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Arliss: For most of us,
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00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,020
the dream of
becoming a champion,
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00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,652
remains a fantasy.
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00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,588
But for a special few,
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00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:23,093
it is very much a reality.
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We cheer them.
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We live through them.
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Athletes are our last warriors.
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My job is to make
their dreams come true.
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My name is Arliss Michaels.
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I represent athletes.
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These are my stories.
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♪ Don't know what it is
that makes me love you so ♪
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♪ I only know I never
wanna let you go ♪
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00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:50,246
♪ 'Cause you started
something oh, can't you see ♪
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00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:54,146
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
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♪ It happens to be true ♪
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♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
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00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:04,797
♪ I just wanna be
beside you everywhere ♪
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♪ As long as we're
together, honey, I don't care ♪
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♪ 'Cause you started
something oh, can't you see ♪
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♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
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♪ No matter what you do ♪
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♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
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She's the national
treasure of Peru,
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The reigning queen of Wimbledon,
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and the most downloaded woman
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on the World Wide Web.
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Carmen Cavallo is a
demographic wet dream
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for Philip Morris.
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Too bad you still can't
advertise cigarettes.
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Damn FCC won't let
us buy the naming rights
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for women's tennis anymore.
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So long, Virginia
Slims, hello, Sanex.
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00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:53,006
But Arliss, Carmen can
endorse any one of our other
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vast number of subsidiaries.
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I mean, she could
choose from Nabisco,
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Kraft,
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Planters,
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00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:04,057
Life Savers.
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What about... all of 'em?
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What do you mean?
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I mean, what about
an umbrella agreement
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for Carmen to promote
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all the parent
company's products?
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And just how wide
is this umbrella?
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Five years, 75 million.
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(laughs) Are you
serious, 75 million?
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(sniffs) Those are
Tiger Woods numbers.
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Picture it... Carmen Cavallo,
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seductively fondling
a stick of Velveeta.
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Telling the world how
she never could've
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won the French at Roland-Garros
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without... Miracle Whip.
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Why, we could create
her own perfume.
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Carmen, from Del Monte.
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The possibilities are endless.
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But Arliss, one athlete
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endorsing all of the
corporation's subsidiaries, uh...
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That's just never
been done before.
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Just call me...
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"Mr. Precedent."
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Arliss: Just because something
hasn't been done before
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doesn't mean it can't be done.
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00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:06,993
At AMM, we're constantly
on the cutting edge.
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I'm Simon Hawthorne.
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When I left college early,
I made a lot of money.
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But I also made one
person very unhappy.
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Woman: Yes, you did.
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But I made my grandma a promise.
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And now, I'm graduating.
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Good for him!
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The number of athletes who
actually go back and get a degree
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are the same as the number
of arms on the Venus de Milo.
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Shh!
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Simon says, finish school.
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That's the biggest
score you can make.
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It sure is!
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Director: Cut! Perfect!
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My little Denzel!
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You nailed it, man.
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We nailed it. Kirby coached me.
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Simon, your laudable efforts
will inspire many young lives.
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I commend you.
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I'm just glad it's
over, man. Let's go.
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Director: Sorry, we've
gotta do it again, we're long.
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Simon, just cut the
middle two sentences
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and go from here, to here, okay?
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00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:01,773
Let's try it.
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00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,151
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Why are we doin' this?
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00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,376
You said it was perfect.
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00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,424
We're long, no big deal,
we'll have it on the prompter.
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00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:07,646
That's not what we agreed on.
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00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,524
Kirby, Simon can handle it.
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00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,782
That's not the point.
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Why don't we just try one?
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Because we don't have time.
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I told you. You have
one hour with him.
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He gave you what
you need, let's go.
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00:04:19,992 --> 00:04:22,032
Man's voice on tape: Your
inner child reminds you...
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I am powerful, I am good...
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(phone rings)
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I am powerful...
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(phone rings)
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Ugh... uhh!
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Arliss Michaels.
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Arliss? It's Carmen.
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I need to talk to you.
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Of course, how's
tomorrow at my office?
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I'm retiring. I'm
going back to Peru!
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- (dial tone)
- Man's voice on tape: I am loved...
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Everywhere I go they want me.
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They want to kiss my shoes.
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They want to kiss my racket.
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They want to kiss my sweatbands.
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Then I come home,
and I'm ready to be loved,
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and where's Samantha?
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In the dark room with
her stupid cameras!
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She doesn't love me.
120
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:08,543
Of course she does.
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She loves you very much.
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Our sex life is terrible.
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We used to be, boom,
boom, boom all the time.
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Ahora que, Arliss, nada!
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Lesbian bed death.
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And she never initiates.
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She's... she's...
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Butch in the streets,
femme in the sheets.
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00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,130
Look. Look.
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Look at me! I make
myself beautiful for her!
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Look at me... ay?
Look at me, Arliss.
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This soap? This soap here?
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Is special.
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00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:44,014
From the Amazon rain forest.
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Keeps my skin so soft.
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00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:48,676
I buy this for her!
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00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,586
You know, I... I was
watching Dr. Phil on "Oprah",
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and he says that all couples,
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all couples, go
through ups and downs.
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She doesn't want me.
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00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:03,427
I'm eating ice cream
until I get so fat
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that no one can loves me!
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Where is she?
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It's not easy
being the girlfriend
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00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,510
of the Peruvian princess.
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00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,877
She flits around,
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00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,153
the center of attention...
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so... Lah-teen!
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Comes back from being on tour,
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and I'm supposed
to drop everything?
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I have a life, too.
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Samantha...
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00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:38,804
Carmen's upstairs
crying in her Cherry Garcia
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because she thinks
you don't love her.
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She loves you.
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00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,343
You make her better.
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00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:49,235
She makes you better.
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She makes... your work better.
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Look how gorgeous she is.
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My little Machu Picchu.
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00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:06,028
I'm crazy about her.
162
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,532
Why don't you tell her?
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Carmen: She did.
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(Latin music playing)
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Arliss, would you mind?
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00:07:53,572 --> 00:07:55,682
Oh, no. No, not at all.
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00:07:56,943 --> 00:08:00,783
Arliss: Staying calm in a crisis
requires total concentration.
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00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:03,716
Never turn your back
on what's important.
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00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:07,123
I always keep my
eyes on the prize.
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00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:16,532
Stanley: "Congratulations from
Ann on your Grammy nomination.
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00:08:16,595 --> 00:08:18,125
You are so hot"?
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00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:20,177
So, what do you think? Is
this what you're looking for?
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00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:21,869
Uhh, this is for
Simon's graduation.
176
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:24,744
It seems more like it's
for Puffy's parole hearing.
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00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:25,914
No, this is a prototype.
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00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,872
This is a Gary Carter original.
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00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,640
So, how did an 11-time All-Star
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00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,579
end up designing trophies?
181
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,364
Well, I'm getting kinda
tired of Cooperstown
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00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:34,612
not giving me a plaque,
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00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:35,790
so I decided to make my own.
184
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:36,855
What... what do you think?
185
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:40,346
Uh, it... it should say,
"Congratulations from AMM
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00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:41,719
on Your Graduation".
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(snoring) Come on!
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00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,399
It's gotta say somethin' phat,
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00:08:44,423 --> 00:08:47,463
you know, like, uh,
"Congratulations, You Da Man"!
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Word.
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00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:49,604
Oh, please.
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00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,162
This is a graduation,
it's important.
193
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:52,370
- It should be, - Guys, what...
194
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,098
"Congratulations from AMM...
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00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:55,626
- You Da man!
- On Your Graduation."
196
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,851
- "Congratulations!
- "Congratulations
197
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:58,449
- You Da Man!"
- from AMM on Your Graduation."
198
00:08:58,471 --> 00:08:59,861
"On Your Graduation."
199
00:08:59,857 --> 00:09:01,237
Arliss! Arliss!
200
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:02,977
You need to make
a decision, okay?
201
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,282
Stanley: Should
Simon's plaque read,
202
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,954
"Congratulations from
AMM on Your Graduation"?
203
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:09,724
Or something a
little less "Stanley",
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00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:13,152
like, "Congratulations,
You the man"?
205
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,229
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys!
206
00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:16,693
Spare me your petty problems.
207
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:19,256
Last night, I had two
crazy, hysterical women
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00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,425
threaten to blow my
groundbreaking deal.
209
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,164
It looked bad. Defeat
seemed imminent.
210
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,399
Yet... I prevailed.
211
00:09:25,464 --> 00:09:26,604
Why?
212
00:09:26,665 --> 00:09:30,165
Because I know what women want.
213
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,136
I listened, I sympathized,
I empathized.
214
00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:35,265
Oh, how do I do it?
215
00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:36,881
How do I handle a Neanderthal
216
00:09:36,942 --> 00:09:37,942
nose tackle one moment,
217
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,510
and a devastated diva the next?
218
00:09:39,578 --> 00:09:43,078
(laughs) I guess that's
what makes me me.
219
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:47,854
Arliss, forgive us
for surprising you.
220
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,190
We have something to tell you.
221
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,255
Something important.
222
00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:51,359
Rita, would you excuse us?
223
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,834
No, Rita can stay.
224
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:53,962
This concerns her, too.
225
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:55,926
- Oh.
- What's wrong, what'd she do?
226
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,195
Samantha: Wrong? Nothing.
227
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,803
Everything's wonderful.
228
00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:00,504
I'm retiring!
229
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:03,401
Sorry?
230
00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:04,899
Not now, but, in a few months.
231
00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:06,340
Wh... wh... in...
in a few months?
232
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:09,305
I thought after last night
everything was just fine.
233
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:10,575
It's fine.
234
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:12,113
Wonderful.
235
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,278
Great! Then, why?
236
00:10:15,347 --> 00:10:18,147
Oh, my God! They're
having a baby!
237
00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:19,587
A what?
238
00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:22,423
We want a family.
239
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:25,258
Ay si, a little bebe.
240
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:27,294
Wow, that's great!
241
00:10:27,359 --> 00:10:29,699
(laughs)
242
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,962
Who's pregnant?
243
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:33,271
No one...
244
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:34,332
yet.
245
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:37,837
Oh, I get it, I get it.
246
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:39,413
Fine, okay.
247
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,642
I know a guy who flies in
from Moscow each month
248
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,637
with a planeload of babies.
249
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,579
I can grease the skids.
250
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,914
No! I want to have the baby!
251
00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:52,652
You mean pregnant?
252
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:54,218
You?
253
00:10:54,286 --> 00:10:57,316
Carmen, maybe you
should, uh, think about this,
254
00:10:57,389 --> 00:10:59,329
wait a little bit,
maybe five years.
255
00:10:59,391 --> 00:11:02,601
It'll give those ovaries
a chance to mature.
256
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:05,431
No! Now is the time.
257
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,998
Samantha: And there's more.
258
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,767
Wh... what more?
259
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,765
We want you to be the donor.
260
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,608
The sperm donor.
261
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:15,883
My sperm?
262
00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,141
His sperm?
263
00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:18,389
(whispering) You can do better.
264
00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:20,650
My sperm?
265
00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:22,653
He's smart, he's dependable.
266
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:24,775
We can always teach
the kid to have emotions.
267
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,320
My sperm...
268
00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:28,685
You know, Arliss did
a lotta drugs in college.
269
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:32,394
Ladies, I'm
flattered. But umm...
270
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,358
this is a big decision.
271
00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:35,956
And there's more.
272
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,828
What more?
273
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:40,167
Rita, we want you
to be the godmother.
274
00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:43,202
Oh! Oh! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, yes!
275
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,469
Yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes!
276
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,308
No, no, no, no, no, no,
I don't need children.
277
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,584
I have 92 children I
take care of every day.
278
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,913
Don't you want someone
to carry on your legacy?
279
00:11:52,978 --> 00:11:55,348
What legacy? It's the
legacy of a turkey baster.
280
00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:57,284
Arliss, you can
look at it and say,
281
00:11:57,349 --> 00:11:59,249
"My genes, my features"...
282
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:00,718
My bank account!
283
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:03,056
Look, kids smell, they cry,
284
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,222
they break things.
285
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:06,760
They grow up and waste time,
waste money, and get wasted.
286
00:12:06,825 --> 00:12:08,285
Oh, until the day,
287
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,600
where they show up and blame me
288
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:11,308
for everything that's
gone wrong in their life,
289
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:13,870
because I wasn't there,
and I should've been there!
290
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:15,133
That's your childhood.
291
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:16,651
What other frame of
reference do I have?
292
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,199
They'll be good parents.
293
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,470
What have you got to lose?
294
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:21,308
My precedent! That's my legacy!
295
00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:22,543
This is gonna fuck it up.
296
00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:24,378
She'll be back
on tour in a year,
297
00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:26,083
empowered by motherhood.
298
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,845
Arliss, I wanna be a godmother.
299
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,053
Fine, give her your sperm.
300
00:12:29,114 --> 00:12:31,224
Just think, your child could
turn out to be someone
301
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,223
- truly remarkable.
- Remarkable.
302
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:33,834
Someone who could
change the course of history.
303
00:12:33,852 --> 00:12:36,792
History. Someone to
carry on the Michaels name!
304
00:12:36,855 --> 00:12:38,115
The Cavallo name.
305
00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:41,462
What?
306
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:44,057
It's her baby, it'll
have her name.
307
00:12:44,129 --> 00:12:45,399
Her name?
308
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:48,234
Arliss: Sometimes a
good idea isn't enough.
309
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:51,340
Sometimes you have
to take it to the next level.
310
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:52,913
Do it! Do it! Do it!
311
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:55,936
Her name...
312
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:58,710
Arliss: I must tell you,
313
00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:01,514
my first response was to pass.
314
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,220
But then I got to thinking,
315
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,352
you two are gonna
be great parents,
316
00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:07,787
and that child
might turn out to be
317
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:10,823
somebody truly remarkable,
318
00:13:10,889 --> 00:13:14,829
someone who could
change the course of history.
319
00:13:14,893 --> 00:13:18,833
So... I'm leaning
towards saying yes.
320
00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,077
(gasps)
321
00:13:20,083 --> 00:13:21,273
Arliss! That is so great!
322
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:22,533
Gracias! Aah!
323
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:23,841
(speaking Spanish)
324
00:13:23,902 --> 00:13:27,212
I ask but one...
small condition.
325
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:28,413
What?
326
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:32,005
I want to name the baby.
327
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:34,947
Well, um...
328
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:36,754
Uh, let me explain.
329
00:13:37,916 --> 00:13:40,246
At my age, I probably
won't be around
330
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,419
to see the kid grow up.
331
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:47,632
And I'd like to
know, when I'm gone,
332
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,663
that he... or she...
333
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:58,200
will carry on some
small, special gift of me.
334
00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:02,041
It's the one thing I want.
335
00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:06,477
If... you'll
agree... I'll agree.
336
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:15,987
Yes.
337
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:23,895
You have no idea
what this means to me.
338
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,803
Like this.
339
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:30,037
After you get your diploma,
340
00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:32,872
tassel goes from
the left to the right.
341
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,168
But I've seen him play hoop.
342
00:14:34,239 --> 00:14:36,109
He can't score
goin' to his right.
343
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:37,635
Hey, but Daunte,
344
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,280
I saw you play the Giants.
345
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:40,945
You couldn't score at all.
346
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:42,773
I scored with that
giant girlfriend of yours.
347
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,745
(laughing)
348
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:45,947
Hey, but, seriously though,
349
00:14:46,018 --> 00:14:47,018
because of you,
350
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,092
I'm going back to college
351
00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:49,593
and gettin' my
degree in English Lit.
352
00:14:49,621 --> 00:14:51,191
Really?
353
00:14:51,256 --> 00:14:52,286
See you.
354
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:53,428
All right, see you.
355
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:57,200
Hey, Daunte, I'll
meet you downstairs.
356
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:01,295
Say, uh, Kirby,
357
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,997
I just wanna thank you, man.
358
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:05,168
I couldn't have
done it without you.
359
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:06,807
Nah, you could have.
360
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:09,612
No... I wouldn't have.
361
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:17,150
A-ha, there he is!
362
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:18,346
Hey.
363
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,087
Well, this time
tomorrow afternoon
364
00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:23,492
you will be Simon
Hawthorne, Bachelor of Arts.
365
00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:25,215
I guess.
366
00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:27,830
Simon, this is
really from all of us,
367
00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:29,103
but, uh, I wanna give it to you
368
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:30,628
because, well,
'cause I picked it out.
369
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,696
(laughs)
370
00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:36,302
Ah! I can't believe this.
371
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,668
Hey, thanks, man.
372
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:42,107
"Congratulations from AMM,
373
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:46,044
on your graduation.
You're the man."
374
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:48,011
Thanks, Stanley.
375
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,250
I appreciate this, man.
376
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:52,423
Later.
377
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,660
"Congratulations from
AMM on your graduation.
378
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,600
You are the man."
379
00:16:06,665 --> 00:16:08,565
You told him that.
380
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,944
Okay, so I told him.
381
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,043
What, did I spoil
your big surprise?
382
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:15,335
Well, the big surprise
is the inscription said,
383
00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:17,707
"Congratulations from Ann
on your Grammy nomination.
384
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:19,406
You are so hot."
385
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:20,908
So?
386
00:16:20,979 --> 00:16:22,849
Simon can't read.
387
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,075
Bullshit.
388
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,479
No wonder you wouldn't allow him
389
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:26,491
to read off the teleprompter.
390
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,422
He couldn't! Could he?
391
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:32,187
And you... you're his enabler.
392
00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:33,587
I'm his friend.
393
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,660
Look... he's a good kid,
394
00:16:37,729 --> 00:16:38,999
He's not a troublemaker,
395
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,304
he's a role model.
396
00:16:40,365 --> 00:16:42,465
An illiterate role model?
397
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,174
To quote a certain colleague,
398
00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:47,436
one who's "gonna
inspire many young lives."
399
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,807
I'm going to go talk to him.
400
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:53,145
H... Hold on. What
are you gonna do?
401
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:54,582
Maybe I can talk him
402
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:56,246
into a literacy
program somewhere.
403
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:57,345
We can keep it quiet.
404
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:59,516
Yeah, right. The press
is gonna be all over this.
405
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,215
He's gonna become
a national punch line,
406
00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:02,286
a joke.
407
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:03,424
What is he now?
408
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:06,659
He's a kid who makes
nine million dollars a year.
409
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:07,825
Over the next six years,
410
00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:10,633
he's gonna make
54 million dollars.
411
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,196
And unlike many
of our literate clients,
412
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:15,695
he knows right from wrong.
413
00:17:16,768 --> 00:17:19,098
How's he gonna
manage the rest of his life?
414
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:20,911
That's why he hired you.
415
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:25,677
And me. And Arliss.
416
00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,114
Think about it.
417
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:36,620
(lullaby playing)
418
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:44,296
What the hell is this?
419
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:47,367
Great, isn't it?
420
00:17:47,432 --> 00:17:50,272
Solid maple,
hypoallergenic mattress pad,
421
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:53,205
and a brain-stimulating mobile.
422
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,272
Obviously we can't
commit to the color yet.
423
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:56,910
Obviously. Look,
I'm expecting...
424
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,485
Arliss, have you
picked out a name yet?
425
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,510
Because I'd like to
suggest a few possibilities.
426
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,680
For a girl, Coco...
427
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:04,749
Oh...
428
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:05,751
Eudora... India.
429
00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:06,847
India...
430
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:10,419
For a boy, Dylan,
Winston... Antonio.
431
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:11,539
Antonio...
432
00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:12,591
Arliss?
433
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,858
Uh, Mindy, um... wh...
why don't we do this
434
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,068
in the conference room, okay?
435
00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:18,265
Uh, can I get you
anything to drink?
436
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:19,807
Would it be too much
to find me a frappuccino?
437
00:18:19,831 --> 00:18:20,871
I'm jonesing.
438
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:21,933
No, no, not at all.
439
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,410
Uh, Rita, why don't
you take care of this?
440
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,435
Isadora!
441
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:25,503
Spencer!
442
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:26,571
Diana.
443
00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:27,668
Diana, cute.
444
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:29,109
Arliss, what is so urgent?
445
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:31,684
I told you I don't have
an answer for you yet.
446
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:34,013
Oh, but you will.
447
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:49,561
Arliss, it's nutty, it's crazy.
448
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,398
I love it.
449
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,303
So, it's done then,
we're agreed?
450
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,095
Agreed.
451
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,697
You won't regret it.
452
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:57,838
I promise you.
453
00:18:57,903 --> 00:18:58,973
One frappuccino.
454
00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:00,047
I hope you like whipped cream.
455
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,072
I'll take it to go.
456
00:19:01,139 --> 00:19:02,869
Thank you, Rita.
457
00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:04,011
She's the best.
458
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,036
Oh, one more thing, Arliss.
459
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,651
I want it in writing,
460
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,123
that should Carmen
have any other children,
461
00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:10,517
they're not to be named after
462
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:12,252
any of our competitors' brands.
463
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,117
We... we can dot the
i's, cross the t's later.
464
00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:15,222
Have a great day.
465
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:17,657
Only you could come up
with something like this, Arliss.
466
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,863
You are so creative.
467
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:26,628
So, where were we, uh,
Dylan, Antonio, India...
468
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:27,698
I like Coco.
469
00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:28,866
What did you just do?
470
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,914
What was the other one,
Eudora? That kinda got a nice ring...
471
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:32,276
Did you just do
what I think you did?
472
00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:33,774
Let's take another
look at that crib.
473
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:37,639
You sold the naming
rights to my godchild!
474
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:38,919
You make it sound
like a bad thing.
475
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:40,514
To my godchild.
476
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:42,479
Why not? It closed the deal.
477
00:19:42,547 --> 00:19:44,577
I set a precedent!
478
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:47,792
What is the name?
479
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,923
Don't... don't worry,
it's a strong name.
480
00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:51,458
What's the name?
481
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,393
It's a powerful
name, a tough name.
482
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,258
What's the name?
483
00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:57,955
Marlboro.
484
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,230
Marlboro?
485
00:19:59,297 --> 00:20:00,727
You're naming the baby Marlboro?
486
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:01,829
Only if it's a boy.
487
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,240
If it's a girl, it's Parliament!
488
00:20:04,302 --> 00:20:06,072
Arliss, you are depraved.
489
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,268
You pitched Winston,
490
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:08,519
what the hell's the difference?
491
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,280
You've done some scummy things,
492
00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:11,942
but naming a kid
after a cigarette?
493
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,280
Is inspired!
494
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,675
Oh, mm-hm?
495
00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:17,776
It's the only way they can
advertise cigarettes in this country.
496
00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:20,649
They'll be saying, "There
goes Carmen Cavallo
497
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,919
"with her little Marlboro man.
498
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:26,659
Arliss Michaels
thought of that."
499
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,255
God, I'm good.
500
00:20:28,326 --> 00:20:31,226
I'm calling Carmen and Samantha.
501
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,126
You're not callin' anybody.
502
00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:36,598
I made a deal. They want my
sperm, I want my precedent.
503
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:37,798
Tit for that!
504
00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:39,659
Ohh!
505
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,436
Remember, godmother,
if they don't want me,
506
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:43,106
they might not want you either.
507
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:45,005
That would be a shame.
508
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,347
I know how much
your heart is set on it.
509
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,390
Operator's voice: If
you'd like to make a call,
510
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,715
please hang up and dial again.
511
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,923
I want maternity leave.
512
00:20:56,988 --> 00:20:59,988
What are you talking
about? You're not pregnant.
513
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:01,428
Are you?
514
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,203
Godmother maternity leave.
515
00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:05,431
One month, paid.
516
00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:08,697
There's no such thing as
godmother maternity leave.
517
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,097
I'm setting a precedent.
518
00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:13,610
(doorbell)
519
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:19,241
Hey, Stanley, what's
up, man, come on in.
520
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,251
Here, I, uh, brought
you some fan mail
521
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:22,383
that came into the office.
522
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:23,877
Hey, man, thanks.
523
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,359
Hey, look here, man,
you wanna check out
524
00:21:25,383 --> 00:21:26,653
My new Sega Dreamcast?
525
00:21:26,718 --> 00:21:28,318
Oh, uh, no thanks.
526
00:21:28,386 --> 00:21:30,886
Um, so are you excited
about graduating?
527
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,256
Hey, look, man.
528
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:34,694
I just wanna get it over
with, you know what I mean?
529
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,730
Getting a degree, it's a
major accomplishment.
530
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:38,896
Yeah, man.
531
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,804
Lotta work, lotta time,
532
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:41,866
lotta studying.
533
00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:43,643
You got it.
534
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:44,902
Lotta reading.
535
00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:50,679
Hey, man, I'm actually
kinda busy right now.
536
00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,407
Simon... I can help.
537
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,450
What, help me what?
What you gonna do?
538
00:21:58,517 --> 00:22:00,417
You gonna help me
shoot a free throw?
539
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,385
You gonna help me
crash the boards?
540
00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:04,664
No, no, but you
know, and I know...
541
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:06,633
Know what? Know
what? Tell me what!
542
00:22:06,691 --> 00:22:09,901
Okay, boys, what do you think?
543
00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:13,201
I bought this dress
five years ago,
544
00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:15,125
when you were
supposed to graduate.
545
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,300
Didn't think I'd ever
get a chance to wear it.
546
00:22:18,370 --> 00:22:22,340
Had to lose a few
pounds, but it was worth it.
547
00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:26,807
Grandma... you
look like a queen.
548
00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:28,648
Oh, sweetheart.
549
00:22:28,713 --> 00:22:33,523
Mr. Babson, did your
grandmother see you graduate?
550
00:22:33,585 --> 00:22:34,685
She did.
551
00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:37,723
Oh, she must've been so proud.
552
00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:41,189
She probably felt the
same way I'm feeling now.
553
00:22:41,259 --> 00:22:42,929
Oh, grandma...
554
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:49,971
(snoring and moaning)
555
00:22:52,270 --> 00:22:53,340
(phone ringing)
556
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:54,765
Ughh!
557
00:22:56,641 --> 00:22:57,641
Arliss Michaels.
558
00:22:57,676 --> 00:22:59,106
Arliss, you must come over here.
559
00:22:59,177 --> 00:23:02,747
Carmen, you're not thinking of
changing your mind, are you?
560
00:23:02,814 --> 00:23:04,354
Now!
561
00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:06,416
Carmen, she loves you.
562
00:23:06,484 --> 00:23:08,194
Trust me, she loves you.
563
00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:09,793
Carmen: We are in here.
564
00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:11,755
"We're", that's a
good sign, "we're"...
565
00:23:11,823 --> 00:23:12,993
Carmen, whatever it is,
566
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:16,058
don't worry, Uncle
Arliss is here.
567
00:23:16,127 --> 00:23:18,337
Okay, I got chocolate chip
cookie dough and Cherry Garcia.
568
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:20,133
They were out of Chunky Monk...
569
00:23:20,198 --> 00:23:22,968
Smile!
570
00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:24,274
What's going on?
571
00:23:24,336 --> 00:23:25,896
We have invited our circle.
572
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:27,441
This is an event to celebrate.
573
00:23:27,505 --> 00:23:30,235
I'm ovulating!
574
00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:32,838
You mean now, here?
575
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:34,451
With all these people?
576
00:23:34,512 --> 00:23:37,552
It's put up or shut up time.
577
00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:40,894
Have you chosen a name?
578
00:23:40,952 --> 00:23:42,722
No, no, no, not yet,
579
00:23:42,787 --> 00:23:43,857
but don't worry.
580
00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:45,962
It'll be something
that says "strength",
581
00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:47,024
"Power"!
582
00:23:47,058 --> 00:23:48,328
Class action suit.
583
00:23:48,393 --> 00:23:50,303
Something that goes
well with Cavallo.
584
00:23:50,362 --> 00:23:51,762
Hurlbutt.
585
00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:53,160
I beg your pardon?
586
00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:54,351
No, we're not using Cavallo.
587
00:23:54,399 --> 00:23:55,869
We're using my last name.
588
00:23:57,636 --> 00:23:58,636
Your last name?
589
00:23:58,703 --> 00:23:59,973
Yes.
590
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:03,408
I don't want the baby
living in the shadow of me.
591
00:24:03,475 --> 00:24:04,475
With my last name,
592
00:24:04,542 --> 00:24:06,212
the kid can have a
normal childhood.
593
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,748
Your last name?
594
00:24:07,812 --> 00:24:10,052
That's right... Hurlbutt.
595
00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:11,475
Like the thing you sit on.
596
00:24:11,549 --> 00:24:14,649
Hurl... butt.
597
00:24:14,719 --> 00:24:16,419
Go get 'em, tiger.
598
00:24:16,488 --> 00:24:17,588
(cheering)
599
00:24:17,656 --> 00:24:20,356
Here ya go, here ya go...
600
00:24:20,425 --> 00:24:21,685
Viagra.
601
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,430
No, get in there!
602
00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:28,234
Marlboro Hurlbutt?
603
00:24:34,205 --> 00:24:37,475
♪ He's got the whole
world in his hands ♪
604
00:24:37,542 --> 00:24:40,812
♪ He's got the whole
wide world in his hands... ♪
605
00:24:40,879 --> 00:24:42,179
Shit, shit, shit...
606
00:24:43,548 --> 00:24:45,248
Think, think, think!
607
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,017
♪ ... In his hands ♪
608
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,215
♪ He's got you
and me, sister... ♪
609
00:24:49,287 --> 00:24:51,487
Arliss: A great
hitter once told me
610
00:24:51,556 --> 00:24:54,626
that in crunch time, a
wonderful thing happens.
611
00:24:54,693 --> 00:24:57,933
Time slows, vision grows sharp.
612
00:25:01,132 --> 00:25:04,302
I take pride in
rolling up my sleeves,
613
00:25:04,369 --> 00:25:06,569
and delivering in the clutch.
614
00:25:08,506 --> 00:25:10,806
Brimming with
unabashed optimism,
615
00:25:10,875 --> 00:25:14,505
I always see the
cup as half full.
616
00:25:16,982 --> 00:25:18,422
Bottoms up.
617
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:25,815
Even after rising
to the occasion,
618
00:25:25,890 --> 00:25:27,390
the job's never done.
619
00:25:27,459 --> 00:25:30,899
I prepare for the
next seminal moment.
620
00:25:30,962 --> 00:25:33,472
Simon Louis Hawthorne.
621
00:25:33,531 --> 00:25:36,371
(applause and cheers)
622
00:25:36,434 --> 00:25:37,904
Arliss: When we
blaze new trails,
623
00:25:37,969 --> 00:25:40,339
we set a benchmark
for others to follow.
624
00:25:40,405 --> 00:25:42,565
Seemingly
insurmountable obstacles
625
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,180
are met with equal measures
of innovation and enthusiasm.
626
00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:47,784
To be a beacon of hope
627
00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:49,706
is to lead by example.
628
00:25:55,020 --> 00:25:56,030
So what are you hoping for?
629
00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:57,224
A boy or a girl?
630
00:25:57,288 --> 00:25:59,058
As long as it has 10
fingers and 10 toes,
631
00:25:59,124 --> 00:26:00,664
I'll call it a miracle.
632
00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:02,025
Right, daddy?
633
00:26:02,093 --> 00:26:04,403
If one is to be a groundbreaker,
634
00:26:04,462 --> 00:26:06,832
One must prepare to
be a groundbreaker.
635
00:26:06,898 --> 00:26:07,928
Yes!
636
00:26:09,134 --> 00:26:11,874
Always expect the unexpected.
637
00:26:20,745 --> 00:26:22,705
My name is Arliss Michaels.
638
00:26:22,781 --> 00:26:24,781
I represent athletes.
639
00:26:24,849 --> 00:26:27,449
These are my stories.
640
00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:34,593
♪ I got a thing for you ♪
641
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:39,329
♪ I know you got
a thing for me ♪
642
00:26:39,397 --> 00:26:44,267
♪ If love is a question, the
answer will set you free ♪
643
00:26:46,838 --> 00:26:50,208
♪ Said you would
always be my girl ♪
644
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:54,345
♪ You said you'd always
be the center of my world ♪
645
00:26:54,412 --> 00:26:56,882
♪ Look at where we are ♪
646
00:26:56,948 --> 00:26:59,478
♪ But things have changed ♪
647
00:27:01,719 --> 00:27:07,389
♪ I can't lie, Girl, you
are the apple of my eye ♪
648
00:27:08,726 --> 00:27:10,726
♪ You're the cherry in my pie ♪
649
00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:13,665
♪ Let me be your guy all day ♪
650
00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:18,704
♪ I got a thing for you ♪
651
00:27:18,770 --> 00:27:23,370
♪ I know you got
a thing for me ♪
652
00:27:23,441 --> 00:27:25,411
♪ If love is a question ♪
653
00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:27,807
♪ The answer will set you free ♪
654
00:27:30,615 --> 00:27:32,945
♪ I love you ♪
655
00:27:34,252 --> 00:27:36,292
♪ It's sappy but it's true ♪
656
00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:39,659
♪ You say you love me ♪
657
00:27:39,724 --> 00:27:43,604
♪ Let's make love like
the birds and the bees ♪
658
00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:47,933
♪ I got a thing for you ♪
659
00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:49,769
♪ I know you got a thing ♪
660
00:27:49,819 --> 00:27:54,369
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