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1
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:04,587
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:17,876 --> 00:00:19,136
Look at this, America.
3
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,049
It's Nessa's test scores.
4
00:00:21,129 --> 00:00:23,009
Seems so small, doesn't it?
5
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:26,284
But Bernie Mac had to work
long and hard for this.
6
00:00:26,351 --> 00:00:29,521
Tell 'em, Nessa,
how hard you made me work for this.
7
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,896
Tell 'em.
Can we just open it now?
8
00:00:31,973 --> 00:00:33,063
No, no. Come on.
9
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,734
America loves
my stories, Nessa.
10
00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:36,150
Go ahead
and tell 'em.
11
00:00:36,228 --> 00:00:37,898
Tell 'em what happened.
They'll love it.
12
00:00:37,979 --> 00:00:41,039
(sighs)
Okay, well, I had...
13
00:00:43,819 --> 00:00:45,339
I can't do this!
14
00:00:48,698 --> 00:00:49,858
(clears throat)
15
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,075
Well, I'll tell you, America,
16
00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:52,379
because y'all
don't change up on me
17
00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,832
like some people around here.
18
00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:59,592
Ooh, Nessa, watch
that pot for me right quick, ok?
19
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,218
Oh, and tell your brother
to come in for dinner.
20
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,814
Thank you, sweetheart.
21
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:05,258
(indistinct voices)
22
00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:07,890
Hey, Jordan, come in.
It's dinnertime.
23
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,228
JORDAN (annoyed):
In a minute!
24
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:11,732
No, now, Jordan.
Uncle Bernie said so.
25
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,805
And I said
in a minute!
26
00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,200
(hoots and laughter)
27
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,185
Fine. Stay out there.
28
00:01:17,269 --> 00:01:19,119
I'll let Uncle Bernie
deal with you.
29
00:01:19,196 --> 00:01:20,986
Did you see that, America?
30
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:24,158
Basically, Jordan just
challenged her authority.
31
00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:26,994
And as far as I was concerned,
at the time,
32
00:01:27,070 --> 00:01:28,650
that was Nessa's problem,
33
00:01:28,731 --> 00:01:32,131
along with the problems
she was having at her new job.
34
00:01:35,245 --> 00:01:36,415
(clears throat)
35
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:39,506
I said nonfat double mocha
Grande cappuccino
36
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:42,017
with soy milk, extra cinnamon
and nutmeg on the side.
37
00:01:42,094 --> 00:01:44,644
Yes, ma'am.
I can taste the fat in it.
38
00:01:44,647 --> 00:01:47,467
Oh, well, look, somehow
39
00:01:47,549 --> 00:01:48,769
you picked up
the wrong cup.
40
00:01:50,051 --> 00:01:51,741
You gave me the wrong cup.
41
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,313
You're probably right.
42
00:01:55,390 --> 00:01:57,770
Please accept
a fat-free biscotti
43
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:01,291
and your properly
prepared drink as an apology.
44
00:02:12,115 --> 00:02:14,535
Wow, so this is
your new laptop. Sweet.
45
00:02:14,618 --> 00:02:17,418
What are you doing?
(login sounds)
46
00:02:17,495 --> 00:02:18,795
I'm just going
to AOL.
47
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,852
They have a link
to Moviefone.
48
00:02:20,924 --> 00:02:23,384
I have to buy some tickets
and your computer is way faster than mine.
49
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:26,510
I'm busy.
You won't even know I'm here.
50
00:02:26,588 --> 00:02:27,798
Score!
51
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,261
How do I get
to Tarzana?
52
00:02:29,341 --> 00:02:30,771
Ah, MapQuest.
53
00:02:32,728 --> 00:02:33,438
Hey!
54
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,950
I almost
had my ticket!
55
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,400
Jordan, I'm busy.
Now go use your own computer.
56
00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:40,078
But I'm already here
and yours is faster.
57
00:02:40,152 --> 00:02:43,152
I said no. Good-bye.
58
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,410
Fine!
59
00:02:52,948 --> 00:02:55,838
Touch it and I will
hurt you.
60
00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:14,137
Did you see it, America?
61
00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:15,943
Jordan gettin' physical.
62
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,396
I never thought
I'd see this day.
63
00:03:17,472 --> 00:03:19,612
You remember
when the lad first got here.
64
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:23,067
Pathetic. Some of y'all
even sent in money.
65
00:03:23,144 --> 00:03:24,954
America, just
take a look at him.
66
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,487
(chuckles)
Little bitty...
67
00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,527
Hey, you talking about me?
68
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,911
Hey, hey, hey, take it easy.
69
00:03:33,989 --> 00:03:37,619
-BERNIE: I thought me and you
had an understanding. -Sorry.
70
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:39,551
Yeah.
71
00:03:41,213 --> 00:03:44,223
That attitude right there,
it's my own fault.
72
00:03:44,299 --> 00:03:47,879
America, let me show you
how it all got started.
73
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,391
Weights?
74
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,362
Yeah, you got
to be ready.
75
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:52,641
It won't be long
before your sister
76
00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:54,386
come hunting for you
for revenge.
77
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,687
Women don't play.
I know.
78
00:03:56,761 --> 00:03:58,691
I got two sisters
and a wife.
79
00:03:58,763 --> 00:04:01,023
You should have
seen her face after I pushed her.
80
00:04:01,099 --> 00:04:03,029
Calm down.
Calm down.
81
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,540
I mean,
I was just trying
82
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,169
to hold myself back from
hurting her, Uncle Bernie.
83
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,736
(chuckles)
Well, if that's the case, you won't need these.
84
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,115
You be fine, huh?
85
00:04:10,191 --> 00:04:11,881
I'll hold onto these.
86
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,582
I need an exercise regimen.
87
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,253
In case something
jump off.
88
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,632
(growls)
Tiger. (growls)
89
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,894
Listen, word's going
to get around
90
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,536
about what I did
to Vanessa.
91
00:04:27,618 --> 00:04:30,178
But I just want you
to know that me and you, we're cool.
92
00:04:30,253 --> 00:04:32,513
As long as you respect
the boundaries.
93
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:34,513
What are you talking about?
94
00:04:34,591 --> 00:04:38,441
Okay, however you want
to play it, little sister.
95
00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:50,620
(sighs)
96
00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:54,487
I don't see how
they can be this bad.
97
00:04:54,569 --> 00:04:56,199
I studied really hard.
98
00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:58,499
I know, sweetie,
but you know what?
99
00:04:58,573 --> 00:05:01,543
These are the PSATs
and you can always take these again.
100
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,542
This was my second time.
101
00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:06,814
I'm never going to
get into a good college with these scores.
102
00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:11,560
You see how the balance
is off now, America?
103
00:05:11,636 --> 00:05:13,546
The boy's talking like
he's tough,
104
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,350
and Nessa, who is tough,
105
00:05:15,423 --> 00:05:18,223
is letting these test scores
get the best of her.
106
00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:20,811
But my baby Wanda and I,
we're a team.
107
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,531
So she came through
with a solution.
108
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,031
It's an SAT prep course.
109
00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:31,653
Yeah, they say they guarantee
better scores or our money back.
110
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:34,491
Honey, I didn't say
anything about the money back.
111
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:35,747
Then it's not
a guarantee.
112
00:05:35,827 --> 00:05:37,537
(chuckles nervously)
You know what?
113
00:05:37,612 --> 00:05:39,452
If you're willing,
it's Thursday night.
114
00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:40,575
Of course
she's willing.
115
00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:41,971
Thursday at what time?
116
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,332
7:30.
Okay.
117
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:47,011
Hey, Baby Girl, Jordan,
come on. Dinnertime!
118
00:05:48,623 --> 00:05:51,733
-Come on.
-(gasps) Oh, my.
119
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,593
What the hell
is wrong with you?
120
00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:57,305
What? Am I the only one
who's hot?
121
00:05:57,382 --> 00:05:59,352
-Uh, yeah.
-Boy, get in there
122
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:01,386
and put a shirt on
for dinnertime.
123
00:06:01,469 --> 00:06:03,699
Don't be afraid
of the cuts, Uncle Bernie.
124
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,322
What!
125
00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:10,542
(indistinct chatter)
126
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,573
Vanessa! There's
an extra shift on Thursday.
127
00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:17,700
Would you like
to cover it? This Thursday?
128
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:20,037
Yeah. It's cool
if you're busy.
129
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,373
Well...
130
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,508
What am I thinking?
I can use the money.
131
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,463
Of course I'll take it.
132
00:06:24,534 --> 00:06:26,134
Thanks, Vanessa.
133
00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:27,502
You are
a really good worker.
134
00:06:27,579 --> 00:06:29,709
No, thank you.
I just do my best.
135
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:31,839
Mmm. Coffee--
I love it!
136
00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:34,936
(scoffs)
Coffee.
137
00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:41,215
(door shuts)
138
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,771
Hey, Nessa.
Hey, Nessa, how'd it go?
139
00:06:43,845 --> 00:06:45,725
Honey, she didn't get
her results yet. Come on.
140
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,645
That's cool, baby,
but she know how it felt, though.
141
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:48,898
How'd it feel?
142
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:51,315
I didn't go.
What?
143
00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:53,784
-Call the police.
-Honey, why didn't you go?
144
00:06:53,855 --> 00:06:57,275
Nigel offered me
some overtime at work,
145
00:06:57,358 --> 00:06:59,158
so I decided
to take a chance
146
00:06:59,235 --> 00:07:00,985
to make some
extra money.
147
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:03,790
But now I won't
bother you guys when I need something.
148
00:07:03,865 --> 00:07:07,075
It's not a bother.
We want you to take the SAT prep course
149
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,550
-so that you can--
-So there'll be no more extra shifts.
150
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,809
Okay, okay, no more
extra shifts.
151
00:07:12,883 --> 00:07:14,353
Thank you.
152
00:07:20,682 --> 00:07:23,182
Weights are cool,
but this is a full body burn.
153
00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:25,639
I'm getting my lats
and my traps tight.
154
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,190
This little baby
is my latest addition.
155
00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:30,515
Well, I'm proud of you,
Jordan.
156
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,400
I'm up to ten
chin-ups, Uncle Bernie.
157
00:07:32,477 --> 00:07:34,027
How many can you do?
158
00:07:34,103 --> 00:07:35,953
20, maybe 30.
159
00:07:36,031 --> 00:07:38,111
No way. Let me see.
160
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,161
(dubious music playing)
161
00:07:40,235 --> 00:07:43,155
(grunting)
162
00:07:43,238 --> 00:07:45,078
Ten! Phew!
163
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,920
I counted eight.
164
00:07:46,991 --> 00:07:49,131
Go do your homework.
165
00:07:49,211 --> 00:07:50,591
You see that, America?
166
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,550
The boy's smelling himself
a little.
167
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:55,972
Plus, I had some pancakes
and I was worried about Nessa.
168
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,472
I didn't know
what was going on with the girl.
169
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:00,385
You saw the worry on my face.
170
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:04,267
So just turn it
a little and then...
171
00:08:04,342 --> 00:08:05,682
What's going on,
girls?
172
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,850
Oh, Vanessa's
just helping me out.
173
00:08:07,929 --> 00:08:09,559
She's awesome.
174
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:12,069
Yeah. Vanessa,
can I talk to you for a moment?
175
00:08:12,141 --> 00:08:13,491
Sure.
176
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,240
What's up, Nigel?
177
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,696
I've been talking
to corporate about you.
178
00:08:18,773 --> 00:08:19,953
Corporate?
179
00:08:20,024 --> 00:08:21,534
Remember Rodney
from the Beverly Center?
180
00:08:21,609 --> 00:08:23,579
He just got bumped
to Regional Manager.
181
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:27,873
I'm trying to get over there
and give you this store.
182
00:08:27,949 --> 00:08:31,329
But what about Dina?
She has seniority.
183
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:32,961
But you've got the stuff!
184
00:08:33,037 --> 00:08:35,797
And I'm talking $450
a week-- cha-cha!
185
00:08:35,873 --> 00:08:38,473
So you want your name
put in the hopper or what? How about it?
186
00:08:38,543 --> 00:08:41,653
Yeah, sure. Thanks, Nigel.
187
00:08:43,381 --> 00:08:44,921
(laughs)
188
00:08:48,553 --> 00:08:50,403
(taps on table)
Uh, Jordan?
189
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,410
That's a pretty big
piece of chicken.
190
00:08:52,482 --> 00:08:53,942
Yeah, well,
I'm a growing boy.
191
00:08:54,017 --> 00:08:55,647
I mean, I need to keep
my protein up.
192
00:08:55,727 --> 00:08:57,647
Gotta feed
the muscles.
193
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,653
Okay, I understand that,
but you know
194
00:08:59,731 --> 00:09:01,671
we usually save the big piece
for your Uncle Bernie.
195
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,661
Yeah, well, he's getting
pretty old.
196
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:06,489
I don't even think
he could digest all this meat.
197
00:09:06,571 --> 00:09:09,791
Uh--
Mmm-mmm, it smell good up in here.
198
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:12,076
You outdid it, baby. Muah!
199
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,180
And my favorite,
fried chicken.
200
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:18,965
(instrumental:
"The Birdie Song")
201
00:09:38,728 --> 00:09:40,318
You see that look, America?
202
00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:41,686
I mean, the boy acting like
203
00:09:41,765 --> 00:09:43,615
he was just going
to do something to me.
204
00:09:43,691 --> 00:09:46,961
He must have just clean lost
his doggone mind.
205
00:09:47,037 --> 00:09:49,657
Boy, tell the people
where your mind went
206
00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:51,209
right then and there.
207
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,971
Uh,
I was just hungry.
208
00:09:53,043 --> 00:09:54,503
Okay, "just hungry."
209
00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:57,497
"Just hungry" almost
got you "just hurt."
210
00:09:57,580 --> 00:10:00,010
Maybe I was thinking
about our game.
211
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,553
What game?
212
00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:03,216
(snickers)
213
00:10:03,294 --> 00:10:04,644
All right, big man,
214
00:10:04,712 --> 00:10:06,472
so you can do
ten pull-ups, huh?
215
00:10:06,547 --> 00:10:09,467
All right,
show me what you got.
216
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,434
Okay.
Come on, come on, come on!
217
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,861
(back cracks)
Oh! Oh! Oh!
218
00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:16,620
Best two out of three?
219
00:10:20,436 --> 00:10:22,316
(funky music playing)
220
00:10:22,397 --> 00:10:23,907
What?
221
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,535
I'm just telling
America the story.
222
00:10:33,074 --> 00:10:34,624
25!
Exactly.
223
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,001
(phone ringing)
Write that down. You knew that.
224
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:38,712
-Hello?
-PSAT LADY (on phone):Mrs. Mac?
225
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:40,348
This is Wanda Mac.
226
00:10:40,423 --> 00:10:41,923
Is Vanessa droppingthe test-prep course?
227
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:44,183
Oh, no. It must
be some mistake.
228
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,052
I knew that she
missed the first class,
229
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,893
but I thought
she was going to take a make-up.
230
00:10:47,964 --> 00:10:49,564
Well, the make-up daywas tonight.
231
00:10:49,632 --> 00:10:53,392
Oh. Okay. Well, did
she come at all?
232
00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:55,479
-No, she didn't.
-No?
233
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,225
Would you liketo reschedule, ma'am?
234
00:10:57,306 --> 00:10:58,556
Let me talk
to my husband,
235
00:10:58,641 --> 00:10:59,981
and I'll call
you back, okay?
236
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:02,899
-Thanks for calling.
-Ok, bye.
237
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:05,319
What's wrong,
Aunt Wanda?
238
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,248
We might have to
bury your sister.
239
00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:11,577
She was right, America.
240
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,658
'Cause I was ready
to kill somebody!
241
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,250
Can you see this little vein?
Can you see it?
242
00:11:16,325 --> 00:11:18,075
Is the vein popping?
243
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,915
Just thinking about it still
makes me want to kill somebody!
244
00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:23,257
I'll kill you dead. Kill you!
245
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,934
I can't believe you,
Nessa. (upbeat music playing
246
00:11:27,003 --> 00:11:28,313
Nessa, you...
247
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,929
Give me that.
248
00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:33,177
What the heck is wrong with you?
You're out there lying.
249
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:34,979
Got me and your aunt
worried to death,
250
00:11:35,052 --> 00:11:37,022
thinking you're someplace
that you're not.
251
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,266
You should be happy.
252
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:39,897
I'm supporting myself.
253
00:11:39,974 --> 00:11:42,284
And, if I keep it up,
I'll be making $450 a week.
254
00:11:42,351 --> 00:11:44,571
Girl, I know you got
better sense than that.
255
00:11:44,645 --> 00:11:46,985
Plus, I already done told you
what's going to make me happy,
256
00:11:47,064 --> 00:11:48,824
and that's you
getting better grades,
257
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:51,084
and you getting accepted
into a good college.
258
00:11:51,086 --> 00:11:53,116
But what about
what makes me happy?
259
00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:54,586
What about it?
260
00:11:54,664 --> 00:11:56,374
You got plenty of time
to think about that.
261
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,709
But, meanwhile, while you
living in this house,
262
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,755
it's about
what makes me happy.
263
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:04,381
Yeah, well, when
I get my promotion,
264
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:05,797
I'm moving out
of your house,
265
00:12:05,875 --> 00:12:07,625
'cause I'm not
going to college.
266
00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:08,760
What?
267
00:12:08,836 --> 00:12:11,146
(old Western
dueling music playing)
268
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,640
(rattlesnake)
269
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,654
You heard her. Huh!
270
00:12:19,722 --> 00:12:21,812
She went from lying
to being too honest.
271
00:12:21,891 --> 00:12:24,821
America, Bernie Mac's head
is spinning right now,
272
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:27,744
but hold on a sec,
because the story gets better.
273
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,988
Let me call her in here,
'cause I still want to know
274
00:12:30,066 --> 00:12:31,656
what she was thinking
right then.
275
00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:34,084
Yo, Nessa!
VANESSA: What?
276
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:36,623
It's time now. I'm going to
open up your score
277
00:12:36,697 --> 00:12:39,837
to show America
what's going on, what you got.
278
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,497
Okay, let's see them.
279
00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:44,378
All right. But
before I do that
280
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,759
America and I
still want to know
281
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,382
what was going on
in your mind
282
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,932
that day you told me
that you was going to move out
283
00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:51,902
and you not
going to college?
284
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:54,271
I mean, I'm
still in shock.
285
00:12:54,349 --> 00:12:56,429
Help us all out.
286
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:57,979
(sighs)
287
00:13:00,772 --> 00:13:03,702
Y'all keep watching,
you hear?
288
00:13:10,147 --> 00:13:11,617
(Bernie chuckling)
289
00:13:16,153 --> 00:13:18,083
(still chuckling)
290
00:13:18,155 --> 00:13:21,085
Hold on one minute.
I want to give you something, Nessa.
291
00:13:22,493 --> 00:13:23,673
What's this?
292
00:13:23,744 --> 00:13:24,924
Um, these are your bills.
293
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,840
What are you
talking about?
294
00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:28,594
Well, Nessa,
I was figuring.
295
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,300
Since you're all
grown up now,
296
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,626
and you're making
lots of money,
297
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,431
you can start paying
part of your bills.
298
00:13:33,504 --> 00:13:35,894
You know, get a taste
of the real world.
299
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:38,305
You know, carrying
your own weight, so to speak.
300
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:41,244
You still got to pay
your own rent. (laughs meanly)
301
00:13:41,312 --> 00:13:43,352
Now tell me you don't
want to go to college.
302
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,271
(laughs)
303
00:13:45,349 --> 00:13:46,939
You have a good one.
304
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:48,442
You're...
You're a good one.
305
00:13:48,519 --> 00:13:50,449
She's a good one.
306
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,780
(door closes)
307
00:13:51,856 --> 00:13:53,486
(continues laughing)
308
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:57,236
(Jean Knight:
"Mr. Big Stuff")
309
00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,450
♪ Oh yeah ♪
310
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:04,965
♪ Oh, Mr. Big Stuff ♪
311
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:07,634
♪ Who do you think you are ♪
312
00:14:07,705 --> 00:14:09,965
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
313
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,599
♪ You're never gonnabreak my heart ♪
314
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:15,597
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
315
00:14:15,671 --> 00:14:17,811
♪ You're never gonnamake me cry ♪
316
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:20,226
♪ Mr. Big Stuff, tell me ♪
317
00:14:20,310 --> 00:14:22,850
♪ Just who do youthink you are? ♪
318
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:25,863
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
319
00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:28,400
♪ You're never gonnaget my love ♪
320
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:31,156
♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪
321
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:34,237
♪ You're never gonnabreak my heart,Mr. Big Stuff ♪
322
00:14:34,315 --> 00:14:37,485
BERNIE:
Hey, Jordan! Come on, man. Time to come in!
323
00:14:37,568 --> 00:14:39,288
BOY: Perfect shot!
324
00:14:39,370 --> 00:14:41,580
JORDAN:
In a minute. BOY: Cool!
325
00:14:41,656 --> 00:14:43,656
You heard him. Right, America?
326
00:14:43,741 --> 00:14:46,631
I mean, the boy lost
his rabbit-ass mind.
327
00:14:46,702 --> 00:14:48,002
"In a minute!"
328
00:14:48,079 --> 00:14:50,759
You heard him. "In a minute!"
329
00:14:50,831 --> 00:14:52,721
Y'all got to see this.
330
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,512
He going to square up
like straw.
331
00:14:55,586 --> 00:15:00,426
(exasperated chuckling)
332
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:02,518
(grunting and panting)
333
00:15:02,593 --> 00:15:05,853
Hey, Jordan, man! Didn't you
hear me tell you to come in?
334
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:08,024
I said I'm coming,
Uncle Bernie. Just one more shot.
335
00:15:08,099 --> 00:15:10,359
BERNIE: No, no.
Wait, wait, wait. Ain't no last shot.
336
00:15:10,434 --> 00:15:13,194
No more shots.
When I say come in, come in.
337
00:15:13,270 --> 00:15:15,280
Now, put the ball down
and come in.
338
00:15:15,356 --> 00:15:17,916
(ball bounces)
339
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:21,042
Jordan, don't shoot that ball.
340
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:23,366
J, I'm telling you, dude,
don't shoot that ball.
341
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,251
I pity the fool.
342
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:27,884
Don't...
Run! Let's get out of here!
343
00:15:29,203 --> 00:15:32,003
-Excuse me. Is this
the McCullough residence? -Yeah.
344
00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:33,681
Supposed to install
a new line and a cable box.
345
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,758
Ain't no cable box here.
You got the wrong house.
346
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,385
Uh... no. There's
the address.
347
00:15:38,462 --> 00:15:39,642
Box is going
to be registered
348
00:15:39,714 --> 00:15:41,194
to Vanessa Tompkins.
349
00:15:41,265 --> 00:15:43,465
No, she ain't here, man.
Is she here?
350
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:46,641
So take your box and your order
and get back to your truck, man.
351
00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:48,071
Ain't nobody
getting no box up in here!
352
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,807
And I'll deal with you later.
353
00:15:49,890 --> 00:15:51,410
Oh, you believe that.
354
00:15:55,613 --> 00:16:00,743
(woman singing ballad
indistinctly)
355
00:16:00,818 --> 00:16:04,198
Nessa. Get your stuff.
You're quitting. What?
356
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,750
You quit. We're going home.
I ain't got time to play with you.
357
00:16:06,824 --> 00:16:08,924
Let's go, now.
Excuse me, sir. Can I help you?
358
00:16:08,993 --> 00:16:11,133
No, you cannot help me.
It has nothing to do with you.
359
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:12,753
Taking my niece,
we're going home.
360
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:13,840
You'll have
to hire somebody else.
361
00:16:13,914 --> 00:16:15,424
You can't
make me quit.
362
00:16:15,499 --> 00:16:16,919
No, I can't make you quit.
363
00:16:17,001 --> 00:16:19,141
But I can report him
for hiring a minor
364
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,101
and letting her work overtime,
am I right?
365
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,560
'Cause that is
what you're doing. Am I right?
366
00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:24,771
(chuckles)
Get your stuff.
367
00:16:25,843 --> 00:16:28,103
Come on.
You know, there's no reason for this
368
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,813
to go beyond
the two of us.
369
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,609
If you'd like some
gift certificates,
370
00:16:31,682 --> 00:16:34,282
call me anytime.
371
00:16:34,351 --> 00:16:36,331
Yeah. Come on.
372
00:16:44,361 --> 00:16:47,621
So you made a little world
for yourself, huh, Nessa?
373
00:16:47,698 --> 00:16:49,968
(scoffs)
I paid for it, so why not?
374
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:53,960
Girl, when you going
to stop being afraid?
375
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,672
I'm not afraid
of anything.
376
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,268
Oh, yes, you are.
377
00:16:57,341 --> 00:17:00,551
You just can't see it
like I can.
378
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:03,388
See, all this stuff here
is fear.
379
00:17:03,464 --> 00:17:04,974
See, you want
to surround yourself
380
00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:07,019
with all these pretty things
to take your mind off the fact
381
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,147
that you're not doing
what you need to be doing.
382
00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:11,557
Well, what
about this house?
383
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,019
You have nice things.
384
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:15,319
Are you afraid
of something?
385
00:17:15,392 --> 00:17:17,032
Girl, I sure am.
386
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,577
See, I'm afraid
I might lose my patience
387
00:17:19,655 --> 00:17:21,455
if you don't lose your tone.
388
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,167
Nessa, you just think
about what I just said.
389
00:17:26,737 --> 00:17:28,457
And you know I'm right.
390
00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:31,115
You know I'm right.
391
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:36,600
That's real nice. Real nice.
392
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:48,109
Oh, this phone
is not people-friendly.
393
00:17:50,094 --> 00:17:51,854
Aunt Wanda?
Yeah?
394
00:17:51,929 --> 00:17:54,069
What's so great
about college?
395
00:17:55,733 --> 00:17:57,863
(clears throat)
396
00:17:57,935 --> 00:18:02,565
Well, sweetie, college
is what you make it.
397
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:07,078
You know, it's a time
to explore some things that you could be,
398
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,623
and to discover some
things about yourself you didn't know.
399
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:13,037
(scoffs) How long have you
been rehearsing that answer?
400
00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:16,917
Since you skipped
the first prep class.
401
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:20,966
But, now that I've
said that out loud, I can tell you the truth.
402
00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:25,261
College is a place where
you can sharpen your mind,
403
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:28,057
and you can gain skills
that can make you, oh,
404
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:30,526
so unstoppable in this world.
405
00:18:31,969 --> 00:18:34,229
You're already
so smart.
406
00:18:34,305 --> 00:18:37,105
That sounds like
the first answer.
407
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:38,573
Yeah.
408
00:18:38,642 --> 00:18:40,342
But I mean it.
409
00:18:41,529 --> 00:18:44,909
Yeah, well, Uncle Bernie thinks
I'm afraid of something.
410
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,579
Your uncle's a smart man,
411
00:18:48,652 --> 00:18:50,292
and he said some things
412
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:53,462
that felt real to you,
didn't he?
413
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,092
So you think
he's right?
414
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,668
Mm... yeah.
415
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,429
And so do you.
416
00:19:00,831 --> 00:19:02,881
Forgive me, America,
417
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:05,428
but when your wife
drops some pearls of wisdom,
418
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:08,046
and has your back
at the same time,
419
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:09,930
that's good loving.
420
00:19:10,007 --> 00:19:12,677
Bernie Mac is in a house
full of love.
421
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,700
(laughs)
Real love.
422
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:18,567
How you doing, J?
423
00:19:18,649 --> 00:19:21,439
(grunts)
Hold on.
424
00:19:21,518 --> 00:19:22,858
Got to get that burn.
425
00:19:22,937 --> 00:19:24,447
You remember,
don't you, Uncle Bernie?
426
00:19:24,521 --> 00:19:26,411
Shoot. Think I don't?
427
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:28,572
You know what
else I remember? What?
428
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,905
Playing basketball,
baseball and football.
429
00:19:30,986 --> 00:19:32,856
I was really good
in those sports.
430
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:35,409
But what really was my sport
you know what that was? What?
431
00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:37,371
Boxing. Here.
432
00:19:37,451 --> 00:19:39,431
You know, J,
there come a time
433
00:19:39,503 --> 00:19:41,633
in a man's life
when he-- put them on.
434
00:19:41,705 --> 00:19:42,955
Go ahead,
put them on.
435
00:19:43,032 --> 00:19:44,102
When a man
want to pass down what he knows
436
00:19:44,175 --> 00:19:46,715
to his son or his
nephew. You know?
437
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,264
I don't know, Uncle Bernie.
438
00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:50,047
Sure, you know.
You been walking around here
439
00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:51,500
like a man,
haven't you?
440
00:19:51,574 --> 00:19:53,144
I mean, but doesn't
your back still hurt?
441
00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:54,637
No. My back fine.
442
00:19:54,718 --> 00:19:55,848
Come on, stand up.
443
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,598
I'll show you
some move.
444
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,690
All right, all right.
The first thing you do,
445
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,069
let me see
how you stand.
446
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,825
Put your hands
up like this.
447
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,152
Keep your head
behind the glove, okay?
448
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,652
Kneel down a little
bit, okay?
449
00:20:05,729 --> 00:20:06,949
(creak of camera turning)
450
00:20:07,022 --> 00:20:08,162
All right!
(punching noise)
451
00:20:08,232 --> 00:20:11,082
JORDAN:
Ow! (gasping)
452
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,445
Man, your defense
is weak, dude. Real weak.
453
00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:15,789
I'll have to show
you some moves. (gasping)
454
00:20:15,864 --> 00:20:17,874
What?
455
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:21,090
(gasping)
I'm cool, Uncle Bernie.
456
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,495
So that's how
I restored balance, America.
457
00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:26,880
The boy's growing up,
but he knows his place.
458
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:28,589
And Nessa?
459
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:31,523
Well, let's see.
460
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,257
Come on in, Nessa.
461
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:35,850
I'm gonna open them up now.
462
00:20:35,926 --> 00:20:37,096
For real this time?
463
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,811
Are you still afraid?
464
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:40,557
(laughs)
Yeah, I am.
465
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,443
But...?
466
00:20:42,516 --> 00:20:44,066
But I'm not going
to let that stop me.
467
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:46,693
All right.
468
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:47,950
Here.
469
00:20:48,022 --> 00:20:49,792
(breathes deeply)
470
00:21:00,617 --> 00:21:03,587
(piano playing)
471
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,252
SINGER:♪ Oh, I feel better now ♪
472
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:07,011
Excuse us, America.
473
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,166
Nessa feels a little
vulnerable right now.
474
00:21:09,251 --> 00:21:10,721
Cut the camera off.
475
00:21:10,794 --> 00:21:14,264
♪ That we've sat downand talked things over ♪
476
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:16,070
I'm... I'm really...
I'm proud.
477
00:21:17,968 --> 00:21:19,698
♪ And the worried feeling... ♪
478
00:21:23,307 --> 00:21:26,727
What the...?
This is some bull.
479
00:21:26,810 --> 00:21:30,530
(laughter)
480
00:21:30,606 --> 00:21:33,696
Y'all some dirty moles.
Y'all some dirty moles.
481
00:21:33,776 --> 00:21:37,236
(all laughing)
482
00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:40,405
Yeah. Right on.
Right on. Right on.
483
00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:43,205
(all laughing)
484
00:21:43,285 --> 00:21:45,035
All right, all right.
485
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,210
My mind's been
wandering, all right?
486
00:21:47,289 --> 00:21:48,759
You said Patty
want one more.
487
00:21:48,832 --> 00:21:51,642
I said, "What the heck
Patty want one more for?"
488
00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:57,645
Captioned by Visual Data
489
00:21:57,695 --> 00:22:02,245
Repair and Synchronization by
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