All language subtitles for A.P Bio s04e03 An Oath to Rusty.eng

[school bell rings]

- Ready to begin?

[lively music]

[grunts softly]

Whoa!
[cackles]

Whoops.
Wide right!

Marissa, grab that axe for me,
would you?

Y'all loving this or what?

- This is fun.
Very fun.

- Mr. Griffin, is there
anything bothering you

in your personal life?

A new career setback?
Relationship issues?

- Oh, please nothing
with the lovely Lynette.

Please nothing
with the lovely Lynette.

- So, Lynette and I
are taking a little break.

- No!
No, no, no, no, no.

- This is something adults
do sometimes.

- [sobs]

- They break up.

- Ah, [bleep] this!

- She said I was incapable
of real vulnerability,

which could cause
a multitude of problems.

But she also acknowledged that
this is a very difficult thing

for a lot of people,
not just me.

- This is not happening!
[bleep]

- Here's your axe.

- Thanks, Marissa.

The thing that
you youngsters will learn

is that this type of thing

has less and less impact
the older you get.

* *

Bullseye!
Yeah.

[Ramones'
"Listen to My Heart"]

- One, two, three, four!

- * Next time,
I'll listen to my heart *

* Next time,
well, I'll be smart *

* *

[doorbell rings]

[playful music]

* *

- Hey, Mr. Griffin.
- Marcus.

- Courtesy of Mom
and Pop Kasperak.

- Mm-hmm.

- So, uh, got about
an hour to kill.

What're you thinking?
Maybe pop some brewskis?

- No.
- Watch some Skinemax?

- God, no.
- Talk about your broken heart?

* *

Yeah.

You know, Sadie,
my college girlfriend,

when she left me,
I was wrecked.

She came crawlin' back.

You know what they say,
"Once you go Kasperak, you--"

- Ugh.

- So, you know, maybe
Lynette will come back.

- Stop, stop.

Look, this isn't
one of those things

where you and I are gonna bond
and become friends, okay?

This is me pretending
to tutor you

for mutual monetary gain.

And that's all it is.

- Roger that.
- Great.

- Whoa.

You play Twilight Imperium?

- I played a lot at Cambridge

where intelligent people
enjoy complex strategy games.

- I play with
the Emirates of Hacan.

- You would.
- Let me guess.

You're a Ghosts of Creuss guy.

- I like wormholes.
Duh.

- Well, I wouldn't let
the Space Bunnies

get a foothold on any
of the worlds you're after.

* *

- Okay, you wanna get crushed,
Marcus? Fine.

Would it make you happy
to get crushed?

* *

All right.

- Now that you're single, who
you hanging out with, you know?

Who're your dudes?
Your buds?

- I don't know.
Uh, Durbin?

- Your boss?
No other bros or--

- Yes, I have
other bros, Marcus.

Just, you know--

Like, there's, um...

- Tick tock, tick tock, tick
tock, tick tock, tick tock.

- Marcus, Marcus!

You know, you gotta be
less than $50 annoying

for this arrangement to work.

And do me a favor.

Focus on activating
your space cannon.

- Me too.

I've also been having
nightmares about the trial.

Just knowing such evil exists!

[chips crunching loudly]

- Dave!

Can't you see we're trying

to eavesdrop
on our good friend?

- Do you want me to suck
the chips, ladies?

- Yes. Damn, Dave.
Suck 'em.

- Great idea.
I won't.

Not to anyone.

You have my word, Rusty.

[phone beeps]

- Was that another juror?

- When are you going to tell us

all the juicy details
about your jury duty?

- Oh, I can't.

- The trial is over.

You are allowed to talk
about the case,

according
to Ohio statuette 45.12.

- I'm sorry.
I made an oath to Rusty.

- Rusty who?
- Mm.

I don't know his last name.

Anyway, we promised each other

we would keep the twisted
details to ourselves.

[both sigh]

- Stef, you know our girl
has no poker face.

All we have to do is guess,
and she'll tell us everything.

Was it something to do
with alligators?

- Why would you start
with that?

Do the regular ones first,
like,

was it third degree murder?

Second degree?
Okay.

Did it involve an alligator?

- It wasn't a flasher, was it?

She would have told us
if it was a flasher.

- Yeah.
[gasps]

Michelle, you convicted
a flasher and didn't tell us.

[tense music]

- Not convicted?

Acquitted?

He's a free man?

- Oh, my God.

There is a flasher
on the loose,

and he thinks he's invincible.

[air hissing]

- Got it.

- Well, I blew it.

- With the tater tot vendor?

Did he give you
the discount Prairie got?

- No.
In fact, he said,

"Ralph, I need to raise
the price 10%."

I didn't even ask
any follow-up questions.

I just said, "Thank you, Don.

All my best to Daphne."

- You gave that mean man
and his mean wife your best?

All of it?

- You should just lay me
on your stoop and write,

"Home is where the wine is"
on my face

because I am a doormat.

- Ralph Durbin, do you remember
the Tony Robbins seminar

we took, "Reclaim Your Power"?

- Sort of.
I mean,

we only watched the free
15 minute intro online.

- Well, all you have to do
is three simple things.

You put your shoulders
way back far like this;

you talk loud
and you talk really fast;

and you call B.S.
on anybody who wrongs you.

- So I says to the mayor,

"Get control
of those invasive carp

"or I'm gonna cover
my pontoon in dynamite,

drive her out
to the Maumee and kaplowee!"

- There's your practice.

Joyce has had your leaf blower
for a whole year.

[whispers]
Do it.

- So the mayor says,
"How you gonna get off

the pontoon if it explodes?"

I say, "Ever heard of a canoe?"

- Joyce, stop.

Where is my leaf blower?

- It's in my garage.
Sorry.

I keep forgetting.
- I call B.S., Joyce.

Are you forgetting, or do
you simply not respect me?

- Fine.

I lent it to my cousin
as a Christmas gift.

I gave it to my cousin.

- Well, you're going to give it
back to me tomorrow.

Capisce?

- And I says,
"Oh, are we listing boats now?

Well, how about paddle boat?

Flat bottom boat."

He says, "Oh, that's the boat
my wife has."

I says, "Oh, your wife
has a flat bottom?

My husband has a small dinghy."

[cackles]

- [groans]

- We're gonna have
to go way deeper

for you to reclaim your power.

- Mr. Griffin
is dangerously lonely.

There is a study
in here that says

that men who have male friends

live five years longer
than men who don't.

He's gonna die prematurely.

- And what snake oil
establishment

published
this so-called research?

- Harvard University.

- [groans]

- Yo, Mr. G, you want me
to mess that up for you?

- No, I got it.
I got it.

- All right.

- [grunts]

All right, pass it back.
Pass it back to him.

I want--yes.

[light percussion music]

* *

Thank you, Dan.

My innocent little dummies.

You guys don't think
I have any friends?

I have so many friends.

Most of them are, you know,
coastal or international.

I mean, look,
if I swung by Paris tonight,

there'd be multiple Marcels

who would want to pick me up
from the airport.

Not to mention all the Mariuses

who'd be begging for me
to crash on their couches.

- Why not give your
fake friends a guest room?

- The saddest part, he tried
to count Durbin as his friend.

all: Aww.
[several giggle]

- Well, beggars
can't be choosers.

- Yeah, well, I'm not a beggar,
Yuyao, okay?

Durbin is my friend.

- He's your boss.

That's like me saying
I'm friends

with the shadow girl
that lives in my closet.

She's not my friend.
She's my boss.

- Yeah.
Durbin don't count.

- According to my calculations,

that takes you back
to having zero male friends.

- Durbin is my friend, damn it!

We're buds, and that's that.
All right?

He's gonna be a pallbearer
at my funeral.

Carrying one
of the front corners too

and not the thankless
middle section.

And let me tell you guys
something else.

I don't give a damn
if he pays me!

Ralph Durbin is one
of the best friends

I have ever had!

[patriotic music]

- [breathing heavily]

- I wonder who's going
to carry my coffin.

Four open corners, boys.

Any takers?

- God, uh, Mr. Griffin,
if I may--

- You mayn't.
- Perhaps the reason

you struggle
to befriend male peers

is because you're controlling.

I, like you, am an only child,

and we can be difficult
to play with.

If we don't get our way,
we go bananas.

- I don't go bananas, okay?

Who here has ever seen me
go bananas?

- Do we count
when you freaked out

and tried to tear
that medical journal in half?

- Yes, I noted at the time

that you were being
"bananas in pajamas."

- Look, guys,
I have male friends.

Okay?
And that's the end of it.

- Hmm. So if you wanted to put
together a guys' game night

for, say, I don't know,
this Friday night,

you could gather
three to four dudes?

- Easily.

- Care to make it interesting?
20 bones?

- You know what?
Let's make it 50.

I'm gonna win your half
of the tutoring money.

[playfully tense music]

[both laughing]

- Boy, he was PO'd!

[Jack joins laughter]

- We talkin' pissed off?

- Yeah.
- Who was it?

- It was Greg.

- Of course it was Greg.
[laughs]

Which one's Greg again?

- Calculus teacher.

He had a fit
at the staff cookout.

- Ah!

- "Unfairness, and I'm taking
my net with me!"

[laughter]

- "Unfairness, and I'm taking

my crock pot of weenies
with me!"

- There wasn't a crock pot
of weenies.

This was a Spanish potluck
for Señora Tammy's retirement.

- Yeah, paella, gazpacho,
patatas bravas.

You know, no weenies.

- Guessed wrong.
Sorry 'bout that.

[chuckles]

Ahh!
Christ, this was fun.

Hey, you guys wanna
do a game night Friday?

And if so, what kind of snacks
would you want?

- Ah, pigs in a blanket.
Yeah.

But Friday night, I have plans
to polish off a bottle of wine

and bathe my mother in-law.

* *

- Okay. Well, why did you say
the snack thing first

'cause I already
wrote that down.

- Uh...
- Yeah.

Coach, you free?
- Sure.

And snack-wise, I'm a sucker
for that olive oil popcorn.

- Okay.

- This Tony Robbins stuff
is already working.

Jack suddenly wants me
to carry his coffin.

- That's great,
but if you're gonna stand up

to the tater tot exec,
you gotta dig deeper.

- Okay.

- Your cowardice is ancestral.

It goes way back, but to whom?

- My grandma.

My--my grandma, when she lost
our family farm to locusts,

it taught me to be weak

and--and--and to give up
when things got tough.

- Yes.
Call Frances Durbin

and reclaim your power.

[dramatic percussion music]

- It's going to voicemail.

[deeper voice]
Uh, Granny, this is Ralph.

I wish you'd fought harder
against the locusts.

Your legacy ends here.

Goodbye.

- I call B.S.

Your voice was mean,
but your eyes were tender.

- Well, actually,
I call bull S.

This tough gal exterior
might fool some people,

but we all know
you're soft inside.

Where's your backbone,
Demarcus?

- I don't know.
- Who took it from you?

- My dentist.

My dentist treats me
like garbage

on a tri-yearly basis.

He doesn't know
how much I floss!

- Well, I'm gonna call
bull S-H-I-T on that, Helen.

Your dentist stole your power?

* *

Tell me about Daddy.

- Oh no, you don't.

I call a hot loose goose
bull S on you,

for calling a bull...

- No, no.
- S-H-I-T on me.

- You--you do not call
a boomerang B.S. on me!

- I do, and I will.

- You do not boomerang B.S.
on me.

- I do, and I will.
- Because I will catch

that boomerang,
and I will throw it back--

- And I will catch it
backwards, like this,

and I'll throw it back at you.

- You will not.
- I will head butt it back.

- They keep saying
it's super simple,

but I'm, like, so nervous.

- I'm sure they do this
all the time.

- Hey, what's up?

What are you guys
talking about?

- Dale's gotta have a procedure
to widen his urethra.

- Oh.

Oh, no.

Uh, well, do you guys mind
if I join the convo?

- That's the conversation
you want to join?

Dale's urethra surgery?

- The doctor says we're not
allowed to call it a surgery.

He refers to it as a "trick."

- Oh.

God.

Um, well, hey--
what are you guys doing Friday?

And what are y'all's
favorite snacks?

- Now, does this flasher
have a button nose?

- [moans uncertainly]

- That sounds like a "yes"
on button nose.

- Okay.

- I know you're not loving
this, but we have no choice.

- Oh, my God, I have been
so jumpy every time

I pass a guy in a trench coat.

Inspector Gadget--
ruined for me.

- I wear this dog cone
when I walk to my car

so I can't see
below waist level.

- I'm sorry you guys
are so stressed.

I wish there was something
I could do to ease your fears.

- You could tell us
what he looks like

so we know who to avoid.

- I can't.
I made an oath to Rusty!

- Rusty.
The man you barely even know.

Meanwhile,
one of your best friends

is walking around dressing up

as a fresh-from-the-vet
ass dog.

- Right.
And I can't remember.

Was it Rusty whose lease
you had to co-sign

because his credit
was terrible?

No.
That was me, Michelle.

- Mm.

Now, does this creep
have straight hair?

- [groans]

- Curly hair?

- [squeals]

- And would you say he has

a reasonable amount
of forehead?

- [wails]

- An unreasonable amount
of forehead?

- [squeals uncertainly]

- Oh, my God.
- [squeals uncertainly]

- It's Dave?

[dramatic music]

* *

[both gasp]

[playful music]

- That's my little gal.
She had six kittens total.

Seven if you count the runt,
which I don't.

- Frickin' adorable.

- That's pure joy
wrapped in fur.

- Got olive oil popcorn
for Coach.

Potato chips for Dale.
- Thank you.

- And homemade

pork shumai dumplings for Hans.

- [sniffs]

Did you make the soy ponzu
dipping sauce?

Well, I don't see scallions.

- Uh!
[laughs]

- They'll do.

- Okay, great.

Hey, did you guys get a chance

to review my email about how
to play Twilight Imperium?

- That long-ass attachment?

Uh, was that in English, Jack?

[all chuckle]

- Yeah, it was.
Okay, that's--

Yeah, all right.

It's a complicated game,
so it would've--

That's okay.
That's all right.

Sorry,
just recalibrating here.

I will break it down
for you guys.

No big.
No big.

So, Twilight Imperium
is, essentially,

a large-scale space opera
that is as challenging

as it is rewarding.

You know what?
Why don't we start

by everyone picking
a race of aliens?

- Ooh, what race is ET?
Because I want to be that one.

- I'll be Melmacian.
That's ALF.

[cat meows on phone,
phone vibrates]

- Sounds like dinnertime.

- Oh, boy. The cat sitter
sent a new photo.

Look, it's the stars of
the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee.

- Oh, come on.

- You gotta send me
those kitty pics, Coach.

My girlfriend's gonna love
those little stinkers.

- Okay.
That's it.

Phones in the basket.

Come on.
Let's go.

- Oh, you're not
getting my phone.

I'm a grown man.
Next.

- Sorry, I'm on call.

Vera, the mama cat,
she's got a teat infection.

And if her fever spikes,

I gotta scoot
to the cat hospital.

- Well, I'm just gonna
take my phone back

if everyone else
isn't going to do it.

- Let's talk big picture, okay?

So, the Winnaarans,

custodians
of the galactical council,

are saying that anyone
can win the throne.

And that's you guys.

[cat meows on phone,
phone vibrates]

* *

- Oh.
- Shit!

Ah, the board!

Grab towels.
Grab towels.

- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's all right.

It's mostly just soaked
New Albion.

Oh no, it's spreading
to Resculon--and Corneeq!

It's spreading to Corneeq.
Get towels!

- I don't know where
you keep your towels.

- In the drawer, Dale!
Where else would towels be?

Doy, Dale.
Duh!

- Hey, what if
we just play poker?

We all know that one, right?

Might be more fun.

- Oh, yeah.
Sure, Coach.

Yeah, no.
That sounds good.

- Oh, shoot.

Does this mean
we don't get to spend

our Friday night
battling over planet Poo Poo,

currently occupied
by the Pee Pee?

[all chuckling]

- Nope.

[cat meows on phone,
phone vibrates]

- Boots got his head caught
in a Kleenex box.

all: Aww.

- I hate you guys
and your stupid idiot kittens!

* *

[muffled screaming]

- [light knocks]

- You okay, bud?

Hey, I'm sorry I didn't know
where your towels were.

Do you wanna apologize
for yelling at me?

For saying doy to me?

- No.

- I know you wanted to make
tonight a fun night, but...

maybe your game was just
a little too complicated.

- It's challenging to learn,

but therefore
more exhilarating to master.

- Look, we're just
a bunch of doofs.

Having some brews,
trying to forget our week.

Everybody likes poker.
Do you wanna play poker?

Do you like pizza?

We ordered pizza.

[bright music]

Oh.

Now I got his attention.

[chuckles]

Come on, bud.

Let's go downstairs
and have some fun, huh?

Pow!

I don't have kids.

Super excited to someday.

* *

- [clears throat]

I'm sorry I said
I hated everyone.

And I'm sorry that I said

that your kittens
were stupid idiots.

I mean, they might
be stupid idiots,

but that doesn't matter.

That's not what
kittens are for.

- They're actually very smart.

- May I see them?

I see why they're on
the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee.

* *

[school bell rings]

- I can't do this anymore.

We--we've been at it
for three days.

I am physically
and emotionally spent.

- I call B.S., buttercup.

We are so close
to harnessing your power.

Who taught you that you weren't
worth a good goddamn?

Who said your penmanship
wasn't manly enough?

- Mama.
Mama did that.

It's going to voicemail.
- Do it.

- Mama, it's Ralph.

I wanna thank you
for treating me

like a second-class citizen.

I became stronger
because I had to be.

You messed me up!
Thank you!

[phone beeps]

- [breathing heavily]

Ralph Durbin,
you're a goddamn tiger.

- Raaaaahhhhh!

- Now you're ready.

- Hello, Don.
Yeah, it's Ralph.

Listen.
Those price hikes?

They're not gonna work
for me, bud.

I'm not paying a penny more
for those tots.

Oh, good.
Good.

I'm glad you see it my way.

Oh, Daphne says hi?

Well, you can tell your wife

to kiss my ass!

- Yes!
That was great.

Wasn't that worth it?
- Absolutely.

We--we saved $84 a year.

- Not another step.
Stop right there.

- More work to do.

- Keep your hands
where we can see them.

[playful percussion music]

- Coming through.

What's the ruckus all about?

- Dave's a flasher.

- Look at his
pervy-ass trench coat.

- It's raining in Morenci.

- Only one way to prove
your innocence, Dave.

Open that coat.

[suspenseful music]

* *

- Fully clothed.
- Okay.

See, it was the naked ankles
that threw us off.

- I rolled them up
'cause I wanted to splash

in some puddles, jeesh.

- Sorry, Dave.

Michelle was lying to us
out of her own face.

- What's the story, Michelle?

- Yeah, tell us what happened
at the trial.

- Damn!
Dang.

Oh!
I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna break my oath
to Rusty.

[huffs]

There was no moon
the night Miss Devons

reported for the graveyard
shift at Franklin Park Mall.

As security guard,
it was her job

to make sure that nobody stole
any of the shopping carts

at JCPenney's.

But that night,
someone did steal them.

In fact, he stole three.

[suspenseful music falls]

- That's it?
[phone vibrates]

- Who the hell is this?

My mom.
It's my mom.

- Oh, no.
Don't answer it.

- What do I do?
- Don't answer it.

[phone vibrating]

Yah, yah!

- My--my Tinder profile
is not locked.

[playful percussion music]

- [chuckles]

Mm!

Well, Marcus, I won.

I won.
Yeah.

And you know what?

I don't even want
your money, man.

I don't want it 'cause it
just feels so good to win.

I said I had guy friends,
and I do.

Anthony,
what are you doing, man?

Pass the phone around.

- Were you crying just
before this photo was taken?

- No.

I mean, my eyes might
have been watering

a little bit
from the peppers on the pizza.

- I cry when I eat pizza

because I burn my mouth
every time.

- Yeah, Me too.
[some agreement]

Been there.
It happens.

- Yeah, Heather, we're just
passing the phone around

to take a look
at the one picture.

- Sorry, boss.

Full disclosure.

I did see your lady bug
on a leaf series.

- Well, you also
saw the picture

that proves Marcus was wrong.

Here, take a look.

Yep, me and the guys, we've got
a standing game night now, so--

- So I guess this is
probably gonna scratch

your Twilight Imperium itch,
huh?

- Ah, Christ,
do you know what, Marcus?

You were right.

I didn't get my way,
and I did indeed go bananas.

Yes, Eduardo, "in pajamas."

Yeah, that's why it looks like
I'm crying in the photo.

I was actually just sweaty
from burying my face

in the bed and screaming.

- Been there.

So, um, we still on for Sunday?

- Yeah.
Yeah, we're on.

I mean, yeah,
if you wanna get crushed again.

[upbeat music]

* *

- Okay.

Trudy, Trudy.
Just go with this, okay?

I don't care.

Jack Griffin is one of the
greatest men I've ever known,

and this is not about money.

I can't wait to meet someone
and fall in love,

and when I ask them
to marry me,

I'm gonna call my mom, my dad,
and Jack Griffin

and ask him to be
the best man at my wedding.

- Are you asking me out
on a date?

- It's--Trudy, just shh.
You're ruining it.

You're ruining it.

- Because I've always
kind of felt--

- Wow.
Thanks, Ralph.

- Jack!
I didn't know you were here.

This is--this is embarrassing.

[both chuckle]

[playful music]

No, Trudy!

* *

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