Original subtitles

Inti: You've always been brilliant.

[ Makasu moaning ]

Ohhhh.

Whoa!

[ Moaning continues ]

[ Echoing ] Why...

were you... Your...

serve.

My name is Makasu,

and I'm an international sportsman

and religious-relic thief.

You might have heard of my heists

and my famous abilities in sports.

I always travel with my servant,

Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear,

who lives in my back-pocket dimension.

Chirp! Chirp! Okay.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Chirp!

Wa-ha! Chirp!

Wah! Wow!

Thank you, Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear.

I believe we're here at the ruins.

Chirp! Chirp!

Hah! You dirty whore boy, you!

Wa-ha-ho-ho! Ha-ha hee-hoo!

Ha-ha hee-hoo. You are a dirty whore boy!

Okay.

[ Wind whistles ]

Now, to use this rod.

[ To himself ] To use this rod I bought

in the Peruvian black market

with ancient counting ropes used in Incan times.

Chirp! Chirp!

Bitch, what's wrong with you, so-horny boy!

Chirp!

Please work.

[ Rumbling ]

♪♪

Oh, wow!

Ahh!

Outward Earth, move! Rah!

So, you've come, Makasu.

Hyah! You knew of my arrival.

My repu-- perp-- My repre-- uh [bleep] me.

All deities know of your exploits.

I am infamous, incredibly cool,

and I am also the Internet.

You can't trick me, Maka-chan.

You are not the Internet.

You are a sportsman.

He knows I'm not the Internet.

Who is this guy?

You want the ultimate treasure of South America.

And I have no plans to stop you.

In fact, I would like to guide you

through the pachas of the Inca,

towards our secret vault of treasure.

Oh, wow!

But to claim what you seek, you must best the Gods in...

Peru tennis.

Oh, wow!

In order to get the true treasure of South America,

I'm challenging all the Incan gods to tennis.

I hope I can win.

Narrator: "Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu"

What's wrong? I just said I wanted to help you.

Tennis is the sport I've always been worst at

and the "sport that makes me

the most emotional" sport of every sport.

It gives me... emotional memories.

Aw. Dang.

Ewww.

Even all this vibrating of my butt

on the rocks of the Andes,

on this butt surf down to Machu Picchu, isn't cheering me up.

Uhhhh.

Uh...

Gazelle-like leap! Aaaah!

Aaaah!

Makasu-san?

Don't look at me, Incan God.

I'm so not kawaii when I get emotional.

Kawaii is the name I've given

to my favorite dream island for Hawaii.

If it existed, it would be full of cute chibi cats

and they'd work at Cold Stone

and give me my favorite sherbet, with yogurt rocks.

And they'd live inside an ice cream.

Ah, interesting idea.

But you're known for never giving up,

no matter the sport needed for acquiring

the treasures you seek.

After everything you've done --

You don't know me! You only know stories.

In my dream, the island of Kawaii has a car cat.

The cat goes meow-meow for "purr,"

and the cars are also called Kyle.

The island of Kyle cats driving Kyle cars is a real island.

This is my dream island.

Wow!

God of Tennis: I thought he was going to be the one.

The volcano that formed Kawaii erupted

in very cute little fire guys.

Makasu: Islands are made from volcanoes

and exist in the ocean.

They're kinda the nipples of the sea.

Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear...

Chirp!...my racket, please.

Okay.

Chirp!

Tennis was the only sport I wanted to avoid play...ing.

You wanna know why, Incan?

Chirp!My grandfather --

he played a similar game...

known as rac-quet-ball.

Aah. Hah!

I'm returning it, Grandpa.

He'd take me after hot dogs

to go play with him at rac-quet court.

Nice return, Makasu!

But the truth is, his passion for rac-quet was his undoing.

Aah! Brain!

Grandpa? Grandpa?

Grandfather!

The wound afflicted him with aphasia and a gradual dementia.

His passion for rac-quet balls "dequeriated."

Uh...They used to give us guns.

Hmm. Sent us into the jungle.

They told us to go kill people.

They told us to ki-i-ll!

Grandfathe-e-e-r!

Uh, the truth is, uh, this was his racket.

Get ahold of yourself!

You are not becoming your grandfather

just by playing tennis!

You are not stepping into Korea and mowing down

Communists with an American-made rifle.

You are merely playing tennis against bastardized motifs

of Incan religion.

And what do you know about me, about loss?!

You're a god -- too lofty

to even allow a mortal, like me,

have one sport they can't be the best at!

Chirp!

[ Sniffing ]

Coq au vin? Who is this guy?

God of Tennis: 1968, A.D. --

the year that changed everything.

Monsieur, monsieur, we are French cinema students

with French New Wave cinema. Uh, take our films!

Get away from me with your films!

Stomping away angrily to the café!

Quick! Let's make a film of that pigeon!

The Aboriginals of Australia believe

that if you capture something on camera, you steal its soul.

New Wave cinema stole the soul of my home.

I'm not originally an Incan deity.

I was part of a now-forgotten French Pantheon.

We resided in the most ancient of French landmarks --

the millions-of-years-old Tour Eiffel,

made of melted Neanderthal butts.

There were 12 of us --

Veronique, the Stepmother of all Gods;

Jean, God of the Nicotine;

Luc, God of Piss-Covered Cobblestones;

Woody Allen, God of Marrying Daughters;

Chloe, Goddess of Lady Hair All Over the Body,

Even the Hands; Roman Polanski, God of Pedophiles;

four other gods; and I, the God of Tennis.

French pantheon? I'm playing with my nipples.

How may I help you?

Just a Nescafé. "What else?"

Oh, you are a god, are you not?

We do not serve your kind here.

Je suis désolé.

Hey, you should really leave France.

Now that we have New Wave cinema and socialism,

we do not need gods.

They will kill you if they find you,

just like what they did with the others.

The students, with their cameras

and their riots.

It's 1968.

Time for a new generation --

generation of mortals.

[ Coos ]

Goodbye, pigeon!

God of Tennis: I was lost, without a family.

I tried to pretend to be mortal, hide in the metro.

Hey, I do tennis tricks.

I give blowjob and do tennis tricks.

I do 30-love, I do...

But our age was over.

I can put the tennis racket all the way up!

The only place I knew

exiled Europeans to survive was Argentina,

where the Nazis went after Nuremberg.

But they told me their bunks were all full

with sexy little Hitler boy clones

with big Brazil butts, and I'm no god of pedophiles.

Then, I met them -- the aging Incan gods,

almost obsolete themselves, and they took me in.

Because they love tennis.

Every pantheon loves a secret specific sport.

You know this more than anyone.

And the Incans, they loved tennis.

And as luck would have it,

you were the French God of Tennis.

Tennis. Tennis.

Both: Tennis!

Oh, ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.

I guess I was lucky.

I'm so sorry I doubted the pain you went through.

It's such a moving story, and I'm lucky to have

a God of Tennis here to tell me what's to do with...

Both: Tennis.

Tennis!

Ha-ha-ha. I'm playing with my nipples again.

I am a strong boy with feelings of worth,

good at most sports, God of Tennis.

But on top of my emotional baggage, surrounding rackets,

my forehand smash lacks power and finesse.

Ughhh.

Ughhh.

Your stroke reeks of ignorance.

Warp with me to a more evocative setting,

and I will shower you with tennis lore.

Welcome to my inner sanctum.

[ Gasping ]

Makasu: The books, they breathe.

They teach, but reading makes me angry.

[ Mumbling ]

The official story on the World Wide Web

states that tennis harkens back to 12th-century France,

when and where I was born and awoke into my godhood.

But that's only a fraction of the story.

Tennis predates even the God of Tennis' divinity?

You see it, Makasu?

Cygnus rips a volley to Cassiopeia.

Cassiopeia wings it back.

Cygnus misses!

15-love!

30-15, you piece of shit.

But you get it.

This is where it all began and continues.

Sheer happenstance, beyond the heavens,

became a hobby spanning eons.

This was never covered in class!

School never prepares you for real life, about tennis.

My teachers are dumb.

The Dirty Clan.

The Dirty Clan hunted.

They gathered.

And they played tennis.

Theirs was a crude precursor to the sport of lawns.

Your eyes are opening.

Wow!

Look now at the sacrifices made to keep tennis relevant.

Tennis lore almost didn't survive the Beforetimes.

Early kings feared it.

Religions forbade it.

Were it not for the bravery of some,

like Thierry here, tennis might've perished.

-Aaah! -Thanks, Thierry!

Thierry would not have liked you.

[ Sighs ] But that was Thierry.

God of Tennis: A more enlightened age would follow,

where competing countries

would stage matches for years on end.

Whoa!One epic rally paused

for only a single hour on Christmas Eve...

Whoa!...when the players put down their rackets,

met in the center, and killed each other.

[ Explosion ]

Aaah!

Yes, tennis.

This is the knowledge I need.

I will channel the grace of the stars,

the strength of the Dirty Clan, the honor of Thierry!

I can feel their lessons

coursing through my body already!

Hwa cha cha cha cha!

Ha-ha!

Whoa, cha cha cha cha cha!

Ha-ha! Hate to be on the ret--

-Cha! -Ha-ha!

Hate to be on the receiving end of that tennis ball!

Now let's practi-i-i...

-Cha! -...ice!

Narrator: "Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu"

-Whew. -Whew.

Whew. Ha-ha-ha hoo!

This horny bitch boy loves licking our tennis sweat,

from tennis. Ha-ha!

Now do you feel more comfortable in the sport of tennis?

It used to be my most emotional sport,

and the one I was worst at, but thanks to your pointers...

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

...I'm ready to take on the gods.

[ Siren wails ]

Planning on taking on more gods, Makasu?

Oh! Who is this mortal?

Bendy Rivers, my nemesis.

Oh!

He's been on my tail for the past decade,

always one step behind me

when I defeat gods and take their treasures.

That's, uh, D-Detective Bendy Rivers,

Interpol Spiritual Crimes Division.

Almost every religion on the planet

has a problem with you, Makasu.

Tell those cucks to get better at sports, then.

I've committed no crime,

other than cream-pieing their daughters...

with sports.

Huh. We'll see about that, Makasu.

But this time, I have you surrounded.

[ Handcuffs click, helicopter blades whirring ]

[ Siren wailing ]

Handcuffs?

Three years ago, Mount Olympus --

you mud-wrestle Zeus and take the ambrosia.

-Aw. -Two years ago, Bethlehem.

You bowl against Jesus Christ and score a perfect game,

leaving his wrists gaping as you snag the stigmata.

Uh...

These certainly are wild accusations, Rivers,

but don't I always tell you to bend it like Beckham

instead of bending your nutty mind

around these crazy conspiracy figures -- figures --

figures -- conspiracy figures -- conspiracy theories?

Speaking of soccer, um, last year,

40 miles outside of Tibet --

-Just drop this shit. -Hmm.

I'm a curious millennial on a long,

worldwide backpacking trip.

My story's not gonna change.

Hmm.

Where do you keep the relics, Makasu?

I know it's you.

Does Interpol ever seem to get upset

at all the money you're wasting...

Hmm.

...trying to arrest a little millennial like me?

Hmm. Hmm-hmm.

Hmm.

[ Fingers clacking ]

They tell me the Incas love tennis, Makasu.

I've heard that's the sport you're the weakest in...

[ Breathing heavily ]

...and the sport you're most emotional about.

Ugh.

Back Pocket Flying Dimension Bear, my racket!

Chirp!

Back Pocket Flying Dimension Bear...

-Chirp! -...my racket!

Chirp!

Oof oof oof oof.

I'm going to stop you this time.

Oof oof oof oof.

I will find all those relics.

Hooah, hooah, hooah, hooah, hooah.

Hooah, hooah, hooah, hooah!

Hooah! Hooah!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Conk!

Aah! My head was hit with the racket!

Aah!

[ Thud! ]

Baa baa. Baa baa.

Quick! Jump on my llama!

Hooah!

Now I will cut off the llama's legs

so we can fly away.

Baa.

Hi, Sonia my wife, I'm home.

How was your day?

How was yours?Oh, no, what's wrong?

Did something bad happen?

Cristobal told me what happened, Ben.

So, you lost track of that Makasu guy again.

Is that right?

He slippered out?

[ Sighs ] I did.

Hmm.

He tricked me with a flipper slip flip.

And he's gonna stole another god's possession

after beating him in sports.

You're pathetic.

I'm doing everything I can to get him, I swear.

Hmm.

I'm getting closer, but that guy is just unpredictable.

What happened to you?

You are not the detective man I married anymore.

Uh, but -- but -- but -- but -- but -- but -- but...

When I met you, you were known as the brilliant detective,

the brightest in the Spiritual Crime Department.

Every single mythical creature in your homeland,

you stopped them all in their tracks.

You were named The Man Who Caught The Trauco,

the man responsible for bursting

the Caleuche Ghost Boat drug ring.

I still -- Then, you got reassigned by Interpol,

relocating our whole family from Chile

to wherever he might have been,

putting your wife and children's life on pause,

just to get that Makasu.

What have you achieved by now?

But there's still hope! I'm leading the investigation,

and I-I have a hunch where he's --

You know what?

I cannot even digest this humita

I prepared for dinner.

It's getting all cold!

Cold.

Cold like the ice in my heart!

[ Ice clinking ]

Sonia, my almond, please don't...

Ugh!

Okay, I'll sleep in the car!

Honk, honk, honk, honk!

Honk, honk, honk.

Sonia!

I'm walking to the door of our home!

Look, Sonia, it's all right.

I like my humitas cold, actually.

I can just add sugar on top.

Oh, oh!

Pendejo!

Mama, Mama, can we eat the corn?

No! Don't eat that!

I probably didn't cook it right!

Mommy is so bad at cooking corn when she's mad!

Okay, let me see.

[ Crying ]

I'll get Makasu, even if it takes my life.

[ Bleating ]

Ugh. Mwah.

It's beautiful to see you kiss

every part of the animal.

I'm sorry. Hah.

I didn't mean that. I've just -- hah --

I've been challenging gods to sports for so long, and...

no gods have ever helped me.

You're greedy. You covet.

And you're ultimately alone.

I know this. Hah.

But the Incan gods who took me in

back in the late '60s...

Why would you want me to defeat them?

...they're no longer themselves.

God of Tennis: The Incan people are a distant memory

in some ways.

And though stories and blood remain,

humanity evolves genetically and mimetically.

There are new obsessions, new unifiers.

Like Jake Paul, God of 12-year-olds.

Like Jacob Paul. Like porno.

[ Sighs ]

I do not hold a grudge against the people who leave us.

But without followers,

the Incan gods became more and more aberrant --

half themselves, half fractured reflections,

locked in a sort of quasi-sentience.

They need to be freed.

And having me defeat them in tennis

is the only way to free them.

I knew you would --But what about...

you? Hmm?

I haven't even heard of the French pantheon,

and you said that's 'cause the French

completely abandoned their faith.

Why aren't you aberrant and fractured,

garbage clam of confusion?

Don't you think I ask myself that

every goddamn day, mortal?!

By the time "Space Jam" hit theaters,

these Incans who took me in and cared for me

were but shadows of who they once were!

Come... before Interpol returns.

♪♪

Uhhh, uhhh...

Huh?

Chirp!

I'm nervous.

You've taught me so much, God of Tennis,

but still, it is my worst sport. -Yes.

The last time I failed, I was so ashamed.

I played basketball once against the Celtic god Gwydion

for the treasure of the Welsh.

He was an illusionist, a magical trickster.

And using mind tricks, he made me think I was playing tennis.

And I had such PTSD of tennis -- post-tennis stress disorder --

that I had a quinceañera of sadness in my mind,

and I ran away from Wales, never to return,

because of the shame I have felt.

Look at me, here, now.

Imagine the tennis ball is this raclette cheese.

Imagine it oozing through a colander,

or as we said in France, "passoire."

What?

This is the last lesson in tennis I can give you,

until maybe I have to teach you another lesson in tennis.

Narrator: "Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu"

We are in Ekeko's domain.

Ekeko.

Smoking is a very bad habit.

But I'm going to eat all these cigarettes whole,

as a good-luck charm and for the nicotine rush.

You never know when you're going to need cigarettes,

even if they are bad for your health.

Babes look pretty cool and badass

when they smoke a cigarette,

but they can give you disease like cold sore.

God of Tennis: Ekeko represents bounty and plenty,

and since he lost himself,

he has let his village go unkempt,

wealth and prosperity sprouting from the ground like weeds.

[ Sniffing ]

Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear!

Chirp!Smell this dirt!

Okay.

[ Sniffing ]

Uh...

Oh, he's hungry.

[ Gagging ]

[ Coughing ] Oh-hoy!

Uh... [ Coughs ]

Chirp!

Can it find Ekeko?

Shh! Let it think!

[ Groaning ]

Chirp! Chirp!

He's such a horny bitch boy.

He's a wiggling bitch boy! He knows!

Nyah, nyah! Wet slop, wet slop!

It's saying "wet slop" over and over!

That means it knows where to go.

Wet slop, wet slop.

Quick!

We must follow!

All right, there they go, running through the village.

Whoa, oh, watch out for that pile of cigarettes.

Uh -- Oh, no, is that a dead end?

A dead end?

Damn this overgrowth!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Don't you remember the horizontal slice you taught me?

Hoo! Time to get, uh, confident Makasu!

Whoa! Power of tennis, tennis!

[ Echoing ] Eclipse plant trim slice horizontal!

Ohhh!

Whew.

Hello!

Aah! A chair?

That's no ordinary chair.

Oooh.That's the Chair Umpire!

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh. Ah!

Chair Umpire?

Most chairs I've seen don't have faces.

This is a different experience.

[Bleep] me. Reality is out the window.

This chair has a face.

Hey, man, are you a challenger to Ekeko?

I guess I'm gonna have to tell this chair

that I intend to challenge Ekeko.

What a wild story this is!

Hello!

Oh, wow!

Narrator: Ekeko -- E-K-E-K-O.

Ekeko is the Tiwanakan god of abundance and prosperity.

He is often depicted as a small man carrying bags and baskets

loaded with grains, household objects,

and anything that a person may want

or need to live a prosperous life.

One popular legend of Ekeko

begins with a young Aymara girl named Paulita Tintaya.

Paulita worked as a servant in the home

of Doña Josefa Ursula de Rojas Foronda,

wife of brigadier Don Sebastián de Segurola, governor

and army commander of La Paz, Bolivia, and its surroundings.

Local indigenous peoples had recently laid siege

to the city of La Paz

in an act of rebellion against Spanish rule.

Paulita was madly in love

with local servant boy Isidro Choquehuanca,

who was swiftly drafted into the local army.

He left Paulita a small clay figure of Ekeko

as a parting gift.

As the siege dragged on, food and water became scarce.

Many of the villagers went hungry.

Some resorted to eating cats and dogs to avoid starvation.

But in the home of Doña Josefa, Paulita was never hungry.

Miraculously, the small clay figure provided

Paulita with enough dried meat, corn,

and biscuits to feed her host family and survive the siege.

When Doña Josefa asked Paulita

where she obtained these previsions,

Paulita explained to her

that Ekeko had the power to make food appear when needed.

In reality, Isidro had been risking his life

to sneak away from the local army encampment

and bring food to Paulita.

Doña Josefa and the commander

thanked the small clay idol for their good fortune.

After six long months,

the Spanish defeated the indigenous army,

and lifted the siege.

Doña Josefa and the commander, having survived the siege,

gave their blessing to the wedding of Isidro and Paulita

and allowed them to stay in their home as servants.

Doña Josefa and the commander

wished to commemorate the generous gifts

that Ekeko left them during the siege.

The city of La Paz began to host an annual celebration for Ekeko

on January 24th.

Today, Bolivians continue to travel to La Paz each year

to partake in the Alasitas festival.

People buy miniature versions of goods to pin

onto their own Ekekos, in the hopes that they will receive

the real items in the coming year.

Bolivians and other Andean peoples

typically keep these small Ekeko figurines

in a place of honor within their homes.

Modern versions of the Ekeko idol

include a circular opening in his mouth,

in which people can insert cigarettes for his pleasure.

The legend of Ekeko is truly a testament

to the importance of persevering

and maintaining hope in otherwise hopeless times.

Makasu: Huh?!

This is Ekeko.

In the time that he does not need

to present himself to society,

he remains a small wooden miniature, when nobody --

when he -- when no one's looking at him.

And look at his gaping whore mouth!

I'm guessing it means he wants a taste.

He did just eat all those cigarettes,

just a few minutes ago.

Looks like they will come in handy to summon Ekeko!

[ Gagging ]

[ Coughs ]

[ Gagging continues ]

♪♪

[ Shuddering ]

[ Ekeko clears throat ]

Who are you?

Why are you here?

To challenge you to tennis, Ekeko!

Hah, tennis? Tennis!

Ha-ha-ha!

Mr. Brown Doo-Doo Eyes.

This day is truly a gift, then!

Hah! Ha-hee-hee!

Hah!

There are four rules in tennis.

One of them is love.

And if you get that one, then it's a game, set, match.

Now sir!

Oh, serve. Now serve!

Whew.

You seem rather confident in our match, Ekeko.

Hopefully, he doesn't know tennis is my rustiest sport

and it makes me emotional.

Confident? Why is that?

You don't seem to be holding a racket.

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

He doesn't have a racket, he says.

Do I have gifts for you --

gifts of things you haven't even seen yet.

Heh-heh-heh heh heh. Oh!

Hyah! Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

Whoa-whoa-whoa-ho-ho!

What?! Love-15!

Damn, I thought he had no rackets.

Turns out, his rackets were all in his baskets.

What do I do?

I didn't expect him to have baskets full of rackets.

With this magic of baskets and rackets,

I doubt I can hack it.

But, wait, have I cracked it?

A poem by me, right now.

Nice trick, Ekeko.

But I believe you left an opening in your weak spot.

Precise serve dagger!

Yes!

Love-30!

I should have known his bags of grain

were actually full of tennis balls.

He has thought of everything.

Falling victim to my Pit of Infinite Tennis Balls bag!

What a great gift.

Game point!

Hey, poopy-eyes, why don't you send

your little Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear

my way while -- hee-hee-hee-hee --

you take a little breather.

I've got a little gift for you.

Chirp!

What does he have planned now?

He's already at game point.

Huh? -Chirp!

Ekeko, using your miniature gifts

to taunt your challenger!

What a low blow!

Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.Wait a second.

Wait a second!

Ekeko: [ To himself ] Huh? What's this loser doing?

Oh, Ekeko?

Please come over here to the net.

Come over here, actually.Oh, uh...

Thank you for this generous gift,

and the gift of a competition with you.

I know you intend this to be an omen of my loss,

a miniature version of a true gift

you want me to manifest -- that gift being...

both: A T-shirt that reads "Big tennis loser."

Heh-heh-heh. You got it!

I'm not trying to be mean, really.

It's just fun to talk shit when you're winning

at your favorite sport, which mine is tennis.

Ha-ha-ha, Ekeko, I get it.

I always do talk shit.

I always do talk shit at times.

Both: Ha-ha-ha-ha!

God of Tennis: They're laughing together?

What if I said I had a gift for you?

Oooh!

A counter-gift. Ha!

You're trying to trick me, aren't you?

Force me to manifest this counter-gift --

a prophetic vision of me

wearing the "Big tennis loser" shirt

so that you are destined to win.

I have to admit, not a terrible idea.

Thank you for saying...

Uhhh. ...that.

Ha-ha-ha-ha! But you forget,

a counter-gift goes both ways.

And we could go back and forth

forever with this wiping off this little painted face,

changing the face, making this cigarette man me and you

and whatever counter-counter-gifts

we do forever...

until you give up like the big tennis loser you are.

Uhhh, um...

You're right, but you're missing the true secret

of this counter-gift.

Secret?!

Chirp!

In his hand,

this cigarette version of you is holding...

Another miniature!

Wearing another "big tennis loser" T-shirt.

And what's in his hand?

Oh! An even smaller miniature...

Both: Wearing an even smaller T-shirt!

Uh, uh, uh, uh...

Continuing forever, uhhhh...

An infinite amount of miniatures,

a fractal rift of gifts that when your godly instinct

to fulfill this gift even begins to comprehend

the monumental depth of this counter-gift,

your ability to develop a counter-counter-gift

will be halted by your conflicting desires.

A counter-gift infinite-fractal tactic?

What an idea that makes perfect sense the whole time!

No! Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

No! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

No-o-o!

I-I can't! Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee.

Must fulfill every...

every... miniature!

Ugh, ughhh!

Oh, oh, ugh, ugh!

Uh, uh, uh, ugh!

Um, um, your manipulative gifts

have sapped me of my power!

Hah! ♪ Doo doo doo-doo-doo

Hah!

Then we are finally on equal footing, god.

My serve, Ekeko.

Narrator: "Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu"

♪♪

♪♪

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪ Makasu know how to get it -♪ Know how to get it

-♪ Ekeko can't even kick it -♪ Can't even kick it

♪ Everybody know who to go

♪ I put on my clothes, and I go for the go ♪

♪ You don't wanna see me on court ♪♪ See me on court

♪ I keep that thang in my shorts ♪

♪ Thang in my shorts

♪ Look at the drip, come take a sip ♪

♪ I got that Continental grip -♪ Continental grip

♪ Serve, swag, serve, swag

♪ Continental grip

♪ Serve, swag, Continental grip ♪

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪ Yeah, swing, hit, ace

♪ I'm out there with all the grace ♪

♪ Makasu takin' no breaks

♪ They can't keep up with the pace ♪

♪ When I go in, I go deep -♪ Deep, deep

♪ Check out my reach, swing ♪

♪ I don't even need no doubles ♪

♪ Me all alone, you still in trouble ♪

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪ I'm-a always keep that thang on me ♪

♪ Swing, swing, swing, swing

♪♪

♪♪

Whoa! Oh!

Holy dang, I went out on a limb there.

You took what I taught you about tennis

and improvised to make it something even greater.

I guess your sport infamy truly is earned.

You ever doubted it?

Woo-oo-oof!

Flying Bear!Chirp!

You're a good Back Pocket Dimension Bear slave.

Now give me kisses because I've told you to.

Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

God of Tennis: Though he is alone and a thief

and also selfish, overly emotional, and obsessive...

Chirp! Ooh!

...he does have a little Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear

who truly is a loyal and obedient servant.

Great job, young man.

Get used to saying that, Chair Umpire,

'cause I'm gonna keep on winning these tennis.

Hey! That's my ass seat!

Fly with me!

This may be your most difficult challenge yet, Makasu.

Whoa! Are you saying I'm mentally challenged?

You're truly the most infamous god-relic-thief sportsman

in the entire world.

But be careful.

Defeating these gods will exact a heavier toll

than you're used to. Huh?

When Ekeko dissolved,

his fading life force mixed with yours.

Makasu: [ To himself ] Mix? Like Mixico?

Like a fiesta cheese blend?

I don't know why it happened.

It's not a normal part of tennis, doing a dissolve mix.

And I'm sure it's not a normal part

of most your sports things.

No, it's not. I'm very confused!

Me too, young man.

But I sensed a little bit of Ekeko is within you.

I'm not sure if anything noticeable will happen,

but slowly parts of these gods will become one with you,

and I'm worried about you keeping ahold of yourself.

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Shouldn't be -- Oh-oh-oh!

Was that laughter -- Ekeko's laughter?

Makasu!

I used Ekeko's bounty to make a fabulous crepe meal!

Wait!

If you waste your life wondering if your laughter

is your own or the laugh of an Incan god you've absorbed

after defeating him in tennis --

ahem -- are you truly living?

Theseus' ship.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Ahhh.

If you continuously fix a boat with new wood

until it's all been replaced,

is it the same boat it once was?

Is a boat with the same design,

made of the same pieces discarded from the older ship

during repair of the original ship,

is that that same ship?

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Is it the same boat it once was?

It's -- Aw. I sure love boats.

Is a boat with the same design,

made of the pieces discarded from the older boat,

the same boat that it knew that it could've been one time

when it was being built by the guy

that was building the boat?

I can't keep me

unless I embrace the me I might also become.

Forget everything you ever knew about boats, okay?

This tennis is deadly.

Trust no one.

Not even my Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear?

♪♪

Hey, I'm the Chair Umpire from the anime you're watching,

and I think it's important for you to learn, uh,

a couple pointers 'bout tennis.

Horizontal bobbing can really do damage on your neck,

if you know what I mean.

Come with me.

I've got, uh, important shots that you'll need to understand,

uh, and view, to further appreciate

the volleys that we'll be appreciating

and seeing in Makasu's g-greatest adventure tonight.

This one's called...

This one's called...

This one's called...

Aah!

Some people choose to play tennis on their own,

fashioning a small ball thrower at the other side of the court.

This works with automation and gas.

This one's called...

Notice the thwack.

Wow!

Look at that tennis ball soar.

Truly like a bird of paradise.

It does bong.

This is why tennis.

Here's some disgusting questions.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Pop! ]

Tennis.

Narrator: Fresh from his defeat of Ekeko,

Makasu is led by the God of Tennis

to their next opponent, the Water Goddess Mama Qucha.

But can Makasu resist the temptation

to eat the Lake Titicaca tricky koan.

Tune in next week for "Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu,"

Chapter 2, "Second Set."

♪♪

♪♪

Makasu is the best sportsman of all time,

except when it comes to tennis!

And now Makasu has to become the best tennis sportsman ever!

Makasu is ready for action with his action racket!

I have emotional memories about rackets!

And what's that in his Back Pocket Dimension pocket?

Why, it's Flying Bear!

I'm the God of Tennis, here to monologue!

Never let exposition of playtime go unheard again,

with the God of Tennis and his monologging action!

It is I, the God of Tennis.

As the God of Tennis, I know three things about tennis.

One, the ball is green.

Two, if you hit the ball with a racket, you can win points.

Three, if you win enough points,

you'll win the entire game of tennis.

Tennis is a racket sport

that can be played individually against single players.

Each player has a racket.

Narrator: Why, it's Bendy Rivers,

now with extra face-shaming action

to help deal with all his horrible attempts at life.

I failed again. I'm a failure.

I can't do anything right.

My wife hates me.

It's Chair Umpire!

It's a chair, who's also, in addition, an umpire!

Arr, I'm a chair!

With special chair attributes, imagine the possibilities.

I guess I could... sit on it?

Chair Umpire!

You'll never defeat me with my infinite gifts

in my baskets, Makasu.

Will the infinite gifts inside of Ekeko's many,

many baskets spell the end of Makasu's journey

to be the best sportsman?

Anything is possible with "Gammeu Setto Machu Picchu"

play-action toys.

[ Laughing ] [ Chirping ]

Ha-ha, ha ha.

Whoa. Ha-ha, ha-ha.

Who knew on our journey that we would go to the beach?

Yeah.

Sand! Yes!

It is on our way to our next challenger,

who was found deep in the sea.

Oh, wow.Makasu: Sounds a little spooky to me.

♪♪

Let me go to the cocktail lounge.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Um, three pisco sours.

That's 30 Sol.

Okay.

Sol is the money of Peru.

Uh, oh, okay. Uh, just give me a second.

I gotta find it in my God purse.

Okay, here's our drinks!

Pisco sours, the national drink of Peru!

Wow, native flavors!

God of Tennis, I'm making an ass out of the sand.

It's called the sand ass.

Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp.

Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm using lotion to tan my ass dark brown.

So when I can guess in the sand,

it's my ass or the sand ass making fun in this adventure!

Ohh.

Uh... Huh?

I'm peeing in the water. [ Sighs ]

Ohh. He's peeing.

Chirp.

Ha ha ha! Your flying bear wants to drink my pee water.

I hope we have lots of time during this journey

to do friend activities like this one.

You better not be doing this. Seriously?

Missing your son's 8th grade graduation ceremony?

What? Don't you want me to catch this guy?

A real husband would be able to balance family and his job.

Real husband? I -- I hate these gender roles.

Why don't you get a job?I do have a job.

I make more money than you and still have to come home

and put in emotional labor for your failures

and your needs for your goofy career I once found charming.

Is this why we don't do sex anymore?

Yep! That's why we don't do sex anymore.

Ha ha ha! Now I'm burying myself!

Sweet walnut, hold on, he's entering my trap!

But your son![ Beep ]

Bendy Rivers: Buried in the sand is an elaborate

bubble-making mechanism that will trap him in the sky!

Ha ha ha ha!

♪♪

Oh, my God! I've been trapped!

[ Slurps ]

[ Swallows ] Ahh.

Pretty good pisco sour.

I'm not, like, a big booze drinker.

I don't really drink to get drunk.

I mostly drink, uh, just to fit in.

I don't really hang out with people.

I feel fat now.

I'm gonna put my clothes back on.

[ Waves crashing ]

Chirp!

Mm, mm!

Chirp, mm, chirp, chirp, mm, mm, chirp!

Mm, mm, chirp, chirp!

Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear!

This bubble trouble might be how our adventure comes to an end!

I've got you now!

You, uh -- y-you can't do any escaping now!

Wow, this [bleep] idiot sure wants to capture me.

Uh...

Chirp, chirp, chirp, uh-huh.

You disgusting little bitch boy, whoo! You're right, though.

You could do a handcuff sex role-play using those tools.

BDSM. BDSM. B-B-B-B-BD--

Makasu, you are under INTERPOL spiritual arrest

for the injury of multiple deities

as well as the theft of many sacred relics

and mythological items!

I can't let him catch me and learn

about my back-pocket dimension. Dang.

Relics that include Khanda, the Buddhist and Hindu sword

that cuts through ignorance with wisdom,

Nábrók, the Icelandic death underpants

made from dead man's skin and which is capable

of producing an endless supply of money,

some penis statue from somewhere I don't even know that one.

I feel like people from religions

and all over the world make big penis statues, right?

I-I don't know the significance of the penis statue.

[ Helicopter blades whirring ]

As well as Skidbladnir, the best of all the Viking Ships.

Skidbladnir?! Winky face!

Quick, Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear. Chirp?

Go into my back pocket dimension and grab me Skidbladnir!

Hmm. Chirp! Hmm, hmm. Ahh.

Skidbladnir?!

Ahh! Wait, please!

It's my 8th grader's graduation today and --

Gust Lob Force Stroke!

Aaaahhhh!

Aaahhhh!

Aaahhhh!

♪♪

[ Waves crashing ]

Ooh. Ooh.

It's a good thing you popped his bubble!

Blah, blah, blah. Who cares?

Sonia, I've got some not so great news.

Oh, my God!He used his magical flying Viking boat

to destroy my bubble trap and -- Hold on.

Your son is here. He has something to say.

Dad, I hate you for missing my 8th grade graduation.

Think about it.

Hmm.

Come. We must tube with these inner tubes

to continue on our journey.

Inner tube -- kind of like my colon!

Actually, the colon is a punctuation mark

used to precede a list of items --

marbles, wooden floor, marble shooters, gambling hens.

This is what you would need in a list of marbles, battles, colon.

Sometimes, God of Tennis, you come off like you're full of shit.

He doesn't trust me, but why?

Just like my colon! Ha ha ha ha!

Man. Bitch, let's go tubing.

♪♪

[ Both slurping ]

But also, the colon is actually a name for the large intestine,

or large bowel, and poop travels through that.

That's what I meant earlier by tube and colon.

Do you get that, God of Tennis?

I'm always thrown off by homophones.

♪♪

[ Dialing ]

It's just, like, personally offensive to me

because, like, you haven't cast me in anything that you've done.

No, it's like, come in here and be this super gay phone.

Now, this is some homophobic word play.

♪♪

It's like not --I prefer playing with my ass!

You think you're so funny

because you're just going to make this weird pun.

Hey, there, guys. It's me, Maxime Simonet.

I'm the creator of the animation story you're watching,

and I just wanted to talk to you guys

about what I like to do comedically,

which sometimes is justified puns.

Homophone, as we've seen,

is this little effeminate phone is what I wrote in the script.

But, you know, clearly, it's a gay phone,

and I know it's not the most politically correct,

but I thought, like, putting -- Taking the word homophone

and then making a homosexual phone

was kind of a fantastical little way of

just putting things together, making a little funny world

to -- You know, imagination is really important.

And, in fact, the whole title of this piece,

Gemmusetto Machu Picchu: "Game Set Match"

translated into Japanese is actually, like,

from what I can tell on Google Translate, is Gemmusetto Machu.

And Machu Picchu, of course, the Incan landmark.

Tennis -- game, set, match.

This project is just justifying all those three puzzle pieces together.

The title came first.

I had a friend who told me, "Oh, Max,

where do you get off making a project

that's using, like, a Japanese art style,

the culture of South America?"

that no -- in now way belongs to me or represents me.

And tennis I don't even know about.

I just want to say, like,

I don't think this is like the movie "Mulan,"

where I'm, like, showing what I think China is like.

You know, this isn't a real representation of anything.

It's kind of just a collage, artistic little fantasy world

we can get indulged in, and it's my epic piece.

It's a life-defining creative piece of mine,

and, in the end, I think I'm going to get rid of the joke

with the gay phone

that we just had with the gay phone.

Shit, I'm drooling again.

[ Slurps ]

See, a lot of this is making sense now to me

because the Lake Titicaca Tricky Colon,

I always wondering why isn't it shaped like two dots

but it's named after the colon in the body.

The Trickery Colon?

Yes, a lake-dwelling underwater monster

that looks like a big fleshy tube.

A deadly beast.

Whoa! The tricky colon!

Oh, my God!

♪♪

God of Tennis, I'm getting queasy!

[ Gags ]

[ Belches ]

There, there. Surely it's getting tired.

Youch! I'm being squished!

Please use your tennis magic

to zap us out of here to someplace.

My powers are useless at sea for reasons too arbitrary to name.

Only a sea deity can help us now,

and I doubt Mama Cocha is on our side,

seeing as she's most likely heard a word of Ekeko's doe-fuh.

That's it! We need Diktynna!

Diktynna?Cretan Goddess of Nets!

Ancient fisher boys, sailors, and fisher boys

drew from her power.

You're not friends with the nets god lady?

Gods don't just all hang out as friends, you know.

Well, lucky for us, when I stormed the Greek Isles

and defeated all of their gods in the game of foosball,

the table sport, I managed to concentrate

all of Diktynna's essence into this beaker!

[ Groans ]

I summon the spirit of Diktynna!

[ Echoing ] Pop inside me, Dikky T's!

I am your vessel!

♪♪

Aah! Oh!

God of Tenni-i-i-i-i-i...

Makasu-u-u-u-u! ...i-i-s!

[ Groans ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Sighs ]

Can you believe what I just did? How I transformed?

That was like Tetsuo from "Akira" the film.

Yeah, whatever, babe.

Poor creature.

Tricky Colon is far afield from its freshwater home.

Whoa! Tastes like meringue!

Like sugary egg whites.

Whoa! Like sweet sperm. Whoa!

Makasu, stop that!

You will anger Mama Cocha even more!

Hmm. Five major rivers empty into Titicaca.

None of them reach the sea.

This means Tricky Colon emerged from the waters,

scrambled down the Andes, crossed highways and railroads,

braved the Thicket of Hard Plastic Things,

all to battle us.

There are forces that -- Makasu!

I told you not to eat the colon.

Why do you always eat the colon?

Mmm. Me and you are a team, tummy.

Makasu, as I feared, you have angered Mama Cocha.

We need to go below deck.

I ate the entire tricky colon, and I feel sick.

So, actually, I feel like I need to sit down more.

Okay? Makasu.

Sorry. Makasu.

Okay? Makasu!

Whoa! Whoa whoa!

Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho!

Whoa! Ooh-hoo!

Makasu!

[ Groaning ]

My word,

the tricky colon is expanding from his insides!

Woop. Woop. Woop. Woop.

Mmm.

The beast has completely filled most of his cavities.

He's gonna -- Whoa!

[ Groaning ]

Makasu, you must purge!

Purge!

No! Don't shake your head! You must purge!

Chirp.

Hmm, chirp. Chirp!

Ugh, ugh, ugh. Ugh!

[ Coin jingles ]

Boom.

[ Regurgitating ]

[ Laughs ]

I've got you. I've got you.

Both: We've got us.

♪ There's no other way to say

♪ I'd hold you till the end of days ♪

♪ When rights are wrong ♪ And songs are called

♪ We'll spin and hold

Oh, wow. I'm dying.

I'm on the ground now, trying to flop.

Oh, and I -- I can't swim...

...because I'm on the ground.

Oh, dang! What? There's a hole in this water!

This is terrible!Yeah, same here.

Sure is a shitty time to be one of us fish.

Shoot.

Guys, me, too!

Shoot!

♪♪

All: ♪ We are dead fish on the ground ♪

♪ We've come out the water, and now we're drowned ♪

Shoot!

Me, too, guys.

I guess...this is where.... my next challenge

is...going to be.

Hello!

♪♪

Aah!

It is me again, your favorite chair umpire,

The Chair Umpire!

Chair Umpire? Aah!

Where is Mama Cocha? She brought us down here,

nearly killing Makasu in the process!

Well, I'm gonna summon the tennis court now!

[ Chanting ]

♪♪

Oh, wow! Chair Umpire is very talented, for a chair!

[ Chants ]

Mama Cocha!

Hi!

Hmm.

♪♪

Mama Cocha --

M.A.M.A.

C.O.C.H.A.

or M.A.M.A.

Q.U.C.H.A.

In the northern stretches of the Republic of Peru,

the Inca people worshipped many gods

that shared common functions

across different regions of the civilization.

At a certain point, however, they reached an agreement

and designated a name for each god.

In this unification process,

Mama Cocha was created from all the deities

who represented various aspects of water.

She's said to be the wife of Viracocha,

who was the creator deity

and once the most important god in the Inca pantheon

before he was demoted, in a way, by emperor Pachacuti,

who declared Viracocha and Mama Cocha's son,

Inti, the Sun God, was the most important.

Representing a primary element,

Mama Cocha was a very important goddess,

especially venerated along coastal areas

in Peru by fishermen.

She was said to calm the water and create opportunities

for the best fishing conditions by averting storms,

leading to her veneration

as a protector of fisherman and sailors.

In the cases of aquatic disasters,

she was said to offer relief.

If a tsunami or a storm or flood

were to hurt a group of people,

Mama Cocha cared for them and helped them recover.

Some regions of the empire believed

that she was the goddess for all bodies of water --

rivers, lakes, even water courses

and reservoirs that were human-made.

The beliefs surrounding Mama Cocha

and other water-related deities

suggest that the Incans understood the basics

of the hydrological cycle.

They understood that the rain came from

already present bodies of water

and that the sea fueled the rain,

which would then fall all over the ground.

Water being scarce in the Andes mountains

required the Incans and Pre-Inca civilizations

to construct reservoirs and canals for irrigation.

Transporting water from springs

and places that experienced higher volumes of rain

to areas with low rainfall

in order to irrigate the soil and maintain livestock

was vital to the preservation of their people.

The Spanish colonists who conquered the Inca

noted that they had many complex canals and aqueducts

to bring water from high elevation areas

to lower, agricultural settlements.

The sanctity of water and its connection to the spiritual

shows that the Inca understood the ecological factors

that sustain and create life.

Without rain, they have no working farms.

Without Mama Cocha calming the sea, they have no fish.

Through military might, they may have conquered

the areas around the Andes,

but with water, they sustain themselves.

♪♪

[ Growling ]

I felt your foreign stink on my sea

the minute your dirty feet dipped in.

You got a problem with my feet smells?

No!

[ Choking ]

I've got a problem with you fishing beasts without my blessing!

Mama Cocha, the Tricky Colon attacked us first!

And it doesn't even belong in these waters!

Imposter! Imposter!

The Tricky Colon was suffering at your hands!

What? Have you been summoning

all manner of creatures into the sea?

My babies! They must be here and ready!

[ Screeches ]

Even indulging your challenge to me

has killed these poor babies.

Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies!

But you will not survive a tennis match with me, intruder!

Hmm, Hmm!

The water here will drown you in the sorrow of my sea children!

Hmph!

♪♪

I am the water.

And it is me!

You're full of me!

And it is all the same,

from liquid lining your insides

to the craters and puddles on land.

And you dare to tell me what my children,

what the Tricky Colon, where he should live?

You don't know water!

Hmm.

[ Water dripping ]

I'm very wet now and very disappointed.

You are even madder than Ekeko was.

My friends, my new family - broken.

Broken?

♪♪

A close-up sneer? What could she be planning?

♪♪

Hyah![ Buzzer sounds ]

Huh? 15-love.

Huh? Damn it!

Makasu -- her balls are made of pure water,

and your racket doesn't have the power to return her serves!

That makes no sense okay, man? What -- Damn it!

Okay, that makes no sense. All right? Hello?

I don't understand what you're saying.

Just serve the ball again.

You can't trick me, I got tennis.

Hee-hee.

[ Grunts ]

Hyah!

What? 30-love!

But how the hell did this just do it? But how?

I literally just told you what's happening.

I know, but it -- You know, I've just --

I don't know, I've seen a lot of crazy stuff, okay?

God of Tennis, but water balls going through rackets?

That's not regulation, man.

Eeh, eeh, ahh.

All these, you know, what?

What is happening? Time out!

Aah!

Could I go to the break room and get a cold drink?

[ Slurping ]

[ Swallows ] Mmm.

♪♪

Ah.

♪♪

All right, Mama Cocha. I'm ready for your serve now.

You sure? [ Laughs ]

You're probably gonna lose.

God of Tennis: Makasu looks a little different after he's spent the time

in the break room getting a cold drink.

What is he up to?

30-love was the score of points, was it not?

30-love, intruder.

Why don't you test that theory of yours,

where you win? Errr!

♪♪

Ah, tennis hit!

Huh?[ Buzzer sounds ]

30-15!How did you --

Yeah! Huah! Ugh.

Ugh, yeah, ugh, huah.

Simple -- In the break room, I wasn't just drinking cold drink.

I was doing way more, Mama Coach!

I was also preparing my racket!

I couldn't return any ball

that just goes through the racket's mesh.

I had to figure out how to fill up those little holes!

So I used ice cubes from the ice maker in the freezer.

Ice cubes, little 3-dimensional squares of frozen water

fitting perfectly into the holes of the racket's mesh.

But that's not all.

There was a secret to putting my ice cubes in the racket.

Hmm! That's right.

He couldn't just leave the cubes in his racket.

He would've had to keep the racket

completely vertical to hold them in there.

Any rotational movement would have had them

falling out on the ground.

So, I went with my gut.

Makasu, you must purge! Purge!

Whuuu whu whuu whuuu whaauh!

No! Don't shake your head! You must purge!

I couldn't purge easily then, no,

not until my Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear

went into my throat and triggered my gag reflex.

But since then, I have not been able to stop

feeling like I've got to puke!Whuuh!

So I covered up the racket with vomited-up pisco sours

and then left it in the freezer to hold the ice cubes in.

And that's why I was gone for a whole hour and 23 minutes.

A whole hour and 16 minutes.

That's why I was gone so long.

But now it holds all the ice cubes in.

Neat trick, huh? Yes!

Ice Cube glistening Peruvian

racket trick technique cocktail vomit! Yes!

Solid enough to hit balls of water back!

Aah, you conniving foreigner!

[ Growls ]

My babies!

Slap!

Bone-zo!

Slap that animal!

Aah!

[ Gurgling ]

Blech, now, this makes me --

Chyron: Game, set, match.

♪♪

[ Siren wailing ]

♪♪

The Kali Yuga is, like, so totally bogus,

but I guess I'll like, amenitize the eschaton, whatever.

Oh, thanks PopSoppler for the extra bits.

Cutie -- he says, "Gangroin, you're gorgeous.

Please amenitize my pleasure fruit."

That's very cute.

They call me the prince of trouble. I'm the prince of trouble.

Police Scanner: A thick demon is spoiling the Possinop Metrop'.

We need an &658.3 on the square eunuch.

Roger, dodger.

We got a trip six on the upper-up-side.

Heading over now.

I like it when you talk like a cop.

The wind is in my face. Ugh! We're close.

I feel the moist.

I'm chewin' on some collagen.

Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh!

[ Feedback ]

Pardon me, miss. Hello?

[ Clears throat ] Pwease, mommy, respond uwu.

All right, girls and boys.

I'm going to equip male nipple nipple.

Computer: Male nipple activating.

♪♪

My, my, you little freaks love male nipple nipple today.

Oh, what's this?

MopKlopperDoppo tips with the message,

"You're the ray of light in my life."

Male nipple throb town.

Aah!

No! I, uh -- ugh!

Oh, you stinker, you friggin' stinker.

I am gonna ring you up like mayonnaise, shawty.

Stop tamperin' with evidence!Oh!

Aah! No! No!

You're a loose floppabopbot.

Of course you'd resort to this garbage.

Aah!Keep singing your ceiling's praises, honey.

I'm not moving! Please!

In regards to the OverChurch's ordinance,

Sunlight-D is not to be given without a prescription.

Online solicitation of the seduced

to widen their light dosage is against the law.

And who got a nonorganic like you a cache of D anyways?

Hold up, she -- Aah!

What the...?

Gangrene: Whoever thought a city in the Pacific Ocean was a good idea?

You'd figure if anyone had played "Bioshock," they'd get that.

But maybe the lens of that video game

is more of an anti-objectivist stance

about the dangers of no regulation

and not about the fatal truth.

Our utopia, our scientific haven,

a world for organics and nonorganics

who lived outside conventional lines,

it lacked what one could only describe,

metaphorically, as hope, light.

The sea darkness made man sick.

And the OverChurch controlled the light

and...

Uh...

This sucks.

I vow to never use my throat again

in this whole journey for anything.

Oh.

What is this landmark?

This world, the Under Andes,

is cosmically linked with the overworld of mortals.

It is an in-between state taking us

to the lower Ukhu Pacha.

Cool.

But what is this landmark!?

The Amaru, a beast said to live underground,

rips through the Under Andes

as it finds its way to its subterranean home in your world.

But what is this landmark?

The Amaru --

But what is this landmark?

The gateway of the sun.

You can say it's an interplanetary sister

of the same monument found in Bolivia.

Wow, the Under Andes are a sort of mirror South America.

Hmm, that's very funny.

Cool.

But what is this --

It's crazy how much the space in between space matters.

Truly more than meets the eyes.

Ha ha ha. You got that from Megaman.

Megam-- no, no, Megaman is the blue guy.

I mean the one with the cars,

the Japanese Sex Cars -- Japanese sex --

ah, Japanese sex cars.

Japanese sex vehic--

As we go forth, time and space

are going to make less and less sense,

in the traditional ways you're used to.

Autobang. Something like automobiles.

Transforming automobile friends?

Are you even listening to me, Makasu?

Mama Cocha almost ripped you to shreds in the water vortex

and then tricked you with liquid tennis balls!

I'm just trying to prepare you because I care.

Bitch, I know you care. Listen, bitch.

The one thing I've learned from my career

as doing what I do, which is playing against gods in sports,

is that you can't expect anything.

This status quo of yours of fantastical nonsense

underneath South America may be all hoodie doodie to you,

but you wouldn't survive a goose-[bleep] minute

as a mortal.

You know I've been through tough times, you know this.

You know it, that I have,

but there's also things you don't know.

And sure, Mama Cocha's water balls

might have freaked me out for a second

and I had a little breakdown there,

but at least I know from all the wild, wild worlds

and worlds in between worlds and all the things out there

that I'm supposed to be thrown off.

If I'm gonna do this, I'm going to be thrown off.

I am listening, God of Tennis, but I'll figure it out.

I always do.

Ah, God. Water?!

Don't worry about me, please.

His confidence in the face of all of this,

the balancing of his fears, conquering sad memories

and sticking to what he started,

making his decision to take this on,

despite everything that told him he wasn't good enough at tennis,

despite the memories of his grandfather...

...Pencil eraser there, like some --

do we have any, like, little nubs?

...he is a truly force to be afraid of.

Bleat!

Spit, spit, bleat!

Chirp!

Okay, your new challenger is Urcuchillay!

This guy!

Urcuchillay.

U.R.C.U.C.H.I.L.L.A.Y.

Urcuchillay was the tutelary deity of Inca herders

and was believed to be a llama who watched over all animals.

He was seen to be essential for the well-being

and reproduction of their herds.

The Inca believed constellations

were special patrons of certain animals or activities,

and thus, stellar deities were a commonly-held belief.

Urcuchillay was the constellation

western astronomers know as Lyra.

Ancient Egyptians would represent the constellation as a vulture

and, in India, as an eagle or a vulture.

Seeing as the Inca had no cows, sheep, chickens, or goats,

their only domesticated animals were alpacas,

guinea pigs, and llamas.

Llamas were especially important,

as they provided clothing, food,

and were also their beasts of burden.

Additionally, they were sacrificed in very large numbers

as tribute to the gods.

The llama was the most popular Andean camelid

in stories and rituals

due to its extensive presence across the Andes and lower areas

compared to the alpaca, guanaco, and vicuña.

It also was the only camelid useful as a work animal

or to carry heavy loads and a source of edible meat,

as well as having manure that served as fertilizer.

Despite being replaced over time by cows and donkeys

for meat and transport respectively,

the llama has continued to be used for long trips in the Andes

and is a symbol of Peruvian identity.

It made it possible to take fish from the ocean

up to emperors higher in the mountains.

The llama was so vital to the Inca,

one of the most important dark cloud constellations

of their culture was the yacana, the llama.

It rises above Cuzco, the capital city,

in November and consists of two llamas,

a mother and a baby suckling at her breast.

One of the eyes of the mother llama is Alpha Centauri,

the third brightest star in the night sky.

And the other is Beta Centauri.

Two bright star systems among the dark cloud

constellation body of the mother llama.

Llamas mate with the female in a lying-down position,

called a kush position.

They also mate for up to 45 minutes.

The females are induced ovulators,

which is when an animal ovulates due to external stimuli

during or just prior to mating.

The female doesn't produce eggs cyclically,

rather, does so when mated with

and is usually fertilized on the first try.

Being such a profoundly important beast of burden

and cultural icon,

it's no wonder there was reverence to a deity

that was said to ensure the safety and propagation

of a llama herd.

Urcuchillay.

♪♪

Bleat. Spit.

Bleat, spit, spit, spit, bleat, spit on the ground.

Man, I'm used to gods hating me,

but this Urcuchillay guy seems real pissed!

Yes. I didn't know him well, and he was always weird,

and he just talks like that.

Bleat, spit, bleat, spit, spit, spit, bleat!

Bleat!

Quick! Jump on my llama!Huaah!

Now I will cut off the llama's legs so we can fly away.

♪♪

♪♪

Bleat, bleat, bleat,

spit, spit, bleat, spit.

Bleat, spit, spit, bleat.

Bleat, bleat, bleat.

Slap that animal!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Bleat, bleat, bleat, spit, spit, bleat.

Bleat, spit.

Bleat, bleat, spit, bleat, spit.

Bleat, spit, spit, spit, bleat, bleat, bleat.

Bleat, spit, bleat, bleat, bleat, spit.

Spit, bleat, bleat, spit, spit, spit, bleat.

Uh...spit, bleat.

Spit, spit, spit, spit, bleat.

Bleat, spit, spit, bleat, bleat, spit, spit.

You know what? I'm pretty sure I don't understand Llama language from this.

Chirp, chirp, chirp.[ Laughter ]

Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp. Oh, boy.

You're so right about how much of an idiot

this llama guy sounds like...

Chirp! Chirp, chirp....when -- when he's saying this.

Chirp.I've never heard someone deconstruct every aspect

of how much of an idiot Urcuchillay the llama herd god

sounds like when he talks,

but your little Back Pocket Dimension Flying Bear servant

sure has some biting insights. [ Chuckles ]

[ Snorts ] Bleat, bleat.

Hmm.

♪♪

Bleat.

Wow. Got to...

jump! Jump!

Ha ha, jumping!

[ Coughing ]

I guess he's ready to challe--

I'm raw because I puked a lot.

And also, I pulled cigarettes out of my stomach.

[ Gagging ]

Yeah! Wait!

Who knows what he's got up those weird footy hoofies?

True, his two strange feet are weird.

♪ Damn, what?

♪ Oh, my God

♪ Lord help us

♪ Oh, my God

♪ Okay, oh, my God

♪ Yeah, praise our lord

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Help, yeah, fault, help

[ Indistinct singing ]

♪♪

♪ I pull up with my tennis racket ♪

♪ I make that racket, yeah

♪ Pull up in that muh

♪ I got that pack, yeah

♪ Everybody wanna know

♪ I did it, now

♪ Everybody wanna know

♪ I did it, now

♪ Venus, Serena, I got my penis on my necklace ♪

[ Indistinct singing ]

♪♪