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1
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:04,669
(Jack Jones' "The
Love Boat" playing)
2
00:00:11,221 --> 00:00:13,120
? Love ?
3
00:00:14,928 --> 00:00:17,962
? Exciting and new ?
4
00:00:18,937 --> 00:00:20,870
? Come aboard ?
5
00:00:22,844 --> 00:00:26,691
? We're expecting you ?
6
00:00:26,719 --> 00:00:29,120
? And love ?
7
00:00:30,928 --> 00:00:34,974
? Life's sweetest reward ?
8
00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:36,937
? Let it flow ?
9
00:00:38,945 --> 00:00:43,158
? It floats back to you ?
10
00:00:43,186 --> 00:00:46,565
? The Love Boat ?
11
00:00:46,593 --> 00:00:51,541
? Soon will be
making Another run ?
12
00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:54,816
? The Love Boat ?
13
00:00:54,844 --> 00:00:59,324
? Promises something
For everyone ?
14
00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:01,530
? Set a course for adventure ?
15
00:01:01,557 --> 00:01:05,794
? Your mind on a new romance ?
16
00:01:07,636 --> 00:01:11,083
? And love ?
17
00:01:11,111 --> 00:01:14,212
? Won't hurt anymore ?
18
00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:19,266
? It's an open smile ?
19
00:01:19,294 --> 00:01:23,607
? On a friendly shore ?
20
00:01:23,636 --> 00:01:28,083
? It's love ?
21
00:01:28,112 --> 00:01:33,782
? Welcome aboard It's love ?
22
00:01:38,417 --> 00:01:41,351
( upbeat theme playing)
23
00:01:43,107 --> 00:01:49,181
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
24
00:01:59,961 --> 00:02:01,639
There you are.
25
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,775
Ooh. And there you are.
26
00:02:03,802 --> 00:02:05,380
And as much as I'm loving this,
27
00:02:05,405 --> 00:02:07,049
I'm really gonna
have to check in.
28
00:02:07,075 --> 00:02:09,287
Oh, please, Miss Maxwell.
29
00:02:09,313 --> 00:02:11,891
I've seen every
one of your movies.
30
00:02:11,918 --> 00:02:15,120
Oh, how brave of you. I
ought to get your autograph.
31
00:02:16,495 --> 00:02:17,672
Miss Maxwell.
32
00:02:17,697 --> 00:02:20,976
Oh, Merrill. Oh. Welcome back.
33
00:02:21,004 --> 00:02:22,716
The Princess always sails better
34
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:23,885
when there's a queen onboard.
35
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,521
Now, I didn't know
your ship was equipped
36
00:02:25,547 --> 00:02:26,791
with a Blarney Stone.
37
00:02:26,816 --> 00:02:28,327
(laughing)
38
00:02:28,353 --> 00:02:30,298
Adam. Mona.
39
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,369
If your beauty gets
any more dazzling,
40
00:02:32,395 --> 00:02:34,339
I'm gonna have to
wear dark glasses.
41
00:02:34,365 --> 00:02:37,199
Mm. Now, no matter what you
say, I'm not gonna marry you.
42
00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:42,788
But meet me later, and
we'll talk about fooling around.
43
00:02:42,816 --> 00:02:45,296
Oh-ho. Oh, ho-ho.
44
00:02:45,538 --> 00:02:49,184
Ha-ha-ha. Oh, and here
are some more old friends.
45
00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:51,190
Oh, Isaac, my
favorite bartender.
46
00:02:51,216 --> 00:02:52,394
Welcome back, Miss Maxwell.
47
00:02:52,419 --> 00:02:53,696
Thank you. And Julie.
48
00:02:53,721 --> 00:02:54,898
Hi. Welcome back. Hi.
49
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:55,951
I see we have booked
50
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:59,206
an entire boatload
of your admirers.
51
00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:02,145
Oh, dear. They keep
showing those old musicals
52
00:03:02,172 --> 00:03:03,649
of mine on the late show.
53
00:03:03,675 --> 00:03:04,786
I must be responsible
54
00:03:04,811 --> 00:03:06,806
for the sale of a
million Slice-A-Matics.
55
00:03:06,832 --> 00:03:07,809
(chuckles)
56
00:03:07,834 --> 00:03:09,945
Excuse me. Wasn't that, uh...?
57
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,417
Mona Maxwell. She
sails with us every year.
58
00:03:12,443 --> 00:03:14,955
Really? It's her
really, in the flesh?
59
00:03:14,982 --> 00:03:17,327
You're a fan? Oh, ho, ho, ho.
60
00:03:17,354 --> 00:03:19,298
I mean, that was a star. Yeah.
61
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,836
Not like these kids
they have today.
62
00:03:20,861 --> 00:03:21,838
(laughs)
63
00:03:21,863 --> 00:03:23,106
Come on, I'll introduce you.
64
00:03:23,132 --> 00:03:24,910
Oh, no. She wouldn't
wanna meet me.
65
00:03:24,936 --> 00:03:26,947
Yeah, she would.
She's regular people.
66
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,701
I don't wanna be
any trouble. Come on.
67
00:03:28,727 --> 00:03:30,154
(laughing)
68
00:03:30,179 --> 00:03:31,790
Here's someone
who'd like to meet you.
69
00:03:31,816 --> 00:03:34,112
Here she is, in
the flesh. Hello.
70
00:03:34,138 --> 00:03:37,055
Heh. I can't believe
it's your flesh. Heh.
71
00:03:38,848 --> 00:03:41,008
I-I mean, I can't
believe you're alive.
72
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:46,323
I mean... I mean, I think I'll go
to my cabin and fix my mouth.
73
00:03:48,852 --> 00:03:51,964
Hmm. I'm flattered. I think.
74
00:03:51,991 --> 00:03:53,357
(all laughing)
75
00:03:54,697 --> 00:03:56,908
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
76
00:03:56,934 --> 00:04:00,448
The brochure said
"fabulous," but this is fabulous.
77
00:04:00,476 --> 00:04:01,786
Look at the way it's decorated.
78
00:04:01,812 --> 00:04:03,423
You could learn
something about fixing up
79
00:04:03,448 --> 00:04:04,692
your apartment from this place.
80
00:04:04,718 --> 00:04:05,928
Good taste.
81
00:04:05,953 --> 00:04:07,565
I already have good taste.
82
00:04:07,591 --> 00:04:08,901
I suppose I have bad taste?
83
00:04:08,926 --> 00:04:11,922
No, no. You have no taste.
84
00:04:11,949 --> 00:04:13,509
Hello. Good morning.
85
00:04:13,535 --> 00:04:14,864
Welcome back. Hi. Welcome back.
86
00:04:14,889 --> 00:04:16,933
Oh, I'm in love.
87
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,960
Where, where? Over there.
88
00:04:20,567 --> 00:04:22,344
Hey, I don't think
he's your type.
89
00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:25,016
She's gorgeous, and
she's crazy about me.
90
00:04:25,043 --> 00:04:26,319
She hasn't even seen you yet.
91
00:04:26,345 --> 00:04:28,626
Hey, some things are
chemical, man. Watch this.
92
00:04:32,224 --> 00:04:35,270
Hi, doll. What's your sign?
93
00:04:35,297 --> 00:04:37,275
Julie McCoy, cruise director.
94
00:04:37,301 --> 00:04:39,446
Pay no attention
to this buffoon.
95
00:04:39,472 --> 00:04:41,466
You and I can make
beautiful music together.
96
00:04:41,493 --> 00:04:44,640
What? And put your
monkey out of work?
97
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:46,578
Love a girl with
a sense of humor.
98
00:04:46,604 --> 00:04:48,282
Yeah, love a guy
with an original line.
99
00:04:48,308 --> 00:04:50,686
Pardon me, gentlemen. May
I have your names, please?
100
00:04:50,712 --> 00:04:53,091
Alex Lambert, at
your service, miss.
101
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:55,012
Wally Fountaine.
102
00:04:55,038 --> 00:04:57,817
Oh, yes, you're on the
Fiesta Deck. Cabin 264.
103
00:04:57,844 --> 00:04:59,021
Happy cruising.
104
00:04:59,046 --> 00:05:00,874
I'll see you later,
just as soon as
105
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,944
I get rid of the excess baggage.
106
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,587
My cabin, as soon
as I dump my father.
107
00:05:06,997 --> 00:05:08,562
Bye.
108
00:05:11,271 --> 00:05:12,966
I don't know why,
but I get the feeling
109
00:05:12,992 --> 00:05:14,502
that deep down inside,
110
00:05:14,528 --> 00:05:17,407
those two crazy guys are
some really nice people.
111
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:19,746
That's what I like
about you, McCoy.
112
00:05:19,772 --> 00:05:22,239
You're such a sap.
113
00:05:23,563 --> 00:05:25,874
Hey. Nice boat.
114
00:05:25,901 --> 00:05:28,764
Real, real nice boat. Heh-heh.
115
00:05:28,791 --> 00:05:29,935
Tell me, Dottie.
116
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,537
How does this compare
to the Mayflower?
117
00:05:31,563 --> 00:05:32,908
Oh, stop it, Ralph.
118
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:36,879
Try to act respectable. At
least for our anniversary.
119
00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:38,201
GOPHER: Hello.
120
00:05:38,227 --> 00:05:40,539
I'm Yeoman Purser Smith.
I'm here to check you in.
121
00:05:40,565 --> 00:05:43,277
We're the Warrens, and
I'm here to check her out.
122
00:05:43,304 --> 00:05:47,083
Excuse my husband,
Mr. Smith. He's a little crazy.
123
00:05:47,111 --> 00:05:50,391
Who said "little?" Ha-ha-ha.
124
00:05:50,419 --> 00:05:52,314
Hey, what took
you so long, shorty?
125
00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:54,084
Well, I had to catch
up with the bags.
126
00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:56,138
What'd you guys do? Pack
for a trip around the world?
127
00:05:56,164 --> 00:05:59,593
You know I never do
things in a small way.
128
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:00,981
Who said "small"?
129
00:06:01,007 --> 00:06:02,418
(laughter)
130
00:06:02,443 --> 00:06:03,954
This is our son, Doug.
131
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:05,858
Oh, hi.
132
00:06:05,884 --> 00:06:07,294
Uh, well, let's see.
133
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,765
Warren, you've
got adjoining cabins
134
00:06:08,790 --> 00:06:12,636
on Fiesta Deck, 287, 289.
135
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,325
Son, I can't thank you enough.
136
00:06:14,351 --> 00:06:17,647
What a wonderful way to
spend our silver anniversary.
137
00:06:17,674 --> 00:06:20,257
It's something I've wanted
to do for a long time.
138
00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:25,363
Hey, hey, enough of this
gab. I'm ready for a short beer.
139
00:06:25,391 --> 00:06:27,769
Who said "short"? Ah-ha.
140
00:06:27,795 --> 00:06:29,506
I'm gonna take the
bags, check out the cabin.
141
00:06:29,532 --> 00:06:30,810
I'll catch you guys later, okay?
142
00:06:30,835 --> 00:06:33,146
Oh, great. Okay,
but don't be long.
143
00:06:33,173 --> 00:06:35,218
Don't say it.
144
00:06:35,244 --> 00:06:36,905
(all laugh)
145
00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,642
Come on, honey.
Take care of the bag.
146
00:06:38,668 --> 00:06:39,948
Catch you later.
147
00:06:40,973 --> 00:06:42,150
Your parents are a kick.
148
00:06:42,175 --> 00:06:43,953
Yeah, they are the
greatest. WOMAN: Hi.
149
00:06:43,979 --> 00:06:47,208
Hello. You're, um...
Oh, I know you.
150
00:06:47,236 --> 00:06:49,681
Uh, the elevator at
the Spelling building.
151
00:06:49,707 --> 00:06:52,135
Right, you get off at the
16th floor, I get off at the 25th.
152
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,557
Hi, Doug Warren, stockbroker.
153
00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:55,727
Beth Donaldson. Advertising.
154
00:06:55,753 --> 00:06:57,080
Gopher Smith. Shipping.
155
00:06:57,105 --> 00:06:59,017
Isn't it amazing? After
a year of just nodding
156
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:02,055
to each other on the elevator,
we finally get a chance to meet.
157
00:07:02,083 --> 00:07:03,293
Yeah.
158
00:07:03,318 --> 00:07:05,130
Yeah. Um...
159
00:07:05,156 --> 00:07:07,400
I'm gonna take the bags,
but I'll see you later, yeah?
160
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:08,738
Oh, you bet you will.
161
00:07:08,764 --> 00:07:11,575
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
162
00:07:11,602 --> 00:07:14,403
I'm glad to see
you. Yeah, me too.
163
00:07:16,713 --> 00:07:18,323
Super, isn't he?
164
00:07:18,349 --> 00:07:20,762
Well, he's no Burl Smith.
165
00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:23,199
Who? Burl Smith. Big...
166
00:07:23,226 --> 00:07:26,127
Uh. You don't know him.
167
00:07:27,869 --> 00:07:30,298
(boat horn blows)
168
00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:31,867
( upbeat theme playing)
169
00:07:31,893 --> 00:07:33,343
(people chattering excitedly)
170
00:07:44,369 --> 00:07:46,547
You've gotta be kidding.
171
00:07:46,574 --> 00:07:49,253
What schnook would
wear a shirt like that?
172
00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:52,859
You. I borrowed this
from you last year.
173
00:07:52,887 --> 00:07:54,887
On me it looked good. Huh.
174
00:07:57,530 --> 00:08:00,108
A hair dryer?
175
00:08:00,135 --> 00:08:01,312
You've gotta be careful.
176
00:08:01,337 --> 00:08:03,348
You could blow your
toupee over the side.
177
00:08:03,374 --> 00:08:07,922
This happens to be the exact
same kind Joe Namath uses.
178
00:08:07,951 --> 00:08:09,562
Joe wears a rug?
179
00:08:09,588 --> 00:08:12,366
Get lost, will you, please?
180
00:08:12,393 --> 00:08:13,370
All right, okay, okay.
181
00:08:13,395 --> 00:08:15,340
I got a very important
decision here.
182
00:08:15,366 --> 00:08:16,710
Which threads will Julie prefer
183
00:08:16,736 --> 00:08:18,581
when I sweep her off
her feet at dinner tonight?
184
00:08:18,607 --> 00:08:21,586
You couldn't sweep her off
her feet if you were a broom.
185
00:08:21,613 --> 00:08:23,457
Oh, no?
186
00:08:23,483 --> 00:08:26,479
Well, watch me and
learn from a master.
187
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,919
A thousand bucks says
I'm the one she falls for first.
188
00:08:29,947 --> 00:08:31,257
A thousand bucks?
189
00:08:31,282 --> 00:08:33,228
Wally, you can't afford
to lose that kind of money.
190
00:08:33,254 --> 00:08:35,999
I'll make it easy for
you. Let's make it 500.
191
00:08:36,026 --> 00:08:37,303
Hey, I'm your buddy.
192
00:08:37,328 --> 00:08:39,473
I can't take 500 from
you you don't have.
193
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:42,496
I'll settle for...$12.
194
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:45,835
I'll tell you what. Let's
keep things in your league.
195
00:08:45,862 --> 00:08:46,862
Make it a pizza.
196
00:08:48,051 --> 00:08:49,562
With anchovies? You're on.
197
00:08:49,587 --> 00:08:50,813
All right.
198
00:08:50,839 --> 00:08:54,842
( sedate theme playing)
199
00:09:03,065 --> 00:09:04,242
Mm. For you, sir?
200
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:05,712
Uh, screwdriver, please.
201
00:09:05,737 --> 00:09:07,414
Screwdriver.
202
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,735
Don't I know you from somewhere?
203
00:09:09,762 --> 00:09:12,190
That's it. Screwdriver.
204
00:09:12,216 --> 00:09:14,194
In your hand, under my car.
205
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,815
I used to be a mechanic.
206
00:09:15,841 --> 00:09:18,569
And I used to have an old
heap with a chronic oil condition.
207
00:09:18,596 --> 00:09:21,041
I got a chain of ten
auto-repair shops now.
208
00:09:21,068 --> 00:09:23,285
I got a newer heap with
a chronic oil condition.
209
00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:26,471
Oh, hi, Miss Maxwell.
210
00:09:26,496 --> 00:09:29,775
Isaac, one of your notorious
pi�a coladas, please.
211
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:30,896
Oh. I'll bring it right over.
212
00:09:30,921 --> 00:09:32,967
Great.
213
00:09:32,993 --> 00:09:36,139
Oh. Hi.
214
00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:37,666
Hi.
215
00:09:40,943 --> 00:09:42,738
I see you two are
finally speaking.
216
00:09:42,764 --> 00:09:45,209
Ah, yes, he sent
me a dozen roses,
217
00:09:45,235 --> 00:09:46,913
and I just couldn't stay mad.
218
00:09:46,939 --> 00:09:50,418
I'm talking about you
and Mona Maxwell.
219
00:09:50,446 --> 00:09:52,590
I don't know what came
over me in the lobby there.
220
00:09:52,616 --> 00:09:55,695
I mean, I didn't have
anything to say. I mean...
221
00:09:55,722 --> 00:10:00,437
she's been my idol for years,
and I'm just an ordinary schmo.
222
00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:03,312
Oh, look, she made
a couple of movies.
223
00:10:03,339 --> 00:10:05,817
But I'll bet if you asked
her to dinner tonight,
224
00:10:05,844 --> 00:10:07,055
she'd probably say yes.
225
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,024
Oh. Ha! Yeah. Yeah.
226
00:10:09,051 --> 00:10:11,629
Ah. Would you like to
have dinner with her?
227
00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:13,867
Hm. Yeah, but I'm
sure she's busy.
228
00:10:13,894 --> 00:10:16,244
Oh. I'll go find out. No, Isaac.
229
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,461
Oh. Thank you.
230
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:21,833
Miss Maxwell, my friend
Mr. D'Angelo would like to know
231
00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:24,380
if he could have the pleasure
of dining with you tonight.
232
00:10:29,092 --> 00:10:31,592
Tell Mr. D'Angelo
that I'd be delighted.
233
00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:38,451
Hey, how do you like
that? There's my girl.
234
00:10:38,478 --> 00:10:39,722
Your girl?
235
00:10:39,747 --> 00:10:41,458
By tonight, you'll be
eating your heart out,
236
00:10:41,484 --> 00:10:42,661
and I'll be eating the pizza.
237
00:10:42,686 --> 00:10:43,797
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
238
00:10:43,822 --> 00:10:45,700
Hi, gorgeous.
Hello, Mr. Lambert.
239
00:10:45,726 --> 00:10:47,437
Oh, Alex, please. Alex.
240
00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:49,841
Oh, nothing like the
good sea air, is there?
241
00:10:49,868 --> 00:10:51,479
It's even better
when you breathe it.
242
00:10:51,504 --> 00:10:53,883
Hey, not so hard. Poor guy.
243
00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:56,654
Now, what time shall I pick
you up for dinner and dancing?
244
00:10:56,681 --> 00:10:58,560
Oh, well, I...
Don't answer that.
245
00:10:58,586 --> 00:11:00,264
Julie, I'm about to rescue you
246
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:03,302
from the most boring
evening of your entire life.
247
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,974
I'll be at your cabin at
8. Well, no, I really can't...
248
00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:07,979
Don't you say a word
unless it's yes to me.
249
00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:09,683
But come on... You're
making a big mistake.
250
00:11:09,709 --> 00:11:11,187
No, I'm not. No. Ah-ah-ah-ah.
251
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,623
You guys are crazy. Why don't
we all have dinner together?
252
00:11:13,650 --> 00:11:15,595
No, no, no. Lousy
idea. Will you butt out?
253
00:11:15,621 --> 00:11:16,698
You don't know how to dance.
254
00:11:16,723 --> 00:11:18,768
Hey, boys. Boys. How about this?
255
00:11:18,794 --> 00:11:21,489
I'll have dinner with Alex
and go dancing with Wally.
256
00:11:21,516 --> 00:11:22,777
No good. No way. Uh-uh.
257
00:11:22,803 --> 00:11:24,914
All right, then, I'll
have dinner with Wally
258
00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:26,317
and go dancing with Alex.
259
00:11:26,342 --> 00:11:28,003
That's fair enough.
260
00:11:28,029 --> 00:11:30,641
Once you're with me,
you'll never wanna leave.
261
00:11:30,668 --> 00:11:34,048
Well... Until
tonight, my beauty.
262
00:11:34,076 --> 00:11:35,820
Is he kidding?
263
00:11:35,845 --> 00:11:37,890
When you get a load of
this guy's table manners,
264
00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:40,428
you won't last
past the appetizer.
265
00:11:40,454 --> 00:11:44,456
I'll see you on the dance floor.
266
00:11:48,405 --> 00:11:49,648
It's love.
267
00:11:49,673 --> 00:11:52,019
Hm. How do you like
that? She loves me.
268
00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:53,357
You? Yeah, me.
269
00:11:53,382 --> 00:11:54,859
Look in the mirror
sometime, will you?
270
00:11:54,885 --> 00:11:56,396
Look in her eyes.
271
00:11:56,421 --> 00:11:57,586
(speaking indistinctly)
272
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,241
Mamma mia.
273
00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:12,345
I'd like to be around
when she reaches puberty.
274
00:12:12,371 --> 00:12:14,599
Just cool it, Ralph.
She's not your type.
275
00:12:14,626 --> 00:12:16,470
She is if you give me a boost.
276
00:12:16,496 --> 00:12:17,736
Who said that?
277
00:12:18,934 --> 00:12:21,230
How did you put up
with him for 25 years?
278
00:12:21,257 --> 00:12:23,735
What could I do? It was
either him or Mickey Rooney.
279
00:12:23,761 --> 00:12:24,954
Mickey Rooney.
280
00:12:24,979 --> 00:12:26,958
Hey, Doug.
281
00:12:26,985 --> 00:12:28,729
The ship's crawling
with pulchritude.
282
00:12:28,754 --> 00:12:31,114
What are you hanging around us?
283
00:12:32,763 --> 00:12:35,658
Because I want to. I
mean, this is for you.
284
00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:38,314
But that doesn't mean
you can't have a good time.
285
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,419
I think we're inhibiting him.
286
00:12:40,445 --> 00:12:42,790
In that case, how about
a game of shuffleboard?
287
00:12:42,816 --> 00:12:44,093
Great idea.
288
00:12:44,119 --> 00:12:46,298
And don't give me the
short end of the stick.
289
00:12:46,324 --> 00:12:47,668
Who said that?
290
00:12:47,694 --> 00:12:49,004
I didn't.
291
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,307
Um...
292
00:12:50,332 --> 00:12:52,076
if there's anything
you can't handle, kid,
293
00:12:52,102 --> 00:12:54,280
you know my cabin number.
294
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:57,837
Come on, Ralph. (humming)
295
00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,080
( sedate theme playing)
296
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:09,830
Step to the rear, please.
297
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:11,200
Let the man with
the coffee cart out
298
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,535
before his doughnuts go bad.
299
00:13:12,561 --> 00:13:14,639
Hi, hi, hi. Hi, hi.
300
00:13:14,665 --> 00:13:16,110
Whoa. If you wore that to work,
301
00:13:16,136 --> 00:13:17,646
nobody would ever
get off the elevator.
302
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:19,716
Can I buy you a drink?
303
00:13:19,742 --> 00:13:21,320
Oh, of course.
304
00:13:21,346 --> 00:13:22,823
Oh, but I think I
should warn you.
305
00:13:22,849 --> 00:13:24,360
I'm already
committed for dinner.
306
00:13:24,385 --> 00:13:25,729
Oh, yeah? Who's the lucky guy?
307
00:13:25,755 --> 00:13:27,666
You. Ha-ha.
308
00:13:27,692 --> 00:13:31,139
By the way, did I tell you
that I was aggressive?
309
00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:33,412
I'll tell you when
to stop. Okay.
310
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,549
Um... this cruise
311
00:13:35,575 --> 00:13:37,420
is a silver anniversary
present for my parents.
312
00:13:37,446 --> 00:13:38,889
You don't mind if
they join us, do you?
313
00:13:38,915 --> 00:13:40,493
Oh, no. I'd love to meet them.
314
00:13:40,518 --> 00:13:44,454
Look, any parents of yours
are prospective in-laws of mine.
315
00:13:46,898 --> 00:13:49,110
Anybody ever tell you
you were aggressive?
316
00:13:49,137 --> 00:13:51,637
Well, wait, do you
wanna take another look?
317
00:13:53,678 --> 00:13:55,845
( peaceful theme playing)
318
00:13:57,454 --> 00:14:00,566
That's a very beautiful dress
you have on, Miss Maxwell.
319
00:14:00,594 --> 00:14:01,771
Or may I call you...?
320
00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:04,029
(knock on door)
321
00:14:07,207 --> 00:14:10,186
Oh, Mr. D'Angelo. I'm so sorry,
322
00:14:10,213 --> 00:14:11,658
but Captain Stubing reminded me
323
00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:13,860
that I promised to have
dinner with him tonight.
324
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,567
He's entertaining some
bigwigs from the shipping line,
325
00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:19,372
and, well, I guess they
wanted to meet me.
326
00:14:19,399 --> 00:14:20,944
Can we make it another time?
327
00:14:20,969 --> 00:14:23,380
Oh, sure. We'll
make it another time.
328
00:14:23,407 --> 00:14:27,003
Thank you, and I'm
sorry for such short notice.
329
00:14:27,031 --> 00:14:29,315
Hey, look. Uh, I know how it is.
330
00:14:31,173 --> 00:14:32,850
( slow, dramatic theme playing)
331
00:14:32,876 --> 00:14:37,980
How it is, is... I'm a jerk.
332
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,087
( upbeat theme playing)
333
00:14:57,077 --> 00:15:00,657
She is a sensational girl.
334
00:15:00,684 --> 00:15:02,394
And I know you two
are gonna like her.
335
00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:03,998
You know, I-I think
she'd like you better
336
00:15:04,024 --> 00:15:05,201
in your other tux shirt.
337
00:15:05,226 --> 00:15:06,704
You know, the one
with all the ruffles.
338
00:15:06,730 --> 00:15:08,107
Nobody asked you.
339
00:15:08,132 --> 00:15:10,510
Doug, you look
great. Thanks, Mom.
340
00:15:10,537 --> 00:15:13,116
Oh, here, uh... bought
you a little present.
341
00:15:13,143 --> 00:15:15,271
Put some on. Heh.
342
00:15:15,297 --> 00:15:17,275
Cologne. Oh, thanks, Pop,
but I already used some.
343
00:15:17,301 --> 00:15:18,846
Well, put some more on.
344
00:15:18,872 --> 00:15:21,851
Can't do you any harm
to be a sweet smeller.
345
00:15:21,878 --> 00:15:24,978
Ah. Better get out of here
before he gives you a haircut.
346
00:15:26,437 --> 00:15:29,983
You know, we are gonna
be the best-looking foursome
347
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:31,188
in that dining room.
348
00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:32,440
Right.
349
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:35,267
But, uh, we'll be two twosomes.
350
00:15:36,340 --> 00:15:37,384
No, what do you mean?
351
00:15:37,409 --> 00:15:38,786
I already told Beth
you were coming.
352
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:40,423
Look, it's your first
date with the girl.
353
00:15:40,449 --> 00:15:42,895
You don't want us tagging along.
354
00:15:42,921 --> 00:15:44,982
Now... It's for your
own good, son.
355
00:15:45,008 --> 00:15:47,920
I mean, uh, she'd
see what a killer I am,
356
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,715
and then you'd be
out of the running.
357
00:15:54,862 --> 00:15:57,396
(disco playing)
358
00:16:00,239 --> 00:16:01,505
(inaudible dialogue)
359
00:16:12,766 --> 00:16:14,943
Hey, uh, Gopher. Hm?
360
00:16:14,969 --> 00:16:18,170
Listen, uh, you must
know Julie pretty well. Oh.
361
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:24,660
Well, um, did she ever
say what turns her on?
362
00:16:24,689 --> 00:16:25,722
Yeah.
363
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,974
Warren Beatty.
364
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,745
What kind of a tip is that?
365
00:16:31,771 --> 00:16:34,472
If you were Warren
Beatty, you'd be thrilled.
366
00:16:37,716 --> 00:16:39,728
Hello, Gopher.
367
00:16:39,754 --> 00:16:42,132
Wally, thank you for
dinner. I had a lovely time.
368
00:16:42,159 --> 00:16:43,537
My pleasure, Julie.
369
00:16:43,562 --> 00:16:45,306
I don't understand
one thing, however.
370
00:16:45,332 --> 00:16:48,578
How can you go from
champagne and caviar
371
00:16:48,606 --> 00:16:51,752
to... chopped liver?
372
00:16:51,779 --> 00:16:54,357
(chuckles)
373
00:16:54,384 --> 00:16:56,796
Well, Julie, the mercy
date is over for the evening.
374
00:16:56,822 --> 00:16:59,768
Prince Charming is here
to dance the night away.
375
00:16:59,796 --> 00:17:01,239
See you later, honey.
376
00:17:01,264 --> 00:17:03,276
I will leave a light
in my porthole.
377
00:17:03,302 --> 00:17:04,546
Oh.
378
00:17:04,572 --> 00:17:06,249
Your friend's a clown.
379
00:17:06,274 --> 00:17:08,920
Yeah, laughing on
the outside and, uh,
380
00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:10,224
weeping on the inside.
381
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:12,245
Poor guy. Oh, yeah? Why's that?
382
00:17:12,271 --> 00:17:14,583
Well, listen, uh, don't
tell him I told you this,
383
00:17:14,609 --> 00:17:16,453
but he's miserable.
384
00:17:16,479 --> 00:17:18,691
He wanted to bring his
fianc�e on this trip with him,
385
00:17:18,718 --> 00:17:21,563
but she had to stay
home and work, you know.
386
00:17:21,590 --> 00:17:24,870
They're saving every penny
they have for the honeymoon.
387
00:17:24,897 --> 00:17:26,241
And I gave him this trip
388
00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:28,696
as sort of a
pre-wedding present.
389
00:17:28,722 --> 00:17:31,033
Oh, you gave him this trip?
390
00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:33,138
Yeah, well, you know,
a single guy like me.
391
00:17:33,164 --> 00:17:35,242
Who have I got to spend
my money on, you know?
392
00:17:35,268 --> 00:17:38,931
Except my friends
and, uh, my girl.
393
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:40,637
If I had a girl.
394
00:17:40,663 --> 00:17:42,174
Isn't that strange?
395
00:17:42,199 --> 00:17:44,610
He told me that he
brought you on this cruise.
396
00:17:44,637 --> 00:17:47,583
Yeah. Well, like you
say, he's a crazy clown.
397
00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:50,106
Listen, uh, shall we
trip the light Travolta?
398
00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:51,899
Sure.
399
00:17:59,217 --> 00:18:01,428
Oh, I just love disco dancing.
400
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,100
Whoever invented it is a genius.
401
00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:05,446
Yeah, well, I know
who invented it.
402
00:18:06,265 --> 00:18:09,377
Same guys who invented
skateboards and hang gliders.
403
00:18:09,404 --> 00:18:10,437
(laughing)
404
00:18:11,644 --> 00:18:14,089
Orthopedic surgeons of America.
405
00:18:14,115 --> 00:18:15,726
They're cleaning up from this.
406
00:18:15,752 --> 00:18:18,430
Speaking of surgeons,
sir? May I cut in?
407
00:18:18,457 --> 00:18:20,135
Oh, you sure may.
408
00:18:20,161 --> 00:18:21,927
Thank you, Gopher. Thank you.
409
00:18:30,131 --> 00:18:33,343
I hear your dinner date
got cancelled. Sorry.
410
00:18:33,371 --> 00:18:36,684
Look, I'm sorry. I
embarrassed her, you know.
411
00:18:36,711 --> 00:18:38,956
Pushing myself on her like that.
412
00:18:38,983 --> 00:18:40,327
I mean, what does
she want with me,
413
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:42,869
when she's got the
cream of the ship?
414
00:18:45,413 --> 00:18:46,956
Gopher? The cream?
415
00:18:46,982 --> 00:18:48,448
Well, the sour cream maybe.
416
00:18:49,672 --> 00:18:51,650
Oh, he's putting
me on again, Dottie.
417
00:18:51,676 --> 00:18:53,853
No, it's really
the truth, captain.
418
00:18:53,879 --> 00:18:54,856
I mean, all these years
419
00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:56,743
I've been working
as a court clerk.
420
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,047
Oh, what court?
421
00:18:58,073 --> 00:18:59,483
Small claims.
422
00:18:59,508 --> 00:19:02,037
Oh, who said that? (laughing)
423
00:19:02,064 --> 00:19:03,758
Excuse me. Some
more ice, please.
424
00:19:03,784 --> 00:19:06,651
Oh, I... I didn't know they
allowed children at the bar.
425
00:19:07,959 --> 00:19:09,837
Oh, they're not
children. They're...
426
00:19:09,863 --> 00:19:12,374
They call themselves
"little people."
427
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:13,846
Come on, I want you to meet 'em.
428
00:19:13,872 --> 00:19:15,316
I know 'em pretty well. Uh...
429
00:19:15,341 --> 00:19:18,476
Maybe another time,
okay? C... Come on.
430
00:19:29,069 --> 00:19:31,281
Oh, I'm sorry I acted
like such an idiot
431
00:19:31,307 --> 00:19:34,620
about those little people.
Oh, you weren't an idiot.
432
00:19:34,648 --> 00:19:36,392
Anybody can get uptight
when they see someone
433
00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:38,562
different from themselves.
434
00:19:38,589 --> 00:19:39,600
It's easily overcome.
435
00:19:39,625 --> 00:19:41,669
All you need is a
chance to meet 'em.
436
00:19:41,695 --> 00:19:44,274
I... I guess I have
this deep-seated fear
437
00:19:44,301 --> 00:19:47,913
that maybe a child of
mine could turn out like that.
438
00:19:47,941 --> 00:19:51,955
Heh-heh. Uh... Beth, ahem,
439
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,060
those little people...
440
00:19:53,085 --> 00:19:56,119
Are in there, and
we're out here.
441
00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:00,697
( tender theme playing)
442
00:20:02,271 --> 00:20:04,983
We should try that in
an elevator sometime.
443
00:20:05,010 --> 00:20:07,411
There's a lot of
things we should try.
444
00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:10,517
Not in an elevator.
445
00:20:18,154 --> 00:20:20,416
(disco music playing)
446
00:20:20,442 --> 00:20:24,121
She is the most beautiful dancer
447
00:20:24,149 --> 00:20:25,527
in the world.
448
00:20:25,552 --> 00:20:27,752
Maybe not the whole world.
449
00:20:28,892 --> 00:20:30,470
Why don't you get out there.
450
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:31,496
Cut in.
451
00:20:32,533 --> 00:20:34,912
Nah. What are you...?
452
00:20:34,938 --> 00:20:36,515
Go ahead. Drop it, will you?
453
00:20:36,541 --> 00:20:38,901
Look, I'm not in her league.
454
00:20:40,283 --> 00:20:42,327
Hey, do you hear that song?
455
00:20:42,353 --> 00:20:48,402
She danced with Gene
Kelly to that song in...
456
00:20:48,433 --> 00:20:49,694
What was the name of that movie?
457
00:20:49,719 --> 00:20:50,946
Shall we dance?
458
00:20:50,971 --> 00:20:53,451
Gene Kelly wasn't in Shall We...
459
00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:58,075
Oh. It's you.
460
00:20:58,102 --> 00:21:00,447
Heh.
461
00:21:00,473 --> 00:21:02,193
Hi. Hi.
462
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:08,167
Uh, well, I'm, uh... I'm
asking you to dance.
463
00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:11,872
Uh.
464
00:21:11,898 --> 00:21:13,159
Are you sure?
465
00:21:13,184 --> 00:21:16,996
Well, of course I'm
sure, Mr. D'Angelo.
466
00:21:17,024 --> 00:21:19,336
May I call you Artie?
467
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:22,463
(slow jazzy tune playing)
468
00:21:37,266 --> 00:21:40,445
How about that? I just
produced my first movie:
469
00:21:40,473 --> 00:21:43,218
Artie Meets Mona.
470
00:21:43,245 --> 00:21:44,478
Take one.
471
00:21:56,723 --> 00:21:57,867
(sighs)
472
00:21:57,892 --> 00:21:59,169
It's a lovely evening, isn't it?
473
00:21:59,195 --> 00:22:01,907
Oh, it sure is.
474
00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:04,679
Well, so much for small talk.
475
00:22:04,705 --> 00:22:06,616
I came out here
for some fresh air.
476
00:22:06,643 --> 00:22:08,989
I'm crazy about you, Julie.
477
00:22:09,015 --> 00:22:11,110
Well, that's nice, Alex.
478
00:22:11,136 --> 00:22:13,547
But a girl likes to be romanced.
479
00:22:13,574 --> 00:22:15,319
ALEX: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
480
00:22:15,345 --> 00:22:18,156
Julie, you're the most
beautiful girl I've ever seen.
481
00:22:18,183 --> 00:22:19,461
Your eyes, Julie.
482
00:22:19,486 --> 00:22:22,999
Y... Your eyes are like
limpid pools of sapphires.
483
00:22:23,027 --> 00:22:24,872
Alex. I must have you.
484
00:22:24,898 --> 00:22:27,810
If... If I can't, I-I'll
throw myself overboard.
485
00:22:27,837 --> 00:22:29,820
Have a nice swim.
486
00:22:31,093 --> 00:22:32,837
I... I love you, Julie.
487
00:22:32,863 --> 00:22:35,425
I'm crazy about you. I need you.
488
00:22:35,452 --> 00:22:37,815
Well, Alex, there are
right and wrong ways
489
00:22:37,842 --> 00:22:39,536
to go about these things.
490
00:22:39,561 --> 00:22:42,072
Now, just follow me, okay?
491
00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:45,412
First, we close our eyes.
492
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,084
They're closed.
493
00:22:47,109 --> 00:22:49,493
Next, you pucker up.
494
00:22:51,602 --> 00:22:53,080
I'm puckered.
495
00:22:53,106 --> 00:22:54,449
Mm-hm.
496
00:22:54,474 --> 00:22:59,022
Now, count to five,
and when you reach five,
497
00:22:59,051 --> 00:23:02,764
put your arms around
me and kiss me.
498
00:23:02,792 --> 00:23:04,436
Okay.
499
00:23:04,462 --> 00:23:06,212
Ready?
500
00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:10,337
One. Two.
501
00:23:11,526 --> 00:23:13,071
Three.
502
00:23:13,097 --> 00:23:15,609
Four.
503
00:23:15,636 --> 00:23:17,235
Five.
504
00:23:20,111 --> 00:23:21,894
(chuckling)
505
00:23:23,502 --> 00:23:26,047
Six.
506
00:23:26,074 --> 00:23:27,256
Seven.
507
00:23:28,345 --> 00:23:29,594
Eight.
508
00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:33,930
(laughing)
509
00:23:33,956 --> 00:23:37,635
Oh, Artie. Oh, you're
such a wonderful dancer.
510
00:23:37,663 --> 00:23:39,041
I'm no Gene Kelly.
511
00:23:39,066 --> 00:23:41,411
No, you're not. But then,
he's no Artie D'Angelo.
512
00:23:41,438 --> 00:23:42,548
Heh.
513
00:23:42,573 --> 00:23:46,453
Oh. You know, you have
never told me what you do.
514
00:23:46,481 --> 00:23:48,159
Oh, what's to tell?
515
00:23:48,185 --> 00:23:50,897
You know, I own a
string of, uh, auto shops.
516
00:23:50,924 --> 00:23:52,702
Oh. It's called Tune-Up Town.
517
00:23:52,728 --> 00:23:53,939
I'm sort of the mayor.
518
00:23:53,964 --> 00:23:55,274
(both chuckle)
519
00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,746
And I play poker with the
boys once a week, you know,
520
00:23:57,772 --> 00:24:00,316
and I, uh... I go to
the Laker games.
521
00:24:00,343 --> 00:24:02,756
All of those. But that
wouldn't interest you.
522
00:24:02,783 --> 00:24:05,027
You know, if they had a couple
of forwards that could shoot,
523
00:24:05,053 --> 00:24:06,998
they'd win a lot more games.
524
00:24:07,024 --> 00:24:08,168
You're a fan?
525
00:24:08,193 --> 00:24:10,860
Heh-heh. You know it. (laughing)
526
00:24:12,836 --> 00:24:14,680
Heh.
527
00:24:14,706 --> 00:24:16,751
Oh, uh... Hey, look, uh...
528
00:24:16,777 --> 00:24:19,389
This is, uh... This
is where I, uh...
529
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:21,060
I mean, this is my room.
530
00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:23,431
So I don't wanna take up, uh
531
00:24:23,457 --> 00:24:24,467
any more of your time,
532
00:24:24,493 --> 00:24:25,737
so I'll just say good night.
533
00:24:25,762 --> 00:24:28,008
Artie, let's get
something straight.
534
00:24:28,034 --> 00:24:30,445
You are not taking up my time.
535
00:24:30,472 --> 00:24:32,851
I enjoy your company.
536
00:24:32,877 --> 00:24:35,956
Now, um, why don't you
invite me in for a nightcap?
537
00:24:35,984 --> 00:24:37,628
You're kidding?
538
00:24:37,653 --> 00:24:39,198
STUBING: Mona. Sure.
539
00:24:39,224 --> 00:24:40,467
I'm glad I caught you.
540
00:24:40,492 --> 00:24:42,137
We're going to my
cabin for a nightcap.
541
00:24:42,163 --> 00:24:44,730
Won't you join us?
Both of you. Come.
542
00:24:46,037 --> 00:24:47,781
That's, uh... That's
okay. Why don't
543
00:24:47,807 --> 00:24:49,219
you just go along
with your friends?
544
00:24:49,245 --> 00:24:51,256
Oh, no. Not unless you come too.
545
00:24:51,282 --> 00:24:53,660
Oh, yeah, sure. I'll... Promise.
546
00:24:53,686 --> 00:24:55,264
Yeah, yeah. I'll...
I'll meet you there.
547
00:24:55,290 --> 00:24:57,001
Well, all right,
but don't be long.
548
00:24:57,027 --> 00:24:58,071
Hm-hm.
549
00:24:58,096 --> 00:25:00,596
( melancholy theme playing)
550
00:25:06,930 --> 00:25:07,962
(sighs)
551
00:25:19,473 --> 00:25:21,807
( mellow theme playing)
552
00:25:42,186 --> 00:25:45,366
Oh. Julie, Julie, Julie.
553
00:25:45,393 --> 00:25:46,904
Julie, stop!
554
00:25:46,930 --> 00:25:48,641
Look! Ha-ha.
555
00:25:48,667 --> 00:25:52,079
I know you're crazy about
me, but I'm only human.
556
00:25:52,106 --> 00:25:53,551
Cut out the racket.
557
00:25:53,577 --> 00:25:56,355
What? Oh. Excuse me.
558
00:25:56,382 --> 00:25:58,766
I, uh... I guess I was
dreaming about last night.
559
00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:01,902
Okay. (sighs)
560
00:26:01,928 --> 00:26:03,255
What didn't happen?
561
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,524
Wally, Wally, Wally.
562
00:26:05,551 --> 00:26:06,595
There are some things
563
00:26:06,620 --> 00:26:08,632
that a gentleman
does not talk about.
564
00:26:08,658 --> 00:26:09,901
Let's just simply say
565
00:26:09,926 --> 00:26:11,471
I like my pizza with thick crust
566
00:26:11,497 --> 00:26:12,808
and extra cheese, okay?
567
00:26:12,833 --> 00:26:16,712
Meaning you got to first
base with Miss McCoy?
568
00:26:16,740 --> 00:26:20,120
I would call it more of
a grand slam home run.
569
00:26:20,148 --> 00:26:22,493
You would? Mm-hm.
570
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,164
I'd call it a strikeout.
571
00:26:24,189 --> 00:26:25,656
I saw you at the rail.
572
00:26:26,996 --> 00:26:30,742
I'm all puckered.
One, two, three.
573
00:26:30,770 --> 00:26:32,364
You are a peeping Tom.
574
00:26:32,390 --> 00:26:35,536
Oh, come on. There was
nothing worth peeping at.
575
00:26:35,563 --> 00:26:37,691
Why don't you
give up on my girl?
576
00:26:37,718 --> 00:26:40,197
I got another hot
number for you anyway.
577
00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:44,186
555-4496.
578
00:26:44,214 --> 00:26:46,893
Who's that? Pizza Pete.
579
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,000
He delivers.
580
00:26:50,010 --> 00:26:52,377
( sedate theme playing)
581
00:26:58,260 --> 00:26:59,270
Hello.
582
00:26:59,295 --> 00:27:01,106
Hi. Hi.
583
00:27:01,132 --> 00:27:03,543
Good morning. Good morning.
584
00:27:03,570 --> 00:27:06,183
Sorry I'm late for
breakfast, but I slept in.
585
00:27:06,210 --> 00:27:08,055
That's funny. We
went by your room
586
00:27:08,081 --> 00:27:10,392
to pick you up this morning,
and there was no answer.
587
00:27:10,418 --> 00:27:12,746
Don Juan strikes again? (laughs)
588
00:27:12,773 --> 00:27:15,552
DOTTIE: Leave him alone, Ralph.
589
00:27:15,579 --> 00:27:17,590
Do you like her?
590
00:27:17,616 --> 00:27:20,061
I'm nuts about her.
591
00:27:20,087 --> 00:27:21,298
There's some problems, but...
592
00:27:21,324 --> 00:27:22,651
Well, there's always problems.
593
00:27:22,676 --> 00:27:25,322
When I think of what your
mother and I went through.
594
00:27:25,349 --> 00:27:27,644
It took her months before
she bought me a ring.
595
00:27:27,671 --> 00:27:29,481
Oh.
596
00:27:29,506 --> 00:27:31,685
I can hardly wait to meet Beth.
597
00:27:31,712 --> 00:27:34,290
You did invite her to our
anniversary party tonight?
598
00:27:34,317 --> 00:27:35,612
Not yet, no.
599
00:27:35,637 --> 00:27:37,381
Why don't you invite
her to have lunch with us,
600
00:27:37,407 --> 00:27:39,602
and we'll invite
her to the party.
601
00:27:39,628 --> 00:27:41,372
Okay, um, but if
we don't show up,
602
00:27:41,398 --> 00:27:43,026
you guys go on ahead
without us, okay?
603
00:27:43,052 --> 00:27:44,936
Great. Okay?
604
00:27:46,341 --> 00:27:47,836
( melancholy theme playing)
605
00:27:47,862 --> 00:27:48,973
What's with him?
606
00:27:48,998 --> 00:27:50,342
Nothing.
607
00:27:50,368 --> 00:27:52,396
He's gotta leave the
nest sooner or later.
608
00:27:52,422 --> 00:27:55,673
Did it ever occur to you, uh,
he could be ashamed of us?
609
00:27:57,265 --> 00:28:00,944
I don't believe that for a
minute, and neither do you.
610
00:28:00,972 --> 00:28:02,250
No, I don't.
611
00:28:02,275 --> 00:28:05,053
But, uh, just to be
on the safe side, uh,
612
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,109
let's grow between
now and lunchtime?
613
00:28:07,135 --> 00:28:08,200
(laughs)
614
00:28:11,110 --> 00:28:12,388
So?
615
00:28:12,413 --> 00:28:13,756
So, what?
616
00:28:13,781 --> 00:28:14,791
So you spent the evening
617
00:28:14,816 --> 00:28:16,028
with the girl of your dreams.
618
00:28:16,054 --> 00:28:17,398
You held her in your arms
619
00:28:17,423 --> 00:28:19,067
and danced the night away.
620
00:28:19,093 --> 00:28:22,305
Are you happy,
sad... fed up, in love,
621
00:28:22,332 --> 00:28:24,210
disgusted, or none of the above?
622
00:28:24,236 --> 00:28:26,114
I had a great time until...
623
00:28:26,140 --> 00:28:28,586
Good morning, Miss Maxwell.
624
00:28:28,613 --> 00:28:31,191
Morning, Miss M.
Good morning, Doc.
625
00:28:31,218 --> 00:28:32,963
Morning, Miss
Maxwell. Morning, Isaac.
626
00:28:32,989 --> 00:28:35,589
Morning, Mona. Drop
dead, Mr. D'Angelo.
627
00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:41,060
Sounds like she had
a great time to me.
628
00:28:43,310 --> 00:28:45,521
Uh, couldn't we go someplace
where we could be alone?
629
00:28:45,547 --> 00:28:47,392
Hey, I've gotta get these
papers to the captain.
630
00:28:47,418 --> 00:28:49,195
Great, I'll come with
you. He can marry us.
631
00:28:49,221 --> 00:28:50,932
That's a myth. Captains
don't marry people.
632
00:28:50,958 --> 00:28:52,569
Then we'll settle for
the use of his cabin.
633
00:28:52,594 --> 00:28:54,506
Hey, what is it
with you and Alex?
634
00:28:54,533 --> 00:28:55,943
Oh, him. Poor Alex.
635
00:28:55,968 --> 00:28:58,114
He... You've been
like a tonic to him.
636
00:28:58,140 --> 00:28:59,600
What?
637
00:28:59,626 --> 00:29:02,405
Well, you've been such
an influence on him, Julie.
638
00:29:02,432 --> 00:29:06,329
Uh... How can I
put this... delicately?
639
00:29:06,357 --> 00:29:08,785
You see, Alex...
640
00:29:08,812 --> 00:29:12,192
Alex has never really been
interested in women before.
641
00:29:12,219 --> 00:29:15,181
I mean, before you.
642
00:29:15,208 --> 00:29:16,469
It's not his fault though.
643
00:29:16,495 --> 00:29:19,991
It's a tragic football
injury in high school.
644
00:29:20,019 --> 00:29:21,963
Alex warned me
that you'd do anything
645
00:29:21,989 --> 00:29:23,249
to get me interested in you.
646
00:29:23,274 --> 00:29:24,885
But it's not gonna work.
647
00:29:24,911 --> 00:29:26,355
He also told me
about your fianc�e.
648
00:29:26,380 --> 00:29:27,625
I don't have a fianc�e.
649
00:29:27,651 --> 00:29:29,729
He said you'd say that
too. I don't, believe me.
650
00:29:29,755 --> 00:29:30,998
He told me you'd plead.
651
00:29:31,023 --> 00:29:33,068
Why, that no-good,
rotten creep. I'll kill him.
652
00:29:33,094 --> 00:29:34,338
Well, while you're killing him,
653
00:29:34,364 --> 00:29:36,242
I'm gonna go take these
papers to the captain.
654
00:29:36,268 --> 00:29:38,146
Don't rush.
655
00:29:38,172 --> 00:29:41,340
It's gonna take Alex
a long time to die.
656
00:29:42,313 --> 00:29:43,290
(knock on door)
657
00:29:43,315 --> 00:29:46,462
Oh, come in. It's open.
658
00:29:46,490 --> 00:29:48,901
Hi. Well, I'm ready for lunch.
659
00:29:48,927 --> 00:29:50,304
How do I look?
660
00:29:50,330 --> 00:29:52,742
Aren't I the most beautiful
thing you've ever seen?
661
00:29:52,768 --> 00:29:55,147
Oh, I know, I know.
Too pushy. Hm.
662
00:29:55,174 --> 00:29:58,654
Oh, but I don't care. I've
decided to have 16 kids,
663
00:29:58,681 --> 00:30:00,909
and every one of 'em's
gonna look just like you.
664
00:30:00,936 --> 00:30:03,415
How's that for
pushy? Beth, we...
665
00:30:03,441 --> 00:30:06,357
Hey. I'm trying to tell
you that I love you.
666
00:30:08,685 --> 00:30:12,169
Look, Beth. This
was all a mistake.
667
00:30:14,196 --> 00:30:16,324
Let's just forget
about us, okay?
668
00:30:16,350 --> 00:30:18,646
What? No.
669
00:30:18,673 --> 00:30:21,501
I'm really sorry.
670
00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:23,439
Hey. What did I do?
671
00:30:23,465 --> 00:30:25,766
Don't... go.
672
00:30:28,442 --> 00:30:30,375
(piano playing,
people chattering)
673
00:30:34,221 --> 00:30:35,765
(laughing)
674
00:30:35,791 --> 00:30:37,836
Ah. Here it is.
675
00:30:37,862 --> 00:30:39,306
Oh. Thank you,
my dear. Thank you.
676
00:30:39,332 --> 00:30:40,714
Mm.
677
00:30:44,074 --> 00:30:46,920
Mm. Mm. Now, my favorite
678
00:30:46,947 --> 00:30:48,558
was the one where you
and that young marine
679
00:30:48,583 --> 00:30:51,662
were tap dancing all over
those antiaircraft guns.
680
00:30:51,690 --> 00:30:54,069
Oh, you mean, uh, Desert Moon.
681
00:30:54,095 --> 00:30:57,858
Desert Moon? On a ship?
No, that doesn't make sense.
682
00:30:57,886 --> 00:31:00,064
Oh, it did when they
paid me $100,000
683
00:31:00,090 --> 00:31:01,617
and, uh, 10
percent of the gross.
684
00:31:01,643 --> 00:31:02,954
(Stubing laughs)
685
00:31:02,980 --> 00:31:05,075
All right, tell us about
the time the horse bit you.
686
00:31:05,101 --> 00:31:06,078
You're gonna love this.
687
00:31:06,103 --> 00:31:07,981
(laughs)
688
00:31:08,007 --> 00:31:09,868
We were making a horse opera.
689
00:31:09,894 --> 00:31:12,006
Uh, and usually, that
means a Western.
690
00:31:12,032 --> 00:31:13,492
Anyway, in this
particular picture,
691
00:31:13,518 --> 00:31:15,630
I actually had to sing
opera sitting on a horse.
692
00:31:15,656 --> 00:31:17,935
Mona... could we talk?
693
00:31:17,961 --> 00:31:19,704
I am talking.
694
00:31:19,730 --> 00:31:21,158
Well, anyway, there
was this horse...
695
00:31:21,184 --> 00:31:22,583
Privately.
696
00:31:23,807 --> 00:31:25,489
Would you excuse us?
697
00:31:28,716 --> 00:31:32,597
Captain... you tell the
rest of the story, will you?
698
00:31:32,625 --> 00:31:35,558
He tells it much better
than I do anyway.
699
00:31:36,967 --> 00:31:38,979
Anyway, there was this horse...
700
00:31:39,005 --> 00:31:40,248
Now, what's your story?
701
00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:42,713
Come on outside, will you?
702
00:31:47,355 --> 00:31:50,434
Ooh. I feel like such a klutz
703
00:31:50,461 --> 00:31:52,472
turning my ankle
playing Ping-Pong.
704
00:31:52,498 --> 00:31:54,310
Well, I still think
you should see Doc.
705
00:31:54,336 --> 00:31:57,481
No, what I really
need is to just get off it.
706
00:31:57,508 --> 00:31:59,220
Here, give me the key,
and I'll open the door.
707
00:31:59,246 --> 00:32:00,778
Yeah.
708
00:32:03,989 --> 00:32:05,566
Lean on me. Ooh.
709
00:32:05,592 --> 00:32:07,086
Careful.
710
00:32:07,111 --> 00:32:08,444
BOTH: Whoa.
711
00:32:09,617 --> 00:32:11,497
Oh, wait, let me close the door.
712
00:32:12,123 --> 00:32:13,856
That's good. Whoop.
713
00:32:15,129 --> 00:32:17,306
What are you doing?
I'm kissing you.
714
00:32:17,332 --> 00:32:18,644
Well, what about your ankle?
715
00:32:18,670 --> 00:32:20,948
There's nothing wrong
with my ankle. It's my heart.
716
00:32:20,974 --> 00:32:22,084
Mwah.
717
00:32:22,109 --> 00:32:24,154
No, no. You're crazy.
718
00:32:24,181 --> 00:32:25,261
Ohh. Oh.
719
00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:30,021
Wally. Don't you knock?
720
00:32:32,497 --> 00:32:34,097
Congratulations.
You win the bet.
721
00:32:35,487 --> 00:32:37,232
The bed. You... The bed.
722
00:32:37,257 --> 00:32:39,635
You said "bet." What
bet? No. He said "bed."
723
00:32:39,662 --> 00:32:40,839
He said "bet." He said "bed."
724
00:32:40,864 --> 00:32:42,241
Didn't you?! Alex.
725
00:32:42,267 --> 00:32:44,646
Come on. What's the sense
of going on with this little ruse?
726
00:32:44,672 --> 00:32:45,649
We did have a bet.
727
00:32:45,674 --> 00:32:46,918
About what?
728
00:32:46,944 --> 00:32:50,240
You. We had a bet to see
which one of us would...
729
00:32:50,267 --> 00:32:53,263
Uh... I'm so ashamed.
730
00:32:53,290 --> 00:32:55,684
You're also a jerk.
731
00:32:55,711 --> 00:32:57,506
That I was a bet?
732
00:32:57,532 --> 00:32:59,460
I can't believe
this. The two of you.
733
00:32:59,486 --> 00:33:01,314
You and he and... Oh.
734
00:33:01,340 --> 00:33:02,522
You're upset.
735
00:33:03,410 --> 00:33:04,894
Oh.
736
00:33:06,333 --> 00:33:07,532
(chuckles)
737
00:33:09,439 --> 00:33:11,250
She was almost mine.
738
00:33:11,276 --> 00:33:14,406
Well, almost does
not a winner make.
739
00:33:14,434 --> 00:33:16,995
You realize that now
she's so steaming,
740
00:33:17,022 --> 00:33:18,717
neither of us has a chance.
741
00:33:18,742 --> 00:33:20,792
Speak for yourself.
We haven't docked yet.
742
00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:24,078
Miss Donaldson, can
I fix you something?
743
00:33:24,104 --> 00:33:27,015
Yeah. How are you
at fixing broken hearts?
744
00:33:27,042 --> 00:33:28,520
Fine, if you don't
mind them coming out
745
00:33:28,546 --> 00:33:30,691
looking like a banana daiquiri.
746
00:33:30,717 --> 00:33:32,095
That'll do for a start.
747
00:33:32,121 --> 00:33:34,699
Okay. One banana...
748
00:33:34,725 --> 00:33:36,403
Hey, uh, hello,
folks. How you doing?
749
00:33:36,429 --> 00:33:37,606
Howdy-doody.
750
00:33:37,631 --> 00:33:38,841
Can I get you something?
751
00:33:38,867 --> 00:33:40,612
Oh, yeah. Let me see.
752
00:33:40,638 --> 00:33:42,182
Uh, two pi�a coladas.
753
00:33:42,207 --> 00:33:44,586
And don't you
dare ask for our IDs.
754
00:33:44,613 --> 00:33:45,623
(laughs)
755
00:33:45,648 --> 00:33:47,192
Promise. Okay.
756
00:33:47,217 --> 00:33:49,295
Ah. Hi. Heh.
757
00:33:49,322 --> 00:33:51,167
I know it's easy to overlook us,
758
00:33:51,193 --> 00:33:53,771
but, uh, I don't know
why I overlooked you.
759
00:33:53,797 --> 00:33:56,760
You're the second most
beautiful girl onboard.
760
00:33:56,788 --> 00:33:58,799
Dottie's number one.
761
00:33:58,825 --> 00:34:01,137
Ralph, are you flirting again?
762
00:34:01,163 --> 00:34:03,375
Try to pick on
someone your own size.
763
00:34:03,402 --> 00:34:04,462
Who said that?
764
00:34:04,487 --> 00:34:06,131
(both laughing)
765
00:34:06,157 --> 00:34:08,002
Uh, excuse me, I
really have to go.
766
00:34:08,028 --> 00:34:09,289
DOTTIE: Pardon me.
767
00:34:09,314 --> 00:34:11,834
But you look like you
just lost your best friend.
768
00:34:12,771 --> 00:34:15,984
Uh... Well, I did.
769
00:34:16,011 --> 00:34:18,522
I guess he wasn't
my best friend.
770
00:34:18,549 --> 00:34:19,810
A boyfriend?
771
00:34:19,835 --> 00:34:21,179
Kind of.
772
00:34:21,204 --> 00:34:23,849
Yeah, he dropped me just
like that, and I don't know why.
773
00:34:23,876 --> 00:34:26,121
I guess maybe I
came on too strong.
774
00:34:26,148 --> 00:34:29,361
Here we go. Two pi�a
coladas and a brand new heart.
775
00:34:29,388 --> 00:34:30,565
Thank you.
776
00:34:30,590 --> 00:34:32,802
Maybe he just got cold feet.
777
00:34:32,829 --> 00:34:34,556
Remember how it
was with us, honey?
778
00:34:34,582 --> 00:34:38,328
Uh-huh. We already set
the wedding date, and...
779
00:34:38,356 --> 00:34:39,884
And then one day, I panicked.
780
00:34:39,909 --> 00:34:41,069
Why?
781
00:34:41,095 --> 00:34:43,574
RALPH: Well, being little, uh,
782
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,078
we wondered...
783
00:34:45,104 --> 00:34:47,716
Well... Well, you know,
about kids and everything.
784
00:34:47,743 --> 00:34:50,321
Maybe that's what
scared him off.
785
00:34:50,347 --> 00:34:52,859
I was talking about kids.
786
00:34:52,886 --> 00:34:54,080
Sixteen of them.
787
00:34:54,105 --> 00:34:55,871
Sixteen?
788
00:34:57,095 --> 00:34:59,274
You better have a pretty
good diaper service.
789
00:34:59,300 --> 00:35:00,966
(all laugh)
790
00:35:02,874 --> 00:35:04,068
Did you have kids?
791
00:35:04,093 --> 00:35:05,636
Oh, yes, we have two.
792
00:35:05,662 --> 00:35:06,873
A beautiful married daughter,
793
00:35:06,898 --> 00:35:09,377
compact-sized, like us.
794
00:35:09,404 --> 00:35:10,681
Then there's our son.
795
00:35:10,706 --> 00:35:12,233
Uh, the jolly green giant.
796
00:35:12,259 --> 00:35:13,754
Heh. Uh...
797
00:35:13,779 --> 00:35:16,658
a wonderful boy. And in
fact, if he hadn't met someone,
798
00:35:16,685 --> 00:35:18,430
I'd like to introduce
you to him.
799
00:35:18,456 --> 00:35:21,318
Well, if I hadn't met
someone, I'd take you up on it.
800
00:35:21,345 --> 00:35:23,523
Listen, this fellow
you care about:
801
00:35:23,550 --> 00:35:26,228
Don't you give up
on him without a fight.
802
00:35:26,254 --> 00:35:28,566
Why, I stuck to Ralph like glue,
803
00:35:28,593 --> 00:35:30,371
and so far it's lasted.
804
00:35:30,397 --> 00:35:33,309
Twenty-five years today.
805
00:35:33,336 --> 00:35:36,203
Oh, 25 years. Mm-hm.
806
00:35:37,696 --> 00:35:39,607
( melancholy theme playing)
807
00:35:39,633 --> 00:35:41,411
Uh...
808
00:35:41,436 --> 00:35:45,149
did your son bring you onboard
to celebrate your anniversary?
809
00:35:45,177 --> 00:35:47,293
He sure did.
810
00:35:49,469 --> 00:35:54,172
Oh. Well, then I
will take your advice.
811
00:35:55,281 --> 00:35:57,614
Oh. Thank you. Heh.
812
00:35:58,421 --> 00:35:59,719
Mwah. Oh. Mwah.
813
00:36:00,925 --> 00:36:02,270
You're wonderful people.
814
00:36:02,296 --> 00:36:05,680
No. Just people.
815
00:36:09,627 --> 00:36:11,326
So long, Beth.
816
00:36:18,111 --> 00:36:19,677
BOTH: Beth.
817
00:36:20,750 --> 00:36:22,261
Ha.
818
00:36:22,287 --> 00:36:23,487
Va-va-voom.
819
00:36:29,869 --> 00:36:32,570
( mellow theme playing)
820
00:36:39,638 --> 00:36:43,019
It's been a long time
since I've been stood up.
821
00:36:43,047 --> 00:36:44,724
I may not be box office anymore,
822
00:36:44,750 --> 00:36:45,794
but this is ridiculous.
823
00:36:45,819 --> 00:36:47,163
Look, I didn't mean
to stand you up.
824
00:36:47,188 --> 00:36:49,299
I just thought you'd
rather be with your friends.
825
00:36:49,325 --> 00:36:50,703
I only went to
the captain's party
826
00:36:50,729 --> 00:36:52,273
because I thought
you would join me.
827
00:36:52,299 --> 00:36:53,509
Really? Really.
828
00:36:53,534 --> 00:36:55,146
Would you like it
engraved in marble?
829
00:36:55,172 --> 00:36:56,348
I'm sorry.
830
00:36:56,373 --> 00:36:58,518
Now, are we going to
have a Mexican dinner
831
00:36:58,544 --> 00:37:00,289
in town tonight or not?
832
00:37:00,315 --> 00:37:01,392
Because if we are,
833
00:37:01,417 --> 00:37:03,929
I have about... 30
invitations to cancel.
834
00:37:03,956 --> 00:37:06,201
I wouldn't want you
to disappoint anybody.
835
00:37:06,227 --> 00:37:09,272
Artie! Okay, okay.
We're having dinner.
836
00:37:09,300 --> 00:37:11,746
Gee. Thanks a lot.
837
00:37:11,772 --> 00:37:14,305
( tranquil theme playing)
838
00:37:18,887 --> 00:37:21,365
Julie. Just forget about it.
839
00:37:21,391 --> 00:37:23,302
It was a harmless little joke.
840
00:37:23,328 --> 00:37:27,208
Oh-ho-ho, yeah. Betting
on me like I was a racehorse.
841
00:37:27,237 --> 00:37:29,449
Ah. Don't look now.
Here come your lovers.
842
00:37:29,475 --> 00:37:31,453
WALLY: Julie, my darling.
843
00:37:31,479 --> 00:37:34,558
Can a guy apologize
to a girl over a drink?
844
00:37:34,585 --> 00:37:35,995
Sure.
845
00:37:36,021 --> 00:37:38,600
If the guy's drink is arsenic.
846
00:37:38,627 --> 00:37:39,793
I don't blame you.
847
00:37:41,751 --> 00:37:43,628
Look, um, Julie...
848
00:37:43,654 --> 00:37:45,699
I know that this
whole thing started out
849
00:37:45,725 --> 00:37:48,437
as a kind of childish game.
850
00:37:48,464 --> 00:37:51,744
But somewhere along the line,
851
00:37:51,771 --> 00:37:53,181
it stopped being a game for me
852
00:37:53,207 --> 00:37:58,305
and became something
very, very real.
853
00:37:58,334 --> 00:37:59,611
Mm-hm.
854
00:37:59,637 --> 00:38:01,649
It was real for me too, Alex.
855
00:38:01,675 --> 00:38:02,675
It was?
856
00:38:04,063 --> 00:38:06,275
A real pain in the neck.
857
00:38:06,301 --> 00:38:09,680
Would you two both get lost?
858
00:38:09,707 --> 00:38:11,690
Gopher. (clears throat)
859
00:38:13,348 --> 00:38:15,293
Being a little rough on them.
860
00:38:15,319 --> 00:38:17,730
Hey, Gopher. I've had
it with those two jerks.
861
00:38:17,757 --> 00:38:19,869
Now, Julie, wait a
minute. If you think about it,
862
00:38:19,895 --> 00:38:21,473
they paid you a
very high compliment.
863
00:38:21,499 --> 00:38:23,477
Oh, pardon me.
Make that three jerks.
864
00:38:23,503 --> 00:38:25,614
No, no, wait.
Just think about it.
865
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,851
(in dramatic tone):
Julie, it's love.
866
00:38:27,878 --> 00:38:31,514
It's love! It's love.
867
00:38:32,688 --> 00:38:34,133
It's also...
868
00:38:34,158 --> 00:38:36,035
(in dramatic tone):
horsefeathers.
869
00:38:36,061 --> 00:38:37,772
But I know what you mean.
870
00:38:37,798 --> 00:38:40,550
( mellow theme playing)
871
00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:48,032
(soft jazzy tune playing)
872
00:38:57,439 --> 00:38:59,751
That's nice.
873
00:38:59,778 --> 00:39:02,423
Looks like love to me.
874
00:39:02,449 --> 00:39:04,327
Good old ship,
you've done it again.
875
00:39:04,353 --> 00:39:05,819
(chuckles)
876
00:39:12,487 --> 00:39:15,099
Mm. This champagne is delicious.
877
00:39:15,126 --> 00:39:16,303
Isn't it, Doug?
878
00:39:16,328 --> 00:39:19,173
Nothing but the best for
our silver anniversary. Heh.
879
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,546
Just think how
lucky you are, Dottie.
880
00:39:21,573 --> 00:39:23,050
Twenty-five years with
881
00:39:23,075 --> 00:39:24,853
the last of the big spenders.
882
00:39:24,879 --> 00:39:26,223
Who said that? Heh-heh.
883
00:39:26,249 --> 00:39:28,260
Are you sure your
Beth won't be joining us?
884
00:39:28,286 --> 00:39:29,653
No, Mom, she's not coming.
885
00:39:30,959 --> 00:39:32,703
Uh, come on,
Dottie, let's dance.
886
00:39:32,728 --> 00:39:35,541
Oh, Doug, don't drink
up all the champagne
887
00:39:35,568 --> 00:39:36,912
before we get back. Heh.
888
00:39:36,938 --> 00:39:39,378
Sippy, sippy. Ha-heh.
889
00:39:51,216 --> 00:39:53,494
It's all your fault.
890
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:54,765
My fault? All your fault.
891
00:39:54,791 --> 00:39:56,501
Yeah... Hi, guys.
892
00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:58,305
I had... Listen, it's his fault.
893
00:39:58,331 --> 00:40:00,209
I will accept none of
the responsibility of this.
894
00:40:00,235 --> 00:40:02,235
You are a fool, my
friend. (whistles)
895
00:40:02,874 --> 00:40:04,852
I'm not mad at you anymore.
896
00:40:04,878 --> 00:40:06,421
You mean it?
897
00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:08,409
Mm-hm. And to prove it,
898
00:40:08,435 --> 00:40:11,881
I want the three of us to spend
every possible minute together
899
00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:13,720
for the rest of this cruise.
900
00:40:13,746 --> 00:40:15,174
The three of us? Uh-huh.
901
00:40:15,199 --> 00:40:17,344
You mean, you're never
gonna choose between us?
902
00:40:17,371 --> 00:40:18,715
No.
903
00:40:18,740 --> 00:40:21,935
Well, I guess we never
find out who wins the pizza.
904
00:40:21,963 --> 00:40:24,025
Pizza?!
905
00:40:24,051 --> 00:40:26,869
That's all I was worth
to you, is a pizza?
906
00:40:28,409 --> 00:40:29,575
With anchovies?
907
00:40:30,982 --> 00:40:33,114
(all laughing)
908
00:40:34,088 --> 00:40:35,765
Ancho... Those little things.
909
00:40:35,791 --> 00:40:37,471
(laughs): A pizza.
910
00:40:54,697 --> 00:40:56,508
All out for the 17th floor,
911
00:40:56,534 --> 00:40:58,974
including all stockbrokers
and their wives.
912
00:40:59,808 --> 00:41:01,919
I know. Too pushy. Beth...
913
00:41:01,945 --> 00:41:03,256
Look, I got a couple of pieces
914
00:41:03,281 --> 00:41:04,642
of good advice this afternoon.
915
00:41:04,668 --> 00:41:07,980
The first was... the only
way to fix a broken heart
916
00:41:08,007 --> 00:41:09,952
was to turn it into
a banana daiquiri.
917
00:41:09,978 --> 00:41:13,608
The second was,
if you find a guy
918
00:41:13,636 --> 00:41:14,880
you're madly in love with,
919
00:41:14,906 --> 00:41:17,226
stick to him like
glue, no matter what.
920
00:41:20,934 --> 00:41:24,085
So... I'm... I'm sticking.
921
00:41:28,166 --> 00:41:30,244
Okay, uh, ahem,
922
00:41:30,270 --> 00:41:31,837
then there's something
you gotta know.
923
00:41:33,076 --> 00:41:35,042
You see those two small
people dancing over there?
924
00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:41,491
They're my folks.
925
00:41:42,846 --> 00:41:45,892
And they are the two most
wonderful people in the world.
926
00:41:45,919 --> 00:41:46,919
I know.
927
00:41:50,980 --> 00:41:52,991
You know what else?
928
00:41:53,017 --> 00:41:54,862
I'm not gonna stop bugging you
929
00:41:54,888 --> 00:41:57,733
until it's our 25th
anniversary. Heh.
930
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,588
Now, uh, do me a favor, huh?
931
00:42:00,615 --> 00:42:03,055
Pour me a little champagne.
932
00:42:09,635 --> 00:42:11,179
Sure, it's our anniversary,
933
00:42:11,204 --> 00:42:12,781
and you're doing
all the celebrating.
934
00:42:12,807 --> 00:42:13,818
Oh.
935
00:42:13,843 --> 00:42:14,987
Happy anniversary.
936
00:42:15,012 --> 00:42:17,045
(drum roll playing)
937
00:42:18,486 --> 00:42:20,531
ALL: Happy anniversary!
938
00:42:20,557 --> 00:42:22,135
(all clapping)
939
00:42:22,161 --> 00:42:23,538
Hey. Look at that.
940
00:42:23,563 --> 00:42:24,940
Congratulations.
941
00:42:24,966 --> 00:42:27,811
Oh, it's beautiful. You
shouldn't have done it.
942
00:42:27,838 --> 00:42:30,117
Well, I'm sure
glad they did. Ha.
943
00:42:30,143 --> 00:42:32,288
I only have one
question, captain.
944
00:42:32,315 --> 00:42:33,626
Uh, what's that?
945
00:42:33,651 --> 00:42:36,129
Why did they make
the cake so small?
946
00:42:36,156 --> 00:42:37,733
BOTH: Who said that?
947
00:42:37,758 --> 00:42:39,942
(all laughing)
948
00:42:45,942 --> 00:42:48,721
Mm. What a night.
949
00:42:48,748 --> 00:42:49,792
Heh.
950
00:42:49,817 --> 00:42:52,062
Sure beats bowling
with the boys.
951
00:42:52,089 --> 00:42:54,567
(both chuckle)
952
00:42:54,593 --> 00:42:55,959
Oh.
953
00:43:03,762 --> 00:43:06,322
Stay here with me.
954
00:43:07,136 --> 00:43:09,397
I want to, but... No buts.
955
00:43:09,424 --> 00:43:11,302
Oh.
956
00:43:11,328 --> 00:43:13,028
Would you believe I'm nervous?
957
00:43:14,167 --> 00:43:16,512
For once, I'm not.
958
00:43:16,538 --> 00:43:18,716
Artie, it's just that
you have this...
959
00:43:18,743 --> 00:43:22,790
This image of me,
and I... I'm scared. I...
960
00:43:22,818 --> 00:43:25,130
I'm scared I
can't live up to it.
961
00:43:25,157 --> 00:43:27,452
You've already lived
up to and beyond
962
00:43:27,478 --> 00:43:29,589
any dream I ever had.
963
00:43:29,615 --> 00:43:31,744
You're a warm, wonderful lady.
964
00:43:31,771 --> 00:43:34,983
And I happen to
be in love with you.
965
00:43:35,010 --> 00:43:37,789
Wow. Just like in the movies.
966
00:43:37,816 --> 00:43:39,349
Heh.
967
00:43:47,503 --> 00:43:49,969
( mellow theme playing)
968
00:43:55,151 --> 00:43:57,497
I haven't been up this early
since I had a paper route.
969
00:43:57,524 --> 00:43:59,134
(both chuckling)
970
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:01,360
Well, it must be love.
971
00:44:03,402 --> 00:44:04,501
It is.
972
00:44:07,109 --> 00:44:08,888
You know, I'm starving.
973
00:44:08,914 --> 00:44:10,391
Isn't it time for breakfast yet?
974
00:44:10,417 --> 00:44:12,662
Another hour. Another hour.
975
00:44:12,688 --> 00:44:14,165
But I don't wanna
waste a single moment
976
00:44:14,191 --> 00:44:16,324
of our last day at sea.
977
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,280
You know, it's back
to the elevator for us.
978
00:44:22,474 --> 00:44:23,540
Hm.
979
00:44:24,613 --> 00:44:26,123
Would I be rushing
things, do you think,
980
00:44:26,148 --> 00:44:29,050
if I said that I might like to
take you away from all that?
981
00:44:30,758 --> 00:44:33,771
Oh, you mean, uh,
we'd use the stairs?
982
00:44:33,798 --> 00:44:35,297
(grunts) (laughs)
983
00:44:36,637 --> 00:44:39,157
What's the matter
with rushing things?
984
00:44:41,046 --> 00:44:43,825
Okay, if we married
and had kids...
985
00:44:43,852 --> 00:44:47,398
it's almost a hundred percent
that they'd be normal. Mm-hm.
986
00:44:47,426 --> 00:44:49,738
But there is a
chance in a million...
987
00:44:49,764 --> 00:44:50,997
that they'd be small.
988
00:44:52,369 --> 00:44:53,714
You know, a couple of days ago,
989
00:44:53,739 --> 00:44:56,283
that would have scared
the daylights out of me.
990
00:44:56,310 --> 00:44:57,788
Now?
991
00:44:57,814 --> 00:44:59,926
Knowing your parents...
992
00:44:59,952 --> 00:45:01,696
it just doesn't
make any difference.
993
00:45:01,722 --> 00:45:02,755
Ah.
994
00:45:05,028 --> 00:45:06,039
Hm.
995
00:45:06,064 --> 00:45:07,641
How am I gonna
get back to my room
996
00:45:07,667 --> 00:45:09,245
without everybody pointing?
997
00:45:09,271 --> 00:45:11,316
It's obvious I haven't
been there all night.
998
00:45:11,342 --> 00:45:12,785
Ha. I'll lend you
one of my suits.
999
00:45:12,811 --> 00:45:14,256
Hm. Wrong size.
1000
00:45:14,281 --> 00:45:15,858
Here, you can have my pajamas.
1001
00:45:15,884 --> 00:45:18,997
Oh. It won't match
my shoes and bag. Ha.
1002
00:45:19,024 --> 00:45:21,602
Oh, Artie. Artie, you're great.
1003
00:45:21,629 --> 00:45:22,806
The feeling is mutual.
1004
00:45:22,831 --> 00:45:24,642
(chuckles)
1005
00:45:24,668 --> 00:45:25,668
Heh.
1006
00:45:26,772 --> 00:45:28,451
I'm never gonna
forget you, Mona.
1007
00:45:28,477 --> 00:45:29,620
Well, now, wait a minute.
1008
00:45:29,645 --> 00:45:32,524
That sounds like
you're saying goodbye.
1009
00:45:32,552 --> 00:45:35,298
Well, I... I am, really.
1010
00:45:35,324 --> 00:45:38,669
I mean, I wouldn't presume
to think that this could...
1011
00:45:38,697 --> 00:45:40,559
I don't believe it.
1012
00:45:40,585 --> 00:45:42,429
Y-you think that I'm
the kind of a woman
1013
00:45:42,455 --> 00:45:44,601
who plays one-night stands?
1014
00:45:44,627 --> 00:45:46,571
That I'm some cheap broad?
1015
00:45:46,597 --> 00:45:47,908
Oh, mister, you've been
1016
00:45:47,934 --> 00:45:49,912
seeing too damn many movies.
1017
00:45:49,938 --> 00:45:51,604
Mona. Mona.
1018
00:45:53,161 --> 00:45:55,305
Oh.
1019
00:45:55,332 --> 00:45:57,133
What the hell am I doing?
1020
00:45:58,405 --> 00:46:00,088
I love you, Artie.
1021
00:46:01,779 --> 00:46:03,990
Don't let me go out this door.
1022
00:46:04,017 --> 00:46:05,728
It's lonely out there.
1023
00:46:05,754 --> 00:46:08,633
Oh, I won't, Mona.
1024
00:46:08,660 --> 00:46:11,505
Not even if you wore
my suit and my pajamas.
1025
00:46:11,532 --> 00:46:12,612
(laughing)
1026
00:46:21,787 --> 00:46:23,064
( upbeat theme playing)
1027
00:46:23,089 --> 00:46:25,690
(boat horn blows)
1028
00:46:41,460 --> 00:46:42,804
BRICKER: Bye-bye. So long.
1029
00:46:42,830 --> 00:46:44,274
We had a terrific time, guys.
1030
00:46:44,299 --> 00:46:46,494
Oh, good. Yes,
thank you so much.
1031
00:46:46,521 --> 00:46:48,432
It's a pleasure. We
hope to see you again.
1032
00:46:48,458 --> 00:46:50,036
Listen, why don't you
reserve a cabin now
1033
00:46:50,062 --> 00:46:51,490
for your golden anniversary?
1034
00:46:51,515 --> 00:46:54,982
Good idea. Especially if
our son springs for it. Heh.
1035
00:46:56,024 --> 00:46:57,768
I wonder where he is.
1036
00:46:57,794 --> 00:46:58,894
Hey, shorty.
1037
00:47:02,838 --> 00:47:04,938
Ah. One minute.
1038
00:47:06,879 --> 00:47:08,923
RALPH: You know what they say.
1039
00:47:08,950 --> 00:47:10,745
Like father, like son.
1040
00:47:10,771 --> 00:47:12,515
Oh, come on, Ralph.
1041
00:47:12,540 --> 00:47:15,086
Stop trying to be
such a big shot.
1042
00:47:15,113 --> 00:47:16,456
BOTH: Who said that?
1043
00:47:16,482 --> 00:47:17,716
(both laugh)
1044
00:47:18,787 --> 00:47:20,065
Hey. So long.
1045
00:47:20,090 --> 00:47:21,366
Oh, it was wonderful. Goodbye.
1046
00:47:21,392 --> 00:47:22,971
Bye-bye, Mrs. Warren.
Nice to meet you.
1047
00:47:22,996 --> 00:47:24,406
Hey, let's go, dear.
1048
00:47:24,432 --> 00:47:25,682
GOPHER: So long.
1049
00:47:26,669 --> 00:47:28,581
Julie. Julie. Yeah.
1050
00:47:28,607 --> 00:47:29,684
Have you finished work yet?
1051
00:47:29,710 --> 00:47:31,054
Just about. Gopher? Mm-mm.
1052
00:47:31,079 --> 00:47:32,190
Would you please take care of
1053
00:47:32,215 --> 00:47:33,859
the rest of the
passengers for me?
1054
00:47:33,885 --> 00:47:36,063
Where are you going?
To get a pizza. My treat.
1055
00:47:36,089 --> 00:47:37,300
With anchovies.
1056
00:47:37,326 --> 00:47:38,769
Anchovies? Sausage.
1057
00:47:38,794 --> 00:47:40,973
All right, anchovies,
sausage and onions.
1058
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:42,878
Anchovies, sausage,
onions and green peppers.
1059
00:47:42,904 --> 00:47:44,715
No green peppers. I
want green peppers.
1060
00:47:44,741 --> 00:47:46,285
I want thick crust.
1061
00:47:46,310 --> 00:47:48,655
All right, anchovies,
sausage, onions, green pep...
1062
00:47:48,682 --> 00:47:50,093
(whistles)
1063
00:47:50,118 --> 00:47:52,385
Let's forget the pizza
and eat Chinese.
1064
00:47:53,459 --> 00:47:54,503
(speaks indistinctly)
1065
00:47:54,528 --> 00:47:56,322
WALLY: See you,
buddy. ALEX: So long.
1066
00:47:56,348 --> 00:47:57,842
Now, we're all
meeting Saturday night
1067
00:47:57,867 --> 00:47:59,077
at Chasen's for dinner, right?
1068
00:47:59,103 --> 00:48:00,280
I wouldn't miss it.
1069
00:48:00,305 --> 00:48:01,282
Wait till I tell my mom
1070
00:48:01,307 --> 00:48:03,786
I'm having dinner
with Mona Maxwell.
1071
00:48:03,813 --> 00:48:05,290
Oh, no.
1072
00:48:05,315 --> 00:48:06,860
You tell your mom
you're having dinner
1073
00:48:06,886 --> 00:48:09,465
with Artie D'Angelo
and his girl.
1074
00:48:09,492 --> 00:48:10,702
Ha. Okay.
1075
00:48:10,727 --> 00:48:12,037
Bye-bye, Isaac. Bye-bye.
1076
00:48:12,062 --> 00:48:13,507
Goodbye, Mona.
Thank you, Merrill.
1077
00:48:13,533 --> 00:48:14,733
Good luck, Artie.
1078
00:48:16,235 --> 00:48:17,268
(sighs)
1079
00:48:28,181 --> 00:48:31,182
( upbeat theme playing)
1080
00:48:32,367 --> 00:49:32,447
Support us and become VIP member
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1081
00:49:32,497 --> 00:49:37,047
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