Original subtitles

♪Love, exciting and new.♪

♪Come aboard, we're expecting you♪

♪love, life's sweetest reward.♪

♪Let it flow, it floats back to you♪

♪the love boat soon will be making another run.♪

♪The love boat promises something for everyone♪

♪set a course for adventure♪

♪your mind on a new romance♪

♪Love won't hurt anymore.♪

♪It's an open smile on a friendly shore♪

♪yes, love .welcome aboard, it's love.♪

Excuse me, how long before we sail?

Oh, about in another half an hour, sir.

Thank you.

Don't worry.

She'll make it.

Pardon me?

Well, I figured a handsome man like you --

well, thank you again.

Yes, sir -- that's the late-sitting dinner.

Eight o'clock.

Thank you.

Welcome aboard.

Now...ma'am...

Yes, mrs.Corwin, you're in one-thirty, fiesta deck.

Me?

I'm standing right here.

You must have me mixed up with another Mrs. Corwin.

No, ma'am -- I meant your cabin's on fiesta deck.

Room one-thirty.

Oh, thank you.

Hi.

Welcome aboard.

Let's see...

Okay, you first.

That's aloha deck.

That's right through here.

Cabin three twenty-five.

Now, let's see...

Oh, doc, would you gimme a hand, will ya?

I'm going crazy here.

Are you kidding?

I'm a physician, not a room clerk.

Well...maybe just this once.

Excuse me.

Mumbles (unintelligible) Hi!

Welcome aboard.

Thanks, doc.

I'll take over.

Hi!

I'm yeoman purser Smith.

Doctor Adam bricker.

I'm Melanie Taylor.

And this is my friend, Jane Cole.

And if you'll help us find our cabin, you'll have a friend for life.

I'll not only help you find it, I'll move in with you.

Well, with Jane and me and only two beds, I think it'll be a little bit crowded.

Don't you?

Oh, I don't mind doubling up if you don't.

Hi.

As the ship's official medical representative, I have to veto that idea.

Overcrowded cabins are a serious health hazard.

Oh...and what do you suggest we do, doctor?

Come to my cabin instead.

Can I come too?

I always wanted to see how doctors operate.

There you go, guys...

You're in cabin c-one-twenty-two on the coral deck.

Have a wonderful cruise.

Thanks, babe.

Hello, beautiful lady!

Hi, I'm Mike Andrews.

-This is my friend, Doug ketcham

-hi.

--And we've come to rescue you from this dangerous nautical type.

Do I look like I need rescuing?

You really can't trust a grown man in a sailor suit.

Okay, then I'll put on my stethoscope -- we could play doctor.

Melanie -- I don't want to scare you, but if you attract any more guys to this side of the ship,

And you are on promenade deck, cabin three-forty, and that's the early sitting.

Thank you.

Welcome aboard.

Can't you process the passengers more efficiently, purser?

I mean, I've been standing here for three minutes and fourteen seconds by the clock.

Well, I'm sorry, sir.

Everybody's just boarding at once.

That's twenty-one seconds.

The name is waterman.

Waterman.

Dusty...

Mr.dusty waterman.

Marvin.

Oh, dusty Marvin.

Good, I don't have a waterman.

But, gopher, I can't find fiesta deck.

Well, I'm sure it's where we left it, ma'am.

Listen, just through the lobby, into the elevator and down a floor.

Oh, thank you, gopher.

Not at all.

And I've forgotten my cabin number and I don't know what time dinner is.

One-thirty.

Isn't that early for dinner?

No, that's your cabin number.

Dinner is at eight.

Oh.

Now I've got everything straight.

Good.

Where's the lobby?

Close your eyes...

Taaa-daaa...

Oh, thank you, gopher.

Marvin waterman.

It's been exactly five minutes, eighteen seconds on the nose...

Yes, sir.

Myet kyorsky prozhniev podolsk?

Hi.

Zidrecsky.

Zidrecsky.

Oh, zidrecsky.

Oh...

Mr.zidreczky.

I'm taking care of mister...

Waterman!

You wait.

Wait.

You -- promenade deck, three three.

Mumbling (unintelligible) Just up these stairs, and turn right.

So why don't you just slip into something casual and have fun.

This is something casual.

Gopher, you should hear this too.

I just had a tip from one of my friends at the head office.

The line is sending one of their inspectors on this cruise.

Now, he'll be checking up on all of us and sending back a report on how we perform our duties.

Now, my advice to all of you is watch your step.

What's the problem, sir?

We'll treat him like a king.

The problem is I don't know who he is.

It could be any one on the ship.

Well, it's not me.

That narrows it down.

Sir, you have nothing to worry about.

We're a great crew.

Sure.

When it comes to services, we cover the bases from a to z.

"Z!" oh...

I left Mr.

Zidreczsky out on the deck.

We'd better start worrying.

Sarah!

Hi.

You look gorgeous.

Oh.

I couldn't have changed that much in three weeks.

I don't know...Three weeks without you is much, much more than twenty-one days.

No wonder he was nervous.

She's worth waiting for.

Well, he's not exactly yesterday's mashed potatoes either.

Worth waiting for, isn't she?

That's what doc was just saying.

And then Julie said, you're --

I said...Excuse me...

You're Mr...?

Sherwood.

Brian Sherwood.

And this is mrs.Sarah lambert.

-Well, how do you do --

-hi.

Let's see...

Mr. Sherwood, you're in cabin three-fifty on the promenade deck...And Mrs.

Lambert -- what do you know?

You're right next door, cabin three-forty-eight.

They're connecting.

Thank you.

You didn't have to get two rooms.

I thought you might like some privacy.

Besides, I didn't want to tarnish your reputation.

Y'know, that Mike is really cute.

I've got my eye on him.

Yeah, and if you saw the look in his eyes, you'd know the feeling is mutual.

Not to mention the other three guys

you're going to have a ball, as usual.

Well, you are, too!

Oh, I don't know.

I wish you never talked me into coming on this cruise.

Why?

Well...because this is your scene, not mine.

And I'm afraid I'm going to be a drag to you.

Oh, you are not.

Now come on, none of this negative stuff.

We're both going to have a great time and we're going to have lots of dates.

Yeah, you'll get the dates and I'll get the pits!

You mean the front office sent somebody on board to check up on us?

Yeah, but as Julie says, we don't have anything to worry about.

Hey, we're a terrific crew.

I don't know.

A friend of mine, cleofus, now he thought he was part of a pretty good crew, too.

But after the inspector came on his ship, they fired the engineer,

the cruise director and half the kitchen staff.

Boy!

That guy must've been pretty tough.

Excuse me, can you tell me where the doctor's office is?

Oh...

I'm the doctor.

Is anything bothering you?

No.

Well then...Why are you looking for the doctor's office?

Well, just in case something was bothering me, I wanted to know where to go.

But it wouldn't matter anyway, because if I went there, you wouldn't be there.

You'd be here.

Well, in that case, they'd page me -- and I'd come to you wherever you were.

Well, if you'd come to me wherever I was, then what do you need an office for?

She could be the inspector.

It's obvious they aren't going to send us anybody too obvious.

Obviously.

But she's so UN-obvious it makes her obvious.

I didn't think of that.

Obviously.

Aha.

I think I know who the inspector is.

Did you ever see a more suspicious looking pair of legs?

We can't take any chances.

I better go investigate.

Hi...

Thank you.

Thank you, Isaac.

Sure.

Oh, would you start a tab for me, please?

Promenade, cabin three-forty-eight.

No, I'm in three-forty-eight.

You're in three-fifty.

Oh, that's right.

Cabin three-fifty please.

Well -- I'd better watch you.

You know it's pretty tough when a guy can't sneak a drink through on a girl's bill.

You okay?

Fine.

Just add a little cough syrup to my next Martini, will you --?

Is there any other way to make 'em?

Well...to our time together.

That's my favorite toast.

How's your husband?

You never can bring yourself to call him by his name.

Fred...

How is he?

He's well.

And the marriage?

Better.

Not good, but better.

Are you planning to stay with him?

I think so...For the children.

That's always a difficult decision.

Very...

Let's see, you've been divorced for four years now.

Look how long you stayed married for your children.

-If you ever decide --

-please.

This is supposed to be our time together away from the rest of the world.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

Well...excuse me, both of you.

I'm going to go pick up some film in the gift shop.

Oh, thank you.

I have to go, too.

I hear they're having a sale on scalpels.

Hi, Jane.

Where's Melanie?

Oh, she went to the gift shop with doc.

Oh.

Thanks, Jane.

See you later.

Hi,jane.

Hi.

Where's Melanie?

She's in the gift shop with doc and Mike.

Thanks, see you around.

Myet kyorsky prozhniev podolsk?

She's in the gift shop!

You've had this lovely young lady long enough.

Time to share with friends.

Some things you don't share, even with a friend.

Very possessive, isn't he?

You think this is bad?

You should see how he is with his Teddy bear!

I love watching them.

Such a good time together -- they're always touching.

Who?

Mr.sherwood and his friend.

That's not touching.

That's cradle snatching.

You don't have a poetic bone in your body.

Well, Julie, he is a little old for her, wouldn't you say?

I think you're jealous.

Good evening.

Good evening, sir.

Good evening, captain.

Captain, you're a man of the world.

Why, thank you.

Wouldn't you say that man over there is just a little bit too old for that lady?

I don't know.

He looks about five years older than I do.

Older???

Five years older?

I would've guessed ten.

Yes...i can see myself with a woman that age.

They do look happy together.

If it works for them, that's what's important, isn't it?

After all, it is their affair.

That's the word for it.

Now, here's your drink, sir.

Thank you.

Say...how come you're not out on the dance floor dancing with one of those beautiful ladies?

Your crew has them all.

When do they find time to do their work?

Well, that is part of their work.

That's why they never go on strike.

May I cut in for medical reasons?

What medical reasons?

I'm sick of you dancing with her.

Hi, Jane.

Hi, gopher.

Listen, when Melanie gets back, would you please tell that things for her.

Oh, of course.

Thanks.

Having a good time?

Oh, yeah.

Good.

'Bye.

'Bye.

I'm definitely having a thrilling time,

watching Melanie dance and watching Melanie's drink...!

May I cut in?

Sure, try that couple over there.

Get lost, pal.

Welcome home.

Myet kyorsky prozhniev podolsk?

I don't know.

Can you hum a few bars?

Do you mind sharing this table?

Oh, not at all.

Who with?

Me.

Oh, excuse me.

I'm such a ninny.

Beautiful day, wasn't it?

Mmm, yes.

Did you take a swim?

Well, I was going to but I didn't know how I'd get back on the ship again.

Didn't anyone tell you about the ship's pool?

Oh, I never gamble.

Very interesting.

Gamble...

Well, I know who the inspector is.

Who?

It's mr.Waterman.

He's been asking all the passengers questions and taking notes.

That's the guy that was checking for dirt and walking around with a stop watch.

What'll we do?

We don't do anything.

We treat him exactly the same as any other passenger.

Hi, mr.Waterman.

How are you this evening?

How's your cabin?

Would you like to dance?

Feeling all right, sir?

Mr.waterman, I got some champagne here that I know you're going to be...

Wait a minute, wait a minute...

Would you care to come up to see the bridge?

Why don't you come in for a while, Mike?

Well, I don't usually go to a strange woman's cabin on the first date,

but in your case, I'll make an exception.

Oh, Janie...

I didn't mean to disturb you.

See you later.

Okay?

Well, now what are we going to do?

How about your cabin?

Same problem.

Doug's in there.

Well, I guess it's back to the acapulco lounge.

I wasn't exactly in the mood for more dancing.

Uh-huh...

Oh Doug, am I glad to see you.

You are?

Yeah, I have a big favor to ask you --

you want me to get rid of this masher?

No, no...

I want you to get rid of my roommate.

How about asking her out for a drink?

Yeah, for old time's sake...What do you say, old buddy?

Well, if I don't you guys are going to make a spectacle of yourselves

here in the passageway, and embarrass the hell out of me.

Thanks, Doug.

Thanks, old buddy.

Hi, Jane.

Melanie's out.

I'm not looking for Melanie.

I'm looking for you.

Would you like to have a drink with me?

So, who'd you lose out to -- doc or Mike?

Mike.

Figures.

Let me get my purse.

Let's go.

There you go, Mr. Waterman.

Can I get you another pillow, sir?

No.

Can I get you something to help you sleep?

No, doc.

How 'bout a little nightcap?

No.

Listen, if you people don't let me get some sleep, I'll never be able to finish my book.

Your book?

Of course.

I'm a writer.

Why do you think I've been making those notes?

You're not an inspector?

An inspector?

I'm an author.

You mean you haven't read my books?

They're absolute classics.

Take this one -- Marvin the horse goes skydiving.

Very good.

Wonderful.

Marvin the fish goes to Hollywood.

Marvin the mosquito falls in love.

Oh hey, I missed that one.

When I was a kid, for Pete's sake.

Now, leave me alone so I can finish my latest and greatest...

Marvin the camel takes a cruise.

And you're all in it.

We're sorry, mr.Waterman, we'll leave you alone.

Have a good night.

We won't bother you again.

Goodnight.

Do you mind?

I love your work.

Oh, terrific!

They're in there and I'm out here.

Now where am I supposed to sleep?

I knew I shouldn't have come on this trip with her.

She always does this to me.

You can sleep in my cabin.

But, Doug, we just met.

Oh no, that's not what I meant.

I'm not asking you to...Uh...Well, you know what I mean.

No, I don't.

What do you mean?

Well, Mike's inside with Melanie so obviously there's an empty bed in my cabin.

You might as well use it.

It's convenient.

Too convenient.

I promise I'll sleep on my side and you'll sleep on your side.

There'll be no hanky-panky.

Scout's honor.

Well, if you can't trust a scout, who can you trust?

Right.

Just promise me one thing.

What?

Don't rub two sticks together and start a fire.

You'll never get tired of new York, will you?

Never.

It's one of a kind.

The men always wear ties, and the ladies always wear dresses,

and the city is always on the verge of bankruptcy.

What about Beverly Hills?

Oh, it never changes.

We all sit there in our sixty dollar jeans and watch the smog.

Charming.

Oh, you should see my new penthouse.

Knowing how you like flowers, I planted a whole roof garden.

How do you get anything to grow in that New York soot?

I figured out a way.

I planted black flowers.

When are you coming back to L.A.

Again?

Oh...in about a month, I hope.

Pardon.

They look better on you than on Mike.

Oh yeah...Perfect fit.

Here, let me get that for you.

No, thank you.

I am perfectly capable of rolling up my own pajama sleeve.

Thank you.

Please let me do that for you ?

I'm not trying to take them off, I'm just trying to roll them up.

There -- isn't that better?

Well, would you like something to eat?

I can call room service.

No.

I'm not hungry.

Well, then, would you like a nightcap?

A magazine?

Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do.

Let's go to bed.

What?

To sleep.

Oh.

Goodnight, Jane.

Mr.waterman, I just wanted to make sure you were getting enough attention.

Did I tell you how handsome you look this morning?

No.

Well, you do.

Very handsome.

Actually, you did.

But I just wanted to hear it again.

Oh ha-ha...

Don't leave me.

Darling, if it were only up to me...

Hi, sexy lady!

-Hello --

-hi, Jane.

Hi.

Guess where she spent the night?

Doug? Oh that son of a gun.

All my training hasn't been in vein.

Was everything to your satifaction?

Oh, yes...

You have beautiful pajamas -- but I think you should have the sleeves shortened.

I'll see the tailor after lunch.

Come on, Melanie, I'm starving.

Okay.

We'll see you later, Jane.

'Bye, Janie.

Have fun.

'Bye.

Hey-hey...

Hello.

Now, I've got to admit I like that outfit a little better than the one you had on last night.

Of course it doesn't fit as well.

By the way, where did you go this morning?

I wanted to thank you for last night.

You must be an early riser.

Well, not really, I just figured you'd want some privacy when you got up.

You seemed a little uncomfortable last night.

Oh...

Uncomfortable?

Me?

Where did you get a crazy idea like that?

Oh, it's just a wild guess.

I never saw anybody sleep sitting up all night, holding a sheet like this.

How about some lunch?

In your cabin or the dining room?

Let's try the dining room.

I don't think you could eat much through a sheet.

How could we ever suspect a guy who wrote Marvin the worm bakes a pie?

Well, it's gotta be somebody.

Hey, you guys -- guess who made three ship-to-shore phone calls yesterday?

Marvin the radio operator?

No.

Mrs.corwin

nah.

We already eliminated her.

Isaac, you make the best coffee I ever tasted.

Oh, thank you.

And the sweet rolls are delicious.

I'm going to mention this in my next report.

Now wasn't that a wonderful elevator ride?

Look, I'm just going to buy a couple of postcards.

I mean, I really don't need all this attention.

Oh, but that's what we're here for.

We'll help you pick 'em out.

We're just treating you like we do every other passenger.

Oh, you've been much too kind already.

Oh, by the way, thanks for the copy of Marvin the flea goes to Harvard.

Now, let's see, I needed to buy two post cards,

and there was one more thing I needed before we get into Ensenada.

Myet kyorsky prozhniev podolsk?

That's it.

A Spanish dictionary.

Hi.

Hi.

I stopped by yesterday and had it made up special.

What is it?

You'll see.

Close your eyes.

You didn't have to do that.

I know, but I wanted to.

Okay.

I always wanted to buy you a diamond.

You're crazy.

I was going to have it mounted in a ring.

Oh, the ace of diamonds from my king of hearts.

Y'know, I've been thinking, after the cruise I'd like to go back to New York with you.

Sarah, we've been all through this.

Please, I want to.

No.

Darling, we have an agreement.

Isaac, another fogcutter for mrs.Corwin.

Oh no, captain.

One more of those and I won't be able to steer the ship straight.

Oh no, no...

You're the one who steers the ship, I'm the passenger.

Oh, what the hey, Isaac, one more fogcutter.

A fogcutter.

Not you.

You're driving.

You know, it's sure nice of Doug to keep Jane occupied this way, isn't it?

Yeah, he's going way beyond the call of duty.

He's a heck of good buddy.

Fine cognac.

A perfect ending to a perfect meal.

Do you remember the first time you ever took me out for dinner?

I mean, y'know, just the two of us alone?

Of course.

Le gronouille.

In fact, I still remember what you were wearing.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

You had on a pale blue dress with lace around the neckline and long sleeves.

You're incredible.

You know what I remember?

What?

I remember how impressed I was that the maitre d' greeted you so personally and shook your

Oh, that's just because he knew there was a twenty dollar bill in it.

And then when we left, I remember thinking "gee,

i hope I'm the only girl he ever brings here."

Then later, I remember,you carried me into the bedroom.

I think that fellow at the next table is listening.

He just drank his candle.

Another fogcutter, mrs.Corwin?

Oh no, thank you.

I'll be in no condition to call in my report.

I understand.

Business before pleasure.

What business?

My daughter paid for my trip.

She makes me call her twice a day to tell her everything i'm doing.

Your daughter?

Well, maybe it's my niece.

They look so much alike.

Well, it's been lovely.

Thank you.

Myet kyorsky prozhniev podolsk?

Why certainly.

I was just leaving.

I really had fun today, Jane.

Yeah.

Me, too.

Pick you up for breakfast -- eight o'clock, okay?

Okay.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Well, looks like your favorite couple's going to close the joint.

Yeah...aren't they terrific?

They're never out of each other's sight.

You know, I've seen a lot of couples come and go, but those two have a relationship that's

Yeah.

Well, goodnight, everybody.

Well, goodnight, Isaac.

Good night, doc.

See you in the morning.

Goodnight, Julie.

Just one more, please.

And do you know 'you and I?' Would you play that, please?

Thanks.

(Singing) You and I know the reason why the summer sky is blue...

And we know why birds in the trees

sing melodies to me...

And our love will grow from the first hello until the last goodbye....

Sarah!

Sarah...

Are you all right?

Tonight Mike invited Melanie to my cabin.

Well, don't just stand there.

Come on in.

Listen, if you're uncomfortable about this, just tell me and I'll find someplace else to go.

Oh no, no, no...

I'm not uncomfortable.

I'm just worried about one thing.

What's that?

How are you going to look in Melanie's pajamas?

Would you like something to eat?

I can call room service.

No, thanks.

I'm not hungry.

How 'bout a nightcap?

Magazine?

Oh, well, guess there's only one thing left for us to do.

Let's go to bed.

I'm sorry for that display.

I know.

Sarah...this isn't easy for either of us.

What am I going to do without you?

What am I going to do?

I'm gonna go and get us some coffee.

Okay?

I'll be right back.

You'd better be.

Hey, old buddy, I haven't seen you around.

Where you been?

Well, Jane and I have been keeping pretty busy.

Yeah, I'll bet.

Hey, I gotta tell you, old buddy -- you have really been a heckuva good sport about this.

And I won't forget it, either.

What do you mean?

Well, you know, keeping Jane out of our hair the way you've been doing.

Yeah, asking her out for a drink the other night...That was terrific.

But keeping her busy so Mike and I could be alone together, that's even better.

Here's your coffee.

Jane!

Good-bye.

Oh...good morning.

Good morning.

Where's mr.Sherwood?

This is the first time I've ever seen you two apart.

Well, he had a very restless night, so I'm letting him sleep late.

I didn't want to wake him.

Oh, I wish somebody'd do that for me.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

How about Marvin the mole meets Starsky and Hutch?

No, it won't work.

Marvin the mole only works alone.

Myet kyorsky prozhniev podolsk?

Isn't that wonderful?

They've translated your books into every language.

Well, we know the inspector is not mrs.Corwin or Mr. Waterman.

That narrows it down.

Yeah, how many passengers does that leave?

Five hundred and ninety-eight.

This is not going to be easy.

Well, what're we going to do?

Well, we make sure that everybody gets special treatment before we hit L.A.

Right.

Well, let's get to it.

Jane?

Jane?

Open up!

I'm going to stay here until you do.

I know hearing what they said must've hurt, but what you don't know is what I was going to say

that they did me a favor!

You're different from any girl I've ever met.

You're quiet and sensitive and real.

You don't have to worry that you're not like Melanie.

You're you.

You're special.

Well, anyway, I just wanted you to know...

I love you.

Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?!

Well, I'm glad to see you two finally made up.

Would you mind if we use the cabin?

Yes, we would!

Let's go, sleepyhead.

Wake up.

We've got a lot of packing to do.

Mrs. Lambert?

Yes.

May we have a word with you in your cabin, please?

What is it?

Please.

What is it?

Tell me...Please.

Mr.sherwood...a few hours ago...

He isn't...

No, no.

He's still alive.

But he's in great pain.

That's why I thought it best that we take him to a hospital as quickly as possible.

I had a launch take him to los Angeles about an hour ago.

He asked me not to tell you...But he wanted me to give you this.

Please...will one of you read it?

'My dearest darling Sarah...

The end is coming sooner than the doctors foresaw;

and as we agreed, I want to see this thing through alone.

The short time I have left would only be torture for us both.

So I have left you while joy was still with us,

as it has been from the moment I first saw your beautiful face...

Do not fret, my darling, Sarah.

Only my life is ending.

My undying love for you will live on.

Your devoted father.'

where is he?

What hospital?

He asked me not to say.

Look.

My father and I had a bargain that he wanted to do this his way.

But now I...

Please, tell me where he is.

Doctor bricker is in a sensitive position.

He has a doctor/patient trust to uphold.

Please.he needs me.

Even if it's just to hold his hand...And say goodbye.

Please!

Adam, I'm not a doctor.

He's at cedars sinai in los Angeles.

We'll be docking in about an hour.

I'll get you there.

That inspector is driving us all crazy...!

I think I just broke the world's record for consecutive ping-pong games while playing

I'm exhausted.

You?

I'm going to put a sign over my bar 'over one million served.'

Hi.

Can I help you?

You're the only two I haven't done anything for.

Is that the way you lounge around when there's an inspector on board?

Marvin the author falls in love.

How about that Mrs. Corwin?

Hmm?

Wait'll my daughter gets this report.

Oh, dear...

It's been great, Melanie.

You're a beautiful, sexy lady.

And you're a beautiful, sexy man.

Well, I'll see you sometime.

Okay?

Uh...when?

You know...Sometime.

Goodbye.

I'll go get us all a cab, okay?

Okay.

Don't be too long.

Well, what can I say?

We're an item.

Well, maybe you can ask him to fix me up with a friend.

Come back again,.

'Bye.

We've arranged for a car to take you to the hospital.

Thank you both for everything.

I'm very sorry, mrs.Lambert.

Don't be.

My father and I had as near perfect a relationship as god will allow.

My god.

He was her father and I thought there was something going on...

Why is it that we always think the worst of people instead of the best?

(Garbled) I must see someone in charge

immediately!

Oh, well, sir you're in luck...Here's the captain...

Oh, I am the company inspector for the Princess line.

You're the inspector?

I don't remember seeing you on this cruise.

Well, that's what I was trying to say.

My father drove me to the dock and disappeared.

And while I was rushing around trying to find him, the ship sailed without me.

Myet kyorsky prozhniev podolsk...!

Papa!!

Excuse me, that phrase that your father just used --

myet kyorsky prozhniev podolsk...' What does that mean?

It means...

'Have you seen my son, the inspector?'

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