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1
00:00:01,837 --> 00:00:04,843
‐ ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
2
00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:08,885
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
3
00:00:08,951 --> 00:00:12,959
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
4
00:00:13,026 --> 00:00:16,967
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
5
00:00:17,034 --> 00:00:21,075
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
6
00:00:21,142 --> 00:00:23,514
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
7
00:00:23,581 --> 00:00:24,516
‐ [laughs]
8
00:00:24,583 --> 00:00:25,652
Ooh! [growls]
9
00:00:25,718 --> 00:00:27,121
‐ Mommy!
‐ Aaaaaaah!
10
00:00:27,187 --> 00:00:29,225
‐ Duncan!
‐ Duncan!
11
00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:34,135
[indistinct chatter]
12
00:00:42,351 --> 00:00:44,623
‐ You know, this is gonna be
an extra special Witch Day
13
00:00:44,690 --> 00:00:48,965
because it's Friday the 13th
with a full blood moon.
14
00:00:49,031 --> 00:00:50,902
[laughs evilly]
15
00:00:50,969 --> 00:00:53,106
‐ [screams, panting]
Oh!
16
00:00:53,173 --> 00:00:55,177
‐ It's okay, Jing, a blood moon
17
00:00:55,243 --> 00:00:56,680
just means the moon's
so close to the Earth,
18
00:00:56,747 --> 00:00:59,385
it looks like it's dripping
in blood.
19
00:00:59,452 --> 00:01:01,690
[both laugh evilly]
20
00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:02,926
‐ [screams]
21
00:01:02,993 --> 00:01:06,232
‐ Ah, traumatizing your kids‐‐
a Witch Day tradition.
22
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,436
‐ Dad, how's my Witch Day booth
coming along?
23
00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:10,575
‐ What? You told me you were
gonna build it yourself
24
00:01:10,642 --> 00:01:13,046
and to keep my greasy
fingernails out of it.
25
00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:15,417
‐ Yeah, but I figured
you'd do it anyway.
26
00:01:15,484 --> 00:01:18,123
And now you're telling me
you haven't even started?
27
00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:20,427
How could you do this to me?
I trusted you.
28
00:01:20,494 --> 00:01:22,231
‐ So sorry.
I'll get right on it.
29
00:01:22,297 --> 00:01:24,903
‐ No, Jack, if she wants to be
a little businesswoman
30
00:01:24,970 --> 00:01:26,372
and sell her witchy potions
31
00:01:26,439 --> 00:01:30,515
and do‐dads and whatever
hell broth is at the carnival,
32
00:01:30,581 --> 00:01:32,986
she's got to stop being
so irresponsible.
33
00:01:33,053 --> 00:01:35,223
She didn't even
take out the trash.
34
00:01:36,259 --> 00:01:37,662
Shoo!
[bear huffs]
35
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:42,304
‐ When are we leaving?
36
00:01:42,371 --> 00:01:43,774
I'm meeting my friends
at the fair.
37
00:01:43,841 --> 00:01:45,177
both: And Mia?
38
00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:46,245
‐ I don't know.
She might be there.
39
00:01:46,312 --> 00:01:49,285
I'm not her keeper, okay?
God, come on. Let's go.
40
00:01:51,055 --> 00:01:52,191
‐ Want a little Jack Hack
41
00:01:52,257 --> 00:01:55,531
on getting your first Lip Smack
from Mia at the carnival?
42
00:01:55,598 --> 00:01:56,767
‐ God, no.
43
00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:58,771
‐ Take her to the haunted house
when she's good and scared.
44
00:01:58,838 --> 00:01:59,539
You throw your scrawny,
45
00:01:59,606 --> 00:02:00,975
toneless arm around her
and say,
46
00:02:01,042 --> 00:02:03,848
"It's okay, baby.
The D‐man's here."
47
00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:06,285
Then set your lips to stun.
48
00:02:06,352 --> 00:02:09,125
‐ Mom, Dad's telling me
how to make moves on Mia.
49
00:02:09,191 --> 00:02:11,162
‐ Jack, let him go
at his own pace.
50
00:02:11,229 --> 00:02:12,932
He's a sexual late bloomer.
51
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,671
‐ [scoffs]
No, I'm not. You are.
52
00:02:21,784 --> 00:02:23,419
[bird chirping]
53
00:02:23,486 --> 00:02:25,223
‐ And to your right
is Ol' Oakie,
54
00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:26,660
which is the cute name
for the tree
55
00:02:26,727 --> 00:02:29,165
where they hung all those
falsely accused witches.
56
00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:32,471
They say if you listen close,
you can still hear 'em scream.
57
00:02:32,539 --> 00:02:34,609
[all whimper]
But we don't have time for that
58
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:37,347
because we got free churros
and Build‐A‐Broom.
59
00:02:37,414 --> 00:02:39,553
We're walking.
We're walking.
60
00:02:41,055 --> 00:02:42,525
[all gasp]
61
00:02:42,592 --> 00:02:44,395
‐ I hope you were paying
attention, Kimberly,
62
00:02:44,461 --> 00:02:46,667
because next year
you're welding this yourself.
63
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:49,673
‐ But you in that welding mask
is so empowering, Mom.
64
00:02:49,739 --> 00:02:50,908
‐ You think so?
65
00:02:50,975 --> 00:02:54,081
Well, I've always
fancied myself a girl boss.
66
00:02:54,148 --> 00:02:57,020
‐ Okay, coven,
let's sell some potions.
67
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,064
‐ What are the active
ingredients
68
00:03:02,130 --> 00:03:03,166
in this hair potion?
69
00:03:03,233 --> 00:03:04,970
‐ Suave shampoo and glitter.
70
00:03:05,036 --> 00:03:07,274
‐ I'll roll the dice.
71
00:03:08,343 --> 00:03:11,048
‐ [gasps]
Jack, look, its Huxter,
72
00:03:11,115 --> 00:03:13,419
the abomination
that swept the nation.
73
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:14,990
Half cat, half pig,
74
00:03:15,056 --> 00:03:16,158
all Huxter.
75
00:03:16,225 --> 00:03:19,198
‐ This is the year I win you.
76
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:21,135
‐ You say that
every year, Jack.
77
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:26,345
‐ This is the year
I'm winning Huxter.
78
00:03:26,412 --> 00:03:27,515
But this year is different.
79
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,953
Remember all those nights
I told you I was working late?
80
00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:32,859
Well, instead, I took
our kitchen remodel money
81
00:03:32,926 --> 00:03:34,061
and went to the arcade
82
00:03:34,128 --> 00:03:35,998
to practice
the milk bottle toss.
83
00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:38,804
‐ You lied to me?
84
00:03:38,871 --> 00:03:41,042
That's so sweet.
85
00:03:41,108 --> 00:03:43,514
Kimberly, watch Jing
for an hour while we fulfill
86
00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:45,785
a lifelong dream
of owning a stuffed animal.
87
00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:48,289
‐ But I wanna spend time
with my friends.
88
00:03:48,356 --> 00:03:51,128
‐ Friends come and go.
Sisters are forever.
89
00:03:51,195 --> 00:03:52,197
And these three will ghost you
90
00:03:52,264 --> 00:03:54,869
as soon
as they find a boyfriend.
91
00:03:54,936 --> 00:03:56,238
‐ Oh, like you won't.
92
00:03:56,305 --> 00:03:59,278
‐ Come on, Jack.
Let's go find Huxter.
93
00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:02,317
‐ Yay!
I'm in your coven, Kimberly.
94
00:04:02,384 --> 00:04:04,088
I'll be a good helper
because when I mix potions,
95
00:04:04,154 --> 00:04:05,357
I go like this.
96
00:04:05,423 --> 00:04:07,762
♪ I am Jing,
I'm mixing ♪
97
00:04:07,829 --> 00:04:09,899
♪ Lalala! ♪
98
00:04:09,966 --> 00:04:11,837
Oops, sorry.
‐ Hm.
99
00:04:13,439 --> 00:04:16,379
‐ Let me sit on the end
'cause I'm for sure ralphing.
100
00:04:16,445 --> 00:04:18,182
‐ Fasten those safety bars.
101
00:04:18,249 --> 00:04:19,819
Keep your arms and legs inside
at all times
102
00:04:19,886 --> 00:04:22,057
and enjoy The Scrambler.
103
00:04:22,124 --> 00:04:25,063
[hard rock music playing]
104
00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,232
‐ Are we moving at all?
105
00:04:26,298 --> 00:04:29,739
‐ Time to crank it up to turbo!
106
00:04:29,806 --> 00:04:30,875
‐ [grunts]
107
00:04:33,212 --> 00:04:34,415
‐ Come on.
Let's hit the haunted house.
108
00:04:34,481 --> 00:04:36,252
It ain't Witch Day
till I'm chased
109
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,022
by an alcoholic
with a chainsaw.
110
00:04:38,089 --> 00:04:39,859
‐ I love haunted houses.
111
00:04:39,926 --> 00:04:42,130
When I'm scared,
I just lose control.
112
00:04:42,197 --> 00:04:44,301
I will jump on
whatever is next to me.
113
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:47,775
‐ [gasps]
Me go there now fast.
114
00:04:47,842 --> 00:04:49,478
Hydration station?
115
00:04:49,546 --> 00:04:51,115
What happened
to the haunted house?
116
00:04:51,182 --> 00:04:53,854
‐ Well, after we accidentally
hired that sex offender
117
00:04:53,921 --> 00:04:56,258
and gave him a machete,
the judge made us turn it into
118
00:04:56,325 --> 00:04:58,597
a hydration station
for the elderly.
119
00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:01,570
‐ Oh, I hate my life!
‐ Damn, D.
120
00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:04,341
They just trying to keep
old people moist and all that.
121
00:05:04,408 --> 00:05:07,047
‐ No, I came up with
this brilliant Jack Hack
122
00:05:07,114 --> 00:05:08,884
to get my first Lip Smack.
123
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,959
I take Mia somewhere scary,
protect her,
124
00:05:13,025 --> 00:05:16,533
and maybe she gives me a kiss
and we get married one day.
125
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,871
I don't know.
‐ Oh, no problem.
126
00:05:18,937 --> 00:05:22,210
I know a place so scary,
127
00:05:22,277 --> 00:05:25,985
no one's dared to enter
in years.
128
00:05:26,051 --> 00:05:27,788
[dramatic music]
129
00:05:27,855 --> 00:05:30,059
[wind whooshing]
130
00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:31,228
[thunder booms]
131
00:05:31,295 --> 00:05:33,166
‐ That is some
well‐timed lightning.
132
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:36,806
[indistinct chatter]
133
00:05:36,873 --> 00:05:39,411
‐ [gasps]
It's the Coding Boys.
134
00:05:39,478 --> 00:05:42,217
I heard they all designed
their own apps.
135
00:05:42,284 --> 00:05:44,556
‐ Geeks are the new rock stars.
136
00:05:45,658 --> 00:05:47,160
‐ They're coming.
They're coming. They're coming.
137
00:05:47,227 --> 00:05:48,730
Look smart.
138
00:05:48,797 --> 00:05:50,968
What sort of potion
are you looking for today?
139
00:05:51,035 --> 00:05:52,070
Perhaps true love?
140
00:05:52,137 --> 00:05:53,840
‐ Do you have something
for an upset stomach?
141
00:05:53,907 --> 00:05:56,478
‐ Sorry, we witches don't
make potions for tummy aches.
142
00:05:56,546 --> 00:05:59,484
Good luck with your gas.
Bye!
143
00:05:59,552 --> 00:06:02,123
‐ One of them could be
the next Jeff Bezos,
144
00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:04,361
aka the hottest man alive.
145
00:06:04,428 --> 00:06:05,965
‐ Jing, you're not qualified
to be a witch.
146
00:06:06,031 --> 00:06:09,071
You didn't take the 12‐minute
online course like we did.
147
00:06:09,137 --> 00:06:10,608
‐ I can get qualified.
148
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:13,045
Mommy said I have 15 minutes
of screen time left.
149
00:06:13,112 --> 00:06:14,181
Shoot me the link.
150
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:16,418
‐ We don't want you
in our coven.
151
00:06:16,485 --> 00:06:18,322
You need to sit over there
by that tree
152
00:06:18,389 --> 00:06:20,159
and not touch anything
or say anything
153
00:06:20,226 --> 00:06:21,262
until Mom comes to get you.
154
00:06:21,328 --> 00:06:22,632
‐ Can I breathe?
155
00:06:22,698 --> 00:06:24,434
‐ I better not hear it.
156
00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:26,873
‐ [somberly]
♪ Lalala ♪
157
00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:28,409
♪ I'm sitting ♪
158
00:06:28,476 --> 00:06:31,549
♪ I am Jing ♪
159
00:06:32,752 --> 00:06:33,987
Huh?
160
00:06:34,054 --> 00:06:35,256
[soft tense music]
161
00:06:35,323 --> 00:06:37,193
[gasps]
The blood moon!
162
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:43,139
♪ ♪
163
00:06:43,205 --> 00:06:45,811
♪ I am Jing, I am scared ♪
164
00:06:47,247 --> 00:06:49,351
‐ [shrieks]
165
00:06:49,418 --> 00:06:51,088
‐ Shut up, Jing!
166
00:06:51,155 --> 00:06:52,390
‐ That wasn't me.
167
00:06:52,457 --> 00:06:54,394
‐ Sisters.
Am I right?
168
00:06:54,461 --> 00:06:56,700
‐ My mommy told me not
to talk to strangers.
169
00:06:56,766 --> 00:06:59,872
But you don't have a white van,
so hi, I'm Jing.
170
00:06:59,939 --> 00:07:00,941
♪ Lalala ♪
171
00:07:01,008 --> 00:07:02,678
‐ I heard you want
to be a witch.
172
00:07:02,745 --> 00:07:05,483
It just so happens
I'm a Tree Witch,
173
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:08,122
and I can make you one too.
174
00:07:08,189 --> 00:07:09,458
‐ Yay!
Shoot me the link.
175
00:07:09,525 --> 00:07:11,763
‐ No link.
You need a wand.
176
00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:15,169
Snap off one of my branches.
Any branch.
177
00:07:15,236 --> 00:07:17,675
No, I pee out of that one.
178
00:07:17,742 --> 00:07:21,181
Just kidding.
[both laugh]
179
00:07:21,248 --> 00:07:22,585
‐ How do I use this?
180
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,922
‐ Think about
what you want most
181
00:07:24,989 --> 00:07:27,995
then point that wand
and shoot.
182
00:07:28,062 --> 00:07:29,131
[bird chirps]
183
00:07:29,197 --> 00:07:30,834
‐ Candy.
184
00:07:34,842 --> 00:07:35,711
Huh.
185
00:07:35,778 --> 00:07:37,548
Kimberly and her dumb coven
can't do that.
186
00:07:37,615 --> 00:07:39,585
I'm gonna go show my friends.
187
00:07:39,652 --> 00:07:42,758
‐ ♪ You are Jing, magic king ♪
188
00:07:42,825 --> 00:07:44,996
Damn.
Now it's stuck in my head.
189
00:07:49,004 --> 00:07:52,110
‐ "Shark Tank" makes being
the kid entrepreneur look fun,
190
00:07:52,177 --> 00:07:53,012
but this blows.
191
00:07:53,078 --> 00:07:54,715
‐ Want to go see
the bearded baby?
192
00:07:54,782 --> 00:07:56,886
‐ Sure.
I bet he's walking this year.
193
00:07:56,953 --> 00:07:58,322
I'll get Jing.
194
00:07:58,389 --> 00:08:00,059
Huh! Jing?
195
00:08:00,126 --> 00:08:02,197
Jing? Oh, crap.
196
00:08:02,263 --> 00:08:05,036
If Mom finds out I told Jing
to get lost and she did,
197
00:08:05,102 --> 00:08:08,209
she's gonna find some way
to blame me.
198
00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:11,181
[tense music]
199
00:08:11,248 --> 00:08:13,653
♪ ♪
200
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,724
‐ Now legend has it
in the early 2000s,
201
00:08:15,791 --> 00:08:18,597
this was a thriving hub
for your electronic needs
202
00:08:18,663 --> 00:08:20,934
until one night legend
has it the assistant manager
203
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,573
Gordy Hamilton discovered
you could buy electronics
204
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,311
on the internet and,
blu‐blam, killed himself.
205
00:08:26,378 --> 00:08:27,581
Legend has it his spirit
206
00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:29,652
still wanders
the aisles exacting revenge
207
00:08:29,719 --> 00:08:31,589
on anyone who took
their business elsewhere.
208
00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:33,158
Or at least legend
has it or whatever.
209
00:08:33,225 --> 00:08:35,229
‐ [screams]
210
00:08:35,296 --> 00:08:37,267
Season three
of "Chuck" on DVD.
211
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:39,605
I'm getting out of here, man!
212
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:42,010
‐ What the hell is that?
213
00:08:42,076 --> 00:08:43,279
[grunts]
214
00:08:43,345 --> 00:08:45,617
[balloon whizzes]
215
00:08:45,684 --> 00:08:47,353
‐ Mia, are you freaking out?
216
00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:48,990
It's okay if you freak out
217
00:08:49,057 --> 00:08:51,663
'cause I'm here for you
and I'm feeling really strong.
218
00:08:51,729 --> 00:08:53,867
‐ The only scary thing
are these prices.
219
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:57,775
30 bucks for blank CDs?
No wonder this place closed.
220
00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:59,612
‐ Stay right here.
221
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:03,285
I'm sensing a "paranormanal"
feeling over there.
222
00:09:03,352 --> 00:09:07,193
Nothing scary is happening
and my lips are set to stun.
223
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:08,730
‐ You are so impatient.
224
00:09:08,797 --> 00:09:10,567
Haven't you ever watched
those ghost shows?
225
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,370
They walk around for an hour
just saying,
226
00:09:12,437 --> 00:09:13,607
"Do you hear that?"
227
00:09:13,673 --> 00:09:16,478
‐ Yeah, Duncan.
It's all about the buildup.
228
00:09:16,546 --> 00:09:18,415
‐ Trust me, it's built up.
229
00:09:18,482 --> 00:09:19,585
‐ Just get back
to your girl, D.
230
00:09:19,652 --> 00:09:21,789
You let us rattle
the dead cage of Gordy.
231
00:09:21,856 --> 00:09:24,027
‐ Thanks.
Make sure he's pissed.
232
00:09:24,094 --> 00:09:27,668
‐ Okay, legend has it wrong.
The ghost of Gordy isn't real.
233
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,170
‐ What?
‐ Yeah, you know what?
234
00:09:29,237 --> 00:09:30,974
I just remembered
he didn't kill himself.
235
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,178
He took a job across
the street at Best Buy.
236
00:09:33,245 --> 00:09:35,116
‐ Same thing.
‐ But we promised Duncan to go
237
00:09:35,182 --> 00:09:37,855
so he could marry Mia and that
is exactly what we're gonna do.
238
00:09:37,921 --> 00:09:42,463
So follow your boy to
the bowels of Circuit City.
239
00:09:42,531 --> 00:09:44,702
[thunder booms]
240
00:09:44,769 --> 00:09:47,173
‐ Wow, Mother Nature
brought her A‐Game tonight.
241
00:09:49,077 --> 00:09:52,083
[riders cheering]
242
00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:55,557
‐ Look what the black cat
dragged in‐‐
243
00:09:55,624 --> 00:09:59,397
Jack Harris,
the lamest of all God's asses.
244
00:09:59,464 --> 00:10:01,334
‐ Wendell, you look unwell.
245
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,638
‐ And you look like a guy
246
00:10:02,705 --> 00:10:05,644
who's gonna blow his wad
losing a kid's game again,
247
00:10:05,711 --> 00:10:07,246
I've still got
your grandfather's Purple Heart
248
00:10:07,313 --> 00:10:08,850
from last year.
249
00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:10,987
‐ Don't let him get in your
head like he does every year.
250
00:10:11,054 --> 00:10:15,931
‐ You will never beat
this game, lame ass.
251
00:10:15,997 --> 00:10:18,503
And thank you
for the barber recommendation.
252
00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:20,540
‐ One eyeball, please?
253
00:10:20,607 --> 00:10:21,976
‐ You get five.
‐ Don't need 'em.
254
00:10:22,043 --> 00:10:24,013
Unhook Huxter
and say your goodbyes
255
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:28,388
'cause that pig cat's
comin' home with me, baby.
256
00:10:28,455 --> 00:10:30,126
Huh!
257
00:10:30,192 --> 00:10:31,361
‐ [yelps]
258
00:10:31,428 --> 00:10:34,434
Who put that target
and tank of water here?
259
00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:35,904
‐ Four more balls, please.
260
00:10:35,971 --> 00:10:39,144
‐ Try it again without
tempting fate, Jack.
261
00:10:39,210 --> 00:10:41,983
‐ Yep. Yep. Yep.
262
00:10:42,049 --> 00:10:43,385
Come on.
263
00:10:43,452 --> 00:10:45,422
‐ ♪ I am Jing, game rigging ♪
264
00:10:45,489 --> 00:10:47,126
♪ Lalala ♪
265
00:10:47,193 --> 00:10:50,399
‐ [gasps] They all fell down!
266
00:10:50,466 --> 00:10:52,069
We did it, Grandpa!
267
00:10:52,136 --> 00:10:56,244
And the Powerball's up
to 200 million, hint, hint.
268
00:10:56,311 --> 00:10:59,350
‐ Only took 30 years
and $7,000,
269
00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:00,987
but so worth it.
270
00:11:01,054 --> 00:11:02,724
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
271
00:11:02,791 --> 00:11:05,897
‐ Or would you care to wager
your Huxter for...
272
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,337
An even bigger Huxter?
273
00:11:09,404 --> 00:11:12,544
‐ Nice try, Wendell,
but I know my Annie
274
00:11:12,611 --> 00:11:14,615
and she's not
impressed by size.
275
00:11:14,682 --> 00:11:15,650
Right, Annie?
276
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,155
‐ Oh, mama wants.
277
00:11:18,222 --> 00:11:21,027
[thunder booming]
278
00:11:21,762 --> 00:11:23,065
‐ Hey, where'd everybody go?
279
00:11:23,131 --> 00:11:26,271
‐ I don't know.
Bathroom or killed by Gordy.
280
00:11:26,338 --> 00:11:28,141
Do you hear that?
281
00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:30,279
‐ No.
282
00:11:30,346 --> 00:11:31,782
‐ Do you hear that?
283
00:11:31,849 --> 00:11:34,220
‐ No, I'll let you know
when I hear something.
284
00:11:34,287 --> 00:11:35,991
‐ [sighs]
285
00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:42,236
‐ On my cue, let's start
haunting this bitch.
286
00:11:44,207 --> 00:11:46,812
‐ [groaning]
287
00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:49,250
[groaning echoing]
288
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:52,323
‐ Tell me you heard that.
‐ I definitely heard that.
289
00:11:52,390 --> 00:11:56,097
‐ It's kinda working
but I don't hear wedding bells.
290
00:11:56,164 --> 00:11:58,736
‐ Maybe we could scare them
with whatever the hell this is.
291
00:11:58,803 --> 00:12:00,740
‐ What is that?
Some kinda Slenderman freak?
292
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:01,809
‐ I don't know.
293
00:12:01,876 --> 00:12:04,581
But I'm getting nervous
holding it.
294
00:12:04,648 --> 00:12:07,420
‐ Get away from
my Gran Torino, punks!
295
00:12:07,486 --> 00:12:09,424
both: [scream] Gordy!
296
00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:12,263
‐ Oh, no.
Duncan peed himself.
297
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:13,566
‐ Oh, my God.
298
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,471
What did I drink so much
at the hydration station?
299
00:12:16,539 --> 00:12:17,874
‐ [groans]
300
00:12:17,941 --> 00:12:20,145
‐ Hold me.
‐ I can't.
301
00:12:20,212 --> 00:12:22,617
[panting]
302
00:12:22,684 --> 00:12:25,122
Shut up, Gordy.
‐ [groans]
303
00:12:25,189 --> 00:12:26,291
Wait for me.
304
00:12:26,358 --> 00:12:29,497
‐ Oh, I can't let Mia see this.
It might be a turn off.
305
00:12:29,565 --> 00:12:33,005
‐ ♪ Gran Torino ♪
306
00:12:33,071 --> 00:12:35,042
‐ Duncan, where are you?
307
00:12:35,109 --> 00:12:38,883
‐ ♪ Love what you got
under the hood ♪
308
00:12:38,950 --> 00:12:42,490
♪ I'd have sex with you
if I could ♪
309
00:12:42,557 --> 00:12:45,864
♪ Gran Torino ♪
310
00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:50,507
‐ Cotton press? Active wear?
311
00:12:50,573 --> 00:12:52,611
Where's the dry pee setting?
312
00:12:52,677 --> 00:12:54,480
[indistinct chatter]
313
00:12:54,548 --> 00:12:57,086
‐ Round of fried Cokes
for me and my fwiends.
314
00:12:57,153 --> 00:13:00,192
‐ I'm allergic to fried foods,
but that's okay.
315
00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,764
My mom likes the attention
when I get sick.
316
00:13:02,831 --> 00:13:04,133
‐ That'll be five bucks.
317
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,339
‐ My coin purse
only has thwee nickels.
318
00:13:07,406 --> 00:13:08,509
[chimes shimmer]
319
00:13:08,576 --> 00:13:09,711
‐ Check it again.
320
00:13:09,778 --> 00:13:11,882
‐ Benjamin Fwanklin?
321
00:13:11,949 --> 00:13:13,385
all: Wow!
322
00:13:13,452 --> 00:13:15,022
‐ Hmm, hmm.
323
00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:18,261
‐ I'm a witch.
‐ That's awesome.
324
00:13:18,328 --> 00:13:19,297
You should be on
325
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,401
"America's Got"‐‐
what do you call it‐‐"Talent."
326
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,906
‐ There you are.
‐ Uh‐oh.
327
00:13:26,144 --> 00:13:29,050
‐ Hey, you're gonna wanna
give it a few minutes.
328
00:13:29,818 --> 00:13:31,655
[kids panting]
329
00:13:31,722 --> 00:13:33,458
‐ Crap, I'm too short.
330
00:13:33,526 --> 00:13:35,563
I knew I should'na
let Ma trim my pomp.
331
00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:36,732
‐ Not a prob.
332
00:13:36,799 --> 00:13:39,437
all: Oh.
‐ Hey.
333
00:13:39,505 --> 00:13:40,372
Check it out.
334
00:13:40,439 --> 00:13:42,844
I'm like Tilda Swinton
over here!
335
00:13:42,911 --> 00:13:45,315
[all laugh, cheer]
336
00:13:45,382 --> 00:13:47,219
‐ Eat my bumper!
337
00:13:47,286 --> 00:13:48,956
Whee!
338
00:13:49,023 --> 00:13:50,593
‐ Gotcha.
339
00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:53,465
‐ [grunts]
Ooh, my L‐5!
340
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,269
Mother will be pleased.
341
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,874
‐ I've been worried sick about
what Mom would do to me
342
00:13:57,941 --> 00:13:59,545
if she knew I lost you.
343
00:13:59,611 --> 00:14:00,813
‐ You were mean to me.
344
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,418
But then I met the Tree Witch
and she gave me magical powers.
345
00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:06,057
‐ Sure she did, Jing.
And I'm a B cup.
346
00:14:07,359 --> 00:14:08,328
‐ [screams]
347
00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:10,833
[all gasp]
348
00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:13,004
‐ Kimberly is our leader now.
349
00:14:13,071 --> 00:14:14,708
‐ The coven and I
just discussed it
350
00:14:14,775 --> 00:14:16,010
and we decided to let you join.
351
00:14:16,077 --> 00:14:18,749
‐ Oh, now I'm good enough
for your coven?
352
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:20,118
Well, no thank‐‐
okay, I'll join.
353
00:14:20,185 --> 00:14:22,991
‐ So how do we get powers too?
‐ It's not that easy.
354
00:14:23,058 --> 00:14:25,162
The Tree Witch
has to really like you.
355
00:14:25,229 --> 00:14:26,632
And we are pretty tight.
356
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,101
She's like
my sixth best friend.
357
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:31,842
‐ I'm in a coven.
I know how to talk to witches.
358
00:14:31,909 --> 00:14:34,748
Hey, girlfriend, me and my crew
were talking
359
00:14:34,815 --> 00:14:36,017
and we'd love
to snap some twigs
360
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,556
and have what
you've got going on.
361
00:14:38,623 --> 00:14:40,960
[chimes shimmer]
362
00:14:41,027 --> 00:14:44,033
‐ Well, somebody knows
how to talk to witches.
363
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,803
[all gasp]
‐ But first,
364
00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:48,008
I need
a little favor from you.
365
00:14:48,074 --> 00:14:50,913
Hold hands,
make a circle around me,
366
00:14:50,980 --> 00:14:53,451
and read this incantation.
367
00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:55,188
[all gasp]
368
00:14:55,255 --> 00:14:59,363
all: Esaeler Eht Liveee.
369
00:14:59,430 --> 00:15:02,269
[eerie music]
370
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:07,079
♪ ♪
371
00:15:07,146 --> 00:15:10,052
‐ What's happening?
[gasps]
372
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:14,460
‐ Oh, my God.
It says "Release the eee‐vil."
373
00:15:14,528 --> 00:15:17,099
I can read backwards.
I do the word jumble every day.
374
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:22,476
‐ Say goodbye to your town.
It's your last Witch Day ever.
375
00:15:22,544 --> 00:15:25,449
[witches cackling]
376
00:15:25,516 --> 00:15:27,086
‐ Crap, back to socks.
377
00:15:31,427 --> 00:15:33,766
[witches cackling]
378
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,437
[ominous music]
379
00:15:36,505 --> 00:15:37,406
‐ Ah!
380
00:15:37,473 --> 00:15:38,876
‐ Watch out!
[crowd screaming]
381
00:15:38,943 --> 00:15:40,580
‐ There goes this month's rent.
382
00:15:40,646 --> 00:15:41,815
Curse you, God!
383
00:15:41,882 --> 00:15:45,288
‐ The witches kicked us out.
Of course I beat my chest.
384
00:15:45,355 --> 00:15:47,627
‐ I wish I knew
the word to describe
385
00:15:47,694 --> 00:15:48,929
the terror I'm feeling.
386
00:15:48,996 --> 00:15:52,937
‐ They say if you listen close,
you can still hear them scream.
387
00:15:53,004 --> 00:15:54,508
‐ [screams]
‐ Witches! We're witches!
388
00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:58,348
‐ Damn, those Witch Day edibles
are kicking in.
389
00:16:01,588 --> 00:16:05,095
‐ Duncan, I'm scared,
and I can use an arm around me.
390
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,338
‐ [gasps]
391
00:16:12,677 --> 00:16:14,447
Yes!
I know how to use that.
392
00:16:14,514 --> 00:16:16,685
♪ Gran Torino ♪
393
00:16:16,752 --> 00:16:18,823
♪ Doo doo doo doo doo ♪
394
00:16:18,889 --> 00:16:21,294
‐ Dude, your pants
have metal on 'em.
395
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,262
‐ So?
396
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:24,801
[electricity crackles]
397
00:16:26,103 --> 00:16:28,475
‐ This place is gonna blow.
‐ [gasps]
398
00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:34,420
‐ [grunts]
399
00:16:34,487 --> 00:16:36,558
‐ What's happening? I'm scared.
400
00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:37,994
‐ I got you, babe.
401
00:16:38,061 --> 00:16:39,865
Ow, ow, ow, ow, hot zipper.
Ow.
402
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:42,035
[witches cackling]
403
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,875
‐ [gasps]
Oh, my God, Jack, look.
404
00:16:44,941 --> 00:16:47,012
‐ Not now, Annie,
this is my last ball
405
00:16:47,079 --> 00:16:48,682
and he has my wedding band.
406
00:16:48,749 --> 00:16:50,418
‐ What's for dinner, honey?
407
00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:54,493
‐ [gasps]
408
00:16:54,561 --> 00:16:56,497
‐ I achieved all
I wanted in life.
409
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,738
‐ The hell is goin' on?
410
00:16:59,804 --> 00:17:00,973
‐ Okay, let me start by saying,
411
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,844
I did a great job
watching Jing.
412
00:17:02,911 --> 00:17:04,781
That being said,
I accidentally released
413
00:17:04,848 --> 00:17:06,885
a bunch of angry witches
that want to destroy our town.
414
00:17:06,952 --> 00:17:08,021
‐ You what?
415
00:17:08,087 --> 00:17:09,991
‐ My new best friend's
a she‐devil.
416
00:17:10,058 --> 00:17:12,764
‐ Hello, Oakdale!
Good to be back.
417
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:16,838
It's been 400 years
and this place still smells
418
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:19,811
like Goody Bingham's
crusty ass!
419
00:17:19,878 --> 00:17:21,682
Who's ready to die?
420
00:17:21,748 --> 00:17:23,117
‐ Not today, hags.
421
00:17:23,184 --> 00:17:25,523
‐ Oakdale Militia, assemble!
422
00:17:25,590 --> 00:17:29,631
‐ It's our constitutional
right to kill these witches.
423
00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:32,904
‐ Fools, don't you know bullets
only make witches stronger?
424
00:17:32,971 --> 00:17:35,509
‐ Is that true?
‐ On Xbox.
425
00:17:36,243 --> 00:17:38,782
‐ Damn, this carnival got
a lot scarier since we left.
426
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,153
‐ That's what's up, Witch Day!
427
00:17:46,197 --> 00:17:47,934
‐ What do you want?
428
00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:49,169
We'll do anything.
429
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,175
‐ An apology.
‐ Never.
430
00:17:52,242 --> 00:17:55,448
‐ This town has profited
off our misery for too long.
431
00:17:55,516 --> 00:17:57,920
‐ Hey, my tours
are donation only.
432
00:17:57,987 --> 00:17:59,858
And I'm always
talking you guys up.
433
00:17:59,924 --> 00:18:03,131
In fact, I say burning women
is wrong two times.
434
00:18:03,197 --> 00:18:06,037
‐ And you're appropriating
witch culture.
435
00:18:06,103 --> 00:18:08,642
Look at you‐‐
the hats, the brooms.
436
00:18:08,709 --> 00:18:10,178
That guy's in witch face!
437
00:18:10,245 --> 00:18:13,686
‐ Actually, 23 and me says
I'm 1/16 witch.
438
00:18:15,890 --> 00:18:17,660
But what will people
wanna punch?
439
00:18:17,727 --> 00:18:19,163
‐ I'm confused.
440
00:18:19,229 --> 00:18:21,300
I thought you were falsely
accused of being witches.
441
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:23,104
‐ You falsely accuse
enough people,
442
00:18:23,171 --> 00:18:25,008
you're bound to nail
a few guilty ones.
443
00:18:25,075 --> 00:18:26,277
It's a numbers game.
444
00:18:26,343 --> 00:18:30,218
‐ Okay, who wants to be burned
to death first?
445
00:18:30,285 --> 00:18:33,224
[crowd screaming]
446
00:18:35,295 --> 00:18:36,197
‐ Oh, my God!
447
00:18:36,263 --> 00:18:38,000
‐ Annie, if I die tonight,
448
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:40,071
raise the kids with Huxter.
449
00:18:40,138 --> 00:18:42,777
‐ Kimberly, you understand
this boppity‐boop!
450
00:18:42,844 --> 00:18:45,115
Talk to them.
‐ [growls]
451
00:18:45,181 --> 00:18:47,620
‐ Hi, I love witches.
I'm a witch too.
452
00:18:47,687 --> 00:18:51,762
We're a sisterhood.
Sisters have to stick together.
453
00:18:51,828 --> 00:18:54,868
Even when they chase
the hot nerdy boys away.
454
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,237
‐ They didn't want you.
455
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,707
‐ What? There were vibes.
456
00:18:57,774 --> 00:18:59,443
‐ This is what
we're talking about.
457
00:18:59,511 --> 00:19:02,282
We wish witches and mortals
could coexist peacefully.
458
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,654
But you're just gonna wind up
hanging us again.
459
00:19:04,721 --> 00:19:06,090
‐ Yeah.
‐ So true.
460
00:19:06,157 --> 00:19:07,894
‐ You got my number.
461
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,096
‐ [laughing]
462
00:19:09,163 --> 00:19:11,200
‐ We're never going back
to that tree.
463
00:19:11,267 --> 00:19:13,070
‐ We hate living
in that tree.
464
00:19:13,137 --> 00:19:14,941
‐ Yeah, we're all on
top of each other.
465
00:19:15,008 --> 00:19:16,210
‐ People make out under us,
466
00:19:16,277 --> 00:19:17,980
carve their initials
in our butts.
467
00:19:18,047 --> 00:19:20,553
So sorry.
Prepare to die!
468
00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:23,659
[all screaming]
469
00:19:24,828 --> 00:19:26,531
‐ Huxter!
470
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,737
‐ Listen, I'm totally fine
with dying.
471
00:19:29,804 --> 00:19:33,979
But if you're just looking
for a non‐tree place to live,
472
00:19:34,046 --> 00:19:35,850
I think I can help.
473
00:19:35,916 --> 00:19:37,553
‐ Hmm.
474
00:19:39,323 --> 00:19:40,893
‐ Check it out.
30,000 square feet
475
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,329
where you can fly, cackle,
476
00:19:42,395 --> 00:19:45,134
and have access to all
the HP products that you want.
477
00:19:45,201 --> 00:19:47,405
‐ And like all vacant
retail spaces,
478
00:19:47,472 --> 00:19:50,211
you can turn it into
a Spirit Halloween store.
479
00:19:50,278 --> 00:19:51,982
‐ What the hell is Halloween?
480
00:19:52,048 --> 00:19:53,284
‐ Oh, you're gonna love it.
481
00:19:53,351 --> 00:19:56,056
‐ Oakdale,
you've got yourself a deal.
482
00:19:56,123 --> 00:19:57,727
[all cheer]
483
00:19:57,793 --> 00:20:00,064
‐ I guess we'll never learn
how to be real witches.
484
00:20:00,131 --> 00:20:01,333
[phone buzzes]
485
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,406
‐ Hey, Tree Witch
shot us a link.
486
00:20:05,208 --> 00:20:08,347
‐ Oh, sorry about tonight.
I was trying to get you scared
487
00:20:08,414 --> 00:20:11,287
so maybe you'd want me
to put my arm around you.
488
00:20:11,353 --> 00:20:13,291
‐ Duncan, if you wanna put
your arm around me,
489
00:20:13,357 --> 00:20:15,796
you don't have to come up
with elaborate schemes.
490
00:20:15,863 --> 00:20:17,967
I prefer a guy
who's direct and honest.
491
00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:19,236
‐ Okay.
492
00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:21,975
Mia, I'd like
to put my arm around you.
493
00:20:22,042 --> 00:20:23,745
‐ Okay.
‐ Huh?
494
00:20:27,252 --> 00:20:30,091
[laughs]
This is kinda nice.
495
00:20:30,158 --> 00:20:32,095
Can I say something else
honest?
496
00:20:32,162 --> 00:20:33,899
‐ Sure.
‐ My arm is cramping.
497
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:36,972
‐ Why don't you just relax
and I'll put my arm around you?
498
00:20:37,038 --> 00:20:38,809
‐ Oh, thank God.
Yes.
499
00:20:40,044 --> 00:20:42,950
‐ ♪ Gran Torino ♪
500
00:20:43,017 --> 00:20:45,923
‐ Ooh, who's the bone man?
501
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,435
‐ Ravioli?
502
00:20:52,503 --> 00:20:53,839
You make the same thing
every night.
503
00:20:53,905 --> 00:20:55,576
‐ It's your father's
favorite meal.
504
00:20:55,642 --> 00:20:58,214
‐ That better be ravioli.
[belches]
505
00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,584
‐ Why is he living with us?
506
00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:02,923
‐ It was your old dad's
dying wish and we moved on.
507
00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:04,493
Any luck job hunting, honey?
508
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,230
‐ Oh, here we go!
509
00:21:06,296 --> 00:21:08,100
Oink‐meow, I told you.
510
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:11,541
My back is a mess from hanging
on that hook for so long.
511
00:21:11,608 --> 00:21:13,310
‐ Our old dad had a job.
512
00:21:13,377 --> 00:21:15,749
‐ Well, your old dad
ain't here, is he?
513
00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,920
[grunts]
514
00:21:17,987 --> 00:21:20,526
‐ Jack's back, baby.
515
00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:24,132
all: [cheer]
‐ Dad's back!
516
00:21:24,182 --> 00:21:28,732
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