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1
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:05,633
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:24,059
Baby, you look good today.
3
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,146
Drop a little bit for me.
4
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:26,975
Sorry, honey,
I can't got to go.
5
00:00:27,052 --> 00:00:29,402
Not even a little one?
No, honey, I can't.
6
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,370
And you know what?
7
00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:31,561
Bryana doesn't like peaches.
8
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,120
Bye.
9
00:00:34,109 --> 00:00:36,109
Baby Girl doesn't like peaches.
10
00:00:36,186 --> 00:00:38,646
She knows everything
about Baby Girl.
11
00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:40,034
What about me?
12
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:41,067
Bernie Mac would like a little
13
00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:43,199
hot drop in the morning.
14
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:46,156
But see, this is what happens
when you got kids.
15
00:00:46,238 --> 00:00:48,908
Grown folks can't play
like they used to.
16
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,294
Shoot, I should have
seen it coming.
17
00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:52,828
Let me show y'all something.
18
00:00:52,911 --> 00:00:54,141
Dig this.
19
00:01:01,419 --> 00:01:02,389
Mmm.
20
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:03,692
Mmm.
21
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:04,644
Mmm.
22
00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:06,864
Mmm.
23
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:09,284
Mmm.
Mmm, yeah.
24
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,061
Mm.
25
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,149
(snores)
26
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:16,084
(smacks teeth)
27
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,358
(sighs)
28
00:01:20,438 --> 00:01:21,568
(kisses)
29
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,528
See what I mean?
30
00:01:23,608 --> 00:01:26,908
We're tired
all the time, America.
31
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:28,577
That ain't us.
32
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,245
Never has been.
33
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:33,083
We need to mix it up
a little bit.
34
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,720
I mean, get us some excitement.
35
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:36,626
You know?
36
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,262
Baby, I got reservations
37
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,593
for the Hot Springs.
38
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:42,428
Just me and you.
39
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,892
Nessa gonna watch the kids.
40
00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:45,801
Me and you, baby.
Ooh, fun.
41
00:01:45,881 --> 00:01:47,761
When is it?
Saturday.
42
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,601
Oh, honey, we can't.
43
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,980
Well, why?
44
00:01:51,061 --> 00:01:52,771
'Cause, honey,
we have plans Saturday night,
45
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:53,736
remember?
46
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,494
You promised.
47
00:02:09,154 --> 00:02:11,044
This ain't healthy, America!
48
00:02:11,114 --> 00:02:12,464
For either of us!
49
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,712
A man needs some alone time
50
00:02:14,784 --> 00:02:15,924
with his wife.
51
00:02:15,994 --> 00:02:17,594
I'm being deprived.
52
00:02:17,662 --> 00:02:19,882
I want a hot drop.
53
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,416
What?
54
00:02:21,499 --> 00:02:23,269
I don't care, it's natural.
55
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,343
How you think you got here?
56
00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:26,850
(upbeat music playing)
57
00:02:26,922 --> 00:02:29,152
♪ I want candy ♪
58
00:02:31,176 --> 00:02:33,566
♪ I want candy ♪
59
00:02:35,513 --> 00:02:37,823
♪ I want candy ♪
60
00:02:40,018 --> 00:02:42,198
♪ I want candy ♪
61
00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,319
Look what I have.
62
00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:47,157
Hot chocolate chip cookies.
63
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,664
I'm allergic to chocolate
64
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:49,565
and most sweet things.
65
00:02:49,645 --> 00:02:51,745
Well, now, that's why I got you
66
00:02:51,821 --> 00:02:54,161
an organic oatmeal bar.
67
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:55,535
Thanks, Mrs. Mac.
68
00:02:55,617 --> 00:02:57,037
You're welcome.
69
00:02:57,118 --> 00:02:59,338
♪ I want candy ♪
70
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,671
Your mom is pretty.
71
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:03,298
She's not my mom,
she's my aunt.
72
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:04,505
Where's your mom?
73
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,264
She's sick.
GIRL: What's she got?
74
00:03:06,336 --> 00:03:08,346
I bet I've had it before.
75
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:15,755
You seem tired.
76
00:03:15,838 --> 00:03:18,438
Ooh, God, that was
three hours ago.
77
00:03:18,449 --> 00:03:20,649
BRYANA:
Aunt Wanda!
78
00:03:20,725 --> 00:03:22,355
(whimpers)
79
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:24,865
Damn, I thought
I covered everything.
80
00:03:26,147 --> 00:03:28,537
Oh, move,
move, Bernie, move.
81
00:03:29,693 --> 00:03:30,783
See?
82
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,960
It's affecting Wanda, too.
83
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,288
She never snaps at me!
84
00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:38,285
But, it don't phase me.
85
00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,138
Because I know what's up.
86
00:03:40,212 --> 00:03:42,382
If you don't spend
regular time together,
87
00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:44,965
your rhythm gets off--
that's all.
88
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,255
Wanda needs a little rhythm.
89
00:03:47,335 --> 00:03:49,005
You know what I mean?
90
00:03:49,087 --> 00:03:50,387
A little caressing,
91
00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,063
a little...
on her little neck
92
00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:53,562
around here, around here,
93
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:54,983
You know, that kind of thing.
94
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,095
I can't show you all my moves.
95
00:03:56,177 --> 00:03:57,397
Oh, boy.
96
00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,475
Mmm.
Ooh, honey, please.
97
00:04:01,558 --> 00:04:03,068
(spits)
98
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,113
Come on, baby.
99
00:04:05,186 --> 00:04:06,236
Honey...
100
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,573
there's kids
in the house.
101
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:11,037
There's always kids
in the house.
102
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,158
Well, I'm exhausted.
103
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,380
I'm gonna take a shower,
104
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,915
and I'm going to bed.
105
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:25,791
(upbeat music playing)
106
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:29,726
SINGER: ♪ I beenreally tryin', baby ♪
107
00:04:31,463 --> 00:04:34,143
♪ Tryin' to hold backthis feelin' ♪
108
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:37,269
♪ For so long ♪
109
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,894
♪ And if you feel ♪
110
00:04:39,971 --> 00:04:42,361
♪ Like I do, baby ♪
111
00:04:42,432 --> 00:04:44,022
♪ Then come on... ♪
112
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,824
BERNIE: Good morning, baby.
113
00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:47,108
Good morning.
114
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,317
Can I help you with something?
115
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,910
Uh, no, it'd be
a good morning
116
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,530
if you just slept in.
117
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:54,122
But I just made
breakfast for five kids.
118
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:56,244
Yeah, I see.
119
00:04:56,321 --> 00:04:58,551
Hey...
120
00:04:58,623 --> 00:05:01,923
Was a good night
last night, wasn't it?
121
00:05:01,993 --> 00:05:04,173
(laughs)
122
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,129
Uh-uh.
123
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,875
America...
124
00:05:06,956 --> 00:05:08,256
what happened?
125
00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:11,133
I thought I hit
the joy button last night,
126
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,181
but she's still stuck on funk.
127
00:05:13,254 --> 00:05:15,474
Giving me a, "Mm-hmm."
128
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:17,428
I put down last night.
129
00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,983
We shared
a religious experience.
130
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,533
I usually get...
131
00:05:23,014 --> 00:05:25,404
(chuckles)
(choir singing)
132
00:05:25,475 --> 00:05:27,025
Yeah, anyway.
133
00:05:27,102 --> 00:05:28,822
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
134
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,565
Bernie Mac...
135
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,821
he will make his woman happy.
136
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,279
America, I will
137
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,870
make my woman happy.
138
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:43,668
Ladies of America,
139
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:46,753
see, Bernie Mac
begs your forgiveness.
140
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,210
See, I was acting like a man,
141
00:05:48,289 --> 00:05:50,919
trying to solve
a problem with sex.
142
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,250
What's bothering Wanda
143
00:05:52,327 --> 00:05:54,477
is not an issue of the flesh.
144
00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:57,183
It's the kids.
145
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,717
They're everywhere.
146
00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:02,274
And we added two more
last night.
147
00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:03,975
She needs a break.
148
00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:07,699
And Bernie Mac's
gonna make sure she gets one.
149
00:06:09,319 --> 00:06:10,239
Hey, hey, hey.
150
00:06:10,311 --> 00:06:12,121
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
151
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,607
Hold on, baby.
What, honey?
152
00:06:14,691 --> 00:06:16,371
I want you to listen up.
153
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,123
I'm taking you to lunch.
154
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:20,294
To your favorite restaurant.
155
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,617
Just you, me,
156
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,289
and a bottle of Dom.
157
00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:27,127
Well...
158
00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:28,503
Wow.
159
00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:30,014
What's the occasion?
160
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,050
Does a man need an occasion
to take his wife out?
161
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,176
Huh?
162
00:06:34,252 --> 00:06:35,722
You tell your boss
163
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,465
that your husband said
you gonna be late.
164
00:06:38,548 --> 00:06:41,138
I mean, like real late.
165
00:06:41,217 --> 00:06:43,347
Like tomorrow late.
166
00:06:43,428 --> 00:06:44,518
(chuckles)
167
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,280
Well, you're on.
Okay?
168
00:06:46,356 --> 00:06:47,396
I will tell my boss
169
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:49,194
what my husband said.
170
00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:51,401
You owe it to yourself.
171
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:52,288
See ya.
172
00:06:52,362 --> 00:06:53,952
See ya later.
173
00:06:55,190 --> 00:06:56,960
Yeah, baby.
174
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:04,919
Monstrous.
175
00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:10,519
Hey, honey.
176
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,061
Hey, I'm on my way
to come get you.
177
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,422
Shoot, I left work early.
178
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,720
I've been thinking
about this all morning.
179
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:17,012
I'm starving.
Well, let's go hit it.
180
00:07:17,086 --> 00:07:18,226
Yes.
181
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:21,899
Thanks.
182
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:23,715
You in, baby?
183
00:07:23,794 --> 00:07:25,734
Yes, thank you, honey.
184
00:07:25,803 --> 00:07:27,193
Ooh, honey, I think
I'm going to have
185
00:07:27,263 --> 00:07:29,233
the fillet of sole.
186
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,371
Ooh, and then I'm going to have
187
00:07:30,442 --> 00:07:32,532
the chocolate mousse
for dessert.
188
00:07:33,445 --> 00:07:35,105
Thank you, honey.
189
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,818
My pleasure, sweetheart.
190
00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:38,822
Hey, honey,
what's this in the box?
191
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:41,330
Oh, that's my
Goodwill box.
192
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,656
Is this Bryana's jacket?
193
00:07:42,737 --> 00:07:44,087
No, that's Jordan's.
194
00:07:45,573 --> 00:07:47,213
Wow, so tiny.
195
00:07:47,283 --> 00:07:49,713
Yeah. You can still see
the blood stain on it
196
00:07:49,786 --> 00:07:52,746
when he fell out the tree
playing Spider-Man.
197
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,224
My God, have they grown.
198
00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:57,131
Four years.
199
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,220
Wow.
200
00:07:59,295 --> 00:08:00,175
Four years.
201
00:08:00,255 --> 00:08:01,555
(engine starts)
202
00:08:11,307 --> 00:08:12,477
That is good, yeah.
203
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:14,113
Wow, I can't believe it.
204
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,359
What?
205
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,610
Four years.
206
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:19,783
Four years,
and Bryana is twice the age
207
00:08:19,857 --> 00:08:20,817
she was when she first...
208
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:24,410
Oh, Wanda, come on, now.
209
00:08:24,487 --> 00:08:26,617
This is a kid-free
zone, now. Okay.
210
00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:27,952
This is our date.
211
00:08:28,025 --> 00:08:30,375
We ain't talking
about no kids tonight.
212
00:08:30,451 --> 00:08:32,011
All right?
213
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,457
Ooh, honey, remember when they
locked you out the house?
214
00:08:33,538 --> 00:08:35,458
(laughs)
215
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:37,220
Wanda...
216
00:08:37,292 --> 00:08:38,232
Come on, please.
217
00:08:39,836 --> 00:08:41,256
Honey, it was funny.
218
00:08:41,337 --> 00:08:43,097
They didn't lock me out,
219
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:44,762
and it wasn't funny.
220
00:08:44,841 --> 00:08:47,481
They did lock you...
Shut...
221
00:08:47,552 --> 00:08:49,282
Honey, remember when
I took the kids to work?
222
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:52,440
Can I have more wine
over here, please?
223
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:53,899
Sir, may I have some wine?
224
00:08:53,975 --> 00:08:55,605
Uh, my man,
WAITER: Yes, sir?
225
00:08:55,685 --> 00:08:56,775
can you please...
226
00:08:56,853 --> 00:08:57,953
can we have
some more wine?
227
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,277
Vanessa, can I
ask you something?
228
00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:04,659
No.
229
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,170
Do you look like Mom?
230
00:09:07,697 --> 00:09:08,957
Why do you ask?
231
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,970
Aunt Wanda said
she was pretty.
232
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,384
(chuckles)
233
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,465
What is that?
234
00:09:16,548 --> 00:09:18,298
Oh, yeah, baby.
235
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:21,218
Thank you, honey.
Uh-uh, come here, come here, come here.
236
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,944
We ain't done.
237
00:09:23,013 --> 00:09:24,973
You and I are not
done, sweetheart.
238
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,892
Oh, we're not?
No, ma'am.
239
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,686
I'm about to go
in the kitchen
240
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:31,558
and make you and I
a pitcher of mojitos. Mmm.
241
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,698
Then I'm gonna go
in the bathroom
242
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:36,363
and run us some
hot bath water
243
00:09:36,434 --> 00:09:38,654
with bubbles in it.
244
00:09:38,728 --> 00:09:41,148
Oh, that sound nice.
245
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,880
Don't it?
Mm-hmm.
246
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,157
Well, you know what?
I've got an idea, too. What you got, baby?
247
00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:47,624
You wait an extra
few minutes for me...
248
00:09:47,695 --> 00:09:49,695
Mmm.
...while I make my entrance?
249
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:52,325
Mm-hmm.
Mm-kay?
250
00:09:52,408 --> 00:09:53,458
Don't let me
wait too long.
251
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,458
I won't.
252
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,930
Not after today.
253
00:09:58,289 --> 00:10:00,099
You remember that one?
254
00:10:02,418 --> 00:10:03,718
What are you guys doing?
255
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:06,219
We're looking at
pictures of our mom.
256
00:10:06,297 --> 00:10:07,427
Oh.
257
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,357
There's not
a lot of pictures.
258
00:10:16,974 --> 00:10:18,824
You see that, America?
259
00:10:18,893 --> 00:10:21,873
She's out there telling
the kids to leave us alone.
260
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,620
Mojitos.
261
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:28,202
Oh, yeah.
262
00:10:28,277 --> 00:10:29,617
JUDY (over phone):Yes, this is Judy.
263
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:32,036
Yes, I'm Wanda Mac.
I'm her sister-in-law.
264
00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:33,409
JUDY (over phone):Stacy's not here anymore.
265
00:10:33,483 --> 00:10:36,053
Okay, can you give me
the last address you have?
266
00:10:36,127 --> 00:10:37,177
BERNIE: Wanda!
267
00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:38,473
Just a minute!
268
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:49,597
Okay, well, can I have
269
00:10:49,674 --> 00:10:50,724
that pager number, please?
270
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,270
WOMAN (over phone): 555-4973.
271
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,727
Okay, the area code?
272
00:10:53,803 --> 00:10:54,693
WOMAN (over phone):201 in Atlantic City.
273
00:10:54,762 --> 00:10:56,232
Atlantic City?
274
00:10:56,305 --> 00:10:58,185
WOMAN (over phone):Yes, ma'am, Atlantic City.
275
00:10:58,266 --> 00:10:59,236
(sighs)
276
00:11:00,977 --> 00:11:02,687
SINGER: ♪ What'sthe matter with you...? ♪
277
00:11:02,770 --> 00:11:04,160
Wanda!
278
00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:08,200
SINGER: ♪ Hold me ♪
279
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:10,486
♪ Tight... ♪
280
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,300
Two plus two is four.
281
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,251
SINGER: ♪ Stylin' ♪
282
00:11:18,327 --> 00:11:20,747
♪ Smilin' ♪
283
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,590
♪ Comes as no surprise... ♪
284
00:11:22,665 --> 00:11:24,055
Hello?
Is this Pumpkin?
285
00:11:24,134 --> 00:11:25,434
PUMPKIN (over phone):Yeah, who's this?
286
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,840
Yeah, this is Wanda,
Stacy's sister-in-law.
287
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,060
PUMPKIN (over phone):Stacy ain't here right now.
288
00:11:29,139 --> 00:11:30,059
Could you tell her
I'm trying to get
289
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:31,190
in touch with her, please?
290
00:11:31,266 --> 00:11:32,516
PUMPKIN (over phone):Yeah, sure.
291
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:33,782
Thank you.
292
00:11:39,015 --> 00:11:41,975
Bernie?
Mmm?
293
00:11:42,059 --> 00:11:43,649
Hmm?
294
00:11:43,728 --> 00:11:46,448
Honey?
Hey, baby.
295
00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:47,952
Oh, honey.
I thought you said
296
00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:50,244
you were gonna
come in and...
297
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,158
and join me.
298
00:11:52,236 --> 00:11:52,986
Uh, I am.
299
00:11:53,063 --> 00:11:54,293
I've been waiting on you.
300
00:11:54,363 --> 00:11:57,213
I've been waiting
on you all night.
301
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,133
I've been waiting
on you all night.
302
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:01,496
You said you
going to come in...
303
00:12:01,579 --> 00:12:02,629
Baby. Shh.
304
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,129
Shh-shh. Just go back to sleep.
305
00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:07,177
I'm going to get you
a water and some aspirin.
306
00:12:07,251 --> 00:12:08,681
(mimics gulping)
307
00:12:08,753 --> 00:12:10,013
'Merica...
308
00:12:10,087 --> 00:12:13,767
I mean Ladies of America...
309
00:12:13,841 --> 00:12:15,401
I'm sick of ya'll.
310
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:17,766
You're just too damn hard
311
00:12:17,845 --> 00:12:19,565
to get along with.
312
00:12:21,057 --> 00:12:23,607
I put the hammer down.
313
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,238
I try to be romantic...
314
00:12:26,604 --> 00:12:27,834
but it don't work.
315
00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:30,660
Nothing works.
316
00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,913
I'm just tired now.
317
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:35,205
So go ahead
and let me get some rest.
318
00:12:36,572 --> 00:12:37,592
Okay?
319
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,751
That's it, America.
320
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:46,631
Bernie Mac has done his best.
321
00:12:46,707 --> 00:12:47,837
You saw me.
322
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:50,427
I tried to satisfy her.
323
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,513
Physical and emotional.
324
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,392
There ain't nothing left
for me to do.
325
00:12:54,465 --> 00:12:56,135
I mean, nothing good.
326
00:12:56,217 --> 00:12:58,597
The only thing
I haven't done, America,
327
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,148
is buy her something.
328
00:13:01,430 --> 00:13:02,310
Hey, folks.
329
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:03,900
Hey, man.
I'm Norman.
330
00:13:03,975 --> 00:13:04,815
What are you
looking for today--
331
00:13:04,901 --> 00:13:07,281
a sports car,
sedan, SUV?
332
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:08,853
Sports car.
SUV.
333
00:13:08,930 --> 00:13:11,410
Well, these cars
are like boxes of chocolate.
334
00:13:11,482 --> 00:13:12,492
They're all sweet.
335
00:13:12,567 --> 00:13:15,117
Come over here,
look at this.
336
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:16,494
Huh?
337
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:17,995
WANDA: Oh.
338
00:13:18,072 --> 00:13:20,292
So, Mommy stopped letting
the super fix things,
339
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,496
you know, after dark.
340
00:13:21,576 --> 00:13:22,666
So, the heat got cut off.
341
00:13:22,743 --> 00:13:24,173
Wasn't it cold?
JORDAN: Mm-hmm,
342
00:13:24,245 --> 00:13:26,045
but Mommy let us sleep
in front of the oven.
343
00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,666
And then she put all
these plants in the kitchen,
344
00:13:28,749 --> 00:13:31,089
and we pretended
we were camping in the woods.
345
00:13:31,168 --> 00:13:32,838
She was funnier
than Uncle Bernie.
346
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,014
How did she get
the heat back on?
347
00:13:35,089 --> 00:13:36,199
JORDAN:
Well, your dad went
348
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:38,063
and kicked the
superintendent's butt.
349
00:13:38,134 --> 00:13:39,814
And then we had
the hottest apartment
350
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,320
in the whole building.
351
00:13:41,396 --> 00:13:42,896
Until we got evicted.
352
00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:44,522
What are you guys
talking about?
353
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:45,663
Mommy.
354
00:13:45,733 --> 00:13:48,033
Come in the kitchen,
and I'll make you lunch.
355
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:54,070
Hey, she doesn't
need to be hearing all that stuff.
356
00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:55,370
She asked me.
357
00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:56,463
You're not the boss of me.
358
00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:04,667
Listen, I've been
dealing with Stacy
359
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,794
all my entire life.
360
00:14:06,871 --> 00:14:08,181
I know Stacy,
361
00:14:08,256 --> 00:14:11,546
and if she's in Jersey,
I think that's great.
362
00:14:11,626 --> 00:14:14,886
And besides,
we got this, you and I.
363
00:14:14,962 --> 00:14:17,562
Baby Girl, she needs us.
364
00:14:17,632 --> 00:14:19,562
Fine, whatever you say.
365
00:14:19,634 --> 00:14:22,644
Thank you,
and I appreciate it.
366
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,490
No, you know what?
It's not fine.
367
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,734
Oh...
368
00:14:25,806 --> 00:14:27,766
This isn't working
for me at all.
369
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,530
Because you know what?
You're right.
370
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:30,902
Bryana does count
on you and me.
371
00:14:30,978 --> 00:14:33,148
All three of the kids do.
372
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,570
But for how long?
373
00:14:35,650 --> 00:14:36,820
Come on, Bernie,
think about it.
374
00:14:36,901 --> 00:14:38,701
Four years ago,
375
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:41,448
we said we would take
your sister's kids in
376
00:14:41,530 --> 00:14:42,660
until she got better.
377
00:14:42,740 --> 00:14:44,580
And I appreciate it.
378
00:14:44,659 --> 00:14:46,919
It's four years now.
379
00:14:46,994 --> 00:14:48,424
I'm looking at
jackets thinking
380
00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:49,876
they're a year old.
381
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:52,046
But they're not.
382
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:54,014
And we are raising
three kids--
383
00:14:54,085 --> 00:14:56,895
you and me
and nobody else.
384
00:14:58,523 --> 00:14:59,443
NORMAN: So...
385
00:15:00,841 --> 00:15:02,021
how are we doing in here?
386
00:15:02,093 --> 00:15:03,643
Scared the hell out of me,
I know that.
387
00:15:03,719 --> 00:15:05,599
Well, you can go ahead
and move the seats back.
388
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:06,600
There's plenty of room.
389
00:15:06,681 --> 00:15:08,611
It's like a living room in here.
390
00:15:08,683 --> 00:15:10,613
Fold-down arm rests,
climate control,
391
00:15:10,685 --> 00:15:12,025
DVD for the kids.
392
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,027
It's a great family car.
393
00:15:14,105 --> 00:15:16,865
Our boys in Wisconsin,
they don't miss a beat.
394
00:15:18,275 --> 00:15:22,155
America, I don't think
I've ever been more happier
395
00:15:22,238 --> 00:15:25,118
to see a car salesman
in my life.
396
00:15:25,199 --> 00:15:26,999
I mean, did you hear her?
397
00:15:27,076 --> 00:15:30,376
She was just talking
for a good strong minute.
398
00:15:30,454 --> 00:15:33,424
I mean, I'm surprised she's
still got breath in her body.
399
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:36,679
And what am I supposed
to say after all of that?
400
00:15:36,752 --> 00:15:37,802
Nothing.
401
00:15:37,878 --> 00:15:38,928
Wanda, what do you want?
402
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,135
I want to adopt the kids.
403
00:15:40,214 --> 00:15:41,014
What?!
404
00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:42,070
Well, these rear seats
405
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,021
come with car anchors
for car seats.
406
00:15:44,093 --> 00:15:45,563
And with the split back design,
407
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:49,150
it's a beautiful, I mean,
a beautiful way you can...
408
00:15:49,223 --> 00:15:50,663
Yeah?
409
00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:52,403
You think you could show
us the hood?
410
00:15:52,476 --> 00:15:55,826
With pleasure.
It is my favorite part. Come on.
411
00:15:57,773 --> 00:15:59,823
That's pretty clever.
412
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,190
Uh...
413
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:04,578
You know, you just
locked yourself in.
414
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,969
No, we just
locked you out.
415
00:16:09,618 --> 00:16:11,628
Jordan said
we were put out.
416
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,674
Forget what
Jordan says.
417
00:16:13,748 --> 00:16:15,218
Jordan speaks the truth.
418
00:16:15,299 --> 00:16:16,519
Shut up, Jordan.
419
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,770
You know what,
I'm one growth spurt away
420
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,004
from your last "shut up."
421
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,139
Well, until that day
comes, shut up.
422
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,853
Oh...
BRYANA: Vanessa,
423
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,017
did Mom used to call you Choc?
424
00:16:26,177 --> 00:16:28,987
Yeah. Short for
"Chocolate Drop."
425
00:16:30,514 --> 00:16:32,204
Uh-uh.
(groans)
426
00:16:34,110 --> 00:16:35,900
I don't know,
sweetheart.
427
00:16:35,978 --> 00:16:38,148
I think that'd be
a betrayal to Stacy.
428
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,320
I mean, she's still
their mother.
429
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,499
Okay. Well, let me say
this one last thing, okay?
430
00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:43,827
Okay.
431
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:46,333
Stacy doesn't love
those kids enough
432
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:50,115
to have gotten herself
together for their sake.
433
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:51,875
Okay.
Hasn't she already betrayed them?
434
00:16:51,952 --> 00:16:53,592
Okay, all right,
I understand that.
435
00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:55,962
I'll tell you what.
436
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,420
Let's go home and let's talk
about it with the kids.
437
00:16:58,501 --> 00:17:00,011
How about that?
438
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,926
So, we're going
to talk about it?
439
00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:03,394
As a family.
440
00:17:03,464 --> 00:17:04,894
Well, America,
441
00:17:04,965 --> 00:17:07,925
I finally found out
what's wrong with Wanda.
442
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:11,440
And I should be happy
to know it's not sex.
443
00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:12,914
But I'm confused.
444
00:17:12,982 --> 00:17:14,692
Bernie Mac is stumped.
445
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:18,237
America, 'cause, I just want
to do the right thing.
446
00:17:18,312 --> 00:17:21,582
That's all I want to do
is the right thing.
447
00:17:31,575 --> 00:17:33,705
All right, you sure
this is the right thing
448
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,046
before we go in there?
449
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,422
Well, I feel
like I don't know
450
00:17:38,499 --> 00:17:41,799
what my place is
in these kids' lives.
451
00:17:41,877 --> 00:17:43,097
Yeah.
452
00:17:43,179 --> 00:17:44,429
I mean, I've become
attached to them,
453
00:17:44,505 --> 00:17:47,565
and if Stacy ever calls
to take them,
454
00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:49,852
it would hurt me.
455
00:17:49,927 --> 00:17:52,277
So, before you go ahead,
456
00:17:53,648 --> 00:17:56,438
you want to make sure that
your position is defined
457
00:17:56,517 --> 00:17:57,527
as a mother.
458
00:17:58,861 --> 00:18:00,121
Yeah.
459
00:18:04,608 --> 00:18:05,458
All right.
460
00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:09,405
You ready?
461
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:10,338
Okay.
462
00:18:12,199 --> 00:18:14,089
So, Mom had this friend
named Mr. Dutton
463
00:18:14,168 --> 00:18:15,918
and he used to like
to experiment.
464
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,995
One day I asked,
"Can fish get drunk?"
465
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,630
He said,
"Well, I don't know.
466
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,261
Let's find out."
467
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:24,011
So, he poured a whole thing
of vodka in the fish tank.
468
00:18:24,086 --> 00:18:25,466
We had a fish tank?
469
00:18:25,546 --> 00:18:27,136
Not after that.
470
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,418
JORDAN:
And he only had one eye,
471
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,853
so he used to wear
this eye patch.
472
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,309
And he used
to walk like this.
473
00:18:32,386 --> 00:18:33,726
He did.
474
00:18:33,804 --> 00:18:34,774
And he used to say,
475
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:35,977
"What you lookin' at,
476
00:18:36,056 --> 00:18:37,566
what you lookin' at?"
477
00:18:37,641 --> 00:18:39,151
And when Mom got
sick of him,
478
00:18:39,226 --> 00:18:40,736
she would snatch
his eye patch
479
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,490
and throw it
down the street.
480
00:18:42,563 --> 00:18:44,493
JORDAN: Mm-hmm. And he told
Vanessa to go get it,
481
00:18:44,565 --> 00:18:47,245
and Mama would say,
"Choc, don't you move."
482
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:48,906
And she said it that way
to let you know
483
00:18:48,986 --> 00:18:50,196
she was serious.
484
00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:52,339
BRYANA: I don't
remember Mom's voice.
485
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:57,132
Do you want
to talk to her?
486
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:59,513
Can we?
Yeah, we can?
487
00:19:00,789 --> 00:19:02,169
Of course.
488
00:19:02,249 --> 00:19:04,309
Jordan and I just need
to find the number.
489
00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,058
Come with me.
490
00:19:12,509 --> 00:19:14,849
Bryana, Mom's on the phone,
she wants to talk to you.
491
00:19:14,929 --> 00:19:15,779
(gasps)
492
00:19:17,598 --> 00:19:18,768
Mommy?
493
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:19,693
I'm fine.
494
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,647
How are you doing?
495
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,657
I'm glad to hear that.
496
00:19:23,738 --> 00:19:25,408
Uncle Bernie, it's Mom!
497
00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:29,254
Well, I guess Pumpkin
did come through.
498
00:19:30,945 --> 00:19:32,365
Stacy?
499
00:19:32,446 --> 00:19:36,116
Uh... No, it's me, Uncle Bernie.
500
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,760
What the hell is going on?
501
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:41,505
Bryana is really
missing our mom.
502
00:19:42,831 --> 00:19:45,131
You know, we just got
through talking about you.
503
00:19:45,209 --> 00:19:46,549
Can I talk to her?
504
00:19:46,627 --> 00:19:47,887
Hey, uh, Stace,
505
00:19:47,962 --> 00:19:50,262
uh, Wanda wants to say
something to you.
506
00:19:50,339 --> 00:19:53,179
Okay, she said
she can't talk long.
507
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:54,729
WANDA: Stacy, where are you?
508
00:19:58,931 --> 00:19:59,741
Oh.
509
00:20:01,517 --> 00:20:03,227
Okay.
510
00:20:03,310 --> 00:20:04,070
No, you know what?
511
00:20:04,144 --> 00:20:05,324
No, if you have to go,
512
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,570
hey, I understand,
you have to go.
513
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:11,242
But, um, say good-bye
to your daughter, okay?
514
00:20:11,318 --> 00:20:13,198
Okay, and you call us
when you can.
515
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,749
All right, talk to you later.
516
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,092
Hold on.
517
00:20:17,741 --> 00:20:19,721
Don't hang up now.
You have to talk to Vanessa.
518
00:20:19,794 --> 00:20:22,674
SINGER: ♪ As around the sunthe earth knows she's... ♪
519
00:20:22,746 --> 00:20:24,756
Vanessa!
520
00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:28,092
SINGER: ♪ And the rosebudsknow to bloom in early May ♪
521
00:20:28,168 --> 00:20:29,928
How you feel, Wanda?
522
00:20:30,004 --> 00:20:31,354
SINGER: ♪ Just as hateknows love's the cure ♪
523
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:32,850
Wow.
524
00:20:32,923 --> 00:20:34,473
SINGER: ♪ ...your mind assure ♪
525
00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:36,930
♪ That I'll beloving you always ♪
526
00:20:37,011 --> 00:20:39,611
You see what my baby
just did, America?
527
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:44,490
She saw Baby Girl's face
all lit up like that.
528
00:20:45,686 --> 00:20:47,186
She knew that girl
needed to believe
529
00:20:47,271 --> 00:20:49,791
that one day Stacy
would be fine.
530
00:20:51,826 --> 00:20:53,326
America,
531
00:20:53,402 --> 00:20:55,952
Wanda sacrificed
what she wanted
532
00:20:56,030 --> 00:20:57,800
for the well-being
of the children.
533
00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:02,291
And that's what any
good mother would do.
534
00:21:02,369 --> 00:21:04,749
SINGERS: ♪ Until the oceancovers every... ♪
535
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,130
America...
536
00:21:06,206 --> 00:21:07,456
SINGER: ♪ Always ♪
537
00:21:07,541 --> 00:21:08,871
I'm proud.
538
00:21:08,943 --> 00:21:11,313
SINGERS: ♪ ...and parrotslive at sea ♪
539
00:21:15,382 --> 00:21:17,192
and he used to like
to experiment.
540
00:21:17,268 --> 00:21:19,308
He would say...
I would say...
541
00:21:19,386 --> 00:21:21,806
Oh. Mom had this friend
named Mr. Dutton.
542
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:23,059
He was...
543
00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:24,820
Mom had this friend
named Mr. Dutton
544
00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:26,322
and he liked to experiment.
545
00:21:26,393 --> 00:21:29,743
And... I would ask him,
"Can fish get drunk?"
546
00:21:29,813 --> 00:21:31,493
And he would say, "Well..."
547
00:21:31,565 --> 00:21:32,415
Oh!
548
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:35,381
(laughter)
549
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,292
I blame you for this.
550
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:42,506
BRYANA: (indistinct)
I'm sorry.
551
00:21:48,582 --> 00:21:49,522
Captioned by Visual Data
552
00:21:49,572 --> 00:21:54,122
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