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1
00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:01,570
[ Siren wails ]
2
00:00:02,833 --> 00:00:05,203
I did nothing wrong.
I did nothing wrong.
3
00:00:05,233 --> 00:00:07,373
Yes. I did stab my brother,
but that's it.
4
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,000
-Shh. Shh.
-I...
5
00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:11,133
-Shh. Shh.
-Tell me why you are
6
00:00:11,167 --> 00:00:13,297
putting handcuffs
on me.
7
00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:14,473
I did nothing wrong.
8
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:16,570
Shh. Shh.
9
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,300
CURTIS: That's what I'd do
if I got arrested.
10
00:00:19,333 --> 00:00:23,403
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
11
00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:27,473
Please have
your seats.
12
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:30,630
Today,
there's one case tonight.
13
00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:33,127
It's a murder.
We've got witnesses.
14
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:36,297
We'll figure it out.
15
00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:39,633
Order in the court.
16
00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:42,297
We may begin now.
Please rise.
17
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:46,173
Okay, see I'm on the wham, too,
because I'm the prosecutor.
18
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,470
I don't know.
Oh, shoot.
19
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:51,230
Do I --
Do I need to know the names?
20
00:00:51,267 --> 00:00:53,397
Uh, Curtis stabbed Steve.
21
00:00:53,433 --> 00:00:57,633
All right, Your Honor, I'm here
today to represent...
22
00:00:57,667 --> 00:00:58,727
Steve?
23
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,727
-Yes.
-But you stabbed him.
24
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,627
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Okay.
25
00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:07,227
Steve was in a situation
that he should not be in,
26
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,027
and he was stabbed.
27
00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:13,227
Curtis does not deserve
to be in the streets.
28
00:01:13,267 --> 00:01:17,727
To stab your own brother,
how dare you?
29
00:01:17,767 --> 00:01:20,997
If you had a brother
30
00:01:21,033 --> 00:01:22,533
and he stabbed you,
31
00:01:22,567 --> 00:01:24,367
how would that make you feel?
32
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,300
Thinking about it.
33
00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:28,373
Uh, thank you.
34
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,470
Now calling up Curtis,
35
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:33,500
who is going to be
representing himself today.
36
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:36,303
All rise.
Please state your full name.
37
00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:37,373
Hi.
My name is Curtis.
38
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,330
My brother and I
were very close.
39
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:44,727
And I'm sorry.
40
00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:46,367
Do you need a moment?
41
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,670
No,
because alls I have is moments,
42
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:53,630
and I've unfortunately taken
my moments in a poor direction.
43
00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:55,527
None of this adds up,
is what I'm saying.
44
00:01:55,567 --> 00:02:00,467
I came back, uh, from selling
a house, and here I am.
45
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:01,800
Thank you.
46
00:02:01,833 --> 00:02:04,003
Go back
a couple moments.
47
00:02:04,033 --> 00:02:06,633
Can you tell us a little bit
more about this house?
48
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:08,467
Yeah. Um, I'm a real-estate
agent, and I...
49
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:13,530
Records show that the day that
you were selling this house,
50
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:17,467
Steve was admitted
into the hospital
51
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,730
for a wound.
-Uh, there were --
52
00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:22,467
Now that's the same wound
you mentioned earlier?
53
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,130
It's the same,
and in the abdomen.
54
00:02:24,167 --> 00:02:25,527
Correct.
I'm looking at you.
55
00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:28,067
I'm looking at all you
jury men and jury women,
56
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:30,630
and I'm saying, I'm sorry.
I'm not guilty because I was --
57
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:32,667
Now if you could just
calm down a little bit.
58
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,530
You know, I drink my coffee
and I walk in here
59
00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:37,627
and I hope every day that
I'll just have a calm --
60
00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:39,227
calm conversation.
61
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:40,397
Yeah.
I -- I understand that.
62
00:02:40,433 --> 00:02:42,503
I -- Same. Same.
63
00:02:42,533 --> 00:02:44,473
You know,
I don't think you...
64
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,500
I don't think you do.
65
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,173
No. Your Honor,
I think I understand
66
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,300
more than
you'll ever know.
67
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:51,533
That's not important
right now.
68
00:02:51,567 --> 00:02:52,667
It's important to me.
69
00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:54,570
Well...
70
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,130
seeing as...
71
00:02:57,167 --> 00:02:59,667
ever since I...
72
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:02,570
lost my...
73
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,630
I don't like
to talk about it.
74
00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:07,567
So it sounds like
we're on the same boat then.
75
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,400
Okay.
We've heard two accounts.
76
00:03:09,433 --> 00:03:11,033
Now we have
our third account
77
00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:14,697
from Mrs. Charlene,
wife of Curtis.
78
00:03:14,733 --> 00:03:20,303
Um, if you could please
come up to the...
79
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,533
desk.
80
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,530
Wait a second.
81
00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:27,627
**
82
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:29,297
That's just a photograph.
83
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:32,573
Curtis,
looking at you now.
84
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:36,130
What do you have
to say about this?
85
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,667
The ball is not
in my court right now.
86
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,530
Order in the court.
87
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,627
All rise.
88
00:03:41,667 --> 00:03:43,627
Somebody call Charlene.
89
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:48,727
[ Train wheels clacking ]
90
00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:59,073
Man, I love traveling on trains,
but this is all about business.
91
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,130
This isn't...
92
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:02,297
[ Gulping ]
93
00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:05,473
You can't bog down
my head with train wine.
94
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:09,230
[ Glass shatters ]
95
00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:12,367
All right.
That must be him.
96
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,630
It looks
just like Dr. Bismal,
97
00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:19,627
but with more masculine
musculature in the face.
98
00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:23,467
[ Wheels continue clacking ]
99
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:27,130
Just got to, uh,
take it easy,
100
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,997
but what do I say?
101
00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:31,173
Hello?
102
00:04:36,767 --> 00:04:39,627
Yes.
My bird is very ill.
103
00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:42,767
Uh...
104
00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:09,673
Calling up second
witness to the stand.
105
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:16,200
You may know her as Dr. Bismal,
doctor over Steve's body.
106
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,633
[ Hammer bangs ]
Please begin.
107
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,397
The extent of the injuries
to Steve's person,
108
00:05:22,433 --> 00:05:24,203
they really
weren't that bad.
109
00:05:24,233 --> 00:05:27,803
Now as you've said, Steve looked
fine despite the fact
110
00:05:27,833 --> 00:05:29,633
that his eyes
were poked out,
111
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,567
but you did see
his dead body.
112
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,230
No. I --
Yes. I did.
113
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:34,727
-But did you or didn't you?
-I did.
114
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:36,667
-Okay. So we --
-He died of a broken heart
115
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,470
because his brother
stabbed him.
116
00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:40,330
-Objection.
-Order in the court.
117
00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:42,627
We've got photographs.
118
00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:46,027
If you can all point your
attention to this slide show.
119
00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:48,467
-Ugh!
-It was consensual.
120
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:50,300
-We can go back.
-I rest my --
121
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,733
I rest my case.
-Case rested.
122
00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:54,327
We can go back to the point
the prosecutor has made.
123
00:05:54,367 --> 00:05:55,567
It was consensual.
124
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,000
Please tell us
a little bit about that.
125
00:05:58,033 --> 00:06:02,473
Charlene asked my victim
to rub massage oil
126
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,700
because he was called over
to massage oil.
127
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,633
Do we have any proof
of this transaction?
128
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:09,467
You can just run
the footage.
129
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:14,130
Juries, can you imagine
hot massage oil?
130
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:17,627
You haven't had any
for almost two weeks
131
00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:20,497
because your husband
doesn't please you,
132
00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:28,173
and you have these hot nice
hands sliding down your bosom,
133
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,530
just curving right
over your ass.
134
00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:33,297
That don't turn you on?
That wasn't yummy?
135
00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:34,703
Objection, Your Honor.
136
00:06:34,733 --> 00:06:38,233
This is reaching a point
of, uh, I think filth.
137
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,797
If you had an object --
138
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:43,633
objection, Charlene would
have not purchased
139
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:48,497
that hot massage oil
to pleasure, to please.
140
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,303
Your Honor, the lube I feel
is complicating the story,
141
00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:53,503
and this is turning
into a sex show.
142
00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:55,703
Get the opinion
of the jury on this.
143
00:06:55,733 --> 00:06:59,133
This is Carmen, I'm one of
the hot babes here in the jury,
144
00:06:59,167 --> 00:07:01,667
and this is the hottest thing
I've heard all day,
145
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:04,130
and I'd love to hear
more lube dick talk.
146
00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:07,367
You heard them.
They want it.
147
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,500
CURTIS: I don't think
that's the way a court...
148
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,533
No. It's -- It's on.
I'm serious.
149
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:13,167
-I'm serious.
-No.
150
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,400
[ Hammer bangs ]
151
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,673
Taking from
what Dr. Bismal said,
152
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,670
that the stab wounds
were not deep enough
153
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,000
to have caused death,
154
00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:26,633
and taking from
what we've heard about...
155
00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:28,467
Curtis is not guilty.
[ Hammer bangs ]
156
00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,400
Everyone made a lot
of great points today,
157
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:32,333
and I think we should
all go out and celebrate
158
00:07:32,367 --> 00:07:35,597
the best way we know how to,
by talking about other things.
159
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:40,003
Wait, it's me, Steve.
I'm not dead.
160
00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:42,203
-What?
-Oh, my goodness.
161
00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:43,803
I was almost dead.
162
00:07:43,833 --> 00:07:47,333
I could feel the poking,
poking in my brain, Curtis.
163
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,197
-How did he get --
-Your Honor, let me go.
164
00:07:49,233 --> 00:07:51,203
-Okay. Releasing.
-Thank you.
165
00:07:51,233 --> 00:07:55,303
Steve, what in God's name
is going on?
166
00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:56,333
You're alive.
167
00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:58,127
Don't touch me, Curtis.
168
00:07:58,167 --> 00:07:59,667
-What, Steve?
-You tried to kill me
169
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:01,630
just because
I shoved my bits
170
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:04,497
right in your pistachio pie
of a loose-cannon woman,
171
00:08:04,533 --> 00:08:06,133
you think I'm a --
-Look, I agree with you.
172
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:07,997
She is a loose cannon.
-She's a loose cannon.
173
00:08:08,033 --> 00:08:09,133
That's --
That's why I love her. Do you understand me?
174
00:08:09,167 --> 00:08:10,327
Shut up, dude.
-Can we see?
175
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:12,297
-What?
-Do you have a badge?
176
00:08:12,333 --> 00:08:14,233
I don't have a --
Why would I have a badge?
177
00:08:14,267 --> 00:08:15,467
Steve, do you have
a pass to get in here?
178
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,530
No.
I don't need a pass.
179
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:18,167
Steve,
you do not have --
180
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,000
You could just sit down
and stop facing the wall.
181
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,303
-What?
-Steve, we're all over here.
182
00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:22,733
Am I facing the jury now?
183
00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:24,467
-Yes.
-There's a hot babe in there, right?
184
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,200
-Clementine.
-Carmen.
185
00:08:27,233 --> 00:08:28,803
-Carmen.
-When I came to,
186
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:31,033
I was in a shopping cart
down by the reservoir,
187
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,027
and I had to crawl all the way
here to get these eye patches
188
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,567
and this real sick
blind person's stick.
189
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,670
-That sounds terrible.
-I know. It was, dude.
190
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,700
-Sorry to hear that, man.
-Well --
191
00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:41,373
[ Train wheels clacking ]
192
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:47,130
**
193
00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:52,727
**
194
00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:55,327
No!
How could this be?
195
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:59,227
**
196
00:08:59,267 --> 00:09:03,667
Wait. These knife wounds don't
align with the cutlery set.
197
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:07,170
Wait a second.
I'm no ornatholog-- ornith--
198
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,400
Is it ornithologist
or "ornathilogist"?
199
00:09:09,433 --> 00:09:14,003
-Ornithologist.
-I'm no ornithologist myself,
200
00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:19,133
but these knife stabbings match
the curvature of these birds.
201
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,527
Conductor. Conductor.
202
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:24,167
-How may I help you?
-Conductor.
203
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,400
-How may I help you?
-Are you a bird?
204
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,073
How may I help you?
205
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,670
The conductor was in on it.
206
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:36,167
-Curtis.
-Uh, who is that?
207
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,800
They just locked me up
in here in the night tent...
208
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:40,403
-Wait.
-...because they're about to
209
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:42,573
ship you to other prison
aren't they?
210
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,170
Steve,
did you come to free me?
211
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,700
I just got myself, uh,
picked up
212
00:09:46,733 --> 00:09:48,733
for drunk driving
around a school,
213
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:50,727
hitting a few kids.
-We got to talk, man.
214
00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:53,367
All this crap about
me stabbing you and stuff,
215
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,730
I know, I'm sorry,
but...
216
00:09:54,767 --> 00:09:56,727
Ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha!
217
00:09:56,767 --> 00:10:00,527
What? Are you crying or laughing
right now, Steve?
218
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:02,127
Steve.
219
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:03,997
Am I in a different state,
or it's all in one state?
220
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:05,333
Why would you even
talk right now?
221
00:10:05,367 --> 00:10:06,567
You're not in
the same state as us.
222
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,630
Oh, okay.
223
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:09,467
-I...
-Sorry about that.
224
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:12,170
...have a confession
to make, Curtis.
225
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,170
Steve, you smell weird.
226
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,670
Would you believe me if I told
you I already got new eyes?
227
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,500
Yeah.
I'd believe you.
228
00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:21,173
Well, that's stupid because
clearly it takes four weeks
229
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,700
to get someone new eyes,
and these eyes...
230
00:10:23,733 --> 00:10:26,633
Oh, my gosh.
231
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:29,527
Who are you?
You're not Steve.
232
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:31,627
-No. I'm not.
-You're not Steve.
233
00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:34,167
[ Bleats ]
234
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,330
MICHOLS: * See the world
with eyes of joy *
235
00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:42,467
* Because I am
just a little boy *
236
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:49,470
* Outsi-i-de
237
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:56,000
* It's just another
perfect day out on the sea *
238
00:10:56,033 --> 00:11:03,303
* It's just another happy place
where I feel free *
239
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:04,673
She came to...
240
00:11:04,723 --> 00:11:09,273
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