Original subtitles

Love,

exciting and new.

Come aboard,

we're expecting you.

Love,

life's sweetest reward.

Let it flow,

it floats back to you.

Love boat

soon will be making another run.

The love boat

promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,

your mind on a new romance.

And love,

won't hurt anymore,

it's an open smile,

on a friendly shore.

Yes, love

welcome aboard,

it's love.

What's all this stuff?

Well, maybe Sammy Davis is coming

on board, and he sent his jewelry on ahead.

All that stuff belongs to

the new chef.

Well, what happened to the regular chef?

He's in the hospital.

You think it was something he ate?

No, he's got appendicitis.

Oh.

Gee, I hope everything comes out

all right.

Borga!

Borga.

Borga...borga.

Chef borga!

Oh, chef borga; Well,

welcome aboard!

I'm your cruise director, miss

McCoy.

Miss McCoy.

No wonder you're not married.

I beg your pardon?

Too skinny.

Men want women with something to

hold onto.

But, don't worry,

a little fettuccini,

a little ravioli,

a little poke at the Linguini.

We'll have ten pounds on you

by Mazatlan.

Fifteen by puerto vallarta.

By acapulco you could be the anchor.

Well, I'm sure, chef,

that you'll just have a very

pleasant cruise here.

We have a beautiful ship, and a

very cooperative crew.

And a jackass for a captain.

What did you say?

He said we have a jackass...

I heard what he said.

Don't tell me I'm stuck with you

for an entire cruise!

You're stuck?!

Hah!

This peasant put ketchup on my

bouillabaisse!

It didn't help.

You have the taste buds of a goat.

Before we sail, run out

and get me a TV dinner...

Make that plural, TV dinners!

(Yells something in Italian).

What did he say?

Well, I only speak a little Italian,

but I think he said; 'Have a nice day.'

Hi, welcome aboard...

Hello.

Well, look who's here!

If it isn't mr.Travel himself.

Hello, Jeff, how are you?

Hiya, gorgeous.

Oh, thank you.

What's this?

Another free travelling junket?

Just in the line of duty,julie.

Boy, I envy you guys.

Free cruises all the time...

I envy me, too.

It's just a job, gopher.

I'm putting together another

holiday package for one of the

airlines.

Believe me, the thrill wore off

a long time ago.

Well, see you guys.

Bye...

Gee, what's with him?

He used to be such a live wire.

I don't know.

I heard he broke up with his wife.

Hmmmm.

What do you mean, hmmmm?

Just hmmmm.

Well, was it a 'gee,

that's too bad' hmmmm,

or a 'maybe there's hope for me'

hmmmm, hmmm?

Gopher, get lost.

Get lost?

Hmmmm.

Hmmmm.

I wouldn't miss your column,

neither would my sister.

That's right.

First thing we turn to in the

morning newspaper, is 'dear Beverly,'

even before the obituaries.

Oh, that's very nice,

thank you.

And, your afternoon TV show

is wonderful.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

You know, you're even more

beautiful in person.

That's very kind of you.

Nice to meet you, very nice to

meet you.

Oh, I'm sorry, ladies,

but I really must get mrs.Blanchard

checked into her cabin.

But we have a terrible family problem.

We have an uncle who refuses to

bathe.

Oh.

Is he with you?

No.

Good.

Ladies, mrs.Blanchard will be

glad to answer all your questions

in her lecture on Sunday.

There's a new one, ring

around the family.

Purser...

Sir, I'm sorry, Mrs. Blanchard

has been waiting for

her cabin number.

I'm mr.Blanchard.

Oh.

Oh, gosh, I didn't know there

was a mr.Blanchard.

You're not alone.

Come on, darling...

Oh, well, let, now,

let's see...Okay, cabin

three-forty-two, promenade deck.

Oh, thank you very much.

Thank you. You bet.

Listen, if you need any advice,

i mean, if you have any problems,

have a wonderful cruise.

Can I help you?

I'm Adam bricker, the ship's

doctor.

Oh, thanks, but I'm fine,

we're both fine.

All we need is a place to lay

our heads.

Well, I, I wasn't speaking medically.

But, if you'll give me your name,

I'll give you your cabin number.

Oh, Gail Smith.

Uh, Smith...Gail Smith,

that'll be p-two-oh-six, right

up those stairs.

I hope you and mr.Smith

have a pleasant trip.

Thanks, but there is no

Mr. Smith.

Well, if you get right down to it

there are probably thousands

of mr.Smiths

but there isn't one

traveling with me.

Then I think all those mr.Smiths

are making a big mistake.

Not in the case of my mr.Smith

I'm afraid it was me who made

the mistake.

Darling, it's going to be fun.

We'll have a lovely vacation.

Yeah, sure.

Oh, now, come on.

Don't be so grouchy.

Look at this lovely suite, and

this beautiful ship.

Come on, let's enjoy it.

I'd enjoy it a lot more if

I was paying for it.

I don't enjoy...Freeloading on

my wife's name.

Now, isn't this silly?

Now, why shouldn't we take this

free cruise?

All I have to do is give a

little lecture.

Because I can afford to pay

for a vacation, take you

someplace where we can be alone,

without all these people around,

and you wouldn't have to do

work, either.

Oh, darling, it isn't work

i love it.

And, I love you.

Well, if you love your

work that much...

'Dear Beverly, I have a big

problem I think you can solve.

I would like to make mad...Mad,

passionate love to my wife.

Signed: Panting on the

Princess.'

oh, 'dear panting: I'd love to give

your problem my personal attention

but it's very difficult

to make love

while you are typing.'

what typing?

Oh, darling, I'm sorry.

I'd love you to make passionate

love to me, but I still have to

finish that column.

Oh, boy.

Oh.

Oh, that's great.

Darling, it won't take long.

I promise.

And, don't make it more

difficult for me by looking so sexy.

Oh, ho, ho.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you go up on deck, and

I'll be there in a moment.

Oh, please, darling, don't make

me feel guilty.

Well, it's either a shower

or walk.

I'll walk.

Oh, dear...

"Dear Beverly: My son is a two

hundred fifty pound fullback on

his college football team, but

the other day when I came home,

I found him wearing one of my

dresses.

What shall I do?"

"Go on a diet".

Oh, thank you, Lance...

May I have the ketchup, please.

I'm certainly glad you

finished that column.

Oh, So am I, darling.

I'm all yours now...

Oh, excuse me, are you waiting

to be seated?

Yes, they had us at a table for two,

but we wanted a larger table,

so we could meet more people.

Aren't you dear Beverly?

Oh, I, I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.

It happens all the time.

Yes, I'm Beverly Blanchard, and

this is my husband, Russ.

And, you know, I really

understand your problem.

It's very important to meet new

people, and sometimes it's

terribly difficult.

Well, if dear Beverly can't help us,

nobody can.

Darling, I know this was going

to be our evening,but,

they are such nice people.

Do you mind?

Sure.

Then it's all settled.

We are your first new people.

Good.

Now, that's a nice couple.

So, when are you getting

your divorce?

Bum!

You think they're trying

to tell us something?

P.A.:"The late sitting of dinner

is now being served in the coral

dining room.

Bon appetito.

You ready for dinner?

Well, rather hang out in

the moonlight with you.

Jeff, we've known each

other a long time.

How come all of a sudden...?

Well, I guess I've been

too busy messing up my life.

First I loused up my marriage,

and, then I was living with

someone for a while, that didn't work.

Maybe this time I'll get lucky.

What is it, Jeff?

Why do I feel like your heart

isn't in this?

What are you talking about?

You're, you're a fantastic girl,

I've always thought you were

beautiful, and sensitive.

I think you're great.

This isn't gonna work, is it?

Nope.

Is it your wife?

Yep.

Still hung up on Gail.

Evening, doc.

Hello.

Hi.

Gail, I'd like you to meet

gopher Smith, our assistant

purser.

Hi.

Hey, how about that.

You both have the same name.

Gee, I've been called many things,

but never Gail.

I've been called many things

but never gopher.

All right, you both have

the same sense of humor,

terrible.

Hey, look out, doc, lot

more smiths in the world than

brickers, you know.

And, our numbers are increasing.

Congratulations...

May I join you?

Please do.

Of course.

Thank you.

So...what are you gonna call the

baby?

Oh, I don't know.

I like the old-fashioned names,

like Johnny.

As in Walker.

Or Jack.

As in Daniels.

How about Jim?

As in beam!

Nobody'd ever guess he's a bartender.

Gail Smith, Isaac Washington.

How do you do?

Hi.

Listen, how about the name,

cleofus?

Now, that's a nice name.

Um hm.

Henry?

I got it.

How about Jeff?

Jeff Smith?

I like it.

Would you excuse me.

Gail?

Wait a minute...

Gee, wish I'd said Harvey.

As in walbanger.

Can I help?

Oh, doc...

Hey, hey, it's okay.

I'm sorry.

Being around me is like not

having to take a shower.

It's okay.

I'll save on soap.

What happened in there?

Well...jeff Smith is my

husband's name.

Except, in two weeks from now,

he'll be my ex-husband.

Now, I thought that would make

me very happy, but, a funny

thing happened on the way to the

divorce...

Found out I'm still in love with

him.

How does a man divorce the lady

who's carrying his child?

He doesn't know about it.

You see, he walked out on me

before I found out, and i'm, i'm

not gonna use the baby to try

and get him back.

But, surely, he has the right to know.

Well, I tried to reach him.

I was gonna sort of sound him out,

and see if we,

but a woman answered.

He's living with somebody else.

Here.

Try this one.

It's dry.

Oh, doc.

Darling, I'm sorry I neglected you

but I thought I'd sneak

in a couple of hours on my book.

Your book?

Uh huh.

First the column, now a book?

What am I doing here?

You could have brought my picture?

Oh, Russ, don't spoil things.

Do you have any idea how long

it's been since we've been away

on a holiday?

Yeah, I was seven, you were four.

Oh, I didn't know it was that recent.

Oh, darling, I do love to be

away with you.

Well, I like hanging out with you, too.

Listen, why don't we start the

cocktail hour early today.

Are you trying to take

advantage of a poor, defenseless

woman?

Exactly.

Good.

I'll be a minute.

Then she said yes, and I

oh, sure.

Two rum Collins, please.

You got it, sir.

Excuse me.

Is that your wife over there?

The dear Beverly?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, man, she is really

something else.

She always has the right answer.

That's right.

And she just gave me the right answer.

That's way I'm taking a drink to her.

Hey, how about that,man?

Guy left you a three dollar tip

and forgot to pay for the drinks.

When a mother-in-law comes to visit,

how long should she stay?

Well, it depends whether you're

home or not.

Your drink,

darling?

In a moment, love.

But, why do we always pick on

mother-in-laws?

Why don't we pick on father-in-laws,

or for that matter,

why don't we pick on ourselves?

After all, none of us are perfect.

Well, almost none of us.

You have a very popular wife.

Oh...

Hey, how would you like the

specialty of the house?

Supervised and given the careful

attention of Russ Blanchard himself.

Well, you just made me an offer,

I can't refuse.

Good.

Now, that's a nice couple.

That's dear Beverly's husband.

What are you doing?

You like ketchup?

Swim for it.

Get back to the kitchen,

and take this ketchup with you.

I'd rather die.

Don't tempt me.

I don't understand.

I've never had problems like

this with any other chef.

I'm not any other chef.

I am numero uno...

It's not easy creating

masterpieces for six hundred

people.

How would you know?

Look who's talking.

Christopher Columbus!

He aims his ship to Mexico, and

then he goes dancing for a week.

Commanding a ship is a tad more

complicated than scrambling eggs.

Scrambling eggs, hah?

You happen to be talking to a

man who performs miracles with

eggs!

Mostly, you lay them.

(Yells in Italian).

Italian semaphore.

Alvin,

take this below deck, please.

Two bars and a lemon.

It's the story of my life.

I was born to lose.

Jeff, why are you putting

yourself through all this?

If you love your wife so much,

why don't you try to get back

together with her?

I blew it, Julie.

I burned my Bridges.

I walked out the door, and I

moved in with somebody else.

I know Gail.

She'll never forgive me for that.

Well, how are you gonna know

that for sure if you don't

get in touch with her?

I'm not.

Aren't you gonna try?

Nope.

Well, you're sure trying

with that machine.

Yeah.

And it keeps coming up lemons,too.

Do you have a quarter?

I want to play the machine.

Oh, sure.

There you go.

Split the winnings?

Of course.

I won!

Look at that!

It's incredible!

Gail, I thought we were gonna

split the winnings.

Oh, yeah.

Here's your quarter.

Well, you really get

unbelievable letters.

Oh, they usually are from normal,

everyday people,

you know, with real problems.

There are some exceptions.

Like, this woman wrote that her

husband's secretary only wears a

bra and little panties to the

office, like that he saves money

on the air conditioning.

And what did you advise her?

Well, I told her to tell her

husband to cool it in the office.

Sorry to be late.

Tell me more.

Well, as the man said,

I got millions of them.

We meet again.

This forty year old spinster

read a book, titled

'sex after seventy', and she

wanted to know if she has to

wait until then!

Oh, that's marvelous!

Marvelous!

Well, what would you like to

have for dinner?

Well, let me see.

I think I'll have a steak, very

rare, please.

Oh, and a salad.

Oh, dear, my favorite is

chocolate soufflé, but it isn't

on the menu.

Chocolate soufflé?

Your wish is my command...

Gopher...

Come here, please.

Would you please tell the chef,

the captain requests a chocolate

soufflé for dessert.

Yes, sir.

Oh, captain.

I am most impressed.

It was nothing.

Oh, but it is.

You're a born leader.

Well...

Oh, come on, captain,

admit it.

You are the kind of a man who

gets what he wants.

Someone has to be boss.

Chef borga says no way.

There, there has been some

misunderstanding.

No, I don't think so,sir.

He used a lot of colorful

Italian adjectives and gestures.

Are you familiar with...

Please excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Out!

Out!

Out of my kitchen.

Your kitchen is part of my ship,

and I am requesting a

chocolate soufflé for dessert.

Borga: You want requests, go

talk to the bandleader.

I don't have to take this from

a short order cook.

Short order cook?

Borga?

I demand an apology!

Never!

If I don't have an apology

in writing in my hand by tomorrow,

this is the last dinner

I cook on this ship.

You call this dinner?

Out!

Or I make mince meat out of you.

Where would you steal the recipe?

If I told you once, I told you

a thousand times,

one tomato on each plate!

What's the matter with you!

My apologies, but the chef

ran out of chocolate.

Oh, well, that's perfectly all right

i really don't need the extra calories,

and Russ doesn't like.

Russ?

He left.

He did?

You even said goodbye to him.

Don't you remember?

No.

You know, when I start talking

about my work, I'm in another

planet.

Like the other night in new York,

I was signing autographs

after my TV show, and my mother

came backstage, and I wrote,

happiness always to, then I asked her

how do you spell your name?

(Sings) Ain't

misbehavin' all by myself...

Your cheatin' heart will tell on

you...

Now, how about a lectern,

you know, for your notes?

Oh, I never use notes.

It's a crutch.

Right.

Well, listen, mrs.Blanchard,

you just leave

everything to me.

I'll have it all set up for you

by this afternoon.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much.

You bet.

That was dear Beverly you

were talking to.

Yeah.

I really like her.

Stick around.

She may be available soon.

Oh, what's that supposed

to mean?

Last night, when I was on deck,

I saw her husband, giving

kissing lessons to one of our

lady passengers.

You're kidding.

Um ummm.

And he's a good teacher!

What a rotten creep.

Now, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, gopher, it's her

own fault.

I mean, she's been so busy with

everybody else, she's been

leaving him out in the cold.

Oh, gee, that's a shame.

Maybe I ought to tell her.

Butt out!

I mean, it's none of your

business.

Yeah, but if I don't tell her,

her marriage may go on the rocks.

But, if I do tell her, her

marriage may go on the rocks.

Maybe I should tell him.

He already knows.

Isaac, I don't know what to do.

Sounds like a problem for

dear Beverly.

Sounds more like dear Beverly's

problem.

Want to sit for a minute?

Oh yeah.

Ah.

Beautiful day...

Well, I thought it was a

beautiful day.

What's wrong?

My mind's playing tricks on me.

For a moment, I thought I smelled

Jeff's pipe tobacco, and

then the baby kicked.

Oh, doc, I'm having a terrible

time.

You see, I want the baby to know

his father, and he would have if

I hadn't been such a damn fool

and pushed Jeff up into the arms

of another woman.

Gail, I don't have any more

dry shoulders.

You're not solving anything by

telling all this to me.

Tell it to him.

You've got a whole jackpot's

worth of quarters.

Now, why don't you put some of

'em into a phone.

Maybe I'll hit the jackpot again.

Thanks, doc.

Doc?

So, remember, live by the good

old golden rule, and with

the price of gold now a days,

I mean, it's getting more

valuable every day...

Thank you.

Thank you very much...

Oh, excuse me.

May I get something to drink.

I...my tummy's not feeling very well,

it's something I ate,

i guess.

Certainly.

Thank you.

Any questions?

Yes?

I'm planning to get married when

I graduate next year.

What are some of the most

popular honeymoon places?

Well, with me, it was blowing in my ear.

But, why don't you ask your

travel agent, I'm sure she has

better suggestions...

Thank you...

Any other questions?...

Yes?

Oh, no.

Never mind.

Yes, gopher?

Well, this isn't about me.

That's what they all say.

Go on.

Well, uh, this, um,

friend of mine.

She's very witty and charming

and...gorgeous,

but she's so wrapped up in her job,

that she never pays any attention to her husband,

and now he's beginning to,

wander, and...I,

I don't want to hurt my friend,

but how do I tell her?

Oh, well, don't bother.

If she's so insensitive that she

can't give the time of day to

her husband, then he's right to

give the time of night to

someone else...

Ladies and gentlemen,

i think my time is just about up.

Thank you very much.

Captain, please write the apology.

I'm telling you, he means it.

He's gonna go out on strike and

take the whole kitchen staff

with him.

It's absurd!

He's bluffing.

What if he's not?

Miss McCoy, I have commanded

everything from

destroyer to cruise ship.

I have weathered typhoon, enemy

fire.

Believe me, this isn't something

I can't handle.

Hey, Julie, you done with

that salad yet?

Hey, stop worrying about me

and concentrate on that,

inferno you're cooking.

What is that?

What do I know?

I'm only cooking it,

I'm not gonna eat it.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait,

wait, wait, keep your potato

peelings out of my soup, man.

Soup?

I thought this was the garbage.

Listen, doc, can you help me

stir the...

Okay.

Just a second...

Okay, boy this soup is really

gonna stick to your ribs.

How are you gonna get it

out of the pot?

Let me taste that,

excuse me, mr.Washington,

thank you...

Needs ketchup.

Hurry up with those potatoes,

mr.smith.

Sir, I've already peeled

half of Idaho, how many more do

you want?

Just peel the other half of Idaho,

that'll take care of it.

Captain, if anybody needs

anything well done, I've got it.

You can't serve that.

That's burnt to a crisp!

Captain, pork has to be

cooked very, very thoroughly.

That's pork?

It's filet of sole.

Oh, captain, this whole

thing is stupid...

Not that I mind, but, it's not

fair to the passengers.

Please apologize.

Never!

Thank you, miss McCoy,

thank you...

Oh, so...You came to apologize.

Needs ketchup.

Sir, what about your dinner rolls?

Don't worry.

I'll fry them when I get back.

I'm sorry.

But all you people don't have to

do this if it wasn't for your

stubborn captain.

All I ask for is an apology,

in writing.

How are you at forgery?

Hey, a piece of cake.

Cake!

What are we gonna do about

dessert?!

Here you are, chef borga,

just what you asked for.

Ah, I knew he would apologize.

Stubborn man that captain, but,

at least he knows when he's been

defeated.

Then you will return to the kitchen?

Of course.

Oh...

A maestro's place is with the orchestra,

not in the audience.

My sincere apologies,

Antonio borga.' Didn't I tell ya

he'd break first?

I knew he'd crumble once he

realized we could do his job as

well as he could.

Oh, I'm sorry darling, I didn't

know you were working.

I'll be back later.

Oh, Russ, Russ, come in darling.

This is a special column I want

you to hear.

Uh, sure.

"Dear readers: Instead of you

writing to me today, I am writing

this letter to you.

You won't be hearing from me for

the next two weeks, because I'll

be going on a vacation with my

husband.

I don't know where he's going to

take me, but I'm sure he'll pick

a spot where the two of us can

be blissfully and marvelously

alone.

You kept me very busy for a long time,

but if I am too busy to spend

some time with my husband,i,

I might lose him, and nothing

in the world would be worth

that.

Not fame, not fortune, not

anything.

Yours always, mrs.Russell Blanchard."

Am I too late?

I have a life subscription.

I love you, bev.

That Peggy, she...

Don't confess.

Never confess.

It, it just doesn't solve anything.

What is that advice?

Oh, I'm not going to give any

advice for the next two weeks.

Why don't you write to dear Abby.

Well, I'm glad to see everything

is back to normal,

chef borga.

That makes two of us,

captain stubing.

You know, captain, maybe

we should leave.

I'm sure that chef borga has a

lot of work to do, and...

In a minute, in a minute.

Antonio, I know that I am not

the easiest man in the world to

deal with.

That's true.

And I know I pushed you

to your limit.

But, I want you to know that I

think it was very big of you to

apologize.

What?

What did he say?

I didn't apologize to you.

You're the one who backed down.

Me?

I never wrote that.

I never wrote this.

Then who did?

Beats me.

Maybe we'd better go find out.

Yeah.

Captain, you never know, there

might be a forger on board.

So, you never did apologize, eh?

Why should I?

I wasn't at fault.

Then what are you doing

in my kitchen?!

This is my kitchen.

You work for me.

When will you ever get that

through your head?!...

All right...

All right..

I apologize.

Because of my line, because of

my crew, because of my

passengers.

Captain, you are a gentleman.

And because, I happen

to be the only captain afloat

with dishpan hands.

With dishpan hands.

Come on, Gail.

You can't give up just because

of one phone call.

It wasn't just one phone call.

It was a lot of phone calls.

Finally, I called his office,

and they said he'd gone on a trip.

He's probably with her.

Now, wait a minute.

Back up.

Look, your husband is a travel

agent, right?

Well, is he or isn't he?

Yes, he is.

All right, he goes on trips

all the time.

And, where is it written that

he's with anybody?

You're right.

You're right.

Why am I such a pessimist?

I'm getting to be a real pain in

the neck to you.

That's all right, I'm a physician.

I can heal myself.

Very, very confusing.

But, then the captain finally

did apologize.

For real.

I couldn't believe it.

Well, anyway, that's why I

haven't been around much all day.

Well, that's okay.

It gave me time to think.

You're absolutely right.

I'm gonna get in touch with Gail,

and tell her that I love her.

Oh!

Because I do love her, and

there's nothing I want more than

to be with her.

Oh, Jeff, I'm so happy for you!

So, I told him if he

really expected me to...

Oh, my god.

What is it?

Why, that's Jeff, and that

must be her!

That's Julie McCoy, our

cruise director.

Oh.

Ohhhh!

Oh, doc...

What?

I think the baby's coming!

Okay, put your arm around

my neck.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Jeff, what's wrong?

Gail!

My god, why didn't you tell me?

Would you excuse us,

please.

I'm her husband.

In just a little while ago

you're gonna be more than a husband,

you're gonna be a father.

I'm scared.

Okay, hold on tight.

I'm gonna pick you up, and carry

you to my office.

May I, doctor, please.

Okay.

Gently.

Honey, I love you.

I don't know what happened to us,

but it's not gonna happen again.

Doc, how can I help?

Forget it.

I saw you make a salad.

Honey...

Okay.

Bear down.

And I never stopped thinking

about you one minute

the whole time we were apart.

Breathe.

I am.

Not you.

Her.

I was too proud to say I was wrong.

But I'm not too proud now.

Bear down.

Jeff, I have so much to tell you,

but, it's gonna have to...

Wait.

Julie, Julie, listen, you sit,

I'll pace.

Thanks.

What is taking so long?!

Don't ask me, I've never

had any babies.

Well, don't ask me, I've never

had any babies either.

Has doc ever delivered a

baby before?

Listen, listen, I've never

made soup for six hundred

people before, but it turned out

great.

I'll be the judge of that.

We have nothing to worry about.

I'm sure doc is doing a

wonderful job.

Oh, I'm sure he is.

I mean, that's one of the things

that constantly amazes me about

doc.

That he's really a doctor.

He is, isn't he?

I mean, it's not a nickname

just...?

Well...

Has my new passenger boarded?

Not yet, sir.

Well, what's tak...

What's taking so long?

Has the doc delivered a baby

before?

He really is a doctor, isn't he?

Bear down.

Baby's in a good position.

What's taking so long?

Towel...

Okay, one more time now, and I

think we've got it...

Okay, bear down a little

harder...

Here we go, this is it...

Well, hello, mr.Smith!

Honey, it's a boy!!...

Oh, doc, tell me the truth.

Is this the first baby you ever

delivered?

The first?

Come on, I've been delivering

babies since medical school,

nineteen sixty-two...

This is the second.

He really is a doctor.

Well, hi.

Well, hello.

Don't tell me the whole

cruise went by, and I never met

you.

Well, you're meeting me now.

Better later than never.

Uh huh.

That's the man who was with

the pregnant lady.

And that's the lady you was

with dear Beverly's husband.

Sex fiend!

Well, gee, now I am sorry

I didn't meet you earlier.

Gopher...gopher,

thank you.

Thank you from the bottom of my

heart.

Looks like your advice

is gonna work out for my friend.

Oh, yes, they're going

to live happily ever after.

What's this all about?

Oh, well, I have these two hamsters,

and they just haven't been getting alone

as well as they should!

Thank you.

There you are, darling.

You see.

Bye.

Hey, you're a great chef,

and you can sail with me anytime.

Oh, (thank you in Italian).

Thank you, and you...

Are a fine captain.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I want to tell you that

chocolate soufflé last night was

the best I've ever tasted!

I thought you would like it.

It's the first time I ever made

it with ketchup.

What?

Just a little joke.

You see, chef borga has a sense

of humor, too.

Yes.

Arriverdeci...

Goodbye, merrill.

Chow, Antonio.

Isn't he beautiful?

Jeff, you're not coming home

because of the baby, are you?

Yes I am.

What?

I'm coming home for you,

for us,

especially for me.

I need you, Gail.

Bye, bye.

Bye, bye.

Well, look who's here!

Time to say good-bye.

How can I ever thank you, doc?

Yeah, thanks, doc.

I'll send you my bill in

the morning.

Julie, you're a good friend,

and a heck of a marriage counselor.

Well, I'll send you my

bill in the morning, too.

Okay, partner, say goodbye

to your uncle Isaac.

Bye, cleofus.

And your uncle gopher.

Your uncle Adam, and your aunt

Julie, and your uncle merrill.

Uncle merrill, sir.

We'd better get going.

We still gotta go through

customs.

And do you have something to declare.

Bye, bye.

Bye.

Bye.

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