Original subtitles

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Hey.

-Hey. -Please, no. You're not in yet.

-Oh. Oh. Okay. -You come in later.

I'm really enjoying the touch of your hand right now,

but... why are you so shaky?

**

I'm very nervous.

You don't have to be so nervous.

I mean, like, I'm right here holding your hand, babe.

He's not gonna be here.

We can finally run off together to the farm.

**

I know, but he has that big business presentation today,

and it's not a traditional work hour.

He could come home at any moment.

Shh.

I just want to taste your spit one more time.

**

Your lips are so moist.

Hey, babe! I'm home early!

-Uh-oh! -Babe!

Charlene.

Oh, I had such a fortunate chance occurrence

that my boss let me go home early from work.

-Curtis. -God. God, you look sexy.

Curtis.

-Oh. -Steve?

-Oh, my goodness. -What are you doing here?

Charlene.

[ Mumbles ]

I -- Listen -- -Charlene.

-Yeah? -Steve.

-Curtis. -Curtis.

My name is Curtis.

Charlene.

Curtis! It's not how -- how it seems.

-This is not how it seems. -Well, looks -- why --

You guys don't have any clothes on.

Come on. This is just how I normally dress.

You know that. You know I'm a body builder.

I know you do, but you've never come over to

my wife's and my house and taken your clothes off.

It's just that I had a new type of oil

I needed her help to apply and you just weren't around.

No! 'Cause the oil's just around your groin!

I can see it's shiny!

Charlene? I'm -- I'm embracing his culture.

Charlene, look at me!

Steve.

Are you and Steve...

in a relationship behind my back?

Me -- Me Steve.

Curtis. Please.

We have -- We have our differences,

but there's something you need to understand.

Seven months ago, things weren't as they were now.

A lot has changed.

**

I'm...taken aback by what is going on right now.

I'm gonna go out to my car and cry for a minute.

I'll be right back.

[ Door opens, closes ]

Damn it!

Nooooo!

God damn it!

Why? -Steve!

Why does this have to happen to me?

I love her! -Steve!

-And now I'm alone and my bro-- -Steve.

You're -- You're inside. You're not hearing this.

Son of a bitch! -Steve! Steve!

Steve! Steve!

I'm sorry we can't cuck Curtis anymore.

-Dude, you're inside. -I love cucking him with you.

-No, you're inside. -You're inside. Shh.

My life is falling apart!

And I got nothin' left to do, except...

kill my brother?

Do I really need to kill my brother?

No.

No, you're inside. Dude, shut up for a minute.

Shut up. You're inside.

This is my monolo-- my soliloquy.

Do I really need to kill my brother?

**

Yes, I do!

And how I'm gonna do it is with a long knife,

and here it is.

You can hear it.

[ Tapping ] You hear that knife?

I'm gonna jam it right through his heart.

And I'm gonna kill him.

Now, when I get inside, on the count of three,

I'm gonna stab my brother, Steve, in the heart.

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Charlene.

**

Charlene,

I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before.

You're beautiful!

-Steve! Oh. Yes. -But wha--

But what you've done to me, you've betrayed me

and I'm gonna stab my brother in the heart.

Here we go!

Three, two, one! -Curtis, no!

[ Pbbt! ]

-Curtis... -No!

-Yeah. -And then I fall...

Curtis, how could you?

-Yeah. -Shut up for a second, just...

I'm falling on the ground. -Yeah.

Wait. Uh, and then I'm, like, pushing the --

I'm p-- I'm pushing this knife through your heart even harder.

[ Groaning ]

Curtis.

Steve.

Charlene.

No, dude, you just -- you ran out,

'cause it's more about us at this point.

Okay. I-I'm still in the scene, though.

All right, I'm gonna mute you.

I'm bleeding onto this tile floor

that we installed as friends and family one day.

It was a home renovation project

that we were gonna pitch to HGTV.

Time seemed so different back then.

That was back in 2008, when I first moved in to...

the house down the street and you were building this house.

My college roommate was

a production assistant on an HGTV show

and got me the name of a producer,

and I had our friend videotape it on --

right before DSLR cameras became popular and I had a --

[ Farts ]

-Eww, wait, what was that? -I'm dying.

And that was you shitting your pants?

That happens when people are dying.

I feel... so cold right now.

You know what?

I'll turn the heat on, and I'm gonna leave.

And I'll let you die in comfort, at least.

'Cause, actually, these floors are heated,

because that was part of our reno project.

Can I hold your finger?

Uh...yeah.

I know why you have done this, Curtis.

I know why -- I know why you had to,

and I -- if I was in your position,

I might've had to do the same thing.

But here I am...

and I feel so...cold.

Well, I'll tell you one time, Steve.

I don't take kindly to betrayal...

I know. ...and unfortunately, you betrayed me.

Oh, God, are you raising your arm again with the sword?

And now, I'm gonna stab you in each of your eyeballs

for each of the times that you saw my wife's pistachio pie --

naked.

[ Laughs ]

Here's one stab!

And here's the other!

You will never again see her pistachio pie.

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I'll never again see my brother, either --

which they say family is the only thing you've got.

And that sometimes you've gotta give --

you lose when you reach out to another.

I was going to try.

I am gonna let you go. Charlene!

Yes?

Can I -- wait. Hold up.

I have a uteral transplant I did

and Charlene is a trap queen.

I have a confession.

[ Echoing ] Well, I'll be damned.

I -- And I'm gonna say this one --

Wait, I'm gonna say this one more time.

[ Echoing ] Well, I'll be damned.

Curtis!

[ Normal voice ] Charlene, call -- call 911!

Okay, I'm dialing now.

I don't know CPR or anything.

Or do we have BAND-AIDs in the house?

Um, yes.

I have -- I have BAND-AIDs of three different sizes --

small, medium and large. All right, take them in the bathroom.

Take them in the bathroom and talk to Steve. Okay.

While you're doing that,

I'll hang on the phone with the 911 people.

[ Thump ] Okay, Steve,

which size BAND-AID would best heal them?

I think I just need gauze.

Okay.

Wait, wa-iiiit!

Luckily, with the new storage area

we built in this new Redondo-style living area,

we have a whole cabinet hidden in a --

in a very aesthetically-pleasant location,

full of gauze and first-aid materials.

Charlene, can you gauze me up?

Yes!

Is there a key?

You don't even need a key!

There's a little -- It's such a modern thing.

You push in a hidden part of the wood,

which you should be able to feel with your fingers,

and it electronically opens with a magnet!

Oh, my goodness! It's like right out of

one of those sci-fi pictures you love so much.

That's the great thing about modern interior design.

A lot of that stuff is already here.

Curtis! Darlene! I have bad news!

His -- Her name's Charlene!

Curtis and Charlene, I have terrible news.

-Yeah. -Some-- Someone cut our lines.

-Oh...my...God. -I -- 911 cannot be reached.

So, what we have to do is... -Oh, my goodness.

...we have to get into my car.

Man: This 2014 Fiat 500 is made in Italy.

-Can I carry -- -What about the wall?

What about the wall?

Oh! I -- You weren't here.

You were in the other room.

Steve mentioned that he installed a special wall --

Well, yes, of course! Grab the BAND-AIDs, God damn it!

He doesn't want BAND-AIDs. He wants gauze!

Charlene, don't you talk to me like that.

And then I strike you.

Ow!

Oh, my God. What will happen...

Oh, my God! Why did I do that, Charlene? ...to her?

Why did you hit your wife?

I am in a lot of stress right now.

I could only hear it, but assumed it was her face.

Charlene, I am so sorry. Please forgive me.

I'm just under a lot of stress right now.

No! You've been --

You've been physically attacking everybody in your life,

as well as verbally attacking them!

No, I haven't! Then I strike you again.

Charlene! Do not make me hit you a third time.

Get out! Now, please get the BAND-AIDs out of the boudoir.

[ Eerie music plays ]

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Stay tuned next time on "Tender Touches."

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Michols: * And the rumors are

* She came home last night not alone *

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* If the word is true, she's onto you *

* It's revenge

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* And the wisdom he's to learn

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