Original subtitles

Narrator: Previously on "Gemusetto Death Beat[s]",

Makasu became the de facto king of Suicide Town

after rival bicycle gangs thought his tragic death

in the flames of the sun was the pinnacle

of both painful and emotionally driven suicide.

If that doesn't make any sense, why don't you go read your

"Cirque de Freak" books by Darren Shan.

Uh.In the past 20 minutes

you have become a terrible despot, Makasu.

Everyone, do handstands.

-Okay, everyone, handstands. Do handstands!

You know, Dr. Legs,

all the ways you've encouraged me

to be nice during this adventure has taught me

to read social cues, and thus manipulate them.

Lick the floor!

[ Grunting ]

I overdosed on acetaminophen from these cold pills

in order to induce liver failure.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the liver is a yin organ

attributed with the wood element,

wood that oversees the clogging of blood.

This obstruction of flow

allowed me to futz with the blood energy

being sent to Keith, through my blood ring,

and he's my robotic musical battle amphibian.

Hey.

Thus allowing me to seal the deal

by floating upwards and seeming threatening.

While holding the head of their dead king, Yama,

which I've been keeping in my po-- in my pants.

But in the end... Om.

...It turns out... Ah.

...They thought you died in a cool way.

It was like a metaphor.

Do humpies!

[ All grunting ]

Uh, uh, uh, uh. Am I doing it?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

-♪ Gemusetto ♪ -♪ Gemusetto ♪

♪♪

I've mingled with Lord Makasu's subjects

and taken note of the social dynamic.

Please, om, tell me about society.

There are two primary factions in Suicide Town --

the Meatheads followin' Gearpiss

and the Intellectuals under Goosehead.

The Meatheads all killed themselves

in violent physical ways.

Gearpiss hung himself from a suspension bridge

and got hit by cars

as his corpse dangled for three hours.

That guy over there

let himself get smushed by a steam roller.

The Intellectuals, however, see that as primitive and base

and killed themselves with delicate,

not so gruesome means.

Goosehead locked herself in a shower

and turned on a hibachi grill

and cooked rare steaks until she died.

This is the way to go.

In your own shower, with your own meat.

[ Coughs ]

♪♪

This place is too sprawling.

I'm having a hard time finding the way

to the Center of All Death.

My cock is tired, and my compass

is just the letter N on a piece of paper.

I can't find the Center of Death anywhere!Makasu: Look at 'em all out there.

Doing humpies so obediently.

[ All grunting ]

Maybe...

maybe we don't need to reset the universe anymore.

Markasu, what are you sayin'?

Why don't we stay here,

and rule over our civilization

with all our new, obedient friends?

What? What?

What? What? What?

It's barely been half an hour.

It's been the best half an hour of my goddamn life!

♪♪

Makasu, don't you think you've taken

a little too much cold medicine.

Huh, Josie.

You 're just jealous of how good I am

at controlling my robotic musical keytar frog, Keith!

Blealous.

But if we don't reset all death --

It doesn't matter. The universe can't stop me

I'm too powerful now.

And I've learned friendship, Dr. Legs!

[ Munching ]

You can't just make your friends hump things!

That's not friendship!

Aah!

Ohh! Aah!

Makasu, what the heck!

You 're going too far!

What are friends other than people you use?

People are tools. It's semantics, Dr. Legs!

[ Laughs ]

Dr. Legs!

You taught him how to make friends on this journey.

but now he's using it as a vehicle to make him

Bad Makasu!

[ Grunts ]

Mm-hmm.

Everybody, hide under something

and we'll resume yelling at each other later!

Ahh! Friends.

Yes...Friends...

Hah...

Gearpiss: Hello?

Do we keep humpies?

Uh, do we sip -- uh, skip humpies,

or can we stop humpies?

♪♪

He was the closest thing I've ever had to a friend,

and I used to hate him.

But I spent so long just sad

about my mom being sick with the diabetes,

and he -- he liked kicking people in the shins

just to see 'em make a dumb face...

Heh. ...just like I like to see people hurt.

I never had friends.

Bodies were just like... cattle to me.

Meat that I'd cram into my boat box

and ship off into their eternity.

Boats have always been my only friend.

Boats live forever.

They won't die on you.

I had a lover in the Egyptian afterlife.Cool.

I had ceased existing for the most part

but a Cat Demon named Salads

had me wrapped around her celestial vagina.

Oh, Salads...

[ Yowling ]

[ Grunts ] Salads!

My relationship with Salads was only physical, though.

Not like the much more fulfilling relationship

I once had with Makasu.

Do you think...

I could make love...

to my boat?

[ Grunts ]

I got some guys here.

They're not happy with Makasu as well.

He -- he -- he -- he made me wipe him.

[ All murmuring ]

It was...terrible.

Legs! This is all your fault!

You told me he was gonna reset the universe!

Gahh!

I never left my boat before.

You made me leave my boat.

I hate all of you!

You're made of skin, you're not made of boat!Aww.

[ Crying ]

I'm sorry for yelling.

It's okay, baby.I just want my boat back.

We gon' have to do a sneak-em-up.

Tytti, you sure you didn't see a path outta this place?

Tytti: None little mama, Hells are so messed up,

I wish I could bring the Center of all Death

to us, you know?

Goosehead: The great and powerful Makasu

seeks those who are ghosting his texts and calls.

All must make me smile!

Everyone smile with me.Smile! Smile!

Let me see those teeth and gums!

Come on!Smile!

Shu shu shu- I hear the cries of his followers.

He's close, around the abandoned Mahnilympic Stadium.

[ Retches ]

Josie: Little Drummer Boy!

D-Drumming?

I hear drumming! Stop!

We're gonna squash the dissenters,

and then have a big chill hang out on pillows

where we listen to the music that I like!

[ Whip cracks ]

Goosehead: [ Laughs ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunts ]

♪♪

Where's everyone else, Josie?

Why'd everyone leave me?

Am I not cool enough?

Keith loves me now!

I love to hate!

Shoot that little sperm rag!

[ Squirting ]

Josie: This better work, Doc.

Squirt him until he becomes mush!

Josie!

Makasu.

Give up, you cute hunk, with the chiseled nips.

Sharp swipe!

Why won't you back down, you dumbass!

-[ Vocalizing ] -Huh? What's go--

[ Vocalizing ] Yeah!

Cool.

Huh?They're tricking us

with the power of misdirection, Lord Makasu!

Well, they won't miss this erection!

Humpies!

[ All grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

Josie: Our part's over now, buddy.

You can stop drummin'.

[ Grunting ]

-Shoot them, shoot them! -Ow, my head exploded!

No, friends! We gotta get them!

But, Lord Makasu, we are flanked.

[ Vocalizing ]

How long can the building even hold?

He might do humpies until it's rubble.

Hump rubble? Disgusting!

[ Groans ]

Back when you were alive and a sportsman,

you collected relics

by defeating ancient gods in sports.

And now, all of the religions you wronged

want a piece of that soul.

[ Shouting ]

My plan worked.

The religions trying to judge Makasu for his sins

are all reaching here because of the big power surge

his narcissistic monarchy and pill-gobbling has caused.

Tytti: The idea was thus this,

to bring the Center of All Death to us.

Makasu's no longer the hero, but the bait,

as the afterlives collided on our location

responding to my beautiful sing-song cock.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Goosehead?

Where'd the friends go?

Looks like they all killed each other.

Killing each other?

Killing ourselves.

That's Suicide Town, baby.

You're the ultimate Tragedy Makasu.

I'm sure they loved dying a second time

as people who are already dead.

I'm not really sure how this dying twice thing works.

It's been an honor.Goosehead?

Rock a beetle! Aah!

Oh, my God.

Goosehead! What did you just sa--

Josie, I, uh...

Damn it, substance abuse is the worst thing you could do!

'Cause in turn, I was abusing the people I care about.

[ Grunts ]

♪♪

Guys!

I got hooked on pills

and fell right into the clutches of Big Pharma!

Hold up, you're a good boy again, dog?

I don't know if I'm a good boy,

but, an embarrassed boy, maybe.

Only if you promise.

I've seen and caused way too much suffering

to think that power and control over a bunch of people

who killed themselves

and wander an abandoned neo-neon Hong Kong

is what really matters.

I should've thought of that before!

Friendship is more than having people like you

and do things for you.

You gotta like them!

Just like Josie loves his turtle!

I love -- I love this frickin' turtle.

Ahh shoot, this is awkward,

'cause we used your overwhelming power and anger

to bring the Center of All Death to us

by pulling more afterlives in our general direction

to find at least one gateway to the Center.

Yeah. Pretty much.

That was my plan, and it's all scary now.

I believe they came from Valhalla.

Or as they say in Spanish, Vahaya.

That's where all the Vikings go to yell at things

and [Bleep] cornucopias on a wooden table when they die!

I think they're gonna yell at us.

It's just like that terrible, terrible, terrible,

terrible movie "Titanic"

by the obese Jim Cameron.

Nice.

♪ Humpies, surround me ♪

♪ Humping around ♪

♪ Humpies surround ya ♪

Narrator: Next time on "Gemusetto Death Beat[s]"...

I had a daughter recently,

and I wouldn't wanna raise her in an environment

that, uh, raises media over friendship.