All language subtitles for There.is.A.House.Here.2017.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG2_English

(Slow Tempo Instrumental)

*

*

Lucie:
Awesome, okay.

So we go straight

and then at the stop
sign we turn right.

Alan:
So, it's like what,
3 o'clock?

And this is how dark it is?

I mean, it's not-

Lucie:
It's not as dark as
it's gonna get but-

Alan:
It's not as dark
as it's gonna get.

Lucie:
Yeah, that's right.

Alan:
Is it too dark to shoot

even in a car, John?

(Background Chatter)

Alan:
So why did you tell
me that the red colour

was the worst colour to get
of these coats, Tatanniq?

Because you look like
a fucking tourist.

Alan:
This is a bit weird, eh?

We talked on the
phone for five years,

I just landed in Iqaluit,

I met for the first time

and already we're
starting to film.

So, now tell me
about your uncle

before we get there.

Lucie:
He's an incredible man.

He was my grandfather's
eldest son.

All of a sudden
one day he gets...

Praise the Lord.

And uh-
Alan: He found Jesus?

Lucie:
Yeah, he found Jesus.

And he ended up
becoming a priest.

And then he ended up being
the very, very first Inuk

um Bishop of the Arctic.

Alan:
Why is he on the
two dollar bill?

Lucie:
There was a man by the
name of Doug Wilkinson

So he took the
picture at Aullativik

where my family's
originally from.

That photo would have
been I think taken

in 1953 or '54,

'cause my family got relocated
to Resolute Bay in '55.

Lucie: Merry Christmas!
-Yeah.

Um, we're just waiting
for Alan to come in,

and he wants to talk to you.

The filmmaker.

Yeah.
-Yeah.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Maybe you could explain first
what this movie is about,

so he can understand.

Alan:
Um, really?

I just got here.

I don't know what the
film is about myself.

Lucie:
I think it's important.

Alan:
You know, it's like,

after all the shit you
told me over the years,

I had to come see for myself.

Do you mind if I swear?

Paul:
Yeah (laughs).

Alan:
I know you're a bishop,
I don't wanna-

You don't mind?

Lucie:
I don't mind.

Alan:
Okay, so one time I was talking
to your niece on the phone,

and she said to me,

"It's a third world up
here motherfucker".

And I thought,

why is it a third world

in my country?

Why is there-

Why is part of my
country the third world?

So I'm assuming you didn't
grow up in a house.

You didn't have a house.

You didn't have TV?

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Lucie:
He's not feeling comfortable
to get interviewed.

Alan:
Oh.

Okay well, next time
I won't-I won't, um,

I won't swear again.

I wasn't comfortable doing
it but he said "go ahead".

Do you think he didn't
like the camera being on?

I-I don't know because it's
not his first time on film.

So I don't-

I don't know where
he was coming from.

Alan:
He didn't like me.

I think he's antisemitic
I think is what it was.

Fucking jerk.

Alan:
Okay, so now,

who are these people that
are gonna kick me out?

What's their names?

Lucie: Hi.
(Speaking Inuktitut)

I just brought a film crew,

do you mind being interviewed?

Natsiq:
Oh, yeah.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

So, Joshua's, my
husband's question is,

you suddenly showed up.

Alan:
Well that, right, okay.

Right? And now he
wants to know,

why are you here?

What do you want to learn?

What do you want to hear?

Alan:
This is not my only reason,

but I wanna know
what we can do for

to make life as happy
as your home seems to me.

I want to know what-what
we can do to make-

To make everybody's life here
as happy as your home seems.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Natsiq:
Um, you know what?

What you're asking for is-

Is very large as well.

Um, it seems that-

Lucie:
We're unhelpable.

We, there is uh-

(Sighs)

It seems there's nothing
you can do to help.

That's-let's put it that way.

There's really nothing
you can do to help.

What can you do to help?

Alan:
And is that because
we were the ones

who-who hurt you in
the first place?

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Natsiq:
Do you believe in Satan?

Do you believe in the Devil?

Alan:
Personally, no.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

If you don't then there is
no way you can help us.

Alan:
Okay, can you explain that?

Do you believe in the Devil
or do you believe in God?

Do you believe
in both of them?

That's his question.

Alan:
Okay, so I feel like I'm
supposed to say yes,

and then you'll
keep talking to me,

but personally I
don't believe in God

and I don't believe
that there's a man

under the ground and
a man in the sky.

I don't believe that.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Solemn Instrumental)

*

*

Alan:
Is uh, can I speak
to Tatanniq?

Isacky:
(Speaking Inuktitut)

Alan:
Okay, so Isacky,

is she hiding 'cause
she doesn't want to go

'cause she doesn't want
to be in the film?

Isacky:
No, no, no.

She-she's not here.

She's not here.

Alan:
Is she going to
come back soon

and make the
flight or is she-

Isacky:
I will make sure Alan

she will make the flight.

I will make sure she'll
make the flight. Okay?

Alan:
Is there anywhere you
would tell us to maybe go

to find her?

Isacky:
You know what?

It's better if you just

drive away and then go,
come back in 15,

10, 15 minutes
or something.

Maybe like it-it's
up to you.

Alan:
Okay.

(Barking)

Alan:
Can you put your shoes
on and let's get the

heck out of here.

Lucie:
I need to get dressed first.

Alan:
Okay, well, you
have 15 minutes

at the most for us
to leave, okay?

Lucie:
Okay. Isacky, can you get
my toiletries together

with my make-ups and what not

and put all of these
in my suitcase?

Isacky:
That's where
Isacky comes in.

Isacky, you're-you're-you're
the best kind of boyfriend,

you don't even have to-
- Ex-boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend.
-No I'm saying,

you do everything and you
don't have to put out.

Or do anything for-

Alan:
Yeah, you're like, uh-

For that matter.

Woman:
Except almost get
stabbed four nights ago.

Lucie:
Uh, well, and last night.

Yeah. The one that-that
almost stabbed me

came back last night.

Alan:
But you were-

She didn't actually
attack me but

she had, she pushed-

Woman:
She attacked Lucie.

Lucie.
Alan: Yeah.

The thing about living
in the Arctic is

you never deny somebody entry-

Alan: Really?
-Into your house.

Alan:
Even if they have a knife and
they're trying to kill you?

If you knew a woman
was standing there

wanting to come in
and beat you up.

Somebody is not coming at you
like this that you let in.

Alan:
But she did,

she was four nights before.

No.
- Isn't it the same woman?

She did it when she came in,

and the thing is,

you wanna make sure that

somebody is not getting
frozen to the ground outside.

Isacky:
We don't know what the
outcome is gonna be

but we let them in anyway.

(Soft Rock Instrumental)

*

*

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Alan:
Hi. We are here with
Tatanniq Idlout,

she's our friend,

and we met in Iqaluit

and she wanted us to
come to this town

where she spent a few years.

Thank you for welcoming
us to you town,

to Iglulik um,

whatever you share with
us would be welcomed.

Ah, Merry Christmas and,

uh, I doubt there's any
Jewish people out there but,

Happy Hanukkah to them.

(Laughing)

Man:
Okay, folks, goodbye.

Alan:
Goodbye.

(Cheering and Laughing)

Announcer:
Yay, all right.

Hello!

Merry Christmas!

Can I see?

(Cheerful Instrumental)

*

*

Alan:
I don't know when you
made your first record,

I don't know what
it was called.

Lucie:
Is that even interesting?

Alan:
If you're in the movie,

there's gotta be some context,

there are certain
things about your life

that I wanna know about.

Lucie:
All right,

I started off as a model

and then got into dance.

I made my first album,

I made my second album,

three soundtracks for film.

How many songs did I write
in between on top of that.

Alan:
Okay, so,

why did you give up
your rock n' roll career

and come back home?

Lucie:
I can't actually say
that I've given it up.

What I did was,

I knew I didn't
want to go on tour.

It was a very rock
n' roll lifestyle

when I lived in Toronto.

But it was not
fulfilling for me.

I had a very active
social life.

I had a beautiful apartment
that I loved very much

but there was always
something missing.

Alan:
We talked for five years.

In those five years

I would have certainly
said you were

an eccentric person.

But I didn't feel like
you were struggling

until I came here.

I don't know any
other way to put it,

it feels to me
like there's a lot of

drama in your life.

Is that just you,

or is that something about

the condition in Iqaluit for

the people that you're
in contact with?

(Sighs)

How do I answer that?

You know, um,

I don't have any kids
living at my house.

So, and I don't have a man

in my house.

And so-

people just come

because it's an easy
place for them to

do their misbehavings.

And my problem is
I allow them in.

Alan:
So I find that

you guys are all kind of
tough in your own way like-

Fucking right we are!

Alan:
I'm here in the land of
some of the gentlest,

most beautiful people
in the world

who are also at
the same time,

fucking hardcore.

Like, they know violence

in a way that I
don't know violence.

And-

I can show you some
violence if you'd like.

Alan:
No, but you, I mean, you
know I'm not gonna-

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Alan:
I'm not gonna go there
but like a few months ago

you told me that something
had happened to you

and then you said,

"And I went to that
guy the next day

and kicked the
shit out of him".

Like, it's just like,

but you said it to
me on the phone so

matter-of-factly this thing.

And that's-

an interesting thing that
you bring up because

even the worst
experiences up here

seem very matter-of-fact,

"I got raped".

"I got beat up".

"I was in the middle
of a stabbing match."

"I got hit by a car".

"The RCMP abused me".

Alan:
Are you saying,

"I got raped, no big deal.

That's what happens up here?"

I'm certainly not
saying no big deal,

I'm just saying

it happens and people up here

are much more honest about

what they're willing
to talk about.

Alan:
You didn't talk about it,

you just told me about it.

You made it seem like

"Oh, all in a days",

you know, that shit-

Shit happens.

Shit happens.

One thing that I think
we as Inuit have

is a common understanding

of those experiences

and through that understanding

we don't necessarily

instantly forgive somebody for

being a fucking prick.

But,

we get why.

(Forlorn Guitar Music)

(Background Chatter)

Alan:
So, were those your
grandchildren here?

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Samueli:
Yes.

Alan:
Are they gonna
learn how to hunt?

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Samueli:
The older ones, they
are hunting already.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Michelline:
He'll always be learning
from watching his father,

but this boy did something that

the grandfather has never done.

He caught his first polar bear

just last month at the
age of thirteen, all alone.

Alan:
Wow! That's amazing.

How did you do that,
can I ask you?

I shoot it.

Alan:
Huh?

I shoot it.
-You shot it?

How far away was it?

Maybe close.

Alan:
Wow.

Michelline:
So we start
hunting young.

Alan:
Okay, so-

Woo.

That's-that's
called tough love.

Um, Mark told me you've been
in a lot of documentaries.

The short ones were
very educational for me

because um,
when I was, um,

born to up to
six-six years old,

I was, we were living
out on the land

before my parents
moved to Iglulik

And then, at the age of seven

I had to go out to school

so, to me it was a time
to start really learning

about life but
they took me away.

Alan:
I see.

So I had to get it back

and that-that only way was

being in those short
movies with other women,

them telling me what to do.

Alan:
You learned the things
you might have learned

if you'd stayed on the land.
-Yes.

I had to.

There was a must inside me

that I had to relive.

(Guitar Strumming)

*

(Soft Rock Music)

*

*

(Scraping)

*

*

Alan:
So that is that an Inuit
mermaid fish person?

Bart:
Yeah, yeah.

And she's very famous and,

when I do it

I try to make it
very detailed

and very expensive.

Shaman and christianity,

you know I'm a
shaman and a person,

a registered person,

having a cross to the demon,

the demon or devil, you know.

Alan:
That the shaman and
Christianity fighting or?

Yeah, it's like an expression
like fighting, you know,

because they don't
mix together.

Alan:
Who's gonna win?

Um, I don't know.

I-I only know the shaman won.

Alan:
The shaman won.

Yeah.

Alan:
So you're not a Christian?

I'm-I'm-I'm raised
as a Catholic so.

But I don't go to
church too much anymore

because um,

residential school,

have you heard about that?

Alan: I've heard about that.
-Yeah, I've been there, so.

Bart:
Because I'm a residential
school person,

I'm a bad sleeper,

I have my own bedroom

because when I sleep,

someone seemed to
be touching me I-

You know, I would kick and,

I'm very dangerous.

That's called trauma I think.

Alan:
So, you were asking me if I
wanna talk to anybody else,

who were you thinking?

Bart:
Um, you could speak
to Peter Awa.

Peter Awa, he's an elder.

I don't know if he
speaks too much English,

but the wife speaks English.

(Dance Music)

Woman:
Do you say "Toronto News?"

Woman #2:
Yeah.

Peter:
You're American?

Alan:
Canadian.

Peter:
Oklahoma? (laughs)

Alan:
Toronto.

Toronto?

Alan:
We need your radio off.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

He's eating a
seal, seal meat.

Seal meat.

Alan:
Seal meat?
That's what, seal?

Yeah. Mhm.

Alan:
The skins that are
stretching outside?

Elizabeth:
Yeah.

Alan:
He caught those?

Elizabeth:
Yeah.

Alan:
And what are they gonna be?

Elizabeth:
Ah, I can make them for

kamiks, pouch,

or a jacket, or mitts,

whatever I-I can make.

Or a purse or

whatever I wanted to make.

Alan:
So, do your kids have the
traditional knowledge

that your husband taught them?

Yeah.
- So they can all go hunting?

Not really.

Only when we go
out in springtime

and summertime.

Alan:
When you go with him hunting,

is it fun?

Very much,

it's fun and
nice fresh air and

more energy.

Alan: More energy?
-Yeah.

Alan: You like it.
-Yeah, we love it.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Elizabeth:
He wanted to show you
something about (Inuktitut).

Alan:
Oh, that's nice!

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Alan:
Is that, uh, you
put oil in there?

Right now we use, um,
this kind of oil.

Alan: Right and you-
-Now, yeah.

Alan:
When you hunt you bring
that with you to warm-

Yeah, with seal-seal-seal fat.

Alan:
It's heat. It's light.

It's a stove.

It's lots of things.
- Yeah.

Elizabeth:
Now he want to show you this.

You know what that is?

Alan:
Well, that's a spear

but I don't know what
it's made out of.

That's made out of,
uh, this is harpoon.

Alan:
Harpoon?

Yeah.

Elizabeth:
A big, those bearded seal.

Those big, big seal.

Alan: Oh, seals.
-Yeah.

Alan:
The rope is made
out of seal skin.

Seal skin.

Alan:
That you-did you have to-

He-he's made it,

round and round and cut
it and then make it long.

Alan:
Right.

Elizabeth:
You have to hold it like this.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

They're waiting for
seals like this.

The rope doesn't
touch the ground,

just lift it.

Alan:
Right.

When they touch the ground
the seal will hear it.

Alan:
Will hear it, yeah.

So, they have to wait like
this for quite a while.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Elizabeth:
Not try to move around

and his feet
doesn't move either

for quite a while.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Alan:
So, and he needs the rope
because the seal will swim away

and you have to haul it back?

I see.

Sometimes I think yes my
grandparents told me stuff

but, eh.

I don't mind that I
don't remember it,

but then I come
here and I see this,

and it's like,

it's affecting me

to see you guys talk
about your culture

even though my culture,

that I grew up in

doesn't mean that
much to me, you know.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, maybe because you
are living in a city,

big city.
- Right.

Yeah, maybe that's why.

But we are living
in a small town.

We still remember
our way of life,

because uh we still use it.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Our grand, youngest grand.

Alan:
What's his name?

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Erin.
-Erin

We adopted him because, um,

his mother was passed
away around 2012 so,

he-he's mine now,

he's ours now.

We love him a lot.

Alan:
Eric is you English name,

what's your Inuit name?

Eric:
(Speaking Intuit)

After my mother's
grandmother's father,

I think he was one
of the great hunters.

Alan:
So, what do you think your
great-grandfather would think

about Inuit life now?

Eric:
I think he will say to me

"You ought to go more
hunting than stay home

"and play that stupid iPad.

"Cause you gotta provide your
family with country food".

I think he would tell
me to go be good

if you can build an igloo

so you can get a marry or

if you know, if
you gotta survive

when you're out on the land.

Alan:
Did you finish high school?

No. I finished
grade 9 and 10.

Alan:
So, up here, if you don't
finish high school,

does anybody care?

Yeah, the people care.

They-they want us
to finish school,

that's the only way
you can get a god job.

If you don't finish school
it's very hard to get a job

and if you have a
criminal record,

it's very hard to get a job.

So you have to be a
really nice person

in order to get a job.

But it's hard for
me to get a job

'cause I have a
criminal record too, so.

I got drunk,

broke my parents home

and I pointed a firearm

with no bullet to
a police officer.

Alan:
Wow.

Yeah, and I served
two years less a day.

I got so mad 'cause
my best friend died

and when I went
to his parents

they-they told me
he passed away

and I started drinking

that's when I got mad and

maybe I was so lost

'cause I never had a
friend like him before.

Ever since I've
changed a lot,

do stupid stuff,

started smoking, drinking,

I tried couple suicides.

I've done it, I've tried it.

Hanged myself but my
girlfriend saved me.

I personally, I've never
had kids of my own,

only adopted.

Right now I have a
adopted 22 year old

with I have three grandkids.

After 12 years I separated
and I met another woman.

Seven years ago now,

we adopted a boy,

I raised him for seven years

and just about almost
two months ago,

we've been split up so,

I have a rough
life right now.

Alan:
What happened with?

I heard something
happened with-

Eric:
Yeah, I didn't
wanna get mad but,

made me so mad that

just telling me
that I'm cheating

and that I go with
this woman and that,

and put me down so much

and she wouldn't sleep
with me for a year.

Alan:
So what happened?

Assault, I mean bodily harm,

I mean just grab, you know,

but little punch,

but that's not good
but that's what I,

I just grabbed her and-
(Sighs)

The counselling in
the mental health

I've been seeing

and the, um, ah,
Probation Officer,

that's, I've been
talking to those three

and the elders,

That's, if I get
those support and my-

that she charged me
will be acquitted.

I already apologized to
her and forgave her.

Now, past is past so
we just moved on.

But I get to see
my little boy.

Alan:
You get to see him,
what's his name?

Yeah. Eli.

Alan:
And Eli, what's Eli-

What does Eli wanna
do when he grows up?

I don't know.

I have no clue.

I don't care if
he becomes a cop.

One day I might be bad
and he can arrest me

and tell me,
"Look, look at you".

(Soft Guitar Strumming)

Alan:
So, Michelline,
usually I start slow,

work my way up.

But I don't wanna do that now.

If you're willing to talk about
your time in residential school,

since you brought it up

when we first interviewed you,

I just wanted it anything else
you wanna tell us about that,

if you're willing,

that's what I'm,

what I'd most like
to hear about.

Michelline:
When I was six my father
didn't want me to go

so I didn't go.

And, um, by the next summer,

I was excited to go.

But, um, once we got here,

we were living further up north,

out on the land

so, my father brought
us here by boat,

then he disappeared,

then I got mixed feelings.

I didn't want to
go at all anymore.

The next thing I know
is we're in a airplane.

There are no seats,

so we're all sitting
on the floor.

No seat belts.

There are about 20 to 30
of us inside that plane.

Then we go to Rankin.

We overnight in Rankin,

then a smaller plane

brings us back and
forth to Chesterfield.

We didn't have to speak
Inuktitut in our class,

if we did,

we would either go
into the corner

or be given a dunce hat,

or a baby nipple,

because we're babies,

we're dumb.

We're stupid for
speaking our language.

Even in the hostel,

we were not really allowed
to speak Inuktitut

maybe because the nun thought
we were talking about her

or whatever and so-

Alan:
You probably were.

I don't know.

Hey, I-I know the time,

I remember that time,

I even could
picture that time.

She farted and we were-

We were not allowed to laugh.

If we laughed it was scary.

So, with very straight faces,

we're all speaking
Inuktitut making fun of her.

No wonder she-

She didn't want us
to speak Inuktitut.

Alan:
Those nun farts are the worse.

Especially be-because
she was so scary.

But, by the age of 9

she abused me.

She sexually abused me.

I didn't know that it was abuse.

I didn't know.

I really didn't know.

So, in the-in the summer,

she told me not
to tell anybody.

If-if I did, she would do worse.

And then-

She came here
in May with us,

maybe to make sure that
I didn't say anything,

I don't know but,

she spent the summer with us.

My parents were never in Iglulik

when we were about to leave

for Chesterfield Inlet.

I think they couldn't handle it.

My uncle wanted to
take us three sisters,

his daughter,

in his own boat so,

we stopped by
my parents camp

and I'm yelling my head off
because I don't want to go.

So, um, I'm crying,
crying, crying.

I don't wanna go,
I don't wanna go.

And because my mother,

like I couldn't tell her.

If I told worse
was going to come.

So, I don't want to go.

My parents were not workers so

they hardly ever
have any money.

My mother gives me a
whole dollar bill.

I don't want it.

She puts it in a
little bag-purse

and still hands it to me.

There and then I thought,

she doesn't care about me.

Because here I'm crying,
I'm crying.

I don't wanna go,
I don't wanna go,

and she's still
trying to get me out.

So, by the age of nine,

my closeness to my mother
really blocked off.

Never ever opened again.

She died not knowing
why I didn't like her.

She died not knowing

why I was always so
against what she said.

She wasn't my boss.

She didn't care about me,

so I didn't care about her.

I am grateful that the
(Inuktitut) gave me this.

That I'm able to
express my emotions

to the public

whereas our parents were
never told to do that.

They would get a bad
name if they did.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Alan:
Well, as a Qallunaat,
let me say you're welcome.

Thank you.

(Solemn Instrumental)

*

I'm such an asshole
sometimes (laughs).

Alan:
I probably should have
asked you the first time

I came out here instead
of the second time but,

do you have any hints
for how to interview

or talk to the people
of your territory?

Lucie:
(Laughs)

Ah, good question!

Alan:
Well one time you said
to me on the phone,

this is, I'll never forget this,

"Inuit don't like to
answer questions".

Lucie:
It's true, well, no,

Inuit don't like to
be asked questions.

Alan:
Oh, they don't like
to be asked? Why?

Let me think about this one.

Okay, so one day

I called my mom
and I asked her

"Anaana, when you were young,

why were you not
allowed to call elders

by their first names?"

And she said, "I don't
know, I never asked"

And I said, "Why
didn't you ask?"

And she said to me,

"You ask too many questions".

So, it's the way
that we're raised.

We're raised not
to talk too much

and when you're young,

not to ask questions

and you learn what
you're meant to learn.

Alan:
If I'd come here a year ago

I would have got to
meet your mother.

Lucie:
True.

Alan:
But I didn't get to
meet your mother,

so tell me about your mother.

Lucie:
Wicked lady.

Tough as beans.

Fierce.

Feisty but kind,

loving, giving.

I got taken away from
foster (in Inuktitut)

'cause my mom was
a heavy drinker.

Her story is kind
of complicated,

but she was to be married
off at a very young age.

Prearranged wedding.

She ran away on the C.D. Howe,

which is a ship,

and by the time she came back,

my family gets relocated
to Resolute Bay.

And the hardships
that they experienced

while they were
there, you know,

they basically got
dumped on a beach

and they were told that they
were going to the land of plenty

so that there'd be,
you know, good income,

and by Inuit standards
in the Pond Inlet area,

my grandfather
was very wealthy,

he had tons of dogs to feed,

he had all the equipment
that he could ever wish for,

and he was an avid hunter,

and a man of some notoriety.

And then when he got dumped
on the beach in Resolute Bay,

he was a big fat nobody.

A lot of people died,

a lot of people suffered,

in the end my grandfather
ended up committing suicide

and so that experience was
my mother's experience.

(Birds Screeching)

Isacky:
I was 14 year old

when I was first
introduced to alcohol.

This is the
actual road that
we're going on

is where I was first
introduced to alcohol

by my sister.

Alan:
This is a dump.

Isacky:
Yep.

It's a place where nobody's
gonna bother you

and nobody's gonna find out

what you're doing.

I was drinking
heavily last week and

I managed to lose my job.

It's a cycle.

I've lost more than one
job 'cause of drinking.

Alan:
Isacky, you adopted a boy,

if you didn't drink,

could he be with you?

Isacky:
Yes!

He's always with me
when I'm not drinking

over at my place,

but it's when I do drink,

I bring him to my sister

so that he won't get
to smell the alcohol

or experience looking at me,

myself getting drunk, you know.

Alan:
So he is not enough
reason to quit drinking.

Isacky:
Oh, he is a reason to
quit drinking but it's

all different kind of
problems in my head

that do come back and
I relapse, you know.

(Screeching)

(Airplane Safety Instructions)
(Melancholy Music)

*

*

(Laughing)

Lucie:
You know, every time
I come back here

it feels like I never left.

Ruth:
Yeah.

Alan:
So, why do you
call her "mom"?

Lucie:
When my mom passed away,

I became orphaned,

so she adopted me.

Ruth:
I miss her a lot sometimes.

Lucie:
Yeah.

Ruth:
Those are my grandchildren.

The thing is they have
to make a makeshift bed

to sleep here and that
goes on every day.

I have sons here,

and a daught-and
daughters are with me.

But these two usually will
sleep on the same bed with me

while the rest are here.

Either that or

one of them stay
here with them.

And that's how we live.

Alan:
How many people?

1,2,3,4,5 adults,

twins and these three.

That's one of my daughters.

Alan:
So is it ten in a
two bedroom?

Three bedroom.
- Okay.

And it's tiny.

What happened was

my mother had passed away

and then I ended up with all
the kids that she had left,

and the grandchildren,
everybody.

I ended up with two other,

two others.
- Okay, so-

One she had adopted
from birth from me

and one she-she adopted
from one of my sisters.

They ended up being with me.

Alan:
So, does anybody
ever get confused?

'Cause I get confused.

(Laughing)

I think everyone
knows everyone

so they don't get confused.

Alan:
Right. I think that the,

that definitely one of the
things most surprising,

but I'm getting used to it,

how casual "so I got
one of my sisters,

my mother was
raising mine,

then I got this one".
-Yeah.

Alan:
"This kid I don't even know,

he walked in the
house one day,

I guess he's my kid now".

Yeah, that's always I think

it's always been going on
with Inuit families though.

(Soft Rock Music)

*

(Children Laughing)

*

*

Bart:
Hey, there young man.

Alan:
Hey, how are you,
young man?

Bart:
I'm not as good as
you but I'm trying.

Long time no see.

Alan:
Yeah, since Christmas.

Alan:
Bart, I always wanted
to thank you

for introducing
me to Peter here.

We heard that he was sick

and that you were in
Montreal helping him.

I'm glad to see Peter's better.

How was it down in Montreal?

At the Metro in Montreal,

there was some guy who
was kind of dying and um,

he was in need
to be helped but

we pretend that we
didn't see him.

And all the people with us,

many people that pretend
that didn't see them

and that was the most
disturbing um thing we um did.

As Inuit person,

we don't do that.

But, as our ancestors
saw you like the Gods,

and you were like
the Gods and,

the white man was
like the Gods.

But as we learned
from the Gods and

how the people down
there are dying and

they don't pretend to see

and we learned it's very
different from our culture.

And it's very sad

that you pretend
to be like Gods

but you're not.

I'm sorry to say
that but, you know.

Now we are more knowledgeable

and we are more reading
your books and who you are,

it makes more sense, okay?

Like you, because I'm not
have your camera to you,

you're having your
camera to me,

that makes a difference.

But I'm not criticizing you.

I think you are
precess, um,

you are doing a
lot better now,

because you are trying
to be more curious

about how we are.

Before, you just tell us
that we are savages or

it...it didn't make any
sense to us, you know?

But now you are much
better and you think more.

You're um more intelligent.

Elizabeth:
It's better you come and see,

learn a lot of things
to Inuit way of life.

Anybody who really wanted
to come, we invite them.

We really want them to come,

to learn a new things.

Oh, its happiness on the land.

We love it.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

There are three more missing.

Alan:
Is there any controversy over

whether your grandfather died
accidentally or on purpose?

Lucie:
That depends on
who you talk to.

There are people who say that
my grandfather drove his skidoo

over a cliff and
committed suicide

and then there were
other people who said

my grandfather did
not commit suicide.

I guess part of the reason why

people believed that
he did commit suicide

is because he knew the
land so intimately

that he would have known
there was a cliff there,

why would he drive
over it accidentally?

Alan:
You know, there
is a connection,

it's not a perfect connection
but a connection of some kind

between the story of your
grandfather and uncle

being relocated and,
to some degree,

you being relocated.

Lucie:
Well, you know, I don't
want to diminish the um,

the severity of what residential
school survivors experienced.

But there have been
times where I would say

my experience in a
foster home was akin

to what people might
have experienced

in residential school.

I wasn't-I wasn't
beaten or tortured.

If I was lucky I was allowed
to see my mom once a year.

Um, when I spoke to
her on the phone

I was not allowed
to speak Inuktitut.

Anything that had to
do with my culture,

they tried to get me
the hell away from it.

You will never be
accepted by Inuit

and you will never be
accepted by white people.

But you might as well
give up the eskimo side

because you're with us now.

I wasn't allowed
to have my hand

on my lap under the table

because it looked like I
was playing with myself

while I was eating.

That's the kind of
stuff that they did.

Alan:
Were there other foster kids?

Who plays with themselves
while they're eating?

Oh, Jesus Christ!

You know, this stuff
is coming back to me

as I'm talking to you and-

and I still wonder like
was that really my life?

Did I really experience that?

But yeah, I did.

(Laughing)

Alan:
You told me you never
wanted to have a baby.

Were you alienated
from people here

for you not wanting
to have a baby?

Lucie:
No. No, I wouldn't
say I was alienated.

I had Thomasie for the first
two years that I was here-

Alan:
But he's adopted.

I mean I'm not saying-

Lucie:
No, I know.

Nobody ever made me feel like
"what's wrong with her?"

But I think people wondered

"what's wrong with her?"

(Laughing)

Alan:
Is there any relationship
between the fact

that you lived alone
with your son here

and in Iqaluit you
don't see your son?

Lucie:
That's very much an
Isacky question.

Isacky uses my son as a pawn

and it's a power play for him,

that I refuse to play into.

So, where he tries to
use my son as a pawn

to suck me into the
whole Isacky world,

I refuse to play it

and so that's why I
haven't seen my son.

(Barking)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Alan:
So, I've been told that

you've seen all the changes
from being out on the land,

to the settlements, to this.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Ruth:
When they actually lived
out on the land it was, uh,

there was less
to worry about.

It was just the family
there together and uh,

and the hunting
was the only um,

thing they could
do at that time.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Ruth:
They actually settled
here in 1964,

here in Iglulik.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Ruth:
What his father
told him was

now that you'll be in a place
where there's more people,

you'll be seeing all
sorts of things going on.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

They'll be finding out
things that are happening,

things they've never
seen ah before

such as adults
fighting each other.

His father told him um,

make sure you don't get involved
in drinking and things like that

because they may be
happy for a while

and then afterwards
something might happen,

something bad might happen.

Lucie:
Can you ask him
what he remembers

about my grandfather?

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Ruth:
He had heard that he had

fallen off the
cliff or something

but he particularly
questioned about why,

how that could
happen to Iluk.

He had recollected
and remembered um,

his father telling him
that there'll be um,

bad things happening
to different people

and his father had said

that that was going
to start happening

in larger communities

and things will be
happy going very well

and the next minute
something might happen.

That was one of the things
that happened unfortunately,

Iluk falling off the cliff.

David:
(Speaking Inuktitut)

Ruth:
He had even
thought if-if um,

liquor or booze was
never brought up here

maybe that wouldn't
have happened.

(Slow Guitar Strumming)

Bingo Announcer:
(Speaking Inuktitut)

O64.

G60.

I25.

N40.

O62.

B4.

O69.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Loudspeaker:
Excuse me, door duty now staff,

please, door duty.

Grade 4, 5, 6, and 7

would you go out and
line up in your spot.

Celina:
Iglulik will be
speaking English

when all the elders are gone.

They'll be speaking
broken English.

Alan:
But they'll still be Inuit.

Celina:
Inuit but no more Inuktitut.

'Cause they don't know
their culture anymore.

Everything is in English.

Alan:
How many of the
teachers are Inuit?

Celina:
Quite a few but they're
all lower grades like

beginner, kindergarten,
grade one.

And all those teachers,

new teachers we see

are speaking broken
Inuktitut too.

So they're (speaking
Inuktitut) like um baby talk.

So they're talking like that so

they're passing it
on to the children

and the children are
speaking like them, so.

Alan:
We heard you on the
radio last night.

You were talking about housing.

I keep telling people
I read on the plane

that you need a billion dollars

to make enough houses

but you're not even
getting close to that.

That's my new campaign,

1 billion dollars for Nunavut.

Don't buy another
Bombardier jet.

Buy houses for Nunavut.

What were you talking
about housing?

I was trying to start a
petition and I plan to,

and the subject is on ah
there's government rental units

ah, that are only for
government employees.

They've been standing
vacant here ever since

those-those houses
were built which

I'm-I'm not sure, maybe a
little over ten years or so

or something.

I'm stuck with uh three
adults in one-one room,

my 40 year old daughter,

23 year old

and 16 year old all
in the same room

with three grandchildren
in-in there as well.

It's-it's really frustrating

to have no privacy all the time,

a hundred percent of the time.

'Cause we're, my husband
and I (stutters)

we're married but we also have
grandchildren in the other

in my room.

You know, I've never been alone
in the room with my husband

since we got married
17 years ago.

I'm 63.

Um, when I was
5 1/2 years old

I was sent to boarding school

and I spent almost 10 years
in the boarding school.

Alan:
When you say you went to a

boarding school
for 10 years

you mean a
residential school?

Residential.

Alan:
Where?

Chesterfield Inlet.

Alan:
Okay.

Is that a nightmare
that you still visit?

Celina:
That's old stuff.

It should be forgotten.

Alan: Right.
-Yeah.

We shouldn't maybe
mention it anymore

I don't like to hear
about it because

its a thing in the past.

Alan:
If 20 years from now

you're gone and people are
speaking broken Inuktitut

and broken English,

but they're going
out on the land

and they're still
eating caribou,

and they're still
eating country food,

would that be okay?

Mhm.

Yes, if in 20 years they could
improve everything here,

but as I see it right
now its gloom and doom.

If you understood it the
way I understand it,

you would pity what's going
to happen in 20 years.

You would pity the
present people

who are gonna live
in those 20 years.

Look at our price,

the-the cost of
living right now!

Look at how it's gonna
be down the road.

People drink a lot
of pop up here.

Alan: And it's five bucks!
-It's cheap.

It fills the stomach.

Alan:
Well, it's not that cheap.

We saw it for five dollars
a can at the store.

Yeah, but it's cheaper
than buying um,

ready made food.

It fills the stomach.

Alan:
Thanks for the optimism there.

Lucie:
(Laughing)

You find this to be um,

um like all negative
pretty much,

but you haven't seen
what I've seen.

I'm a gambler.

I go out at night and I gamble

and you should see the
house with about 70 people,

all crowded into this building

with alcohol by their side

and they're drinking from it.

9, 10, 11 years olds,

playing outside by the
hamlet and on the street,

2 o'clock in the morning

and that's not just one night,

it's almost every
night of the week,

whether it be winter or summer.

Alan:
And where are their parents?

I don't know.

(Solemn Music)

*

*

Alan:
We were here in December,

we made friends with
a couple people and

we joined, we got on a
Facebook group for Iglulik

and I was looking at it

and I saw that there
was a men's group.

I was surprised, it seemed

incongruous with
the culture that I

encountered when I was here.

So when the men's
group started,

how many men joined?

Less than the fingers
of my left hand.

The most people that ever
attended were two people.

You know I-I, um,

grew up ah English community

and um, and it was pretty
hard growing up as a youth,

and um, I always felt like I
have to talk with somebody

in order to get my
problems solved but

unfortunately there
was no one around

or if I tried to talk to
somebody they would ah

just walk away.

So I figured that I might
help out Junior here

to um run and administrate
the men's group

so that at least
um somebody um,

might come in because
even if one person comes,

it's gonna make-make
a lot of difference

for that person.

Junior:
Both my mother and father were

they did go to
residential school.

And as I was growing up,

all I remember is that
they were always drunk

and I thought the whole
world was like that,

everybody was drunk
all the time,

always happy

and then all of a
sudden, very sad.

Around 8 or 9 years old,

there was a priest,

a fake priest that
did come to Iglulik

and ah I was one
of those victims

that was molested by
that fake priest.

And for a very long time

I felt worthless and I've
gone through so much that

most of my teenage years up
right up until I was 30's

that I was sniffing
away gasoline,

glues, propane and
so on and so forth,

and eventually um I started
looking back at myself

when I was reaching
the 40th year

and I started receiving
counselling from

wherever I can get it.

Basically just talking away
helped me out to a point

where I became a counsellor
here in Iglulik.

So from this,

ever since I became the
counsellor here in Iglulik,

I've been trying to
tell people that

just even talking about it

helps you out a lot 'cause

a lot of the triggers
that we do feel,

they're everywhere

and even me,

the most horrible trigger was
the smell of ah rotting wood,

moldy rotting wood.

Alan:
Why does the smell of
moldy rotten wood,

why was it a trigger?

Ah it was the first time

when a penetration did
occur in during molestation

and my deep breath,

my first deep breath going "ah",

that was the smell and
ever since that time,

I just couldn't stand
the smell of it.

First ah half of my life

was nothing but violence for me.

It was a lot of
fighting and what not

so um I'm pretty
traumatized myself.

Junior:
He was my target,

he was the younger brother,

so like any good older brother

he did beat up his
younger brother.

Constantly, all the time,

whenever I have the chance,

he would be crying.

Yeah, he needed to
cry all the time,

and that's how we grew up.

Even in 1992 I killed him

for about maybe 4 seconds,
maybe longer.

He uh snagged my neck um,

yeah we were-we were drinking

and we had a wild fight.

We were flying and kicking.

Junior:
Kicking, punching and what not.

It was very-
- He was about to stab me

with a knife just in my heart.
-Yeah.

I wanted to kill him.

I did kill him.

Oh my goodness.

But, what I noticed ever since
we tried to kill each other,

me and my brother we never
argued or fought ever since.

Never had a problem.

I never have to swear at
him or be angry at him

for any reason.

Alan:
You just adopted one,

did you adopt one of
your own grandchildren?

No, it was my wife,

one of my wife's cousin's child.

It was October,

my little bro-one of my little
brothers committed suicide.

When we lived in
Iqaluit for 4 years,

he was being
molested by a person

where he would be brought
into a shack and molested

repeatedly for about 2 years

just before we came
back here to Iglulik.

He was very successful,

graduated high school,

went to college,

became Master Instructor
for Arctic College

and had a great family.

One week before he committed
suicide he did ah told my mother

that he was
molested as a child

when we were in Iqaluit,

and he told my mother
the name of that person

who molested him

and one week after
telling my mother,

he hung himself.

I know how it feels
growing up with that pain

throughout his life and

he just didn't know
how to reach out.

He sort of reached out but
I think it wasn't enough

so he ended up
killing himself.

Alan:
I know it doesn't matter,
but I have to ask,

was that person
white or Inuit?

He was an Inuk.

Alan:
He was Inuk.

For a while I thought I
wouldn't want to adopt a child

but when we were asked if
we could adopt a child

I just decided why not,

I'm going to name him
after my late brother

so we adopted a child

and we named him after
my little brother and-

Alan:
What's his name?

Frank.

Edward:
Frankie.

Frank.

Alan:
Is that Frankie?

Yes, that's my Francis.

(Bittersweet Instrumental)

*

*

Don't try and help me now

when you've been useless
this whole time.

I'll do it myself.

(Bittersweet Instrumental)

*

*

(Children Chatter)

*

*

Alan:
Lucie, it's nice to see
Thomasie here in Iglulik but

I never heard the story,

how he came back into the
picture after what's it been,

2 years?

He just started coming around.

He decided that he
wanted to come around.

Isacky:
Just out of the blue,
he just showed up.

Lucie:
I'm glad we were there
when he showed up.

Alan:
So what happened
when you asked him

if he wanted to
come here with us?

Lucie:
He didn't want to come.

He absolutely
didn't want to come.

It was terrible.

Um, in the end he
was willing to come

if Isacky came.

Alan:
You kind of didn't
want to come.

Well I kinda didn't
want to come,

but he wasn't
gonna come here

if I didn't come.

So, I said,
sure, why not.

Alan:
Is it okay if we put
a microphone on you

and ask you questions?

Yeah.
-You're willing to do that?

I'll answer everything
what I can answer.

Okay.

I don't know what I
wanna know yet but-

So let's uh mic her.

Marie:
You should have decided
before you came in.

(Laughing)

Alan:
Is there anything you
wanna complain about?

No.

Alan:
Nothing?

No.

Alan:
How about the lack of
housing in Iglulik?

You wanna complain about that?

Yes,

if I know how to complain.

I don't like complaining
but I could talk.

Alan:
Okay, so-

I could talk behalf
of the people

but not complaining.

Complaining could make
the thing get worse.

Lucie:
Hey, Alan, do you
mind if I sit in,

'cause I just wanna
hold her hand.

Alan:
Yeah, go ahead.

Hi, Lucie.

Hey, Marie.

When I finished the
residential school, he,

my oldest brother,

he teach me how Inuit people

look after other people

when they are sick,

when they are dying.

When somebody suicide,

I clean them,

wash them,

dress them.

If the family are crying,

Inuit people cry lots.

Lots.

Um, he taught me how to

not just cry with them,

how the feeling,

feeling to them.

Marie always takes
good care of me.

We go out hunting together,

we go out fishing together

She asks me to help her

take care of her
place and what not

and she's a spitfire

and that's why I wanted
you to speak to her

because she's real.

You know what?

I want you to ask her stuff
that's gonna make her angry

so she can tell
you real things.

Alan:
She's not a complainer,

I tried to get her to complain.

Lucie:
She doesn't complain but
she'll get mad at you.

No, I-
Alan: I don't have to-

I don't have anything in me
anymore to make her mad.

I am not going to get
angry at all, even-even-

Lucie:
Marie! How did you feel
when the co-op came here?

What co-op?

Lucie:
Co-op, when the co-op came
here and the co-op manager

(Speaking Inuktitut)

When they came here
how did you feel?

Happy.
Lucie: For what?

Because If we are only Inuit
trying to do all this stuff,

we can't!

We can't do it!
- Okay, so we can-

We need-we need the people
like this (speaking Inuktitut)

can help us to grow
our whole community.

Lucie:
Mom! What I want you to do

is tell them something very
serious that is true about us.

I'm telling the truth.

Lucie:
I know you're telling the truth
but I want you to say something

strong that is true about us.

I could talk quietly, strongly.

That's what I'm trying to do

but I'm not going to shout
the way you are shouting.

Lucie:
No, I don't want you to shout.

I get scared very,
very easily.

Lucie:
So what scares you?

Um, you sounds like
very angry person.

Lucie:
Okay.

Marie:
That makes me get scared.

Lucie:
I need to go for a cigarette

because I'm getting
a little bit upset,

but I wanna ask you
some real questions

about suicide.

Can we talk about that?

Would you be willing?

Yeah.

Marie:
Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Once upon a time,

we went from being so
very much survival.

You know like,

we need to have enough
food for the winter

or we need to take
care of our camp.

My grandfather was such a-

(Sighs)

He always made sure that

everybody was taken care
of for long period of time,

and everything was so much
about survival back then,

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Where we arrive today-

Why are we killing ourselves?

It went from being so
strong, survival, to now

get me out.

You know why we're
killing ourselves?

If I want to be drunk everyday,

everyday I will become
less care about myself.

And getting to become useless.

If somebody talks "younger
people are doing nothing,

it looks like everybody
is pointing at me".

And then we think that

"I'm good for nothing,

I don't do things".

But mom-

"I don't know how to-"

Do you think that we talk
to each other that way?

"I-I-I better kill myself".

We have to talk
to our children,

put our words upside down.

"You're good,

you could do it.

You know how to do it.

You know how to
help your father.

You know how-
-So is that the answer?

You know how to
do the hunting,

and they could start
becoming proud of themselves-

So is that the answer?

And there's no-there's
no thinking

of doing something
to-to themselves.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

That's right!
I agree with you.

Mmm hmm.

If I learn that my parents
who are not looking after me,

the way how they should be,

then my life would
be all broken.

That's kind of the
way I am, Marie,

because my mom
was an alcoholic,

she was a single mother.

I spent part of my
life down south,

part of my life up here,

and my mom was a
very strong woman

but she was broken so
I'm kind of broken.

(Indistinct Chattering)

(Indistinct Chattering)

(Engine Rumbling)

(Evocative Instrumental)

*

*

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

That's good.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Alan:
You look different.

So do you!

Alan:
No, you look beautiful
right now.

Aw, thank you.

Alan:
Yeah, really.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

I was really looking
forward to this.

It's good.

Alan:
Your eyes look clearer.

My mind feels clearer.

Thomasie:
Baby seals?

Lucie:
Yeah.

You really gotta
watch what he's doing

'cause if you catch one

you're gonna have to
do the same thing.

Alan:
Hey.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Thomasie.

Elder: Huh?
-Thomasie!

Elder:
Thomasie?

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Thomasie.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Canada!

Canada!

Alan:
Canada!

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Alan:
I wish I could
speak Inuktitut

so I could talk
to your husband.

Oh, okay.

Alan:
I mean, I never will,

I never will speak it,

I'll never learn it.
-You can learn.

Alan:
But when I see him I-

In a few weeks you
can learn Inuktitut.

Alan:
Okay, well, anyway he makes-

If you try.

Alan:
Your husband makes me wish
I could speak Inuktitut

so I could talk
directly to him.

Okay, do you want
him to come here?

Alan:
Oh no, no, no.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Alan: We'll see him out there.
-Okay.

Alan:
Anyway, I just wanna tell

you're the one who made
us feel welcome so

we'll see you out there.

You're welcome.

Bye!

(Melancholy Instrumental)

*

*

Alan:
Okay, so,

what do you think
Thomasie would say

if somebody like
his aunt asked him

what did you do
with us last week?

Isacky:
Well I'm pretty sure
he would be excited

and tell each and
every experience

that he just went
through in Iglulik,

like he'd be so excited

just telling the auntie uh,

that he's went
to his seal haul

and waited for a seal for
the first time in his life.

I love you son.

I'll see you later.

He would be so
excited to tell her

that he shot a gun
for the first time.

It's the beginning
of becoming

a big boy

and a man.

Alan:
You looked like a
different person out there

Isacky:
I felt like a different person.

It made me
realize that uh,

I'm missing out on
a lot of things

that has to do with camping
and just hunting itself,

you know.

I gotta regain that-

I gotta regain the power to

get myself back
into that life.

Alan:
I was gonna read
you a few things

you said to me
over the years.

(Alan Speaking Poor Inuktitut)

Alan:
What does that mean?

Those are little songs
that you should sing to your

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Alan: Oh, okay.
-When she can fall asleep,

To help her fall asleep.
-Okay.

(Singing "Frère Jacques"
in Inuktitut)

It's for your daughter
(in Inuktitut).

Alan:
But they don't mean um,

"are you sleeping,
are you sleeping,

brother John?"

Isacky:
Yeah! That's the same thing.

It's exactly the translation.

Isacky:
Yeah.

Alan:
Hm.

Lucie:
We'll have a nice
fire right here.

Alan: Right there?
- Yeah.

Alan:
Okay.

Lucie:
And we can talk about
whatever you want.

Alan:
Well you can talk about
whatever you want.

Lucie:
Well I've got some things
to talk to you about.

Alan:
Maybe you should tell
me before the fire,

'cause the fire
could take a while.

No, they're just gonna
shred up the cardboard

and put the woods on top

Also I'm gonna fall
off this thing

'cause it's not
really comfortable.

This damn thing has been
sitting in my pants for

the last two hours.

I thank you for bringing my
son on our trip to Iglulik.

It was pretty special,

having my son there,

watching him change

over the short time
that we were there.

He grew up a little bit.

You have a way of seeing things
that I don't understand,

but that's the world
outside of us.

We're insular.

We live in a third
world conditions.

We adapt and overcome

and we prevail.

Alan:
Okay, one sec.

Okay, so you can't turn
the camera around,

point it at them and
then be pissed at them

for being in your shot.

Sorry.

Can you guys get
out of the shot?

You guys are
fucking up my story

because I'm trying to
say a nice letter to Alan,

even without you guys.

I don't give a fuck whether this
makes it on the movie or not.

We're insular.

We live in third
world conditions.

We adapt and we overcome
and we prevail.

That's the way we are!

We're Inuit!

Alan:
You're a strong,

independent, Inuit woman.

There's no doubt about it!

I don't know how strong
or independent I am but-

Alan:
Okay, you said to
Marie the other night,

I'm broken.

You told the story about

going to foster care

and being like your version
of residential school.

But you never talk about

how this brokenness
manifests itself.

How does it-

What do you do?

What are you struggling with?

What is-

You fucking asshole!

I'm not struggling!

Yes, I'm broken!

Yes, I'm struggling!

Yes...

You know, there's all
these things that are,

you know, that could
be so much better.

But I need to-

And keep going.

Because if
I stop for
a second,

I'm gonna
stop forever.

When you stop
to feel your
feelings,

you're fucked.

You're done.

Alan:
So you're not
feeling your
feelings?

Oh, Christ!

You wanna sit down
for several hours?

Alan:
Do you know,

okay, so you have
a lot of stories

of horrible things
that happened to
your family.

I got a pile of
good stories too,

don't just put
it that way.

Alan:
I know, but do you-

do you know that that's
what drives your sadness

your trauma,

or-or is that a
mystery to you still?

A lot of bad things happened.

By Inuit standards, yes,

a lot of bad things happened.

It's like I
told the doctor
the other day

"Does it hurt?"
"I don't know".

Because I
don't know

the difference
between pain

and not pain anymore

so I don't know.

Alan:
How does drinking
help any of that?

That's what I wanna know.

It doesn't.

I don't drink to
make it feel better.

Alan:
Then why do you do it?

Why do I drink?

I'm not having this
conversation with you.

It's not on the table.

I won't talk about it.

You come here for little
windows of my life

and you seem to have some
perception of how I live

and I say you're wrong.

You put a focus on
drinking, that's your-

Alan:
I'm not focused on it.

That's-that's your movie.
That's not mine.

Alan:
No, you're focused on denying
it, I'm not focused on it.

No, I'm not focused
on denying it.

I'm focused on saying,

"You're an asshole who wants
to talk about drinking

and I don't wanna
talk about it".

Ask a question that
doesn't involve drinking.

Alan:
Okay.

What do you do

to stuff your feelings

from your trauma?

Fishing! I go fishing.

Alan:
Ah! That's good!

Do you go to the gym?

I go to the gym.

Alan:
You told me when you
were way younger

you did have
those feelings,

I don't know,

or you told me you tried
to kill yourself 8 times

or something.

But it sounded like um,

sort of youthful folly
rather than real truly-

Well, yeah, no.

Now it's got nothing to
do with suicide it's,

I look at the land over there

I see how incredible it is.

I know that there is no man,

no matter.

Anyone who could recreate that,

I just wanna go lie
on the side of it

and be a part of it.

So, yeah.

It's not like I wanna commit-

I don't wanna shoot
my head off or-

I don't wanna hang myself,

I don't wanna suffer.

I don't wanna make
anybody else suffer.

I just wanna go be a
part of the beauty.

(Bittersweet Instrumental)

*

*

(Chattering in Inuktitut)

*

(Chattering in Inuktitut)
(Bittersweet Instrumental)

*

*

Even though we're not so hungry,

we eat because we want
to be warm and happy.

We don't wanna get cold.

And we love fresh seal.

(Speaking Inuktitut)

Eskimos!

You know Eskimos?

Like that.

(Speaking Inuktitut)