Original subtitles

CURTIS: * Oh, man, I went shopping *

* I got all these cool shirts

* It's great to go to college and start -- *

* Just take a -- Wait, Curtis *

* Breathe, breathe -* I know

-* I want to apologize -* Why are you apologizing?

* Well, I know it's a little tough *

* To come into here out of school *

* But you ba-doo-ba-doo, but you bad-doo-ba-doo *

* But you ba-doo-ba-doo, but I know you know *

* I fiddled around with your high-school sweetheart *

* Nah, don't worry about it, fresh start, fresh start *

* Let's bygones be bygones

* And just let's do what we do best *

* Hey, guys

[ Jazz music plays ]

* He's got those rats

-* I'm Ratman -* These guys are your pets

* Wow

* I'm Ratman

-* Ohh -* They're not pets, dumbass

* I just assumed, I'm sorry *

* I'm Ratman

* My major is real estate *

* Well, I studied law

* Hey, Ratman, what did you bring in your bags? *

* Blood [ Jazz music plays ]

-* That really is blood -* Hey, dude, you got to

* Get used to this college culture, Curtis *

* Ratman [ Jazz music plays ]

* We're going rabid with Ratman *

-* This is the best year ever -* Ratman

* Do you sell the rats? I don't understand *

* They're part of Ratman

* It's like a rat agalgamis-- *

* I just graduated high school a few months ago *

* You know tran-- You read "Walden Pond"? * * Yeah, yeah

-* You know transcendental? -* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* It's kind of like we're all part of one rat *

* It's your first time here, kid? *

* It's a beautiful campus

* And I've met a lot of cool people *

* There's so many new and beautiful things *

* Open to me -* Shush, shush, shush

* Oh, they taste like garbage *

* That's what the blood's for *

* Mm, it tastes like garbage *

* You know, over here at college *

* We have an old initiation trick for the froshies *

* Let's give him a hello slap, yeah *

* That's right, baby

* Mm

* Mm

* Uh

* Curtis, what's wrong?

* It's weird not having Dad here and -- *

* Oh, little crybaby, you stupid crybaby *

* I'm not crying

* Steve, that shit's gonna come back around to you tenfold *

* What do you mean, Ratman? *

* It's it's the karmic process that happens in life *

* You have to put the good energy out there *

* I have my rats that take out *

* Individual bad-energy molecules *

* And deliver the bad ones

* Deliver them to the goat farm *

* Where the bad energy goes

* It's not visible on the visible spectrum *

* But it is palpable

* I miss my dad

* Would you like a Ratman kiss? *

* Is that what people do in college? *

* It's what the cool kids do in college *

* Yeah, I mean, then at least let me unbutton my shirt *

* All right

* How's this bonfire party treating you, Curtis? *

* Well, all the smoke is getting in my lungs *

* And makes it hard to breathe *

* I don't learn anybody's names *

* That's how it's part of being a Ratman is done *

* Ratman's the best character *

-[ Laughs ] -Wait.

* Hey, Ratman, do you know that woman over there? *

* You better keep your eyes off her *

* That's Julietta

* No, Charlene

-* Beautiful eyes -* Watch out, dude

* I've seen that girl, Charlene, in math class *

* She's in your math class?

* She must be super smart

* She's always like, "X equals Y" [Mumbling] *

* Well, I think it's really cool that she knew the answer *

* Hey, guys

* I, uh, I want to introduce you to Charlene and, uh... *

* Uh, hi, Charlene, my name is Curtis *

-* Nice going, Ratman -* I'm the best

* So, uh, you're friends with the Ratman *

* He's actually my roommate *

* He has a lot of rats on him, huh? *

Yeah. He's, uh, I --

I also know your other friend from our, um, geometry class.

* She doesn't know we're brothers yet, Ratman *

* So she called me his friend -* I love it

* That guy is my brother, Steve, he's my older brother *

* I actually just started college *

I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

* I'm two years older than him *

-* Yeah -* When I was 6, he was 4

-* Yeah -It's too much.

That's a lot of math. -* Um, I was wondering

* Maybe tomorrow, you'd like to go to Italian Bakery *

* With me and talk about things *

Uh, yeah, sure.

Why not?

-* All right -* Okay

Is this for you or your brother?

* Oh, this is 'cause you and I are supposed to get bread *

I'm so sorry. Let me just clear my throat.

[ Coughs ]

Okay. All right.

* Oh, God bless you, Charlene *

-I'm sorry. -* God bless you

You buff me?

* No, I -- I mean God bless you *

* It's a way of saying I hope you are feeling *

* All right after you sneeze *

I don't.

You seem to know a lot about, um,

interior design and houses and also feng shui.

* Feng shui is kind of my "thang, thang" *

* If you know what I'm saying *

I don't.

-* Oh -I'm a geometry major

because I'm just very interested in shapes.

-* Right -Like, when I look at your face,

it's mainly, uh, it's mainly oval.

-* What else do you see? -Your nose is a triangle.

-* Huh -Your eyes are also oval,

but different ovals,

and your head is sideways oval.

* Oh

And, um, your mouth is, like, sideways oval,

but thin, long sideways oval.

* Yeah, I definitely -- *

* Do you mind if I kiss you? *

I don't mind.

**

[ Smooching ]

* Ow, that hurts *

[ Giggles, smooching ]

[ Slurping ] * Okay, all right

-Hey. Psst! -* All right

* Hey -Hey.

* What are you doing here? *

* Hospital's closed.

We have to talk.

* Okay

On the -- On the -- In the cabin on the train,

I discovered your brother,

who I was supposed to kill, already dead,

and his murder was carried out by birds.

You have to explain this incident.

* Well, there's one problem with that *

* They were supposed to kill you, too *

Why?!

* Nobody ever makes it out of the bird train alive *

* They asked me to get you out of the county *

* You aren't supposed to be here *

I was in a different state.

* Yeah

I need more explanation.

* Well, I don't have any

Well, that's -- that's anticlimactic.

* You're supposed to fight it out of me *

* You're supposed to choke me or something *

-Oh. -* Or smack me

I want this information,

and I will go to any length to get it!

* You were supposed to die *

* And I guess I'm gonna have to finish the job myself *

Well, whoa. While you were -- While you weren't looking,

I grabbed one of those syringes off of the table

that they were labeled poison. -* Oh, my God

* You've poisoned the poison doctor *

* I was taken aback by how smart she is *

* She's just really cool

* And, like, I think I think feelings *

* That I've never felt before about her *

* I'm so smitten and just enamored and -- *

* You mean sexually

* Well, you know

* Maybe someday down the road, but, you know -- *

* Little guy, if this is, uh, anything going on *

* That doesn't involve slapping or jet skis *

* Gelato, Ratman don't care *

* You know what, I don't care either *

* If there's anything Curtis don't care about *

* It's only beer, gelato, and jet skis *

* Uh, okay? * I'm not sure if you're saying a double negative *

* But I've just fallen in love *

* Huh?

* You were always my favorite *

-* That's awesome -* Curtis, wake up

-* I was... -* Curtis

* ...very hesitant to be hypnotized *

* And with good reason

* That was terrifying

* You get to the core of your feelings *

* And of that anger

* And once we do that, then you can start to forgive yourself *

* What if I don't want to forgive myself? *

* I won't sign your prison therapy forms *

-* I'm a bad man! -* Curtis

* I'm a bad man

* I can't even hold a successful marriage *

* I can't even successfully stab my brother *

* I didn't even kill him

* I tried to kill him in the moment *

* And I didn't even do that *

* It's chocolate coconut, it's my favorite *

* It sounds good * It's cheaper than the other ones *

* I don't know why

* Doctor, I'm having visions again right now *

* Is that normal?

-* Yes, definitely -* Charlene

* Why do you think she betrayed you? *

* Why do you think Charlene betrayed you? *

* Well, let me ask her

* Charlene, why'd you betray me? *

Because things change.

-* Because things change -People change.

-* What changed? -* People change

-Times change. -* Times change

* Do you think you became... *

* Doctor wants to know if you think that... *

* ...a disappointing version of yourself? *

* ...I became a disappointing version to you *

[ Inhales deeply ]

-I don't know. -* She doesn't know

* You know, when Charlene says, "I don't know" *

* That means yes

-* Doctor says yes, Charlene -That isn't --

-* Doctor says, "Yes" -She's a quack.

* I'm gonna drown you a little bit *

* And you're gonna calm down now *

* And take a nap, gonna take a bath nap now *

* Just some purple toenail polish for my lunch break *

* Gonna fix his stupid little eyes *

* And his stupid little nose *

**

**

* Uh, I fee-- No, I'll far-- Is this a -- Ratman, what? *

* I'm Ratman [ Jazz music plays ]

* This feels like wood

* It's a wooden Dumpster

* It's exclusive to this goat farm *

* And I brought you here without a purpose *

* That's wild * I mean, that's great, right? *

-* It's pretty good -* Yeah

* Last thing I remember, I was in the hospital *

* Getting pink gas put into me *

* You can let that out now *

[ Air wheezes ]

* Oooh

* My brother, Judge Bosco *

* This is it

* We've done the kidnapping, stupid idiot *

* Goat

* The human

* Hopefully, the goats won't realize *

* You've been replaced with -- *

* By -- hu-- with you, Steve, the human *

* No one's going to be able to tell the difference *

* 'Cause you're a human, you're not a goat anymore *

* Ha! Did it *

* You're...stupid...goat

MICHOLS: * Just beware of CIA, FBI, and DEA *

* Standing on the barricades

* Tell us what's the latest age *

* None of you has got a clue

* And most don't really care what's true *

* So calm down

* Calm down, calm down

* And come back down from off that cloud *

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