeah.
302
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:26,450
You're really
having a good time.
303
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,992
I can tell.
304
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:29,235
I wanted a rest.
305
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:30,326
Yeah.
306
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,161
Well, part of my
job is to make sure
307
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,496
that all the
passengers are enjoying
308
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,041
themselves, so come on.
309
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:35,754
Where?
310
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:36,963
Well, no questions.
311
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,882
Just come on.
312
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:39,631
No napkin.
313
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,632
Thank you.
314
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:44,802
Here, dad.
315
00:14:44,883 --> 00:14:46,183
You have to have some
of this French bread.
316
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,220
Why?
317
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,303
Is it especially
good this evening?
318
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,967
Well, no.
319
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,976
It's just that I think you look
so much better since you've
320
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:54,518
gained so much weight.
321
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:58,022
[Mumbling] No thank you.
322
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,783
Vicki, what happened
to your finger?
323
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:07,447
Oh, it's nothing.
324
00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:08,371
You know, paper cut.
325
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,714
Keith, what happened
to your finger?
326
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,418
Um.
327
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:17,458
I cut myself too.
328
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:18,501
Paper cut.
329
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,714
Really?
330
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,503
You mean you both cut
yourself with paper
331
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,797
in the exact same place?
332
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,131
That's very strange.
333
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,176
We did it on
the xerox machine.
334
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:33,271
Two copies.
335
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,015
You all right?
336
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:34,769
Oh, yes.
337
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:35,520
I'm all right.
338
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,521
Why do you ask?
339
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,272
You suddenly stopped smiling.
340
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:42,265
And I was just telling Keith
how happy you seem lately,
341
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,188
which really proves fat
people really are jolly.
342
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,237
[Laughter]
343
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:53,411
[Clears throat] I'm really
not very hungry this evening.
344
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,624
Here.
345
00:15:54,703 --> 00:15:55,543
Let me just take that
back to the kitchen
346
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,621
and get it out of your way.
347
00:15:58,707 --> 00:15:59,537
May I be excused?
348
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,745
I wouldn't want a
young lady to have
349
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,004
to carry a heavy plate of
food like that all by herself.
350
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:12,547
Oh no.
351
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:13,718
Not this table.
352
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:14,846
Please.
- Who?
353
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:15,812
Not him.
No.
354
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:16,561
Who?
355
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,392
Who?
356
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,886
Is this table 17?
357
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:19,647
Yes.
358
00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:20,398
No.
359
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,899
Table 17.
360
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:22,730
Right.
361
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,435
Oh.
362
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,066
Allow me, my gem.
363
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:27,572
Thank you, sweetheart.
364
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,243
There you are.
365
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,161
Thank you.
366
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:31,950
It's ok.
367
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,997
- Good evening.
- Evening.
368
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:37,789
Evening.
369
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:38,501
Menus.
370
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:39,580
Oh my goodness.
371
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,915
What an extensive menu.
372
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,250
How will I ever decide, darling?
373
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,706
I'd be happy to make
a suggestion to madame.
374
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,007
Oh, would you?
375
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:48,840
Huh?
376
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:51,554
Well, knock it
off, hash-slinger.
377
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:52,505
The woman belongs to me.
378
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,814
I'm the only guy that
makes suggestions.
379
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,008
You got it?
380
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:56,928
Yes, sir.
381
00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:59,385
And keep your
thumb out of my soap.
382
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:03,106
Perhaps, a little filet mignon
for my pretty little filly,
383
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,518
huh?
384
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:05,606
I don't know
about steak, dear.
385
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:06,321
Um.
386
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,070
Huh?
387
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,031
What do you recommend, doctor?
388
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:15,621
Ah, I would recommend
you ask gopher.
389
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,491
All right.
390
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,197
What would you suggest?
391
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,497
Well, the stuffed
breast looks good.
392
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,251
You little punk.
393
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:23,963
I meant the veal.
394
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,042
The stuffed breast of veal.
395
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,167
Veal, huh?
396
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:26,883
Yeah.
397
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,592
Sure you did.
398
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:33,262
I ought to belt you right in
the chops, you little nerd.
399
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:34,303
Come on, precious.
400
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:35,716
We'll dine in our cabin.
401
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,264
Oh, all right.
402
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:38,057
Creeps.
403
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:44,561
That's the last time I
have dinner with a vip.
404
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:45,686
Vip?
405
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,403
Violently insane paranoid.
406
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:56,990
This is going to be
a knock out on you.
407
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:57,946
Oh, come on, Julie.
408
00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,785
The dress I have on
is perfectly nice.
409
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,421
It's comfortable, and
it's just been pressed.
410
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,209
You're talking comfortable.
411
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:08,132
I'm talking sexy.
412
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,422
Well, the only
way you're going
413
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,625
to get a man with that dress
is if you tie him up in it.
414
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,425
So who told you
I wanted a man?
415
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:16,349
Carol, you're talking
to me, Julie McCoy.
416
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:17,718
The girl who had to unstick
your head from the transom
417
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,425
above the boys locker room.
418
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,636
We were kids then.
419
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:24,096
And now that
we're all grown up,
420
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:27,016
we never think about men, do we?
421
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:29,105
Well, I admit that
there are moments
422
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:33,401
when visions of the male
animal do invade my thoughts.
423
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,817
You mean sometimes
you are hot to trot?
424
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:38,026
You have a way with
words, don't you?
425
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:39,406
That's the trouble isn't it?
426
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,413
I mean I'm just not good
at social situations.
427
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:41,745
I'm not good at small talk.
428
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,959
I'm not.
429
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,869
Well, I think that's
because your small talk
430
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,128
goes over most people's head.
431
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,960
It's just the curse of
having an IQ of 150.
432
00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:52,876
160.
433
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,545
What do you want me to do?
434
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,383
Have a lobotomy?
435
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:56,297
No.
436
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,795
But I think we could face facts.
437
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:04,637
Right now, you talk
smart, but you dress dumb.
438
00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:08,556
I suggest we
reverse the process.
439
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,397
Dress smart.
440
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:11,572
Talk dumb?
441
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,650
I think it'll work.
442
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:16,025
Luis.
443
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,243
Gracias.
Gracias.
444
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:17,992
You're welcome.
445
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:18,953
You're welcome.
446
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:19,832
I was so hungry.
447
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:20,738
Gracias.
448
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,496
Hey, Luis, we're
all blood brothers.
449
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:24,499
Blood brothers don't
have to thank each other.
450
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,250
That's right.
451
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:27,791
We just bleed for each other.
452
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,665
My mother will be so
surprised to see me.
453
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,751
How long has it been
since you've seen her?
454
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,088
Long time.
455
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,013
Since I came to California
to live with my uncle.
456
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,841
Well, you'll see
your mother soon.
457
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,597
I dreamed of
going back to Mexico
458
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,259
and bringing my mother
wonderful presents.
459
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:46,937
But maybe she'll be
satisfied with just me.
460
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,609
Maybe your mother can
have you and the presents.
461
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,277
Oh, good evening, captain.
462
00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,743
Good evening, Mrs. Benson.
463
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:00,623
Where's your husband?
464
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:07,164
I'm about to meet Milton
in the, um, acapulco lounge.
465
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,457
Oh, please.
Allow me.
466
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:08,790
It's on the riviera deck.
467
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:09,634
Oh.
468
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,418
Oops my watch.
469
00:20:11,501 --> 00:20:13,001
Thank you.
470
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:13,746
No.
471
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:14,297
Don't go.
472
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,469
I'm stuck on you.
473
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:17,508
What?
474
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,301
What was that you
said to my wife?
475
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:20,644
Oh, I'm sorry,
Mr. Benson, but--
476
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:21,849
listen, skippy.
477
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:25,969
How'd you like to have an
anchor stuck up your nose, huh?
478
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,478
Come on, ginger.
479
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,769
Let's you and me go and do
a little cheek to cheek.
480
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,614
Hey, buzz off, bellhop.
481
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,070
Before you start
your own dead sea.
482
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:35,860
[Fabric rips]
483
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:36,653
Sick.
484
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:39,822
Uh.
485
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,422
Hey, what's the
matter with you guys?
486
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,178
Instead of just standing
around doing nothing,
487
00:21:01,259 --> 00:21:03,929
you could be having a great
time with Julie's friend Carol.
488
00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:05,062
Oh yeah.
489
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,598
Think of the fun you can
have with a logarithm table.
490
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:07,642
Please.
491
00:21:07,724 --> 00:21:09,524
I've had my share
of mercy dates.
492
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:12,021
Mhm.
493
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:12,814
Mercy date.
494
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,862
Mercy, mercy, mercy.
495
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:26,541
Well, hi, Carol.
496
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:29,288
Great to see you
again, miss ketay.
497
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:30,501
You'll excuse us, guys.
498
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:32,080
We'd rather not mingle
with the hired help.
499
00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:32,865
Carol.
500
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:40,554
How about it, baby?
501
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:42,722
I do a mean rumba.
502
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:44,761
It's too bad they're
playing a bossa nova.
503
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,005
Can't you hear that complex
of asymmetrical rhythm
504
00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:49,216
superimposed over
four-four beat?
505
00:21:49,307 --> 00:21:50,927
That's very interesting.
506
00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,898
Let me write that down
before I forget it.
507
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,019
Yeah.
508
00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:58,935
Carol, you're forgetting
t-d, talk dumb.
509
00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,617
Excuse me.
510
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,739
Um.
511
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:10,746
This may sound a little
corny, but have we met before?
512
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:13,579
Before what?
513
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:15,035
Uh.
514
00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:17,455
Would you like to dance?
515
00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:18,594
Alone?
516
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:18,880
No.
517
00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:20,512
No.
518
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:20,799
With me.
519
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:21,341
Oh.
520
00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:25,638
Yes.
521
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:45,243
Oh, excuse me.
522
00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:46,412
Could you help me please?
523
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,030
My door doesn't seem
to shut properly.
524
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:48,776
Oh.
525
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:49,577
Of course.
526
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:56,714
Aren't you Mrs. Benson,
whose husband is such a--
527
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:57,752
devoted man?
528
00:22:57,834 --> 00:22:59,544
Yes.
529
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:00,338
Yes, I am.
530
00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:01,670
But he's in the casino now.
531
00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:03,665
Oh.
532
00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:06,127
Well, in that case, uh,
I'll see what I can do.
533
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,598
Thank you.
534
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:11,348
Besides, he's no good
at mechanical things.
535
00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:11,771
Except guns of course.
536
00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:14,308
Guns?
537
00:23:14,392 --> 00:23:15,852
He manufactures them.
538
00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:18,106
[Knocking]
539
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:20,359
(Whispering) I
can't get it open.
540
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,270
What are we gonna do?
541
00:23:21,358 --> 00:23:22,938
Oh, what are we going to do?
542
00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:27,316
Is that you in
there, [inaudible]??
543
00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:28,195
Yes, dear.
544
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,332
Oh no.
545
00:23:32,410 --> 00:23:32,450
I don't want to die.
546
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:41,589
Oh.
547
00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:42,340
Hey.
548
00:23:42,420 --> 00:23:43,420
Hello.
549
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:43,835
You, uh-- you're all alone.
550
00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:45,512
Aren't you?
551
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:47,090
I thought I heard voices.
552
00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:47,675
Voices?
553
00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:50,349
[Giggle] No, sweetheart.
554
00:23:50,428 --> 00:23:51,848
I'm all alone.
555
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:52,890
Yes.
556
00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:54,273
Oh, don't-- don't shut the door.
557
00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:55,179
No.
558
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:57,687
The um-- handle--
the knob came off.
559
00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:57,979
Yeah.
560
00:23:58,061 --> 00:23:59,811
Huh.
561
00:23:59,896 --> 00:24:01,476
Well, why don't you just go
let the maintenance know,
562
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:02,185
my dumpling.
563
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,444
Oh, I didn't think of that.
564
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:03,975
You can handle
those little jerks.
565
00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:05,687
Yes, dear.
566
00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,897
Sure you can.
567
00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:08,738
Mrs. Benson: What
are you going to do?
568
00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:10,032
I'm just going
to take a shower.
569
00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:12,325
No, no, no.
Stop.
570
00:24:12,409 --> 00:24:13,239
What?
Why?
571
00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:14,196
Mrs. Benson: Turn it off.
- Why?
572
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,326
What's wrong?
573
00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,872
The purser just phoned,
and there's an emergency.
574
00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:20,786
There's, um, a terrible
shortage of water.
575
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:22,126
Turn off the water.
576
00:24:26,506 --> 00:24:28,966
There's a shortage of
water, and you're not going
577
00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:30,090
to be able to take a shower.
- What?
578
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:30,677
No.
579
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:31,550
Not until tomorrow.
580
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:34,216
Well, this some
lousy cruise we're on.
581
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:35,056
Oh, certainly is.
582
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:35,640
Yes.
583
00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:36,984
Ship's falling apart.
584
00:24:37,058 --> 00:24:38,268
Yeah.
585
00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:40,651
The crew's a
bunch of sex fiends.
586
00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:43,109
Here we are in the middle of the
ocean, and we run out of water.
587
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:43,690
I know.
588
00:24:43,773 --> 00:24:45,573
It's just so stupid.
589
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:47,030
I agree with you, sweetheart.
590
00:24:54,492 --> 00:24:56,702
Did you really play
college football?
591
00:24:56,786 --> 00:24:58,406
Yeah.
592
00:24:58,496 --> 00:24:59,746
I was a wide receiver.
593
00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,421
Oh.
594
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:06,050
You must have lost a lot
of weight since then.
595
00:25:06,129 --> 00:25:07,549
You know, you're terrific.
596
00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:11,721
And you're so naturally
funny that, well, i--
597
00:25:11,801 --> 00:25:16,471
sometimes I forget how
incredibly beautiful you are.
598
00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:19,056
I--
599
00:25:19,142 --> 00:25:19,852
aye, aye.
600
00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:01,427
What's that?
601
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:02,768
(Squeaky voice) Maintenance.
602
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:11,735
Good night, captain.
603
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:28,001
You again?
604
00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:29,586
Why don't you get
married, pervert?
605
00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:36,721
Pervert?
606
00:26:53,236 --> 00:26:54,526
Hey, where you going?
607
00:26:54,612 --> 00:26:56,662
I got to take care
of some business.
608
00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:57,120
Well, what about Luis?
609
00:26:57,198 --> 00:26:58,738
Well, later.
610
00:26:58,825 --> 00:26:59,525
Later.
611
00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:07,633
So things went
well last night, huh?
612
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:09,129
Talk about an understatement.
613
00:27:09,210 --> 00:27:10,380
Hm.
614
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:13,632
[Giggle] Well, it's great
seeing you so happy?
615
00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:14,915
Who do you want to meet today?
616
00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:17,218
Will you hold it a minute?
617
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:19,012
I'd like to get to
know Chris better.
618
00:27:19,095 --> 00:27:20,885
I mean I think we
have a lot in common
619
00:27:20,972 --> 00:27:22,272
if I can ever get beyond.
620
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,099
(Sexy voice) To me
the two greatest
621
00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:26,444
men of the 20th
century are Albert
622
00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:30,729
Einstein and Chuck barris.
623
00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:34,395
And not necessarily
in that order.
624
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:35,396
Well, don't knock it.
625
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:37,407
Talking dumb seems to
have worked so far.
626
00:27:44,829 --> 00:27:46,369
Morning.
627
00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:47,536
Oh, good morning.
628
00:27:47,624 --> 00:27:50,754
No matter how much you insist,
I really must be going.
629
00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:51,495
Td.
630
00:27:58,259 --> 00:27:58,839
Td?
631
00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:00,467
It's short for toodledo.
632
00:28:03,598 --> 00:28:07,098
You know, after I
left you last night, i--
633
00:28:07,185 --> 00:28:07,935
I couldn't sleep a wink.
634
00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:09,099
You know why?
635
00:28:09,187 --> 00:28:11,557
You had liver and
onions for dinner?
636
00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:12,358
No.
637
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:13,150
It's you.
638
00:28:15,777 --> 00:28:18,527
You are perfect for my libido.
639
00:28:18,613 --> 00:28:19,493
Oh.
640
00:28:19,572 --> 00:28:21,412
Well, personally I
prefer American cars.
641
00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:30,253
Isn't this sun wonderful?
642
00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:31,133
Yeah.
643
00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:33,459
But you know too
much sunlight it's--
644
00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:37,005
it's very bad for you.
645
00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:40,930
We should go to someplace
where it's shady.
646
00:28:41,010 --> 00:28:44,180
Did you have
any place in mind?
647
00:28:44,264 --> 00:28:46,774
Well, my cabin.
648
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:47,850
That sounds pretty shady.
649
00:28:53,606 --> 00:28:55,316
So much money.
650
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:59,070
First, I'll buy my
mother a pretty dress.
651
00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:01,114
But where'd you
get all the money?
652
00:29:01,197 --> 00:29:02,777
Are you kidding?
653
00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:04,156
That's just some
loose change I came
654
00:29:04,242 --> 00:29:06,702
across when I was changing from
one pair of paints to another.
655
00:29:06,786 --> 00:29:07,616
Boy.
656
00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:09,664
Am I lucky to find
a friend like you?
657
00:29:09,747 --> 00:29:11,957
Hey, we're not just friends.
658
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:12,831
We're blood brothers.
659
00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:20,509
Mr. Gaines, I can't
say it's never happened,
660
00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:21,302
but it is rare for
money to be stolen
661
00:29:21,384 --> 00:29:22,474
from a passenger's cabin.
662
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:25,892
You said $200 was taken, sir.
663
00:29:25,972 --> 00:29:27,972
$200 exactly.
664
00:29:28,057 --> 00:29:30,847
You've got a thief on your ship.
665
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:31,685
Hi.
666
00:29:31,769 --> 00:29:32,599
What's up?
667
00:29:32,687 --> 00:29:34,057
It's nothing that
concerns you, honey.
668
00:29:34,147 --> 00:29:36,357
A robbery on ship
concerns everybody.
669
00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:37,401
What do you plan to do, captain?
670
00:29:37,484 --> 00:29:38,994
Well, I'm sure you
realize that investigating
671
00:29:39,068 --> 00:29:43,158
something like this among the
passengers is very delicate.
672
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:46,079
Well, maybe you better begin
by investigating the crew.
673
00:29:46,159 --> 00:29:47,409
Keith: Oh, the
crew didn't do it.
674
00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:50,004
Floyd gaines: Hey, how do you
know the crew didn't do it?
675
00:29:50,079 --> 00:29:53,119
Well, it's just that
the crew seems so nice.
676
00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:55,538
You've raised a very
bright son, Mr. Gaines.
677
00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:57,087
He's right.
678
00:29:57,170 --> 00:29:58,630
The crew is nice.
679
00:29:58,713 --> 00:29:59,763
Nice?
680
00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:04,049
I can vouch for the honesty
of my crew, Mr. Gaines.
681
00:30:04,135 --> 00:30:04,715
Don't worry.
682
00:30:04,802 --> 00:30:05,932
We'll find the guilty party.
683
00:30:09,140 --> 00:30:11,230
Ah, this looks like
a nice spot, darling.
684
00:30:11,309 --> 00:30:11,559
All right.
685
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:12,893
Uh-huh.
686
00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:13,017
A little sun and salt air.
687
00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:17,693
Yes.
688
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:20,784
Oh, you always-- always
pick the perfect place.
689
00:30:20,860 --> 00:30:22,570
[Chuckle] What a woman.
690
00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:24,244
Not only gorgeous
but grateful as well.
691
00:30:24,322 --> 00:30:25,992
Oh, milty.
692
00:30:26,074 --> 00:30:28,414
There you are, my treasure.
693
00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:29,833
[Groan]
694
00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:32,746
Ooh.
695
00:30:32,830 --> 00:30:35,580
Oh no, no, no, my sweetness.
696
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:36,327
Huh?
697
00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:37,787
Cover up.
698
00:30:37,877 --> 00:30:38,917
Got to cover up.
699
00:30:39,003 --> 00:30:41,463
The form divine is
not for these swine.
700
00:30:41,548 --> 00:30:42,628
Oh.
701
00:30:42,715 --> 00:30:43,675
Now, on the high
seas a body like yours
702
00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:47,428
would drive men
stark raving mad.
703
00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:48,432
Good afternoon.
704
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:49,473
Good afternoon.
705
00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:53,386
Ahh, snoopy doo.
706
00:30:53,476 --> 00:30:55,136
Ah, sneaking a
little peak were you?
707
00:30:55,228 --> 00:30:56,098
Huh?
708
00:30:56,187 --> 00:30:56,977
I caught you.
709
00:30:57,063 --> 00:30:57,903
I caught you.
710
00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:59,441
You slimy swab
jockeys are all alike.
711
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:01,484
A bunch of peeping Toms.
712
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:02,688
Yeah.
Go on.
713
00:31:02,777 --> 00:31:03,857
Go on.
Run along.
714
00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:05,815
You should be up there
steering that barge.
715
00:31:05,905 --> 00:31:06,735
You know, popeye.
716
00:31:17,250 --> 00:31:22,920
Just take two aspirins and
call me anytime you want.
717
00:31:28,177 --> 00:31:30,007
Adam.
718
00:31:30,096 --> 00:31:34,016
Adam, you've got to give
me something for my nerves.
719
00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:35,850
This morning Mr. Gaines accused
one of the crew of stealing.
720
00:31:35,935 --> 00:31:38,605
And after that, Mr. Benson
accused me of playing
721
00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:39,768
around with his wife.
722
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:41,816
You don't have to tell me
anything about Mr. Benson.
723
00:31:41,899 --> 00:31:44,189
The nut mistook me for a skeet.
724
00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:46,317
That man's insane, isn't he?
725
00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:49,624
Well, he's just very
jealous about his wife.
726
00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:50,699
Both: Insane.
727
00:31:50,783 --> 00:31:52,743
He should be in
a straitjacket.
728
00:31:52,827 --> 00:31:54,537
Merrill, why don't you go
into my examination room?
729
00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:55,501
Take your clothes off.
730
00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:56,500
I'll have a look at you.
731
00:31:56,581 --> 00:31:58,921
Probably all you need
is a mild tranquilizer.
732
00:31:59,000 --> 00:31:59,880
[Knocking]
733
00:31:59,959 --> 00:32:01,339
Ugh!
734
00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:04,839
Maybe a strong tranquilizer.
735
00:32:04,922 --> 00:32:07,682
Doctor, I think I've
broken out with a rash.
736
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:08,339
No.
737
00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:09,426
It's just a sunburn.
738
00:32:09,510 --> 00:32:10,680
I warned you.
739
00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:12,432
Well, it doesn't look
just like a sunburn.
740
00:32:12,513 --> 00:32:14,103
It looks exactly
like a sunburn.
741
00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:14,852
Look.
742
00:32:14,932 --> 00:32:15,892
Here.
743
00:32:15,975 --> 00:32:18,015
Take this ointment, and
call me in the morning.
744
00:32:18,102 --> 00:32:18,692
Well, aren't you
going to examine me?
745
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:20,230
Look.
It's all over.
746
00:32:20,313 --> 00:32:21,313
[Knocking]
747
00:32:21,397 --> 00:32:22,897
Mr. Benson: You in there, Trudy?
748
00:32:22,982 --> 00:32:24,362
You're right.
749
00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:26,032
It's all over.
750
00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:28,660
If he's hiding in
there, he's a dead duck.
751
00:32:28,738 --> 00:32:29,448
Let's get started.
752
00:32:29,530 --> 00:32:29,860
[Gasp]
753
00:32:29,947 --> 00:32:31,567
[Mock gasp]
754
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:32,528
Now, wait.
755
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:33,737
I can explain.
756
00:32:33,826 --> 00:32:34,576
What?
757
00:32:34,661 --> 00:32:37,161
You too, butcher boy?
758
00:32:37,246 --> 00:32:38,326
Wh-- what is this?
759
00:32:38,414 --> 00:32:39,624
An orgy?
760
00:32:39,707 --> 00:32:40,377
Now, listen.
761
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:41,668
I'm a doctor.
762
00:32:41,751 --> 00:32:43,211
Your wife came to see
me because of a rash.
763
00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:44,134
Oh, sure, sure.
764
00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:47,132
So what's the head
monkey doing here?
765
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:48,755
We'll, he's here
for a checkup.
766
00:32:48,841 --> 00:32:49,511
No.
767
00:32:49,592 --> 00:32:49,972
No, doctor.
768
00:32:50,051 --> 00:32:51,761
No explanations.
769
00:32:51,844 --> 00:32:53,554
For the last time, Mr. Benson, I
am not running after your wife.
770
00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:56,808
I am trying to run this ship.
771
00:32:56,891 --> 00:32:57,731
Hm.
772
00:32:57,809 --> 00:32:59,559
In the nude, snoop?
773
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,064
Huh?
774
00:33:01,145 --> 00:33:01,975
A little massage time?
- No.
775
00:33:02,063 --> 00:33:02,903
Please, Milton.
No violence.
776
00:33:02,980 --> 00:33:04,520
You promised.
- All right.
777
00:33:04,607 --> 00:33:05,357
I know.
778
00:33:05,441 --> 00:33:05,821
Sorry.
779
00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:07,110
Yes, I promised.
780
00:33:07,193 --> 00:33:08,443
And I kept it twice with--
781
00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:09,948
yes, dear.
782
00:33:10,029 --> 00:33:13,699
If I catch these two mutts
sniffing around you again, i--
783
00:33:13,783 --> 00:33:15,413
I'm not going to
responsible for my actions.
784
00:33:15,493 --> 00:33:15,873
- Yes, dear.
- Come on, Trudy.
785
00:33:15,952 --> 00:33:16,242
Yes, dear.
786
00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:18,447
Yes.
787
00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:19,998
Mongrels.
788
00:33:25,044 --> 00:33:29,094
I think I'll take
that tranquilizer now.
789
00:33:29,173 --> 00:33:29,883
Get in line.
790
00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:38,306
Let me get the light first.
791
00:33:38,391 --> 00:33:39,681
There we go.
792
00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:40,437
Sideways.
793
00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:41,388
Oh, right.
794
00:33:41,477 --> 00:33:43,397
Thank you.
795
00:33:43,479 --> 00:33:43,729
You ok?
796
00:33:43,813 --> 00:33:45,313
Yep.
797
00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:45,938
Oh, gopher, thank
you so much for helping
798
00:33:46,023 --> 00:33:47,613
me carry these cushions.
799
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:48,862
I never could have
done it by myself.
800
00:33:48,943 --> 00:33:50,863
Hey, listen, Julie,
we're shipmates.
801
00:33:50,945 --> 00:33:52,445
You don't have to thank me.
802
00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:53,820
Just remember you owe me, right?
803
00:33:53,906 --> 00:33:54,446
All right.
804
00:33:54,532 --> 00:33:56,162
Gopher, look.
805
00:33:56,242 --> 00:33:57,202
There's food down here.
806
00:33:57,285 --> 00:33:57,945
Yeah.
807
00:33:58,035 --> 00:33:59,035
That's strange.
808
00:33:59,120 --> 00:33:59,620
Candy wrappers on the floor.
809
00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:01,754
And here's some cheese.
810
00:34:01,831 --> 00:34:02,461
Where?
811
00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:03,620
Right here.
812
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:04,208
Hey, wait.
813
00:34:04,292 --> 00:34:04,672
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
814
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:06,251
Wait a minute.
815
00:34:06,335 --> 00:34:06,955
Here's the little mouse.
816
00:34:07,044 --> 00:34:08,764
Who are you?
817
00:34:08,838 --> 00:34:10,298
What's your name?
- What's your name?
818
00:34:10,381 --> 00:34:11,131
Come on.
We won't hurt you.
819
00:34:11,215 --> 00:34:12,175
I promise.
- Don't be afraid.
820
00:34:12,258 --> 00:34:12,838
Everything's all right.
- We won't hurt you.
821
00:34:12,925 --> 00:34:13,675
What's your name?
822
00:34:21,684 --> 00:34:23,904
Do you really
have to leave now?
823
00:34:23,978 --> 00:34:27,728
Well, it'll be
time for dinner soon.
824
00:34:27,815 --> 00:34:30,525
Besides, I think we've
had enough shade.
825
00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:32,900
[Laugh] You're
really something.
826
00:34:32,987 --> 00:34:33,737
You know that.
827
00:34:33,821 --> 00:34:36,871
I'm-- I'm going to
miss you, Carol.
828
00:34:36,949 --> 00:34:38,239
Am I going somewhere?
829
00:34:38,326 --> 00:34:39,156
No.
830
00:34:39,243 --> 00:34:41,543
I mean after the cruise.
831
00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:44,711
But Los Angeles and Phoenix
aren't that far apart.
832
00:34:44,791 --> 00:34:45,211
I mean we'll see each
other all the time.
833
00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:52,552
We'll see each other
some of the time?
834
00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:58,215
We'll never see each other.
835
00:34:58,304 --> 00:35:02,064
Carol, you're
a wonderful lady.
836
00:35:02,141 --> 00:35:03,021
I like you.
837
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:04,690
I really do.
838
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:05,519
You're sweet.
839
00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:07,313
You're romantic.
840
00:35:11,442 --> 00:35:14,322
But I have to be
honest with you.
841
00:35:14,403 --> 00:35:16,573
I need more than that.
842
00:35:16,656 --> 00:35:18,156
I mean for a lasting
relationship, a man and a woman
843
00:35:18,241 --> 00:35:20,661
need to talk about more
important things than--
844
00:35:20,743 --> 00:35:23,083
than just the moon.
845
00:35:23,162 --> 00:35:26,292
You mean you think i'm
not smart enough for you?
846
00:35:29,585 --> 00:35:30,455
Well, i--
847
00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:32,545
you mean you think I'm dumb?
848
00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:33,550
Look.
849
00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:35,881
Why don't we have have
a real nice dinner?
850
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:37,677
Why don't you go sit on it?
851
00:35:49,939 --> 00:35:50,609
$180.
852
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:51,940
$200.
853
00:35:52,024 --> 00:35:53,994
Well, captain, I really
must commend you for finding
854
00:35:54,068 --> 00:35:55,238
the stolen money so quickly.
855
00:35:55,319 --> 00:35:55,949
Thank you.
856
00:35:56,028 --> 00:35:56,988
You're welcome.
857
00:35:57,071 --> 00:35:59,451
I never stole anything ever.
858
00:35:59,532 --> 00:36:01,622
I'm not a thief.
859
00:36:01,701 --> 00:36:02,951
Tell me, son.
860
00:36:03,035 --> 00:36:04,285
Did you have this money
with you when you brought
861
00:36:04,370 --> 00:36:05,660
our luggage on board ship?
862
00:36:05,746 --> 00:36:08,166
No.
863
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:10,289
Thank you, captain.
864
00:36:10,376 --> 00:36:11,706
[Sigh]
865
00:36:13,296 --> 00:36:15,006
Captain, look at that face.
866
00:36:15,089 --> 00:36:16,879
He isn't guilty.
867
00:36:16,966 --> 00:36:17,716
No way.
868
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,090
Where did you get
the money, Luis?
869
00:36:20,177 --> 00:36:22,597
I can't tell you that.
870
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,520
Why can't you tell me that?
871
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:27,769
Because I can't tell
you why I can't tell you.
872
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:28,352
Ugh.
873
00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:29,846
I have blood brothers.
874
00:36:29,937 --> 00:36:32,017
I swear to them.
875
00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:32,186
Where'd you get the band-aid?
876
00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:38,573
I'll tell you what, Luis.
877
00:36:38,654 --> 00:36:41,324
You're going to have dinner at
the captain's table tonight.
878
00:36:41,407 --> 00:36:43,867
Be sure to invite Vicki
and the gaines family.
879
00:36:43,951 --> 00:36:44,951
Yes, sir.
880
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:48,746
I think we'll have
some lively conversation.
881
00:36:58,674 --> 00:37:00,054
Gopher (on pa): Good evening.
882
00:37:00,134 --> 00:37:02,934
The ship will remain in
acapulco until 12:00 midnight.
883
00:37:03,012 --> 00:37:04,722
For all those not
dining ashore there
884
00:37:04,805 --> 00:37:07,925
will be a main seating dinner
in the coral dining room.
885
00:37:08,017 --> 00:37:09,097
Can you believe it?
886
00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:11,515
I mean can you actually,
genuinely, truly believe this?
887
00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:13,484
Ok.
888
00:37:13,564 --> 00:37:15,734
You proposed to him,
but he turned you down.
889
00:37:15,816 --> 00:37:17,606
Well, I mean I didn't
get down on one knee
890
00:37:17,693 --> 00:37:18,613
and ask for his
hand in marriage,
891
00:37:18,694 --> 00:37:19,954
but the message had
to be perfectly clear.
892
00:37:20,029 --> 00:37:21,779
Did he tell you why?
893
00:37:21,864 --> 00:37:23,994
Are you ready for this?
894
00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:26,615
It is because I,
professor Carol ketay,
895
00:37:26,702 --> 00:37:27,872
phi bet, summa cum
laude, carnegie
896
00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:29,664
fellow, rhodes scholar--
897
00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:33,417
I am too dumb.
898
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:34,131
You are?
899
00:37:34,210 --> 00:37:35,630
I mean he said that?
900
00:37:35,711 --> 00:37:37,341
Well, he might as well have.
901
00:37:37,421 --> 00:37:37,761
I hate that man.
902
00:37:37,838 --> 00:37:39,968
I hate him.
903
00:37:40,049 --> 00:37:42,509
Seems more to me
like you love him.
904
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:44,723
Who asked you?
905
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:47,064
You got any ideas?
906
00:37:47,139 --> 00:37:48,559
Yeah.
907
00:37:48,641 --> 00:37:50,691
Since you caught
him by talking dumb,
908
00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:53,768
maybe if you want to hold him
you should start talking smart.
909
00:37:57,650 --> 00:37:59,190
How is it for a girl
with only a b average,
910
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:00,437
you always have all
the right answers?
911
00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:08,621
Good evening.
912
00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:09,583
Good evening.
913
00:38:09,662 --> 00:38:11,542
Shove off, swab jockey.
914
00:38:11,622 --> 00:38:12,422
That seat's taken.
915
00:38:15,459 --> 00:38:17,129
Sweetheart.
916
00:38:17,211 --> 00:38:17,881
Captain.
917
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:19,212
Mhm.
918
00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:21,797
I-- I really don't
understand why we're rehashing
919
00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:23,052
this unpleasantness.
920
00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:27,144
Well, I was just hoping that
we could settle this mystery
921
00:38:27,221 --> 00:38:29,101
of someone stealing your $200.
922
00:38:29,181 --> 00:38:31,021
It seems to me
that the mystery
923
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:33,140
was solved a long time ago.
924
00:38:33,227 --> 00:38:36,897
Things aren't always
as they seem to appear.
925
00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:40,071
However, in this case, it seems
clear that Luis is guilty.
926
00:38:42,737 --> 00:38:43,897
I'm sorry, Luis.
927
00:38:43,988 --> 00:38:46,448
I hate to do it, but
right after dinner,
928
00:38:46,532 --> 00:38:47,662
I'm going to have
to turn you over
929
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:48,492
to the acapulco authorities.
930
00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:54,536
I'm sorry.
931
00:38:54,623 --> 00:38:55,923
But the law is the law.
932
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:56,420
No.
933
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:59,170
Leave him alone.
934
00:38:59,253 --> 00:38:59,593
Luis didn't take the money.
935
00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:01,340
He didn't.
936
00:39:01,422 --> 00:39:02,972
Keith, Keith, that's enough.
937
00:39:03,049 --> 00:39:04,549
Now, son, the boy is guilty.
938
00:39:04,633 --> 00:39:06,263
He's going to have to
take his punishment.
939
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:07,434
But don't you understand?
940
00:39:07,511 --> 00:39:08,141
I did it.
941
00:39:08,220 --> 00:39:09,760
Me, I'm the thief.
942
00:39:09,847 --> 00:39:10,557
Keith.
943
00:39:15,561 --> 00:39:17,901
Not so fast, young lady.
944
00:39:17,980 --> 00:39:19,400
You also have some
explaining to do.
945
00:39:25,529 --> 00:39:26,239
Sit down.
946
00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:39,289
Keith, you know how I hate
dishonesty, don't you?
947
00:39:39,376 --> 00:39:41,836
Yes, sir.
948
00:39:41,921 --> 00:39:45,881
Well, son, it was not only
dishonest for Luis to steal
949
00:39:45,966 --> 00:39:49,296
my money, you see,
but it was also
950
00:39:49,386 --> 00:39:50,046
dishonest for you
to try to protect
951
00:39:50,137 --> 00:39:54,177
him by saying you took it.
952
00:39:54,266 --> 00:39:57,306
Your father's right, Keith.
953
00:39:57,394 --> 00:40:00,944
But I must say I like you
trying to protect your friend.
954
00:40:01,023 --> 00:40:02,653
But I wasn't trying
to protect him.
955
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:06,283
I did take the money for Luis
to buy his mother presents.
956
00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:08,612
We have everything, and
they've got nothing.
957
00:40:14,578 --> 00:40:15,908
[Sigh]
958
00:40:16,914 --> 00:40:19,884
I understand.
959
00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:21,539
But the way you went
about it was wrong, son.
960
00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:27,675
But you did it
to help somebody.
961
00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:30,008
I'm very proud of you for that.
962
00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:31,434
The way it ended up I really
didn't help anybody at all.
963
00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:39,346
Well, you know, if we took
that $200 and we bought Luis'
964
00:40:39,436 --> 00:40:44,856
mother some presents, maybe we'd
all be helping each other, huh?
965
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:54,331
Uh, captain.
966
00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:55,490
Oh, yes, Isaac.
967
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:56,328
Uh, I don't want to
worry you or anything,
968
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:59,002
but Mr. Benson is
looking for you.
969
00:40:59,081 --> 00:41:00,881
Thank you, Issac.
970
00:41:00,958 --> 00:41:01,748
You just worried me.
971
00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:07,755
Oh, hello, Adam.
972
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,470
Say, would you like to come to
my cabin for a game of chess?
973
00:41:10,551 --> 00:41:11,301
Oh, thanks, merrill,
but I was planning
974
00:41:11,385 --> 00:41:13,465
to turn in early tonight.
- Yeah.
975
00:41:13,554 --> 00:41:14,604
Me too.
976
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:15,760
Just a quick game.
977
00:41:15,848 --> 00:41:18,768
A quick game of chess?
978
00:41:18,851 --> 00:41:18,891
It's an order.
979
00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:36,288
(Sexy voice) Isn't that
big old moon pretty tonight?
980
00:41:36,368 --> 00:41:39,408
Carol, I'm sorry.
981
00:41:39,496 --> 00:41:41,916
I feel terrible about what I
said to you this afternoon.
982
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:43,919
I fell more terrible
about how I said it.
983
00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:45,171
It's not as if I
thought you were dumb.
984
00:41:45,252 --> 00:41:46,752
I didn't mean that.
985
00:41:46,837 --> 00:41:50,257
Oh, I know you
didn't mean I was dumb.
986
00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:52,261
You just didn't
mean I was smart.
987
00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:55,103
At least, not smart
enough for you.
988
00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,599
No, no, no, not exactly.
989
00:41:57,681 --> 00:42:00,771
I understand, Chris.
990
00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:07,071
In the time we spent together, I
did talk about moonlight a lot.
991
00:42:07,149 --> 00:42:09,109
However, I didn't
tell you everything
992
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:12,533
I know about the moon.
993
00:42:12,613 --> 00:42:16,783
For instance, um, the
moon is the closest
994
00:42:16,867 --> 00:42:22,957
celestial body to the earth at a
mean distance of 238,857 miles.
995
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:24,460
As you well know,
the moon revolves
996
00:42:24,541 --> 00:42:27,961
around the earth in 27 days,
seven hours, and 43 minutes.
997
00:42:28,045 --> 00:42:31,085
And is visible due to
reflection of solar radiation.
998
00:42:31,173 --> 00:42:32,133
Now, three different
theories have been advanced
999
00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:35,386
as to the moon's origin.
1000
00:42:35,469 --> 00:42:37,639
Independent formation, formation
via fission of the earth's
1001
00:42:37,721 --> 00:42:40,851
surface, and captured by the
earth's gravitational field
1002
00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:42,643
after formation elsewhere.
1003
00:42:42,726 --> 00:42:45,396
Now, would you like
to hear about the sun?
1004
00:42:45,479 --> 00:42:46,729
Yes.
1005
00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:49,654
Every morning as it comes up.
1006
00:42:49,733 --> 00:42:50,993
I'd like to hear that
for the rest of my life.
1007
00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:51,778
Would you?
1008
00:43:12,548 --> 00:43:14,758
It's really getting
late, merrill.
1009
00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:15,932
I better turn in.
- Oh no.
1010
00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:16,640
You can't.
1011
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:17,969
I mean, I mean, sure, Adam.
1012
00:43:18,053 --> 00:43:18,933
Sure.
1013
00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,183
Whenever you want.
1014
00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:21,724
It's just that-- well, haven't
you ever had one of those
1015
00:43:21,807 --> 00:43:24,727
nights where you just
don't want to be alone?
1016
00:43:24,810 --> 00:43:27,190
Yeah, but then I
usually hit on girls.
1017
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:28,311
So good night, merrill.
1018
00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:28,857
No, Adam.
1019
00:43:28,939 --> 00:43:30,229
You can't leave me!
1020
00:43:30,316 --> 00:43:32,356
Now, this wouldn't
have anything to do
1021
00:43:32,443 --> 00:43:34,953
with Milton Benson, would it?
1022
00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:36,199
Whatever do you mean by that?
1023
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,530
[Knocking]
1024
00:43:37,614 --> 00:43:39,704
Gopher: Sirs, are you ok?
1025
00:43:39,783 --> 00:43:42,873
It's gopher and Isaac.
1026
00:43:42,953 --> 00:43:44,713
[Clears throat]
1027
00:43:44,788 --> 00:43:45,868
- Good evening.
- Yes.
1028
00:43:45,956 --> 00:43:47,036
Please, please.
Come in.
1029
00:43:47,124 --> 00:43:48,214
Come in.
1030
00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:49,592
I thought you were
that maniac Benson.
1031
00:43:49,668 --> 00:43:50,378
Oh, we thought we'd
check on you, because we
1032
00:43:50,461 --> 00:43:51,301
were worried about you.
- Yes.
1033
00:43:51,378 --> 00:43:54,718
Well, I appreciate your loyalty.
1034
00:43:54,798 --> 00:43:57,758
But the four of us together,
there's nothing he can do.
1035
00:43:57,843 --> 00:43:59,223
[Knocking]
1036
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:01,183
Mr. Benson: You
in there, captain?
1037
00:44:01,263 --> 00:44:03,813
(Womanly voice) Wrong cabin.
1038
00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:05,351
(Whispering) In.
1039
00:44:05,434 --> 00:44:06,354
(Whispering) Let him in.
1040
00:44:06,435 --> 00:44:07,805
(Whispering) Let him in.
1041
00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:14,357
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
1042
00:44:14,443 --> 00:44:15,323
Good evening.
How are you?
1043
00:44:15,402 --> 00:44:16,072
Good to see you.
1044
00:44:16,153 --> 00:44:16,863
- You're all here, huh?
- Yes.
1045
00:44:16,945 --> 00:44:17,985
We're all here.
- Here we are.
1046
00:44:18,072 --> 00:44:19,072
Well, that's good.
1047
00:44:19,156 --> 00:44:20,866
That's good.
1048
00:44:20,949 --> 00:44:21,949
Because I got something for you.
1049
00:44:25,412 --> 00:44:26,872
[Shouting]
1050
00:44:30,125 --> 00:44:31,415
Believe me.
1051
00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:32,632
Believe me, Mr. Benson.
1052
00:44:32,711 --> 00:44:35,261
No one here ever made
an advance to your wife.
1053
00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:36,339
I know that.
1054
00:44:39,426 --> 00:44:43,056
Then, then, why have you
been acting like a madman?
1055
00:44:43,138 --> 00:44:45,268
Acting.
1056
00:44:45,349 --> 00:44:46,599
That's the key word, captain.
1057
00:44:46,683 --> 00:44:48,733
You see that woman
means everything to me.
1058
00:44:48,811 --> 00:44:51,811
The most wonderful,
thoughtful woman in the world.
1059
00:44:51,897 --> 00:44:55,107
Nothing she wouldn't do for me,
the greatest wife a man ever
1060
00:44:55,192 --> 00:44:56,242
had.
1061
00:44:56,318 --> 00:44:59,568
But you know, I know
she's not exactly
1062
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:00,855
a raving beauty anymore.
1063
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:01,868
You know, a little
over the hill.
1064
00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:05,409
They don't call her to
be queen of the may.
1065
00:45:05,494 --> 00:45:09,834
So that's why I put on that
crazy jealous act, you see.
1066
00:45:09,915 --> 00:45:11,625
Makes her feel like
the most beautiful
1067
00:45:11,708 --> 00:45:13,498
attractive woman in the world.
1068
00:45:13,585 --> 00:45:15,045
Then, why are
you holding a gun?
1069
00:45:15,129 --> 00:45:16,799
Huh?
1070
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:18,300
The gun!
1071
00:45:18,382 --> 00:45:20,302
The gun.
1072
00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:20,884
Yeah.
1073
00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:24,178
Benson 32 automatic.
1074
00:45:24,263 --> 00:45:28,313
It's the top of the
line that I manufacture.
1075
00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:30,062
I'm giving it to you, captain.
1076
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:31,234
What?
1077
00:45:31,311 --> 00:45:31,981
No, no.
1078
00:45:32,062 --> 00:45:32,942
No, no.
1079
00:45:33,021 --> 00:45:34,061
Just a little gift.
1080
00:45:34,148 --> 00:45:35,228
Oh.
1081
00:45:35,315 --> 00:45:36,185
To apologize for my
outrageous behavior.
1082
00:45:36,275 --> 00:45:38,145
All right.
1083
00:45:38,235 --> 00:45:39,815
All the trouble I
caused on the cruise.
1084
00:45:39,903 --> 00:45:40,573
Well, thank you.
1085
00:45:40,654 --> 00:45:41,324
Thank you very much, Mr. Benson.
1086
00:45:41,405 --> 00:45:43,485
Thank you, captain.
1087
00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:45,084
Doc, gopher--
1088
00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:45,409
thank you.
1089
00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:46,832
Isaac.
1090
00:45:46,910 --> 00:45:47,740
Oh, thank you.
1091
00:45:47,828 --> 00:45:48,698
Thanks a lot for
a wonderful cruise.
1092
00:45:48,787 --> 00:45:49,367
Yes.
1093
00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:50,365
It was our pleasure, sir.
1094
00:45:50,456 --> 00:45:51,366
Our pleasure.
1095
00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:52,207
All right.
1096
00:46:00,632 --> 00:46:02,182
I bet he had you
all scared, didn't he?
1097
00:46:28,118 --> 00:46:29,538
Goodbye.
1098
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:30,870
Thank you for everything.
1099
00:46:30,954 --> 00:46:32,214
Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. Gaines.
1100
00:46:32,289 --> 00:46:33,459
It was our pleasure.
1101
00:46:33,540 --> 00:46:35,210
I'm only sorry you missed
seeing Luis and his mother.
1102
00:46:35,292 --> 00:46:36,542
She was thrilled
with the presents.
1103
00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:37,747
We're pleased just
hearing about it.
1104
00:46:37,836 --> 00:46:38,496
Yes.
1105
00:46:38,587 --> 00:46:39,507
We are.
1106
00:46:39,588 --> 00:46:40,878
Captain, what about
Luis being a stowaway.
1107
00:46:40,964 --> 00:46:43,344
Will there be any charges
brought against him?
1108
00:46:43,425 --> 00:46:43,875
No.
1109
00:46:43,967 --> 00:46:45,217
I spoke with him.
1110
00:46:45,302 --> 00:46:47,552
He understands what
he did was wrong.
1111
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:48,678
Vicki and I are paying his fair.
1112
00:46:48,764 --> 00:46:51,104
I'm taking $1 out
of her allowance,
1113
00:46:51,183 --> 00:46:54,193
and the rest is coming
out of my allowance.
1114
00:46:54,269 --> 00:46:56,359
Are you going back
to the think tank
1115
00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:57,398
after you're married?
1116
00:46:57,481 --> 00:46:58,731
Of course.
1117
00:46:58,815 --> 00:47:00,275
But after a day
in the think tank,
1118
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:03,399
now I'll be going home for
a night in the hot tub.
1119
00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:05,067
Ah, that's what I like.
1120
00:47:05,155 --> 00:47:05,855
Clean living.
1121
00:47:05,948 --> 00:47:07,158
Thanks for a great cruise.
1122
00:47:07,241 --> 00:47:07,491
Ah, you're welcome.
1123
00:47:07,574 --> 00:47:08,954
Me too.
1124
00:47:09,034 --> 00:47:10,244
Oh, it's my pleasure.
1125
00:47:10,327 --> 00:47:12,197
I'm just glad that everything
worked out for both of you.
1126
00:47:12,287 --> 00:47:12,747
Yeah.
1127
00:47:12,829 --> 00:47:13,499
Yeah.
1128
00:47:13,580 --> 00:47:15,080
I guess it was just dumb luck.
1129
00:47:15,165 --> 00:47:16,575
Oh.
1130
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:17,667
[Laughter]
1131
00:47:17,751 --> 00:47:18,421
So long.
1132
00:47:18,502 --> 00:47:19,922
Bye bye.
1133
00:47:20,003 --> 00:47:21,513
Goodbye, Mrs. Benson.
1134
00:47:21,588 --> 00:47:23,088
I hope you enjoyed the cruise.
- Oh, I did.
1135
00:47:23,173 --> 00:47:24,173
Very much.
1136
00:47:24,258 --> 00:47:26,758
Yes, it was wonderful, but
before Milton gets here,
1137
00:47:26,843 --> 00:47:29,763
I would like to
apologize and explain.
1138
00:47:29,846 --> 00:47:32,806
You see, my husband is,
well, he loves me so much
1139
00:47:32,891 --> 00:47:35,101
that he's just
crazy with jealousy.
1140
00:47:35,185 --> 00:47:37,935
And that's why I purposely
make myself look so drab.
1141
00:47:38,021 --> 00:47:41,531
Because if I didn't I
might attract some man,
1142
00:47:41,608 --> 00:47:43,818
and heaven knows
what Milton would do.
1143
00:47:43,902 --> 00:47:44,402
Yes.
1144
00:47:44,486 --> 00:47:46,606
Still trying, huh?
1145
00:47:46,697 --> 00:47:49,827
Right to the picture ending.
1146
00:47:49,908 --> 00:47:50,278
Come, my darling.
1147
00:47:50,367 --> 00:47:52,237
Yes, dear.
1148
00:47:52,327 --> 00:47:53,037
Penguins.
1149
00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:06,223
Mr. Benson definitely goes in
our album of cruise memories.
1150
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:08,010
[Laughing]
1151
00:48:17,561 --> 00:48:21,691
[Theme music]
1152
00:48:21,741 --> 00:48:26,291
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