Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:05,707
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:18,135 --> 00:00:20,135
(whistle blows on TV)
3
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,393
Uncle Bernie,
I figured it out. Hmm? What's that?
4
00:00:25,467 --> 00:00:27,817
I want to do the lost
city of Atlanta.
5
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:31,025
You mean Atlantis.
(chuckles)
6
00:00:31,973 --> 00:00:33,193
What's all this?
7
00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:35,186
You got mermaids,
buried treasures.
8
00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:37,358
What's all this scribblies?
Shrimp buffet.
9
00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:38,987
It's plans for my birthday.
10
00:00:39,064 --> 00:00:40,534
Your birthday
is not until next month.
11
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,621
I know. We have a lot
of work to do.
12
00:00:43,819 --> 00:00:45,869
You mean to tell me
you just gonna come up in here
13
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:48,366
and hand your uncle
a drawing, right?
14
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:51,758
And tell m...
Uh-uh, it ain't going on. Here.
15
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,133
But I want a party.
16
00:00:54,204 --> 00:00:56,174
You're going to have a party,
17
00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:58,422
a nice, quiet birthday party
with the family.
18
00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:01,930
But I told everybody
we're doing lost city of Atlantis.
19
00:01:02,003 --> 00:01:03,933
Well, I'll tell you
what you do.
20
00:01:04,005 --> 00:01:05,555
Now you go back
and you tell everybody
21
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:08,562
that you all can't find
the lost city of Atlantis, okay?
22
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,739
And you're definitely
not going to find it in Bernie Mac's backyard.
23
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:16,980
(sighs)
24
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:20,280
Dinosaurs,
space station, Atlantis.
25
00:01:20,355 --> 00:01:22,775
How did we get to this, America?
26
00:01:22,858 --> 00:01:26,278
Kids expecting parties that cost
as much as small weddings?
27
00:01:26,361 --> 00:01:27,791
Wow.
28
00:01:27,871 --> 00:01:30,211
See, that's because parents
today are too indulgent.
29
00:01:30,282 --> 00:01:33,342
See, we teach our kids
to expect everything.
30
00:01:33,418 --> 00:01:36,588
When I came up,
I didn't expect nothing,
31
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:40,417
'cause Big Mama
kept it simple, real simple.
32
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,800
MAMA: Bernard, you know
what I just realized?
33
00:01:43,879 --> 00:01:46,229
Yesterday
was your birthday.
34
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,007
It was?
35
00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:50,861
Here. Have the rest
of my beans.
36
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:53,236
Happy birthday, baby.
37
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,533
♪ That's right, you're gone ♪
38
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,868
And I was the spoiled one.
39
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,161
(down-tempo music playing)
40
00:02:13,408 --> 00:02:15,378
(up-tempo music playing)
41
00:02:15,452 --> 00:02:18,462
The way that girl's been
sulking around here is just depressing.
42
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:21,838
Oh, sweetheart, come on,
I gave her the Atlantis.
43
00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:24,507
(scoffs)
A ceramic knickknack
44
00:02:24,586 --> 00:02:26,636
that's found at the bottom
of a fish tank?
45
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,393
Wanda, I'm trying to be
the best doggone parent
46
00:02:29,466 --> 00:02:32,676
I possibly can...
without spoiling the kids.
47
00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:36,231
But at least can we let her
invite some of her friends?
48
00:02:36,306 --> 00:02:38,186
I mean, come on, she just
started a new school,
49
00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:40,576
and this would
be so good for her.
50
00:02:43,146 --> 00:02:45,286
Hey, Baby Girl!
51
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,115
Come on,
get your pancakes!
52
00:02:47,192 --> 00:02:48,292
Uncle Bernie.
Hmm?
53
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:50,378
Can you pass
the chocolate milk? Sure.
54
00:02:52,447 --> 00:02:54,507
Mmm! My hand's thirsty.
55
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,927
Jordan, what
are you doing?
56
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:03,768
Say, that's pretty good.
57
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:07,435
They should put this milk
on the side of a milk carton,
58
00:03:07,512 --> 00:03:11,392
because it's
mysteriously vanished.
59
00:03:11,466 --> 00:03:15,136
Aw, I forgot
to hook up the bladder!
60
00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:17,440
Oh, Jordan, now,
look at your shirt.
61
00:03:17,514 --> 00:03:19,524
Go on in there
and change your shirt.
62
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:21,369
(groans)
I hope you curdle.
63
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,203
Baby Girl, hurry up!
64
00:03:24,279 --> 00:03:26,869
Come on. Get your pancakes
before they get cold, now!
65
00:03:31,236 --> 00:03:32,856
Hey, what you still
doing in here?
66
00:03:32,938 --> 00:03:36,078
I made you pancakes.
You usually be the first one down there.
67
00:03:36,157 --> 00:03:37,917
I don't feel
like pancakes.
68
00:03:37,993 --> 00:03:39,243
I hope you don't
feel like that
69
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,760
about your birthday
cake at your party.
70
00:03:41,838 --> 00:03:43,598
Party?
71
00:03:43,674 --> 00:03:45,224
That's right. That's
usually how it go. Thank you, Uncle Bernie!
72
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,976
Oh, you're welcome,
sweetheart.
73
00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:49,722
But remember, baby
girl, no Atlantis.
74
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:53,096
Just old school cake,
old school ice cream,
75
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,858
and a few friends, okay?
Yay!
76
00:03:57,262 --> 00:03:58,742
Where you going?
77
00:03:58,814 --> 00:04:00,244
Pancakes.
78
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,694
Wanda's right, America.
79
00:04:02,767 --> 00:04:06,067
It is important for Bryana
to fit in and have friends...
80
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,486
but it's also important to keep
81
00:04:07,564 --> 00:04:10,244
your kids'
expectations in check.
82
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,371
See, that way, they'll learn
83
00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:16,158
to truly appreciate
what they do get.
84
00:04:16,239 --> 00:04:19,549
(up-tempo music playing)
(kids screaming)
85
00:04:21,878 --> 00:04:23,758
Riley, you made it!
86
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,376
Uncle Bernie, this is Riley,
my new best friend. Hmm?
87
00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:29,680
Hi.
Hi, Riley.
88
00:04:29,753 --> 00:04:32,603
Nice to meet you.
Give me that. Run along.
89
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:34,722
Okay.
Thank you so much for having Riley.
90
00:04:34,799 --> 00:04:37,529
I mean, those two
are like peas in a pod. I'll say.
91
00:04:37,602 --> 00:04:41,322
All we hear from Bryana
is Riley, Riley, Riley. (grunting)
92
00:04:41,398 --> 00:04:43,108
Hey, stick around.
93
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,633
We got coffee
and cake later.
94
00:04:44,709 --> 00:04:46,779
Okay, I think I can see
where this is going. (chuckles)
95
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,647
We'll head out
before you ask us to stay
96
00:04:48,730 --> 00:04:51,280
and help chaperone.
Thank you.
97
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:52,368
Can't hurt a man
for trying.
98
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:54,462
Nice to meet you.
Bye.
99
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:59,415
(fanfare playing)
100
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,619
ALL: Wow!
(cheering)
101
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,881
Uncle Bernie, Jordan's
ruining my party!
102
00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:07,303
What are you talking about?
I'm a hit!
103
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,928
Okay, pick a
card, any card.
104
00:05:11,636 --> 00:05:13,926
Okay, now put it
on top of the deck.
105
00:05:14,005 --> 00:05:18,515
Okay. (sighs)
Prepare to be amazed by the Amazing Jordini.
106
00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:21,983
Are they tricks?
Are they illusions?
107
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,445
Or are they magic?
108
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:27,284
Was it... the eight of clubs?
109
00:05:27,352 --> 00:05:29,992
Oh, my gosh, it was!
It is magic!
110
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,743
ALL: Wow!
111
00:05:31,815 --> 00:05:33,445
It's not magic.
It's called palming.
112
00:05:33,525 --> 00:05:35,325
He keeps the card
on his palm,
113
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,162
then puts it on the bottom
of the deck.
114
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:40,367
ALL (groaning): Aw...
115
00:05:40,448 --> 00:05:43,498
Oh, my God!
You told my trick!
116
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,336
That's a crime against magic!
117
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:47,546
If Houdini were alive,
he would kill you.
118
00:05:47,622 --> 00:05:49,672
But, since he's not,
I'm going to have to.
119
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,979
(all gasping)
Jordini, hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down now.
120
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,222
Let's see if you can
disappear to your own room, okay?
121
00:05:54,295 --> 00:05:55,505
BRYANA: Moon bounce!
122
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:57,728
Yeah!
(kids squealing)
123
00:06:00,301 --> 00:06:01,601
Honey.
Huh?
124
00:06:01,678 --> 00:06:03,308
You did a good thing
here today.
125
00:06:03,388 --> 00:06:04,938
Thank you.
126
00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:06,984
She's really enjoying
herself, isn't she?
127
00:06:07,058 --> 00:06:08,398
Oh, she's having a blast.
128
00:06:08,476 --> 00:06:10,526
(kids laughing)
129
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,577
(up-tempo music playing)
130
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,617
(mutters)
131
00:06:24,576 --> 00:06:26,176
BERNIE: Kids,
time for cake!
132
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,053
(kids screaming)
133
00:06:34,669 --> 00:06:37,059
I love cake! I love cake!
134
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,437
I love cake!
135
00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:42,346
(screams)
136
00:06:42,427 --> 00:06:45,057
(thud)
(kids gasping)
137
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,528
Oh, my God.
138
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,317
Sweetheart, are you...
are you all right?
139
00:06:50,393 --> 00:06:53,613
(inhaling)
140
00:06:53,688 --> 00:06:57,748
Oh, Lord, here it comes...
141
00:06:58,568 --> 00:07:01,588
(screaming)
142
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:05,248
Oh, sweetheart,
you know what?
143
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,535
I think it's smarter
to go with a white cast.
144
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,793
Therefore, your friends
can sign their names,
145
00:07:09,871 --> 00:07:11,631
make different designs
on it for you.
146
00:07:11,706 --> 00:07:13,416
What you think?
Riley.
147
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:14,884
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
148
00:07:14,959 --> 00:07:16,509
Hey, you, sweet pea,
how you doing?
149
00:07:16,586 --> 00:07:18,426
Doctor said it's broken.
150
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,715
They're going to put
a cast on it.
151
00:07:19,797 --> 00:07:21,567
MOTHER: Oh, my goodness.
Oh, you poor dear.
152
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:23,431
Well, it looks like
somebody finally got
153
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,350
a way out of their
violin lessons, huh? (chuckles)
154
00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:26,698
BERNIE: Excuse me.
Yeah?
155
00:07:26,771 --> 00:07:28,951
May I talk to you
for a minute, please? Sure.
156
00:07:30,725 --> 00:07:32,775
Listen, man, I feel
so awful, man, Aw...
157
00:07:32,861 --> 00:07:34,391
what happened,
man, so, um,
158
00:07:34,471 --> 00:07:37,411
I'd like to pay
for y-your daughter's hospital bills.
159
00:07:37,482 --> 00:07:39,122
Oh, geez, Bernie,
that's very generous, but...
160
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:42,582
No, no, no, no,
no, no, I insist. All of 'em.
161
00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:45,828
Wow. Hey... thank you.
162
00:07:45,907 --> 00:07:47,287
(doorbell rings)
163
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:50,177
(whistling melody)
164
00:07:51,829 --> 00:07:54,679
Mr. Bernie Mac.
Oh, from the Quiggs.
165
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:56,638
Oh.
166
00:07:57,802 --> 00:07:59,192
Must be the hospital bill.
167
00:08:02,173 --> 00:08:03,983
(mutters)
168
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:08,074
Hey...
169
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:12,105
Bernie Mac being sued?!
Negligence?!
170
00:08:12,183 --> 00:08:14,943
You can say whatever the hell
you want to say about me.
171
00:08:15,019 --> 00:08:17,149
Call me ugly,
say you don't like me.
172
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:22,030
Hell, even say I ain't funny,
but don't call me the "N" word.
173
00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:24,834
Negligence?!
If I was a negligent parent,
174
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,414
those kids would still
be in Chicago.
175
00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:28,800
Negligence?!
176
00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:38,510
I'm not taking no negligence
charge, I'm telling you!
177
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,519
Now, you earn your 250 an hour!
178
00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:43,028
Three-fifty an hour?
179
00:08:44,007 --> 00:08:47,307
I don't care what you earn.
Just make it happen.
180
00:08:47,385 --> 00:08:48,725
Doggone it now.
181
00:08:48,803 --> 00:08:50,693
Hate I met those Quiggs...
182
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,313
and that clumsy
little-ass daughter,
183
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:54,610
falling on her...
Hey, hey, Riley.
184
00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:55,664
Hi.
185
00:08:59,731 --> 00:09:02,871
(whispering)
What the hell she doing here?
186
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:03,992
What are you
talking about?
187
00:09:04,068 --> 00:09:05,538
She's still
Bryana's friend.
188
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,842
Or did you neglect
that detail?
189
00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:11,040
(car horn honks)
190
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:14,087
Oh, hey, Bernie.
Hey, nothing, man. You suing me.
191
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:16,282
I ought to give you
a real reason to sue to me.
192
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,966
Whoa, wait a minute.
Now I can understand your being a little bit upset...
193
00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:21,552
Little bit upset?
You're suing me, man!
194
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:24,758
No, no, we're suing
the situation, not you.
195
00:09:24,839 --> 00:09:27,099
I got a situation:
a legal document stating
196
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:28,415
that I'm a negligent parent.
197
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,392
Oh, come on, Bernie,
that's just legalese.
198
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,020
Legalese.
It's legalese.
199
00:09:32,096 --> 00:09:34,146
We're simply going after
the insurance company.
200
00:09:34,223 --> 00:09:36,073
I mean, we are entitled
to some compensation.
201
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:38,532
Wait a minute. Didn't I offer
to pay your bills?
202
00:09:38,603 --> 00:09:40,073
Didn't I offer
to pay your bills?!
203
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,276
You know, Riley showed
a tremendous aptitude
204
00:09:42,357 --> 00:09:44,907
for the violin,
and now who knows?
205
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,704
Bottom line is,
that's why you have insurance, right?
206
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,913
Ooh...
207
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,919
Can you believe that guy,
America?
208
00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:55,212
He's admitting
I'm not negligent.
209
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:59,460
Just trying to get something
for nothing... at my expense!
210
00:09:59,540 --> 00:10:03,720
Showing up here acting
like sunshine and lollipops.
211
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:05,799
He just lucky
Baby Girl was inside.
212
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:10,600
Otherwise, I've got negligence
all over his thieving ass.
213
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,487
I'll tell you what, baby...
214
00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:15,532
it's time for Baby Girl
to make a new best friend.
215
00:10:15,607 --> 00:10:17,737
But I want to go
to Riley's sleepover.
216
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:20,107
All my friends are
going to be there.
217
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,646
I know that, sweetheart,
218
00:10:21,729 --> 00:10:24,039
but our lawyer
feels, right now,
219
00:10:24,115 --> 00:10:26,695
that you all shouldn't
be playing together.
220
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:31,160
See, Riley's father feels
that the accident was my fault.
221
00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:35,049
Maybe, if we pay him
the money, then I can go.
222
00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:38,499
Um...
223
00:10:38,579 --> 00:10:41,049
(down-tempo music playing)
224
00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:43,338
Oh, man, don't ask me.
225
00:10:43,418 --> 00:10:45,518
Kids just love sleepovers.
226
00:10:45,595 --> 00:10:48,675
This sleepover's
very important to Baby Girl.
227
00:10:48,756 --> 00:10:51,466
What you want me to say?
228
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,651
There's got to be
something I can do.
229
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:56,663
Uh-huh.
230
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,620
Uh-huh.
231
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:04,749
Uh-huh.
232
00:11:07,442 --> 00:11:10,132
(kids chattering faintly)
233
00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:15,669
Oh, hey, Bernie.
Hey.
234
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:17,066
How you doing?
235
00:11:17,152 --> 00:11:18,922
Gosh, I'm so glad you
decided to let Bryana come.
236
00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:20,345
Riley's going
to be thrilled.
237
00:11:20,422 --> 00:11:22,962
Hold, hold,
hold on one minute.
238
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,720
I have a release form here,
and what it says is
239
00:11:26,794 --> 00:11:29,684
anything that Baby Girl does
is not actionable.
240
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:33,316
(chuckling) Oh, Bernie.
I'm not gonna sign that.
241
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,103
Well, she can't come in,
I'm sorry.
242
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,403
It's your choice. Sorry.
243
00:11:38,473 --> 00:11:40,023
You're right.
It is my choice.
244
00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:40,859
Come on, Baby Girl.
245
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,443
Wait, Uncle Bernie. Wait.
246
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:44,618
No, Uncle Bernie.
Let's go.
247
00:11:46,647 --> 00:11:49,567
I tried, America.
You saw me.
248
00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:51,580
Now, what am I
supposed to do?
249
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:54,746
I can't have Baby
Girl in there.
250
00:11:54,822 --> 00:11:56,502
I can get sued
for something else.
251
00:11:56,574 --> 00:11:59,794
Okay, what if she breaks
a Barbie doll?
252
00:11:59,869 --> 00:12:02,499
Okay, yeah,
or eats the last cookie?
253
00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:03,630
Or if they
have a pillow fight?
254
00:12:03,706 --> 00:12:05,116
Yeah, have a pillow fight,
255
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,970
and the next thing you know,
I'm being charged
256
00:12:07,043 --> 00:12:09,343
with assault
with a deadly weapon.
257
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,604
You know how they are.
258
00:12:11,255 --> 00:12:12,185
What?
259
00:12:13,382 --> 00:12:15,392
They got a zipper.
260
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,652
(class bell rings)
261
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:20,942
Oh, look.
There's your friend.
262
00:12:21,015 --> 00:12:22,605
The one who's trying
to take our house.
263
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,277
Is not. Shut up.
264
00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:25,946
(laughs)
265
00:12:27,522 --> 00:12:28,812
Sorry you missed it, Bryana.
266
00:12:28,890 --> 00:12:31,070
All your dad had to do
was sign a piece of paper.
267
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,450
My dad said that
your uncle's being cheap.
268
00:12:33,528 --> 00:12:36,828
Well, my uncle said that
your dad is using you to steal from us.
269
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,300
I got to go.
My arm hurts.
270
00:12:43,704 --> 00:12:45,354
(doorbell rings)
271
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,772
Hey.
272
00:12:48,843 --> 00:12:50,393
What are you
doing here, Burt?
273
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,450
Look, Riley came home
today in tears.
274
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:55,677
I guess she and Bryana got
into a fight over what happened the other night.
275
00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:58,638
Oh, let me guess:
you're going to sue me for pain and suffering?
276
00:12:58,719 --> 00:13:00,809
Please, this whole lawsuit thing
277
00:13:00,888 --> 00:13:02,808
has taken on a life
that we never intended.
278
00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:04,940
And I think it's setting
a bad example for the girls.
279
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:07,067
Hallelujah.
You're finally getting it.
280
00:13:07,144 --> 00:13:08,994
That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
281
00:13:09,063 --> 00:13:10,993
Sure, sure.
282
00:13:11,065 --> 00:13:13,825
So, um...
in the interest of the kids,
283
00:13:13,901 --> 00:13:15,491
why don't you just, uh,
284
00:13:15,570 --> 00:13:18,370
cut me a check for, say, 25K?
285
00:13:18,447 --> 00:13:22,497
So you mean to tell me you came
all the way over here for money?
286
00:13:22,577 --> 00:13:24,757
After calling me
a negligent parent?
287
00:13:25,913 --> 00:13:27,803
So you won't leave
here empty-handed,
288
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:31,434
let me give you something:
a countersuit.
289
00:13:31,502 --> 00:13:32,842
Yeah.
290
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,190
For defamation of character.
291
00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:42,900
You just be there at 1:00.
292
00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:44,822
And you have your game face.
293
00:13:44,899 --> 00:13:48,279
Yeah, baby.
(phone beeps)
294
00:13:48,352 --> 00:13:49,742
So the deposition's
at 1:00?
295
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,326
One o'clock.
296
00:13:51,406 --> 00:13:53,196
They don't even know what
they're in for, sweetheart.
297
00:13:53,274 --> 00:13:55,244
Mickey's going
to eat them alive.
298
00:13:55,318 --> 00:13:56,448
Yeah, well,
he'd better.
299
00:13:56,527 --> 00:13:58,367
'Cause if he don't, I will.
300
00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:00,036
Trying to take
advantage of us?
301
00:14:00,114 --> 00:14:01,674
Those people must
be crazy.
302
00:14:03,793 --> 00:14:05,193
(sneers) Nice going, Bryana.
303
00:14:05,269 --> 00:14:07,339
Remember what happened
last time we were in court?
304
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,973
We lost our mom.
(sighs)
305
00:14:12,084 --> 00:14:12,894
(sighing)
306
00:14:13,711 --> 00:14:15,551
You...
307
00:14:15,630 --> 00:14:18,100
Oh, there go my tiger
shark right there.
308
00:14:18,174 --> 00:14:19,364
Sorry I'm late.
309
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:21,064
For some reason
double homicides
310
00:14:21,135 --> 00:14:23,055
always generate three
times the work.
311
00:14:23,137 --> 00:14:26,187
(chuckles)
What's he doing here?
312
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,065
Me? Well, that's simple.
313
00:14:28,142 --> 00:14:29,402
Let's see, you
represent the Quiggs,
314
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:32,147
off-the-rack over here
is representing
315
00:14:32,229 --> 00:14:33,739
Bernie's
insurance company.
316
00:14:33,814 --> 00:14:35,494
Why don't you
two get together,
317
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,240
work something out,
make yourselves happy.
318
00:14:37,318 --> 00:14:39,618
I'm sure you'll make
nice dance partners.
319
00:14:39,695 --> 00:14:42,115
I'm here to make sure
Mr. Bernie Mac is happy.
320
00:14:42,198 --> 00:14:46,078
And I ain't copping
no negligent parent charge, either.
321
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,970
So, let your
nightmare begin. Tonight.
322
00:14:51,832 --> 00:14:54,682
BERNIE: How's the family?
MICKEY: Good, good. Thanks.
323
00:14:54,752 --> 00:14:56,482
Everybody's well.
324
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:59,313
So, Riley, it's fair
to say that, apart
325
00:14:59,382 --> 00:15:02,862
from breaking it, you suffer
no real discomfort, huh?
326
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,150
It itches sometimes.
327
00:15:05,229 --> 00:15:07,769
My crack itch, but you
don't see me suing nobody.
328
00:15:07,848 --> 00:15:10,108
MICKEY: Bernie,
let me handle this.
329
00:15:10,184 --> 00:15:11,654
Go for it.
Now, you think that itching
330
00:15:11,727 --> 00:15:14,287
would go away if we
were to give you, uh,
331
00:15:14,364 --> 00:15:17,924
I don't know,
say $50,000?
332
00:15:23,698 --> 00:15:26,288
Uh, maybe I
could buy a pony.
333
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,791
Pony?
Well, sure.
334
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:32,802
God, I love deposing kids.
(Bernie laughs)
335
00:15:32,873 --> 00:15:35,423
All right, now. Don't worry.
I'll do the holding.
336
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:38,691
All I need you to do
is to finger a simple C chord.
337
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,510
Dad?
338
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:43,810
Dad can't help you now,
sweetheart.
339
00:15:43,884 --> 00:15:45,074
Yeah, come on.
340
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:48,984
C chord is the foundation
of the basic violin.
341
00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:50,556
I mean, surely
a violin prodigy
342
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:53,485
such as yourself
would know how to do that.
343
00:15:55,229 --> 00:15:57,029
There's blood in the water.
344
00:15:57,106 --> 00:15:58,576
(chomping)
345
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:02,204
(swallows)
346
00:16:02,278 --> 00:16:03,908
All gone.
347
00:16:03,988 --> 00:16:05,758
My face (indistinct).
348
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,672
And did you read
the disclaimer
349
00:16:09,744 --> 00:16:11,894
on maximum occupancy
for the temporary structure?
350
00:16:12,788 --> 00:16:13,968
(chuckles)
351
00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,974
Temporary structure?
352
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,763
Man, it was a moon bounce.
353
00:16:18,836 --> 00:16:21,346
Man, this is just
some bull.
354
00:16:21,422 --> 00:16:22,932
The question stands.
355
00:16:23,007 --> 00:16:26,557
Let the record show
it was a six person limit, yes, yes.
356
00:16:26,635 --> 00:16:30,435
And when Riley, uh,
broke her wrist,
357
00:16:30,514 --> 00:16:33,074
was that being adhered to?
Yes.
358
00:16:33,142 --> 00:16:36,902
Baby Girl was the only one
in there at the time, yes.
359
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,863
So you left two children
360
00:16:38,939 --> 00:16:41,409
unsupervised in
a highly pressurized
361
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:44,708
gas-filled temporary structure.
362
00:16:47,323 --> 00:16:50,503
Look, man, we was lighting
the birthday cake at the time.
363
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:54,096
Good God! Now you've introduced
fire into the situation?
364
00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:58,380
How come I'm being held
the negligent parent here?
365
00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:00,893
Burt just-- is just
as responsible.
366
00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:03,521
He left his child
in a stranger's home.
367
00:17:04,799 --> 00:17:09,399
So you admit you're not
a responsible caregiver?
368
00:17:15,142 --> 00:17:17,452
Um...
When we resume tomorrow,
369
00:17:17,528 --> 00:17:19,408
we'll want to speak
with Bryana.
370
00:17:19,489 --> 00:17:21,539
Really appreciate it.
You're welcome.
371
00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:24,620
How we doing?
372
00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:27,083
Well, we were doing fine
before you started talking.
373
00:17:27,154 --> 00:17:28,584
I-I'll tell you
another thing.
374
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:31,036
Bryana had better be
really good tomorrow.
375
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,591
Oh, she will,
she will.
376
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,670
(up-tempo music playing)
377
00:17:35,746 --> 00:17:37,666
Do I have to do this?
378
00:17:37,748 --> 00:17:39,668
Yes, you do, Baby Girl.
379
00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:42,550
That's why we keep
going over this.
380
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,938
You want them
to walk all over us?
381
00:17:45,014 --> 00:17:47,114
Do you want them to think
I'm a negligent parent?
382
00:17:48,342 --> 00:17:49,612
Well, come on.
383
00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:52,939
Now, once again,
were you aware
384
00:17:53,013 --> 00:17:55,903
of the occupancy guideline
for the temporary structure?
385
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,445
Were you or were you not?
Um...
386
00:17:58,528 --> 00:18:00,858
You can't be humming
and humming around!
387
00:18:00,938 --> 00:18:02,708
We done been through
this, baby girl.
388
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,622
Focus!
Uh, Bernie.
389
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,083
Huh?
Can I have a word?
390
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,333
Sure, I'll be--
I'll be right there, baby.
391
00:18:09,405 --> 00:18:11,615
These lawyers
ain't no joke.
392
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,169
They get inside your head
393
00:18:13,242 --> 00:18:15,332
and scramble it like
a scrambled egg, do you hear me?
394
00:18:15,411 --> 00:18:17,131
Bernie.
What?!
395
00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:19,104
Please come here!
396
00:18:19,915 --> 00:18:21,255
And don't think,
because you're cute,
397
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,933
that they're going
to play with you.
398
00:18:23,752 --> 00:18:26,472
They kill cute people.
Handicapped.
399
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:27,981
I seen what they did
with a cat in a wheelchair.
400
00:18:28,057 --> 00:18:30,567
Rolled him down,
took the brake off.
401
00:18:31,352 --> 00:18:32,632
What do you think you're...?
402
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,312
Those lawyers are tough--
that's what I think.
403
00:18:34,388 --> 00:18:36,858
And, if I don't prep
Baby Girl right now,
404
00:18:36,932 --> 00:18:38,272
let me tell
you something--
405
00:18:38,342 --> 00:18:39,372
she won't be able
to handle the pressure.
406
00:18:39,444 --> 00:18:41,034
So what do you think
you're doing
407
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,277
by putting the pressure
that you're putting on her?
408
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:46,655
I got a job to do,
doggone it,
409
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,244
and I'm going to do it.
410
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:50,203
Well, you know what?
411
00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:55,049
For the first time,
you actually are acting like a negligent parent.
412
00:18:55,126 --> 00:18:56,746
Wha-What?
413
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,001
Okay, baby girl,
you ready?
414
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:01,593
It's game time.
415
00:19:01,665 --> 00:19:03,965
Your Uncle Bernie's good
name is riding on this.
416
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,973
You got to be tough.
You got to have ice water in your veins.
417
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,256
You understand me?
418
00:19:08,339 --> 00:19:10,139
Everything
is counting on you.
419
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,596
You ready?
(shakily) Um...
420
00:19:12,676 --> 00:19:15,976
Oh, baby girl,
we've been through "um."
421
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:18,905
I don't like this.
Please don't make me.
422
00:19:22,269 --> 00:19:24,039
(mutters)
423
00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:27,120
Damn.
424
00:19:33,548 --> 00:19:37,118
Hey, there he is,
Mr. Bernie Mac.
425
00:19:37,201 --> 00:19:39,921
So, where's our little
star witness, huh?
426
00:19:39,995 --> 00:19:42,795
You know what, Mick?
I decided that, uh,
427
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,757
she's not going
to take the stand today.
428
00:19:45,834 --> 00:19:47,814
What? Wait a minute.
You know what this means?
429
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,258
Yes, I know what it means.
430
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:55,063
But what about the... what
about the negligent parent?
431
00:19:55,135 --> 00:19:56,975
(Staple Singers:
"Respect Yourself" playing)
432
00:19:57,054 --> 00:19:58,904
You know what?
I've been thinking.
433
00:19:58,973 --> 00:20:02,073
I'd rather be called
a negligent parent
434
00:20:02,151 --> 00:20:03,701
than be one.
435
00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:07,528
♪ If you disrespect
everybody that you... ♪
436
00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:10,406
All right.
I'll handle it.
437
00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:11,674
Thank you.
438
00:20:12,695 --> 00:20:14,835
♪ Just get out the way ♪
439
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:18,344
♪ And let the gentleman
do his thing ♪
440
00:20:20,244 --> 00:20:21,594
♪ Respect yourself ♪
441
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,336
Come on, Baby Girl,
let's go.
442
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,668
You're off the hook.
443
00:20:24,748 --> 00:20:26,768
I'm sorry, Uncle Bernie.
444
00:20:27,501 --> 00:20:28,851
What, what you apologizing for?
445
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,758
Now we're gonna
lose our house
446
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:32,308
and have to live in a shelter.
447
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:35,859
What? Who told you that?
Jordan.
448
00:20:38,312 --> 00:20:40,522
Look, I'll deal with Jordan.
449
00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,111
But you forgot one thing.
450
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,278
You forgot to go
and say good-bye
451
00:20:45,352 --> 00:20:46,442
to your girlfriend Riley.
452
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,080
Oh, yeah!
453
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:55,408
I guess you could say
that Baby Girl's birthday
454
00:20:55,487 --> 00:21:00,117
went a little over budget,
but what's more important
455
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,040
is that Bernie Mac
is still a good parent.
456
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:06,380
Speaking of which,
y'all need to excuse me.
457
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:09,801
There's a little magician
I need to make disappear.
458
00:21:09,877 --> 00:21:14,097
And, America, if you see him,
459
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:15,313
hold him for me.
460
00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:18,321
♪ Respect yourself ♪
461
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:25,482
Hospital bill?
462
00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:27,479
"Soft neck tissue X-ray."
463
00:21:27,561 --> 00:21:30,201
Look at this. $75.
464
00:21:30,272 --> 00:21:33,702
"Looked at." $150.
465
00:21:33,776 --> 00:21:35,786
When the hell
you heard of "looked at"?
466
00:21:36,779 --> 00:21:38,799
Ugh. "Medication."
467
00:21:40,115 --> 00:21:43,795
"Viacon." $455.
468
00:21:45,245 --> 00:21:46,665
"Viagra."
469
00:21:46,747 --> 00:21:48,597
Oh, that's mine.
470
00:21:56,340 --> 00:21:57,270
Captioned by Visual Data
471
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:01,870
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34398
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof