Original subtitles

Love,

exciting and new

come aboard,

we're expecting you.

Love,

life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow,

it floats back to you.

Love boat

soon will be making another run.

The love boat

promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,

your mind on a new romance.

Love

won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile

on a friendly shore.

Yes, love

welcome aboard,

it's love.

Somehow, eighty-six degrees,

bright sunshine and a smog alert

don't say Christmas to me.

What's missing is snow.

Of course it's missing.

It's eighty six-degrees.

Oh, I sure wish I was up

in Oregon with my folks.

You know, this is the first

Christmas I've ever spent

without my family.

How do you think I feel?

I never spent Christmas with

your family.

But, I know what you mean,

Julie.

I mean, Christmas time should be

family time.

I would've been in Las Vegas.

Nothing more traditional than

Christmas at a crap table.

But it is traditional.

Every year my ex-wives get

together and treat me to a big

Turkey dinner.

Sort of their way of saying

thanks.

We always spend Christmas

at my uncle delmer's farm.

We arrive at nine o'clock on

Christmas morning and by ten

we're sitting down to a big

pancake breakfast and syrup.

At eleven o'clock we open the

Christmas presents, and then at

one-thirty we all go out for a

walk.

By two-thirty everybody's ready

for a nap.

Sounds like fun.

Good morning.

Oh, good morning, sir.

Well, we nap for about an hour or so,

and then at three-thirty, Bob,

that's my brother,

he takes the kids to

visit the neighbors.

Then at six-fifteen, my aunt

Lillian brings out a big

Christmas goose and we eat

ourselves right into oblivion.

Then at eight, we drag ourselves

away from the table and...

Go to bed?

No, then we go caroling

door to door.

Then you go to bed.

No, then we burn the tradi..

You see, sir, we're all feeling

a little homesick about

having to spend Christmas aboard.

Really?

I've never done anything else.

Oh, but, sir, wouldn't you

rather spend Christmas with

your family than at sea?

Miss McCoy, as you know,

I'm divorced.

My family consists of my father

and his new wife, and they live

in Florida.

So, as far as I'm concerned --

Christmas is just another

working day.

-- And speaking of work...

All: Right.

Yes, sir.

Sure.

Right.

Sir -- I know that we

don't normally exchange

presents, but I was thinking

that seeing as how we're gonna

be at sea on Christmas day...

Mr. Smith,

a rule is a rule.

No presents.

Aye-aye, sir.

-- Scrooge lives.

Good morning,ladies and gentlemen

and welcome to our annual three-day

Christmas voyage to Ensenada.

Bon voyage and merry Christmas!

Hello.

Welcome aboard.

Hey, Julie.

Look at those two.

Five bucks says they're not

married.

Oh, no way.

They're newlyweds.

Oh please.

They're lovers.

Bet?

Bet.

Oh, darling, this is wonderful.

I'm so glad you brought me on

this cruise.

I'm glad I brought you,too.

(In his mind)If I didn't bring you,

i would have to kiss you goodbye.

It'll be fun.

Just the two of us at sea.

Oh, yes it will.

Audrey's voice: I'd rather be in

a swamp with idi amin.

Newlyweds.

Lovers.

Five big ones.

Hi.

We're mr.And Mrs. Baynes.

Well, hi, how are you? Hi.

The check's in the mail.

Welcome aboard.

This is assistant purser Smith

and I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise

director.

How do you do? Welcome aboard.

I'm sure you'll enjoy our

Christmas cruise.

Paul's voice: A Christmas cruise

with her.

(Sings) 'Tis the season to be

seasick.'

Audrey's voice: And after

Christmas what?

New year's Eve.

Oh my god!

I'm gonna have to kiss him

again.

And we hope you both

have a wonderful time.

Huh?

What?

I'm sorry.

I guess I was daydreaming.

You were saying?

Yes, sir.

I was saying that you're in

cabin three-forty-four,

promenade deck.

You'll have to forgive Paul.

He's just so thrilled, he's a

little out of it.

Paul's voice: Out of it?

That's what I want.

Out of it!

And don't forget, our gift shop

will be open if you need

to buy any last minute presents.

Thanks.

Audrey's voice: Oooo, I hope he

gives me what I want this

Christmas -- a divorce.

And I promise I won't exchange

it.

Goodbye.

Bye-bye.

Well now, that's what I

call a happily married couple.

I can spot 'em like that.

I don't wanna talk about it.

Honey?

Uh?

Relax.

I can't help it.

I think everyone's staring at me.

I feel like I'm wearing a sign

that says 'ex-con.'

you've gotta get that out

of your head.

You're not a criminal.

You never were.

You were innocent.

I know that and you know that.

Too bad the jury didn't know that.

Honey,i can't erase the last three years.

You got a raw deal.

But that's behind you now.

Let's make a brand new start on

our future, huh?

Okay.

Oh, purser.

Yes, ma'am.

We're mr.And Mrs. Barton.

Ah,welcome aboard.

Now, let's see.

Barton...uh -- aloha deck,

cabin three-fifty-three.

Right through there.

Thank you.

Gee, mr.Barton,

you look like you could

use a little sunshine.

Probably working too hard, huh?

Okay, guys.

Now, settle down.

Settle down.

Hi, Julie.

Oh, hi!

Welcome aboard, father Mike.

It's good to see you again.

Tony, get off that rail.

I ain't on the rail.

No, but you were

thinking about it.

Julie, I'd like you to meet

Mario, Artie, Ben, Mitch,

peanut...

Hi.

And Tony.

Hello.

All: Hi.

The first one of 'em

that gives you any lip,

throw 'em over the side.

Well, you guys have fun.

Okay, guys, let's get

going, huh?

Now -- no running, and no

pushing, no shoving.

And no fighting.

Can we breathe?

Let me think about it.

Was that father Mike?

Yes, sir.

He brought six kids with him

this year.

Oh well, I hope they

behave themselves.

Well, sir, they're kids.

They're supposed to have fun.

That's the whole idea of

bringing these orphans on a

holiday.

Just keep them off the bridge.

Yes, sir.

Oh, did you know that some guy

pays for a bunch of these kids

every year and nobody knows who

it is?

Swell.

Well, sir, did you ever ask

father Mike who puts up the money?

Obviously, somebody

with more dollars than sense.

Well, merry Christmas to you,

too, sir.

Honey?

Huh?

Would you like to have

dinner in the cabin tonight?

It's a lot -- cozier than the

dining room.

It's okay.

I'm ready to be with people.

Right now I'm the only people

I want you to be with.

I never deserved you, Lila

-- now even less than before.

Honey, everything's gonna

be all right.

When we get back home, you can

make a brand new start.

Sure.

What'll I do?

I'm a lawyer, Lila.

A lawyer who can't practice law.

You'll find something.

Yeah, maybe I'll just --

answer every ad I see for a

convicted embezzler.

Hi, merrill.

Oh, hi, father Mike.

How're the kids?

Oh, they're getting

ready for dinner.

I only had to break up one water

fight and one soap fight.

Well, at least they'll come to

dinner clean.

You're good with kids.

They're just short people.

Maybe that's why you're a priest and

-- I'm a captain.

I understand the sea...

People...

Something on your mind?

Me?

No.

Nothing.

"Nothing" can weigh a ton,

can't it?

Well, it's just so silly.

Here I am on a

ship full of people and...

And you're lonely.

Yeah.

And it's Christmas and

-- that's blowing it all outta

proportion.

I told you it was silly.

Y'know, that's what

steams me about Christmas.

It's supposed to bring people

closer,

so often it,isolates them.

Look, merrill, you must have

friends on the crew.

At best,

they tolerate me.

You're not only lonely,

you're -- feeling sorry for

yourself, too.

Hey, you don't

pussyfoot around, do you?

It's part of my charm.

Mike, I wanna be friendly with the crew

but I'm the captain.

I mean, I -- I can't be their

friend and lead them, too.

Really?

Well, I don't know.

I -- I heard of this leader once

who was a friend to everyone.

Well, he had this technique, he

used,

that really helped him

to get close to his 'crew'.

-- As I remember, it was something like,

'love thy neighbor as thyself.'

worked so well for him,

they celebrate his

birthday every year.

Right about now.

Yeah.

But how do I make that work for

me?

Merrill, your crew does more

than just run this ship.

They have all sorts of interests.

Find out about them.

Get involved, and do you know

what the result will be?

They'll celebrate my

birthday every year?

Right about now?

Only if you were born in December.

Are you sure you wouldn't

like a little wine,dear?

Are you silly?

You know I can't stand the taste

of alcohol.

I'll just stick with my iced tea.

Well, here's to us.

To us.

Paul's voice: How can I ask the

poor woman for a divorce?

It would break her heart.

She's so much in love with me.

Audrey's voice: Look how he's

looking at me.

Like a lovesick puppy.

How can I tell a guy like that

to kiss off?

Paul's voice: If I could only

get her to hate me.

Naw -- that's impossible.

I'm too perfect.

Audrey's voice: It's my own fault.

I've made life too pleasant for

him.

What're you looking for?

Oh -- nothing.

Nothing.

Honey, you know someone

you oughta call when we get back

home?

Walter Perry.

Look, darling, let's --

let's just forget about all that.

Why, he was more than just

your law partner, he was your

friend.

He never asked for a cent when

he defended you.

Oh, I know that.

And he was very good to me

while you were away.

He used to call all the time --

see if I needed any money or

anything.

Believe me, Walter Perry is a

good friend of yours.

I've gotta get some air.

I'll go with you.

No!

I -- I have some things to think

about.

I understand.

I'll,

be back in five minutes.

Take ten.

Hey, man,

what's happening?

Excuse me, sir.

I was just on my way up to the

lounge.

Oh well, well.

I -- I can dig that.

You have to split.

That's cool.

That's cool.

Uh -- well, I'll lay some words

on you later.Give me five.

Sir, is your malaria

acting up again?

Listen, I'll go to your quarters

and get your pills for you.

Being a pal isn't gonna be easy.

Excuse me.

I wonder if it's possible for me

to cash a traveler's check?

Oh yeah, sure.

I see you didn't leave home

without them.

-- Uh, Walter Perry.

Okay.

Fifty dollar bill okay?

It's fine.

There you go.

Thank you.

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Don't shake your Christmas

present.

I don't want you to spoil the

surprise.

Paul's voice: Surprise?

I'll bet it's gonna be another

one of those blue ties.

What can it be this year,

darling?

Oh no, I'm not telling.

Audrey's voice: I was gonna get

you a monogrammed shirt, but I

forgot your name.

Don't peek at your present

while I'm in there, okay?

Oh no.

Audrey's voice: Another bottle

of that cheap perfume --

oriental wind.

The only perfume that comes with

a bowl a rice.

Well -- here it comes.

(Sound of Paul gargling)

And now.

(More gargling)

A little louder, they'd abandon ship.

It's all yours, darling.

Thanks, sweetheart.

Paul's voice: But please, just

this once, don't sing.

Audrey's voice: Mi, mi, mi, mi,

mi, mi!

Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi!

Paul's voice: If we weren't at sea,

a moose would answer.

Don't look.

You know what she's gonna look

like.

-- I told ya not to look.

I can't take anymore of this.

But she's got to be the one to

ask for the divorce.

Why should I be the heavy?

Audrey's voice: I've got to do

something so terrible he'll beg

me for a divorce.

But what?

I mean -- he even likes my

singing.

Goodnight, sweetheart.

Goodnight, darling.

Oh, captain!

Well, you see, I just had a few

minutes and I thought I'd do a

little needlepoint, but -- well,

I can see my two minutes are up

and I'd better go!

It's very pretty.

Well -- thank you.

You know, a lot of men

do needlepoint.

Even football players.

Do you think that maybe you could,

teach me how to do it?

Ah -- sure, sir.

Some other time.

Well, what about now?

Okay.

Uh -- well, you see, you take

the needle and you put it in

this hole and then bring it down

-- through here -- and down like

that.

I see.

And that's a stitch.

Well, thank you.

-- Like this?

Perfect.

Well look, why don't I

-- get a kit and -- maybe you

and I could work on it together.

Here, take mine.

You know, to tell you the truth,

needlepoint bores me stiff.

I got to go.

Merrill, you're supposed

to get involved with your crew.

Not stand around doing

needlepoint.

Oh, I already have a drink.

Well, you can't have too many.

That looks delicious.

Can I have some more of it?

As many as you like.

As long as you promise not to

drive back to your cabin.

We'll take a cab.

Thanks.

Here you go, sir --

guaranteed to bring on a smile.

Thanks.

Keep the change.

See?

I told you it was guaranteed.

Sure you won't have one?

Hello, Walt.

Dan!

I -- I...

At a loss for words,

counselor?

I never thought I'd see the day.

Well, no.

It's just that I,

i thought that you were still in...

In prison.

No, you see, I was paroled last

week.

You know, good behavior and that

sort a thing.

Walt!

Lila!

We were just talking about

you last night!

Really?

-- Well, I just can't get over

this.

It's great.

It's just great.

Yes, it's great.

Well, we're gonna have a

lot to talk about, huh?

Unfortunately, I made an

appointment with the barber --

and you know how they are if you

keep them waiting,

no sideburns.

But look -- promise me that

we'll get together later, okay?

Promise?

Huh?

-- Gee, this is really a

surprise.

Fantastic!

He acted a little strange,

didn't he?

Well, dear, he's a strange guy.

It's not everybody that would

let his supposed best friend go

to jail for a crime he commited.

Walt?!

Yes, Walt.

Oh no.

Lila, I had three years to

think about it.

I went over every detail of that

trial, night after night.

I memorized the transcript.

It always ended up to just one name,

good, old Walt Perry.

Dan, you can't be sure.

I wasn't.

Until now.

I had to see him face to face.

I had to see it in his eyes.

Now I know.

And he knows I know.

How much is this one?

Forty-eight dollars.

Oh, way too expensive.

Thanks anyway.

Now, you're the kinda woman

I shoulda married.

I beg your pardon?

Well, my last wife never

asked the price of anything.

Is that why you divorced her?

It was either the divorce courts

or the bankruptcy courts.

Oh, so she spent you

into divorce.

Let me put it this way.

If she didn't show up at

Tiffany's once a week, they'd

send her a get well card.

Oh -- well, thanks for the tip.

I mean, the warning.

-- Miss, do you sell jewelry?

What kind?

Expensive!

I just can't get over it,

Claire, you look fantastic.

Well, I should.

I just lost a hundred and sixty

pounds.

I divorced George.

You divorced George?

Why?

The things he did.

I don't wanna talk about it.

Oh, you can tell me.

No, I can't.

Paul's voice: For Pete's sake,

tell her.

All right, I'll tell you.

Thanks.

Every time we went out

he would embarrass me.

He'd have a couple of drinks and

he thought he was the life of

the party.

It was like being married to the

gong show.

Did George drink too much?

Judge for yourself.

At my uncle's funeral, he wore a

black lampshade.

Honey, don't ever marry a man

who drinks.

Say pal, could you tell me

the way to the nearest bar?

Thanks.

Oh no, doc, up a little higher.

A little higher, yeah.

Now to the right.

Up here?

No, more to the right.

Down two needles.

To the left.

No, no, more to the left, doc.

I don't know.

Something's off-center.

You're off-center.

I know what it is.

We forgot to hang an angel on

the tree.

How about a purser?

Man does not appreciate art.

Father, you know a lot of jokes.

Well, I don't think Vegas is

ready for me, merrill.

No, no, no.

You know, my crew is always

telling jokes and I thought that

if there was a joke that I could

come up with...

Oh, I get it.

Well, let's see.

Oh, well, the bishop told me a

couple a great ones.

But I don't think your

crew speaks Latin.

How about this?

This martian comes down from

space and he lands right in the

middle of the desert, next to

this beat up old saloon.

Well, he goes in and the first

thing he sees is the pinball

machine.

Well, the lights are flashing

and the bells are ringing like

crazy.

So,the martian goes over to

it and he says, 'hey,sweeheart,

what's a pretty girl like you

doing in a place like this?'

Funny.

Well, it is even funnier

in Latin.

All right, I'll try it.

Okay, guys.

Time to get down to some serious

business here.

Who's gonna be Santa claus

tonight?

Oh, well, I don't think

there's anything to decide.

It is my turn.

You?

A woman can't be Santa claus.

Well, why not?

I thought this was supposed to

be an equal opportunity holiday.

Okay.

Lay a 'ho-ho-ho' on us.

Ok.

'Ho-ho-ho'.

No, the world's not ready

for a soprano Santa claus.

Well,it's coming

along very well, guys.

Which reminds me of this great

joke.

It's Christmas time one year and

this martian lands in the

desert, and he goes up to this

old bar.

It's really beat up, you know?

And the first thing he sees is a

pinball machine and he goes over

and well, the lights were

flashing, the bells were going

and everything and well he says to it,

he says,now get this.

He says, 'hiya, sweetheart,

what's a pinball machine doing

in a nice place like this?

It was even funnier in Latin.

Okay, let's get back to

reality.

Who's gonna play Santa claus?

Me.

I'm the perfect Santa.

I own the Santa suit.

So -- I'm Santa.

Good luck, sir.

Well -- how am I doing?

Merrill, there are ways

of joining in,

and ways of joining in.

That bad, huh?

Worse.

Hey well, merry Christmas, crew.

Merry Christmas.

Uhh,isaac,what's in this?

Fruit juice and rum. Made from an old secret recipe.

What's the secret?

I'll have a re-fill.

Oh sure golpher.

Fruit juice.

Back to the drawing board.

Dan?

Uh?

Honey is Christmas Eve.

Just for tonight, let's forget about Walter Perry,

and the world and everything.

Let's make this the best Christmas Eve ever.

All right.

This sure beats an electric train.

Hey, do you want to exchange gifts now?

We do, we'll never make that party.

Oh, come on.

Ok, let's go.

Uh, I get you a handkerchief for your..

Oh, I'll get it.

This all right.

Dan!

Oh my god.

No.

Dan,

you knew Walter Perry was going to be on board, didn't you?

You came here for revenge.

Look Lily,

this is my business.

Your business?

Whay about me?

You weren't the only one in jail for three years.

I was in a prison of my own.

What do you think was like without you?

Dan,

if you love me, don't do this.

You know I love you.

You kill him, you kill us.

Please,dan.

Issac,

removed the dead soldier and open me a new

recruit.

Sure.

Mr.baynes.

I thought you said you

were a teetotaler.

Me?

I musta been drunk when I said it.

Isaac, what color lampshade goes

with this outfit I'm wearing?

I don't know.

What color are your socks?

Audrey, is -- is that you?

Never mind me.

Since when did you start

drinking?

I can't remember.

I'm drinking to forget.

How much have you had?

Plenty!

Say what's all this gonna cost?

Plenty!

Boy, I hope I'm seeing double.

You're going to be seeing triple

when we get to the room,

because I have a whole lotta

new stuff down there.

You expect me to pay for this?

You got it, ace.

Uh -- dear, isn't there

something you forgot to ask me

for?

It starts with a 'd'.

Yeah, you wanna dance.

Yeah, you wanna dance.

Something you wanna ask me?

Yes.

Get off my foot!

More punch?

Yeah.

But this time -- tell him to put

a little fruit juice in it.

Okay.

You're complaining to me

about a bad bridge partner?

You're lucky.

You know, I once had a law partner.

He stole every penny the firm had.

Of course, he went to prison.

Well, at least, he had to

pay for it.

Yeah, he paid.

So, where's Santa?

He's supposed to be here by now.

Well, maybe his reindeers

are having a little trouble with

their radar equipment.

Yeah, that blitzen is a

lousy navigator.

Ho!

Ho!

Ho!

No.

No.

No.

Ho!

Ho!

Ho!

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Ho!

Ho!

Ho!...

I've never seen the captain

look better.

Who writes his dialogue?

Well now, let's see

what Santa has in his bag

tonight.

Let's see...

Well, yes.

There's something for Mario.

Something for Artie, yes.

Let's see.

And...and Ben.

Let's see what we have here.

Oh, yes.

For Mitch.

And for peanut.

What's your real name peanut?

Shorty.

Right!

I'll bet it's a baseball mitt.

What about me?

Oh.

Uh -- you're...?

Tony.

Tony, that's right.

Yes.

Well now -- let's see.

Tony...

Oh -- oh,

Tony it seems that Santa is

short one present.

It's back at the north pole.

That's where your present is.

Now look, I'll run back.

I'll get it.

And -- I'll have it in your

cabin first thing in the

morning.

Tony...

Oh, no.

Poor captain stubing.

San Quentin never had a view like that one.

Dan, my boy!

Well, I've been lookin' all over

for you.

Really?

Out in the ocean?

Hey, you always were a

great kidder.

I'm not kidding now, Walt.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, don't do anything foolish.

I've already done something

foolish.

I served three years in prison

for something you did, buddy.

Dan, you-you've gotta believe me.

I didn't want it to happen.

It wasn't my fault.

I took the money, I admit it.

I was in trouble in the market.

It was serious trouble.

And I really needed that money

desperately.

You set me up.

No, I swear I didn't.

Oh look, Dan, I never thought

that you'd be convicted.

I always thought I could win you

an acquittal, and that way no

one would be hurt.

Somebody was hurt, Walt.

Dan,please...

Please?

Merry Christmas.

Dan?

Goodnight, everybody.

Merry Christmas.

Bye.

Father, did you find Tony yet?

Not yet.

Oh.

Well, we'll help you look for him.

Okay?

Thanks.

Yeah.

Tony?

Where are you?

Tony?

Go away!

You blew it!

Yes.

Yes, I did.

I apologize.

Come here.

This is for you.

Honest?

Uh-huh.

Gee, thanks!

It's the football I asked

for, isn't it?

No.

No, I'm sorry, it's not.

Uh,

it's a sextant.

It's an instrument they use to

navigate the ship.

It belonged to the captain and

his father before him.

See?

You put in there.

By holding it up to the stars,

they could always tell where

they were going.

The captain used it in the

second world war.

I know it's kinda beat up but,

this sextant means a lot to him.

He wants you to have it.

I'm sorry it's not what you

asked for.

Sometimes we don't get what we

want for Christmas.

No.

I used to ask for parents, but I

never got 'em.

Well, that's,2

a big order, for Santa to fill.

It don't matter.

I don't need a family.

I got a real big one with father

Mike and the guys.

Yeah.

It's neat.

Wait'll I show the guys!

Thanks, captain.

I mean, Santa.

We're home.

You can take off your lampshade

now.

Is that all you bought?

Why didn't you fill the whole

room?

I couldn't.

Your credit card broke.

That means I'll have to

pay cash for my lampshades.

This is just the start.

Because I'm gonna buy all new

furniture for the living room.

Then I'll buy matching

whoopie cushions.

And a brand new rolls Royce.

Okay, then every morning

I'll go down to the office in a

clown suit.

You know something?

No, what?

You're funny.

You know something?

You're very beautiful.

Aw, put on your lampshade

and give me a kiss.

All: Merry Christmas, captain.

What?

What is this?

Well, frankly, captain, we

were feeling kind of sorry for

ourselves.

Oh, you know, sir.

I mean, it's fun to spend

Christmas with the passengers,

but -- it's not the same as

spending it with your family.

And then we got to thinking,

well we don't just

have one family, we've got two.

And -- well, you're not

just the captain to us, sir.

You're the head of the family.

Our family.

And why shouldn't our

family spend Christmas together?

You see,

sometimes we try too hard to,

get what,we've had all along.

I,i think that i'm

allergic to this beard.

I want to say something to all

of you.

I'm proud to have you on my

crew.

I'm even prouder,

to count you among my friends.

Oh, this darn beard.

Sir,this is for you.

It's from all of us.

I -- I thought we had a

rule that we'd never exchange

Christmas presents.

Oh, sir, we thought just

this once.

A rule is a rule, Mr. Smith.

But sometimes rules were made

to be broken.

Merry Christmas!

Why, thank you, sir.

Merry Christmas.

Thank you, sir.

Come on, everybody.

(Passengers sing 'Noel.')

Very beautiful, mrs.Baynes.

Thank you very much.

Oh boy, I can taste that

Turkey already.

Didn't you tell him?

Oh, the captain said there might

be some rain and he wondered if

you'd mind going topside and

changing the regular flags for

the rubber flags.

Rubber flags?

Good evening.

There's the captain's table,

over there.

Dan!

Get lost, Perry.

I've gotta talk to you.

Honey...

It's all right, sweetheart.

Now look, you've done everything

you can do.

And just stay away from me.

Keep outta my life.

Dan listen, you gave me a

gift last night,my life.

Now, I wanna give you something

in return.

I,I've contacted the

police in Los Angeles.

When we get back I'm gonna turn

myself in,

make a full confession.

And -- I also wrote to the state

bar commission.

You'll be practicing law again

very soon.

Walt, thank you.

Merry Christmas, Dan.

Merry Christmas.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Merry Christmas.

Good evening.

Hi.

Beautiful dress.

Thank you.

It's a beautiful table.

It's a beautiful life.

Father lewicki, some of the

guys collected some stuff you

might like at the orphanage.

Sports equipment, books, stuff

like that...

All right!

Wow!

We'd love it...

Thanks.

Well, where do we send it, father.

Give it to the captain.

He can bring it when he comes

next time.

Captain stubing?

Yes.

He comes every month.

No, he-he must have me confused

with some other captain.

You're crazy.

He took us to the ballgame last

month.

Captain, you wouldn't

have anything to do with that

mysterious man who's been

sending these kids on a cruise

every year, would you?

You know, the one with 'more

dollars than sense'?

Bah!

Humbug!

Come on, let's eat ourselves a

Turkey.

Hey, thank you for a

wonderful trip.

Oh.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'll say one thing for you,

mr.barton

you sure seem a lot happier than

when you came aboard.

You bet I am.

You know what today is?

Yes, sir.

Monday.

Nope.

Today is the first day,

of the rest of my life.

'Bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Oh, darling, I'm so happy.

Me, too.

I've got a confession to make.

When I came on this cruise I --

I was hoping you'd ask me for a

divorce.

Really?

Well, I has hoping the same

thing.

You're kidding?

This cruise really changed us.

Yes.

We're two completely different

people now.

(Singing scales)

Thanks for everything,

captain.

We had a good time.

Here.

From us kids.

Thanks for uh -- the trip.

Champagne?

Now, how did you kids get your

hands on this bottle of

champagne?

Where there's a will,

there's a way.

Let's go, you guys.

I guess that's will on the

bottom and way on top.

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