Original subtitles

Previously on "Gemusetto Machu Picchu,"

Makasu, relic thief and sportsman,

challenged the Incan Gods

for the secret treasure of South America

but was betrayed by his tennis mentor

and burned to death by the sun.

Ohh. Ahh.

My name is Makasu.

I died recently.

And it sucked.

I challenge you to tennis.

I embrace the cold arms of death,

for in my living life as a sportsman

I was real sinner and a [bleep]

And a dick face. And a butt head.

But then, I was caught in the middle of the void

by a lady made entirely of fingers.

Relax, little buddy. I froze time.

You're the only one who can help me.

With the power of your Robotic Musical Battle Amphibian

which you control with your Emerald Blood Ring.

My name is Dr. Legs.

Because it's fingers, right?

Heh, it's a whole bunch of fingers.

Heh.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

[ Singing indistinctly ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Gemusetto. Gemusetto!

♪♪

Ohhhh, where am I?Cool it, dude.

You're 100% dead right now, you dumbass.

Ohhh. Just gotta cool it!

I'm trying to cool it, Dr. Legs!

But dying and getting rubbed up by some big fing-fings

makes me go coo-coo!

You lost everything, little guy.

Man, but right now, we got more poopies to poop.

What is this place, made of foreskin?

This is the Mind Womb, Makasu.

Whoa. Does the mind womb have a bath womb

in case I need to go bath womb?

Yes. Whoa.

All mind wombs have a bath womb.

These are the wombs you can come to think in as well as piss in.

Ahh! That's great.

Back when you were alive and a sportsman,

you collected relics by defeating ancient gods

in sports. Okay.

And now, all of the religions you wronged

want a piece of that soul.

But not cool soul like a guy with giant sunglasses,

real soul. Real soul?

Like who are.

That guy is too cool for school.

He's too cool for school, that guy.

His sunglasses are way too big.

Whoa. That chaos!

That chaos! You see the chaos?!

I see it! I was born of that!

God damn it!I exist as a handful of fingers

'cause things are going down fast.

Hoo, boy!

I'm here to pluck you up and make you fix your mess,

you sloppy [bleep]Hoo, boy!

Energies wanting your judgement are rippin' the universe apart.

Hoo, boy.And you're the only one...

No, not the only one, Dr. Legs!

I was born to make sure that you save the universe.

Ahh, man. I got spit in your eye.

In the middle of all the afterlives

of every religion is the Center of All Death,

a tree that controls life and death

on a epic nondenominational scale.

We gots to battle our way through the hells

and make our way there to pull the plug!

Only by ending the universe and restarting it once again

can we fix what your soul done frunked up!

You silly cousin.

This seems hopeless to me.

I mean, I mean, if we have to go to every single freakin' hell,

and those are gonna be full of Death Gods

who want a big slice of my big fat...

soul ass, and I gotta sl-th'whack em through,

and, God, geez, pokin' this thing,

it reminds me of poking my Mommy's tongue.

Excuse me.

We're gonna be running into deity after deity

who wants to rip my soul out and judge my sins.

And they 're not just gonna wanna play sports against me.

The rules have changed.

And, sure, I do have Keith,

who I can summon with my Emerald Blood Ring

and we can use to Musical Battle Robot Duel with,

but my bond with Keith,

my Robotic Musical Battle Amphibian,

it's not strong enough to Musical Battle

through the afterlives and fix the afterlives!

The truth is me and Keith?

Well, well, we never really got along.

Ma-- Makasu. [ Laughs ]

I just wore this blood ring 'cause it's --

emerald blood ring's nice.

Makes me look -- my hand look pretty.

When I give hand jobs,

it looks nice.

When I tug off a train conductor for free rides.

Maybe, dude, maybe, well, maybe you gotta learn to be friends.

Well, maybe, maybe you gotta learn to be friends wi--

Well, maybe you gotta learn to be friends with Keith.

♪♪

[ Crying ]

Makasu: [ Thinking ] And it's all come to this.

Of all the selfish sins of my life,

my thievery and narcissism,

my true punishment isn't floating in some empty void

as the universe falls apart, no.

It's learning to become friends with Keith... Oh, God.

...my musical battle robotic animal frog man.

Oh, God.

My time-freezing has put the convergence at bay

and allowed us to passage to Duat, the Egyptian underworld.

It's just up this escalator.

Step out of this hole, gaping hole.

The flesh gate hole that I made.

I'm very proud of myself.

Yeah, but that's cool 'cause I done opened up the gate now.

We done walked through, right?

Okay. A'ight.

I'm gonna miss mind womb.

Yeah, I like it too.

I like the mind womb.

Heh.

The time has come to answer for

your mortal crimes, Makasu!

Dr. Legs: Maat! Goddess of Law,

morality, and balance is in our way first!

Makasu: Well, looks like we're gonna be beginning this journey

where everyone's gonna be doing the thing

where they judge me for my death.

Gah, what a premise.

Yeah.

I [bleep] with Egypt.

From within the iron of my blood

and the power of my ethereal soul,

I compose you, Keith!

[ Groaning ]

Byeh. Yah.

Keith!

Arpeggiate Lily Pad!

Byeh, byeh, bheeeh.

Oh, my God.Bwepthhh.

Keith, you have to arpeggiate the lily pad

or you're gonna melt in the lake of fire!

Lake of fire?

Arpeggio, from the Italian word,

"arpeggiare," which means to play on a harp,

is the playing of notes from a broken chord

in a rising or descending order.

They are often used to allow monophonic instruments

to voice chords and progressions.

Byop.

Byoooh-m.

Byep.

Time to blast this goddess like a butt bus

bukkake bl-- Oh, shit. That sounds stupid.

Bwaaaaah!

Keith, you stupid idiot!

That's not a fly, that's flames!I'm Keith.

Makasu: [ Thinking ] I hate Keith.

He's the worst Robotic Battle Amphibian of them all.

And we don't get along!

Ahh, I [bleep] hate Keith.

He's the worst musical battle amphibian of them all.

I [bleep] hate Keith.

[ Laughs ]

I compose AnuBass!

Yeah!

You and your silly frog won't be able to resist

the deep resonant tones of AnuBass!

He can sail these flaming seas with his eyes closed!

Like a pirate with no eyes!

Whoa!

Dr. Legs, it's like an earthquaking!

Makasu, bruh, you gotta learn to get along with Keith!

I hate to be a sassy lady about it!

Oh, wow.

[ Thinking ] She's right!

Surrender your heart for judgement, all-sinner!

[ Out loud ] No, Maat!

My true judgement is my bond with Keith!

Bweh, yeah!That [bleep] dumb piece of shit.

I hate him.

Bwup, bwup, bwup-bwuh bwup, blwah, bwup.

That's a shame! [ Laughs ]

Walking! Bass! Line!

Bwah!

Keith! High Note Hop!

Bwep! Bwap! Bwap!

Keith, it is very good when you listen to me!

Bwah!Man, I'm gonna hit you on the head with this shoe!

You celebratin' too soon! Look!

Bring it down, daddy-o!

Oh, no!

In jazz, it's also about the notes you don't play!

AnuBass captured those secret notes in his jazz hat,

and he's gonna use it to remotely detonate

his bass notes from another location!

-[ Barks ] -Byuh-oh, baby! Bwell!

Dr. Legs! Please! Freeze time!

I only have two time-stop fingernails,

and I used it already to save you in the void,

but I can only do it one more time!

It's an emergency!

Aaaahh! Aaah!

Wait, don't freeze ti--

[ Groans ] Okay, I'm gonna be right back.

But I gotta go toilet right now.

Oh, dang it.

Ahh, ahh, shit.

Oooh.

Ahh, Keith, could you co--

uhh, could you come please join me in the potty?

Bath womb.Uh -- uh, bath womb, please?

Bweeeell.

Uhhh.

Uhhhhhh.

Crazy, right, Keith?

That, uh, Dr. Legs,

born of the chaos of the universe ending,

says we have to find the afterlife

in the Center of all Death

and that it's my fault the universe -- Keith: Bwep.

Keith. Bwep.

You just plugged my urethra with your tongue.

Byuh.

Uhhh.

I hate this as much as you do, Keith.

Trust me.

But that's what I wanted to talk about.

My life was a mess, I'm a shit friend,

I know this, but just this once

I gotta try and set something right.

So maybe I can die in peace, Keith.

Die in peace. [ Sniffles ]

Now please, remove your tongue from my urethra.

Bweh. Bweth bweh bweh.

Bweth bweh bweh bweh bweh.

Uh. I get it, Keith.

Being a heartless little dick like that,

I did that my whole life.

Heartless little -- Oh, my God, that's sticky!

Eww.

No more sticking your tongue

where it shouldn't go, though, okay?

Byup, Keith gonna lick what he gonna lick.

Oh, my God.

I have an idea!

♪ Embrace the frog

♪ Then hate yourself

♪ Death comes for us all

♪ We cough up blood in the cosmic mist ♪

♪ Death is at the door

♪ The game is set beyond the gates of sport ♪

♪ Our fates spread out for the gods to sort ♪

♪ Embrace the frog

♪ Then hate yourself

♪ Death comes for us all

Next time on "Gemusetto: Death Beat[s]"...

Can Makasu get along with Keith,

his Frog Robot Musical Man?

And will his new mentor analog, Dr. Legs,

betray him just like the God of Tennis did?

Are these repeating character motifs

opportunities for growth or dark omens?

Who knows here? No one knows!

No one's gonna know!