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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,200 [seagull squawks] 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:07,100 - DUDE, PUBE CITY COME ALIVE! 3 00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:09,230 WHAT ONCE WAS A ONE-HAIR TOWN, HAS BLOSSOMED 4 00:00:09,233 --> 00:00:12,103 INTO A BUSTLING CURLY METROPOLIS. 5 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,330 - I'M STILL MAYOR OF PEACHFUZZ VILLAGE. 6 00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:15,933 NOT EVEN A CHEST HAIR, NOTHING! 7 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:18,433 I MEAN, I'M ALMOST 16. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? 8 00:00:18,433 --> 00:00:20,403 - AH, NO WORRIES, BRO-- IT'LL ALL HAPPEN. 9 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,800 - I THINK IT'S GENETIC. 10 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,570 I SAW MY MOM NAKED, AND SHE'S COMPLETELY HAIRLESS. 11 00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:26,397 [pop] 12 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,400 [pop rock music] 13 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:37,330 * * 14 00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:52,503 [school bell rings] 15 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:57,400 [laughter] 16 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,500 - THE NEW KID JUST ATE MY DUCK BUTTER! 17 00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:00,800 [laughter] 18 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,530 - I FINALLY FOUND A BUTTER I DIDN'T LIKE. 19 00:01:03,533 --> 00:01:05,073 WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS? 20 00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:07,627 TURK GETS JEENA, AND I GET A BUTT-CAKE. 21 00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:09,233 - HUSH UP, YOU LITTLE SEX-OFFENDERS. 22 00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:12,233 TODAY I'LL BE TEACHING THE HISTORY OF THE BREAST. 23 00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:13,373 both: HUH? 24 00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:15,267 - KIDS, PUT ON YOUR 3-D GLASSES. 25 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:16,767 [light clicks] 26 00:01:16,767 --> 00:01:18,067 HERE WE HAVE 27 00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:19,897 A PERFECT SET OF 18-YEAR-OLD BREASTS. 28 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,930 [kisses, gasps, moans] 29 00:01:22,933 --> 00:01:25,073 - [rhythmic grunting] 30 00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:26,427 - BUT IF WE GO BACK INTO TIMES, 31 00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:28,903 BREASTS WEREN'T ALWAYS THAT PLUMP AND HAIRLESS. 32 00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,630 [revolted shouts] 33 00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:33,503 - OH, YES! SO PRIMAL! 34 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,300 - PRIOR TO MODERN SCIENCE, THERE WERE MANY OUTLANDISH MYTHS 35 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:38,070 ABOUT THE ORIGIN OF THE BREAST. 36 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:40,797 THERE WAS THE THEORY OF A SINGLE-BOOB ORGANISM 37 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:45,070 THAT FIRST CRAWLED UP THROUGH THE PRIMORDIAL OOZES. 38 00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:46,497 - [grunts] 39 00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,700 - THEN THERE'S THE MORE CREATIONIST THEORY. 40 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,630 - PROCREATE! 41 00:01:50,633 --> 00:01:53,203 - [yawns] 42 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,370 [thunderclap, popping] 43 00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:56,867 MMM! LET'S DO THIS. 44 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,427 - AND THE ANCIENT BOOBANESIANS, 45 00:01:58,433 --> 00:02:01,303 ANCESTORS TO THE MODERN-DAY BREASTAFARIANS. 46 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,930 THEY BELIEVED IN AN ALL-POWERFUL FERTILITY GODDESS 47 00:02:03,933 --> 00:02:05,933 BY THE NAME OF JUGGALOA. 48 00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:10,933 - ALL HAIL JUGGALOA. 49 00:02:10,933 --> 00:02:12,473 - TODAY, WE KNOW, OF COURSE, 50 00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:14,797 THAT FEMALES EVOLVED BREASTS TO PROVIDE SUSTENANCE 51 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:15,930 TO THEIR OFFSPRING, 52 00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:17,873 AND TO MOTIVATE CHEAP MEN TO BUY DRINKS. 53 00:02:17,867 --> 00:02:19,897 BUT THE BREAST IS NOT ALL TITS AND JIGGLES. 54 00:02:19,900 --> 00:02:21,970 IT CAN ALSO BE A BREEDING GROUND FOR DISEASE. 55 00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:23,627 [radio plays tranquil music] 56 00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:25,803 I'M A BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR. 57 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,530 BUT THANKS TO EARLY DETECTION FROM A MAMMOGRAM, 58 00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:30,233 I HAD A DOUBLE LUMPECTOMY, 59 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,473 WHERE THEY REMOVED ONLY THE CANCEROUS LUMPS. 60 00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:34,467 HERE THEY ARE. [all gasp] 61 00:02:34,467 --> 00:02:36,067 - OH, MY GOD! - [clears throat] 62 00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:37,727 AS PART OF BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH, 63 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:39,933 I'VE ARRANGED FOR A MAMMOGRAM TRUCK TO BE PARKED 64 00:02:39,933 --> 00:02:40,933 IN FRONT OF THE PIER, AND WE'RE LOOKING 65 00:02:40,933 --> 00:02:42,303 FOR STUDENT VOLUNTEERS. 66 00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,600 A NURSE WILL BE CONDUCTING FREE BREAST EXAMS TODAY, 67 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,170 BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 4:00 AND 7:00. 68 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,367 - AND I'LL BE CONDUCTING FREE VAGINA EXAMS 69 00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:51,297 WITH MY PENIS, BETWEEN THE INCHES OF SIX AND NINE. 70 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:52,570 [snickers] 71 00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:53,827 - UH, DO I NEED A MAMMOGRAM? 72 00:02:53,833 --> 00:02:55,773 I GOT THESE IN BEVERLY HILLS, 73 00:02:55,767 --> 00:02:57,597 AND I DOUBT THEY HAVE CANCER THERE. 74 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,500 - YOU'RE NEVER TOO YOUNG TO GET A BREAST EXAM. 75 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,270 JUST FEEL ON YOUR TITS-- IT'S REALLY SIMPLE. 76 00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:03,327 YOU FEEL FOR LUMPS, BUMPS AND CAMEL HUMPS. 77 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:04,403 OH, CRUD! 78 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:05,730 OH, FALSE ALARM. 79 00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:07,073 JUST A CRANBERRY SCONE. 80 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:08,497 [school bell rings] 81 00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:12,070 - MONDO, YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 82 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,567 [techno music plays, distant crowd cheers] 83 00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:17,167 - [sighs] WHO EVER WILL EXAMINE 84 00:03:17,167 --> 00:03:19,767 ALL THESE BREASTS? 85 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,667 * * 86 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,527 - NEXT UP TO BE EXAMINED, 87 00:03:24,533 --> 00:03:25,803 GIVE IT UP FOR... 88 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,770 SINNAMON AND DESTINI! 89 00:03:29,767 --> 00:03:31,527 - WE'VE GOT TO GET IN THAT TRUCK. 90 00:03:31,533 --> 00:03:32,933 - JEENA, WAIT UP! 91 00:03:32,933 --> 00:03:34,273 - OH, HEY, MONDO. 92 00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:36,367 - UH, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I REALLY ADMIRE 93 00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:37,827 WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR BREAST AWARENESS. 94 00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:39,733 YOUR BREASTS HAVE CERTAINLY RAISED MY AWARENESS. 95 00:03:39,733 --> 00:03:41,803 I MEAN, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AWARE OF BREASTS 96 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,970 EVEN BEFORE I MET YOUR BREASTS, 97 00:03:42,967 --> 00:03:44,697 THOUGH YOU DO HAVE THE BREAST BREASTS-- 98 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,600 I MEAN BEST BREASTS. 99 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,370 I MEANT TO SAY THAT YOU ARE THE BEST. 100 00:03:48,367 --> 00:03:50,667 CAN WOODIE AND I VOLUNTEER FOR THE TRUCK? 101 00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:52,067 - [giggles] 102 00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:54,397 THANKS, MONDO, BUT IT WOULDN'T BE APPROPRIATE 103 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,470 FOR GUYS TO BE THERE. 104 00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:56,627 SEE YOU LATER. 105 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:57,633 - I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 106 00:03:57,633 --> 00:03:58,873 MY PENIS IS PREVENTING ME 107 00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:00,797 FROM DOING THINGS MY PENIS WANTS TO DO. 108 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,970 - YOU'RE RIGHT. 109 00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:03,067 IF WE'RE GOING TO SEE THOSE BOOBS, 110 00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:04,797 THESE PENISES ARE GOING TO HAVE TO GO. 111 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,600 - YEAH! WHAT? 112 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,530 - [scatting] 113 00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:10,703 [slowly inhales] 114 00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,270 [exhales] 115 00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:13,327 - HEY, LONNIE, WHAT'S SHAKING? 116 00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,503 - GETTING THE GUEST ROOM READY. 117 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:18,670 MY OLD BUDDY RONNIE IS COMING TO SURF CYPRESS HILL. 118 00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:20,867 [chuckles] WE DO IT EVERY YEAR. 119 00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:23,427 UH, EXCEPT FOR ALL THOSE YEARS WE FORGOT. 120 00:04:23,433 --> 00:04:25,703 HERE WE ARE AT A GRATEFUL DEAD SHOW. 121 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,870 - LONNIE, LOOK AT YOU. WOW! HMM. 122 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:29,927 - YEAH, TIME HASN'T TOUCHED ME. 123 00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:32,373 MAN, RONNIE AND I HAVE HAD SOME GOOD TIMES. 124 00:04:32,367 --> 00:04:35,097 - * YOU'RE THE BEST FRIEND THAT I EVER HAD * 125 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,170 - [laughs] 126 00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:37,927 [rapid gunfire] 127 00:04:37,933 --> 00:04:39,973 [laughs] 128 00:04:39,967 --> 00:04:41,897 [crowd gasps] 129 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:44,170 [coughs, laughs] 130 00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:45,797 - OH, MY MOTHER TOOK ME TO THAT SHOW! 131 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,070 BUT, YEAH, WE GOT OUR MONEY BACK 132 00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:49,067 BECAUSE MR. MISTOFFELEES BROKE HIS NECK. 133 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,967 - BOMBDIGGITY! 134 00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:52,097 FOGHAT! 135 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:53,700 I WAS SAVING THAT FOR LATER! 136 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:54,870 - [slurping] 137 00:04:54,867 --> 00:04:56,297 [both slurp] 138 00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:57,670 - OKAY, I'M GOING TO GET GOING NOW. 139 00:04:57,667 --> 00:04:59,397 YOU GUYS ENJOY YOUR LUNCH. 140 00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:03,803 - ARE YOU SURE THIS IS GONNA WORK? 141 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:04,800 - DUDE, I'M TELLING YOU, 142 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:05,970 IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN. 143 00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:08,597 WE DISGUISE OURSELVES AS WOMEN, VOLUNTEER, 144 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,200 AND WE'RE BACKSTAGE AT BOOBAPALOOZA. 145 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,430 - HEY, LOOK! 146 00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:14,403 - DUDE, WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO SPANK IT. 147 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,330 - NO, MAN, THERE'S WORDS IN HERE. 148 00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:18,603 WORDS WE CAN USE. 149 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,770 [sighs] 150 00:05:19,767 --> 00:05:21,067 - I GUESS WE DID HAVE TIME TO SPANK IT. 151 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:22,367 - NOW WE CAN FOCUS. 152 00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:26,097 - * NA, NA, DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY * 153 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,570 * NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER... * 154 00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:31,897 * OR WHO YOU GONNA LOVE BY YOUR LOVER * 155 00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:33,100 [both scream] 156 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,600 both: MMM, MM-MM. 157 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,930 - * LOVE IN DISGUISE * 158 00:05:36,933 --> 00:05:38,933 * SHE HAS THE BODY OF A VENUS * 159 00:05:38,933 --> 00:05:40,933 * LORD, IMAGINE MY SURPRISE * 160 00:05:40,933 --> 00:05:45,203 * NA, NA, DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY * 161 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,500 * NA, NA, DUDE * [needle screeches over LP] 162 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,670 - UH-OH. 163 00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:51,367 [air-brush blasts] 164 00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:52,567 - BOMBDIGGITY! 165 00:05:52,567 --> 00:05:55,197 THIS MUST BE MY PROACTIV STARTER KIT. 166 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,730 IT'S THREE SIMPLE STEPS TO SKIN LIKE KATY PERRY. 167 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,303 MUSKOGEE, OKLAHOMA? 168 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:04,070 LOOKS LIKE WE GOT SOMETHING FROM RONNIE! 169 00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:05,227 AN URN? 170 00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:06,603 ASHES? 171 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,400 "THIS IS YOUR BUD RONNIE." 172 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,670 OH, MY GOD! 173 00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:11,627 RONNIE! NO! 174 00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:14,673 WHY? [sobs] 175 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,070 [both grunt] 176 00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,067 - HEY, LESBIANS! 177 00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:23,067 LOOK! 178 00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:24,667 "JAM OUT WITH YOUR CLAM OUT." 179 00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:27,497 CLAM METAPHOR FOR VAGINA-- VERY HUMOROUS. 180 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,130 - [grunts] THESE HEELS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME. 181 00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:32,073 - I THINK I JUST FLOSSED MY BUNGUS. 182 00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:33,727 I CAN'T BELIEVE WOMEN DRESS LIKE THIS. 183 00:06:33,733 --> 00:06:36,633 - I KNOW. SO MUCH WAXING AND PLUCKING. 184 00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:38,603 - GIRLS CARE ABOUT THE WEIRDEST THINGS. 185 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,670 - TOTALLY. 186 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,267 CAN YOU SEE MY CAMEL TOE? 187 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:44,167 - GET YOUR FREE MAMMIES AND BREAST EXAMMIES RIGHT HERE! 188 00:06:44,167 --> 00:06:45,167 STEP ON UP! 189 00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:46,927 BIG OR SMALL, SAVE THEM ALL! 190 00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:48,133 HEY, LADIES, ARE YOU HERE 191 00:06:48,133 --> 00:06:50,073 FOR A FREE MAMMOGRAM OR BREAST EXAM? 192 00:06:50,067 --> 00:06:51,097 - NO, WE'RE GOOD. 193 00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:52,300 - BUT WE'RE TOTALLY INTERESTED 194 00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:53,570 IN VOLUNTEERING. 195 00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:54,727 - OH, AWESOME. 196 00:06:54,733 --> 00:06:56,603 WE'RE EXPECTING A HUGE TURNOUT, 197 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,670 AND COULD TOTALLY USE SOME EXTRA HANDS. 198 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,370 WE'VE GOT A COUPLE OF VOLUNTEERS. 199 00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:04,427 - HELLO! 200 00:07:04,433 --> 00:07:06,233 I'M NURSE NACHAMA FINGERMAN, 201 00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:07,873 OF THE TEL AVIV FINGERMANS. 202 00:07:07,867 --> 00:07:09,067 - I'M SCARLETT, 203 00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:11,967 AND THIS IS...SNACKI. 204 00:07:11,967 --> 00:07:14,597 - OKAY, LET'S BLAST SOME LUMPS. 205 00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:19,573 - NOT MY FIRST CHOICE, BUT I'LL TAKE IT. 206 00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:22,097 - WOULD ONE OF YOU MIND HOLDING THE BABIES WHILE I PUMP? 207 00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:24,700 - UM, OKAY. 208 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:26,830 - SHE HAS TO DRAIN HER BREASTS OF MILK 209 00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:28,773 SO WE CAN GIVE HER AN ACCURATE EXAM. 210 00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:29,827 - GROSS! 211 00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:32,073 I MEAN, BEAUTIFUL. VERY NATURAL. 212 00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:34,767 [both coo] 213 00:07:34,767 --> 00:07:36,097 - OW! 214 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:39,300 - AW, CUERVO AND PATRON LIKE YOUSE. 215 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:42,300 [both grunt] 216 00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:43,700 - EVERYTHING FELT GREAT. 217 00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:46,470 BREAST OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOURS. 218 00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:47,797 - WELL, I'M BUMMED TOO, BUDDY, 219 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,400 BUT THE NEXT SET WILL BE GREAT. 220 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,370 I KNOW IT. 221 00:07:50,367 --> 00:07:52,067 - IT'S NOT THAT. 222 00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,727 [sniffles] I MISS THOSE LITTLE BAMBINOS. 223 00:07:54,733 --> 00:07:57,073 - RONNIE, RONNIE, RONNIE. 224 00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,167 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE GONE, MAN. 225 00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:01,767 [sniffles] NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 226 00:08:01,767 --> 00:08:04,727 I'M NOT GOING TO LET A LITTLE THING LIKE YOU DYING 227 00:08:04,733 --> 00:08:07,273 GET IN THE WAY OF OUR LAST WEEKEND EVER! 228 00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:09,827 - * WE HAD SOME GOOD DAYS * 229 00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:12,533 * WE HAD SOME BAD TIMES * 230 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:17,103 * BUT NOTHING REALLY MATTERS NOW AS LONG AS WE'RE TOGETHER * 231 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:19,900 - HEY, EVERYBODY, THIS IS TANG. 232 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,070 - 0 FOR 2. 233 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,927 - THE CHANGING AREA IS-- OH, MY GOD! 234 00:08:23,933 --> 00:08:25,203 - UH-OH. 235 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,070 - YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE YOUR DRESS OFF, TANG. 236 00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:28,397 - WHAT'S DONE IS DONE. 237 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,130 - UGH, HER BOOBS LOOK LIKE TUBE SOCKS 238 00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:32,703 FILLED WITH GROUND BEEF. 239 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:35,130 - HER BUTT LOOKS LIKE DIRTY WAFFLES. 240 00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:37,203 - ALOHA, DARLINGS. 241 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,700 [both panting] 242 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:41,500 - DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT ALL PRETTY FOR NOTHING. 243 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:43,300 - YOU'LL FEEL BETTER AFTER WE EAT. 244 00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:45,200 WE HAVE TO HANG ON! 245 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,300 - OH, FACE IT, BRO, MAYBE REAL-LIFE BOOBS 246 00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:49,900 ARE NEVER GOING TO BE AS AWESOME 247 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:51,900 AS THE ONES WE SEE IN MAGAZINES. 248 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,970 [techno music plays, stops] 249 00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,830 - [moaning] 250 00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:01,333 - HAY QUE LINDA! 251 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:04,703 - ALL HAIL JUGGALOA. 252 00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:05,700 CHECK IT OUT! 253 00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:07,270 IT'S A MIRACLE! 254 00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:10,097 OUR QUEST FOR BREASTS HAS BEEN BLESSED! 255 00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,770 - WE GOTTA GET BACK IN THERE! 256 00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:13,727 - * BIM, BOM * 257 00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:15,473 - WHERE ARE ALL THE GIRLS? 258 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,097 - OH, YE OF LITTLE FAITH. 259 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:19,170 [knocking] TOLD YOU. 260 00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:22,427 - GIVE ME A CARNE ASADA BURRITO, POR FAVOR. 261 00:09:22,433 --> 00:09:25,073 - THE TOOL THINKS THIS IS A TACO TRUCK. 262 00:09:25,067 --> 00:09:26,927 [laughs] SHOULD I TELL HIM? 263 00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,503 - AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S DONE TO YOU? 264 00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:32,603 - YOU JUST DRANK MY SNOT ROCKET. 265 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,830 [laughter] 266 00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:35,073 - [yawns] - [flatulence] 267 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:36,767 YOU JUST ATE MY FART. 268 00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:38,667 [laughter] 269 00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:40,067 - [muffled groan] 270 00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:41,797 - YOU JUST GOT TEA-BAGGED. [laughter] 271 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,530 - ENGLISH BREAKFAST? 272 00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:45,373 I'LL BE UP ALL NIGHT! 273 00:09:48,267 --> 00:09:49,897 [with Spanish accent] HERE YOU GO, SENOR. 274 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:52,270 EXTRA SOUR CREAMS. 275 00:09:52,267 --> 00:09:53,927 - [gulps] MMM, YEAH. 276 00:09:53,933 --> 00:09:55,533 JUST LIKE MY MOM USED TO MAKE. 277 00:09:55,533 --> 00:09:56,703 - YES! 278 00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:58,530 - DOES ONE OF YOU WANT TO HELP ME DISINFECT 279 00:09:58,533 --> 00:09:59,803 THE MAMMA-TRON 3,000? 280 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,330 - GO FOR IT, DUDE! 281 00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:05,933 - YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'VE EVER SEEN. 282 00:10:05,933 --> 00:10:09,433 I MEAN, NEXT TO ME, SWEET CHEEKS. 283 00:10:09,433 --> 00:10:11,773 YOU'RE HOT, BUT YOU AIN'T GOT THE SNACKI CAKES. 284 00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:13,227 [laughter] 285 00:10:13,233 --> 00:10:15,573 - THANKS FOR THE VERY ODD COMPLIMENT. 286 00:10:15,567 --> 00:10:17,927 - SO...YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? 287 00:10:17,933 --> 00:10:19,533 - YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS. 288 00:10:19,533 --> 00:10:20,803 - THAT'S AWESOME! 289 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,300 I MEAN THAT YOU'RE KEEPING YOUR OPTIONS OPEN, 290 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:26,570 LIKE, FOR SHORT GUYS, GUYS FROM OUT OF STATE, 291 00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:29,297 GUYS WHO SWIM IN T-SHIRTS, AND THE LIKE. 292 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,370 - YEAH, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ONE. 293 00:10:31,367 --> 00:10:33,827 I MEAN, HE CAN TOTALLY BE AN ASS. 294 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:37,103 BUT WHEN WE'RE ALONE, HE DOES THESE CRAZY THINGS 295 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,970 THAT ARE ACTUALLY KIND OF ROMANTIC, 296 00:10:38,967 --> 00:10:40,327 AND MAKE ME LAUGH. 297 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:43,773 CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO HE SENT ME. 298 00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:45,567 - YOU LOVE ME, BABE. 299 00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:47,797 - HUH! IRRESISTIBLE! 300 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,100 BUT YOU SHOULD HOLD OUT FOR A GUY WHO'LL PEE 301 00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:51,530 "I HEART YOU." 302 00:10:51,533 --> 00:10:52,873 OR NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, 303 00:10:52,867 --> 00:10:55,297 A VIDEO WITHOUT URINE IN IT AT ALL. 304 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:56,500 - SNACKI! 305 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:58,930 - UH, WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME ONE LITTLE MOMENT? 306 00:10:58,933 --> 00:11:00,173 [grunts] 307 00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:01,567 - WHERE IS SHE? - WHERE'S WHO? 308 00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:02,727 - OH, NO. 309 00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:04,603 DUDE, YOU GAVE TURK THE SACRED TORTILLA! 310 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,700 JUGGALOA WILL CURSE US FOR SURE! 311 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,170 - COME ON, YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT, DO YOU? 312 00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:10,397 - I HAVE TO SAY, JEENA, 313 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,570 THOSE WERE THE HEALTHIEST, MOST SUPPLE BOSOMS 314 00:11:12,567 --> 00:11:15,167 I'VE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF EXAMINING. 315 00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:17,067 - NO! 316 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,897 JUGGALOA! 317 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:21,670 WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME? 318 00:11:21,667 --> 00:11:25,597 I MEAN, HIGH-FIVE, GIRLFRIEND. 319 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:30,900 - UH, IT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR ANGERING THE GODS. 320 00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:32,370 OH, NO! 321 00:11:32,367 --> 00:11:33,767 - OH, YES. 322 00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:36,067 I'M GOING TO SEE YOUR SISTER'S RACK OF LAMB. 323 00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:37,567 - OVER MY DEAD BODY! 324 00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:39,927 - WOULD IT BE EASIER IF I TOOK MY IMPLANTS OUT? 325 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,073 I HAD ZIPPERS PUT IN, 326 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,967 SO I CAN SWAP OUT DIFFERENT SIZES. 327 00:11:42,967 --> 00:11:44,097 [zipper rasps] 328 00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,930 THESE ARE MY 34Bs. 329 00:11:45,933 --> 00:11:47,603 MY GO-TO SIZE IS DDs, 330 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,300 BUT I'M GOING TRAMPOLINING LATER, 331 00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,430 AND THE BIG GUNS GIVE ME BLACK EYES. 332 00:11:51,433 --> 00:11:52,733 - COME ON, MAN! 333 00:11:52,733 --> 00:11:54,573 AT LEAST LET ME SEE THE IMPLANT. 334 00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:55,797 - NO WAY! 335 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,700 IT'S A VIOLATION OF BUDDY RULE NUMBER ONE-- 336 00:11:57,700 --> 00:11:59,770 "NO OGLING OF, OR SPANKING IT TO 337 00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:01,567 YOUR BEST FRIEND'S FAMILY MEMBERS." 338 00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:03,267 - HI, IS THERE ROOM FOR ME, LADIES? 339 00:12:03,267 --> 00:12:05,097 [gasps] [tape ripping] 340 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,930 - COME ON IN. THE MORE THE MERRIER. 341 00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:09,573 - WHAT HAPPENED TO BUDDY RULE NUMBER ONE? 342 00:12:09,567 --> 00:12:11,327 - MOVEMENT TO AMEND RULE NUMBER ONE. 343 00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:12,533 - MOVEMENT DENIED. - [screams] 344 00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:14,503 - YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF. 345 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,100 [both grunting] 346 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:19,100 OOH! WHAT FULSOME BOSOMS! 347 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,670 - I'M SO LUCKY THEY'VE HELD UP. 348 00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:22,897 MY SON MONDO NURSED TILL HE WAS FIVE. 349 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:24,730 ALMOST RUINED MY NIPS. 350 00:12:24,733 --> 00:12:25,773 HE SUCKED SO HARD, 351 00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,367 THEY LOOKED LIKE CHEWED BUBBLE GUM 352 00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:28,397 STUCK TO A BALLOON. 353 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,800 - UGH. 354 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,730 - ALL RIGHT, EVERYTHING LOOKS PEACHY. 355 00:12:33,267 --> 00:12:34,827 - GIVE IT UP, MAN. 356 00:12:34,833 --> 00:12:37,073 - I GUESS QUEEN JUGGALOA HAS DONE HER WORST. 357 00:12:37,067 --> 00:12:39,597 [booming footsteps] 358 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:44,630 - IT'S SO ROCKIN' IN HERE, 359 00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:46,733 YOU'D THINK CARRIE UNDERWOOD WAS PERFORMING. 360 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:47,903 UH, HELLO, BABSTER. 361 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,670 CHECK IT-- WE HAVE THE SAME BRAS. 362 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:50,897 SHAZAM! 363 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,670 - WE'RE BEING PUNISHED. 364 00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:54,327 both: WHOA! 365 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:57,173 - HELLO, GENTLEMEN. both: WADSKA? 366 00:12:57,167 --> 00:13:00,097 - I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE SOME HOOTERS! 367 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,270 - OH, DARN IT! 368 00:13:01,267 --> 00:13:03,097 DOES ANYBODY HAVE AN EXTRA MAXI PAD? 369 00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,430 I FORGET OT PUT ONE IN MY FANNY PACK THIS MORNING. 370 00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:06,733 - OH, I'M MENSTRUATING TOO. 371 00:13:06,733 --> 00:13:08,103 I CAN LOAN YOU A TAMPY. 372 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:10,100 BUT I ONLY HAVE THE KIND YOU INSERT WITH YOUR FINGER, 373 00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:11,870 TO REDUCE YOUR CARBON FOOTPRINT. 374 00:13:11,867 --> 00:13:13,497 IT'S NOT RIGHT TO LEAVE THOSE PLASTIC APPLICATORS AROUND 375 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,700 FOR OUR CHILDREN. 376 00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:17,700 - I'VE BEEN GIVING THE NEW SPORTS TAMPONS A WHIRL, 377 00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:21,070 BUT I DON'T HAVE AN EXTRA, SORRY. 378 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,897 - OH, TAMPONS ARE A NO-GO. 379 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:24,970 I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING GOING INSIDE ME 380 00:13:24,967 --> 00:13:26,327 SINCE MORTY DIED. 381 00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:27,773 WH--WHAT DO YOU GIRLS USE? 382 00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:30,797 - UH, YOU KNOW, I JUST ROLL UP SOME NEWSPAPER. 383 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,270 - UH, OLD PIZZA CRUST FOR ME. 384 00:13:33,267 --> 00:13:35,397 - [loud flatulence] 385 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,430 OOPS, SORRY, I BLARTED. 386 00:13:37,433 --> 00:13:39,933 I GET THE WORST GAS WHEN FLO-RIDA'S IN THE HEEZY. 387 00:13:39,933 --> 00:13:41,173 CAN I GET A "WOO, WOO"? 388 00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:42,567 - I HEAR YA, SISTER. 389 00:13:42,567 --> 00:13:44,067 - THIS TRUCK SUCKS. 390 00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:45,727 I'M OUTIE. 391 00:13:45,733 --> 00:13:51,073 - [in slow motion] OH, NO! 392 00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:53,827 - DUDE, WE SHOULD HAVE BAILED AFTER THE "BLART." 393 00:13:56,533 --> 00:13:57,673 - WELL, OLD FRIEND... [sniffles] 394 00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:59,767 WE ALWAYS SAID THAT IF ONE OF US 395 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,867 WERE TO BREAK ON THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE, 396 00:14:01,867 --> 00:14:05,627 THE OTHER WOULD MAKE SURE HE WENT OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY. 397 00:14:09,467 --> 00:14:11,327 [strong inhale] 398 00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:12,973 - HEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA. 399 00:14:12,967 --> 00:14:15,927 LET'S NOT VOLUNTEER FOR THE PAP SMEAR BUS. 400 00:14:15,933 --> 00:14:17,533 - THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. 401 00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:19,103 - LET'S STICK TO WATCHING BOOBS 402 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:22,200 IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT-- THE INTERNET. 403 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,900 UH-OH. UH-OH. 404 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,330 OH--OH, NO! 405 00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:27,073 - WHAT? - I'VE... 406 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,697 GOT A LUMP! 407 00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,400 I CAN'T BELIEVE THE TRUCK IS GONE! 408 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,070 THIS IS A NIGHTMARE! 409 00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,527 - YOU'VE GOT TO CHILL. 410 00:14:33,533 --> 00:14:35,573 I TOOK ONE OF THESE BROCHURES. 411 00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:39,067 - DUDE, WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO SPANK IT. 412 00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:40,827 - NO, MAN, THERE'S WORDS IN HERE-- 413 00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:42,773 WORDS WE CAN USE. 414 00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:45,397 - [sighs] I GUESS WE DID HAVE TIME TO SPANK IT. 415 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,070 - NOW WE CAN FOCUS. 416 00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:49,397 OKAY, DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS: 417 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,130 "REDNESS, SWELLING, 418 00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:53,273 SKIN DIMPLING OR PUCKERING, AND DISCHARGE?" 419 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,797 - FROM WHERE? - IT DOESN'T SAY. 420 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,100 - THEN YES! 421 00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:57,530 MM-HMM, UH-HUH, UH-HUH. 422 00:14:57,533 --> 00:15:00,733 WELL, IT COULD EITHER BE A MOSQUITO BITE OR... 423 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,273 STAGE FOUR CANCER! [gasps] 424 00:15:03,267 --> 00:15:05,927 OH, MY GOD! I'M GOING TO DIE! 425 00:15:05,933 --> 00:15:08,733 OR WORSE, I CAN LOSE A MOOB! 426 00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:11,833 WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I ONLY HAVE ONE BOOBIE? 427 00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,073 - CALM DOWN, MAN. 428 00:15:13,067 --> 00:15:15,697 I KNOW ONE THING THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. 429 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:16,870 [bubbling] 430 00:15:16,867 --> 00:15:18,267 - ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOU HAVE 431 00:15:18,267 --> 00:15:19,767 TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. 432 00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:22,327 CHERISH EACH MOMENT LIKE IT'S YOUR LAST. 433 00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:24,433 RONNIE EVEN HAD A BUCKET LIST. 434 00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:26,103 "STAY UP ALL NIGHT. 435 00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,870 "TRANSFER OLD ALBUMS TO CASSETTE TAPE. 436 00:15:28,867 --> 00:15:32,127 LIVE FOREVER." [sobs] 437 00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:34,173 HE'D HAVE DONE IT TOO, IF HE HADN'T DIED. 438 00:15:35,633 --> 00:15:38,403 - LONNIE'S STONE-COLD CRAZY. 439 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,070 - BUT HE'S ALSO STONE-COLD RIGHT. 440 00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:42,927 I MEAN, I STILL THINK YOU'RE GONNA SURVIVE, 441 00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:46,833 BUT IT DOES MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT'S IMPORTANT. 442 00:15:46,833 --> 00:15:49,073 - * THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN * 443 00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:52,097 * LIVING A LIE, AND FEELING ALIVE * 444 00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:54,570 * THERE ARE TIMES THAT I'VE BEEN * 445 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:57,767 * LISTENING TO THE SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE... * 446 00:15:57,767 --> 00:15:59,467 - [imitating plane engine] 447 00:15:59,467 --> 00:16:02,267 - [laughing] 448 00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:05,097 - AND I WANTED TO SAY THAT FROM THE FIRST TIME WE MET. 449 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:10,570 WE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT. 450 00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:12,897 THAT ONE'S FOR RONNIE. 451 00:16:16,867 --> 00:16:18,497 [keys clicking] 452 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,700 - UGH. 453 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,627 MMM. 454 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,573 - ACTION! - DEAR JEENA-- 455 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,097 - CUT! I DON'T BELIEVE A WORD YOU'RE SAYING. 456 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,200 - SHUT UP! 457 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,600 [sighs] DEER JEENA, 458 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,070 I AM SICK. 459 00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:31,127 - TELL HER IT'S NOT AIDS. 460 00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:32,773 - I GOT THIS! 461 00:16:32,767 --> 00:16:34,067 IT'S NOT AIDS. 462 00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:35,397 JEENA, SHOULD THE WORST HAPPEN, 463 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,600 I WANT TO TELL YOU, YOU'RE SO COOL! 464 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,670 AND I LIKE YOU, I MEAN, LIKE-LIKE YOU-- 465 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,897 AS IN A 2 1/2-YEAR RELATIONSHIP IN HIGH SCHOOL, 466 00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,200 THEN WE REEVALUATE THINGS AFTER GRADUATION, 467 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,200 AND THAT FIRST THANKSGIVING HOME FROM COLLEGE 468 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,300 IS KIND OF WEIRD, BUT THEN WE REKINDLE, 469 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,530 AND IT'S EVEN STRONGER THAN BEFORE. 470 00:16:51,533 --> 00:16:53,873 THATKIND OF LIKE. 471 00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:56,267 I KNOW YOU LIKE CRAZY, ROMANTIC VIDEOS. 472 00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:58,927 SO I COME TO YOU IN DANCE. 473 00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:01,103 [imitating echo-effect] DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, 474 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:02,930 DANCE, DANCE, DANCE. 475 00:17:02,933 --> 00:17:05,933 [R&B music] 476 00:17:05,933 --> 00:17:10,933 [rhythmic grunting] 477 00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:15,603 AND I WANTED TO SAY THAT FROM THE FIRST TIME WE MET. 478 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,070 - [chanting] HEAL-A-CHI-CHI, JUGGALOA! 479 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:19,497 BYE-BYE-LUMPY, JUGGALOA! 480 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:20,630 - MONDO. - JEENA! 481 00:17:20,633 --> 00:17:21,633 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 482 00:17:21,633 --> 00:17:23,503 - GUYS, SOME PRIVACY, PLEASE? 483 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,400 - OKAY, BUT SOMEBODY'S PAYING ME BACK 484 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,170 FOR THESE LEECHES. 485 00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:28,267 - ARE YOU OKAY? 486 00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:30,167 I SAW YOUR VIDEO WITH THE OTTOMAN. 487 00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:31,197 IS IT SERIOUS? 488 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,570 - VERY SERIOUS. 489 00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:34,067 I MEAN, THE DISEASE IS SERIOUS, 490 00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:35,697 BUT THE OTTOMAN SEX IS JUST CASUAL. 491 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,070 NOT THAT I HAVE CASUAL SEX. 492 00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:38,097 UNLESS YOUWANT TO. 493 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,500 BUT THEN IT WOULDN'T BE CASUAL, 494 00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,070 IT WOULD BE MEANINGFUL. 495 00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:43,127 I MIGHT HAVE CANCER. 496 00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:44,533 - OH, MONDO! 497 00:17:44,533 --> 00:17:46,633 - I LOVE YOU TOO. 498 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:49,073 - UGH. IT SMELLS LIKE THE DALAI LAMA 499 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,227 TOOK A DUMP OUT HERE. 500 00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:52,403 THERE YOU ARE, MY LITTLE TATER TOT. 501 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,530 WHOOP, SORRY. 502 00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:55,133 I DIDN'T MEAN TO MOM-BLOCK. 503 00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:56,533 - I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 504 00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,303 [sighs] I THINK I'VE FOUND... 505 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,530 SOME BREAST CANCER. 506 00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:01,633 - WHAT? WHERE? WHERE? 507 00:18:01,633 --> 00:18:04,273 SHOW ME. 508 00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:05,767 WHOOP. THERE WE GO. 509 00:18:05,767 --> 00:18:07,767 SEE? IT'S JUST AN INGROWN HAIR. 510 00:18:07,767 --> 00:18:09,297 CONGRATULATIONS, SWEETIE. 511 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:12,100 YOU GOT THE FIRST THREAD IN YOUR MAN-SWEATER. 512 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,670 WHAT MADE YOU THINK YOU HAD BREAST CANCER? 513 00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:16,167 - WELL, I GOT A PAMPHLET FROM NURSE FINGERMAN. 514 00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:17,667 LET ME BACK UP. 515 00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:19,467 WOODIE AND I DRESSED UP IN YOUR CLOTHES 516 00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:21,167 TO VOLUNTEER AT THE MAMMOGRAM TRUCK. 517 00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,897 WELL, LET ME BACK UP FURTHER. 518 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,370 IT'S NO SECRET THAT I LIKE BOOBS. 519 00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:28,167 - I WONDERED WHY THERE WAS DUCT TAPE ON MY PANTY HOSE. 520 00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:29,467 - YOU WERE SNACKI? 521 00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:31,327 AND YOU WERE SCARLETT? 522 00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:33,233 - WELL, FIDDLE-DEE-DEE. 523 00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:34,773 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT. 524 00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:36,167 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 525 00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:37,867 - BUT WE DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. 526 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,227 - LOOK, I'M GLAD YOU'RE OKAY, 527 00:18:39,233 --> 00:18:41,073 BUT BREAST CANCER IS NOT A JOKE. 528 00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:44,127 - JEENA, I-I JUST REALLY-- 529 00:18:44,133 --> 00:18:45,273 [sighs] 530 00:18:45,267 --> 00:18:46,827 - SHE'S RIGHT, SWEETIE. 531 00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:49,103 BUT I HAVE A FEELING YOU KNOW THAT NOW. 532 00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,200 - [sighs] THIS IS GOING TO BE 533 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,100 A HARD ONE TO COME BACK FROM. 534 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,930 - UH-HUH. 535 00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:57,073 BUT, DUDE! YOU GOT A CHEST HAIR! 536 00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:58,527 - I KNOW, RIGHT? 537 00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:00,833 AND HE'S GOT A FRIEND! 538 00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:03,533 - MY LITTLE BOY'S BECOMING A MAN. 539 00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:08,773 - * IT'S EASY TO GET BY * 540 00:19:08,767 --> 00:19:12,967 [knocking on door] * WHEN I DON'T EVEN TRY... * 541 00:19:12,967 --> 00:19:14,367 - OH. HEY, RONNIE'S GHOST. 542 00:19:14,367 --> 00:19:15,367 - [coughs] 543 00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:16,367 - OH, MY GOD! 544 00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:17,797 IT'S REAL RONNIE! 545 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,830 - LONNIE, MAN, YOUR SKIN LOOKS FLAWLESS! 546 00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:21,973 - THANKS, MAN. 547 00:19:21,967 --> 00:19:23,297 I'M ON STEP THREE. 548 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:26,200 DUDE, I GOT YOUR URN, AND THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. 549 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,470 SO I SMOKED YOU. 550 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,767 - NO, MAN! 551 00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:31,067 THAT WAS MY STASH! 552 00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:32,927 IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD GET IT HERE. 553 00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:34,733 WE SPOKE TWO DAYS AGO, 554 00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:35,933 AND I TOLD YOU I WAS SENDING 555 00:19:35,933 --> 00:19:37,703 AN URN FILLED WITH WEED, 556 00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:41,230 AND NOT TO MISTAKE IT FOR MY ASHES. 557 00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:42,803 - AH...WHAT? 558 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,300 - I WROTE ON THE CARD, 559 00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:47,130 "THIS IS YOUR BUD, RONNIE." 560 00:19:47,133 --> 00:19:50,233 - OH! I THOUGHT IT SAID, "THIS IS YOUR BUD RONNIE." 561 00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:52,733 [laughter] 562 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,073 BOMBDIGGITY! 563 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:56,727 - BY THE WAY, YOUR FATHER DIED. 564 00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:59,603 - I'M A SURVIVOR. 565 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,400 - I'M A SURVIVOR. 566 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,130 - I'M A SURVIVOR. 567 00:20:03,133 --> 00:20:04,933 - I'M A SURVIVOR. 568 00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:06,503 - I'M A SURVIVOR TOO. 569 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,830 WELL, NOT AN ACTUAL FOR-REAL SURVIVOR, 570 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,473 BUT A SURVIVOR OF BEING REALLY SCARED 571 00:20:10,467 --> 00:20:11,767 OF HAVING BREAST CANCER. 572 00:20:11,767 --> 00:20:13,667 IT WAS A PIMPLE. 573 00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:17,097 BUT ONE IN EIGHT WOMEN WILL BE DIAGNOSED THIS YEAR. 574 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,170 AND DUDES CAN GET IT TOO. 575 00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:19,767 HERE'S THE THING. 576 00:20:19,767 --> 00:20:23,067 IF YOU CATCH IT EARLY, IT'S LIKE 98% CURABLE! 577 00:20:23,067 --> 00:20:25,927 SO SEE YOUR DOCTOR REGULARLY FOR CHECKUPS. 578 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,733 IT'S THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO 579 00:20:27,733 --> 00:20:30,833 FOR YOUR BREAST FRIENDS. 580 00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:33,303 - CUT! OKAY! PLACES, PEOPLE! 581 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,700 THESE OTTOMANS AREN'T GOING TO HUMP THEMSELVES! 582 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:39,700 [R&B music] 583 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:44,800 [rhythmic grunting] 584 00:20:44,850 --> 00:20:49,400 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39952

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