Original subtitles

Was my husband...with Mandy?

I think... Was he?

Yes.

This is a community full of decent God-fearing people...

Oh, shut up, Lisa. You spent the summer screwing your choirmaster.

YOU can talk. Everyone knows what YOU'VE been up to.

I've brought you some...

Chlamydia? I think this town has had enough of you, Caroline.

You must really miss her.

Yeah. I'd never met anyone like her before.

And...I have never met anyone like you before either.

What are you doing outside a bank at this time of day?

I'm planning a robbery, actually.

Right. That's treason.

I'm writing that down. That's not treason.

One foot wrong, and you're back in prison.

We can go home. We can start again.

I don't run away.

ENGINE ROARS

Argh!

Hi. Erm, I need to report something,

but whatever happens, it cannot be Ti...

Oh, what have you done now?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Is there anyone else I can speak to about this?

Why is it always you?

It's a small town, small police station,

and, as I've said, Leonard's on paternity leave

so, for the next two weeks, it's the Tina Show. Yay.

Oh, yeah, wet paint.

Oh, my God!

Suits you, though. Right, what do you want?

Someone tried to ram me last night.

TMI. No, no, on my bike, on the road at night.

They tried to kill me, knock me off.

Right, yeah. Using what weapon?

A car - what else could it be?

Well, a...tennis racket or golf club.

Like a mobility scooter.

No, no, no. They tried to run me over in a car.

It was terrifying. Mm. Any witnesses?

No. Interesting. What do you mean?

Convenient. Well, it's the exact opposite.

What, not convenient? Inconvenient.

Mm.

Well, you look OK to me.

There is a giant bruise on my arse. Let me show...

OK, I could arrest you for that.

Tina, please! I know you hate me,

but this happened and I thought I was going to die.

I am begging you. LAUGHTER

Well, I best leave you to it. Good to see you, Derek.

And I love what you've done with the office.

Oh, yeah, big man's back in town.

His wife was missing Hythe. Understandably.

It was their home before somebody grievously murdered

their only child.

Er, what about the incident?

Sir Chief Inspector, Your Highness.

What was that about?

Oh, nothing, apparently.

Right, this badge is because of you, sir.

Excuse me?

1999 to 2003, you were my mentor, sir.

Course.

Mm. Good to see you, Tuna.

It's Tina, sir. Tuna's a fish.

I think he was trying to kill me, Dad.

You don't know it was him for sure, it could have been Drunk Philip.

It wasn't Drunk Philip. It's normally him.

He runs over lots of cats. No, it was Mr B... John -

I can call him John now because I'm a grown-up.

It was him. I saw his car.

It had my bum dent on it.

ENGINE STARTS

Ugh! Maybe now is not a good time.

Look, shall I make us some hot chocolate?

No, no. I... I need to do this. It's my test on Monday.

Then, you need to concentrate.

OK. He lost his daughter.

Hold your nerve.

They'll go back to Portsmouth after the vigil, I'm sure.

The what?

Clutch!

It's a memorial thing.

Sound Mirror and candlelit walk to the church after.

It's nothing big.

What, at the place of her death? Why is he doing this?

He's her father.

If he wants to remember her to the town...

Or me to the town.

He lost his only daughter, Miri!

Yes, but he's had 19 years. Why is he doing this now?

Come on, just start the car.

Ow! Ugh! He is a horrible man!

Stay away from him.

Ugh, Dad! I am trying to.

Look, come back.

I think we have marshmallows!

Bye.

Hi!

Hello! Oh, OK, why not?!

Oh! Oh, my God, this town.

Oh, bad day?

Do you ever wish you were someone else?

No.

I quite like being me.

Urgh, what's that? Oh, it's paint.

I thought you were lactating.

I don't think that it looks like that.

Right, I have a few things to do so if you want to...

Oh, yes, please! Take me anywhere. I'll do anything.

Just get me out of here.

Yeah? Yes!

OK.

RADIO ON IN BACKGROUND

FRONT DOOR OPENS

FRONT DOOR CLOSES

KEYS JANGLE How was she?

As long as she doesn't have to drive, she'll pass.

I meant is she OK?

Ah, no.

She's in a dither, and thinks it was Lara's father in the car.

What? He wouldn't do that.

Would he?

That's what I said. Well, did she see him?

No. She's paranoid, understandably.

It was probably Drunk Philip, in the car.

Yeah, quite.

Should we go tonight? To the vigil?

Show our faces?

I don't think it's our place. We have to do something.

Everyone is. The Ladies of Hythe are doing the flowers.

Christian when it suits them.

Ghastly.

I'm so glad they booted you out.

Hmm.

Do you want to go for a coffee or something?

Oh, yes! Oh, I'd love that.

Good, because I'm prepping my campaign

and I-I need to create the circumstances in which I can shine.

So I should... Er, yeah.

Oh, right.

I'll make myself scarce.

Mm. Yeah, yeah.

Oh!

Oh, wow, you look smart!

Ah, thanks.

Where are we, what are we doing?

Er, it's my mum's house. It's her birthday.

What?! Whoa.

Oh, my God, Billy! Hey. Shit, shit, shit!

You didn't say. I'm not ready for that.

No, no, you look great. Don't worry about it.

Oh, my boobs. Look at me. Oh, my...

It's fine. It's just a fly-by.

Miri. Miri?

Ah-ha-ha! He's here! He came!

Happy birthday, Mum!

This is Miri.

Miri, Miri! Miri.

She's just coming.

Boo! Happy birthday!

What is this? This is my friend, Miri.

Oh! Miri.

I'm so sorry. I, um, I didn't know.

I was, I was decorating.

So I... He didn't say.

Billy didn't say. Typical Billy.

Useless. Shall we find you something?

No, no, no. She looks fine!

Oh, wow! Yes, please. Come with me.

Oh, Mum. Mum, don't. Oh!

Beautiful house.

I know.

I thought it was just at the church.

No.

It's just a little...morbid to start there.

A procession's a bit much, don't you think?

I said I was sorry. Let's just go home.

We don't have to put on a show.

What show? Our daughter's skull was smashed in.

She bled to death on the rocks on the beach.

Please, John. I can do this without you.

Oh, there she is!

Boom!

Joan Collins. What?

Yeah, I heard all about it.

You're a dark horse, in't you?

Well, I...

Hm? I ain't judging. I love all that shit.

Dynasty, Real Housewives, TOWIE.

Everybody loves a diva.

Thank you.

I suppose.

Mm, looking glam.

Where are you off to?

A meeting at the church. Oh.

If they'll have me. Mm, do they hate you?

Mm.

Then, bring biscuits.

Oh, well, actually, I, er...

Strong choice, yeah. You're going to be fine.

Oh.

Bad gal! Yeah.

MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY

So what kind of look do you usually, er...?

Anything that's not...this.

I didn't know Billy had a new...

Oh, no, we're not together. Well, not...

How did you meet?

Over the fence. Neighbours.

Oh. I, er, I wasn't a fan of that witch.

She was...different.

She sent me faeces. Me too!

I didn't like it. Me neither.

If you ever did that to me...

I-I won't.

Can't afford the postage.

Oh!

Yay!

What do you do?

Erm, oh, I just started work at a supermarket, actually.

Erm, customer...

Relations? Well, yeah, kind of. Yeah.

For one of the big supermarkets? Well, one of the ones.

Very impressive. Love a career woman.

Oh, well, I'm not really...

Don't apologise for it.

I hate it when women apologise. Own it.

OK.

Well, it's...it's all mine.

SHE CHUCKLES

MIRI CHUCKLES YOU are hilarious.

I love scrubbing up a Plain Jane.

Perfect.

Da-da!

Oh.

You look...

..different. I know.

Right. Come and meet the spinster.

Kidding! Sister.

But she is a spinster.

God, I'm awful. Don't tell her I said that.

So, Lisa will be in charge

of the procession candles and distribution. Sorry.

I will be in... CAROLINE CLEARS THROAT

Hello, ladies.

I wondered if I could help with preparations for tonight.

I think with birthing the killer, you've done enough.

GASPS, MURMURING

Lisa, how's the divorce?

I won't attend.

I-I just want to do something to help.

I thought we'd made ourselves quite clear the other day.

Oh, yes, you did, Laura - very clear.

But I know this group is founded on Christian principles,

so I'm giving you all another chance to welcome me back.

Like you welcomed Lisa back after she bonked the choirmaster.

GASPING

And I've brought a little something for the group.

Syphilis? No, Lisa. Hobnobs.

Ooh!

Your mum's very impressive. Oh.

She likes you, that's a first.

She doesn't usually like the people we like. Oh.

And now he's a bloody gardener.

Which is great, if you don't want to own your own home or have a family.

Am I right, Miri? Right!

No, I'm kidding! I love my boy.

Look at his big ears!

Mum says you work in corporate relations? Yeah.

Nice. Like PR? No.

Yes! Yes, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like that, yeah. For who?

Supermarket-s-s. Supermarkets.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, but you know, you know, erm...

Work's work, isn't it, at the end of the day?

Old grindstone and all that.

Tell me about it!

Do you do long hours? Oh, the hours.

They are nonstop.

I'm like, like, I wake up,

It's like PR, PR, PR, PR, PR, PR.

Then I, um, then I do some

public relations and, er, and then I-I...

I-I type a lot on my computer. Like tap-tap tappity-tap.

And the emails, they just go, "Ping, ping, ping, ping,"

in my box all day long. Are you in charge of a lot of people?

Oh, my God, so many people. Sometimes I'm just like,

"Argh! One, two, three, four, five - how many people are you?!"

Ah, hello. Hey!

I'm just hearing about Miri's job. I know. Yes. It's great, isn't it?

It's in PR. It's PR for big supermarkets.

Tap-tap tappity-tap, ping.

Rehanna? Here.

Sorry. So nice to meet you.

Sorry. I got...I got a bit carried away.

You know? Not really. You're different.

This could be me, in another life.

Well, I like the nice one with the scruffy shirt and the paint boobs.

What, the one who you threw into your terrifying mother's party

without warning her?

And, hang on, actually I shouldn't have to be nice for you to like me.

I-I could be different and impressive,

and have shoes that have heels on and hair and stuff.

Do you...do you know what? I'm going to own this.

Own what? I don't know.

SHE BELCHES Are you drunk?

No, I just...had one glass of champagne

and I really don't get what all the hoo-ha is about.

It's very, very burpy. Billy!

Come and say hi to Auntie Shauna.

I've got to say hi to Auntie Shauna.

Billy, don't be...

SHE BELCHES

Cheers.

WOMEN CHAT

I'd love to do that, thank you so much. I'm quite...

Is that your husband?

Erm...

I thought it was a tramp.

No, that's him.

One-man crusade to clean up Hythe, apparently.

Good for him. Well, each to their own.

Try living with it.

Anyone want a Starbucks? I'm not allowed them at home.

I'm in trouble cos I lost my bamboo cup.

It keeps burning the edges but the middle stays gooey.

It's a nightmare.

I only bought it on Friday.

It's meant to be top-of-the-range.

Top of what range? I'll get Mandy to take it back to the shop.

She's better at returning goods than me.

Oh, hey. You know John?

Homework now.

Mark, make her.

Come on, then. What have you got? Fine!

Good to see you, Mandy.

Why are you here?

You're no doubt aware of the silly rumours going round.

I'm sure you want to nip them in the bud as much as I do.

I would like you to leave now.

It's my daughter's memorial tonight.

In light of all this, I hope you can at least be respectful,

and stay away.

You and Miri.

It happened.

I was 17.

And you were the grown-up.

If you're going to pursue this version of events...

..go gently.

Wouldn't be hard to dismantle you.

DOOR CLOSES

Poor guy. Nice man.

You let him in our house.

Yeah. Yeah, he dropped Cerys home, so I offered him a waffle.

What? He saw her walking home, so he gave her a lift.

Hi, excuse me.

Erm, have you got any juice?

Lena!

No, sh. No-one here knows.

Yeah, well, me...me neither.

Wow, look at you!

You've changed so much. Well...

You really have turned it around.

How?

Oh, I haven't. I haven't, I haven't, really.

This...this is not me.

It's all...it's all borrowed. Oh!

This isn't me at all. None of this is me.

Oh! Oh, OK.

That totally threw me off.

SHE BELCHES Oh, no. Excuse me, I keep burping

cos this is my first drink in 18 years.

Ah, OK. Well, stop now. Yeah?

Thanks. When did you get out?

About, er, six weeks ago. You must have been out for...

Yeah, three years in Jan.

How is it?

Slow.

It's OK. Yeah. Good and bad.

Hard.

It is hard, isn't it?

Mm. Does it get any easier?

Some days.

Oh! THEY LAUGH

I always wanted to thank you.

What for? You stood up for me with those other girls.

No-one else did. Oh, no, no, no, no. Well, there are plenty

of arseholes in the world, so you remember the ones that aren't.

Well... Do...

..do you miss it? Sometimes I miss it.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

It took me ages to sleep when I first got out.

It's, like, so quiet. Yeah, I know.

I'm still getting used to that. Yeah.

Anyway, I'm glad those aren't your clothes.

That really freaked me out. I thought, "Where the hell is Miri?"

She's here!

It's good to see you. You too.

So I said, "Billy, get your pecker out of that!

"It's a sofa, not a woman!" LAUGHTER

A year away from qualifying,

and he gives it all up to push a lawnmower around.

BILLY CLEARS HIS THROAT I'm a...I'm a landscape gardener.

Oh, trim some bushes!

LAUGHTER

You have to, erm, cut them back to make them grow.

You could have been a top surgeon on Harley Street raking it in by now.

I never wanted that. I think that, erm, gardening is a lovely job

cos you breathe life into something.

So be a doctor.

But he didn't want to do that. You should be proud of him.

He has an extensive knowledge of...

..botany which is...

It's quite complicated.

Oooh, botany! Yeah.

Yeah, and I think that's an amazing thing to know about.

Oh, that is so generous of you.

But...but seriously, Billy, get your act together

and keep this one, or she will nab someone better.

There is no-one better. I am the lucky one.

Yeah, he... he knows I'm just teasing him.

Well, it's not funny.

It's just...it's just not, because Billy is a catch.

He's...he's kind and he's made me feel special,

normal, even, which I'm really not.

And I'm not an important career woman at all.

The only PR I know about ends in -ISON.

Just google me. It's Miri Matteson. It's a long story.

Actually don't because, erm, they paint it wrong.

But my point... Sorry, my point, really, is that your son is a catch.

You know, you should be proud of him and stop being a such a...

..cunt, I guess.

Happy birthday to you

Happy...

..Birthday to you

Happy birthday dear Gaia Mum

Happy birthday to you.

WHISPERS: Hip, hip...

..hooray.

For she's a jolly...

It was a stunning cake.

It was very ornate.

I'm really sorry.

I was a total dick.

Billy, please. I'm so sorry.

I-I know I should have kept my stupid mouth shut,

but I didn't like how she spoke about... Shut up.

That was the best thing that anyone has ever done for me.

Beyond the best.

What are you doing later?

Crimping my hair. Oh!

I want to take you on a date.

Proper date.

Dad fixed my bike. Don't borrow it again.

Of course not. I'm so, so sorry... Move!

Ow.

Hey.

Mandy's in a real state. I don't know why.

That Boback guy came round. What?

He must have brought back memories of the whole dead Lara thing.

Mandy?

JOHN: Thank you, all, for being here tonight...

..walking with us from the place of Lara's brutal

and untimely death, to where she now lies.

We may no longer live here,

but this town means so much to me and my wife.

We've always found such strength in your love...

..and continued support.

We come here to commemorate our beautiful girl...

..taken from us in a violent and shocking act...

..by someone she thought was her friend.

She was my universe.

Our universe.

There are people who want to poison my daughter's memory with lies.

And slander.

I trust...I trust that you will rise above it and focus on Lara.

This community has got us through the darkest of times

and, together...

..we'll make sure we're not dragged into the darkness again.

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