Original subtitles

Previously on Legends Of Tomorrow...

Well, you really have buggered everything up this time.

Guys, I think we broke time.

As you can see, my agents are hard at work dealing with these

- anachronisms that you created. - Anachronisms?

People, places and things

displaced from their native time periods.

I am Gaius Julius Caesar of Rome.

I told you I was leaving to create an organization

to replace the Time Masters.

Rip doesn't think he needs us now that he's got the Time Bureau.

Because the Time Bureau is capable of

getting the job done without the mess.

We're the ones who broke history, we should be the ones that fix it.

- Problem solved. - I gotta say, Ms. Lance.

Now that I've seen your team in action with my own eyes...

Howdy.

You're even worse than I imagined.

Don't look.

What are you doing here?

I live here.

What's all this?

What part of, "I'm making you a birthday surprise.

"Stay out of the apartment" did you not understand?

I thought you meant lingerie and, you know, sex,

not whatever this is.

I'm making donuts. Chocolate covered donuts.

'Cause you said they were your favorite when you were little.

You're making them from scratch?

How else would I make them?

You'd do what my mom did.

You go to the corner store and you get them for two bucks a box.

Nobody makes anything from scratch anymore.

So all this was for nothing?

No. Donuts are never for nothing.

And, being creative,

I'm sure I can figure out a way to use that chocolate sauce.

Mmm.

I got it. Don't worry.

All right. Five-second rule. We're good. It's okay.

- I'll make some more. - No, you are done.

You can't do anything else.

We're doing the rest of this 2017 style.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the corner store

to get us chocolate covered donuts the way my mom used to buy them.

Tonight's breaking news, Vixen caught on camera.

This video is rare footage of Vixen, Detroit's own superheroine,

Who has waged a one-person war

against drug dealers and corrupt cops alike

since she first appeared in the city three years ago.

All right, I got all of my mom's favorites.

I got chocolate donuts,

crumb cake...

Hello?

Amaya?

Hello?

Hello? Anybody home? McFly?

Sorry I was just... Thinking about donuts.

Okay, so where are we?

I was saying I reverse-engineered the Time Bureau tech

that Mick stole from Rip.

Now we can locate anachronisms, too.

- Nice work, man. - Also, check this out.

Our run-in with Caesar got me thinking.

What if there was a way to contain the anachronisms we pick up,

and not have them causing trouble on the ship,

or taking things they shouldn't?

Yeah, that's what we got the brig for.

Well, what if we have another L.A. situation?

Try putting a dinosaur in the brig. Huh?

- Not gonna happen. - No.

- Unless it's an Aquilops. - Or a Compsognathus.

Or a cute little Oviraptor.

Oh, okay. So, how do we contain them?

We make it smaller.

You built a Shrink Ray?

Not particularly fond of that name.

I'm calling it the Hyper Molecular Compressor.

It's a more powerful and portable version of the tech from my suit.

- So a Shrink Ray? - Essentially.

I perfected the work I was moonlighting on at Upswipz.

Nice.

It'll return to normal size in 24 hours,

or if you don't want to wait...

Oh, you're on fire, dude.

All right, let's gather the rest of the team

and check out the new anachronism map.

We really messed up time.

Looks like we gave time acne.

Each of these dots represents an anachronism we created

by breaking time.

Rip's Bureau rates them on a scale of one to ten

according to their magnitude of impact and potential difficulty.

Gideon, can you analyze this data?

Certainly, Dr. Palmer.

Look at all of these.

It's gonna take a lifetime to clean up this mess. Maybe several.

Where should we start?

What about Great Wall of China, level 6?

I ate Chinese last night. Where can I get a steak?

How about the North Atlantic Ocean, April 1912?

I hear the Titanic had amazing food.

Absolutely not. I refuse to set foot on the Titanic.

Whoever built that ship ought to be shot.

Anyways, I'm sure Little Miss Time Bureau

would love to see us mess this up.

So let's find something easy, a nice slam dunk.

Ooh. Wisconsin, 1870? It's a level 1.

Oh, I do hope you choose that one.

The anachronism is located at the grounds

of P.T. Barnum's Roving Museum of Freaks and Hypnotic Hippodrome.

Although he is erroneously credited

with the phrase, "There's a sucker born every minute,"

in truth, Mr. Barnum would have never belittled paying customers.

Perfect. We're bringing the circus to the circus.

This is a classic slice of Americana.

The air is thick with the smell of popcorn, candy, and wonder.

If I see a clown, I'm outta here.

What, you're afraid of clowns?

No, I just don't like their stupid faces.

And funny shoes.

And razor sharp teeth.

Their what?

All right, guys, if you were an anachronism hiding in the circus,

where would you be?

How about in there?

King Tut's Tomb? No way.

No way indeed.

They covered it in flour to make it look old.

Bearded Lady, hormone imbalance.

And Mr. Rory would make a far more convincing Cro-Magnon.

Marty, you can't look behind the curtain. Spoils the fun.

Fun? Tricks and humbug are all I see.

And these uneducated rubes come here in droves,

begging to be fooled.

No, people want to live in a world where anything is possible.

They want to be amazed.

Yes, and amazing as this is, we're wasting time.

Let's split up.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome one and all

to the best show on Earth!

That is a working title.

My roving show of wonders

has the most remarkable of oddities in store for you today.

Is it beautiful?

The very definition.

Is it deadly?

It can take your head from your shoulders in a single bite.

What makes this creature such a marvel,

is that it has been extinct for the last 10,000 years.

Are you guys hearing this?

Could be our anachronism.

Or another humbug.

Check it out just to be safe.

This exclusive, once in a lifetime opportunity could be yours

for only a nickel.

Yo. What's that smell?

Oh.

- Where there's poop... - There's a prize!

- Check it out. - Do we have to?

This is definitely feline feces, but unlike any I've ever seen.

You've studied a lot of poop, big guy?

As an Eagle Scout, I can interpret 175 different droppings.

The color and viscosity indicate a carnivorous diet,

but this movement took a long time to pass.

The meat looks like it was tough. Like rhinoceros or elephant hide.

I speak of a creature that comes to you

from the distant past.

I know what our anachronism is.

Contain it quick.

We can't let these people see the anachronism.

We don't want this to get any worse.

Bingo.

Gentlemen, may I present to you

the saber-toothed tiger.

Oh. Whoa.

Did I mention that I'm allergic to cats?

Please tell me you brought your shrink ray.

Molecular Hyper Compressor and yes.

Ray...

Shrinking a vase is very different from shrinking an extinct tiger.

Okay? I have to account for speed, lifespan, gender.

You think that's a male or a female?

I think it's awake.

- Ray, shoot it! Just shoot it! - A few more adjustments...

Oh, no.

Are you guys okay? I heard a roar.

Looks like our problem got a whole lot bigger.

Let me get this straight.

You three released a giant saber-toothed tiger?

"Release" isn't the word I'd use.

Yeah. More like, uh, "didn't contain."

Gideon, what's the status of the anachronism?

The anachronism has elevated from level 1 to level 4.

What? How is that even a thing?

We've made it worse, that's how.

So we just get Ray some allergy medicine and we go back out there.

None of us even have experience with animals.

Stay on the ship. Stay out of trouble.

Where the hell is she going?

Hey, girl.

How 'bout one final mission?

For old times sake.

I can't go with you, Sara.

I'm not asking you to join back up.

Just one easy mission.

Trapping a giant saber-toothed tiger is easy?

For you. Your powers are the quickest way to handle this.

Look, Amaya, I can't give the Time Bureau

an excuse to take the Waverider again.

I want to help you.

But my life's a little complicated right now.

Amaya.

Foyinsola, this is Sara.

Hey. What you got there?

I found it in an acacia tree.

Help! Please!

You should be asleep, little one.

Now run along to bed

before I have to summon the ashe of a cobra to scare you.

Normal life, it suits you.

You seem at peace here.

Goodbye, Amaya.

It was good to see you.

Wait.

Does Nathaniel know that I'd be returning?

Yeah.

He's thrilled.

I raise the pot one. Dishes duty.

All right, Professor, you sly fox.

I will raise you one... Amaya?

Can't bet what you already lost, pretty.

Hello, Nathaniel.

Amaya! What's good, girl?

How you been?

Ah.

I missed you.

- Hello. - Professor Stein.

Ship's not the same without you.

But we're fine without you. Everything's running smoothly.

Is that right?

Haircut here embiggened an extinct tiger.

Which Amaya and I are going to catch.

Then I have to return to Zambesi.

But we're gonna need your shrink ray, Ray.

I thought we talked about not calling it that.

And don't you need the rest of us?

- We can handle it. - Really?

You don't want us to come along and mess things up?

Enjoy your night.

You didn't tell Nathaniel, did you?

It's cool.

This is so not cool.

First, Amaya ghosts on me on my birthday, no heads up.

Then, she shows back up on the ship, again, no heads up.

Bro, she's from 1942.

Did you really think that was gonna work?

Well, I thought we were happy.

What happened?

I don't know. But instead of drinking maybe you should go find out.

No. She didn't want to talk, then. Why would she want to talk now?

And look, I don't want to sound like a jerk,

but she kind of let herself go.

Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, buddy.

The tiger's heading east.

Looks like he stopped here to sharpen his claws.

Don't tell me the infamous Sara Lance is scared of a big cat.

Giant tiger.

Don't worry. To animals, humans are the predators.

Even to other humans.

Whatever you do, don't run.

I spent my last greenback on that feline oddity.

The circus is shutting down.

You know I'd rather die before going back to Salem, Phineas.

There's some small-minded folk back there.

Small-minded folk everywhere.

Even the most retrograde ingrate wants to be entertained.

The human spirit longs for edification and delight.

We just need a showstopper to edify and delight them!

- Are you on Upswipz? - Yeah.

Connected through the Waverider.

This is Cindy, 5'9".

Profession, weather reporter. Loves kale.

Said she wants to meet up. That's nice.

"Do you have a time machine?"

- Just talk to Amaya. - That's what Jax said.

Wait. Are you two conspiring...

Are you conspiring against me?

Hey!

You owe the lady an apology.

That's not a lady, that's a freak.

Are you trying to pick a fight with me?

Because I would love to get into a fight right now.

If she's a freak, what am I?

That was marvelous!

A round of drinks on me.

It's actually time for us to be going.

No, come on, wait. We just met.

Please, are you going to tell me,

where did you learn a humbug like that?

Oh, that was no humbug, P to the T.

See, people like us, we gotta stick together.

And by the way, your beard, it's beautiful.

- You're so sweet. - She said I'm sweet.

I'm sorry. "People like us?"

Yeah, my friend Jax here turns into fire and flies.

No, that's just the whiskey talking. Right, buddy?

No, it's true. And my friend Ray here, turns teeny-weeny.

"Teeny-weeny"?

- Very funny, Nate. - Also, they're both capable of flight.

But if you want to know a real freak, P.T...

It's my ex-girlfriend.

She can summon the power of any animal.

Is that right?

I have an idea, fellas.

How about we meet, retire back to the circus

for a little private show?

Where I guarantee I've got the most beautiful

and flexible acrobats you've ever seen.

P.T. Barnum, you're on.

You had me at "circus."

Shouldn't you ashe up?

No. That will just provoke him.

Move downwind.

I'll distract and you shrink.

Easy.

I'm not here to hurt you.

It's kind of cute.

Well, I'm glad Nate finally took our advice

and went to talk to Amaya.

True. But, man, he is about to miss out.

I thought we needed the Tin Man.

In due time.

We have his friends.

Oh, smile, Hildy, we just might save the circus yet.

Hey, Sunshine!

What're you doing in my room?

Oh, this is not my room.

Where are Jax and Ray?

Shh. Yelling.

I'm gonna die. I don't remember.

What's the last thing that you do remember?

Whiskey.

So much...

It's all coming back to me.

We were headed to the circus for a private show.

And what, you decided to peel off and sleep in the cargo bay?

How could you abandon your own team?

Yeah, you're one to talk.

All right, let's stop wasting time. Let's go.

The loss of my saber-toothed tiger was indeed a blow.

But the fates have smiled on me again

because the "God of Fire" and the "Incredible Shrinking Man"

have joined my troop.

Think we've had a slight misunderstanding.

And I am truly grateful

that you have not used your special abilities to try to escape.

Special abilities? Man...

Like I told you before,

- that was just the liquor talking. - Uh-huh.

He's right, okay?

My friend and I, we're just regular plain ole folk from 1870.

Dishonesty is not your strong suit, my good man.

I saw what your friend did. That was no trick.

And he says you two are capable of wonders

just as marvelous.

So, chop, chop. Don't be shy.

- We can't. - Ah, poppycock.

He's right. He can't fire up without his partner, who's not here.

And I can't shrink without my exosuit. Also not here.

So you might as well just let us go 'cause we are obviously useless.

Totally useless.

Don't worry.

I'll make marvels out of you yet.

You said Ray and Jax would be here.

They're probably eating breakfast sandwiches

and a handful of Aspirin.

Or maybe they're in trouble.

Here? This place is harmless.

Then why are we being watched?

Guy in the hat? Six o'clock?

That guy?

Gary?

Nice work, Nathaniel.

What, you think I spooked him?

The smell of your breath alone would be enough.

You know what? You don't get to criticize me.

And you know why?

Because you're no longer a member of this team.

- You're right. - I am?

I don't blame you for going out and getting pie-eyed last night.

That's cool. I don't blame you for saying "pie-eyed."

My point is,

Sara should have told you that she was bringing me back from Zambesi.

- It must have been upsetting when... - Whoa. Hang on.

You think last night was because of you?

My God, Amaya, you are so conceited.

Last night wasn't even remotely about you. At all.

What was it about?

It was about me and the boys doing what we do, hanging out.

Sharing a few laughs, having a few drinks.

Ending up in a freak show.

Mmm.

You like meat, huh?

Here we go.

Come back here, you little rat bastard!

I don't understand. Who is this man and why have we taken him prisoner?

Professor Stein, meet Gary.

Please don't kill me.

I won't if you tell us why you were tailing us.

You two know each other?

Gary here works for Rip's Time Bureau.

And I'm guessing Agent Sharpe had her little stooge spying on us.

Isn't that right, Gary?

I'm not at liberty to discuss the nature of my...

All right, yes. She sent me to spy on you.

Good thing, too. Since you arrived here,

the anachronism has jumped from a level 1 to level 6.

We found the saber-tooth.

And it is safe and sound in its cage.

So I don't know how we could've made the anachronism worse.

My guess is we can thank our two missing teammates for that.

Nate, Amaya, please tell me you found the Hardy Boys.

Let's just hope they had the good sense to stick together.

Oh, they're stuck together all right.

P.T. Barnum has them dressed as conjoined twins.

Guys, get us out of here.

Man, I thought I had a rough night.

Not funny, Nate.

Come on, this harness is really uncomfortable.

I got this.

I must be dehydrated.

This never happened to me before, I swear.

- Where have I heard that one before? - Not from me.

She never heard that from me.

Amaya, an elephant ashe would come in really handy right now.

Well...

Look who joined the circus.

We're going to need a bigger tent.

I take it you're still too dehydrated to get us out of here?

Oh, God.

Stop judging me. Just summon your animal powers.

Believe me, you do not want me using this totem right now.

What does that mean?

I'm sorry, Nathaniel.

For what? For not using your powers

or ditching me on my birthday to hitch a ride back to Zambesi?

I didn't go to Zambesi. Not right away.

First I went to Detroit.

Detroit?

I had to see her in person.

Mari, my granddaughter.

I had to see if she was as incredible as people said she was.

I watched her save five people in one night.

She never knew I was there, but I knew that she was perfect.

I know it doesn't help,

but my decision to leave had nothing to do with you.

You're right, it doesn't.

'Cause if your badass granddaughter was in 2017,

why did you have to go back to 1942?

I asked Rip the same question.

He said that time hadn't yet solidified,

but if I stayed too long in 2017,

then Mari would disappear.

Why didn't you say anything?

I hated you for what you did.

I needed you to hate me.

So that you would move on.

If you knew how much it hurt me...

I would have found you.

I wanted to protect my granddaughter and I wanted to protect you.

Well, no offense, Amaya,

but considering we're both stuck in a rhino cage,

I'd say your plan backfired.

This is Agent 1066.

You failed to turn in your status report, Gary.

And then you ignored my attempts to contact you.

Somehow, during all of that, the level 1 has escalated

to a level 8.

And where the hell are you?

Is that the Waverider?

I told you to keep an eye on the Legends, not to join them.

Um...

Turns out, the Legends had things under control.

It was my interference with their,

to be honest, expert handling of the situation

which caused things to, well...

- Escalate. - Hmm.

Gary, if you're in over your head, I can send back-up immediately.

No. Uh... No back up.

Like I said, the Legends have things under control.

Uh, nice chatting. Gotta go.

- How'd I do? - You were great.

I can sense that Jefferson is extremely nervous.

Don't worry. We just have to rescue the team

and get back on the ship before that saber-tooth embiggens.

At least we know why the scale of the anachronism keeps climbing.

P.T. Barnum with real superheroes.

He'll expose Nate and Amaya to the entire world.

I'm detecting increased chronometric interference, Captain.

Agent Sharpe has boarded the Waverider.

Get Rory. You two have to save the others.

Wait, the two of us? Are you mad?

You can do this. I have faith in you.

Why?

Just go! I'll hold her off as long as I can.

Sara Lance, on behalf of the Time Bureau,

I'm placing you and your team under arrest.

Took you long enough.

I've been expecting you for hours.

Pursuant to Title 16, Section 3053 of the Global Treaty on Time Travel,

I have the authority to bring you and your team in.

Which arm?

The Global Treaty was negotiated

between Director Hunter and the United Nations.

No, I mean, if you try to bring me into the Bureau, I'll break your arm.

It's up to you. Right or left?

Your threats may work on Confederate zombies,

Quentin Turnbull's cronies, and Speedsters,

but you don't scare me.

I've spent the last five years watching your screw-ups.

I know everything about you.

Now where is the member of my team that you've taken hostage?

You mean Gary?

This ship is probably like a vacation after having to answer to you.

Last chance.

Come quietly and I'll make sure

you get your job back at Sink Shower & Stuff.

When did a Legend ever go quietly?

What are you looking at?

- Clowns. - Get a grip, man.

We're already down four members of our team.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the greatest show on the planet!

My roving Museum of Freaks and Hypnotic Hippodrome

has traveled this great nation

and I must say, I have never seen quite a good-looking,

and dare I say, astute audience

as the one gathered before me here today.

But a word of warning before we begin.

For the jaw-dropping spectacle that you are about to see

is not for the faint of heart.

May I now present you

Yin and Yang, the Wondrous and world-renowned Siamese twins.

Oh, my God.

A miracle of biblical proportions.

One mother, two fathers.

I'm not judging.

Both sons capable of amazing

strength, intelligence and coordination.

So juggle.

We need to create a diversion so we can get past those thugs

and merge with Jefferson.

You're on your own, Professor.

- Clowns! - Don't leave...

Now, what?

So, are you ready for your debut?

Kiss my ass.

I don't have time

to convince you of the creative joys and lucrative appeal

of being my showstopper.

Those hayseeds out there are gonna burn my circus down

if we don't give them their money's worth.

Let me make it very simple for you.

Become the man of steel...

That is very catchy, make a note of that.

Or get shot!

I don't respond well to threats.

- Nathaniel. - No.

I'm not one of your freaks.

Would you steel up for her?

Fine, I'll do it.

Rip should have recruited you to the Time Bureau.

Rip knows I'd never leave the team.

Your mistake.

You want to take a break?

- I could use some water. - Yeah.

- Hope that thing's potty trained. - Probably not.

- Cats are jerks. - Let me guess, you're a dog person?

I like 'em dumb and loyal.

Speaking of, we should probably check on Gary.

Whatever you do,

don't...

Run.

Where did you get a Time Courier?

Would someone mind untying me?

That is stolen government property.

It's just that I have really bad circulation.

You're just mad because I saved your life again.

Captain Lance, I hate to interrupt,

but I thought you would like to know

that the anachronism has reached a level 9.

My team's on it.

And if they fail,

maybe Rip will finally give up on the ridiculous belief

that your team could actually defeat...

You know what, he's going to take your ship away, Ms. Lance.

Again.

Oh, no...

Son of a gun, it worked.

You really are quite marvelous!

No more...

No more...

Come on, one more.

Take care of that.

Gordie!

Hey!

Die, clown!

Sir Rory...

A little help here.

Balloon animals, Grey, really?

The applause might have gone to my head.

This is amazing!

Guys, Amaya looks like she's gonna kill him!

Wow.

Stop her, Jefferson.

Amaya, no! Amaya, no! No, no, no.

Hey, no, no. Hey.

You can fight whatever this is.

You're Amaya Jiwe.

You're a member of the Justice Society of America.

You're the most courageous person I know.

That totem makes you a protector, not a killer.

Amaya...

Come back to me.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- Nate? - I'm right here.

I'm right here. I got you.

And that's our grand finale, folks.

I told you it wasn't for the faint of heart!

We had it all.

We had action.

We have romance.

We had flaming things in the sky.

You wait until next week's show.

Well, Mr. Sneezums is now a more manageable size.

- Mister Sneezums? - Yeah, you like it?

The most important thing is

we put on one hell of a show and Grey now loves the circus.

- I don't believe you. - Oh, it's true.

He now thinks that without the circus,

the world has lost one of its last true places of wonder.

I mean, I don't believe that the anachronism has been dealt with.

Believe it, Agent Sharpe.

As I've already communicated to Director Bennett,

1870, Wisconsin is anachronism-free.

Ah. Even our A.I. doesn't like you.

Yup, my foot is definitely asleep.

- Gary... - And my leg.

Could be permanent.

- Oh. Who's this guy? - That's Gary. Can you give him a hand?

I need to speak with you in private.

Your sister, I presume.

And our friend, Oliver.

So...

I suppose congratulations are in order.

You get to keep your ship for now, but...

You will be watching us. Yes, yes.

I've heard this before. So why don't you cut the crap

and tell me what we're facing here?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You said that, "Rip will finally give up his ridiculous belief

"that your team could actually..."

And then you stopped yourself. So let's have it.

Who are we facing?

That information is need-to-know.

And all you need to know

is that you and your ridiculous team could never handle it.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Gary.

Hey.

Do you want to talk about what happened back there?

Not especially...

Look, it might help.

I'm glad you and I talked, about why you left me.

- It made me feel better. - It d id?

A little.

In that case, I think the whole team deserves to hear this.

It started a month ago.

Whenever I would tap into my powers, I could feel myself losing control,

as if the animal was in charge, not me.

One day, Belgian soldiers came to my village.

I told them Zambesi was under my protection.

And when they attacked... I killed them all.

It sounds like you didn't have a choice.

No, you don't understand.

These soldiers were just boys...

When they tried to run, I hunted them down,

one by one by one, and I ripped them to shreds.

That's the real reason you came back.

I needed a place to think.

This totem is my birthright and my sacred duty.

But something is terribly wrong.

What if I lose control over my village?

I'm sorry.

I wanted to tell you,

all of you. But I was too ashamed.

Well, we've all done things we're not proud of.

Except Haircut.

Well, no, actually...

I'm actually really bad at returning library books.

I can't go home.

Not yet. But I'm not sure that I can stay here either.

You saw me earlier. You could all be in danger.

You are one of us.

- Maybe now more than ever. - We'd be crazy to let you go.

Besides, we're really going to need your help now.

We got a new problem.

Rip has been hiding something from us.

There's a greater evil coming.

Something even the Time Bureau is afraid of.

What can be worse than an immortal Egyptian Demigod?

Or an evil speedster.

Oh, I'm afraid of the time boogeyman...

I'm literally crying.

Welcome back, Kuasa.

Who are you?

A follower of Mallus.

And we have work to do.