Original subtitles

[Theme music]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard, we're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow, it floats back to you.

The love boat!

Soon, we'll be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love!

Welcome aboard, it's love!

Well, back to the old grind, doc.

Boy, two days ashore sure doesn't seem like enough.

I can live on my memories.

Oh, what a weekend.

I don't even care about the cleaning bill.

[Splash]

Hold it.

What?

Somebody squished.

Don't look at me.

I haven't squished in years.

The deck is flooded!

Rainy season?

No!

What about the cabins?

Oh, my books!

My cashmere sweaters!

My Dolly Parton poster!

[Splash]

[Gopher screams]

Gopher!

Are you all right?

Well, first of all, i'm gonna need a very large sponge.

All right, thank you very much.

Apparently, the sprinkler system on the crew deck

was set off accidentally.

And unfortunately, I'll take a least

a week to repair the damage.

Oh, no!

Sir, we--

so we have to make other living arrangements.

Now, what is the situation regarding vacant cabins?

Well, sir, we're almost fully booked.

The only thing that's empty is fiesta 133,

and that's the smallest cabin on the ship.

Sir, I know how uncomfortable that cabin is,

but I am willing to make the sacrifice.

Uh, miss McCoy will take fiesta 133.

Like I was saying, Julie is entitled to a separate cabin.

Sir, what about us?

Well, we can't stay where we are.

Our cabins are so wet, we could sublet

them to Jacques cousteau.

There must be somewhere.

Well, sir, there is one large cabin that wasn't flooded,

and we could move in some cots.

Perfect.

Which cabin?

Uh, there's a crew member already living there, sir.

Miss McCoy, these men need a place to sleep.

Now, no one on my ship is going to deny

them simply because of some minor inconvenience.

Now, whose cabin are you talking about?

Yours, sir.

Well, as you can see, uh, i'm in the midst of painting here.

Yes, well, I was thinking of your bedroom.

Oh, yes, of course.

Thank you for the suggestion.

Shall I arrange for those cots?

[Sigh].

I suppose so.

I mean, certainly.

Yes, sir.

That's very big of you, sir.

Hey, that's why our man here gets the big money.

Right, sir?

Mr. Smith.

Yes, sir?

You're dripping on the mahogany.

Capt. Merrill-- what happened to you?

I was bobbing for dinner.

Julie says that doc and gopher and Isaac

are gonna be staying with you in your cabin.

Boy, are you guys gonna have fun!

Oh, goody.

Hello.

Hello.

Frank and maura bellock.

Such an incredible night.

Maura, look at that star.

I'd rather look at the bar.

Well, that's, uh, something for everybody.

Hey, guys, look at all of this.

Oh, I'm so excited I could die.

With that dress, i'm surprised you haven't.

Dave and Cynthia wilmer.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Mr. Wilmer.

Yes, you're all on the aloha deck, cabin 270 and 272.

Thank you.

Let's go.

Hi.

Hi.

Let's go.

Ooh.

Well, maybe they're kissing cousins.

Or not.

When are you gonna move your stuff

into the captain's quarters?

I can't get into my cabin until the tide goes out.

Ah, I know what you mean.

I wonder how my albums are gonna sound

after they've been underwater.

Never hear Stevie wonder gargle?

Hello, welcome aboard.

- Julie! - Hi!

How are you?

Oh, I'm good.

Oh, Julie, I don't know how to thank you for this.

I really don't.

Well, you just sing as well as you did when

I heard you in that club, ok?

Oh, that was a nothing place.

I wasn't even getting paid there.

Oh, no?

Oh, wow.

Oh, man.

You are a Julie McCoy discovery.

Now, you remember that when you make it big.

No, no, no, you mean if I make it big.

I mean when.

Guess who's gonna be on this cruise?

Who?

Steve sorrell.

Steve sorrell, the record producer?

Mm-hmm.

I bet he gets one look at you and he offers you a contract.

Oh, yeah?

No, no, I'll probably blow it.

No way!

Hey, you've got what it takes.

You've got talent and style and looks.

Now, you may be going out there a singer, kid,

but you're coming back a star!

Well, in that case, uh, better go steam

the wrinkles out of my tux.

I have an image to protect, you know.

I'll see you, Julie.

Thanks a lot.

It's an honor to have you on board, miss wasser.

I think I've read every book you've ever written.

Yes, but how many have you bought?

You know what I enjoy about your novels?

I always feel that i'm reading about real people.

Oh, you are.

I am?

Oh, I steal all my plots from life.

I change the names, add a few facts, and voila.

But you mean that that blind newsboy in "the last bell"

actually exists?

Oh, you couldn't make up a character like him.

I hung around his newsstand in New York

until I knew every detail of his life.

That's fascinating.

It's also expensive.

I must have bought $600 worth of magazines I didn't want,

and I talked in headlines for weeks.

Well, uh, what are you working on now?

My vacation.

I'm going to bingo my brains out.

Oh, mama, ain't this something?

Oh, this is fancy for a boat.

Hmph, too dang fancy.

I feel just like a catfish in a gopher hole.

Oh, come on now, grandpa.

Let's just do what we came here for.

Oh, it's like a royal palace.

Oh, no it ain't.

It's like them big hotels they have in Charleston.

Oh, don't you put on airs, Elmer fargas.

You never been outside of West Virginia neither.

Hello, I'm Julie McCoy.

If you say so.

Howdy, ma'am.

We're the Scofields.

Uh, could you tell us where we could find the youngster who's

singing on this here cruise?

Oh, do you know Danny?

Well, he-- he used to sing around our neck of the woods.

Oh, Mr. Scofield, I'm sure that Danny's gonna enjoy

having some fans on board.

Your cabins are right up those stairs.

Enjoy your cruise.

Thank you.

Captain, you'll have to bingo without me.

I've just seen a bestseller.

Ah, Mr. Sorrell, welcome back.

Hope you have a great cruise.

Listen, sir, if there's anything that you need or want,

please just let us know.

Well, there is one thing.

Name it, sir.

Can you get me one of those?

Kitty, just you don't let your head be turned by every city

boy that smiles at you here.

Now, turn around here.

I am not fooling.

Now, that's what I call good old country sunshine.

It's nice to know I'm worth smiling at.

And mind your tone.

You ain't my husband yet, you know.

[Horn blows]

You think he's gonna be surprised?

Like a hound dog in a tornado.

I still say if he wanted to see us, he coulda come home.

Oh, grandpa, Danny doesn't wanna

come back to gators corner.

He's making a name for himself.

Ain't nothing wrong with that name he's got.

Oh, just quit your scrapping now.

Oh, here. - This is it.

All: Surprise!

Pa!

Ma!

What are-- what are you guys--

I mean--

close your mouth, son.

No telling what might stroll in there.

Oh, we wanted to surprise you!

I'm surprised, all right.

Uh, co-- come in, come in.

Good lord, son, you're skinny as a possum with lockjaw.

Hey.

Hi, how are you?

Good.

You been eating good?

Oh, i-- I been eating just fine, ma.

Tell me, how come you're all here?

Well, when you wrote that you was gonna

sing on a big fancy boat, we just took our rainy day money

and just bought us tickets.

Oh, mama.

Mama, you shouldn't have done that.

That's a lot of money.

Well, Elmer pitched in.

His farm's been doing really well.

Nice of you mom

well support to your food

I haven't seen you in such a long time.

I missed you

oh I missed you, too kitty you know

I haven't needed to come back home for a visit

but you know the schedules and

this is hearsay under Danny's picture?

Uh, "now appearing in the 'aca-pell-co' lounge,

Danny fields."

Danny fields?

Who's that?

That's, um, that's me.

You ain't no Danny fields!

Now, grandpa, everybody in showbiz changes their name.

Well, it ain't right.

He's a Scofield.

His pa's a Scofield.

I'm a Scofield.

My pappy and my pappy's pappy all

the way back were Scofields!

Oh, it's all right, pa.

He's still our Danny.

Nothing could change that.

Ain't that right, son?

Sure, mama, you bet.

Hey, you know, i'm--

I'm really glad y'all came.

I really am.

Heck, son, what are kin for?

Why, a man without kin is like grits without hog fat.

Yeah.

Hey, look, i-- I wish I could spend more time with you,

but I've--

I've got a rehearsal right now that I've gotta get to.

Oh, don't you fret.

Now, this boat's got all sorts of ways for people

to busy themself.

It sure has.

Why, you know, they got a place here that you

can shoot your own supper.

Of course, I ain't ever et no skeet, but folks around here

seem to like 'em a whole bunch.

No, no, grandpa, you-- you don't eat skeet,

you just shoot 'em.

What do you wanna shoot 'em for if you can't eat 'em?

Well, it's like I told you, Floyd.

Folks outside of west virginny is just plum "igornant."

[Knocking]

Good evening, ma'am.

Uh, Mr. Wilmer ordered some hot milk.

Where can I put--

I'll take it, thank you.

Oh.

Uh, can I get you anything else?

- No, nothing else. - Have a nice evening.

Good night.

Hot milk.

Dave!

Dave, it's only 10 o'clock!

I though we'd get together with frank and maura.

Dave: No way.

I'm beat.

Oh, Dave!

Maura?

What, you too?

What a bunch of party poopers.

But it's been a long day.

Oh, but don't you love it?

Come on, aren't you glad frank and I got

you guys to go on this cruise?

It beats sitting around that apartment pool.

Doesn't it, frank?

Frank's gone out.

Oh.

Well, i-- I guess if you're gonna call it a night,

I might as well, too.

Good night, maura.

Good night.

[Door closes]

Honey?

Honey, I'm starved.

I'm gonna go check with the steward to see

what's keeping our hot milk.

[Humming]

Ooh-wee!

It was a gift from peaches.

You like it?

Oh, I didn't say that.

Hey, gopher, come on, man.

Get out of there.

You know, somebody else wants to get into the bathroom.

Gopher!

[Isaac banging]

Ahem.

What, uh, seems to be the problem, gentlemen?

It's gopher, sir.

He won't come out of the bathroom.

I think he's having an affair with a bottle of listermint.

I see.

Excuse me.

Mr. Smith, the front office has suggested

that I recommend crew members for our arctic freighter.

Now, since you are so busy, suppose I jot down your name?

Geez, can't a guy wash up without getting deported?

I don't believe it.

Dr. Denton's.

Hey, they're comfortable, all right?

My feet get cold!

Oh, uh, sir, could I just get--

Patience, Isaac, Patience.

Doc, you need patients.

I need the bathroom.

Aha!

Got an idea here.

[Soul music playing]

Isaac, don't you know listening to that stuff can

be hazardous to your health?

[Classical music playing]

Hey, doc!

Man, I hate that kind of stuff.

[Soul music playing]

And I hate that kind of stuff!

[Classical music playing]

Well, that's just too bad!

[Soul music playing]

Isaac, now look--

no way, man!

Oh!

Now, look what you did!

Look what I did?

Eww, do you smell something?

Yeah, it's like a combination of, uh, honeysuckle

and lilac and old sweatsocks.

It's incense. - Om.

Oh.

Gopher, what are you doing?

Om.

Earth to gopher, earth to gopher.

Come in, gopher, come in.

Om.

I think he's stepped out.

Is somebody manufacturing rubber in here?

Om.

Mr. Smith!

Ah!

Sir, uh, I was meditating.

It helps me relax.

Well, tense up and go to bed.

Yes, sir.

Will somebody please turn off that din?

Oh, yes, sir.

You know, I was just waiting for you

to come out of the bathroom.

I was just using this kind of, you know, to distract me

a little bit.

And I was gonna go to the bath--

ooh!

All yours, Isaac.

Ooh, thank you.

Now, I don't have to anymore.

All right, time for lights out.

Doc: Good night, Isaac.

Isaac: Good night, doc.

Doc: Good night, merrill.

Capt. Stubing: Good night, Adam.

Isaac: Good night, captain.

Capt. Stubing: Good night, Isaac.

Gopher: Om.

All: Gopher!

Gopher: Sorry.

Doc: You'd make a lousy walton.

You look like you're planning to take that home with you.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

This is my first ocean.

It's beautiful.

Yes, it is.

I've seen it so many times, I hardly notice anymore.

Well, uh, I better go.

My family'll be wondering where I got to.

Why don't you check in with them and then let me show you

the ship?

Oh.

Oh, well, I couldn't do that.

I got a Beau.

A Beau?

Elmer.

We're getting married come June.

Oh, I see.

Well, Elmer's gain is my loss.

I hope he knows how lucky he is.

What are you gawking at?

Well, I guess I didn't expect to see so much of West Virginia

out here in the middle of the ocean.

Ooh, Betty, you're getting really red.

Why don't you go inside?

Hi.

Well, howdy.

Hi.

Anybody in the mood for a game of bingo?

No.

Oh, it's not very down home around here, is it?

Hey!

You know, my old Irish grandfather used to say, (irish

accent), "woman, you'll never be far

from home as long as you have the music

of your heart with you."

Uh, I bet that's true for you, too.

You're sorry we came, aren't you?

Oh, no.

Of course not, kitty.

I just--

you're scared we're gonna shame you.

No.

No, it's just that this producer's

on board, this record producer.

Could be my big break.

And I just don't wanna blow it by letting

him think that I'm some kind of hillbilly or something.

Oh, he won't think that.

Why, heck, you don't even sound country anymore.

Oh, I know that, I know that.

But ma and pa and grandpa-- oof.

Oh, they'd never do nothing to hurt you.

Not on purpose.

I know that.

[Playing "Turkey in the straw" on harmonica]

That's exactly what I was afraid of.

Look at them-- the quaint, country-type folks

making fools of themselves in front of everybody!

No.

No, I'm sorry but i--

I just want to be so much more than that.

So do I, only I don't know how.

Kitty, for a start, you think twice about tying yourself down

to some guy who's gonna keep you in the kitchen

the rest of your life.

Now, do you want that?

Come on.

Oh, kitty, there's so much more in this world for you

than that.

So don't get stuck in the 19th century, like them.

Ok?

Ok.

Ping-pong, anyone?

Not my game.

What is your game, frank?

I'm not much for games.

Mm-hmm.

Honey, what do you say we get some drinks?

Oh, no, thanks.

I just want some sun.

Maura, what do you say we get our people some drinks?

Sure.

Frank?

Oh, just one of those fruity things.

How about a gin and tonic?

Whatever.

Frank, will you put some oil on my shoulder?

Sure.

Honey, where's the lotion?

What a couple of beauties.

What are you talking about?

Can't you see what's going on under your nose?

Maura, you're raving.

Yeah, raving mad at your wife.

I don't need this from her.

What?

What is it you don't need?

Dave, they're having an affair.

Who?

Who?

Them!

Oh, come on.

No way.

Come on, Dave.

They touch each other every three minutes.

They touch each other from opposite sides of the pool.

Maura, listen.

I know frank's had millions of affairs,

but this is not one of them.

Oh, and I'm sorry.

I really shouldn't have said that.

Look, I love my wife, so let's just pretend we haven't

had this conversation, ok?

Ok, whatever you think.

Ah, what will it be, folks?

One of my famous eye-openers?

He just had one.

It didn't work.

[Playing "Turkey in the straw" on harmonica]

Oh, they're a fantastic family.

Yeah.

I could really build a book about them.

Well, what's holding you back?

Grandpa Scofield.

You know, these mountain men are so suspicious of outsiders.

They won't talk to anybody.

Except mountain women.

[Cheers and applause]

That's it, folks!

My pucker's tuckered!

[Laughter]

Excuse me a minute, captain.

I vow y'all brought a tear to my eye.

Well, thank you kindly, ma'am.

Oh, uh, I ain't heard nothing like that

since I left Miller crossing.

Miller crossing, West Virginia?

The identical.

Well, I'll be greased and fried!

Grandpa, you hear that?

We got ourselves a neighbor here.

We come from gators corner.

Oh, don't that beat all?

Oh, we got kin in Miller crossing.

You don't happen to know miss Barbara Jean Scofield?

Well, who don't?

I'm verna wasser.

Oh, how do you, ma'am?

I don't recollect any wassers in Miller's crossing.

Well, my mama done married again, so--

I was there one time 30 years ago.

Went to a horse sale, got scud real bad.

Oh, the horse I bought was lame.

Had to shoot him.

Ain't set foot in the place since then.

But I'd have sure been back if I had known their women folks

was as handsome as you are.

Well, you're smoother than a barbershop shave.

Lucius Scofield, ma'am, but you can call me Luke.

Howdy, Luke.

I'm vernie.

Say, how about you and me just finding

out how big this old boat is?

Well, I think that would just be lovely.

Excuse us.

We'll see you kids.

Grandpa hadn't had a twinkle in his eye

like that since the time rev. Hoosker fell off a pulpit

and landed in the rhododendrons.

Oh, yeah.

I remember that.

Capt. Merrill, you said you'd take me

to see the engine room today.

Sweetheart, uh, I really have to take a nap.

And I didn't think grownups did things like this.

Grownups do a lot of things that'd surprise you.

Was it fun last night with doc and gopher and Isaac?

Yes, it was a real ball.

Doc snores like a rusty chainsaw,

gopher chants in his sleep, and Isaac exercises to disco music

at 6:00 am.

I'm sorry, honey, but I really have to lie down.

Look, uh, we'll see the engine room another time.

But there's nothing else to do.

Oh, why don't you go clean your room?

I'm sure it's a mess.

My room's a mess?

You gotta be kidding.

(Singing) Well, get down, get down!

Boogie till your face is frozen!

Get down, get down!

Ow!

Dance until your feet are aching!

Dance until they smell like bacon!

Get down, get down, get down, get down!

Get it over with.

Oh, captain, what's happening?

Oh, I was just gonna ask you the same thing.

Oh, a passenger spilled a pi a colada on me,

so I gotta get a clean shirt, clean tie, clean uniform,

shower, do my hair, and change.

(Singing) Get down, get down!

Boogie till your hair is greasy!

Oh, uh, captain, are you trying to sleep?

Sleep?

At this hour of the day?

Don't be silly.

(Singing) Boogie till you're in a groove!

Boogie till your parents move!

Get down, get down, get down, get down!

Gopher (on loudspeaker): Good morning,

and welcome to puerto vallarta.

We hope you enjoy your day.

Hey, where in tarnation have you been?

I been looking all over for you.

Your folks is worried.

Elmer, I can't believe how many

things they got to do here.

Why, they got games and shows and movies and dances.

Yeah?

They even got those fancy disco dances, like on TV.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You wanna go learn with me?

Well, what for?

Ain't no place to do them dances back home.

Well, we can do them here.

They got a band.

Oh, I already know all the dances I need to know.

Elmer, don't you wanna learn nothing new?

Oh, I ain't looking for nothing new, 'cause, uh, I

already got everything I want.

I got the farm, and I got you.

But don't you ever feel like there's gotta be more?

You don't understand, do you?

Hey, look.

You wanna learn fancy dances?

Go to it.

I'll sit with the folks.

Now, you have a good time, you hear?

The Sam hill is in them?

Why, they look sillier than a sow with a saddle on.

Well, i-- I think they is what's called slot machines.

What are they for?

Hey, them people is sure dumb, ain't they?

What do you mean, Luke?

Well, just look.

They're spending good money just to watch them little wheels go

round, and we're standing right here watching them,

and we ain't paying a thing!

[Disco music playing]

Hi, kitty.

Hey, come on and join us.

That's real good.

Oh!

Hi, again.

Oh, hi.

I don't know anything about these type of dances.

Well, that's why you're here, isn't it?

To learn.

Luckily, you're in good hands.

I am?

Oh, certainly.

I'm a veteran of studio 54 in New York, r gine's in London,

and le club in Paris.

Then what are you doing here taking lessons?

Oh, I'm not taking them, I'm giving them.

What a day.

I'm having the best time.

Aren't you? - Cynthia, I think I'd like to--

look at you.

You're already dressed for lunch.

I'd better get a move on.

Cynthia, maybe we could--

[wolf whistle]

What's with him?

Doesn't he know i'm a married woman?

Ah.

Ah!

What are you doing in here?

I was, uh, just lying here trying

to decide what to do about that young lady on the lido deck.

What young lady is that, sir?

You know, that pretty stewardess who

insists on sunbathing topless.

She's causing quite a disruption.

Oh, that young lady.

Right.

Well, uh, I'm sure you'll make the right decision, sir,

because you always do.

I, uh-- I have to go though, now.

I gotta get back to-- uh, to work!

Ah.

Wait till you hear this.

A passenger lent it to me.

Songs of the humpback whale.

No.

[Whale sounds]

Wonder what brought that on.

Man (on loudspeaker): We hope you enjoyed

your day in puerto vallarta.

The ship will sail in 30 minutes.

Well, I travel so much, I'm hardly ever home.

What's it like seeing the world?

The big cities and all?

Oh, I guess one town is pretty much the same as another.

People are pretty much people.

You mean, they're just like us in Paris, France?

(French accent) Uh, well, no.

They, uh, they speak a different language, n'est-ce pas?

And, uh, they are very romantic.

(French accent) Oh, monsieur, you are so very romantic.

Hey, you got a good ear.

Yeah.

Lot of good it's gonna do me in Cox county.

Hey, how was rehearsal?

Oh, the band is really good.

So are you.

Oh, thanks, Julie.

Hey, Steve sorrell is gonna be sitting at the captain's table

tonight, so you'll get a chance to meet him before the show.

Oh, terrific.

You know, I've always want--

oh, no.

Huh?

Aren't they terrific, the Scofields?

Hey, by the way, they said that they're old fans of yours.

They heard you sing.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I used to do a lot of hillbilly stuff.

Hmm.

You know, that real unsophisticated type

of hoedown music.

Sure doesn't take much to please people like them.

Hey, Danny, they're lovely people.

And at this stage of your career,

you need all the fans you can get.

Yeah, well, thanks.

I'll try to remember that.

Isaac, I think you've got my cummerbund.

How can you tell?

I know whose I've got.

Vastly amusing.

No wonder you can't find anything.

You're all slobs.

Guys, come on.

Listen, now where's my other cuff link?

Try your other cuff.

Look, gentlemen, we have to get a move on.

Diner begins at 8:00.

Oh, dinner at 8:00.

That's pretty catchy.

Come on.

Wait a-- wait a minute, man.

What are you doing?

- Guys, come on. - Hey, you're pushing!

Let's just get down there!

Just keep moving!

Ok, give me my jacket.

I don't have your jacket.

Well, you're wearing it, and it's on inside out.

Isaac, Issac, this is yours.

You must have mine.

Wait a minute.

Whose jacket is this then?

Oh, I wish we were alone.

Dave, we are alone.

We're just with other people.

I like other people.

We always go away alone.

Now, why don't you try to be just a little

more social just this one time?

It wouldn't hurt you.

Oh, hi.

Lord, you look stunning.

Sorry we're late.

Oh, that's quite all right.

Listen, what would you folks like to drink?

Nothing for me.

I'd just like some food.

Oh, so would I. I'm starved.

Then let's get the lady something to eat.

Let's get all the ladies something to eat.

Good evening.

Good evening, captain.

How is your, uh, research coming along?

Oh, splendidly.

I'm getting reams of material.

Excuse me, will you, captain?

Of course.

Luke, you're harder to find than a junebug in December,

I swear.

I'm sorry I'm late.

You know, my pappy used to say that if a woman don't show up

late, she ain't coming at all.

Oh, I just think it's a powerful shame that Danny

can't eat here with us.

I mean, especially since we ain't seen him all day.

It's just so nice having the whole family here

together again.

Danny's got important people to meet.

Well, it seems to me kinfolk's pretty important people, too.

A fella should not ignore them.

You ain't no kinfolk yet, Elmer.

And you're not gonna be if you bad mouth Danny.

Capt. Stubing?

Yes?

I'd like you to meet Steve sorrell.

Oh, good evening, Mr. Sorrell.

How are you?

And Mr. Sorrell, I'd like you to meet

our featured entertainer, Mr. Danny fields.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, uh, Julie's told me a lot about you.

Miss vernie, grandpa's got a little surprise for you.

Oh, Floyd!

Don't go flapping your gums, boy!

You're gonna ruin it!

What's that, Luke?

I ain't a-saying.

Oh, Luke.

Well, I figured that seeing's how you hail from Miller

crossing, you probably was getting

hungry for some real old down home vittles.

Oh, well, I sure am.

Grandpa went in the kitchen and fixed a treat just for you.

Oh, you shouldn't have gone to all that trouble, Luke.

Bet you can't guess what it is.

Oh, I wouldn't dare.

Neck bones and gravy!

Neck bones?

Oh, boy.

They was gonna throw them out.

Grandpa fixes the finest neck bones in Cox county.

Well, go ahead.

Help yourself.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, boy, howdy.

My mama never made neck bones like that.

Oh, weren't nothing.

Looks like grandpa done took a shine to you.

He don't fix neck bones for just everybody.

Oh, they's good.

Good eats, huh?

Indeed.

Cynthia, would you, uh, please pass me the salt?

Would you care for the pepper, dear?

No, thank you.

You've been singing long, Danny?

Well, about as long as I can remember.

Not professionally, of course.

Oh, Mr. Sorrell, wait till you hear him sing.

Danny's about the best young singer I've ever heard.

Julie.

He's got everything-- talent, looks, charm.

Before ms McCoy was a cruise director, she sold used cars.

Excuse me, captain.

Yes?

I just wanted to say that me and mine think

you got a right fine boat here.

Why, it's as cozy as a dry barn in a hailstorm.

Why, thank you very much, Mr. Scofield.

I was just wondering-- uh, I was kinda hoping that,

uh, maybe Danny here could come over and set a spell with us.

It'd make the missus right cheerful.

Oh.

Well, of course, that is completely up to Mr. Fields.

Well, uh--

i'm, uh, kind of busy right now, but I'll

look for you later, ok?

I'm much obliged.

Good fruit cocktail, isn't it?

[Disco music playing]

Seems like Danny's got himself a swelled head in the city.

Oh, I don't know.

I guess we can't expect things to be just the way

it was before he went away.

No.

No, of course not.

That boy's got so much on his mind now.

Listen, I wager the second that man hears him sing,

he's just gonna come over here and tell us all about it.

I reckon you're right.

After everything, we're still his kin.

Let's dance, Elmer.

I'll show you how.

Now, look, kitty.

I-- I told you, that's not for me.

Good evening.

Howdy.

Howdy.

You must be Elmer.

Uh, Steve sorrell.

Hi.

I thought you might wanna try out some of the steps

we learned in disco class.

Oh.

You don't mind, do you?

Go ahead.

Thanks.

Shall we?

Think you're ready for some more complicated steps?

I'm ready for anything.

It's getting kinda stuffy in here.

I think I'm gonna go outside and get me some of that sea air.

Well, Floyd, why is he letting that happen?

Must have his reasons, Emmy.

Trina.

Mmm, what a beautiful name.

I think your name's beautiful, too.

Doc.

You realize, of course, it was fate that brought us together

tonight, and fate should be toasted

with champagne and soft music in some intimate place,

like your cabin.

I don't think my mother would like it if I

showed up with you and fate.

Let's go to your place.

My place.

Yes, well, uh, would you wait here?

Excuse me.

Hi, Julie.

Hi.

Vicki.

Uh, Julie, can I talk to you?

Sure.

I mean, can I talk to you man to man?

Uh, woman to man?

Uh, you know.

Doc, what are you babbling about?

Well, uh, my friend and I were looking for some quiet spot

where we could play some backgammon,

and I thought maybe if you weren't using your cabin--

oh, I'm sorry, doc, but I was planning to go

to sleep very early tonight.

Oh.

Well, uh, thanks anyway.

Sure.

Vicki.

Well, are we gonna go to your place?

That depends.

How long can you tread water?

I wonder why they wanna play backgammon.

You think they'd be playing post office and stuff.

You know, you're a terrific dancer.

Let's see, what's an appropriate award for a star pupil?

I have it.

Champagne and caviar (french accent) Under the moonlight.

Caviar?

What does fish eggs taste like?

Well, like a tiny bit of heaven, only saltier.

[Disco music playing]

Them folks sick?

No, they just dancing.

Dancing?

Shoot, they look like they just grabbed

a hold of a hot electric wire.

Excuse me, I gotta do something about fixing that music.

Why are we going to the captain's cabin?

You're not the captain, are you?

Uh, no, not exactly.

But I am hoping for a field promotion.

Just step across the threshold and enter paradise.

Gee, I love that kind of talk.

It's salty.

That must taste pretty funny with orange juice.

Can't go against my daddy.

He never cottoned to spirits like, wouldn't let us touch it.

Much as I appreciate you ordering the wine.

I've never met anybody like you, kitty.

Most of the girls I meet have seen and done it all.

They're pretty bored, and they're pretty boring.

I'm sorry.

I'm glad.

They make a perfect background for a standout like you.

Why, what a beautiful thing to say.

To a beautiful woman.

Oh, I got no call to be here leading you on like this.

I'm not doing right by you or by my folks or by Elmer.

Uh, please, could we go in now?

We're gonna miss the show.

No.

I don't wanna share you with anybody.

Steve.

Nice earrings.

I had a hard time explaining them.

Would you believe.

I said I found them?

You're kidding.

No.

Oh, Dave believes everything and sees nothing.

It's his charm.

I want you.

Oh, god.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

No, maura might see.

Oh, maura won't see.

She's a dynamite cook but a lousy detective.

Oh, frank.

Anything I can get you?

Yeah, a new husband.

[Theme music]

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